All the moms know that there are only eight coveted parts but we hear that there will be two casts.  I see moms looking around the room and silently counting.  The girls continue to exit the audition one by one.  I’m exhausted so I can’t imagine how tired the girls still in the studio are.

After over two hours I see her emerge from the studio.

I was afraid to look at her but then I realized, “She’s not upset.”

She had a huge smile on her face.  Could it be?  Did she get the part?  I wouldn’t allow myself to believe it.  She never spoke a word.  Then, the director approached the remaining mothers and told us that these sixteen girls had been chosen from a group of over one hundred thirty to perform with their company.  She continued to stand silently with complete composure just smiling.  As I stood and listened to our rehearsal instructions, I could barely keep back the tears of joy.  All I could concentrate on was the fact that my baby was going to perform with a professional ballet company!  Was I dreaming?  Could this be true?”

The pride I felt was overwhelming.  We solemnly walked to the car and finally my rock was bubbling over with excitement.  As we drove, she began telling me every minute detail of the arduously exhausting audition.  Everything you have ever heard about the dance world and auditioning came to fruition for my eleven year old daughter.  To say the least, it was a tough time.  However, she survived and she accomplished her goal.  She told me she walked in the studio and the instructors placed all the girls in groups.  As they began to dance, the instructors regrouped some and sent others out of the audition.  She said she could tell they were moving her up from one group to another and eventually she was in the group that was picked as the first cast.  She could hardly believe it.

It was almost too much to comprehend.  But, we had to move on because the very next day, she was auditioning for the Company’s Summer Intensive Program….

Continued in:  It’s Official:  Part III. Stay tuned!

Watching your teen go through a break up is not easy!

How many of you have teens that have fallen “head over heels for someone?”  I guess you could call it the first time your teen was truly interested in someone.  You may also say your teen’s first “true love.”  Whatever the case may be, your teen is absolutely crazy over this other person.  My friend’s son was dating someone for a couple of months until she wanted the relationship to end.  The disappointment was so overwhelming.  The breakup caused her son to feel very upset and emotional.

My friend encouraged her son to hang out with his friends and attend some athletic events to keep his mind off things.  After a few weeks he seem to be over the breakup.  However, the girl he was dating decided to start sending texts and invites him out to dinner.

Meanwhile, my friend tells her son to ignore her texts and not to see her. What is your opinion of my friend giving her son advice?  My advice to my friend was to let her teen make his own choices. She can be there for her son if he wants to discuss his issues, but he needs to learn for himself how to handle the mishaps in his relationships.  My friend wants to control her son’s feelings and actions in this relationship which seems to be the wrong idea.  She just needs to be there if he needs her.  I know she is having a hard time seeing her son hurt and possibly foreseeing more heartache, but the truth is teens need to experience tough situations.

What is your take on it? How much involvement should parents have in teen love?

I’m lucky Katie keeps up with her work and is driven enough to take care of things on her own.  So I try to be careful not to take it for granted.  I try to tell her frequently how much I appreciate that report card days are not frightening days.  I usually know exactly what to expect and, often, Katie will take time during a break to text me a picture of the report card once it’s in her hands.

We have always celebrated the girls’ good report cards.  The tradition is that when the report cards are good, we go out for dinner.  I know when I get that text message from Katie that she wants assurance that we’ll be taking her to celebrate.

So Tuesday evening last week found us at our favorite Mexican restaurant, El Cerro Grande, enjoying a delicious dinner with Katie and her boyfriend.  The food was delicious and the company was good.  I felt like the luckiest mom in the world.  My kid is happy, healthy, and doing well in school.  She is happy to celebrate the milestones and moments with her parents.  What more could a mom want?

It doesn’t really matter how you choose to recognize and celebrate the successes in your teens’ lives.  But it really does matter that you take time to celebrate and congratulate.  It’s a big deal when things are going well.  Read the newspaper or watch the news if you need a reminder that not all teens are doing good things.

