Real Monstrosities

Ocean Sunfish

2012-05-27T12:00:00.000+01:00

It's the third biggest fish in the world! It's... wait a minute... where's the rest of it?

It's the biggest fish head in the world!

The Ocean Sunfish, Mola mola, reigns as the biggest of all bony fish. They are defeated only by the Whale Shark and Basking Shark, who, being sharks, are cartilaginous fish.

But nature is weird, and the Ocean Sunfish is weirder than most, so while being a bony fish, it has a skeleton made largely of cartilage. And it has no swim bladder. Or ribs. And it's most closely related to pufferfish.

Oh yeh, and it's basically a head. When I say it's the biggest bony fish, I certainly don't mean it's the longest, but it is the heaviest. The Ocean Sunfish simply isn't outstandingly long. Somewhere around here I probably have a piece string longer than the third biggest fish in the world!

So just how big is it?

The average is around:
1.8 m (5.9 ft) long,
2.5 m (8.2 ft) in height from fin to fin,
1,000 kg (2,200 lb) weight. A ton!

Particularly large individuals may be:
3.3 m (10.8 ft) long,
4.2 m (14 ft) in height from fin to fin,
2,300 kg (5,100 lb) weight. 2 and a half tons!

Those are some strange dimensions! Whoever heard of a fish that was taller than it was long? (you did, just now) Don't even bother with width, it's almost 2 dimensional.

And they look all soft and squishy because they don't have scales. Instead they have skin up to 7.5 cm (3 in) thick that is rough as sandpaper and covered in mucus. That's two reasons not to hug an Ocean Sunfish!

There is one part that's nice and smooth though. It's that weird thing on the end that replaces the tail fin. And tail. It's known as the clavus, which is the other name for the hard and horrible corns people can get on their feet. I sincerely doubt the Ocean Sunfish got like that because of "intermittent pressure and frictional forces."

Image: Dive Concepts Bali via Flickr

Inside the clavus are 12 fin rays and at the end are bumpy lumps of bony ossicles. It can be used as a rudder, but it's far too small to provide thrust. So too are the tiny pectoral fins that look like Charlie Brown's arms.

And so Ocean Sunfish is left with their dorsal and anal fins for propulsion. And they're huge! Each one is almost as long as the body is tall and they're both about the same size and shape. It gives the Ocean Sunfish a unique symmetry as it slowly swims, those mighty fins swaying to and fro.

What ARE you?

Though the pace be languid, they get there in the end. And when I say there I mean pretty much everywhere. Ocean Sunfish are found in all tropical and temperate ocean waters across the world. They can tolerate a bit of chilliness, but they certainly don't want icebergs floating above them. Quite fitting for something called a Sunfish.

And unlike the Basking Shark, the Ocean Sunfish really does bask in the sun. They turn onto their side on the ocean's surface and just drift along with the current. Ahhhh... lovely!

Aside from all the itching and scratching that is. Ocean Sunfish are infamous for the ridiculous number of parasites they harbour. They're like a walking oak tree, providing a habitat for an abundance of wildlife.

One reason for lying on their side is so sea birds land on this living island and start plucking out tasty beasties. Not a bad result from just floating around taking a rest.

On the opposite side of the energy scale, Ocean Sunfish can perform a rather shocking burst of speed to fling themselves out of the sea and 10 metres (33 feet) into the air! All those tons crashing back onto the water must be like an earthquake to all those parasites.

And toward the middle of the energy scale there is hanging around kelp forests to turn their blight into a bonanza for other, little fish. This is when they can end up getting quite close to shore. It seems that parasites are a constant consideration for poor old Ocean Sunfish.

There could, however, be some other reasons for basking. It's do to with food.

Image: fs999 via Flickr

In common with whales and the aforementioned giant sharks, the Ocean Sunfish eats lots and lots of not very much. The difference is that they don't have a huge mouth to catch huge amounts of tiny food. Instead, they have a tiny mouth for eating lots of nutritionally poor food.

Just like their pufferfish relatives, Ocean Sunfish have their teeth fused together to form a kind of beak. They mainly use it to crush and crunch their way through... jellyfish, which are some 95% water. It's like the Cucumber Diet or something... *Googled* Oh. That actually exists.

Since the Ocean Sunfish wants to be healthy and alive, rather than periodically lose half their weight on the X Diet and then put it all back on again on their normal diet, they must eat lots and lots of jellyfish. If they've been good, they can even treat themselves to small fish, crustaceans and squid. Mmmmmm, proper food! But then it's back to the jellyfish.

Image: Dive Concepts Bali via Flickr

Strangely enough, the Ocean Sunfish isn't actually averse to a bit of darkness. They regularly dive to depths of 300 m (984 ft) and they've occasionally been seen even deeper. One possibility is that basking in the sun allows them to warm up after entering the cold, deep waters.

Just as in the Whale Shark and Basking Shark, their giant size makes it all the more noticeable how little we know about their lives.

Here's something we do know though.

Many cartilaginous fish are a bit like mammals in that they devote a lot of energy to their offspring. Some sharks can even feed their unborn young unfertilized eggs so that they're big and strong on birth. For some, it goes to the extent where upon birth, some sharks may have already eaten their own siblings while they were still developing in mother's body.

Basically, big shark = big shark pups.

Image: G. David Johnson

Bony fish are different. They beat the odds through sheer weight of numbers. Instead of devoting energy into a few, well developed youngsters, they spawn millions of eggs.

Just as you would hope, the heaviest bony fish of all produces more eggs than any other vertebrate. Up to 300 million at a time.

I don't overly wish to know how much sperm the male produces, but 300 million cells is small change for that stuff and no-one seems to be particularly impressed with his output.

Still, did you know that "sperm are wonderful little cells and they can be loads of fun"? I always enjoy reading around my subject.

The eggs soon develop into fry some 2.5 mm (0.098 in) long. They don't look anything like their parents. Can you guess what they look like? Tiny pufferfish, of course! They have large pectoral fins, a tail fin and spikes.

They lose all that as they grow. This is particularly good news considering the spines. Can you imagine? They'd be a mile long! Always be grateful for gigantic mercies.

Violin Beetle

2012-05-25T12:00:00.001+01:00

Image: Dr. Arthur Anker

If it's smooth, curvy and made of wood, it's probably sexy. I'm right, aren't I? I haven't revealed some weird fetish thing about myself, have I? Nah... We all want to strip off and get into our fancy dan, wooden bathtub, feel the silky textures against our increasingly raisin-like skin... oooooh! Mmmm...

It's like tree-hugging taken to the next level. Only with more tree-corpse.

Image: Wikipedia

Violin Beetles are a bit different. This is no Stradivarius. If this is a violin, it's battered, broken and the strings are sprawling out all over the place.

Violin Beetles are five Southeast Asian beetles in the genus Mormolyce. They get their common name from looking utterly bizarre. They craned their neck and put a tiny head at the end. Then their wing cases went mad such that they take up a ridiculous amount of space for no apparent reason, like an unreasonably massive dress.

Image: Wikimedia

Despite looking like one of those big, flying seeds, I'm pretty sure Violin Beetles can't fly at all. They're a kind of ground beetle, and many of the larger ground beetles have fused wing cases that render their wings irrelevant. And Violin Beetles are certainly quite sizeable.

It still looks like a strong gust of wind could send them gliding off somewhere. In reality they are flattened to fit between the shelves of bracket fungi or under bark. In these dark places, they do their killing.

Mormolyce are named after Mormo, a kind of Greek bogey-woman who decided she wanted to bite and/or kill children in order to provide parents a well-needed death threat against their offspring.

Violin Beetles like to bite and eat, too. They do it to invertebrates. Those that interfere with the Violin Beetle's terrible plans may find themselves sprayed with butyric acid. Apparently it can paralyze your hand for a day! Thus incapacitated, the Violin can kill at leisure.

I think I know their favourite song...

Gorgonocephalus

2012-05-23T12:00:00.001+01:00

Image: NOAA/CBNMS

Gorgonocephalus is Greek for "dread head". The similarity to Rastafarians pretty much ends there.

Gorgonocephalus is a genus of a dozen or so Basket Stars who love the cold. They just love it! In the freezing north and frigid south they can be found at very shallow depths. Other species live closer to the equator and must take to the deep sea to avoid the bitter heat.

Image: SERPENT Media Archive Project

Like other Basket Stars they are a delightfully obscene mass of tendrils and tentacles. They pluck crustaceans and such from the sea, before flexible, branching arms coil around their catch. Next they bring it to a mouth situated on the underside of their central disc. It's surrounded in bristles so they can drag an arm through it and dislodge their incapacitated prey. In other words, they brush their tentacles! And then eat it like sugary dandruff.

Combs don't work so well with dreadlocks. Let alone a Gorgon's snake-hair. In fact, I don't think Medusa looked after her hair at all. Does a load of hissing snakes count as split ends?

Gorgonocephalus Basket Stars really like sponges and corals. At night they climb up them to get into the current and catch food. In the daytime they'll coil up and rest on them or on the ground right next to them. It's like a really perverse version of a guy on a rocking chair with a curled up cat on his lap. Some Basket Stars pick out poisonous sponges to live with so as to dissuade predators.

Image: NOAA/MBARI/MBNMS
When Gorgonocephalus meets Gorgonian
Way too many Basket Stars on a Bubblegum Coral

It's not all one way though, Basket Stars are keen to return a favour to their fleshy homes. They do it by eating, so it's really easy and no great sacrifice. What they eat is sundry debris that covers the sponge and may otherwise clog up the pores and prevent feeding. For the Basket Star it's mostly a free meal and hardly seems like housework at all.

Image: NOAA/MBARI
I shall call it the Gorgon Nebula

This mutual relationship can start from an early age. After males and females chuck their stuff into the sea, the planktonic larvae drift with the currents a while. Once they find a place to settle, some Gorgonocephalids will live and feed INSIDE coral polyps! They will only leave when they're big enough to venture out. Or, if you ask me, when they're too big to fit any more.

