Real Motherfucking Talk

Muslim and Richie Bitch

2011-05-07T19:29:00.000-07:00

So a couple days ago about 3 hours before my organic chemistry exam, I was chillin in this quiet study area. Then a guy comes in and says watch his stuff so Im like aights. He comes back and asks if I want anything to eat. Im like what? No thanks I just ate. He says alright, just offering because he doesnt like to eat and others are in the room not eating. I still say no thanks because I ate earlier already and was quite full. He was eating some of that student center southern tsunami sushi and a bag of funyuns. Then he struck up a conversation of what I was majoring in and what exams I had. It then drifted to our cultures and how the Midwest is very segregated when it comes to mixing of cultures. But its finally changing he says. He says hes from Cali and how everyone mixes together and topics get brought up that usually dont in the Midwest.

Then we got into a discussion about Islam. Now this guy was definitely very faithful and knowledgeable about his faith and he just wanted to spread the word that Islam is not a religion of the sword. Its a very beautiful religion and a religion of seeking knowledge. A couple minutes later he says he has to pray and something very interesting he said inspired me. He says he is not afraid to pray in public if he has to since Muslims have to pray 5 times a day and prostate to their Lord. The only reason he wasnt going to pray outside was because it was about to storm. Then he says he would pray outside if it wasnt storming because "A man can only do so much harm to another man. But God sees you everywhere and knows all and can damn you to Hell." He says hes not afraid of any man, he has no reason to be. Thats pretty cool I thought to myself. I mean it is true in a way no matter what religion you are, with some minor tweekings. Then he proceeded to pray in the room we were in and once he finished we returned to our conversation. He was a real nice polite person and I friended him on FB.

He told me the first words from God to Mohammad was "ikra" prolly not the right spelling but it means "read." Islam is a religion of knowledge he says. Thats what really struck out to me the most because he's right! When the western world was soiling around in their own shit in the dark ages, the Islamic world was teaching people to read and writing books on math and science. Just something for y'all mofos to think about is all.

So another person I met was a lady I call Richie Bitch. This was at Goodwill. I found a nice shirt I wanted to buy and got in line behind this white lady. The other lines were full and she was the only one at this particular line. I didnt notice she had a whole bunch of shit to buy and thought it doesnt matter shes almost done anyway, how long could this take. WRONG! Biyotch took forever! She bought too big ass bags of clothes and a shit ton of shoes! Now Ill describe her. He was about 5 foot on heels so Im guessing prolly 4 foot 10 inches otherwise, had a big ass Louis Vuitton purse, blonde, prolly around 30+ years old, teeth braces and wearing sunglasses inside! She looked like a hot mom pretty much. [Picture not related] Her total was about $100 when I rolled up and waiting 25 minutes it was brought up to $170! That is ridiculous! You wanna know why it took so goddamn long?

Ill tell you fools why! She was gossiping and shit with the cashier! Now Im a pretty patient person but that cashier and Richie Bitch shouldve ended their conversation and let me pay for my shit! They knew I was standing there, its not like I was invisible. People behind me who had left to go to other lines had already paid and left and when I was thinking about doing the same, the other lines got really full again so I was stuck pretty much. I wanted to just hang in there. I was the only person behind Richie Bitch. After 10 minutes of ringing her shit up and another 15 minutes of straight "girl talk", I was so fed up, I decided to put my shirt back up on the rack and leave. As I turn around, the cashier was lookin at me all weird and says "are you ready?" I was about to blast that bitch in the face! Cashier apologizes and says something about women together and shit so I was like whatever bitch, just ring my shit up.

I brought the shirt back up because it was a nice shirt and you know what Richie Bitch tells me? "Im so sorry. Women like to talk you know. Lemme pay for your shirt."

OOOOOOOOOOOOH HEOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO NAWLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL!

This rich white bitch did not just ask to pay for my shit. That is the biggest insult to me ever! Because shes rich and think money will fix everything she wants to pay for my shirt? No way bitch! She wasted my time and then she thinks a little bit of money will make up for it? Now some people might take her offer, but to me, Fuck that ho! I dont give a fuck about your money! Comes to show you how some rich ass people think. I was pulling out of the parking lot and I see this bitch loading all her shit into a big ass silver SUV. I was heola pissed off at that point because not only was she shopping at Goodwill being all rich and shit but I heard her talking to the cashier she was gonna flip this shit for more money at her "Shop" and wanted to know the locations of other Goodwills. Im not entirely sure I heard correctly but if that shit was for reals, I will have to choke a bitch!

Thats the most ridic thing Ive ever heard!

But anyways I bought a nice shirt from that experience. There was some REAL TALK in this post! Peace motherfuckers!

Relationship as a Mother Fucker

2011-04-28T02:05:00.000-07:00

Sorry if this is a long post yall, but I had this shit drafted for a couple days and now im finishing to post.

So Fuck this motherfucking bullshit. I am going to rant on some relationship problems just for the hell of it. Now what I am disclosing here is real talk! About three months ago, me and my girlfriend broke up. Well you know what? I'll start from the motherfucking beginning.

