real thought, faith, love

The Jonita & Jesus Project

noreply@blogger.com (Jonita) — Fri, 14 Aug 2009 03:16:00 +0000

Hi, friends!

Okay...so you get the inside scoop: I'm on to a new project called the Jonita & Jesus Project.

This past weekend, I saw the movie Julie & Julia and it inspired me. Like one of the lead characters (Julie Powell played by Amy Adams), I am tackling a year-long, life-changing project.

The assignment: Read the entire Bible in one year and blog about the experience.

The deadline: August 14, 2010 (I’ll be almost 30 when I’m done—OH. MY. GOSH!)

If I've tagged you in this post, it could be because...

You've read my blog posts before.
I thought you might want to participate with me or add your own (amazingly brilliant, insightful or thought-provoking) comments.
I thought you might want to invite friends to participate with us.
You might just be a fantastic friend who I can trust to pray for me (and anyone else this project reaches) throughout the process.

Want to learn more--or read with me? Here's the link for all the details:

http://www.jonitaandjesusproject.blogspot.com/

Fear, love and freedom

noreply@blogger.com (Jonita) — Thu, 02 Jul 2009 06:18:00 +0000

"I will not fear
I will not deny Your love...
All of my life
I could not deny Your love."

When I sang these words for the first time, I didn't really think about them. It was about mechanics. Memorization. Music notes.

But music is so much more than notes. Words like these were designed to mean something.

They're from a song called "Freedom is here" by Hillsong United. It's a song to (and about) God.

When I started thinking about the lyrics, I thought they were about having courage to share my faith…to live for God. Maybe that is true. But maybe it’s about something more.

As I again contemplated the song lyrics above, I realized that when I live in fear, it can be a form of denying God’s love. Because when I live as if I know I’m loved, it’s virtually impossible to be afraid.

Let me explain...when people see me, it’s like they’re watching a little girl standing on the edge of a diving board. The girl who knows and trusts her Dad to catch her approaches the edge differently than the girl who doesn’t trust her dad at all…or the one who doesn’t believe anyone is in the pool waiting for her with open arms.

I’m not diving into a pool today, but every day I dive into situations, relationships, work…you name it. Do I jump with confidence? Or hesitate?

In the words of another musician (Dave Barnes—my fave—to be exact), “Where love is, fear won’t tread.”

I believe with all my heart that there’s a freedom found in Love alone.

Cheap & chic fashion find

noreply@blogger.com (Jonita) — Wed, 10 Jun 2009 17:01:00 +0000

Shh…I have a secret for any of my chic and cheap fashionista friends.

I just bought this Norma Kamali top online for $20. It looked a little strange upon arrival…but I’m in awe of all the different ways to wear it (halter, asymmetrical, boatneck, top, skirt, dress…and more).

I’ll be honest--not all of the convertible wonder-garment options looked great on me (the halter on the right is my personal fave)…but to get more than one option from an inexpensive piece that also travels well? It’s a beautiful thing.

http://www.walmart.com/catalog/product.do?povid=cat1025819-env201614-module222029-lLink1&product_id=10802949

Change - Part 3: When change just happens

noreply@blogger.com (Jonita) — Fri, 05 Jun 2009 18:59:00 +0000

“What have you been up to the past year?”

I paused before answering, “In a lot ways, my life is basically the same—I have the same job, live in the same house, attend the same church. But it seems really weird to say that…because so much has changed.”

As I was catching up with a friend recently, I thought about some of the changes I’ve experienced since the beginning of 2008 (not in chronological order or order of importance by any means!). Some of them are good. Some of them are bad. And some of them, I’m honestly not sure about yet.

Here’s the short list (NOTE: These are mostly changes tied to “events”—we all go through intellectual, emotional, spiritual and physical changes, too—but I’ll spare you from reading about all of those!):

I had my first-ever surgery (on a broken arm), went through weeks of physical therapy and am now back to normal. :)

Our young adults’ service at church was revamped and renamed.

Some friends moved away.

My company’s CEO changed—and so did some of our senior leadership team.

My parents started considering moving to Arizona (we’ll see…).

My best friend got married.

The financial markets went into a rollercoaster environment—greatly impacting my day-to-day work (and stress levels!).

My boss was laid off.

I have a new boss (who, thankfully, I also like).

Some friends moved back home.

My middle sister Hannah (and co-owner of my house) was laid off.

My little sister got married. Congrats Kevin & Holly!

Our company laid off approx. 20% of people globally, including over 60% of my team—great friends and talented team members are definitely missed.

Hannah got a great job—and a nice pay increase. Yay!

Some of these bullet points represent major life changes for people I care about deeply—and have significantly impacted my relationships with them. Other changes have impacted me directly—and shaped my day-to-day life.

But guess what? I honestly couldn’t have said or done anything to stop these changes from occurring. In some cases, these events have been exciting…and others have been brutally painful. But these are all changes that “just happened.”

So…what can you (and I!) do when change “just happens”?

This is a tough question and something I'm still trying to figure out. To be honest, I don't know if I ever could figure it out (see #1), but it's a topic you and I will probably wrestle with our entire lives. That said, here's what I'm learning now:

1. Let go...of the need to know "why?"

Particularly when bad, sad or difficult things happen, many of us want to know "why?" And in many cases where I can't control anything, letting go of the need to know "why?" can be healthy (yet especially hard for any "inquiring minds" who have ever been news reporters at any level!).
The drive to know "why?" can be unhealthy in these cases because:

a) Sometimes being a little in the dark is a good thing--with knowledge comes responsibility.

b) The drive to know "why?" can easily morph into a "digging for dirt" mission focused on finding the negative--about people, organizations or situations.

c) The drive to know "why?" can lead you to dive in to situations you were never meant to be in.

2. Let go...of trying to control the things you can't.

This probably sounds like common sense, given the defintion of change that "just happens." But it's not. Sometimes when change happens, an initial reaction is to ask, "What if...?" questions.

But "What if...?" questions are focused on the past. You can't change that. When change "just happens", I think it can be more effective to ask the, "What now...?" questions.

That said, no matter which questions we ask or what actions we take, there are some things outside our control. And I personally believe that's where faith comes in.

3. Hold on...to the things that really matter (and things don't really matter).

It's really interesting to see how people respond to change--especially life-threatening or life-altering circumstances. I've been blessed enough to know some amazing people who, when faced with horrible circumstances, can look for the good.

When my sister lost her job...and I wasn't sure I would keep mine...we would say things like, "No matter what happens, God is still God. We still have our family, our friends, our church, our health. There's a lot to be thankful for!"

Have you ever known someone who has faced a life threatening illness or situation? It's interesting to see their perspectives and how they spend their time. I only wish more of us (myself included!) could live that way always.

4. Hold on...your story isn't over.

One of my friends frequently says, "This too shall pass!" (usually with some laughter) to cope with rocky situations (or crazy annoying people--and let's be honest--we all know them...and we've all probably BEEN them to someone else!). :)

Whenever change "just happens", it can make you feel powerless. Although I can't control the kind of change that just happens to me, I CAN have a say in how it affects my attitude and choices...which affect my future.