In, on and under. Basket Stars and sponges do it all!

Basking Shark

2012-05-20T12:00:00.001+01:00

Image: Greg Skomal/NOAA Fisheries Service

It's the second biggest fish in the world! It's a shark! But from the sounds of it we have absolutely nothing to fear. Is the Basking Shark really sitting around enjoying the Sun?

The answer is no. With all the eating they have to do, they just don't have the time! The name comes from their habit of swimming incredibly slowly right at the water's surface. They don't do it to catch some rays, it's for catching the tiny, planktonic creatures that make up their diet.

Basking Sharks are a million billion times bigger than the things they eat. This is not a precise calculation. In fact, it's not a calculation at all.

It's just that Basking Sharks average around 6 to 8 metres (20 to 26 ft) long and 5 or 6 tons in weight. Others are bigger, with the biggest on record measuring some 12 metres (40 ft) and an estimated 20 tons.

You know the powdery crumbs at the end of a box of breakfast cereal? They basically eat that. And they need lots of it!

Their first tool is a cavernous, gigantisaurus mouth up to 1 metre (3 ft 3 in) across. In order to eat they must open wide and swim. Swim and swim and swim. Unlike their even bigger Whale Sharks cousins, Baskers are unable to stop and gulp down great mouthfuls of water along with small fish and squid and whatever else. Poor, old Basking Shark has to keep moving and gobble up those crumbs.

Step two is the gills. These are covered in the gill rakers, bristles that strain out the plankton. In order to get enough food they need to have a lot of gill rakers, which means big gill slits, gill slits that almost entirely encircle their head. If they were any bigger, it's not clear that the head would actually remain attached!

Image: Chris Gotschalk

These adaptations mean that despite travelling at speeds of just 3.7 km/h (2.3 mph), a big one can filter through some 2,000 tons of water per hour. When the cookie crumbles, the Basking Shark just picks up those crumbs and makes a whole, new cookie!

To find all this food Basking Sharks travel all over the place in search of plankton blooms. The weird thing is that they seem to have come to some agreement with Whale Sharks; remember how Whale Sharks lived in all the tropical and subtropical oceans around the world? Well, Basking Sharks have taken up the rest, living in the cooler, temperate waters both north and south of the equator. It's so nice when sharks can get along!

There was always this odd mystery, though: where do all the Basking Sharks go in the winter? They're often seen at the surface in the warmer months, but they almost entirely disappear when it gets too cold.

For a long time it was thought that they were hibernating in deep waters, or maybe taking up a whole other lifestyle eating molluscs or something from the sea floor. There were two bits of evidence for this:

they appeared to lose their gill rakers in winter. Either they eat nothing, or they eat something other than plankton,
their liver lost weight. It usually accounts for up to 25% of their entire bodyweight, but it seemed to be much lighter in spring. Perhaps it was being used an energy store for hibernation?

It took satellite tagging in the early 2000s to shed some light on the issue.

Basking Sharks don't hibernate, they remain as active and hungry as ever. They swam to depths of at least 900 metres (3,000 ft) and then migrated south for the winter! Some ended up all the way down in Florida, but one actually crossed the equator and spent a month near the Amazon in Brazil. Looks like the entente with the Whale Sharks allows the Baskers to travel right underneath them!

It turns out that bits of those gill rakers are constantly falling out and being replaced, much like the teeth of less gentle sharks. As for the shrunken liver... perhaps the plankton down there simply isn't as good as the sun kissed stuff?

Whatever the case, it's pretty remarkable that it took until the 3rd millennium to discover that the second biggest fish in the world doesn't hibernate! A later study watched a Basking Shark cross the Atlantic, reaching depths of just over 1,200 metres (3,940 ft). The whole world seems to be their oyster!

It makes one wonder if this is a surface dwelling filter-feeding shark like the Whale Shark, but it dives to great depths for half the year, or is it more a deep sea filter-feeding shark like the Megamouth Shark, but it spends half the year at the surface? It seems that every patch of ocean has its own filter-feeding shark! Lucky ocean.

With all this travelling up and down the world, it's no wonder that we know so little of their mating habits.

You may well guess that reproduction is shrouded in yet more mystery. Only one pregnant Basking Shark has ever been caught. They are ovoviviparous, the eggs being retained and the unborn young possibly fed with loads of unfertilised eggs. This is a more traditionally sharky thing to do.

Image: yohancha via Flickr

Basking Sharks are usually seen alone but sometimes they can be in groups of several dozen. It looks like males and females don't consort with each other much, and perhaps spend most of the year miles apart. So that's a whole bunch of other stuff to find out!

For me, the weirdest thing about Basking Sharks is the fact that they breach. This gigantic, slow-moving monster can leap right out of the sea and make an almighty splash! It may well be some kind of communication.

It certainly communicates to me a reason to be cautious. Gentle giant they may be, but they are giant nonetheless. You don't want several tons of fish falling on your head. Old Basking Shark has enough crumbs to eat already.

Illacme plenipes, leggiest of them all!

2012-05-18T12:00:00.000+01:00

Illacme plenipes has more legs than any other animal! It's a millipede, of course. What else could it possibly be?

The strange thing is how tiny it is. We're talking scarcely more than 3 cm (1.2 in) long and about half a millimetre (0.2 in) wide. In this diminutive frame they pack some 750 legs!

Isn't that amazing? You'd think they'd have legs on their back, legs on their sides and legs on their legs... just pure legs everywhere! Instead it's a skinny but otherwise perfectly normal millipede. They just happen to be unbelievably leggy.

The females are, anyway. Males are somewhat less impressive, being half the length and struggling with a mere 300 or 400 legs. I guess a gentleman should never take the limelight.

Unfortunately, they don't actually have spotlights following everywhere they go. Neither are they weighed down by a shiny, gold medal around their minute neck. There's even a distinct lack of red carpets beneath their hundreds of feet. The wear and tear would be too great.

First discovered in 1926 in central California, these record breaking celebrities immediately took to the life of a recluse. They weren't rediscovered until 2005. They refused to be interviewed but consented to a brief photo shoot. Always leave your fans wanting more, right?

The Deepstaria enigma: Addendum

2012-05-17T13:56:00.001+01:00

The fine folks at MBARI have let us in on some more footage of that crazy Deepstaria jellyfish.

This time it looks elegant and majestic, still incredibly odd but not flailing around embarrassingly like a drunk in a really nice suit.

We also get to see our very own Big Red Jellyfish in action and another glimpse of the cascading oral arms of Stygiomedusa gigantea.

These are all big, deep sea jellyfish who lack tentacles, and so have had to find other ways of catching their food. It involves being really weird. Good!

Sarcastic Fringehead

2012-05-16T12:00:00.002+01:00

Image source

Sarcastic? Really? It may be "the lowest form of wit" but I certainly don't rise above a bit of sarcasm and I'm pretty sure my face is a little more deadpan when I indulge in such lowly pleasures.

This is the Sarcastic Fringehead. It's angry. Really angry. This is what happens when someone actually does blow their top.

Image source

Found on the Pacific coast of North America, the Sarcastic Fringehead is a kind of blenny. This is odd because blennies are usually small, shy, little things that keep themselves hidden away in crevices. This one is different.

They reach 30 cm (12 in) in length and while they still live in crevices and discarded shells, they're keen to leap out and scare the bejesus out of anything that encroaches on their territory.

This is when their special face is deployed. The ridiculously long maxilla bones in the upper jaw are extended outward to ensure their mouth can get just as grotesque as possible. If the cause of all this is another Sarcastic Fringehead, it will probably be doing exactly the same thing. It's their way of saying "hello, I'm sooooo pleased to meet you" *rolls eyes*.

If one of the rivals doesn't back down in horror at the sheer size of the other guy's gape (or the sudden realisation that they must look just like that), then passive aggression gives way to a face-fight as terrible mouth meets terrible mouth. Their faces are locked in combat like two naked and completely heterosexual Greek wrestlers.

Other creatures, including humans, receive the same treatment. If you're something that wasn't there when they last looked, you're in trouble. And if the face doesn't work, then the needle-like teeth are next. Some people use sarcasm as a kind of defence or attack. The Sarcastic Fringehead just uses its actual mouth. Which is sort of ironic.

Image: Ken Bondy via Flickr

This fury is of great use when the male is lumbered with the duty of protecting the eggs. The female lays them in a discarded shell or some other crevice. She then leaves because Sarcastic Fringeheads simply can't tolerate each other at all and it's better to part ways than inflict memories of that facial expression on the children.

All in all the Sarcastic Fringehead doesn't seem to be sarcastic at all. Then you might consider that "sarcastic" comes from a word that literally meant "to strip flesh", just as sarcophagus literally means "flesh-eating". I think whoever named this thing had a smile on his face. When it comes to wit, sarcasm isn't all bad.

Whale Shark

2012-05-13T12:00:00.001+01:00

Image: Rob Hughes via Flickr

It's the biggest fish in the world! It's a shark! But it's not a humongous meat eater. We really must be grateful for utterly gigantic mercies!

The thing with Whale Sharks is that it seems to get worse and worse the more you know.

For one, they're all over the place! Their range looks like a giant band across the central third of the entire world. The ocean bits, anyway. This encompasses all the tropical and subtropical waters. And many of the world's favourite holiday hotspots.

The biggest Whale Shark on record was 12.65 metres (41.5 ft) long and weighed more than 21.5 tonnes (47,000 lb). Then there are all the anecdotes of even bigger ones. Seriously though, 12 metres is enough. I could ~~live~~ fit in there!

I could also fit in their mouth. It's 1.5 metres (4.9 ft) across! Their whole body seems to be devoted to getting that gob as wide as possible. I hope their proud of the result. Add over 300 rows of teeth in each jaw and the implications are clear. If you go into the sea, inability to breath could be the very least of your troubles. It would be like walking around with your shoelaces untied when compared to the hungry BUS heading your way.

Except it isn't actually true. It's not a bus. It's a sub.

