Real Moms Real Worlds

I'mmmm Baaaaccckkk! 😬

2016-08-02T03:15:00.000-05:00

Hello World! I am back ... I feel as if these last few years I had been swept up by the Starship Enterprise..... Because I have boldly gone where no man or mother have gone before.... Ok I'll admit that most families have crazy times and there are trials and tribulations they go through. I have to tell you, however, our family's cup RUNNETH OVER... At this point I feel as its out of the cup across the counter down the cabinets and I am standing it three feet of water (🤔 Make that jello) Because treading through jello takes mountain of energy and one must make the commitment to swim through it to get to the other side.

Well I won't delve into all the details tonight but over the next few weeks I am going to try and give a brief synopsis of the last 3-4 years.... Who knows I may break the Internet with all the craziness that has transpired... You laugh now but just you wait. We are going to have fun catching up I promise.

Ooooh, You ask why do I find myself back here after all this time. Well I have not elaborated of the fact that I have Major Depressive Disorder... Along with a couple of other diagnoses thrown in for good measure. So I found myself on Facebook... A lot... And then I created a Page... And it's basically all posts of pretty or insightful and also some quite funny ... Memes... You know those cute little pictures with witty and inspiring words on them.... Well it's going a couple of months now and I thought to myself the other day ... I really enjoy scouring all over the Internet for just the right words put together along with a somewhat ascetically pleasing structure... Yes digressing and I are still old friends... Well basically I thought that if I was trying to express feelings then maybe I should use my own words instead...

I've written a ton of poetry but it tends to draw out the "dark" (that's my affectionate name for my depression) in me ... So instead of being a healthy outlet it would start to make me obsess of the ugly and sad things. Sooooooo ... I remembered I had this blog that I'd abandoned for so long .... So please forgive my neglect. But I am back and I'm hoping that the funny joyful Joie will crawl out from her cave she's cloaked herself under for so long.

Wish me luck and I'll see you soon ... With a cup of coffee and a story to tell.
Love and kisses ... And yes it's 3am ... And I must lonely 🎶🎶🎶 ... Couldn't help myself ... I love that song by Rob Thomas of Matchbox 20 ... Look them up ... And good night (or good morning might fit better) ... 🎶🎶🎶 Off to never never land💤💤💤 (yes Metallica citation) 😉

2012-06-22T12:57:00.000-05:00

So I havent written in forever. If I were to try and tell you everything thats gone on in the past year we would all be here a very long time. So let's just say that raising 4 sons is much more "energy absorbing" that I would have ever imagined.

I truly believed as they all got older that for the most part things would begin to fall into place. However, I find myself in this strange world of worry and frustration with an occasional "driveby" of brilliance and and relief. I find myself wanting to chase after that "driveby car full of brilliance" thinking to myself that surely my sweet inquisitive children have been taken hostage by the person driving that car.

Anyway.... All I can say is that I want SO much for my sons ... and I know that I am not doing them any favors by continuing to do things for them. So I sit and watch them stumble and it tears at my insides so badly that sometimes I lash out at them (and alot of times rightly so) when I really just need to let them figure it out on their own. I'm coming to realize that when you mess up ... you are really hoping that no one is looking or if they are looking they dont rub your nose in the "mess you've made".

So I will sit here .... Hoping that they might actually come ask for help if they need it. But children (quasi-young adults) arent very good at asking for help .... :::sigh:::

see you in a year .... or maybe sooner ....

Can you take "too good of care" of your kids ...

2011-02-02T15:27:00.001-06:00

I've been thinking alot lately about the fact my sons are all growing up ......

Some of the things you teach your children are by "doing" actually most things are. One would think by doing things for your children that you are showing them how to behave as an adult.

Things like helping when you see they might need it ... even if they don't ask ...... making their favorite meal if they are sick or sad ..... "sliding them money" for something special they want .... Smiling .... being happy to see them ..... telling them they are good at something ..... encouraging to "go for their dreams" .....

and by doing those things you would think they would do the same things for others ..... hmmmm

Most days I think that they take me for granted ... like "she's mom ... she is supposed to do all those things for us"

Have I made my job look so easy that they don't every think that I or their father ever need anything? Because if I ask for them to start doing some of their own things or to help more with the house we ALL live in .... it seems an inconvenience. Sort of like "that's your job ... not mine"

Granted they are nice on Mother's day or my birthday or Christmas ... I'd rather they not be thoughtful on those three days if they aren't going to be the other 362 days a year.