Change Part Two: Piercings, tatoos and transformation

noreply@blogger.com (Jonita) — Tue, 21 Apr 2009 04:06:00 +0000

I first read Kaitlyn's story about a month ago.

We've never met. I simply had a glimpse into her life by reading a post on a Starbucks customer Web site. But it's something that stuck with me.

Partners and piercings

Kaitlyn works at Starbucks--she's been a partner for two years. She loves her co-workers, customers and company. But Kaitlyn's Starbucks world was "turned upside down." Why?

Her manager asked her to remove her nose piercing or cover it up with a Band-aid while working. Here's a little bit of what Kaitlyn wrote:

I want to stand for something.
Yes, it's a hole in my nose,
and I can leave the company at a later point
and just have it redone if I so choose.
I don't want to leave.
I would love to stick with this company,
I can see myself still with this company years from now.
I would like the policy on piercings to be straightened out.
If the cost of this is my job, I suppose it is the price I must pay.

I should start by saying that I actually agree with Kaitlyn's basic argument--personally, I think baristas should be allowed to show (non-offensive) piercings and tatoos. However, what struck me about Kaitlyn's post and rationale is that, whether you agree with her or not, she went about creating change the wrong way.

First, Kaitlyn made this post on a public forum mainly designed for Starbucks' customers. Instead, she should have shared her feelings one-on-one with her manager or maybe on the Starbucks' Web site specifically for employees.

Secondly, based on other content in her posting, Kaitlyn knew the "no piercings" rule when she started working at Starbucks...before she got her piercing. Instead of breaking the rule and then expecting the entire global company to change its policy, she could have a) tried to change the rule first or b) moved on to work at another company before getting her piercing.

Finally (and perhaps most importantly!), I think Kaitlyn's biggest flaw was neglecting the big picture. She has a job...that she actually likes. She enjoys her company. She's working...while thousands of other Starbucks partners have been laid off. She can even keep her piercing...the company just asks that she cover it up (like with a tiny Band-aid) while working.

Maybe it's just me...but a policy that forbids showing a piercing at work? Not really worth arguing about in the grand scheme of things. I bet hundreds of laid off people would love her job and all it's perks (hello, health insurance! 401(k)! Discounted coffee!) in the current economy.

Change through transformation

The fact that I remember Kaitlyn's story or that I'm writing about it here may seem silly to you. But as I read it, it struck me as exemplifying how so many people (especially young adults like Kaitlyn and I ) sometimes try to create change.

Our generation may think it's noble to "buck the system", create our own rules, complain (to the wrong people!) and disregard rules or leaders we find irrelevant, unrealistic or just plain pointless.

But does that approach to creating change really work? And even if it does work, is it the optimal way to create change?
No.

One thing I'm recognizing lately is that those who bring about change best--whether it's history-making or just something that alters their families, companies or schools--transform systems and cultures. They don't usually fight, protest or break the rules--they become the best and brightest leaders and examples--from whatever "positions" they have.

A few transformational leaders…

I think President Obama is a transformational leader…and so is Sarah Palin. I don’t agree with either of them 100%, but I have to give both of them kudos for breaking through barriers of race, gender, economic background—to try and DO SOMETHING to change our government.

For example, President Obama could have been satisfied to say, “It’s unfair that we’ve never had an African-American president.” His criticism would have right…but it wouldn’t have changed anything. Instead, I think that disappointing statistic (and a passion to lead change) motivated him to succeed and transform America’s history.

In the Bible, Esther is one example of a transformational leader. I think Esther is often simply labeled by Christians as “beautiful” or “one who God used to save Israel.” Those things are true…but Esther was also a leader. Her beauty may have brought her to a position as queen, but it probably didn’t keep her there…or serve as the sole factor that allowed her to influence the king. She was a leader who had some brainpower, too—and used her position of leadership to transform an anti-Semitic culture and save her people.

Putting the pieces together…

In this post, I’ve talked about bringing about change through transformation. But that approach only works if you’re the one who wants change.

What about the cases where change just happens—and you’re just left to pick up the pieces? That’s my next topic…and one I’ve experienced a bit this year. Stay tuned…

Change - Part One: What a difference a year makes

noreply@blogger.com (Jonita) — Wed, 08 Apr 2009 05:44:00 +0000

If there's one word that could sum up the last year for me, it would be "change."

(Thanks, Mr. President, for the hint!)

I don't know about you, but the last 12 months have brought a lot of changes in my life ranging from stitches and scars (literally) to new family members (yes, I have a brother-in-law now!) to unexpected career turns.

And then there are the other changes in the lives of my friends, family members, church, office, the economy, our country…you name it…that in turn affect my relationship with these people, organizations and entities.

Being the artistic/analytical girl that I am (yeah, I’ll admit it’s kind of a weird combo—but it’s just me), I’ve been thinking about change a lot lately. So I’ll start sharing some of those thoughts with you in a little blog series…just in case you were wondering.

A few things I know for sure?

Change happens. And it happens all the time. There are changes I can’t control. There are others I can. Knowing the difference? Could change my life. (And maybe yours, too.)

Also crucial? Knowing how to lead change…or lead in the midst of change…and they’re not always the same either.

I’ve heard it said that, “The more things change, the more they stay the same.” But I also believe that sometimes, “The more things stay the same, the more they desperately NEED to change.”

Change can be AMAZINGLY good, scary, overwhelming, exciting, life-altering, devastating, inspiring—and sometimes all of those things put together in a kaleidoscope of crazy we call “life”. Here’s to the adventure.

Love lesson from a crazy lady...and God

noreply@blogger.com (Jonita) — Mon, 23 Mar 2009 03:44:00 +0000

"You're really pretty...I just thought you should know that."

If it were a movie, I would have heard the line from a single Christian guy my age who I also found attractive (on multiple levels).

But it wasn't a movie. It was my life...which meant the line came from a crazy middle-aged woman yelling from across the street in the middle of downtown Tacoma...shouting at me or the two girls I was with?...I don't honestly know. :)

Laugh with me if you will, but so many people on this planet want to be noticed...not solely for the sake of recognition, but just to know that what we do...or who we are...matters to somebody else.

There are moments where I've tried to go the extra mile. At work, it happens when I take on an extremely tough (or dull) assignment with a tight deadline and, in the words of Tim Gunn, "make it work." In my personal life, I may wear extremely uncomfortable shoes, clothes or a certain hairstyle in an attempt to just look better...or perhaps catch the attention of a specific guy.

And guess what? Sometimes no one at work says "thank you" or the guy I was interested in doesn't appear to notice or even care.

I was thinking about that after my run-in with the crazy lady this week when I felt like God spoke to my heart...

"Sometimes I feel that way about you...like I'm here with you always and you don't notice Me or the things I've done."

Whoa.

