Really? I'm a Mom?

Never Give Up

noreply@blogger.com (An Imperfect Momma) — Fri, 17 Feb 2012 01:13:00 +0000

This week the amazing Bloggess (if you don't know her. Go there immediately she is hysterical...though she has a potty mouth. But you are guaranteed a laugh when you go there.), offered up a picture of her newest member to her collection. Juanita.

She let us mere mortals take that picture and use as we want. Here are some for you:

I don't know the story of Juanita....but here's what I think happened to her.

She went down fighting (& looking mighty fierce as Laura Ingalls Wilder...might I add). She never gave up. So neither should you.

Don't forget how awesome you are.

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And please don't you ever forget, what a ninja you are.

You are a survivor - keep on surviving ... Beyonce

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Experience is a brutal teacher, but you learn. My God, do you learn. ... C.S. Lewis

Please vote for me as one of the top 25 blogs for postpartum depression? All it takes is two clicks. Please? I'll be your best friend!

Only me

noreply@blogger.com (An Imperfect Momma) — Tue, 14 Feb 2012 19:11:00 +0000

a coupla days ago, I woke up with a start.

Why?

Cause I heard a man over Diva's baby monitor say: Hello?

holy crap did that ever wake me up.

Obviously, after suffering a heart attack and breaking the world record for sprinting inside an apartment. I get to Diva's room.

As she starts to cry, I held my breath as I opened the door. I totally expected to see a herd of zombie ninja drug Lords in my daughters room (cause ya know they travel in herds).

Wha? Don't look at me like that. The Walking Dead started up again.

Apparently - we had picked up someones cell phone conversation.

Awesome.

Thank you strange man for giving me the only early morning heart attack.

Anyhow, I told Mr. Man. I expected him to respond with: "Ok then. Obviously I chose the wrong monitor. How about you go out and buy another one? One that wont pick up random cell phone conversations at odd hours of the morning."

Ha. Yeah. I like to dream.

His response? Yeah. We need a new monitor. But wait for me to go with you to get it. Cause we need to make sure we get the right one.

Translation: You spend money like you have it and I don't trust you with mine.

He's a mean suhckah. I know.

So the other night, cause I was feeling sick, I went to bed early.

9-ish. I know. I like to live it up.

Anyhow, 11:45 rolls around and I hear a high pitch giggle coming out of divas baby monitor. I literally jumped out of bed, totally expecting to see the twins from the shining in my room, and nothing.

I heard (and saw) nothing. I laid back down and held my breath.

As I closed my eyes, feeling the sleep start to take over again...boom. I hear a baby crying. It wasn't divas ~~bellows~~ ~~screech~~ cry so I just sat up.

Then I heard a boy laughing.

What the crap is happening to me?! Am I having hallucinations? Oh my God. what if its ghosts?

Wha? I was feeling lousy and the River REALLY screwed me up. No I will not be watching that junk again.

I heard a click, then the music from Diva's radio was coming through again.

I laid back down and waited.

CLICK

BZZZZZZZ

And you guessed it. The voices came back. This time they were speaking a different language...and I heard a couple speaking as well.

Did I have a stroke and not know it?

Yes. I really thought that.

CLICK

holy crap am I dying?

I sent a text to my husband quickly (he was at work). What the heck could he do? If I did have a stroke, Mr. Man would call me back asking what the crap I texted him. And yes. I really thought that.

Man. I'm screwed up. I even have a back up plan just in case I have a stroke.

CLICK

BZZZZ

A little boy was now speaking in a different language.

Hahahahahahahahahaha.

This boys laughter would be cute if it was 12 in the afternoon and not midnight. At midnight? It sounded like a zombie clown was leaning over my precious daughters crib planning on attacking any minute. (by the way. Click that link at your own risk. But I loved that movie....so that's why I linked to it. But so you know....I just may have nightmares tonight. There is nothing scarier than zombie clown. True story.)

"Oh man, oh man." The woman's voice finally making me think clearly.

"You ain't kidding lady." I really did talk back to the lady who had hijacked my baby monitor wave length thingie.

With my heart beating a million miles a minute...I opened my door & divas door. Logic had taken over. Obviously, we had picked up another monitor.

My husband texted me back. "Obviously we picked up another monitor. What are you gonna do?"

Well, at least I knew I didn't have a stroke.

I told him about opening the doors and then I went on twitter. Surely the great twitter would know what to do. It was my only turn to at midnight.