Date is late September 2010. I been working with this girl for about 9 months and all of a sudden I started to get feelings for her. I heard its the law of attraction of repetition that if you see someone a lot and within a certain time frame, you will begin to see them in a different way. I dont know where I heard it but I think its a fact or some shit like that from scientists and shit. Well, I guess you can fucking say that happened to me. She just became the most beautiful girl I had ever seen in my life. I had always seen her as a friend since we also went to the same university together and hang out on campus often. But then bam, like I fucking said, I became extremely attracted to her. Only problem, she has a fucking boyfriend of 2 or 3 years or whatever. Fuck that guy. We in our early 20s and that fucker is 40 by now. Old as our fucking parents!

So I was like shit yo, this the girl of my dreams for reals. We share so much in common and shit and our personalities are very much the same. Im also into astrology and that shit and a lot of people dont believe in it, but I did at that time. Im a pisces and shes a scorpio and that shit is a amazing match from what I read up on it. We both water signs and you know all about the properties of water and shit. Water likes to stick to water, shit. So I was like shit yo, I finna try and get with her, maybe something will happen. Maybe it was just the little bastard in me that wanted to get this girl. Its totally fuckin wack of me to even try and get at her since shes already taken but I dont even know what I was thinking. I was blinded by the whole perfect match shit.

And at the start of September her boyfriend motherfucker piece of shit goes off for a business trip for a month and a half or whatever. Oh yeah, I forgot, we all work together. Some shit right? Yeah, motherfucking shit. I guess he wasnt callin her enough or some shit or she was feelin all lonely because she call me up at like 11pm one night and we talk all the way up to like 3. This like the first time she ever call me that late or even for longer than 15 minutes. So i was like shit, wtf goin on yo. Maybe she need companionship. Aights ill just be there for her. So the next couple days we keep doin the same thing. Real long talks about absolutely nothing I can remember about. Haha. All I remember is joking about my xbox 360 and ipod and how she wanted to come play games and steal everything i got lol. And one night she was like hey yo, wanna go out to lunch sometimes? I was like sure why not.

So I find this korean place up in hellas far nauf county shit and we hit it off. Food was all good and shit for reals. Bimbimbop or whatever the fuck they call that shit. Its got like rice, vegetables and beef and they give out dishes of kimchi, spicy black beans and other korean condiments I guess. This was the first time I had korean so I aint know anything about this stuff. I think it mightve been her first time too since she was surprised as I was. Threw down prolly about 30-35 bucks on that Im guessin since we also had an app which was like a beef nori roll. Shit was aights.

That was like not really anything important but the start of all this shit because that night I told her my feelings. I felt like I needed to tell her because I just couldnt hold these fuckin feelings back no more. This was in my car on the campus parking lot. She was in the passenger seat and it was about 5pm or so. Shit was gettin dark. She was about to go and shit and gave me a hug and I was like thats all I get? She was like what do you want in return for tonight? I say, how bout a kiss? I dont know where I got the balls to even say that but I did. She shyly says, "really? you sure?" "Yeah, thatd mean a lot to me" is what I say or some shit like that. She then says yes but not yet. But I wasnt listening about the not yet part guess I jumped the gun on the yes part and came forward to kiss her. I kissed her on the lip and she was shocked and almost freakin out.

I WAS FREAKIN OUT! She didnt kiss me back! I was like oh shit what did I just do. I totally came on way too strong for this shit. I aint even tell her my feelings for her. I was sitting there like why aint she kiss me back. Oh shit im an idiot was running through my head the whole time.
I felt real uncomfrtable now and lost my cool for reals and Im sure the same thing was goin through her mind. She was like why did you kiss me on the lips? I was like, "Ummm, thats the only way I know of kissing girls" or some shit like that to make an excuse. Though I never said sorry because I wasnt lol. And then I told her everything. I was like, hey yo know we work together a long time and I started to have feelings for you about a month now. She was shocked. Real shocked. Like kept saying "really? Really? you feel that way about me?"

I was like yeah fosho. At that point my leg was visibly shaking. I was in all kinds of nervousness. I didnt know if she felt the same way or not so my heart was pounding out of my chest. I think we didnt speak for about a minute and then she says "do you really feel that way about me?" I reassured her once again. I said I wanted to experience it with someone I could never have. Then she said okay, lets kiss for reals. I was like no way! This is amazing!

Now that kiss was one of the best kisses I will always remember. It was that feeling of the forbidden. I knew I was wrong but it felt so right. Tongue action and everything. Man it was ecstasy. Then she said she had to go and goodnight.

I was driving home feeling good but at the same time sad. She would be the perfect girl that I would never have. It seems that always in my life this happens. Something fantastic comes my way and Im just too late to get it. I was punching the steering wheel the whole drive home feeling pissed off as why this always happen. Nothing ever I want happens to me.

I get home and my phone rings. Its her! I was like ionno if I should answer it might be awkward. I did anyways and we talked about random stuff like usual like nothing happened. My heart sank. I thought she really was going to forget what just happened and just stay friends. A little part of me wanted more and to be with her, and the other part knew it would never work. A part of me wanted to grow old with her and be happy.
You see that fucker in the picture with that glasses? That could be me and her right there by my side!