I've heard it said that the opposite of love is not hate, but indifference. And when it comes to my relationship with God and what He wants, I know that's true (see Rev.3:16). He deserves so much more than I could ever offer...but I can give Him my best. My best is more than my money (though it does include that, too!)--it's my whole heart.

In the busyness (or challenging circumstances) of life, it can take effort to notice God's voice,
presence or blessings, but that doesn't mean He's absent, silent or not blessing me (hello--every day...every breath...is a gift).

Many people think that to please God, you have to be perfect. But now I think of it like the crazy lady's street shout out: even though the compliment was delivered through an imperfect person in a non-movie moment, it still meant something to me.

When I take notice of God and thank Him for who He is, it's usually not perfect. I probably don't notice everything (is that even possible?). I may not say all the right things at the right time. But I bet He still appreciates it.

Maybe to God, I'm a little like the crazy lady.

:)

Ready...or not?

noreply@blogger.com (Jonita) — Sat, 14 Mar 2009 02:52:00 +0000

"I'm ready, God, so ready."

Have you ever prayed like that?

I think for many of us, it's a last-ditch effort kind of prayer. It's the, "I'm still here, God, do you hear me?!? Do you see what I'm going through?!?" kind of prayer. It's probably a prayer of desperation--for that long-awaited job, spouse, financial stability, salvation of a close friend or relative, healing, relationship repair...you name it.

Last night I was reading a prayer that started like that in the Bible (David's prayer in Psalm 108 according to The Message version) but that's not what it was about...well, not exactly.

Here's how it goes:

I'm ready, God, so ready,

ready from head to toe.

Ready to sing,

ready to raise a God-song

"Wake, soul!"

...I'm thanking you, God,

out in the streets,

singing your praises

in town and country.

The deeper your love,

the higher it goes;

every cloud's a flag to your faithfulness.

Soar high in the skies, O God!

Cover the whole earth with your glory!

Whoa.

David's "I'm SO ready, God" was expressing his desperation to thank and praise God.But that's not where the story ends:

And for the sake of the one you love so much,

reach down and help me—answer me!

Hold up--David was desperate to praise God...when, at the same time, he was also desperate for help? He was psyched to thank God...when the answers weren't there yet? Wow.

Let's see how God responded to that:

That's when God spoke in holy splendor:

"Brimming over with joy,

I make a present of Shechem,

I hand out Succoth Valley as a gift.

Gilead's in my pocket,

to say nothing of Manasseh.

Ephraim's my hard hat,

Judah my hammer.

Moab's a scrub bucket—

I mop the floor with Moab,

Spit on Edom,

rain fireworks all over Philistia."

Translation? God's basically saying to David (a warrior), "I'm giving you new territory. I've got allies for you in my back pocket. And I'm taking out your enemies."

I kind of wish the prayer ended there.

But I'll be honest--I'm really glad it doesn't. Because it goes on to show a little bit more of David's humanity. After God spoke and basically said, "Don't worry--I'm taking care of you and your situation," David did what a lot of do...he kept on talking:

Who will take me to the thick of the fight?

Who'll show me the road to Edom?

You aren't giving up on us, are you, God?

refusing to go out with our troops?

David's questions here are interesting to me. He is the man after God's own heart--but he's also still a man. A human being. And like a lot of us, he doesn't just want God to answer--he wants the details. He doesn't just want to know what's going to happen...he wants to know how.

The prayer ends as David says:

Give us help for the hard task;

human help is worthless.

In God we'll do our very best;

he'll flatten the opposition for good.

The good news? In the end, David trusted God and admitted the limitations of humanity. However, I also love that David didn't let his limitations stop him from doing his part.

I hope reading this passage (and my little commentary along the way) encouraged you. I know looking closely at David's example and God's way of speaking and answering prayer in this passage was a good reminder for me--to focus on thanking God just for who He is, to listen, to trust His plan for my life and to do my best with whatever "hard task" I encounter.

Cool things (to love!) lately...

noreply@blogger.com (Jonita) — Mon, 23 Feb 2009 04:08:00 +0000

iTunes find: Listen to"You, the Night & Candlelight" by Dave Barnes. Original songs plus a sweet remix of "My Girl." It's short, but will leave you wanting more Barnes' music magic.

Cafe oh yay: Check out Circa in West Seattle. Cozy atmosphere? Check. Cheap prices? Check. The best sandwich I've ever tasted (Brie with bacon and fig aioli...trust me!)? Check.

Cause: Habitat for Humanity. If you're from Champions Centre, join us with the Justice Project on the 3rd Saturday of each month to work giving a home...not just a house...to someone in our community.

Chocolate cool: Chocolove candy bars come with a love poem inside (collective "Aww..." required). I recommend "Orange Peel in Dark Chocolate." So buy one for your sweetie. Or for yourself. Because they're just stinkin' good (and you can find them at Target, too!).

Coffee crush: Grab a tall, 1 pump cinnamon dolce mocha at Starbucks. Chocolate + cinnamon + coffee = True love. :)

Chick flick: "Confessions of a Shopaholic" is simple, pure fun. Go with your girls (spare your boyfriend or husband!) if you want to bond over beautiful clothes, crazy comedic moments and a love story.

Chick lit: "I Was Told There'd Be Cake" by Sloane Crosley. It's a collection of essays that will make you laugh. And if you like the movie, check out the Confessions of a Shopaholic series...there's definitely some hilarity there that can't translate to the screen.

Blog: The Recessionista is pretty much perfect for right now. Also, reading people's "25 things" lists on Facebook...you learn things about people you wouldn't normally guess. Some serious, some funny, but all interesting...because they reflect the lives of people you care about.

Bible story you should know (but maybe you don't): David, Nabal and Abigail (I Samuel 25). Great lessons about relationships...thanks, PK.

Cheap night in: Haven't tried this yet, but saw a Redbox nearby and had to look it up. Movie rentals for $1 per night.

Cheap day out: Head to Green Lake on a sunny day and just take a walk, run, or (dare I say it?) skate around. It's a good place to people watch, talk with friends, get some exercise or just enjoy Northwest weather.

Confessions of a traveler: Rent a car with GPS in unfamiliar locales. It may have changed my life. The one I had in L.A. gave these soothing, reaffirming dings when my driver chose the right moves...it was like winning points on a video game (not that I'm familiar with those, Mom). :)

Your office meets The Bachelor

noreply@blogger.com (Jonita) — Wed, 18 Feb 2009 04:07:00 +0000

“I just don’t think he sees the real me and all I have to offer,” she sobs. “I feel such a deep connection here, you know?”

Is she a contestant on The Bachelor? Or your cubicle neighbor confiding to an HR representative? In 2009, it’s hard to tell.

Is it strange that I’m comparing your oh-so-professional colleague to the sad caricatures on a reality TV show? Maybe. But perhaps there are a few things employees across America can learn from The Bachelor.

1. Look out for the claws…

On The Bachelor, contestants can get down-right mean. Believe it or not, some can be that way in the workplace, too (and I’m not talking about the Ghost of Pen-Stealing) . Your colleagues can damage your reputation, though they probably won’t pull your hair or throw a glass of champagne at you. (Well, unless you count that incident at the holiday party…but she was definitely drunk, trust me. Why else would she sing “Achy, Brachy Heart” in front of senior management?)