"Change the channel on the monitor" came the response.

DERF! Why didn't I think of that?

I checked....and still I heard the spooky boys voice and a baby whining.

I gave in turned off the monitor and; as I never in my life slept with my bedroom door open or unlocked, I spent the rest of the night picturing zombies, rats, the spider from the last Lord of the Rings movie and any other creepy, scary thing you can think of - crawling into my room.

Saddest longest sentence ever...right?

I hate PPA.

Please vote for me as one of the top 25 blogs for postpartum depression? All it takes is two clicks. Please? I'll be your best friend!

the F word

noreply@blogger.com (An Imperfect Momma) — Mon, 13 Feb 2012 13:42:00 +0000

Fries?

Have now become the bane of my existence.

No. not because that's the only thing monkey will eat.

No, that would be simple. I could totally live with that. I mean sweet potato fries are healthy for ya...ish. Right?

Nah, you see...its because of the way he pronounces...fries.

he said wha?!

Instead of saying fries....he says the "F" word.

As in....THE "F" word. As in, the one word that made your mother slap the stupid out of you the first time you said it...if you even dared to say it in front of her (ahem...I do not speak from experience there. Ahem). Anyhow, that "F" word.

I seriously have no idea how they sound the same to him. And by the way? He pronounces the "ck" sound perfectly too.

Funny right?

Not really.

Especially as he says it anytime we go through a drive thru (any drive thru)....and my window opens. ha. Who am I kidding? He's a toddler. He has only one volume. Deafening. He screams it every time.

Monkey: F---?

Oh and the fact that I am a Christian? Doesn't help things either.

Oh. My. Lord.

Bank drive thru Attendant: Hi. Can I help you?

Me: Ye-

Monkey: (while mommys window is wide open) Want F---! F---! F---! F---! F---!

I will not laugh I will not laugh I will not laugh

Starbucks drive thru attendant: That will be $5.57

Me: tha-

Monkey: (while mommys window is wide open) She f---? F---, F---! F---?! F---? F---!!!

And its not only when we are going through any drive through. Its anytime anyone mentions the dreaded word: "Fries"

I swear I am a good person

Church nursery worker: So we had fries from there ... and they were great!

Me: Really? I wa-

Monkey: f---? mine! F---! F---! F---! F---! F---!

I'm so glad we don't have one of those "Jesus loves you" bumper stickers. Ha. That would go over so well.

Me: God bless y-
Monkey: No f---? Want f---! F---! F---!

Yeah great example of God's love there.

But ya know...I kinda don't want him to learn the word right. Its funny to see peoples reactions.

For you

noreply@blogger.com (An Imperfect Momma) — Fri, 10 Feb 2012 13:56:00 +0000

You wanna know something?

I used to have one hero. It was my mom. She saved someones life on september 11 th. Long story...but she rocks.

But now? I got more heroes. Lots more. All of you surviving.

All of you fighting. You guys are my hero.

Source: google.com via Imperfect on Pinterest

And not only those women fighting postpartum depression. But those fighting any illness.

Mental, physical....whatever-al. You guys fighting to make it through the day?

Are all my heroes. You are all ninjas.

Keep on fighting.

Don't ever give up.

Cause?

There is hope.

There is always hope.

I know that this song is really supposed to be a romantic song....but to me? Its a love song to you. I am here for you. To make you smile, to make you laugh, to help you through the day.

Please vote for me as one of the top 25 blogs for postpartum depression? All it takes is two clicks. Please? I'll be your best friend!

bustin a move

noreply@blogger.com (An Imperfect Momma) — Thu, 09 Feb 2012 14:54:00 +0000

click for link

So ever since Diva was born, we have had her sleeping in our room.

Not in our bed, but in a pack n play next to our bed.

I dont get how people can sleep in the same bed as their kid.

I would never get any sleep cause I would be terrified of the morning news.

"Child smothered in her sleep by her mothers right boob."

not the way I think anyone would want to go. At least anyone sane.

Anyhow, she was doing, ha.....wait...like she had a choice. I am so freaking awesome. We were doing this for the first few months...cause well she woke up to eat at night.

But once she started sleeping through most of the night, we still kept her in there.

Why? Cause her dresser broke and we were using her...umm.....crib.

Maybe.

This may or may not be her bed.

Well, it took us a coupla months to get a dresser and we finally did!

But she stayed in our room in the pack n play.