Then the subject came up to the kiss. I was like oh shit. She said I was a good kisser. NO WAY! I mean I knew I was an alright kisser but to be called good is like awesome. I said she was a great kisser too and we talked some more about what if we really a couple and shit like that.

Well I think thats enough for one installment. Ill post another one of these days and eventually Ill finish the whole story. That was just one major day of the relationship. We'll you know we did become bf/gf but it got weird. Youll just have to watch for the next post. C yaz fools. Its late as heo 4 a.m. and I couldnt sleep so I posted this but now Im sleepy. Got class and an exam this morning at 9 a.m. SHIET!

Sad my favorite thing is so far away

2011-04-16T00:19:00.000-07:00

My favorite thing in the whole wide world? Its really really cold water. And you know where you can get really really cold water from? From a goddamn sink! BUUUUUT, my sink doesnt pour out that amazing, delicious cold water anymore since the pipes are all warmed up because of this weather. Now I have to wait for like six months before it gets refreshing again. Oh wells.

Oh yeah, at work today, I was standing by this old lady. Then I smelt something really good. The smell of spam! I fucking love spam. I was like "Girl, I could sniff you all day old lady". I dont know why people dont like spam. Its fuckin delicious. Fry dem shits up, microwave them shits up, bake or grill dem shits up. Its all good baby. That picture is spam musubi. Its a Hawaiian-Japanese food. Sort of like sushi but with spam. ITS SO EFFIN GOOD YO! RICE, SPAM, SEAWEED, BOMB! SPAM MUSUBI! Eff you if you dont like spam. Grew up eating meat from a can my whole life. But for real tho, that old lady smelt heola good. I dont know how, but she doin it right attracting young and troubled bucks like me.

On another note, its been about 3 weeks of no smokin. Shits good for your health man. Ive noticed Ive gained weight though. Usually I smoked so I wouldnt feel hungry but I been eating a lot more because of it. Read thats pretty normal though. Ate some roast duck and thread noodle cake today, prolly gonna have it for lunch tomorrow. Good stuff. Drankin on some malt liquys too, an Ol' Eazy Fody. Thats all for now from the randomness of a motherfucker. Real talk once again! Real talk all the time!

Baby Face

2011-04-12T01:26:00.000-07:00

Mom just called me a mother fuckin baby face. I don't really know what to think of that. She says I still act like a baby and is a brat. Da heo?? OKay this is the third time Ive been told I am a brat. I dont see it. I might be a little picky but mos def not a brat.

I dont want to be a brat!

Oh yeah, thot Id put a picture of some mother fuckers baby on here thats kinda cute and funny lookin.

Keep it real motherfuckers!

Edit:

Oh yeah, one more piece of real talk. What the fuck is up wif gas prices yo? Broke as shit out here trynna pay for gas. Thats why I applied to a new job. I want to work in an office, not a grocery store anymore. There some drama at the place I work at now but I dont really want to get into much detail about that. I just gotta get away from it all, ya feel me? Boy has got to make more money in this economy, know'm sayin? Cause I gotta feed these kiedz and put em thru schoolin. Nah, Im just playin. I just need more money for car payments and so I can move out my parents house. Real talk! Been trynna leave forever. Now its a lot tougher with car payments and all that bullshit. Oh yeah, I just bought a new phone and shit too. I cant wait for it to come in! Aight peace out motherfuckers.

I really need to quit smoking cigarettes

2011-03-29T16:40:00.000-07:00

Title says it all. Mom has caught me smoking by checking my car and it smells all of cigarettes about four times now. Evey time I have said that I would quit. I really want it to be the last time I smoke for reals though. Shits bad for me, but I dont know what to say. I havent had a cigarette in two days and its driving me a little crazy. I remember being smoke free for about two months before and having gone back I smoke even more. Shit needs to stop.

The image up there looks like a pretty fun way to store/hide cigarettes lol. I was thinkin about getting into some e cigarettes as well but I will definitely have to stay away if I ever want to quit. My mom just thinks you can wake up one day and just never ever smoke again but its a lot harder than that. Ill update some more shit once I get too it. Ill also try and finish that story about my ex. Peace yall.

2010-02-12T08:34:00.001-08:00

Aight so theres recently been some talk about racism since on campus there has been a hate crime. Some white guy called a black chick the n word which is a crime in my state and he was arrested after being pointed out by the victim.. She had called up the BSA(Black Student Alliance) at my university and they charged him and etc. Not sure if he was expelled or suspended but he was arrested by campus police as what the newspaper says.

He had also said something along the lines of "Imma lynch you" which is considered a threat here in my hometown. A lot of blacks students are saying he should be expelled as a showing that racism and intolerance of races will not be tolerated one bit on campus. In my opinion, Im a real mother fucker so I couldnt care less what your color of your skin is.

Youre a person, Im a person. But for reals tho! People should be able to hate whatever they want even if its a person! I hate nasty smelling Indians! I should be arrested man. People are still allowed to hate and discriminate white people tho cause that is completely acceptable.

WE SHOULD BE FREE TO HATE!

Whats wrong with hating?

Now thats some real motherfuckin talk.

What do yall think?