2. But focus on what you can control.

The best protection for the office claws? A team spirit demonstrated by your value for others. For example, instead of hitting “Reply all” on criticism of a colleague’s work, how about noting his positive contributions in a message to his boss? Be sincere. And perhaps someone else will return the favor.Other things you can control? Your attitude (practice saying, “Why yes, I LOVE TPS reports!” 10 times daily) and your contribution (actually completing those TPS reports).

3. Don’t dish about your “competition.”

Have you ever heard a whiney girl on The Bachelor complaining about someone else?

“Jen is just so…like…materialistic and into “stuff”, you know? She just doesn’t seem genuine. I don’t think she’s here for the right reasons… she’s not really here for you. By the way, did I tell you how much I’d REALLY love a Gucci purse for my birthday?!?”

Lesson learned.

4. Make the most of your one-on-ones.

When you meet with your boss or other managers, demonstrate a willingness to help them. Keep them informed of the work you’re doing and how it’s connected to the company’s goals. When appropriate, share ideas on new products, ways to keep or gain customers, or make things more efficient. It’s not about tooting your own horn, but focusing on the big picture issues of your organization and how you can make an impact (“I read about this new program that could help us complete TPS reports five times faster, giving us more time to focus on new sales.”).

5. “Will you accept this rose?” beats a pink slip.

Perhaps instead of handing out the proverbial pink slips, companies could hold mass rose ceremonies, celebrating the employees they’ve decided to keep? While this may be completely impractical, I do think it’s important for companies to think about celebrating their survivors.

At any organization facing layoffs, morale will be down, even among those left after layoffs. If the survivors represent talented people companies want to retain and attract, aren’t they worth some encouragement? And besides, “Jo, will you accept this rose?” has a nice ring to it, don’t you think?

6. Don’t cry (or spew your disgust) ‘til you get to the limo.

Have you ever seen the girl on The Bachelor who is crazy mad in love with the guy…until she’s dumped at the rose ceremony? Once dumped, she proceeds to unleash Snotfest 2009 on the poor chap while spewing remarks like, “I just thought you were completely wrong! You didn’t listen well! You didn’t get the chance to see the real me! And you kept Sarah?!? You are SO going to regret that!”

If you are ever laid off in the workplace, take a lesson from that chick. Do your best to contain the tide of tears. If you do cry at the office, refrain from spilling the other stuff…remember, your employer could be a good reference for you. And who knows? When the economy turns around or other positions open, you could end up working for there again.

7. Is it the “most dramatic” ever?!? Really?

If you’ve ever watched a season…okay, an episode…of The Bachelor, you’ve probably heard the announcer refer to the “most dramatic rose ceremony ever.” Typically, this happens at least once an episode. Likewise, if you are laid off, know that it may feel sad, depressing, or even devastating…but it’s not the end of the world. You’re still the same person. You still have the same family, friends, health and talents. And who knows? Maybe there’s a “stronger connection”, a better bachelor…er…job…out there for you.

Who am I...really?

noreply@blogger.com (Jonita) — Sat, 07 Feb 2009 04:12:00 +0000

"Who am I...really?" is a basic question that usually comes with not-so-basic answers. And I think it's a question many people...and even companies...are asking right now.

Take Starbucks, for example. It's a huge global company with thousands of employees, millions of customers and billions of dollars in revenue. But last month, I sat in a room with Starbucks' CEO Howard Schultz (yup, that's us pictured above!). It was a regular-sized Starbucks store with about 50 regular "Joe"s (and "Jo"s, too--if you count me!) in the middle of Lakewood, Washington--a town known for its strange mix of gangs, mansions and military.

Why was I there? Because Starbucks is searching. It's looking for ideas, feedback and even criticism from regular people--Starbucks is feeling a bit lost. For the first time in its history, Starbucks' profits are down, stores are closing and baristas are losing their jobs.

Likewise, I think there are many people in society--average "Joe"s and "Jo"s if you will--that have been shaken lately. They feel lost without their jobs, their savings, the "stuff" they can't afford anymore. Some have lost their foundation--a belief they could do anything themselves--or that money, a fancy title or "stuff" defined them.

In some ways, that questioning, that shaken spirit is frightening. It can be scary. But I also believe it could help people change their lives (or companies change their focus) for the better.

Why? Because sometimes we need to get back to asking and answering basic questions. Here's some that I hope people are considering:

What do I believe?

How are my beliefs reflected in my actions? In how I spend time? How I talk? How I spend money?

What are my non-negotiables--the things I know for sure and won't compromise on?

Who (or what) do I love...really?

What am I passionate about? What are things I hate?

What's my purpose?

What are my strengths?

What do I want to be remembered for?

What do I need to get rid of?

What do I need to change?

For those who love God, some of the questions should actually be phrased a bit differently. For example:

What does the Bible say about who and what God is passionate about? Who does God love? What are things God loves? What are things God hates?

What's God's purpose for this planet? For people? For the Church globally?

What does the Bible say about how God views me?

How can I partner with God--using the passion and strenghs He's given me--to fulfill His purpose?

Is there something I need to change or give up, so that I can be the person God wants me to be?

I believe this season in history will have a serious impact on the destiny of people, companies and religions worldwide.

I hope that it's a season where Christians wake up, get a clue about who they are in Christ--and start living as people filled with love, hope and the confidence that comes from knowing the truth.

But this is not a time to be solely focused on ourselves. It's not a time to stay inwardly focused--because plenty of liars, false religions, cheap imitations of love and pleasure--will be on the prowl trying to "save" people as well.

Most importantly, I pray that we as Christians will be bold enough to start helping others ask the questions, search for answers and find truth in Christ and a family of believers (called the Church).

People are searching. This is a serious time for real questions...but it is also an opportunity to find real answers.

One thing I know for sure? Live the questions by pursuing truth with all you've got. Because God is the source of truth. And knowing Him--and the truth of His Word--is the only way to find freedom.

Starbucks quote of the day: Interesting for young adults beginning our careers

noreply@blogger.com (Jonita) — Wed, 21 Jan 2009 21:58:00 +0000

"Failure's hard, but success is far more dangerous. If you're successful at the wrong thing, the mix of praise and money and opportunity can lock you in forever."

Po Bronson, author of "What Should I Do With My Life?"

Hold out

noreply@blogger.com (Jonita) — Mon, 12 Jan 2009 03:04:00 +0000

Okay, I'll admit it--I'm a word nerd. For better or for worse, words and phrases often crack me up, make me cringe, or make me think.

Case in point (and maybe I've blogged about this before?), the investment firm I work for recently created a new service for clients dubbed "exposure management." Whenever I hear the term, I think it sounds like a service Britney Spears should hire us for :)

[In actuality, it has to do with something real (and probably boring-sounding to most of you) like giving our clients exposure to the stock and bond markets without trading physical securities.]