Why?

Cause apparently if I left her alone in her room - the zombie drug lords that live in our apartment building would kidnap her or the millions of bugs that inhabit the earth would eat her face off (yeah PPA screws with your brain sometimes...ok a lot of the time).

So for a week and a half....she stayed in our room.

Now, don't look at me like that. Mr. Man didnt want her to go to the room either! I swear....maybe.

So, tuesday at her doctors appointment we talked about her sleeping and the doctor gave me a speech. She needed to learn how to soothe herself to sleep. Not the doctor. Diva. Thought I would clear that up. The doctor sleeps fine.

Soooo.........we had to let her cry it out.

We did it with monkey and I cried the whole first night.

I thought. Shoo...I's got this mess!

Yeah.....no.

By the end of the night....wait...would that be morning?

Ehh.....by the end. I gave up.

But last night?

I put a radio in her room. Played the classical radio station...and?

SHE SLEPT!

and more importantly?

SO DID I!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Thats right, y'all read that right.....my sleep is more important than hers! I mean I need to be on my best for this ~~brat~~ child. I need to remember the important stuff....like feeding and diapering and .... ya know, I dont know how to finish that sentence more sarcastically.....so boom!

Please vote for me as one of the top 25 blogs for postpartum depression? All it takes is two clicks. Please? I'll be your best friend!

Going out

noreply@blogger.com (An Imperfect Momma) — Wed, 08 Feb 2012 14:09:00 +0000

Someones getting ready to go out.

He's holding my bottle of PINK lotion for curly hair

Gotta style it for the ladies

I can't with this kid.

Please vote for me as one of the top 25 blogs for postpartum depression? All it takes is two clicks. Please? I'll be your best friend!

A conversation w mr man

noreply@blogger.com (An Imperfect Momma) — Tue, 07 Feb 2012 16:49:00 +0000

(loud fart)

us pre-babies. Don't we look so well rested?

Me: (throws down fork in frustration) really? Can you please stop farting at the dinner table?! That is so gross! And you need to be an example to monkey. You need to teach monkey not to fart in front of ladies.

Mr. Man: (still eating and starting to laugh) Thats not gonna happen honey, its a part of life. Every guy does it. Get over it

Me: that is not true! My dad taught my brother that and he doesn't fart in front of women.

Mr. Man: you don't know that

Me: okay that's true. But still.

(silent moment interrupted by another loud fart)

Me: Stop it! You are so nasty. (small silence) Ha. Okay. You didn't fart in front of me when we were dating.

Mr. Man: yes I did.

Me: no you didn't! You never farted in front of me!

Mr. Man: yes I did! Never in the car, but when we would walk I would.

Me: now, stop with your lies! I think I would have noticed if you farted! Randoms smells just dont come from anywhere buddy.

Mr. Man: Not all farts smell! Besides when we would walk outside, I would fart. A lot.

Me: Enough. I can't believe you want to act like a five year old.

Mr. Man: Yup.

oh the exhaustion

Seriously. Why do we always talk about farts??

Please vote for me as one of the top 25 blogs for postpartum depression? All it takes is two clicks. Please? I'll be your best friend!

lover man

noreply@blogger.com (An Imperfect Momma) — Sun, 05 Feb 2012 14:21:00 +0000

being a woman with (unfortunately) a rather low self esteem (and especially now as I fight with PPD); I wonder...

why does this man love me?

He's smart...

kind....

hysterical...

sexy...

and I could go on - but I wont gross you out with anymore of this gushiness.

But then it hit me.

Why does he love me?

I'm sexy and I know it

Cause I am the whole package.

The Queen. Of Awesomeness.

A ninja who fights postpartum depression and postpartum anxiety....and zombies...regularly.

Yeah...you wanna be me. I know it.

Please vote for me as one of the top 25 blogs for postpartum depression? All it takes is two clicks. Please? I'll be your best friend!

for you

noreply@blogger.com (An Imperfect Momma) — Fri, 03 Feb 2012 14:06:00 +0000

you know that voice that says:

Why should I bother? No one cares about me at all?

Well.........

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Yup. I do. I would totally notice if you weren't around. I would totally miss you. Not because you give me numbers. I dont care about that...okay I do. But I am working on not caring about that.

But seriously....I would notice and I would care. Even if you never comment I would notice and care.