Image: jzielcke via Flickr

Alright, alright... it's a plankton eater. It swims around with its massive mouth massively open to catch tiny plant and animal food. Those teeth are puny and serve no apparent function whatsoever. They seem to be just a warning of what might have been.

The worst a Whale Shark will do is eat a small fish. Or maybe eating the eggs and sperm of a million spawning fish is even worse? Depends on your point of view, I suppose.

In any case, Whale Sharks are a kind of Carpet Shark. Most Carpet Sharks are bottom dwellers who eat molluscs and stuff from the ocean floor. Just like the Manta Ray, the Whale Shark has moved to the very surface of the sea in search of plankton and has grown huge as they did so.

But for the Whale Shark, "plankton eater" doesn't tell the whole story. They also eat fish and squid. Mostly small ones like sardines and such, but also larger ones that would look good on your own dinner plate. The difference here is that Whale Sharks don't just do the open-mouthed swimming thing. They can also be more proactive and suck in giant mouthfuls of water. Along with whatever was trying get away, of course.

Either way, the water then washes across the filter pads. The bits of food are heavy and go on to the throat, while the water goes out through the gills. It's a process called cross-flow filtration, which contrasts with dead-end filtration where the water goes straight through the filters like a sieve. The cross-flow method is much more efficient, so our Whale Shark can feed for longer without getting all clogged up.

Image: Marcel_Ekkel via Flickr

This is good because they travel for miles to find huge amounts of food. You know those amazing events where billions of tiny shrimp turn the sea pink for a couple of days? Whale Sharks love that stuff. Sometimes hundreds of them congregate to take advantage of the annual bounty.

So it's all quite relaxing for a Whale Shark. Travelling the world, meeting up every year here and there... There's not a great deal to worry about.

They're even docile around us puny humans, although one ought to bear in mind that they could probably hurt you pretty bad completely by accident. I bet they'd be docile about that, too. Maybe "unconcerned about the tiny thing" is more accurate.

Hey, you know who starts off tiny? Whale Sharks! One of the smallest ever measured was in the Philippines and just 38 cm (15 in) long! Being that tiny it was probably very recently born. This is a clue to learning more about Whale Sharks because despite their gargantuan size, no-one is quite sure where they breed or have pups.

Image: TANAKA Juuyoh (田中十洋) via Flickr

In fact, only after a female was caught in 1996 did people ascertain that they are ovoviviparous. That is, they produce eggs but retain them within the body where they later hatch. Mothers then give birth to live young. This particular female was pregnant with 300 pups! They would each be around 40 to 60 centimetres (16 to 24 in) long at birth.

It's thought that after one mating, females could produce a steady stream of youngsters for an extended period of time. Lifespan is estimated at 70 to 100 years.

Can you imagine if this was a goliath flesh-eater? This would all be extremely bad news! Luckily it's the friendliest submarine you'll ever meet. Just a little distance to prevent accidents and you'll be fine.

The Deepstaria enigma

2012-05-11T12:00:00.001+01:00

Isn't it terrible? You're fast asleep on your beautiful, satin sheets, indulging in a really scary nightmare. Perhaps it involves a guy getting bitten by a radioactive spider. The horror that ensues turns out to be quite unlike your friendly, neighbourhood Spiderman. But then the nightmare pops right out of your head, bites your beautiful, satin sheets, turns them into another nightmare and off they go together and disappear into the sea!

Those were some really nice sheets.

This is Deepstaria enigmatica, first described in 1967 after being found at a depth of about 725 m (2,380 ft). It's a jellyfish! But a rather strange one.

Utterly insensible! When people saw this video there were two chief suggestions for what on earth it is; jellyfish or whale placenta. But this thing is 1,560 m (5,225 ft) deep! We have humans who eat human placentas, we surely have surface dwelling fish and all sorts who eat whale placentas. We know that there are deep sea creatures who eat far worse. No. It's a jellyfish. We just have to understand what's going on here.

Bog standard Moon Jellyfish

So let's take the good, old fashioned Moon Jellyfish. It looks like an upside-down saucer, with tentacles around the edge and oral arms hanging from the middle. It has 4 gonads, seen as those circular things on the top.

Let's make it massive. Deepstaria are said to be one of those rare, deep sea jellyfish that can reach 30 to 70 cm (1 or 2 feet) across. Grow that bell so it goes from an upside-down saucer to an upside-down bowl. Then keep going until it's more like a right-way-up lampshade.

In other words:

Wait, that's not words... never mind.

Deepstaria are about as weak as they appear on the video. The bell is just too big and thin for the kind of muscular contractions that other jellyfish are capable of. That's why we see it wafting around like a plastic bag in the wind, even getting turned inside-out by the human activity going on down there. They usually have a little more dignity than that.

It's thought that they really act like a bag. Just sitting there, waiting. Their swimming activity probably does little more than stop them sinking. What they want is for prey to swim upward and get caught in the bell. Then they can shut it and set their stings to work. As prey struggles, they'll get stung repeatedly unto death.

As their food is digested it washes along the strange, mesh-like network which is their gastrovascular canal system. It looks like a fishing net, which is quite appropriate.

Oh, yeh...

Also they have weird looking gonads. At least they're quite unique among jellyfish, all of whom typically have weird looking gonads.

And that's the amazing thing; jellyfish are all ridiculously strange, yet a whole bunch of them are strange even on jellyfish terms. So strange that "whale placenta" sounds like a plausible, alternative explanation.

We at Real Monstrosities have long known of this phenomenon: if it looks like an internal organ, it's probably from the deep sea.

UPDATE: Great new video of Deepstaria in all its peculiar glory!

Red Cage Fungus

2012-05-09T12:00:00.001+01:00

Image: key lime pie yumyum via Flickr

A Demon strides toward you. He must be 9 feet tall, his hoofed feet effortlessly landing on the small lumps of rock that float atop the broiling lava. Tendrils of flame lick his flesh almost up to his knees, blackening his skin and burning away flecks of hair.

Above his knees and up to his waist is a thick mass of brown fur, matted, clumped and variously tinged with red and black. Above the waist his leathery skin is a sickly, almost celebratory orange. His eyes are completely black, but surrounded by a painful red as if irritated by the acidic fumes.

"You? You wish to fight for your freedom?"

You stare up at him, unable to speak.

"Are you ready for the Red Cage?"

Image: amadej2008 via Flickr

Clathrus ruber is a mushroom who shows us that even in the depths of Hell and evil, there is a strange beauty to be found. I bet Satan is really good with watercolours.

This fungus has an assortment of names; the Red Cage, Latticed Stinkhorn and Basket Stinkhorn. In some parts of Europe its name translates to Witch's Heart. In France it's called Coeur de Sorcière, Sorceror's Heart.

All very mystical! Aside from the Stinkhorn stuff. The Red Cage is indeed in the Stinkhorn family. It stinks. Mainly of rot and death.

Image: scott.zona via Flickr

The stench attracts flies.

mmmatthewww

Lots and lots of flies.

This is how they get their microscopic spores spread all over the place. Originally it was all in Europe, but they've since been introduced to just about every continent on Earth. It's like they wanted to be absolutely sure that this was a demon-haunted world.

The spore produces a mycelium, which is like a big bundle of roots for feeding on decaying, woody, plant stuff.

Image: Gencer Emiroglu

Next they produce a kind of egg which can be up to 6 cm (2.4 in) in diameter.

Image: Wikipedia

The egg hatches and something nasty peers out at the world for the first time.

The young stinker continues to grow and tear out of the confines of the egg, the remnants of which is known as the volva.

Image: Tomás Mazón via Flickr

The inner side of the latticework is covered in a sticky, olive-green slime called the gleba. This is the stuff that produces the nasty smell and contains all the spores. It attracts the flies, it sticks to the flies and it travels far and wide on the flies.

The Red Cage will eventually reach anywhere between 8 and 20 cm (3.1 and 7.9 in) tall and could be pink, orange or red. It finally collapses just 24 hours after emerging from the egg. Then it rots away. For real, this time.

Image: Juaninda (Juan Sevilla) via Flickr

Is it beautiful? Is it disgusting? Do all those flies spoil something that could otherwise be displayed right in the middle of your dining room table?

I'm simple. I just call it Monstrous!

You Sexy Tiger! Beetle

2012-05-06T12:00:00.001+01:00

Image: Ted C. MacRae, Beetle in the Bush

You can't possibly forget the Tiger Beetle! They were the fast-moving, wide-eyed, angry-faced predators who wore their cold, murderous hearts right on their sleeve. You see a Tiger Beetle and you immediately know it kills stuff. At least they're honest!

But a lot of them are remarkably attractive.

This one is so attractive it's known as the Festive Tiger Beetle. You can see why, right? It has a vibrant, emerald green head and thorax with deep ruby wing cases. Sort of like holly. And then it tops it all off with Santa's white beard!

Like most Tiger Beetles, Cicindela scutellaris is found in dry, sandy areas where they can more easily spot prey and run after it. This one in particular is found in numerous, separate parts of eastern and central United States.

Let's make this clear, I don't think these Tigers are trying to fool anyone. We all know Festive Tiger Beetle festivities will involve the death of many insects. I think on the contrary they're so proud of their vicious escapades that they want everyone to watch admiringly. Who am I to deny them their evil intent?

Image: bob in swamp via Flickr

Festive Tiger Beetle
It's yet another Festive Tiger Beetle! With such a big range they have lots of space for subspecies to develop. This one is Cicindela scutellaris unicolor, the name indicating that it's all one colour.

Here it's a beautiful, shining cobalt blue. Look at it there on the white, quartz sand. The world is her catwalk! Her legs are long and slim and she has quite a few of them, but she won't be tripping over them too easily. No. For her the problem would be if a fly or whatever managed to escape her gigantic mandibles. Oh no! I tried to murder but I failed to murder! How embarrassing!