But back to the point--as a word nerd, sometimes when I hear or read things, specific words and phrases stand out or create pictures in my mind.

Last week at Anthem young adults' network, our speaker, Jodi, read this passage. It's one I've heard and read a million times before. But this time, something new stood out:

"Do everything

without complaining

or arguing,

so that you may become blameless and pure,

children of God

without fault

in a crooked and depraved generation,

in which

you shine

like stars

in the universe

as you hold out

the word of life—

in order that I may boast

on the day of Christ

that I did not run

or labor

for nothing.

(Philippians 2:14-16, NIV)

As you can probably tell by the bold text above, the phrase "hold out" captured my attention this time. I thought it seemed a bit odd...because most often, we "hold in" or "throw out" things.

When it comes to faith, I think many of us take that approach--we hold in by keeping our relationship with God close to our hearts, personal--but not living it out in our lives or sharing Christ with others.

On the flip side, sometimes we may throw out our faith. I've seen this happen two ways--there are some who throw out their faith like they're launching a massive snowball attack on everyone they meet--you know, telling random strangers they're going to hell or constantly talking in Christianese to their co-workers.

Others throw out their faith by discarding it--perhaps by being a Christian only when it's convenient or knowing the right things to do and choosing to live their lives on a different path anyway.

But this passage tells us to hold out the word of truth. When I think of that phrase, I have a picture in my mind--of holding out my arms to shake someone's hand or hug them. For a moment, it feels kind of awkward. Because by holding out, I am open. I have to bold and take a first step...which means I am a bit vulnerable (read more about that topic in an earlier post here). I'm putting a bit of myself on the line. At the same time, my open hands or open arms aren't forceful. The other person can choose to accept my handshake or hug...or they can choose to walk away.

I think sharing our faith is similar--it's about living as an example for Christ on this planet. It's about loving people...which may mean talking with them about God, but it also could mean just being an incredible friend, employee or family member...and letting the talking come later.

Personally, I don't always have this down, but I'm thankful for God's little reminders. Even if it's just because I'm a self-admitted word nerd, I love that we can always find new things to grasp on in God's Word.

All the lonely people

noreply@blogger.com (Jonita) — Wed, 31 Dec 2008 03:20:00 +0000

All the lonely people

Where do they all come from ?

All the lonely people

Where do they all belong?

("Eleanor Rigby" - The Beatles)

Loneliness. It's not a topic I've tackled in this blog yet, but it's something I've thought about this week. [And I PROMISE not to make this post depressing, but hopefully thought-provoking, (dare I say it?) entertaining and encouraging...so let's get back to the point.]

The lyrics of "Eleanor Rigby" (and my fave Doxology remix) came to mind this week as I was talking with people, at church, watching movies, reading, shopping, hanging out at restaurants...you name it. I've just realized how much loneliness impacts people of all kinds...and not many are really talking about it. And I think we should be.

Here are a few things I've learned about loneliness:

Loneliness impacts people in different ways.

When I think of the stereotypical lonely person, I picture a Crazy Cat Lady surrounded by 10 cats, lots of stuffed animals and wearing a Snuggie. But a lonely person could be a bikini barista who sells coffee and a bit of her self-respect to get some attention from a guy. A lonely person could be a guy who "falls in love" with a different girl each week. It could be that guy who sits in Starbucks surrounded by people for hours with a laptop. And on some days, a lonely person could be the one you and I see in the mirror.

I think that in their lonely moments, some people retreat--they stay at home, they write music, they read. Others suddenly become extreme extroverts--they serial date or they are constantly so "busy" they have no time to think. I've seen loneliness drive girls to relationships with loser guys, drive guys to alcohol addictions, push married people toward affairs...you name it

The whole point is that lonely people come in all types and it's not easy to pinpoint who is lonely and who isn't...some just might like cats and Snuggies (and in case you're wondering, that's not me!...but I don't discriminate). :)
Lonely people sometimes have lots of friends.

This may sound like an oxymoron to some people, but some of the loneliest people I've ever met or seen have lots of "friends."

The problem? Having lots of friends doesn't make you fulfilled. And "lots of friends" doesn't equal good, solid, "no matter what" friendships.

Take Lindsay Lohan or Britney Spears, for example. They have lots of people that "LOVE!!!" them. Millions of people know who they are and want to be like them--but they've both gone through a series of failed relationships, battled addictions...you name it (hello, Sinead O'Connor look!)--why? I think (and they've both said stuff similar to this themselves) at the core, they were looking for love and couldn't find it in another person, purse or pill.

This may sound cliche, but I believe that in all of us, there's a piece of our hearts designed for God. And sometimes we look to other things or people to fill it--and they can't.
Single people aren't the only ones who are lonely.

Similar to the second point--but I thought it's worthwhile to point out that people who are married or in dating relationships can get lonely. But even a great husband/wife/boyfriend/girlfriend can't fill all our relationship needs...for God, yes, but also for healthy relationships with others.

Loneliness may not be the greatest feeling in the world...but I think it's something everyone faces at some point in their lives. The key is how we respond to it.

Some Christians will also say the cliche things like, "God is more than enough. He's all I need." Ultimately, this is true...but God also created us for relationships with others. And on the flip side, sometimes being by yourself can be healthy--you can focus on your relationship with God, your goals for the future, or reflect on changes you may need to make in your life.

To some extent, I think a healthy response to loneliness is about balance and attitude. Or perhaps just being observant to share love, light and friendship to "all the lonely people" who may be in your world.

The God who gets me

noreply@blogger.com (Jonita) — Tue, 16 Dec 2008 04:55:00 +0000

"You just don't understand!"

It's the mantra of (almost) every teenager, but underneath the classic teen angst, I think most of us are expressing a deep heart cry--to be understood, to have people in our lives who really get us for who we are. I think it's a desire that outlives our acne--it's something that sticks with us all of our lives.

The past few weeks at Anthem Young Adults' Network, we've been talking about how Jesus is Immanuel--God with us. I've heard that since I was a little girl in Sunday School listening to the Christmas story recited by older kids in retired bath robes who also played "Jingle Bells" on their kazoos.

But this season, I heard it--Jesus is Immanuel, God with us--in a fresh way. Maybe it was partly due to an incredible video or a message or just thinking about different life experiences I've had or gone through with friends and family.