So, this week I had a moment where I could have let myself dive into the pool of anger and depression. I was so hurt. But then an awesome thing happened that made me realize something very important. Its not only important for me to remember, but important for you too.

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Sometimes, in order for us to get better, we need to let certain things go. Yes, so much easier said than done, but we need to. Unfortunately, there are a lot of people who are ignorant, foolish, don't understand. Its not gonna be our job to make them understand. It is our job to take care of ourselves by ignoring them and clinging to the people that do matter.

Those fools? As my mom would say: Ya just gotta leave them to God.

And then those people that do matter? They will be there for you. Non-judgemental, loving and waiting for you with open arms...and hopefully some really good chocolate.

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And as always, please remember this:

Please vote for me as one of the top 25 blogs for postpartum depression? All it takes is two clicks. Please? I'll be your best friend!

it doesn't matter if your black or white

noreply@blogger.com (An Imperfect Momma) — Wed, 01 Feb 2012 00:57:00 +0000

sorry best picture I could get. She moves too dang much!

So my husband came home to tell me, that someone disclosed their fears to him. Apparently, they are worried that I am neglecting my kids.

Apparently because I have postpartum depression and at one time said I don't like my kids - boom I'm neglectful. But seriously....who likes their kids all of the time?!

Anyone who says they like their kids all of the time? Is a liar. Or a complete nutjob.

Anyhow, I was hurt to say the least. Who are they to say these things?

So I did what I would normally. Opened blogger and started to write.

It didn't make sense...so I erased everything and started to write again.

While I was writing, my husband was bathing monkey.

He called me over. It was time to dress monkey, and put his lotion on.

This kid has majorly sensitive skin, so I slather on aquaphor every night.

Its seriously the only thing that works on his eczema.

Anyhow, as I was putting lotion on my son...I was going over the post in my head.

"Gotta remember not to say their name. They don't have the ability to defend themselves. They cant defend themselves anyways cause they don't understand. They don't understand cause most people don't. This is why I need to do something. I need to be-"

This is when I finally noticed ... my son's olive skin was starting to turn white.

Instead of picking up the aquaphor....I picked up the desitin.

I laughed out loud and realized. Who cares what people think. Only Jesus, my husband and my kids matter. And they know the truth.

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Update: I was nominated as one of the TOP 25 blogs on postpartum depression! I am so flabberghasted! I am so honored! Thank you to whoever nominated me! Such a huge honor to be nominated, but even huger to be nominated amongst such wonderful women who have meant so much to me.

I would love to win that honor, so if possible....could you take a moment to vote for me? All you hafta to do is click the link and then click the thumbs up sign by Really? I'm A Mom? Please? I'll be your best friend!

http://www.circleofmoms.com/top25/top-postpartum-depression-mom-blogs-2012?trk=t25_top-postpartum-depression-mom-blogs-2012

not. funny.

noreply@blogger.com (An Imperfect Momma) — Mon, 30 Jan 2012 13:45:00 +0000

you know that commercial from TBS for family guy, with Stewie saying mum over and over?

No?

Here it is.

Did you last the whole 54 seconds? Ha. If you did you must be superwoman (or man if you are a guy...or woman if you are a guy that likes....ya know what? I'm just gonna stop here)

I hate this commercial. And my husband thinks its hysterical. Says to me: Why dont you like it? Its funny.

Well...this is why:

(Picture it. I'm in the kitchen, cooking dinner and tweeting of course, while monkey is in the living room ~~watching SuperWhy~~ coloring when...)

Monkey: Momma?

Me: I'm here sweetie. I didn't leave you.

Monkey: (2 seconds later) Momma? Momma? Momma? Momma? Momma?

Me: Yes, my love. I'm right here in the kitchen

Monkey: (running into the kitchen) Momma?

Me: See? I'm right here. I didn't leave ya.

Monkey: (3 minutes later) Momma?

Me: Still here monkeyman. I'm cooking dinner.

Monkey: (running to kitchen) Cookie?

Me: No. CookING. I am making your dinner.

(Monkey runs back to living room)

Monkey: (2 seconds later) Momma? Momma? Momma? Momma? Momma?

Me: Yes, my love. I'm right here in the kitchen

Monkey: Momma? Momma?

I finally gave up (cause I couldn't go through yet another round of this) and walked into the living room to see this:

Can you spot the monkey man?

Never a dull moment.

Please pardon our living room. Apparently we were ransacked by thieves who love to play with legos.