Image: Lon&Queta via Flickr

Pseudoxycheila sp.
Here's another kind of blue, a darker, meaner blue. Two yellow spots add a bit of levity, but you can't laugh at a face like that. She is not amused! Anyone who misinterprets this flamboyance for a desire to be eaten (or laughed at) is subjected to the kind of stinky chemical that many Tiger Beetles can secrete.

Some suggest that this Central American beast could even be a mimic of certain stinging wasps, specifically velvet ants of the genus Hoplomutilla. I don't know... it wouldn't be a particularly convincing mimic. Then again, I imagine most Tiger Beetles would find it pretty difficult to pretend to be anything else. It's just so cool to be a Tiger Beetle!

Image: Ted C. MacRae, Beetle in the Bush

Blowout Tiger Beetle
Another one from the United States. Despite the impressive design all over his back, this isn't a big biker guy who suffered a blowout on his Harley. Or his Demonskull Firecycle or whatever. No, the blowout here is when the earth is so dry and sandy that the wind blows out a depression in the ground.

Basically, Cicindela lengi is a kind of Mad Max Tiger Beetle. Or Fallout Tiger Beetle. It strides through the heat and desperation of a world gone wrong and makes it worse through judicious use of killing. Imagine it walking away with those amazing wing cases wobbling in the heat haze. Amazing! Probably best if he's walking away from you after a nice, diplomatic chat over tea and biscuits.

Image: Ted C. MacRae, Beetles in the Bush

Coral Pink Sand Dunes Tiger Beetle
Whooooa! Remember when I said that other one had a bit of a beard? Forget about it! This is like Robin Williams playing the lead role in a film called The Wolfman! Hang on... OK. Lon Chaney Jr. or Benicio Del Toro in a film called The Wolfman.

This kind of hairiness is a rare sight, and the Coral Pink Sand Dunes Tiger Beetle is found only in a small area of south western Utah. It's an area known as the Coral Pink Sand Dunes State Park, so named for all the coral pink sand dunes.

They're also known as Cicindela albissima, which is a lot easier to say than Coral Pink blah blah blah...

virginiabugboy

If you're lucky enough to find C. albissima munching away on their latest catch, bring a tiny napkin along so you can lovingly wipe away the haemolymph and stray bits of leg from those luscious whiskers. I think it would be a very moving experience.

Image: Troup1 via Flickr

Neocollyris sp.
Lets get out of the arid sands and climb up a tree in Southeast Asia instead. Tiger Beetles of the genus Neocollyris are a little different from most. They're a lot more svelte than the others, with smaller jaws, a really thin thorax that looks like a neck and a much slimmer abdomen. And of course they're arboreal, spending their time in trees.

You'll be pleased to know that they retain an utterly furious facial expression to go along with their attractive, metallic sheen. This one also has legs that appear to be clad in boots and britches. Very fetching!

I don't want to be morbid, but doesn't that thorax look perfect for a pawn in a chess set? Maybe you could leave the head on and make it a bishop? A very angry bishop, of course.

Image: Bettaman via Flickr

Therates alboobliquatus
Did you find E.T. "cute"? If so, this may well be the adorable little Tiger Beetle for you. If instead you thought the haggard, pogo-necked abomination was an unholy alliance between The Mummy's Curse and a pair of binoculars, you might want to look elsewhere.

This controversial little blighter can be found in Taiwan. It shows us just how important it is for a Tiger Beetle to have excellent vision. Even if the eyes don't really fit on the head, they still must be there.

Image: wildxplorer via Flickr

Don't know
It comes from India, it's in Cicindela and it's probably related to something like C. virgula. Regardless, this is some remarkable colouration! I think we know by now that the iridescence comes almost as standard, that's just how a lot of Tiger Beetles roll. But check out those wing cases! The midnight blue, the deep orange with a wisp of rich green and lackadaisical white stripes. Gorgeous!

In fact, there's a slight feel of Easter to go along with the Christmas we started off with. Couldn't you just imagine it as a modern stained glass window?

Image: Ken-ichi via Flickr

Western Tiger Beetle
And if all that garish colour becomes too much for you then look no further than this fine example of Cicindela oregona. They're also known as the Oregon Tiger Beetle, but they can be found from Alaska all the way down to Mexico. So they're only partly Oregon because of how incredibly Western they are!

With this huge range they can afford a bit of variability. Some are green, others more olive or brown. I like the tasteful simplicity of this black one with it's elegantly curved markings. But I'm quite sure it wouldn't look so black in a different light, doubtless it would sparkle with a very dark brown. And if you see it from the side there is still iridescence on the legs and so on.

Another thing is that there is another very similar species easily confused with the Western Tiger Beetle. It bears the rather unhappy name C. depressula, the Dispirited Tiger Beetle.

Apparently it's named after the long, middle part of their markings. If you think of them as little legs, you will see that the Dispirited one's knee is significantly less knobbly. I guess this makes them very unhappy, and it certainly looks like the Western's markings are kicking up those heels with a lot more enthusiasm.

It's OK though. Once the Dispirited Tiger Beetle finds something to kill, successfully kills it and then eats it, they'll be just fine. Tiger Beetles are admirably uncomplicated like that.

Pauropod

2012-05-04T12:00:00.000+01:00

Image: David R. Maddison

These must surely be the most humble of all Myriapods.

There are people out there with pet centipedes, feeding them mice and smiling fiendishly at the resulting carnage.

There are others with pet millipedes, watching them eat vegetables and giggling with delight as countless legs crawl across their quivering skin.

But no one has a pet Pauropod.

There's a good reason for that: few would ever see it.

Pauropod is Greek for "small foot", and they certainly got that right. Pauropods are 0.5 to 2 millimetres (0.02 to 0.08 in) long, which is virtually nothing at all.

In this tiny body they pack 9 to 11 pairs of legs, a small myriad as Myriapods go. Their body has about as many segments, but some of the chunks of exoskeleton on their back are fused together so that it looks like there are fewer.

Aside from that, they are most closely related to millipedes and lead a similar life. The 700 or so species live in the usual, dark places; soil, leaf litter, under bark, moss and so on. They eat decaying organic matter. Some have strong mandibles to grind through solid food. Others look like they'd require something a lot more liquid.

With their tiny size they can afford to do without some stuff. Like eyes and a heart. Most don't bother with the trachea that other invertebrates use for breathing. Also they're quite soft, as in their exoskeleton just isn't particularly tough. This means they can really run and zip around like minute wild things.

Genetic Modification Proposal
But there are some other attributes that I think would be extremely popular among Myriapod pet enthusiasts. If only they could get them in something a little (a lot) bigger.

Their softness means they can stretch and shorten their body. Kinda ridiculous in something so puny.
They have one little extravagance. Branching antennae. They're almost like deer antlers, only you will neither impress nor horrify anyone if you put one on your wall.
After laying eggs in soil their hatchlings emerge with just three pairs of legs. They add new ones each time they moult.

If we could get that stuff on a big centipede or millipede it would at least triple the price for enthusiasts. We could make millions! But it's not on one of those. It's on a Pauropod. And if you need a magnifying glass to see it, it's probably not your pet.

Cirroteuthis

2012-05-02T12:00:00.000+01:00

Image: NOAA

Being big and strong is cool! But some things are bigger and stronger than you could ever be. Cirroteuthis shows us how to yield gracefully.

Cirroteuthis is a genus of octopus that contains one species, C. muelleri.

Image: NOAA

They're cirrate octopuses, which means they have a small internal shell and a pair of fins on their mantle. It also means they're related to old friends like the Dumbo Octopus and the Flapjack Devilfish.

But Cirroteuthis is a lot bigger than most other cirrate octopus, reaching about 1.5 metres (5 ft) long.

Image: NOAA

Despite this impressive size, they're not particularly strong. They live in freezing cold, northern waters and, oddly, off New Zealand. Then you have to go down to depths of 700 to 4,850 metres (2,300 to 15,900 ft) and hopefully you'll find one drifting just 10 metres (30 ft) above the ocean floor.

At this depth it just doesn't do to fight the pressure. You will be mercilessly crushed. Cirroteuthis is soft and gelatinous, fighting the ceaseless weight of miles of ocean by means of its own fragility.

Zoologist2007

Lining their webbed tentacles are the cirri, from which cirrate octopuses get their name. These are fleshy spines between the suckers which are thought to generate a current to usher small crustaceans toward their rather thin, weak beak.

Image: SERPENT Media Archive Project

For all that, they actually have pretty good eyes! With a fully functioning lens and everything. In such darkness it's difficult to see how they could be of any use at all. A defiant luxury in the gloom, perhaps...

Sturgeon

2012-04-29T12:00:00.000+01:00

Image: david.torcivia via Flickr

Sturgeon! With a T! Don't mix him up with a surgeon because this guy just isn't cut out for heart surgery; he has no proper backbone, no hands and I swear he needs glasses. Does he remind anyone else of Mole from The Wind in the Willows?

Image: Robertson, D Ross

Sturgeons are 20-something species in the family Acipenseridae. They are found in much of the northern hemisphere, right up to Siberia. Some of them are proper freshwater fish, living in lakes and rivers. Others are brackish, taking advantage of nutrient rich estuaries.

Most of them can also enter coastal marine waters. The Green Sturgeon for example, ranges from Mexico to Alaska to Russia to China.

Really, these adventurers have the kind of choice most fish could only dream of. And they use it, too. Make no mistake, these are active, roaming fish who can travel miles to find good eating. This is important when you consider the amount of food they'll need due to their sheer size.

Sturgeons range from pretty big to utterly massive. Smaller ones, like the Sterlet, are quite popular as pond fish because they slowly grow to only about 1 metre (3.3 ft) long. Others will commonly reach 2 or 3 times that.

Image: Kenneth Sturman

The biggest one is known as the Beluga. It comes from the Caspian Sea and can reach 5.5 metres (18 ft)! That's like three average Dutch men! Or three average women wearing whatever heels necessary.

Even more ridiculous is that a monster like that isn't even a record breaker. A seriously, amazingly huge Beluga is even bigger. An average Dutchman bigger. When it comes to buying fish for the aquarium or pond, never has it been more important to ensure you get the right species.

