Real. Stupid. Emails.

shXt

2008-06-25T09:46:00.002-04:00

ShXt. I heard good thing about you from my mouth. You are such s bad person. You should not be hired at the first place. But anyway, you are out of luck. Now, go crazy.

How does one type an "x" instead of an "i"? I mean, they are not even close to each other on the keyboard. Actually, they couldn't possibly be any further away. But it's ok, I heard good thing about you from my mouth. giggity.

An Angry Poor Speller...

2008-05-30T12:19:00.004-04:00

Good morning:
Please explain you comment so I can explain David what’s going on, and manage the situation. The way it works is, if you have information about the Smith's that I do not have or know, how can I help, you must keep me informed. Do not push me, give me the information.
This is between attorney’s at this point, you both know that.
Let’s talk.

He portrays his anger so well through the poor grammar and misspellings, you can almost feel the awkwardness in the room.

Hello and Welcome to Moviephone...

2008-05-21T09:34:00.005-04:00

Hi,
First of all everyone knows that when Carrie & Jess is prospects come up that they will be assigned to that sales agent, who is working that day. I put some in under Veronica's name when they came up, but she took it upon herself to go in and do the rest. I address Tom on Thursday about it., but he did'nt say anything. ??

The use of "is" in a possessive tone is absolutely brilliant.

Is it Jess is, Jess', or Jess's? Why don't you just tell me how to read and write?

West Coast Condo

2008-05-16T14:59:00.002-04:00

We are now selling condos on the west coast...

Hi Everyone,

Paul just called me on the e-mail, There is only (1) unit under Contract, 18/2217 The other 2 are under reservation with no pacific unit picked.

pacific/specific. cool whip/cool hhuip. it's all the same.

Multiple Linguals

2008-05-13T11:30:00.002-04:00

Thank you for the excellent email submissions, keep them coming! Here is a good one...

De:
i have 11 years in miami i speak to leguages spanish and english ,i like to haver the oportunity to work for u guy .thanks

You are so well versed in both of these languages. Maybe you should try a third. Italian perhaps?

You go

2008-05-06T11:43:00.004-04:00

This was an email in response to the PRESIDENT of our company requesting a printed report. I was lucky enough to be CC'd on it, along with 5 other employees who are still laughing at the moment...

Mr. ****,

You go tit. I will print it out.

uuuhhhhahahahhahahha. idiot.

Short, but sweet...

2008-05-01T10:31:00.002-04:00

MaryJoe, This does gets replaced in the Doc Book? Correct

Yes it does gets. It's almost as if you have no business training at all.

I can't make this stuff up...

2008-04-25T15:48:00.004-04:00

not yet, haul? told me he will call meow on Friday to confirm trailer removal for Monday. when he call me, I will ask the Time. ( I m preparing a formula for the ants & wasps so they will follow you next time you at Riverside.?)

Did I catch a meow in there? Yes, yes I did.

Really??

2008-04-15T11:36:00.002-04:00

On Monday 4/7 before trailer is moved from Job site, there is few Items to be taken out from the inside, water hose, old garbage can, push brown and old shovel. I forgot to take them out yesterday, Jen don't forget the key/s. call me if is any questions.
thank you

Sooo you want me to grab the push brown? Really? Oh, and the key/s? Really?

The Mastermind is Back...

2008-04-14T09:36:00.003-04:00

Just when I thought you couldn't get any dumber, you go and do something like this.....

Hi Everyone,

Just to let you know, we cannot park in front of these garage, We are getting complaints from the renters and owners. # 5, 6, 31, 30, 36, 27, 37, 38, 40, 44, 50. These units are the ones closes to the office, that are either being rented out, or that someone owns. Grines is also working on a system for renters to make sure they also are parked in the Wright space. Someone had a owner blocked in his garage the other day, and he went and called a tow truck. Luckily it was none of us. Anybody has any questions, please feel free to ask.

Thank You, and have a great Day.

....and totally redeem yourself!

First Submission...

2008-04-09T09:54:00.007-04:00

This is the first email I have received from an anonymous reader....and it is an excellent one.

Good Morning Robit,,
here are the reports take a lot of time to download for the content of the pic ,if you want you can expand the picture a litle more big when you printe.
any question let me know!
thanks !

This was sent to me from RobERt, however the use of two commas to address Robit makes up for the misspelling of his name.

Seriously?

2008-04-03T11:24:00.007-04:00

This email is not stupid because of spelling or grammar. It is stupid because it had to be sent...

Tonight before you leave for the evening please remove everything on top of your desk. Since you all have been sick one time or another we are cleaning (disinfecting) your desk.
Thanks

This was sent to me and two other people. Quarantined at work. I am now the bubble boy of the office.

"Bushoog"

2008-04-03T09:07:00.003-04:00

T-
about make plans to meet me at Montage on Thursday 3/12/08 some where around 9:00 am. we have some wind damages to our screening fence material, it need to get "fix" . if you can fit in to you schedule, also right after that, we have some "bushooging" to do. let me know when you get a chance.
thank you
Mo

I will be about making plans for lunch later today if anyone would like to "join" me.

Unbeatable...

2008-04-02T12:01:00.001-04:00

This is it. The email which sealed the deal for the start of this blog. A little background...

This was written by our Sales Assistant. It is in regards to a new deal our company was offering on condominiums. It was sent in a mass email to thousands of people (Presidents and VP's of major corporations included) before ever being sent to our Sales Manager.

At no time did I alter the above text. That editing was done by the genius that is our Sales Assistant. Please note the beautiful use of coloring, punctuation, and w's.

You heard me wright.

Real. Stupid. Intro

2008-04-02T11:21:00.000-04:00

When I entered the corporate world a short 3 years ago, straight out of college, I assumed that bringing one’s language and grammar skills with them was a given....I stand corrected. Every day, I am more and more amazed by the incredible emails that fly through my inbox. Recently, I received one of the worst emails ever written, and I’m not sure I will ever see another one quite like it. So I decided to start this blog. If you have an email that is from a real employee, and is better than the email in my first post, please send it to me. Cut and paste the actual email, but, for obvious reasons, do not include the Real. Stupid. employee's name.