It's interesting to really think of Jesus as God with us--the God who gets you and me. After Anthem, I went home and started making a list of some of the ways He can relate to you and me and our experiences on this planet. It's by no means a comprehensive list--but here's what I have so far:

Jesus had parents.
Jesus had siblings (at least one--James, son of Mary and Joseph).
But in a way, Jesus was also an only child (God's only Son).
Jesus went to school.
Jesus went to church (synagogue).
At times in His life, Jesus followed others and submitted to their imperfect authority (even though He was perfect God in flesh!).
Jesus also knew what it meant to lead.
Jesus probably felt a bit different sometimes--like people didn't get Him.
But He also fit in and hung out with lots of types of people--rich, poor, scholars, sinners, men, women, etc.
Jesus knew what it was like to have great friends.
Jesus knew what it was like to be betrayed by a friend.
Jesus had a job--he worked as a carpenter until he was 30.
Jesus was single.
Jesus knew what it was to be unnoticed or undervalued.
Jesus knew what it was like to be in the spotlight, followed by thousands. [ Random rabbit trail, but I kind of smiled when I thought about this--I wonder if Jesus was ever the "It" bachelor of Nazareth? If my mom had been around back then, she would have said to me, "He builds things! He treats his mother well! He likes kids! He's practically perfect...what's not to like?" :) ]
Jesus celebrated and had fun.
Jesus cried.
Jesus had close friends who were sick.
Jesus experienced the death of at least one close friend (Lazarus--before He brought him back to life!) and a parent (Joseph).
Jesus spoke out against injustice.
Jesus showed kindness and bestowed dignity on outcasts in society (women, Samaritans, lepers...and more).
Jesus hung out with people who were really lost.
Jesus challenged hypocrisy.
Jesus forgave others.
Jesus loved deeply.

There's probably a million more. But how miraculous is it that I get to serve a perfect, all-knowing, all-powerful God who can personally relate with my life? A God who doesn't just know what I feel (good or bad), but can actually empathize with my tough experiences and celebrate my happiness?

Wow. I wonder how people--how I--would live if we really knew and daily recognized that's the kind of God we can actually get to know?

I hope that this lesson of the true gift of Christmas--Immanuel, God with us--the God who gets us--stays close to your heart and mine this season.

Much love to you.

You have 5 minutes to make a difference

noreply@blogger.com (Jonita) — Tue, 11 Nov 2008 04:16:00 +0000

Five minutes.

That's all the time I spent with one little girl on Saturday...one little girl who I hope I remember forever.

This past Saturday, I was volunteering as a face painter with the Justice Project at a registration day for Operation Blessing, our church's annual Christmas party for low income kids in the Tacoma/Pierce County area. Hundreds of kids showed up with their parents to write "Dear Santa..." letters requesting Christmas gifts, hoping to receive something this holiday season. But at Champions Centre, we wanted the whole experience to be fun--to help each child feel special and loved throughout the entire process.

Enter free facepainting. :)

"What do you want to be?" I asked each child who came to my station.

"Hold your head up higher," I said over and over throughout the morning to boys and girls accustomed to looking toward the floor at secondhand tennis shoes.

"What are you hoping for this Christmas?"

The answers to the last question varied--from High School Musical CDs to bikes to Nintendo Wii.

But the girl I won't forget was different. Her answer?

"A bed." She answered quickly, simply.

When she said it, my heart hurt.

But I realized she was not looking for my pity. So I offered what I have--my hope.

"I really hope Santa brings that for you this year. Now take a look in the mirror--you're a princess!"

Her brown eyes widened and a smile brightened her face.

I may not have done much in five minutes--but hopefully telling a little girl to hold her head higher and to believe she could be a princess meant something. I don't think I changed her life in five minutes--but she changed mine.

Quote of the day...from a smart guy

noreply@blogger.com (Jonita) — Mon, 03 Nov 2008 22:50:00 +0000

"Not everything that can be counted counts,

not everything that counts that can be counted."

- Albert Einstein

Taking responsibility...seriously

noreply@blogger.com (Jonita) — Sun, 26 Oct 2008 22:01:00 +0000

"I'm taking responsibility--

for my thoughts, my actions, my words.

For how I spend my time and my money.

And I'm taking responsibility for my personal relationships."

When was the last time you heard anything like this from a politician, business executive, pastor or professor?

The more important question? When was the last time you said or thought anything like this yourself?

Ouch! For most of us, the word "responsible" isn't fun. It sounds boring. It sounds serious. And maybe it is--but responsibility is important.

In this crazy world of political firestorms, moral failures and economic uncertainty, it is far too easy to play the blame game. It's also easy to become so overwhelmed that you feel powerless to do anything at all.

Here's the good news: you and I may not be in control of everything--but we can be in charge of some things.

This post I want to challenge us (I'm included here, too!) to be personally responsible for the some things we can control. Here are some questions, thoughts, facts and ideas for us both to consider:

Why do I think the way I think?

This question sounds pretty basic. But sometimes, our perspectives are so ingrained that we forget what they're based on. In the last few months, I've heard good people I care about say things ranging from, "Men are pigs" to "Women are crazy." I've heard "Democrats are evil" and "Right-wing religious people are so ignorant." For the record, I don't personally agree with any of those statements...but when I've heard them from others, I've wanted to ask them this simple question, "Why?"

Often, we think certain things simply because we always have. Maybe because we were hurt in the past. Or we believe something simply because our families raised us to think that way.

And maybe what you and I think is actually right--I personally just feel it's important to own what you think--and to really understand what it's grounded in.

[Important sidenotes for Christians: In the quest to know why you think what you think, you're probably going to look at the Bible for guidance (and I hope you do). The Bible has a lot to say about topics I've heard discussed recently--answers for questions like, "How does God view the poor? The rich? Whose job is it to help those in need?", "How does the Bible talk about the role of government (kings)?", "What's God's perspective on men? Women?" or "How does the Bible talk about work? Money? My life's purpose?"

But the Bible is referred to as a sword for a reason--its truth is sharp and can pierce your heart--or it can be dangerous if you view it through the lens of, "How can I use Scripture to prove my point?" (See "Google faith" post.) I'm not going to use this post to tell you what I think (that kind of defeats the point of encouraging you to take responsibility for it yourself!), but I would challenge you to look at the Bible honestly--and if you have questions, to talk with Christian leaders you respect.]
How do I spend my time?

Time is one resource that's distributed equally to every living person on this planet--we all have 24 hours in a day, 7 days a week and 365 days each year. But what are we doing with it?

If you asked most people about their goals, you'd hear, "Spending more time with my family", "Building stronger relationships", "Growing in my faith," "Helping people in need" or "Getting in shape."

But do we make time to pursue the things that really matter to us?

A lot of people end up wasting time...watching TV, surfing the Internet, staying in the wrong job...instead of viewing time as an asset to help them reach their goals. I'm not advocating a life of constant busyness (that's stressful!), but taking responsibility for how you use your time (and yes, sleep can be good and healthy, too). :)
How do I spend my money?

If you're a pastor or leader reading this

The Emmys, the Bible and the grace of giving

Washington Women's Employment and Education

has

The bottom line? Real change starts with you and me individually--taking personal responsbility for our perspectives, our time and our wallets. Let's not worry about stuff we can't control. Let's not put all of our faith in John McCain or Barack Obama. Let's put our trust in God--and our God-given ability to make choices. Let's start to take responsibility...seriously.

Women and politics

noreply@blogger.com (Jonita) — Wed, 22 Oct 2008 04:13:00 +0000

I'm thankful for Hillary Clinton.

I'm thankful for Sarah Palin.