Sturgeons are ancient fish, living fossils even. They first emerged some 200 million years ago and have scarcely changed since. That's probably a good explanation for why they're so weird!

scubadivingbeardog

For example, they have no scales. Instead, they have five rows of bony plates called scutes running down their body.

Image: Yu Diving via Flickr

Despite being perhaps the world's oldest living ray-finned fish, they don't actually have bony skeletons. It's made of cartilage instead, like a shark.

In fact, they don't really have a proper backbone at all! It's one, long, continuous rod known as a notochord. All vertebrates have this at some point in their embryonic development and it gives us the phylum name "chordata".

Most of us get it broken into bits and ossified to form the bones of the vertebral column. Salps get rid of it entirely as they grow. Sturgeons leave it as is.

But there's another thing about the Sturgeon and its notochord. In other fish, the backbone stops at the base of the tail and then the fin rays extend symmetrically. Sturgeons are more like a shark outside and in.

Image: Yu Diving via Flickr

Their tail fin is asymmetrical, with a longer upper lobe than lower, as in sharks. Also, their notochord continues up to the tip of the upper lobe of the tail fin. Again, more like a shark. Also a bit like icthyosaurs, except they had backbone in the lower lobe instead.

There's one significant difference between your average shark and a Sturgeon, though...

Image: Frank Peters via Flickr

Sturgeons have no teeth! They really are quite old. At least it provides a reassuring limit on the size of food they can eat.

Image: Theron Trowbridge via Flickr

Sturgeons are carnivorous. They'll feed on pretty much any fish, mollusc, worm or crustacean they can swallow whole. Their rostrum, what I like to call the schnoz, is used to stir up the riverbed and reveal tasty nibbles.

Four barbels in front of the mouth detect the tell-tale signs of the edible. As with catfish, this allows them to survive in the murk and dirt at the bottom of lakes. Those tiny eyes are about as useful as their size suggests.

Not only are Sturgeons old as a whole, but individuals can also be really old. Some can live to be well over 100! This is quite a sensible and understandable age to human ears. Enough to be impressive, but it's not like 1,000 years or whatever. It just gets silly after that.

With that kind of lifespan it's probably not surprising that they take quite a while to reach sexual maturity, too. It differs from species to species and also due to temperature and food availability. When the going's good, some males may take just a few years, but some females could be nearing 30 before their first dalliance.

It's now that they'll migrate to their favoured river to spawn. And it can be quite a journey. One Yangtze Sturgeon was seen to travel 3,200 km (2,000 mi) from the Chinese coast to its favoured part of the Yangtze River.

exploreTeam

It sounds a bit like those salmon and it is, but there's a significant difference - they don't all die when they're finished. Sturgeons can spend several years out at sea between each spawning, feeding and preparing. You can really take your time when you live for over a century.

Image: Magalie L'AbbÃ© via Flickr

But who will they spawn with? This isn't as simple a question as it usually is. Sturgeons of one species can produce viable offspring with Sturgeons of other species, even ones in a different genus.

With all these perfectly fine hybrids around, you can imagine that it took quite a while for everyone to sort out how many species there actually were. But it gets worse...

Sturgeons are one of those animals that are deeply affected by their environment. The same species in different areas can grow to significantly different lengths, have a differently shaped rostrum and a different number of scutes on their skin. And with them venturing out and travelling for thousands of miles, they can find themselves all over the place. It all turns out to be a bit of a nightmare for the people who deal with that sort of thing.

Image: Joel Abroad via Flickr

Anyway, when all's said and done (or just done, Sturgeons don't say much) females lay their eggs. Depending on species, size and age there could be tens of thousands or several million of them. They're sticky such that they adhere to plants and the river bed. Or to your spoon. Yeh, these Grandma fish are a major source of ridiculously priced caviar. It's not the kind of thing you can smear on your toast in the morning.

Sturgeons probably aren't too triumphant about the monetary value of their unborn children. If all goes well, the eggs will hatch to reveal a ridiculous number of tiny Sturgeons. They grow quite quickly at first, maybe reaching about a metre (3.3 ft) in 5 or 10 years. By now they'll be big enough and strong enough to check out the estuaries and maybe even start investigating the sea.

But it'll be decades of slow growth before they become real Freshwater Leviathans.

Image: U.S. Fish and Wildlife Service - Midwest Region via Flickr

We all have to start somewhere.

Hooded Tickspider

2012-04-27T12:00:00.000+01:00

Image: Marshal Hedin

Armed with a remarkably thick exoskeleton and a host of other protective devises, Hooded Tickspider must surely be the most paranoid of all arachnids.

First of all, they're undercover. I mean, have you ever heard of them? Of course not! You'd have to be an extremely odd person to have heard of Hooded Tickspiders. You're not odd are you? You wouldn't admit to a thing like that, would you? Never mind.

They're also undercover in that they live in soil, leaf litter, bark and caves. Hidden, dark, easily overlooked places.

Another thing is that if you want to see one, you better be in the right part of the world. This isn't one of those "every continent except Antarctica" types. Hooded Tickspiders are only found in the humidity of western Central Africa and Central America. The rest of the world is all foreign. They do things differently over there and Hooded Tickspiders want nothing to do with it.

A Hooded Tickspider
(artist's impression)

They only reach up to 1 cm (0.4 in) in length, just to ensure that you forget all about them. It's like that guy next door who turned out to be a spy. "I never would have imagined.... he seemed so normal..."

It all worked so well that Hooded Tickspiders weren't discovered until the 1830s. It was a fossil. And it was thought to be a beetle.

This distrust has a cost. Or maybe it's the cause? There are only 60 or so known species of Hooded Tickspider, all in the order Ricinulei. Compare that to the order Scorpiones, with some 1,800 species. To say nothing of spiders. (More like 40,000!)

Of course, that's assuming none of the 400,000 described beetles are actually Hooded Tickspiders in disguise. With these elite agents, such an assumption may be unwise...

In any case, let's take a closer look at those defences. Just how paranoid are they?

Adam H Katona
A Hooded Tickspider, yesterday
(artist's impression)

We'll start with the hood. This thing is lowered over the mouthparts and has to be lifted up come dinner time. It's like one of those old helmets except it doesn't have eye holes. Hooded Tickspiders don't have eyes, just light sensitive areas on the sides of the head. Eyes are a sign of weakness.

Those aforementioned mouthparts are pincer shaped affairs, unlike spider fangs but akin to many other arachnids. They also have pedipalps which look like really tiny scorpion claws. They use them to manipulate prey such as termites and other small invertebrates. Both the pedipalps and the mouthparts are armed with all manner of sensory organs for tasting food before they commit to eating it. You can never be too careful...

Image: Marshal Hedin

Hooded Tickspiders scout ahead using their extra-long second pair of legs. So they slowly lumber along in their thick armour, seeking out prey. When they find something, they grab it with their pedipalps, open up the hood and bring it toward their mouthparts. They can even drop their hood down again to ensure a strong hold as their mouthparts set to work.

Then there's the chastity belt.
(I like learning things, but I'm not sure I should have Googled that).

Here's the thing: arachnids are divided into two parts, a cephalothorax and an abdomen. This is most notable in spiders, but it's the case for all of them even if the two parts are fused together into one big one.

Hooded Tickspiders are no different, except that their two parts are locked together. They aren't fused like a Harvestman, they're still distinct and separate with flexibility in between. But there's a complex mechanism that links them together. And beneath it, are the sexual organs.

It means that in order to mate, both males and females have to unlock themselves. The male then scoops up his spermatophore using his third leg (literally...) for the female to take away with her. Females carry the eggs in her hood, right in front of her face! Not keeping her eyes on them, she doesn't have any. So... keeping her sensory mouthparts on them, I suppose.

Clearly, she would never trust any babysitter. Her hatchlings even have 6 legs instead of the 8 they will later hvave when they grow and moult. They're BORN undercover agents!

I also have to inform you that the pictures here depict a Hooded Tickspider called Cryptocellus goodnighti. Isn't that a wonderful name? How sweet! How delightful! How... suspicious.

Basket Star

2012-04-25T12:00:00.000+01:00

Image: Nick Hobgood

What on Earth is going on here? There must be a million creatures in there! Or at least one of those crazy corals that are actually composed of millions of creatures.

Nope. This is one, solitary Basket Star. She looks hungry!

Image: Derek Keats via Flickr

Basket Stars are a group of exceedingly peculiar Brittle Stars. If you thought Brittle Stars were like strange starfish, well... it only gets stranger.

Image: NOAA
You get your colours where you can in the deep sea

They're found all over the world, but most of them live in the deep sea. The world's biggest Brittle Star is actually a Basket Star. It reaches 70 cm across when you include the arms, 14 cm if you only count the central disc.

They're in the order Euryalida, same as the Snake Stars we saw before. It's up to you whether Snakes are simplified Baskets or Baskets are complicated Snakes. Either way it all looks pretty complicated, so what's actually going on here?

Image: Ria Tan, wildsingapore.com

Basket Star have 5 arms sprouting from their central disc, same as any Brittle Star. But madness immediately ensues. Each arm branches out over and over and over again until you end up with a kind of mesh, the basket. These are incredibly flexible tendrils, just like the Snake Star's unbranched arms.

One interesting thing is that Basket Stars have a covering of leathery skin on their arms. If you happen to be a heartless monster, you could tear it off and expose the vertebrae-like ossicles beneath.

Image: NOAA
Hanging out on a good ol' Sea Fan

So they crawl up a sponge or coral, or maybe just rest on the ground. Whatever they need to get an adequate current.

Image: Derek Keats via Flickr

Unfurling that ridiculous kerfuffle of arms forms the basket so they can catch their prey. Some of them eat plankton, others will grab hold of small crustaceans and coil their tendrils around them in a horror movie sort of way.

Image: Ed Bierman via Flickr
Look closely and you can see the tiny hooks

The arms are... armed... with spines and hooks which look seriously nasty close up. Along with the tube feet and mucus (nature's WD-40), they ferry food along to the mouth in the central disc. Still a horror movie.