I just think I've done tooooo much and they don't understand it's time to pick up and be responsible for their selves a bit more ...... god knows they want to make every other decision on their own and want you to "but out" and let them be "grown" .....

So .... I am very frustrated sitting here writing this .... feeling guilty for wanting to stop doing things for them and angry at the same time for keeping on doing them when they seem to EXPECT that I do it ..... or they say they will do it and never do .....

That's what I'm pondering .....
~joie

Rant .....

2010-01-26T16:12:00.001-06:00

Everyday I start out with thoughts and ideas about what today will be about. And I move along through the day with a basic idea of what needs to be done ...... mostly I get the things done I need to. I feel a general sense of having accomplished a few goals ..... and I'm always thinking of ways that things might run smoother .... or get more done...... you know hopes ideas dream ..... things that you can act on to make happen ...... but it seems like children don't want to make those dreams come true .... if it involves a little HARD work .....that is ....

Lately I've been having a really hard time tryng to manage 4 individual personalities .... my sons. If I look at their unique personalities I think what great, funny, cool kids they are and how lucky I am that they are healthy and happy.... other than the usual teenage angst. But when I watch their total disconnect for the world around them and their lack of respect for so many things that are supremely important in helping them become successful adults, I ask myself "what have I not done or neglected to do that allows them to not care?"

I'm not trying to say that my children are somehow "incapable" of understand what they need to do to be successful. They just don't seem to put forth the effort it takes to be their best .... or even almost their best. They say "school is gay" (I hate the phrase), the teachers are stupid, why do I have to learn this anyway ...... you get the picture ....

Why do most kids have this feeling about school???? You know if a small child is interested in something they are almost obsessive about it to the point they drive you crazy. So what is it that doesn't allow them that feeling for atleast some parts of school ..... and if it is there I never hear it from them. It's only the negative part I hear.

I truly feel like I am banging my head against a wall .... and I'll go so far as to say that they are there watching me do it and it doesn't seem to bother them in the least that their mother is so overcome with anxiety and worry for their future. I guess they have taken on the "parents are idiots they don't understand" .... but all the while they want you to ablige their every whim ...... "mom can you take me here .... can I have blah blah" ....... you know what I mean.

Anyway .... this is a rant with no real ending .... I know .... I just had to put it out there in the land of the "world wide web' ..... knowing that someone will read it and that maybe they know exactly how i feel .... because we all hope that someone can understand how we feel .... so we don't feel so alone in our chaos ....

Sorry it's been so long .... thanks for still being there when I needed you .... smile

A Bit of Poetry .....

2009-11-09T16:44:00.000-06:00

So I also have written poetry all my life and thought I'd throw some stuff up here .... any feed back is appreciated ..... I've always wanted to put the poems I actually have written down or can remember into a book ... so this is close enough .... hope you like them ....

Between Trust and Love
Stupidity Stupidity ..... Stupidity and me ....
I'm drowning in a sea
A sea of deceit
An ocean of lies and each day that passes
I'm dying inside
As I listen to words that pass over lips
Wanting to believe it's all true ....
........ then he slips ........
Do people ever change?
Do they say what they mean?
Why not tell the truth?
Why keep hidden ..... if not seen?
Giving of heart of trust and of love
Praying .... don't let it happen again
Taking that chance to let a heart mend
Once again torn apart .....
Torn apart in the end.
Stupidity stupidity ...... Stupidity and ME.
Stupidity .... stupidity .... Stupidity set me Free.
~joie

So I'm back .... Let's catch up ....

2009-11-09T13:39:00.002-06:00

Well it has been an eventful last month .... I have been to my sister-in-law's wedding in GA .... and then to Las Vegas with my wonderful husband. I then came home and got some sort of "flu-ish" sickness.

First off ... going back to GA and getting to see some of my old friends family and neighbors was great. It really made me wish we lived closer. Our family (all 6 of us) went down for the wedding a day early so the boys could see their old friends and they ended up spending the night at my very dear friends house. I really miss getting to just sit and talk with her over a cup of coffee. We also went to our old neighborhood and got to see my Beth (my neighbor across the street). Sitting in her living room was just like I had never left. You know you have true friends when no matter how long it is in between visits it feels like you never left.