I know those two ideas seem contradictory--or maybe shocking to some of you. Let's be clear--I don't agree 100% with either candidate. But I hope both of them have helped pave the way for female leaders--in politics, in business, in non-profits and more.

It's not that I don't respect or value male leaders--I do. And I'm not some wild and crazy feminist pushing for women to rule the world no matter what their qualifications or values. But I think women have something unique to bring to the table, the boardroom, the pulpits and the podiums across the globe.

Do I think the glass ceilings are gone? All it takes is a look at the campaigns and media portrayals of Clinton and Palin to see that the glass ceilings for female leaders still exist in 2008.

Female leaders have been judged more on their personalities than their platforms--Clinton is labeled "too tough" and "too harsh," while Palin is "too folksey."

They've been judged more on their looks than their records--critiqued for their suits, hairstyles and eyeware. At one point (the early Clinton years), Hillary was "too plain" or "kind of nerdy", while Sarah has been dubbed "a hot babe" and "Caribou Barbie."

Part of me wonders if it is a "glass ceiling" or more of a "sticky floor"? In other words, are women held back by male chauvinism or do we hold ourselves back?

Here are some things I think we as women can do to help ourselves and each other:

1. Stop critiquing women you like or don't like based on their appearance. (And if you are a woman, include yourself in this category.)

2. For every compliment you give another woman on her appearance, think of something else you can compliment about her skill, talent, leadership ability, character, etc.

3. Know that you have something to contribute to whatever sphere of influence you have. If you're invited to a business meeting, speak up and share your ideas. You are a unique person with distinct talents, skills and knowledge to bring to your role--as a friend, employee, volunteer, wife, mother, etc. Statistically, a lot of women have strong "people insight," the ability to see the big picture, think creatively, express themselves well verbally--if you have these skills, use them.

4. Have confidence in your leadership ability. I've seen some female leaders who, instead of making small decisions they're capable and empowered to make, constantly second-guess themselves or try polling others--when their team members are thinking, "Can't they just make a decision?!?"

5. Learn how to delegate or challenge the status quo when appropriate. Sometimes saying, "I don't think doing X makes sense for our organization. Here's why..." can save your organization money, time and resources. Yet often, women seem to feel as if they are "order takers" who have to go along doing the grunt work for whatever task their (predominantly male) managers request.

On the flip side, sometimes managers are thankful to be challenged on their thinking--your diverse opinion and creative ideas may be a huge asset to them. I've heard some say things to the effect of, "I hadn't thought about that perspective before...but that approach really makes sense."

6. Don't be afraid to try new things. More than men, I think women can be held back by their own fear a and downplay their stengths--a deadly combination. "I can't apply for that job because I don't have the degree required" or "I can't go to college now. I have kids." If you have a desire or a dream to do something new, go for it. A lot of guys seem to have this competitive, know-how spirit (at least in the workplace) that helps them to advance--maybe it's the same trait that causes them not to ask for directions when they're lost on trips. :) I think we as women can learn something from their confident approach to tacking challenging situations.

7. Encourage and help other women to succeed. If you are a leader, be a mentor to the next generation of women. Help them to learn from your mistakes or challenges. Listen to them and encourage them.

Who knows? Maybe we can clean up that sticky floor.

Fun Starbucks cup quote of the day

noreply@blogger.com (Jonita) — Tue, 14 Oct 2008 23:48:00 +0000

"When I was young I was misled by flash cards

that xylophones and zebras were much more common."

- Amy-Elyse Neer (Artist & Starbucks customer, San Jose, CA)

Cool things lately

noreply@blogger.com (Jonita) — Sat, 11 Oct 2008 19:02:00 +0000

Sole amazing shoe find: Black heels from Target - Who says you can't be a little sassy at work? (At least with your shoes!) These black pumps by Isaac Mizrahi prove that chic doesn't have to be expensive--and hot (these are higher than they look--and shiny black patent) doesn't have to be trashy.

Billionaire with a brain & heart: Warren Buffett - Okay, so he's not my normal type :) , but I think Warren Buffett is a cool guy for several reasons--he gives big (largest donation to the Bill & Melinda Gates Foundation), he's smart, he's savvy when it comes to investments, and he's confident. At a time when many people are afraid about money, Buffett exemplified confidence by injecting over $5 billion into Goldman Sachs. This one simple act showed people that one of the world's smartest investors believes in a good company with strong fundamentals--he has faith that our economy will get better and that other investors will start to get rational about their investments instead of being driven by fear.

Starbucks drink: Salted caramel hot chocolate - Careful kids, this drink could be lethal. I know it sounds a little weird--but it's amazingly good. Just reserve it for special occasions--or pretend you don't care about nutrition facts.

Hanging with friends: Season of showers - In the past month or so, I've gone to some type of shower (baby, bridal, engagement) almost every week. It's been exciting to catch up with old friends, make new ones and celebrate some exciting occasions.

Crazy video clip: Opera singing by Wisit from "Top Design" - I don't really know how to explain this...except to say that it makes me laugh every time I watch its hypnotic weirdness.

Books: The Post-Secret series - Recently, I read through several Post-Secret books compiled by Frank Warren. Basically, he asked random people to submit their secrets--some of them are funny, some are really serious and some just make you think. But if you're like me and generally curious about people, it's worth checking out.

Music: Love Jackson Waters lately. Also check out new Brit import Adele--I like the song "Chasing Pavements."

Something I hope never to see at Champions Centre: "Renewed mind is the key" dance There are no words. :)

Think. Speak. Act.

noreply@blogger.com (Jonita) — Thu, 02 Oct 2008 19:01:00 +0000

"How would you react...if you won the lottery?"

"How would you react...if you lost your job?"

"How would you react...if a new position opened up at work and you and your best friend were both interested in applying?"

I was sitting oh-so-innocently in my Toastmasters' club meeting yesterday when the last question was asked of me. It was part of our weekly "Table Topics" exercise where we are asked a question and told to speak "off the cuff" for at least a minute without ums, ahs and filler words.

It's tougher than you think. But what stood out to me yesterday was the "How would you react...?" theme.

You and I may not ever win the lottery, lose our jobs or compete with a friend for a new position. But everyday, I think someone (even if it's solely God) asks us, "How would you react...?" in some form or another.

I thought about that basic question a lot yesterday--especially when we were talking about politics at young adults' group.

When I thought about living as a Christian in a way that honors God, I came up with three key steps to decision-making. I don't always follow them, but I hope this post (or even the process of writing it!) will help you and I as we make key choices in our lives. So here goes:

Think.

This seems simple. But how many times do we make decisions by "going with the flow" with what friends, co-workers or family members do? How easily do we buy in to someone else's logic--whether it's a teacher, pastor, professor or newscaster--without digging for the truth ourselves?

God gave us brains. I think He likes--and even expects--us to use them. He is the source of truth, so when we search for real truth, we are actually pursuing God, getting to know Him and His thoughts better. I think He absolutely loves it when we have a passion to know more (just as long as we always recognize we can never know it all!).