Scubaman5000

If the current is too much for them they'll curl up to avoid getting swept away. The ones that live in shallower depths also do that during the day, because they only come out at night. Just like a horror movie. Also...

Image: prilfish via Flickr

Sometimes they look like a pile of unwanted viscera as they snooze their coiled and curled days away. It's just like a horror movie!

Image: owenwangensteen via Flickr
Searching for the stars

But then you see them in a different light and leathery skin turns to silk and the arms become ivy and ferns in the darkness of night. These creatures are an amazing mixture of delicate beauty and obnoxious fleshiness. Just like humans, it all depends on what time of day you find them.

Caecilian

2012-04-22T12:00:00.000+01:00

Image: teague_o via Flickr

It's that time again, everyone! When we sit back and relax, kick off our shoes and put our feet up, only to realise we could be doing so much more.

Arms and legs... aren't they mostly just stressful? Are they not impediments to true peace of mind? Don't all relaxation techniques centre on forgetting those tyrant limbs and realising your inner snake?

That's what Caecilians seem to think!

And I'm not talking about Sicilians. Those Mafia guys remove limbs for completely different reasons and they tend not to be relaxing at all.

Caecilians are some 200 amphibians of the order Gymnophiona, found throughout tropical regions like South America, Africa and Southeast Asia.

Image: Henk Wallays

These are the most mysterious and understudied of all the amphibians. You might remember that a whole new family was discovered just recently, hidden underground all this time.

Caecilians are fossorial, or burrowers. This virtually guarantees weirdness. And they don't disappoint.

We'll start with the obvious. It's a tetrapod, but it has no... pods!

Caecilians are yet another example of how legs just get in the way when you're digging through the earth. Earthworms, perhaps the world's foremost rock star burrowers, are the diggers that all others seek to emulate. Caecilians go a step further than most by having folds on their skin to look even more like a segmented worm. Best form of flattery, right?

They can also be long and slender like a worm or much more thick and stout. Either way, most Caecilians don't actually have a tail. Its all body! And if a tail is present it will be extremely short.

Shiripuno

The smallest Caecilians are some 7 cm (2.4 in) long. Even that's comparable to an average earthworm! The biggest ones, though, can reach 1.5 metres (5 ft)! Pretty darn big! But we know that some earthworms can stretch to twice that. Being able to find out weird things like that is probably the main thing that makes the torment of arms and legs worthwhile.

Image: Sean Michael Rovito

The other thing one might confuse Caecilians for are snakes. People who hate snakes might even find that Caecilians are even more snaky than actual snakes. Why? Because snakes aren't wet and slimy but Caecilians are.

Like most amphibians, Caecilians need to keep moist so that they can breathe through their skin.

A couple Caecilians don't even have lungs, and one of those is over 80 cm (2.6 ft) long and the biggest lungless tetrapod in the world! That particular species also has its nostrils sealed up and internal, just to make sure. Seriously, when a Caecilian is done with a body part, they are utterly ruthless!

Anyway, most Caecilians breathe via their skin, mouth and lungs. It's quite an array. Clearly lack of limbs doesn't imply lack of choice.

Image: Henk Wallays

So what's life like for a Caecilian?

Well, while there are a few who are aquatic, most of them only ever burrow through the earth and are seldom seen above ground.

They have extremely tough, bony skulls to help them bulldoze soil out of the way. These brain boxes are incredibly solid, with various parts fused together and scarcely any spaces or gaps anywhere.

And then their skin is fused directly onto the bone! It prevents any terrible "rip and tear" accidents as they push through the soil. Also they're not in a constant state of Chinese burn everywhere they go.

Aside from nostrils to fill those lungs, another gap in the skull is for the eyes. Caecilians don't really use them though. Eyes are kept under the skin, under bone or are absent entirely. When they're there at all, they can only really discern light from dark. For an underground animal, that's basically home from not-home.

Image: Wikimedia
The white patch between eye and nostril
is the retracted tentacle

Far more important, and unique among tetrapods, are their tentacles. They have two small, retractable tentacles between the nostrils and eyes. They enhance the sense of smell so they can find stuff to eat like termites, slugs, earthworms (cannibal!) and beetle pupae. They're so important that they occupy their own holes in the skull. They even use muscles and other structures that would otherwise be part of the eyes. These guys don't see in the dark at all. No need for carrots.

Speaking of muscles, this seems to be a problem presented by their incredibly solid skull. They could've ended up as slack jawed yokels, simply lacking the space for mouth-closing muscles! OK, it's not that bad, but the jaw muscles we all use are reduced and weakened in Caecilians. They're answer is to repurpose a whole other muscle, ensuring a strong bite. Caecilians are unique in having two sets of muscles for closing the jaw.

Armed with this MacGyver solution (deh-deh deeeeeh) large Caecilians can catch and eat lizards and frogs, killing them in the process. Something MacGyver would never do. He would've found a way to eat them without killing them, before escaping on the wave of an explosion that doesn't kill anyone.

Image: Museum of Comparative Zoology, Harvard University
Backward reclining teeth

Adult Caecilians have backward reclining teeth that can be sharp and dual-cusped, perfect for keeping a strong grip. Coupled with the same kind of toxic skin glands that many salamanders and frogs have, and you can see that Caecilians are a little more painful than any earthworm.

Thing is, baby Caecilians have teeth too, but really weird ones. In fact, Caecilians are altogether extremely peculiar when it comes to breeding.

Here's another bit of uniqueness from the Caecilian. Other amphibians have a cloaca, an all-purpose, posterior evacuation point for absolutely everything (EVERYTHING). This is the same for most birds. What I mean to say is... no penis. :(
But Caecilians are unique among amphibians in that they can evert their cloaca to form a makeshift penis. Better than nothing, I suppose. Maybe that's what they traded their limbs for? Totally worth it!

Alright, yeh. Females are involved, too. They don't appear to make any effort to grow a penis. They have other things to worry about.

Image source
Larval Caecilian with gills.

Most Caecilians lay eggs which the mother will guard. Sometimes what emerges is a larval Caecilian. It has gills and lives in water, just like salamanders. Others will skip that and metamorphose within the egg so that a small version of the adult hatches out.

Some Caecilians do something a little more horrible.

The egg hatches and what comes out looks quite a lot like the adult, but it can't actually look after itself. Its bones and muscles are just too weak.

For other creatures, this is where beautiful things happen. Adorable young mammals suckle from mother and a loving bond is established. Or grim looking bird chicks shriek until mother lovingly regurgitates partially digested caterpillars into their gaping cakeholes.

Baby Caecilians are different. They eat their mother's skin.

globalzoo

This is unique! It's actually not uncommon for amphibians to eat their own shed skin, to say nothing of insects and such. It's a little difficult to imagine for we who shun our own spittle if we see it, and yet are in a constant state of drinking saliva when we don't see it. That's the kind of thing we don't normally think about. But feeding your skin or saliva to someone else? That's different. That, dear reader, is love.

Baby tooth!

And because mother loves her little ones, her specially grown maternal skin is rich in fat and nutrients and regrows every few days. And because youngsters are ungrateful little... anyway, they have strange, complex teeth, perhaps blunt, perhaps hooked, but all for scraping and tearing off reams of skin to chow down.

But then you have the ones that give birth to live, well developed young. Uh oh. There's no placenta here. Caecilians don't have a belly button. The living unborn are instead armed with special teeth. And they use them to feed on a special lining of their mother's oviduct. It's all very... special.

On the one hand it's also utterly disgusting. On the other... isn't it amazing the lengths a mother will go to find a way to provide for her young? I should point out that mother Caecilian survives to do it all over again later. But... I guess getting your skin eaten isn't quite the ultimate sacrifice. Kinda high up, though isn't it?

Red Paper Lantern Jellyfish

2012-04-20T12:00:00.000+01:00

It's a beautiful red paper lantern! It comes from the sea but don't worry, it has a protective covering so it won't get wet.

This is Pandea rubra, the Red Paper Lantern Jellyfish. They live in the more northerly parts of the Atlantic and Pacific Oceans as well as the Southern Ocean. Around Japan, they've been found at impressive depths of 450 to 1000 metres (1,475 to 3,280 ft).

They reach around 10 or 15 cm (4 to 6 in) long not including 15 to 30 tentacles which can get several times longer.

Image source

As they squish themselves up to swim, the red stuff within the gelatinous bell crumples up and concertinas just like a real paper lantern!

Many deep sea creatures are attracted to this hydroid jellyfish, but not simply because it looks lovely. They actually move in! Possibly because because it looks so lovely.

Not only have amphipods been found living on the Red Paper Lantern Jellyfish, but also male and female Sea Spiders carrying eggs and whole groups of other, tiny jellyfish. This is a highly desirable residence!

But the Red Paper Lantern Jellyfish also returns the favour. Do you remember how jellyfish have a polyp stage that usually attaches itself to a surface? Well, what do you do if you may never see the sea floor in your entire life?

The Red Paper Lantern Jellyfish has a solution. Their polyps live on the shell of a surface dwelling Sea Butterfly. And I mean ONE. They only accept the shell of one particular species called Clio recurva!

I guess when you're providing a luxuriant home for so many other creatures, you can afford to be choosy about your own housing.

This is an amazing glimpse into how surface and deep waters link together. It's also amazing to see how a jellyfish, not exactly terra firma, serves as home for all sorts of things that require a surface to live on.

But of course, there is the old problem of ocean acidification. This limits access to carbonate ions, the very things that Sea Butterflies need to build their shells. Perhaps the Red Paper Lantern Jellyfish can't afford to be so choosy after all?

Port Jackson Shark

2012-04-18T12:00:00.001+01:00

Image: Wikipedia

Whoa! These teeth have a lot of explaining to do! I sure hope they have a good excuse.