Anyway ... on to the wedding .... I don't really have any real pictures to share right now because our entire family (yes all 6) were in the wedding party .... But she had a beautiful location up in the North Georgia mountains at a place called Sutton Mill ..... so pretty .... even though there was light rain and her wedding was supposed to be outside ... we ended up under a pavilion ... so we still got the outside feeling ..... so now she's married ....smile

Then ... we got home on Sunday and my husband and I turned around and left Wednesday and went to VEGAS BABY!! Awesome .... from start to finish .... well ... there was one little thing .... my son Tulsa (16) .... the day after we left had his wallet, I-phone and car keys stolen at school ... so we had to coordinate ... quite successfully I might add .... between the school the police and my mother-in-law (who was watching the children for us) ..... to find his things .... since it was wallet and keys the person know had our address and the keys to the car and could take it at any time ... seems far fetched ... not really ..... anyway .... we had just about 3 weeks before subscribed to the Mobile Me service from Apple. It can locate the phone through GPS and even wipe all info off the phone and Lock it so the person can't use it. AWESOME!!!!! is all I have o say ...... the police officer was actually able to go on line ... (since we were in Las Vegas) and find the house and arrest the kid and got Tulsa's stuff back ... all that was gone was about $20 cash. I highly recommend this service!!!!!

ANway .... I also had the excitement of hitting on the Deal or No Deal slot machine for $1535 ... I didn't even realize I had won that much ... I thought it was $307 but it was 307 credits .... and just on a whim .... since it was out last night there .... I decided to play the $5 Deal or No Deal slot that I walked by ..... it just sort of called my name and I thought I'll waste $100 it's the last night ..... WooHoo .... so anyone out there .... if you get that "feeling" .... you might wanna think about taking the chance .... don't go crazy now .... I don't want to be the cause of anyone going bankrupt because of my comment!

So back to reality .... I started back to Pilates today ... I forgot how much I really do love doing it ... and the fact that it's good for you makes it all the better .....

I'm also in the process of working with the High School and the Elementary school to help 2 of my children .... one has ADD and one has ADHD .... it is a very frustrating problem but I really feel like I'm getting somewhere .... I'll be writing about the things I'm learning because I know there are so many parents out there dealing with this .... I know how upsetting it can be and how you feel lost in what to do .... and you also feel guitly ..... like it's your fault they have these problems .... I've got lot's to say about this so be on the look out in the next few days ....

Til Then ..... Keep Smiling ....
~joie

2009-10-06T10:35:00.000-05:00

I haven't written for a while .... alot is going on in my world .... everyday .... and sometimes it just bubbles up and I feel like I'm drowning. Right now all of my children have "issues" .... I feel like I'm standing in the middle of my kitchen and the room is spinning around me. It's not that any of it is "earth shattering" but when you have 4 different problems to try and solve or help your children with and then throw in a sister-in-law getting married ... in another state .... and you and your husband and all 4 of your children are part of the actual wedding party... and you have to get everyone organized in the middle of trying to run your everyday life ..... well like I said ... you feel like you are drowning .....

I am sort of feeling inadequate. I would like to take one problem at a time and set all the others off to the side but that's not how life works ..... children don't "wait" well .... and to be honest ... I don't do well with them waiting .... I worry about them and then it makes fixing any problems harder .... am I making any sense?

I am hoping that just writing this here will help to clear out my head. Really I'd like to crawl back in bed and sleep for about 10 hours .... but....

Okay ... video for sister-in-law's wedding ..... I have about 150 picutes to scan in and then make a slideshow for her wedding reception ..... so ... I'm starting there .... I'll be back later when I have something else to get off my mind ..... wish me luck!

~joie

Feeling sickly ....

2009-09-24T23:03:00.001-05:00

Hello world ..... just wanted to let you know that I'm alive .... barely ..... I have some strange combination of sicknesses ..... It's probably H1N1 .... who knows .....

But isn't it true that we all believe we have something once we've heard about that illness on TV. You can talk yourself into all the symptoms. I've gone to the H1N1 website atleast 3 times and re-read the signs and symptoms and then the "what to do's". Admit it ... I just did ..... we are all pretty paranoid when left by ourselves and the internet. I have searched all kinds of crazy stuff. I remember the time that one of my boys (I'll leave his name out so he won't flip out) ... had ... and I'm Not Joking ..... florescent green poop when he was a toddler. It kept on for several days ... now the internet wasn't quite as big a deal 15 or so years ago .... so it took me a few days to think of looking it up. Finally I thought I'd just type in the words "florescent green poop" ...... You would not believe how many things came up ...... and many of them you don't want to know ..... but there it was .... some mom's posting on some medical web site ..... Purple Koolaid! I could not believe someone had thought "... you know what ... I'm going to post about why my childs poop is florescent green"

Strange but true ..... the internet is also great for "how to's". I've been room mother for all of my 4 children at some point in their lives and I can't tell you how many nights I've sat up searching for age appropriate crafts and games. Oh ... and clip art for all those cute little flyers that you send home with the children .... I did our Elementary Schools newspaper and directory too. I'd go on and search for interesting tidbits of information or "fun kid facts" or maybe riddles to fill in the newspaper so the kids ...and the parents for that fact .... would be more apt to read it ....