How do you celebrate the successes with your teens?

High school is a big change for some teens.

Lately, Max has been reminding me that he will be in high school next fall.  I am surprised he is bringing it up so often. Maybe he is not just reminding me but coming to grips with it himself.

Will high school be a big change for Max?  In terms of meeting new people, maybe not.  After all, most of the kids who will be in next fall’s freshman class are kids he has known since second grade.  A lot of students who will be seniors at that time are Gus’s pals so Max will know several upperclassmen as well.

He may be anticipating harder classes, a different type of schedule and having to learn his way around a new school.  There will be new teachers. Max may very likely be taught by a few who taught his older brother.

Gus had a successful first year of high school before leaving to finish at NCSSM.  He made new friends and good impressions on many of his teachers. I know that Max looks up to Gus – as little brothers sometimes do.  I wonder if Max is thinking about how he will make his own mark in high school as himself and not someone else’s little brother.  Younger siblings may struggle with this same situation more often than not

There is a lot going on in high school besides academics. I expect that Max will start to discover and showcase his own talents and abilities come the fall.

Got a teen heading to high school soon?  Do they share any concerns?

In this third and final chapter (blog post), there is a happy ending, and my Basset Hound, Happy, was happy about that. The lost black lab camped out with us for the weekend. Austin was growing fond of the lost pet and hoped that I would not be able to connect with the owner as he has been asking for another dog for 2-3 years.

The low to the ground Basset has never been quite what he wants for a dog – he wants a large, rambunctious, roll and tumble dog to expend some of his energies with. Meanwhile, I continued with my research and endeavor to restore this very nice dog to its owner. Multiple attempts to reach city animal control/ “dog pound” were to no avail, especially on the weekend and reaching the voice mail with NUMEROUS automated options got old fast.

The rabies tag had the name of the Virginia town where it was issued, so on Monday morning, I began making phone calls there and was at last assisted by a very nice woman who led me to the city’s treasure’s office, which issues the tags. They put the number into their computer system and discovered the dog owner’s name but were unable to give me that number due to confidentiality issues, but they indeed tried to reach her – to no avail either due to a  non-working number.They took it one more step and asked the town police to check the previous residence and somehow confirmed that indeed the owner had relocated to our fair city.

The trail was getting warmer. I checked the phone book and information to attempt to locate a number – no such thing. My neighbor set forth checking for her name on Facebook, while I phoned our local police department for help to locate her. They found in their system a residence but again, a non-working phone number. I left my name and phone number with the police in case she called them also.

My neighbor found her on Facebook and left her a generic message there. We waited…. Two hours later, I received a text from the owner, Ashlie, who had herself finally contacted the police as she too could never reach a “human” at the animal control department. She spoke to the very same officer whom I had spoken to 2 hours before.

The officer gave her my number and she called me to ask if I had her dog. Two hours later she arrived at our house with her two young children to re-claim her pet. Unbelievably, I felt a little sad that our new friend would depart as abruptly as he had arrived to us on Friday afternoon. The dog was ecstatic to see its owner and the children – I knew it was the right thing to happen. Austin came home from soccer practice just in time to see “Boomer” as he had named him, depart.

The story was that the dog was being temporarily kept by the owner’s sister while the owner was getting settled into her new location and had accidentally escaped. And, it became apparent that the owner and children are struggling through some very difficult, even dire economic circumstances. I immediately felt ambivalent to see the dog go back home given the story she gave me. Maybe I should not have tried to find her, I thought for a minute; I could give the dog a safe, secure and even pampered lifestyle. Who knows yet what will become of it.

But I saw how the dog jumped for joy when he saw his owner and she was so happy to be reunited with the pet too. Her children squealed with glee when the dog jumped into the vehicle. The money strapped woman offered me $15 that she had in her pocket as a reward. I almost choked, but instead went inside the garage to get the 20lb new bag of dog food to give her to take along. She was grateful, humble and relieved. Another small life chapter has yielded a huge human and canine experience.