Image: Wikimedia

We're talking about the Port Jackson Shark, a nocturnal, 1.4 metre (4.6 ft) or more shark whose range almost circumnavigates the Australian coast. They migrate north in the winter - they're not so far from Antarctica after all - but they're not found on the northern coast. Port Jackson itself is in the east, where the Sydney Opera House is. Also Sydney Harbour. And Sydney.

Image: Wikimedia

Port Jacksons are closely related to our very own California Horn Shark. Members of this group are called Bullhead Sharks because of their great, big heads. Not so much for the horns on their two dorsal fins, but they have those, too. Their genus is named Heterodontus, meaning "different teeth".

Image: Wikimedia

It's not that their teeth are different from other sharks, although they are, it's that they have two different kinds of teeth in their mouth. The front ones are small and sharp. The back ones are flat and smooth. It's like us with our incisors and molars, but it seems a little fancy for a shark. I thought row upon row of serrated fangs was serving them quite well? Sharks on the telly are surrounded by enough blood that I thought they would be quite gratified with their performance.

Image: richard ling via Flickr

As you can imagine, the Port Jackson teaches a lesson to us humans about what a good set of molars can really do. They don't chew through apples. They crush the shells of things like sea urchins, oysters and crabs. They can eat fish as well, but I think really they prefer a good crunch. Sort of like a nice, crunchy apple. It's just that their *CRUNCH* is significantly more impressive than our crunch.

ThierryRakotoarivelo

They can also breath while they eat or relax on the seafloor. This is unlike most sharks who need to keep swimming with their mouth open to push water over their gills. Port Jacksons are different in that on either side, they have a fancy gill that can pump water over the other four gills.

Image: Wikimedia

This amazing ability to sit around doing absolutely nothing sees a lot of use in the breeding season.

Image: Wikimedia

Come the winter months, Port Jackson Sharks migrate north and groups can be seen hanging out around caves and ledges. They're probably whispering and giggling together, wondering how to spend their time so far from home.

Image: Wikimedia

The result is an egg which looks like a warning to others. Thankfully, they're soft when first laid and mother can jam them into rock crevices before they harden. It will be up to a year before they hatch.

Image: PacificKlaus via Flickr

Youngsters are about 25 cm (10 in) long when they first emerge. Like human babies, they eat a lot more soft foods than adults. The reason is completely different, though - their front teeth are even more sharp and pointed than their parent's are. Good thing this isn't the case for humans. People seem to have enough trouble controlling temper tantrums as it is.

The Dino's Toes

2012-04-15T12:00:00.000+01:00

Image: marttj via Flickr

It doesn't matter how pretty a bird is. how vibrant the colours, how flowing the feathers, how sweet the song. If you take a look at their feet you will see scales and claws.

Some, like this Red Tailed Hawk, have particularly clawsome claws. These are the talons of the bird of prey, the chief weaponry of eagles, hawks, buzzards and falcons.

The Red Tailed Hawk comes from North America and is fairly small as raptors go, reaching little more than 50 cm (20 in) long with a wingspan two or three times that.

But those evil talons! They don't have to be big to hurt! They curve with a cruel grace from powerful toes. Four toes, like most birds, with three pointing forward and one back.

It all allows them to pounce on prey with terrible speed and power, sometimes killing outright through shock and broken bones. Then, they can pick the prize right up and fly off to a quiet spot to eat, where they'll use those feet to hold down the body while they tear strips off using the beak.

These are very strong tootsies!

So, along with all that other dinosaur stuff like feathers and wishbones let's go looking for dinosaur feet! After all, therapod is Greek for "beast feet".

Image: David Blank

Indian Peafowl
Ahhh! The lovely Peacock. Such is the name of a male Peafowl. The females are Peahens and their young are Peachicks. I don't know what the deal is with peas. At least it's not flesh, right? I mean, this is surely the complete opposite of those terrible raptors, isn't it?

You may be forgiven for thinking so when the male distracts you with his astonishing plumage. But this one isn't doing that. This one is displaying his reptilian leg.

The truth is, Peacocks like a bit of meat with their berries and grain. They do actually kill and eat rodents, lizards and snakes. This actually surprised me, they just don't look the type. They don't look like they'd get themselves into brawls either, but they do. And, like the males of many other pheasants, they come armed.

Protruding from the leg, just above the foot, is his spur. It's a horny, spiked growth for use in fights. The same kind of thing so many cockerels have. Make no mistake, this Peacock is one mean customer. It's good he's so nice to look at. That way we won't turn our back on him.

Image: Wikimedia

Blue-footed Booby
Err... it's certainly blue footed, anyway. Actually Booby comes from the Spanish for "stupid", because these are seabirds who don't look too clever when they're trying to stroll across land. I'm no fashion expert... are blue suede shoes "in"? How clever is their sense of style? I have no idea!

In actual fact these amazingly vibrant feet are similar to the Peacock's tail. In males, they're really bright when they are well fed and in good condition, but they get duller when he's not having such a great time. It means that females, who have almost equally blue feet, can select her mate with confidence.

This is why males have to dance for their lady, raising his head and stamping his feet to show off his health and vigorously full belly.

If it works, they'll nest on various islands in the Pacific. Flying up before diving into the sea, they'll swim around with their webbed feet to pluck fish from the ocean. You can even see that their 4th toe has moved from behind the foot to the side to provide yet more webbing.

Image: TexasEagle via Flickr

American Coot
Clearly, Coots have a completely different sense of style. These are more like comfortable sports shoes. You can practically see the Nike tick! I just hope they're not going to job interviews in those things.

We've seen Coots before, pointed at their balding head and gawped at their chicks. Here we see their astonishing and somewhat ridiculous feet. They have long, strong toes and the three front ones are lobed. This gives them all they need for their multifaceted lifestyle. They can swim even without the webbed feet of a duck and they can also walk with confidence across mud, uneven land and vegetation.

Good footwear is a rambler's best friend.

Image BorisWorkshop via Flickr

Pheasant-tailed Jacana
Whoa! Did I say the Coot had long toes? THESE are long toes! What's that noise? Is that Freddy Krueger crying?

These magnificent tootsies belong to the Jacana, a family of wading birds who prefer to walk atop floating water lilies and other vegetation. Those spectacular feet spread their weight so they don't immediately sink. The back toe is not as long as the other three, but you can see how they have an extra specially long claw to compensate.

This particular species comes from India and Southeast Asia, feasting on insects and such. That's when they're being watched, anyway. I could easily imagine them using those skeletal limbs to pluck out the still beating hearts of mortals.

Seriously, it's lucky the rest of this bird looks so much like a bird. The Aye-aye got a lot of trouble for having just one horrible digit on each hand. This one is getting away with eight terror toes!

Image: Wikipedia

Red-legged Seriema
Ouch! I hate it when I stub my toe, too. Or is it the terrible claw of Deinonychus?

Actually it's the terrible claw of a South American predator called the Red-legged Seriema. They're fast, long legged birds who reach up to 90 cm (35 in) tall. They can fly when they want to but are predominantly ground dwelling, which is probably why their fourth toe is so small and apparently useless. It's also why they keep to open areas where there aren't too many trees to get in the way of their activities. Their horrifically brutal activities.

Seriemas prey on all sorts of insects, snakes, lizards, frogs and rodents. If their victim refuses to die, they'll pick it up and smash it against rocks. Sick. They'll even do it to plastic ones! Just use your imagination and the true horror will fall upon you and reduce you to tears.

But what of the claw? Well, if prey is too big to be swallowed whole it will have to be torn to bits. Remember how the birds of prey held food down with their feet and tore it up with their beak? Seriemas don't have such powerful feet, so they hold it down with their beak and tear it up with that special claw. Keeping it above the ground like that ensures it remains sharp and deadly.

Image: Wikipedia

Upland Moa
What on earth has happened here? This is some significant foot trouble. A lot worse than a stubbed toe. This needs more than a doctor. This needs Saint Servatus, Patron Saint of foot problems!

This rude extremity is the foot of an Upland Moa, the last surviving species which went extinct around 1500. Like other Moas they were a large, flightless bird from New Zealand. This particular species lived on the South Island and reached some 1.3 metres (4.3 feet) in height.

Their feet look utterly fearsome! Robust toes and huge claws. They also had feathers right down to their ankles, which perhaps kept them warm since they could live pretty high up mountains.

Despite being herbivores, they must have been extremely impressive creatures. It's amazing that we have these strange, mummified remains around. If only feet could talk. The stories they would tell...

Image: Wikipedia

Ostrich
Holy moley! We're gonna need the big guns for this one! That's right, a whole other Patron Saint of foot problems - Saint Peter the Apostle himself!

This is a truly ridiculous foot! The Ostrich seems to have lost two and a half toes somewhere along the way. All that's left is one giant toe with a huge claw and one small one with no claw. This isn't at all what you'd expect from the biggest bird in the world!

And yet we all know that this 2.75 metre (9 ft) tall inhabitant of the African savannah is quite nifty on its gigantic toe. Ostriches are the fastest animals on two legs, attaining a top speed of 70 km/h (43 mph). And if any predators manage to gain on them the Ostrich can turn around and reveal another use of that mega-toe. A well placed kick from an Ostrich is capable of killing pretty much any predator in Africa!

All this from a tiny-headed herbivore who eats only the occasional grasshopper! It seems that toes just get in the way of good running. I think horses would agree!

Image: Wikipedia

Emu
Wait! Isn't that a... a.... DINOSAUR!

That depends on how you take your word "dinosaur". If you reckon your dog is a kind of mammal, related to lots of other species of mammal, some living, some extinct then yes; this Emu could well be a kind of dinosaur, related to lots of other species of dinosaur, some living, some extinct. The same can be said of all birds. But not so many birds showcase dinosaur feet like this one!

The Emu is the second tallest bird in the world and the biggest in its range across Australia. They stand 2 metres (6.6 ft) tall and can stride 2.75 metres (9 ft) with each footstep. Those legs are incredibly powerful as well as long. An angry Emu is part comical, part intimidating, but all danger. It's a like that bit at the end of (the true) Karate Kid, except that guy remained alive after getting kicked in the head.