Please vote for me as one of the top 25 blogs for postpartum depression? All it takes is two clicks. Please? I'll be your best friend!

for you

noreply@blogger.com (An Imperfect Momma) — Fri, 27 Jan 2012 14:55:00 +0000

Although I dont approve of the wording...this is so true

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Source: Uploaded by user via Imperfect on Pinterest

There are many offensive things I have heard. The one that hurt the most was: You are going through this because you are weak.

No. We are not weak.

We are strong. Why? Cause of water:

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Just remember this:

And here is some hystericalness for ya

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Source: Uploaded by user via Imperfect on Pinterest

Please vote for me as one of the top 25 blogs for postpartum depression? All it takes is two clicks. Please? I'll be your best friend!

what God allows

noreply@blogger.com (An Imperfect Momma) — Thu, 26 Jan 2012 15:25:00 +0000

Kim from Mommy go something something wrote a post about God on Saturday.

Very thoughtful.

Made me start thinking. Why does God allow bad stuff to happen to good people???

Well, as a Christian, I understand God gave us free will. So we make our own choices. But what about those that we dont?

I know that Kim didn't choose to have Postpartum Depression or Bipolar 2. I know that I definitely didn't choose to have postpartum depression. I know that one of the best Christians I know and love, did not choose to develop AIDS. It was an accident. So why did God allow that to happen?

I tell ya, I've been struggling with this one for a while.

I can not tell you how many times I prayed that God would make this go away. That I would be normal. That my kid would have a mom that didn't want to kill herself. That my husband would have a wife that wasn't such an angry woman.

Why wouldn't God make it go away? Why didn't God make this all encompassing emptiness go away? How could He let me go through this?

What was so wrong about letting me be happy again?!

And I will tell you...there were times I doubted. And definitely times I was angry. But I kept on praying. Cause I knew.

I knew that this was happening for a reason, and that God would answer. I was sexually assaulted in high school. It is one of the many reasons I have difficulty making friendships. I looked up to heaven one night after it happened and screamed at God: WHY DID YOU LET THIS HAPPEN TO ME?! I DIDN'T DESERVE THIS!!! I was mad. But I heard nothing.

I went on living my life. I went to counseling. I learned that God could have let this happen because I was trying to do things on my own strength. That I wasn't reaching out to God. I listened. I was quiet. I thought - that must be it. He's a pastor. Though I really didn't get what he meant.

Then 2 years later, I spoke at a youth retreat about what I went through with the assault. I was shaking like a leaf. Afterwards? A young girl came up to me and thanked me for opening up. She was assaulted too. She got the help she needed.

Even with knowing this...I still felt that emptiness.

I remembered that poem Footprints.

But still felt that emptiness

Then last night, as I was staring at the ceiling cause that evil insomnia came to visit - I prayed. God. Why won't you fix me? Why can't I go to sleep? Why must I keep suffering through this? Why must my family keep suffering this? then I heard.

Okay, not an audible voice. But....I knew.

God is letting this happen - to get my attention.

He is going to use this at some time to help women going through this depression. And how I am gonna fight for women going through this. I am gonna be that ninja for those women who don't have the strength to fight. I wouldn't have even thought about helping postpartum depression sufferers if I didn't go through this.

But God is using this to tell me something else. He loves me. Oh how He loves me. He allowed me to go through this garbage to teach me.

Teach me to rely on Him. Teach me to help other women. To teach me so I can help other people going through this. He is teaching me to be stronger. A stronger Christian, stronger momma, and a stronger wife.

See? God is teaching me to be a ninja.
If you are like Kim, angry and hurt. Wondering why God wont answer you? Ask Him.

If you don't want to ask Him. Thats fine. I'll pray for you still.

Wow...heres a bowl full of seriousness. Don't worry. Funny stuff will be coming soon. Tomorrow of course is For you.

Please vote for me as one of the top 25 blogs for postpartum depression? All it takes is two clicks. Please? I'll be your best friend!

and stretch

noreply@blogger.com (An Imperfect Momma) — Wed, 25 Jan 2012 14:17:00 +0000

So one day, while Diva was in her swing...I heard my husband laughing hysterically.

I walked in from the kitchen to find my daughter doing this.

Raising her leg randomly.

Makes sense though right?

Cause sometimes, a girl just needs to stretch.