Are you ever amazed at how small unexpected occurrences can produce such heart warming stories?

ABT is a world renowned and nationally recognized ballet training program.  She is very, very excited to be expanding her horizons and taking this huge leap out of her normal comfort zone.  However, she is accustomed to this type of intense scrutiny and ready for the challenge.

I remember three years ago when she walked into her first “real” audition at Carolina Ballet.  She was the new girl.  She was all alone.  She didn’t know anyone.  She walked to the barre and began her warm-ups as the rest of the dancers began sizing up the new kid.  All the other girls knew each other, many danced at the same studio, and all of them had been in previous Carolina Ballet productions.  She was auditioning for a part in their performance of “Cinderella”.  The audition was beyond intense and very grueling .

The moms waited in the lobby and watched as girl after girl exited the studio in tears.  I watched these young children as they searched for their mother’s comforting hug and my heart sank each time.  These words kept going through my mind, “What would I say when she came out in tears?  Oh, she won’t cry.  She’s a rock.  She won’t allow others, especially strangers, to see her lose control.  She’ll hold it together until we get in the car.  Man, is it ever going to be a long drive home.”

On and on these thoughts consumed my thinking.   At this point each mom is looking at the others.  I see them thinking the same thing.  All the moms know that there are only eight coveted parts but we hear that there will be two casts.  I see moms looking around the room and silently counting.  The girls continue to exit the audition one by one.  I’m exhausted so I can’t imagine how tired the girls still in the studio are.

After over two hours I see her emerge from the studio……Continued in:   It’s Official:  Part II

Can't We Just Get Along?

Being that my son is an only child, I had to turn to some friends for input on how their teen relates to their siblings.   I have a friend with two teen daughters who fight about everything.  My friend claims it doesn’t matter how trivial the issue.

One of the biggest complaint is borrowing things from each other and not asking. They both like to go into each others rooms to take clothing, jewelry, and make-up.  My friend claims this is an every day battle.  Both girls are always invading each others space.

So what does she do to maintain order in the household?  My friend knew it was her responsibility to keep the peace and devise a plan for both teen girls.  Therefore, she came up with some ground rules for the girls to agree on.  Rule #1.  Always ask before taking an item.  Rule #2. Respect your sister’s right to say “No you can’t use or borrow an item.”  Rule #3. Respect your sister’s privacy and her property.

What happened after both girls agreed to abide the rules? Their relationship improved and they didn’t do alot of argueing and fighting.  Teens need to realize sooner or later, they will have to learn to get along with a lot of different people with different personalities.  So I guess you could say it starts at home when there are siblings in the same household.

How many of you have siblings that fight about everything? How many of you have siblings that are very close?

Happy, our resident Hound

It turns out that not only am I super mom, but a crafty detective as well. I guess I have some idea now of what I may do in retirement or possibly in the “next life”. So, Friday afternoon kicks off with totally re-arranged plans for the week-end with the abrupt arrival of an unknown quite large frisky male black lab dog. He, of unknown origin and name is to lodge with our family over the week-end and who knows how long.

You have to understand, this was also much of a disturbance to our gentle, sedate Basset Hound, Happy, who has been an “only dog” for over 8 years now. She kept looking at me as if to say, “How could you let this happen to our peaceful little setting”? Austin and Lydia and numerous friends coming and going thought it was a grand idea to adopt another pet. Adopt? I did not set out to secure another pet!

Straight away, I began to plot what to do to try to locate the owner. To make things more complicated, the dog was found at a location on the complete opposite side of town – what would be the likelihood of its owner just cruising by  to try to find it? I got online and placed an add in the newspaper – great idea, but the ad would not publish until the following Tuesday. I consulted a neighbor, a dog lover and owner of multiple dogs and familiarity with all dog matters.