Another weird thing about Emus is they have tiny wings with a claw on the end. Seriously, these guys want to go back to the good old days!

You whipper snappers don't even know you're born!

Garden Centipede

2012-04-13T12:00:00.001+01:00

Image: Wikipedia

It looks like a centipede.

But softy soft names like
"Pseudocentipede",
"Garden Centipede" and
"Glasshouse Symphylan"
should give you a clue.

It eats like a millipede.

And yet it's neither.

Welcome to the secret underbelly of Myripoda!

Myriapods are those arthropods with a stupidly huge number of legs. Basically the ferocious centipedes and docile millipedes. We've already seen some of them, and it was interesting how the biggest centipedes and the biggest millipedes are both about 30 cm (a foot) long.

A big Garden Centipede, and I mean a really big one, is about 1 cm (0.4 in) long.

Image: David R. Maddison

They are members of the class Symphyla, with about 200 species found in soil all over the world.

There are a few who live in caves and some adventurous souls even live up trees, but most occupy traditional creepy-crawly venues under rocks and between the very particles of soil.

Unlike most centipedes and millipedes they have no eyes at all, relying instead on their long antennae. They also don't have the terrible stings and toxins of centipedes, since almost all of them eat soft, decaying vegetation.

There is one psychopath who is predatory, feasting on tiny arthropods and nematode worms, but the biggest trouble any Symphylan causes is to agriculture, by eating seeds and roots. I'm sure this pains the associated farmer, but REAL centipedes can be a REAL pain in the arse. These little fellows are so unassuming they don't even have pigments in their exoskeleton, so they look translucent.

Image: Biopix: JC Schou

Two interesting things about their legs. One; they are adamant about having 12 pairs of legs. Species don't range all over the place like millipedes for example, who can have anywhere between a few dozen and several hundred legs.

Also interesting is that when the eggs hatch, baby Symphyla have 6 pairs of legs! As they grow and moult over the course of several years, they increase the numbers until they reach the requisite 24 total legs.

Extra legs? Now that's a birthday present!

Peacock Flounder

2012-04-11T12:00:00.000+01:00

Image: nashworld via Flickr

How can a fish gone so horribly wrong do so remarkably well?

The Peacock Flounder is one of those fish who finally prove that good looks is totally optional.

Sure you got your baby faced dolphins, your streamlined swordfish and your impressive sharks, but lying on the floor beneath them all is something that appears to have lost a battle with a gigantic shoe.

It goes by the name Bothus mancus, Peacock Flounder and most fun of all, Flowery Flounder. Flowery Flounder! The flat, Flowery Flounder flops and flails on the floor. How flippant!

Image: HorsePunchKid via Flickr

I'm guessing they get both of their common names from the blue spots which look a bit like flowers and perhaps like the blue eyes on peacock feathers.

The thing is, you'd be hard pressed to actually see those blue spots (but hopefully not as hard pressed as they are). Peacock Flounders are the complete opposite of peacocks and flowers. This is no exhibitionist, this is the chameleon of the fish world.

Image: zatiqs via Flickr

The first thing you'll notice is just how much work it takes to notice them. Despite a length of up to 45 cm (18 in), Peacock Flounders are able to disappear into the surrounding sand or rock of their shallow, Indo-Pacific home. They do it with their naturally spotted, speckled and mottled patterns, but they can also change colour in seconds to fully blend in. Going from vibrant blues to light, sandy hues is no problem, and they can even get different parts of their body to be different colours.

Their ambition is such that they will even have a go at disappearing into a chessboard! With those black squares, it's clear how the Peacock Flounder looks around to imagine the pattern beneath their own body. And they're really good at it, too!

Dskillins

Another aid to going unseen is that they are amazingly flat, but in completely the wrong way. They're lying down on their right side with both eyes on their left side. This is appalling! Baby flounders look like normal fish but their right eye has to move up to the other side of their face as they grow up. And to think that people complain of being confused when they were teenagers! At least you roughly knew where your eyes were pointing. Even if some other bits were a little more wayward.

Image: Wikimedia
The closely related Bothus lunatus.
Almost exactly the same, only from the Atlantic.

And those peepers don't get out of the chameleon comparison either. They bulge out of the head and can move independently of each other. Peacock Flounders can look forward and backward all at once. This is good stuff for checking out the colours are required for camouflage.

Indeed, while they have 360 degree vision when both eyes are working, they don't have it in each individual eye. So if one eye can't see for any reason, the Peacock Flounder will have real difficulty in sorting out their camouflage. This is why their eyes have to be bulbous enough to stick out above the sand. Sometimes, beauty must be sacrificed for life. Like running out of a burning building even though your hair is a mess.

IndigoDiversGC
Music by Saint Privat. I think I've instantly become a fan.

The Peacock Flounder must make do without a long, sticky chameleon tongue. They got a sideways mouth, though! That's something, right? Yeh. Something. Camouflaged from predator and prey alike, and with eyes continually on the look out, Peacock Flounders simply pounce on small fish and crustaceans. They really didn't see it coming.

They'd probably see their eggs though. Females release up to 3 million of them! With numbers like that, it's pretty clear that youngsters are left to get on with their lives. Baby flounders float around for several months, travelling on the currents. Eventually they'll realise that one of their eyeballs has moved to the wrong side of their head and settle down on the ocean floor. Trading the traditional idea of "fish" for something strange and amazing. Bargain!

An Amazingly Hairy Velvet Mite

2012-04-10T12:00:00.000+01:00

Image: ~Squil~ via Flickr

Whoa! Who invited Robinson Crusoe to the party? This Velvet Mite isn't velvet at all! It's more like one of those shaggy, wool rugs. Looks really difficult to keep clean, too.

It was pictured in south east Australia and that's the sum total of what I know about it. Aside from the fact that I still want to snuggle and wuggle.

A Yellow Polka Dot Velvet Mite

2012-04-09T12:00:00.000+01:00

Image: teejaybee via Flickr

It's a yellow polka dot Velvet Mite! And it has unusually chunky legs. I know absolutely nothing else about it!

I can only assume it's part of some kind of travelling circus, setting up tent with performing fleas and the Amazing Bearded Ant to bring delight and wonder among watching arthropods. You know when crickets chirp at night? It's a round of applause! Clearly.

Giant Red Velvet Mite

2012-04-08T12:00:00.000+01:00

Image: Ted McCrae

Awwww! Look at the cuddly-wuddly little teddy bear! Don't you just want to get in there and snuggle and wuggle? I know I do!

Image: tonrulkens via Flickr

In one sense, this automotive sedan chair is tiny, reaching a maximum of 2 cm (0.8 in) long. In another sense they're huge! 100 times bigger than most other mites.

By far the most famous of these mega-mites is the Giant Indian Velvet Mite, Trombidium grandissimum. There are lots of other Velvet Mites around the world, all comprising the Trombidiidae family and reaching a whole range of sizes.

However, only the Indian one is graced with dozens of common names that translate to things like Rain's Insect, Scarlet Fly and Bride of the Seafarer. Sounds like this living plushie is named for romance!

Image: Tarique Sani

The Giant Indian Velvet Mite comes from where it says it does, particularly in dry areas. Loads of them pop up from the soil after the monsoons and can be seen scrambling around all over the place like lovely walking pillows. But like most pillows, they have a cold, dark side. They are arachnids, after all!

Velvet Mites are predators, feasting on other invertebrates and their eggs by way of their strong, pincer-like mouthparts. They're pretty good at keeping the pests off your plants, but they don't rise above a bit of cannibalism, too. They have 2 puny eyes at the end of stalks but they probably find prey by sensing chemicals and vibrations.

onceIhadalove
Out for a nice, relaxing walk.

It's back to fluffy romance when it comes to mating rituals, where the male and female do a little circling dance together. He also makes a silk path along the floor to lead his lady to a deposited spermatophore. Utterly charming! Unless a rival male discovers it first. He'll tear up the spermatophore and drop his own instead. They call it love and war.

Unfortunately there isn't much charm to be seen in a baby Velvet Mite. After eggs have been laid in soil and a couple months have passed, a strange lifecycle begins.

Image: Wikimedia
Harvestman accidentally babysitting a larval Velvet Mite

What first emerges from the egg is a larval Velvet Mite. It has 6 legs instead of 8 and climbs up onto an insect. They then grab on, drill into the exoskeleton and start drinking the haemolymph inside. They're dastardly, blood-sucking parasites! Hosts can still walk or fly around, so the little mites can travel far and wide before they drop off in brand new territories.

Next is the protonymph stage where they lie dormant like a pupa.

Third is the 8-legged deutonymph. This one is active, hungry and predatory, much like an adult.

Then there's the tritonymph, who lies dormant again as if they've tired themselves out and wish they could go back to being a parasite again. A kind of mid-life crisis.

At last, the adult can finally emerge. It sounds a bit like "life begins at 40", but better because they have proper dormant stages for thinking about stuff and preparing for the next step. All we get is mental breakdown.

wildcastr
A load of Red Velvet Mites being weird.

In any case, adult Giant Velvet Mites would clearly make for a delicious meal for all sorts of animals. I mean, they look like a fuzzy strawberry! They get out of trouble because they simply taste horrible. They also secrete antifungal oils and even their haemolymph has antifungal properties.

Image: Wikimedia

The thing with us humans is we eat quite a lot of horrible things. Some of them are just poisonous, but some can at least convince us that their nasty taste is caused by amazing medicinal properties.

People in India have been using Trombidium grandissimum as a medicine for centuries. Probably the main reason the Giant Indian Velvet Mite has so many names.

Apparently it's supposed to be particularly good for diseases that cause paralysis and also for increasing sexual desire. It makes me wonder if it helped a guy's paralysis and there was one thing he wanted to do just in case the effect started to wear off.

Still, oils from this particular Velvet Mite have been tested and it seems that it really does increase immune response. Quite remarkable for a murderous, parasitic, velvet cushion on legs!

And I still think +1 Health = +1 Sexual Desire.