That thought brings me to another observation .... why does there always have to be a gimmick. I can get sucked into something if there is a "special reward" or something. Like all those deals at the grocery stores right now. I scour the wednesday paper because it has all the flyers for the upcoming week's sales. Like right now .... at Jewel ... if you buy in sets of 10 you can get boxes of pop-tarts for $1.50 each ... and then if you do coupons to make it even less .... or those deals where if you spend a certain amount of like Kraft foods or Proctor & Gamble ... then you get a coupon at the end for $5 or $10 or more occasionally .... off your next visit.....

Okay you get the picture ... I'm cutting this short ... my brain and eyes and nose ....and throat .... all hurt ..... we'll chat more later .....
~joie

Our Throw Away World....

2009-09-22T21:05:00.000-05:00

Have you ever really sat down and thought about all the absolute waste we have in our everyday lives. I was cleaing out my cabinets being annoyed by how many empty cardboard containers my family leaves there. So when you are looking for things you are out of before going to the store you don't know that you are really out. Well this is why I picked this topic today ......

So I make lunch and I go to get crackers ..... EMPTY box ..... I go to get a soda in the frig .... EMPTY 12pack container ..... Want cereal .... get it in the bowl .... TWO DROPS of milk left in the gallon .... does anyone else feel my pain??

So as I'm throwing out the empty containers .... and walking through the house ....cleaning up after the children .... (as you'll remember from my earlier rants) who must have some mental defect that does not allow them to return dishes and trash to their rightful place. Reverse alzheimer's maybe .... we will hope they are cured by adulthood or else we'll be caring for the for the rest of their lives .....

Anyway .... so have you really looked at the things that we are throwing away on a daily basis. I have to pour out on average 1/2 of all the soda cans that the kids (and my husband is guilty of this too) leave sitting around all over. Then there is the food I cook ... and I admit I don't cook alot anymore ... because my children are not home enough to eat a real dinner .... they want to run in and grab something quick. If I have cooked dinner .... inevitably they come and and say they've gotten something out or they've eaten at someone else's house .... (note to self : I've got to do a post on cooking and food ... so many stories to delve into there) ..... So there I sit .... putting food into containers to be lost in the back of the frig never to be found again .... well that is until about a month later and you ignore the container on purpose because you don't want to have to open it and look to see what it used to be. I have 3 of these containers in the refrigerator as I'm typing this. Yes, I will throw it out ..... probably the bowls and all ..... thank goodness for those reusable containers that come with the Hillshire Farms deli meats ...... sorry .... digression has occurred...... back on subject...

So .... other things I throw out .... SOCKS! .... my children think that socks are disposable ... they run around out side with only socks on (yes they are clothed ... geez... I'm not THAT out of control) .... I have no idea why they do this and I can't get them to stop either. So the end result is all their socks get holes worn in them with great efficiency. The people at Zumiez (a teenage clothes & skateboard shop) know me I'm sure by the name "that sock lady". I go in there about once every other month and buy about 20 pairs of socks. Remember I have 4 sons, and all of their friends .... who make frequent trips to our friendly "sock basket" that sits in my kitchen area along with Never Ending piles of clean clothes ..... yes ... I'm admitting it .... This would be another topic of discussion .... LAUNDRY! ..... I could also discuss underwear sharing too ... but I'll spare you details on that .....

Next .... broken everything ...... by this I mean .... the COUNTLESS number of toys .... board games .... stuffed animals.... electronics devices .... video game discs .... all of these that are no longer usable because either pieces are missing, parts are broken or discs have been scratched to the point that they no longer play. How is it these things we pay slews of money for break but the stick from the yard with blue painters tape wrapped around it will be in our house for eternity for me to pick up and sit back out in the garage only to see it on my kitchen counter again the next day. Oh, and never throw it away or there will be wailing and gnashing of teeth the likes of if you had you thrown the puppy away.