What does this mean in real life? Knowing what the Bible says. Looking for hard facts uncluttered by someone else's perspective (and those can be tough to find--even in the news!). Owning my personal responsibility to continually pursue wisdom. For me, one of the key messages of Anthem last night was, "Know what you believe and why. Look at the facts about the candidates (like their voting records). Look at the Bible for what it says, not just what you want to hear (see my past "Google faith" post for reference)." I love that.

Speak.

Part of decision-making does involve speaking with others. First, it should involve talking to God--praying and asking for wisdom and clarity throughout the whole decision-making process. But I think it also can involve seeking the counsel of people you trust.

That may sound contradictory to my first point. But there's a big difference between aimlessly following the herd and truly having your own opinion while remaining open to hear what other trusted people in your life have to say.

Sometimes speaking means standing up for what you believe in. Having the courage to talk about tough things in a kind way. Sharing what you believe or feel with people who might reject you.

Act.

Knowing what you think or talking about it is good--but incomplete. I believe our actions are a critical part of the equation, but action is often left out of decision making.

For example, there are a lot of Christians who believe in helping those in need. They think it's right. They talk about how important it is. But when given the opportunity to actually volunteer and serve people in the community, they don't show up. They don't give financially to their own churches or non-profit organizations that serve the poor. (And as a sidenote, it's not a big surprise to me that politicians can be hypocritical in this area, too.)

I'll be honest in the fact that I'm not a huge fan of political grandstanding--I have close friends on both sides of the political spectrum. I've found myself irritated in this election season with how some people go on and on bashing politicians on "the other side."

And then I did a quick heart check.

Because as much as I don't like heated debates, at least I have friends who are passionate about what they believe. They're going to vote. They're going to talk to other people about voting. They're going to help other people register to vote. They're going to campaign for people they believe in.

There is something much worse--apathy. In this country, we have freedom. It's a rare privilege. In so many places around the world, people don't have a voice (especially if you're a woman, a Christian or a minority). Thousands of people throughout history have given their lives so that you and I can live in this freedom--so we can vote.

And millions of us act like we don't care. Millions of Americans don't vote.

Connecting the dots...

I hope if you're reading this, you don't think it's just about politics, Christianity or a strange group called Toastmasters (and if you're wondering - no, we don't cook toast in our meetings). :)

For me, this post is about decisions--and decisions define our destinies.

Starbucks quote of the day: Arrogance and empathy

noreply@blogger.com (Jonita) — Wed, 01 Oct 2008 23:42:00 +0000

"Insensitivity makes arrogance ugly;

empathy is what makes humility beautiful."

- Renford Reese, Ph.D.

Confidently speaking...

noreply@blogger.com (Jonita) — Wed, 24 Sep 2008 06:09:00 +0000

"It's all about confidence--in the markets, in ourselves, in life," the reporter said.

As I sat channel-surfing the evening news, this statement caught my attention. I'm relatively new to working in the investment industry. But the past few weeks, it's been interesting to see how fear plays such a key role in the financial markets...and in our everyday lives.

Take public speaking, for example. Statistics show us that people are more afraid of public speaking than they are of death. Seriously. But consider how much of our lives is determined by how well we speak and project confidence to others--in a job interview, on a first date, when talking to others about God?

The importance of confidence? HUGE!

One thing I've thought about lately is that in times of uncertainty, it's important to know what or who you can be confident in. What do you really know for sure? What (or who) can you really trust?

I love that the Bible speaks to our everyday needs and emotions. This past weekend, our pastor read this verse that I wish so many Christians, investors, women, men, teenagers really believed as true:

So do not throw away your confidence;

it will be richly rewarded.

You need to persevere

so that when you have done the will of God,

you will receive what he has promised.

(Hebrews 10:35-36)

God doesn't promise that life will be without problems or uncertainty. But He does promise to be there with us--to be the same, unchanging good, loving, gracious God every single moment of every single day. He promises that if we follow His word and walk in His will, we'll receive the benefits of what he's promised us.

Of all things to have confidence in, being confident in God and His promises sounds pretty good to me.

The truth about secrets

noreply@blogger.com (Jonita) — Fri, 12 Sep 2008 19:15:00 +0000

“My boyfriend thinks I love football. The truth? I don’t know the difference between a first down or a third down, the Raiders or the Patriots…and I don’t really care."

“I don't like my job. And I feel horrible even writing that when so many people would die to have what I have. It's a dream job...but it's not my dream."

"I'm in love with my best friend. I'm pretty sure she likes me, too, but she's into the whole 'the guy asks the girl out' kinda thing. I'm not afraid of commitment or even that our friendship will change. I'm afraid that she'd settle for me...that I may not be the kind of guy she deserves."

I stood in the middle of Hudson News at O'Hare reading secrets like this compiled in "Post Secret: Extraordinary Confessions from Ordinary Lives" by Frank Warren. I don't know the full backstory on the book, but it looks like the author may have just found some of the secrets--there was a mix of drawings on napkins, letters, e-mails. As I flipped through the pages, I felt like I was eavesdropping on other people's lives...but I was completely sucked in to the secrets of strangers.

Perhaps it was largely due to curiosity. But just flipping through that book, I thought about a few truths I know about secrets:

We're more alike than we're different.

What were most people's secrets about? Love. Family. Purpose. Friendship. Faith. As different as we are, most of us care most about the big things in our lives...and I think that's pretty cool.

Writing a secret can be cathartic. But think carefully when you hit "send", "post" or mail that letter.

I personally know that writing your thoughts can be empowering, rewarding, or even cathartic. Writing something down on paper or on screen makes your thoughts more real--they actually become tangible ink on paper, words on a screen. When you write, you are trying to make sense of your experience--capturing your ideas into words. However, I am also really glad that there are letters I haven't mailed, e-mails I haven't sent or blog posts I haven't published. I wonder how many of the contributors to Post Secret wish their secrets never saw the stands at Hudson News, Borders or your local library.

If someone entrusts you with a secret, guard it carefully ...

I just did a quick Bible search on the word "secret" and one of the references that stood out to me said, "A gossip betrays a confidence, but a trustworthy man keeps a secret" (Proverbs 11:13). Learning to be quiet or stop a gossip train isn't easy for everyone. But by being a good listener and guarding the secrets of others, you become a trusted friend/family member and ally.

... But the truth always comes out.

This was something my Dad used to tell us while we were growing up--mainly to help us end major family dramas--like cheating at Candyland (you know who you are, middle sister!). But I think he was definitely right. Ultimately, God knows everything about all of us, so there aren't really any secrets. And from what I've seen, secrets--like motives--often surface in the real world, too. I think by teaching us this, my Dad was teaching us to live honest lives of integrity--to be who we said we were. It's been a good lesson to learn.

Some secrets shouldn't be secret.

When I flipped through the Post Secret book, I was a bit surprised that some of the entries were secrets. People wrote such beautiful things about how much they loved a spouse, children, parents, etc.--and I can only hope that those secrets were shared with the people who were so appreciated, respected or loved.