P.S. and just to let you know, she is 3-4 months old in this picture...but she still does it now. And we still dont know why

just like his momma

noreply@blogger.com (An Imperfect Momma) — Mon, 23 Jan 2012 14:13:00 +0000

I was cleaning up in the living room when monkey comes running in:

"momma, momma"

"Hold on monkey. I need to help Diva."

As he is waiting...and standing still mind you....

when he trips he likes to wait until we come to pick him up

He starts waving his arms and tipping over.

And then?

He falls over.

Klutzy.

Just like his momma.

With GFC going away in March, the only sure way to get some of my awesomeness is through email or my RSS feed. So go ahead and update already!

He loves us

noreply@blogger.com (An Imperfect Momma) — Sun, 22 Jan 2012 22:57:00 +0000

For you. Cause HE does love us

With GFC going away in March, the only sure way to get some of my awesomeness is through email or my RSS feed. So go ahead and update already!

cause you are loved

noreply@blogger.com (An Imperfect Momma) — Fri, 20 Jan 2012 14:26:00 +0000

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There are no ordinary people. You have never talked to a mere mortal. - C.S. Lewis

All week I had been saying to myself: Why can't I just be like everyone else? Why do I hafta go through this? Why can't I be normal? Why can't I shake this funk? Why me?

It just hit me. Why not me? I am strong. I am courageous and I am here. And I am gonna stay here for good.

I want you to hold on to that. I will be here and so will you.

Don't give up.

You are strong, you are courageous and you are beyond beautiful.

You must keep on praying for light. - C.S. Lewis

Things will get hard from time to time - but I will keep praying that God would show me the light at the end of the tunnel.

Cause it will come.

And? Dont ever give up...

It's hard to beat a person that never gives up. ― Babe Ruth

With GFC going away in March, the only sure way to get some of my awesomeness is through email or my RSS feed. So go ahead and update already!

#SOPAStrike

noreply@blogger.com (An Imperfect Momma) — Wed, 18 Jan 2012 13:20:00 +0000

Sooo....apparently I suck at technology more than I thought.

This site is apart of the protest, I just don't know how to make it dark.

If you have no idea whats happening: check this out.

or this.

holy bajoly

noreply@blogger.com (An Imperfect Momma) — Tue, 17 Jan 2012 15:09:00 +0000

so one day, I was changing monkeys diaper.

I am deep in thought when I quickly glance at his leg.

Oh my word.

He has a bump on his thigh.

Oh my goodness, he has a tumor.

Oh my gosh, something is wrong with my baby!

No, stop freaking Jess. It could just be an injury or something.

I take a closer look and.....

its his testicle.

Thats how awesome I am.

With GFC going away in March, the only sure way to get some of my awesomeness is through email or my RSS feed. So go ahead and update already!

and it goes like this

noreply@blogger.com (An Imperfect Momma) — Mon, 16 Jan 2012 21:45:00 +0000

But did I tell y'all?

We went to the store today.

Just me. and the creatures.

For the first time ever.

Yeah its time to bust a move!

With GFC going away in March, the only sure way to get some of my awesomeness is through email or my RSS feed. So go ahead and update already!

For you and me

noreply@blogger.com (An Imperfect Momma) — Fri, 13 Jan 2012 15:31:00 +0000

This past week I have gone through such a major funk.

So I need this bad.

I have no words of wisdom cause I need to hear it. So....hear ya go:

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Source: whereisthecool.com via Lea on Pinterest

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I am holding hard to this last one......here's to better days.

With GFC going away in March, the only sure way to get some of my awesomeness is through email or my RSS feed. So go ahead and update already!

passion

noreply@blogger.com (An Imperfect Momma) — Wed, 11 Jan 2012 13:12:00 +0000

She smiled as she watched him walk across the room.

God how she loved that man.

She bit her lip as he looked at her, she gave him her best come hither look.

yeah. I want you mister.

"What?" He asked, smiling at her.

"Yeah. You know." came her coy reply.

He laughed and continued cleaning the table.

She loved that he not only could cook....but he cleaned and didn't hafta be nagged to do it. Most of the time.

She looked down at her just clean body.

She was ready.

She again started staring at her man.

Oh God I love it when he wears that shirt.

It outlined his muscles so perfectly.

Busting through his shirt...his muscles just begged to be touched.

Held. Stroked. Spanked.

God she was ready to jump him.

WAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

She was quickly brought back to reality.

"Monkey. Stop poking your sisters eye. Be nice."

WAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
"Diva chill out, Mommys coming. Ouch dang it!"

WAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
She had stepped on the 4,450th lego that hour.

Quickly she swept it to the side to grab her daughter.

SQUISH!

"Great. I take a shower just to get Diva to spit up all over me. Again. Oh and great. She got it in my hair this time."

"hey at least its a good color on ya"

"Thanks funny man."

She sighed as monkey asked for the 50th time for the TV to be put back on. And whimpered as he whined and screamed when she said no. Again.

WAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!

Which of course - made Diva start to cry all over again.

"Hey, when the kids go to sleep.....do you wanna?"

Reality. Sucks majorly sometimes.

With GFC going away in March, the only sure way to get some of my awesomeness is through email or my RSS feed. So go ahead and update already!

for you friday

noreply@blogger.com (An Imperfect Momma) — Fri, 06 Jan 2012 15:07:00 +0000

Source: google.com via Imperfect on Pinterest

Better days will come

You are not alone

Sending you virtual hugs, real prayers and real love

Remember babysteps.

With GFC going away in March, the only sure way to get some of my awesomeness is through email or my RSS feed. So go ahead and update already!

things I miss cause of elmo

noreply@blogger.com (An Imperfect Momma) — Thu, 05 Jan 2012 14:22:00 +0000

- Kim Kardashian got married (I was apparenly the last person in america that found out someone wanted to marry.....uhh, anyone....from the kardashians)

- Did you know theres a show about Finding Bigfoot??!!

- Apparently theres a roadkill cookbook (I wish I was kidding about this)

- Shoo...theres a roadkill bbq fair...cookoff thing

- Billy Graham is still alive (shocker right?)

- So is Tony Bennett (so thought he died in the 90's)

- Kim Kardashian got divorced ... (I was floored. I mean they knew each other for a whole month. I totally did not see that coming)

- People are finally realizing the Kardashians are annoying nobodys

- And theres yet another modeling show called scouted...scouting...future sluts of america? ah...take your pick - they all sound just about right.

- What tomorrows weather will be

- Lindsay Lohan stood up Ellen (blasphemous I know)

- Theres a skunk whisperer (I really want to know what the heck that means)

- Almost missed my Big Fat Gypsy Christmas (greatest tradgedy averted)

- Apparently something happened to Rick...Uh...Something happened to the guy whos last name is Romney.

- the penn state scandal (well almost obviously)

- The arson fires in....uhh....somewhere. California right?

- The book of Tebow (totally don't know what that is but Mr. Man told me to put it in...and is laughing hysterically as I type this)

So all in all....

I ain't missed much.

With GFC going away in March, the only sure way to get some of my awesomeness is through email or my RSS feed. So go ahead and update already!

what the crap

noreply@blogger.com (An Imperfect Momma) — Tue, 03 Jan 2012 19:09:00 +0000

So I know I posted already today...and its a cute story...but I really need to vent.

Why can't people accept that I need medicine to work through this? I have postpartum depression.

Yes, I know that Mr. Man is the only opinion that I should care about - and even then not so much. But still.

to get those comments of: Hun, you really don't need it. You are probably just PMSing really badly. Just pray more.

Its like daggers. Daggers of accusation. Accusing me of being a whiner. An exaggerator. Like I am just a big wimp and I need to pick myself up by my bootstraps and get over myself. Accusing me of not having any faith. Why can't I have depression and be a Christian?!

Its like saying: you are just being exaggerative. You just want attention. You're fine. You don't need that. You just need to get up and exercise. You just need to get out more. You just need to pray more.

Oh, I'm sorry. I didn't realize this overwhelming funk that I've been in - this deep ache for being free from this prison of sadness and anger...this overwhelming, all consuming rage - could be solved by the exercise that I'm already doing!

its time like this that make me not want to tell anyone of my struggle. And its mostly cause - they change my thinking. They make me think...wait, what if I don't need this medicine? What if I am being ridiculous?

I am so tired of these judgemental holier than thou people who think they know everything!

But then I sit there and think - they dont know anything. How can I get angry at them? This is why I want to tell my story.

Sigh. I just wish I could get some help from somewhere. I just wish someone would understand.

I wish I wasn't standing in a room full of people feeling so very much alone and out of place. I wish I didn't feel like I am less of a person just because of this.

With GFC going away in March, the only sure way to get some of my awesomeness is through email or my RSS feed. So go ahead and update already!