I have one more word for you JUNK MAIL .... okay so that was two .... I can't tell you how much mail, magazines .... paper advertisements, new papers .... I throw out. It's insane to me in the economic times we live in that businesses would not cut back on the absolute waste of paper that these bulk mail things produce. I don't even open most of them anymore. Occasionally, the advertisers will get sneaky and make it look all "official" and you open it to realize it's a sales pitch ... I wonder if the companies know when they do that it just irritates us more and we surely won't use their services after being "duped".

Governement waste ..... gee ... yep it's ridiculous .... but waste in our own lives everyday .... we give them a run for their money if you adjust for the size ...... wish I had an answer .... but atleast maybe now we will start thinking about it when we are throwing things out or making superflous purchases .... or maybe not .... we are all creatures of habit ..... it's hard to change ....

It's been fun.... see you later!
~joie

I got nothin .....

2009-09-20T20:27:00.000-05:00

So when I started this a week-ish ago I had no idea it would be so difficult to write your thoughts down consistantly. I have plenty of things swirling around in my head all the time but getting them out on paper "or computer screen" is really hard. The first few days I was totally excited .... then came children .... and their behavior ... then my birthday..... and the last thing I wanted to do was have to think about putting something to words......

So ..... children and behavior. Do you ever think .... I've completely lost control of my children? That was the case this week. I like to think I have a really great relationship with my sons and their friends. So much so that over the years our home has become the "place to hang". I must say that I really do love it .... 95% of the time. Unfortuately, the 5% I don't love it .... I REALLY Dislike it ......

What I mean by losing control is ... You know how other children always act really good at your house when visiting. We all make the comments to the "other kids" parents .... oh they are great ... No worries they are always welcome. And then it happens, one day you are standing in your own kitchen about to explode because the kitchen is a disaster .... food left out .... dirty dishes everywhere ... crumbs ... empty "food boxes" .... because they've eaten everything! ..... you get the picture ....and you can take out the word kitchen and insert whatever room in the house you want because all the rooms look the same.

Cleaning up is just the first part of "losing control" .... there are also the endless .... "Would you please bring your dirty clothes" .... "Would you please clean the cat box" .... "Would you please take the trash out" ... Would you, Would you, Would you ...... blah blah blah. You never have to ask the questions once ....it's always minimally its 3 or 4 times. When you finally lose it and scream your question they have the nerve to say ...." why are you yelling mom??" I don't know about you but this just raises my blood pressure even higher.

You know what ... I'm not even going to rattle on about this ..... Every parent in America knows what I'm talking about. Yes, I have typical children. Yes, for the most part they are really good kids that happen to "loose their minds" ocassionally. Yes, I believe we as parents have instilled the right values and have taught them right from wrong. So why do we as parents lose it???? Because lets admit it .... we are control freaks ..... sorry to say it ....

We believe our kids should be perfect little robots ..... come on parents .... think back .... how many times did we as children do stupid things ..... We all today say .... "When I was your age ....... " insert reference of your choice, but there is that little "twist" in the pit of our stomaches ... reminding us all the things we got in trouble for as kids ...... and for that matter all the things we didn't get caught for doing too.

So I'm typing these words but I really need to listen to them too ..... Everyone take a breath .... our children are going to make mistakes ..... and drive you crazy by not listening to your words of wisdom .... but they are going to grow up and I can pretty safely bet that they will be okay..... and if they aren't (by some very small chance) ... it won't be for our lack of trying .....

Sorry this was a disjointed rambling ..... but I'm tired and it's been a long week of dealing with unruly children ..... and I have wasted alot of energy "flipping out" as they would say .... about things that they were definately out of line about but in the grand scheme of things ...... were not worth most of the energy that I expended ranting about it ....

Nite folks .....
~joie

Helping our Children "Get It"

2009-09-15T09:21:00.000-05:00

So when I woke up this morning I still didn't know what I was going to write about. I made my coffee ... Coffeemate Coconut creamer(hard to find, I use hazelnut as a substitute), Nesquik chocolate syrup and a "blop" of cool whip (french vanilla when in season).... and for those of you counting calories .... its about 125 calories .... I have spent alot of time on figuring calories of different coffees over time. Remember that word digress .... I just did it again ... smile..... coffee is not my topic of the day .... sorry....