She suggested also a posting in a local online “yard sale” site – and so I did. Austin’s friend Blake had already taken the dog by a Vet to have it scanned for a chip – none existed inside the dog. The afternoon was waning and darkness settling in. There was nothing to do but to check the dog in to our garage bed and breakfast inn.

Blankets were prepared, lighting adjusted, food brought forth, water placed by bedside, and comfort measures were offered. By the way, this was a really nice dog! It was pretty, well taken care of, sweet and even mannerly. He was grateful to be tucked in for the week-end. Indeed, he did have on a collar, but there was no identification other than a rabies tag with the name of a town in Virginia and a 4 digit number……. ah, the detective work begins!

Can you believe there is more to this story? Stay tuned in the next blog for the height of the mystery and the grand reunion with the owner 3 days later! Hee! Hee!

I was having some stress already about the cost of owning teens lately.  For one thing, my cell phone bill is atrocious.  I won’t give you any actual numbers, but for this mom, they are shocking.  And right now there is only one smart phone and two not-so-smart phones on our bill.  So I am in the process of shopping for a new cell phone carrier to replace the current one.  Good news:  I found a carrier where we can have three new smart phones for the same price we’re currently paying.  Bad news:  It will cost us a bundle to make the switch by the time we buy (discounted) new phones, insurance, and start-up fees.  Yikes.

And the cell phone bill is just the beginning.  I also have to clothe two teenage girls.  I am sure you can imagine the pain.  Katie has always loved to shop, particularly for clothes.  It’s dangerous to run an errand with Katie, and I am often shocked by the number of items we end up leaving the store with when we set off to look for one single item.  And I do say no to a lot.  I am very aware that Katie is pretty mild when it comes to girls and shopping.  I know there are moms out there who are in much deeper water when it comes to shopping with their teen girls.

Then there was the bill for oral surgery that we recently paid.  It’s hard to believe we paid someone so much for that week of misery that poor Katie went through.  We’re glad she had such good care and we’re glad to get rid of those wisdom teeth.  But I wasn’t quite so glad to get rid of all that cash!

But the final straw, the one that broke this mother’s back, was the insurance bill that just came in the mail.  It’s the first one that covers a full year with two teen drivers.  Fortunately Lexie’s bill has gone down a lot since she’s had her license for a couple of years.  But the bill to insure Katie, the less-than-a-year’s-experience driver about made me faint.  I knew it was coming.  I really knew how much it would be.  But to see that amount added to the amount for the other three drivers in the house and the other three cars that go along was nothing short of shocking.

The reality is I can’t get rid of my kids.  And, despite the expense and the wear and tear on my brain, I really wouldn’t want to.  But I sure could do without all the damage to our bottom line!

How do you handle the high price of having teenagers?!

"Do you hear me now?" Do teens develop hearing problems?

I think Max has a hearing problem.  Lately, it seems he hears only half of what I tell him.  For instance, the other day as I headed out to work I reminded him of the several chores I wanted done since he had the day off from school.  I spoke quite clearly to him when I looked in his room to tell him I was leaving.  “Max,” I said, “Remember to do the vacuuming, run the dishwasher, do your laundry, and take out the trash.” He was still in bed at the time but he looked right at me and even nodded his consent.

Max called me at work to see what time I’d be home so he could get the chores done before then, as is his way.  I thought things were squared away.  When I got home, I found they were not.

I pointed out to Max that the dishwasher hadn’t been run and why not?  The trash hadn’t been taken out and why not?  He looked at me incredulously.  “You didn’t tell me to do that,” he claimed.

I’ve voiced my dismay about chores left undone with Max already.  If I need to, I will go back to leaving a list.  Oh, and I’ve discovered that even if Max removes one of his IPod ear buds, there is still music blaring into his other ear.  So if he is listening with one ear, does he only hear half of what I say?

But why it is when Max does hear me loud and clear it is often the times when I say things I wish I hadn’t or the times I absent-mindedly say “OK” to getting a pricey takeout dinner?

Anyone else have a teen with selective hearing?