Anyway ..... as I'm watching Goodmorning America they have this initiative going on about Meals for Hungry Families thing ..... they are trying to raise 10 million meals .... and they suggested if you have a dinner party .... or friends over for football games etc., ask everyone to bring one canned/boxed food item with them. As I was watching .... the light bulb went off .... it's not brite but it's always lighting the way ..... I really try hard to get our kids to understand about helping others in some small way. I'm not this huge get out and volunteer person. I'm more like ... if you see someone needs something you help in whatever way you can. We've been quite fortunate in our lives so it's hard for our children to see or believe that not everyone is as lucky ... intellectually they understand it but emotionally I don't know if they can really grasp what it would mean to have to worry about food or clothes or being able to ask for most anything and be able to have it.

So.... my idea is ..... why not have my children's friends bring over 1 thing each time they visit our house. Seems tough you say? .... come on ... a can of vegetables is .50 or so ..... they will probably raid their parents cabinets anyway, but atleast they are being responsible enough to bring it and it makes them remember there are people out there that need help. I would put boundries on this of course ... like a 4 item a week maximum ... or if they forget they could drop .50 in a jar. You are thinking "...well what about your own children joie??" I've got that figured out too. If they wanted to go somewhere they would have to donate in the same manner.

As I see it that would have to be atleast 100 items a month. That could do alot of good when you look at it that way. I'm going to figure it out completely and I'll keep you posted. I'd love to hear any ideas that any of you have on the subject. They have to be little things ..... you can build on little things but if it's too difficult or the goal is too high people (especially kids) give up ..... we'll see ....

That's what I've got for today ... it's a busy rest of the week .....

See you soon,
~joie

Living with Life....

2009-09-14T12:58:00.001-05:00

(anyone following me and getting my posts through email ... if you can ... please come to my site to read them so the nice people putting ads on my site - that help keep blogs up and going .... get the benefit of you seeing their ads! Thanks, joie)

Over the years I have grown to have a robust love for all the little things life has to offer .... even when it's not the best of circumstances. I'm sure everyone who has children can remember a time when one of your kids said or did something that you cringed at and then sort of smiled about it later. I believe in that saying ".....if nothing bad ever happened how would you know what good was." So embrace the good the bad and the ugly ..... in life.

Example:
I was married first when I was 20 and had my three oldest sons. If you had asked me when I was getting divorced if I could find anything "okay" about my boys going through their parents divorcing I would have told you "No Way".

Well after watching them grow up with their step-dad since they were 3, 5 and 7 ..... There are so many great and wonderful things that I cannot count them. Do I feel bad that their biological father gradually became the "absentee" dad .... sure .... but after seeing what he has let his life become over the years, it was best for the boys. I truly believe they've become more well rounded thoughtful young adults .

My husband Mark and I have have manuvered through our lives together helping our children (now 4 of them) to understand why people act like they do. We've told them that just because people who love you act badly toward you .... it doesn't mean that person doesn't love you. We've taught them you love unconditionally .... and loving someone doesn't always make what that person is doing right or okay, but you still love them anyway. Another great saying .... "we are not our actions" and .... "hate the sin love the sinner" ...... anyway ... you get the picture. They are getting a real life perspective instead of just hypotheticals ... which sometimes are difficult to really absorb.

In conclusion ..... smile .... sounds so serious doesn't it .... Would I have ever wanted to have gone through a divorce? ..... never .... did it end up being an incredibly good thing for them .... and our whole family .... for sure. Even my husband, I know, has gained from having this love for these 3 little boys brought into his life. When they've gotten in trouble for various things ... he has told them ....I'm not going to try act like your father because I know you have one. But I am telling you that I love you and I care what happens to you "BECAUSE I WANT TO ..... not because I have to. Giving of love freely ... not out of obligation ..... smile .... refreshing.....

I used to get upset at my husband when I'd talk to him about adopting the boys ... he told me that it tells the boys alot more that he chooses to take care of them instead of being told he has to because of a piece o paper. Obviously, a piece of paper doesn't hold alot of weight (for example: divorce papers saying you have 3 children to help support emotionally and financially). It hasn't worked on my ex-husband and more so THEIR FATHER....

Sorry to go off on a soap box .... as you know being a mommy has alot of heart break and that's why we fight so hard for whats best for our kids even when they don't "get it" or get "annoyed" by our actions. But as passionately as we fight for them and with them ..... we love them EVEN More!....

Because .... WE ARE MOMMY! :::: said with a triumpahnt wave of the arm and a hurrah:::

thanks for listening to my ramblings .....
joie

....and They Began to Multipy...

2009-09-13T19:28:00.000-05:00

I was going to post this in the morning .... but events have changed .... and I wanted to post it now .... While I was getting this post ready Shakespeare ( the kitten I just wrote this post about) was asleep .. he was fine this morning ..... he went to sleep and when I went to feed him about an hour ago he was almost gone .... I rushed him to the vet ER .... but he did not make it .... so when you read this just know he was very loved even for just these few days ..... RIP Shakespeare .....

So last post was the beginning .... and as of today I've recently taken on my newest project. His name is Shakespeare and he is about 3 weeks old. My friend ... who knows me for the crazy cat lady that I am.... called last week and said " ... Joooiiee...I think you maybe you could help me ...." and I tried to resist ... I even gave helpful information the first phone call and said goodbye. Then came the second call later that day. She asked if I could come over and help retrieve the kitty.... and so I grabbed my 10 year old Warren .... lover of all living creatures .... and off we go. That's where I made my first mistake.

About 30 minutes later I'm standing in Petco and I have my friend with me and we are going to play the pity card and see if anyone working there would love to take this kitten that is going to need to be bottle fed and nutured big time! No luck this day .... and as I stood there with the prospect of the kitten going to a shelter and not getting all the attention it would need to survive .... i went back to the isle that keeps all the "newborn kitten" supplies. All the while Warren is asking "Mommy... whats going to happen to the kitty?" I said I don't know honey ... we already have 4 cats ... daddy isnt going to let us have anymore. So as you know if you have children ... you can always pawn off giving the bad news to the other parent.... I said ... "call your father ... but he's going to say NO...... ". That is where I made my second mistake. Never send the apple of daddy's eye to daddy and expect to get relief from your guilt.

So as I'm filling the bottle with formula right there in the store ..... as I hand the cashier my debit card and ask if she has a safety pin to put a hole in the nipple of the bottle ..... Warren says ..... "Mommy, daddy wants to talk to you." All the while .... and I'm talking the last 30 minutes..... the kitty has been meowing non-stop. We now have the attention of two employees and another customer at checkout all who are panicking like there is a bomb about to explode my hands if we don't get the bottle in this kitten's mouth in the next 5 seconds. I knew as soon as I heard those words from my son that the lil' bomb would be coming home with us.

So here I am today .... 10 days later .... feeding that kitty a bottle and trying to teach him to eat wet food and to pee and poop in cat litter. Oh and for the record .... you can teach a cat to like water. All you have to do is give him warm bathes 4 or 5 times a day and towel dry his sweet little face. While doing this you can enjoy the sound of his sweet little purr. It somehow makes all the other stuff worth it. Yes .... I am mommy ... and that's what this blog is really all about ..... being a mommy .... I love it....

So I really skipped ahead to the end of the pet population in our home ... so as not to bore you any further ... I'll just give you a run down of their names .... because most people get a kick out of them.

Einstein - elder statesman our pomeranian (red)
Edison - 2nd in command ... he's a pomeranian also (white)
Nietzsche - our first cat ... Large and white
Curie - she's a small shy orange tabby cat
Holiday - she's a tabby too, but brown ... and not very intelligent
Oppenheimer - grey stray kitten we rescued from our bushes when he was about 8wk old.
Mozart - our 3rd pomeranian (he's 10months old) and reminds me of my son Warren - relentless!

Shakespeare - you know his story

We also had DaVinci who died in an accident and Picasso who got very sick (pancreantitis). They were awesome and alot of the reason we kept rescuing other kitties.

We'll call this my pet of the day ... Mozart

Bet you didn't know this would be educational .... smile. My husband says we might as well make the animals an opportunity for learning .... as well a for loving!

On to other topics tommorrow .... see you there!

How many pets should one family have?

2009-09-13T07:17:00.000-05:00

Well good morning all .... sitting here with a cup of coffee .... I've become my own barista lately .... sorry Starbucks ... we all have to cut back these days.

So as for our family's pets .... we've sort of let this area get out of control..... as if the other areas were in control. Since we've moved from Atlanta 5 years ago we have gone from 2 dogs and a cat to our current status of 3 dogs and 5 cats. Now for the sake of "full disclosure" ... we've had and "lost" in various ways .... 4 additional cats.
This all started when my son Tulsa, who was 12 at the time along with his friend Tanner, found 4 kittens in our backyard by the pond one day. We waited all day taking turns watching from afar, but the mother cat never came back. After many calls, I was told they would die from the cold overnight. So our journey began. I got them in a box and took them with me to Petco. The very nice lady at checkout showed me the things I'd need to care for them as well as a crash course on raising newborns. The kittens still had their umbilical cords, and she said they were no more than 2 or 3 days old. She offered to take 2 of them ... thank goodness.

I took them home and began the process of mothering these tiny babies .... unfortunately we lost one after just 2 days. Mark told me to take the other to the vet and have her checked out. We did, and after a $125 vet bill, he told us she looked good and to keep doing what I was doing. "Hurray!" we all thought. As you know with 4 children (and a neighborhood full of children) rooting her on, we all became quite attached. I was up every few hours feeding and "cleaning" her up. She went all over the house with me in a shoe box.

One afternoon, about 5 days later, we were all working putting a puzzle together. Just to note when I say we this usually means my 4 boys as well as 3 or 4 of my "extra children" that I have taken into the fold (yes I have a way of taking in strays of all sorts... I can't help.) Being a mother doesn't stop at blood ties for me. You will notice this trend in all the stories I'll write. But as I said earlier .... I digress ...... ALOT.

Anyway, Our kitty had been alseep a long time and I went to wake her up and she was limp. She was gone. I called Mark, who was very sympathetic, and told him the news. I was sure he would break the news to his fellow employees and they would "have a moment" - NOT - but it always feels better to tell someone of your plight. At home however, there was much crying and decisions about burial (you've all seen the tv shows with the shoebox funerals ....)

So that evening I called my husband as he was driving home.... who by the way is allergic to cats, and I asked "do you think we could have a kitten" .... Mark in his serious voice said "I don't know .... lets talk about it when I get home". I said okay and told Warren I didn't think we'd get another kitten because daddy was allergic and we already had enough pets (yea right 3 ... little did I know). So Dad pulled up while we were all outside enjoying the summer evening ... and as I'm looking at him .... I notice he's carrying something in his hands .... not 1 but 2 kittens. He said that if you have one kitten he needs a friend to grow up with ..... and so the story goes .... Act 2 tommorrow .... They began to multipy.....

So This Is My First Post......

2009-09-12T21:46:00.001-05:00

Hi! My Name is Joie and I’m a mom raising four boys. I’ve thought about sitting down and sharing my daily thoughts about my life as “mommy” for a while. People say …. “ohhh, 4 boys” and then give you that look like “poor girl”. I’m here to say no! ... not poor girl …. I love every minute of it (okay not Every minute). I’ve always wanted to talk to other moms that could relate ….. So here I am …. relating to you. I hope you enjoy listening as much as I’ve enjoyed living through them.

Since we’re all new here let me tell you a bit about my family. My husband, who I’ll refer to often, is Mark. He is the absolute love of my life…. go ahead stick your finger down your throat. Believe me though, you don’t have to worry about this being the “Leave it to Beaver” family …. we are so far from it we’ve snuck in the back door. So maybe we could be called “the Retro Cleavers”. Anyway, I digress, I will do this alot. My husband is a workaholic and we as a family have come to accept this and just know that dad is here when we need him.

Okay so my boys:

Devon – my sweet quiet 18 year old freshman at college. He’s the musician of the family. He plays drums, yes at our home. I’ve heard everything from covers of the Rolling Stones to this screeching howling stuff called “screamo” …. currently when he’s home from college …. he plays this cool electro funk jam stuff…. quite enjoyable as bands in your basements go.

Tulsa – My 16 year old ball of pent up energy. He is the jock of the family and currently plays varsity football. He and his friends have practically eaten us out of house and home this summer….. they swarm in like locust, shower, hang out a bit then move on til the next meal time.

Logan – He is 14, and the laid back charmer. Logan hasn’t exactly embraced school yet. This is his first year of high school so Mark and I are hoping for success. He is a smart funny kid that has not found his nitch yet. He will …. stay tuned for updates!

Warren – What can I say about 10 year old Warren. Anything I say will never quite describe him. I have been told by countless adults what a pleasure he is to talk to. He has this inquizzative brain that never turns off. He absorbs everything, and be sure to never “promise to do something later” in hopes of him forgetting. It’s not going to happen. He is responsible for the majority of my hair loss I’m sure.

So that’s the family … except for the 3 dogs and 5 cats we’ve thrown into the mix just to spice things up a bit. I’ll tell you about them next post. Then we can all move on to the really good stuff ….. LIFE!

Thanks for reading …. see you next time!

~joie