REBTOZ

Have a Go Spaghettio! and Psychological Immunisation

2026-10-22T13:28:05.376+10:30

Ms. Kylie Smithers, Eductaor

Paxton Popoffalot of Wassup? News here. I’m speaking with Ms Smithers, a Rational Emotive Behaviour Educator in the fifth of five chats about Have a Go Spaghettio! an early childhood, Rational Emotive BehaviourTherapy based pedagogy for early childhood educators, counsellors and learners.

We were talking about helping the victim in the bullying dynamic when we last spoke. Would you like to talk to this Ms Smithers?

“I came across a quote attributed to Jonas Salk, creator of the polio vaccine who said to Martin Seligman,

"If I were a young scientist today, I would still do immunization. But instead of immunizing kids physically, I'd do it your way. I'd immunize them psychologically. I'd see if these psychologically immunized kids could then fight off mental illness better. Physical illness, too."

I found this interesting and in terms of Success Helper/Brain Friend thinking, or in REBT terms, rational thinking, unconditional self-acceptance would be the antidote to beliefs that undermine confidence i.e., conditional acceptance of self, a Success Stopper/Brain Bully habit of thinking. Once identified, the at risk victim, is given a strong dose of ‘I’m worthwhile crocodile’ attention,’ the Red Success Have a GoSpaghettio! Success Helper. “

What does this look like, how is this analogous to the idea of ‘immunisation? Asks Popoffalot.

“From what I can gather when one is immunised the body is rendered resistant to an infectious disease via vaccination. The vaccine ‘trains’ the immune system to recognise and fight viruses and germs that can harm us. Unconditional self-acceptance (Red Success Helper thinking) learning would be the ‘vaccine’ that ‘trains’ the mind to ‘know’ that a healthy ‘self’ doesn’t ‘need’ the approval of others. The child will learn to know that their sense of ‘OK-ness’ doesn’t rely on the assessment of others, they will develop confidence and this attitude will communicate to others strength and personal agency.”

So, teaching unconditional self-acceptance (USA), which you say is a Have a go Spaghettio! Success Helper core belief will effectively inoculate the young person against the bully contagion.

“Yes. The more the child is exposed to the idea of USA, throughout their schooling, and at home, they will eventually get to what Albert Ellis calls, Emotional Insight (EI) where a person automatically lives by the USA principle and can conserve or keep their unconditional self-acceptance status. There are many ways that the young bully victim can be supported in this endeavour, in class, across the school and at home. The goal is to embed the Red Success Helper way of thinking or believing deep in the child’s mind, a psychological bulwark against potential harm, disappointment and unfairness.

Perhaps I can expand on this some time and talk about the practical things a school can do for the potential victim in a bullying scenario. Thanks for your attention Mr Popoffalot.”

Mr Paxton Popoffalot, Wassup? News

You’re welcome Ms Smithers. This is Paxton Popoffalot for Wassup? News signing off from Oondooroo Junior Primary School, in outback South Australia.

Mr. Popoffalot of 'Wassup? News' Interviews Ms. Smithers Part 4

2026-10-17T09:32:42.903+10:30

Wassup? Ms Withers

Mr P’s been thinking about Ms. Smithers and her work with children in the early childhood setting. As a Rational Emotive Behaviour Educator, she is keen that her young charges understand that their thinking is connected to how they feel and act. She does this via the Have a Go Spaghettio! pedagogy, which is based on Rational Emotive Behaviour Therapy (REBT).

REBT provides the counselling paradigm used by counsellors and psychotherapists to help people identify the unhelpful and self-defeating habits of thinking that undermine their progress in life and living. It is called: The ABC Theory of Emotional Disturbance .

Mr P. wants to find out how the Have a Go Spaghettio! approach addresses the issue of bullying in schools. He asks her to explain how she and her Have a Go Spaghettio! colleagues address bullying at her school.

Ms Smithers explains.

According to REBT, the ‘bully’ does not or may not show respect to others in ways that cause the victim extreme discomfort. They are targeted and perceived to have some kind of weakness or deficit that the bully believes renders them worthless in a global sense i.e., entirely so. Their acceptance of others seems to be contingent on them meeting certain criteria that defines their worth or as REBT says, accepting others only on certain conditions of acceptability.

Bully behaviour will be called out and addressed, assertively and consistently. Others who observe and stand by while someone is targeted are also complicit in their hurt. The bullying dynamic is made up of the bully, the bystander and the victim and it seems to be a perennial problem in the school setting.

Do adults bully adults in the school setting? Asks Mr P.

The bully of course is not only found amongst the young at school, but often times adults who purport to be fair and respectful are in practice bullies themselves. Ms Prudence Putty – Nose is a case in point, who, with her helpers applied all of her bullying behaviour repertoire for which she is known. But here we focus on young children and how we can help them in the bullying dynamic, especially the victim who is negatively impacted by the Success Stopper behaviour of others.

Please go on Ms. Smithers. This is very interesting.

So, what to do. I teach to the Have a Go Spaghettio! Success Helper capabilities and their Success Stopper counterparts. I teach children that Yellow Success Helper represents unconditional other acceptance and the Orange Success Helper reminds us that we’re all OK. I feedback to children’s Success Helper behaviours and reinforce the mindset that drives these behaviours in doing so.

Crucially, for the bully victim there may be Success Stopper beliefs about the ‘self’ at play. What established, deeply held beliefs has the victim constructed that may in their behaviours and demeanour, suggest that they lack confidence, projecting a disposition that can be perceived as weak or offensive to the prospective bully. This is where the Red Success Helper capability becomes a major focus for the victim.

According to REBT and Have a Go Spaghettio! a person who believes their worth is contingent on how others ‘esteem’ them, or how they perform at tasks will have a conditional sense of self-worth; they may need or seek the approval of others to ‘be’ OK. The behavioural and emotional consequences of believing this may project a persona of unsureness, hesitance, anxiety and sadness. This where most of my Have a Go Spaghettio! work will be focused. The goal is to psychologically immunise the victim against the bully protagonist, to work on the ‘I’m worthwhile crocodile’ habit of believing.

I’ll talk about this when next we meet Mr. Popoffalot.

No worries, Ms Smithers. Thanks for your time.

Mr Popoffalot of What’s Up? News interviews Have a Go Spaghettio! educator Ms. K. Smithers

2026-10-14T14:05:07.291+10:30

Mr Popoffalot has popped by for another chat about the Have a Go Spaghettio! Success Helper approach to personal development in learning and life in general. Mr P. has interviewed Ms Smithers before, and he is eager to follow up and learn some more.

#earlychildhoodeducation #haveagospaghettio #rebt #generalsemantics #counselling #teaching

Paxton Popoffalot Chats with Ms Smithers Again

2026-10-01T17:24:16.277+09:30

Mr Popoffalot of What's Up? News has popped by for another chat about the Have a Go Spaghettio! Success Helper approach to student personal development. Mr P. has interviewed Ms Smithers before, and he is eager to follow up and learn some more.

Mr. Popoffalot

‘How are things going Ms. S.?’ asks Mr. P.

Ms. S. replies:

Well, we’re well into the term and classroom discourse is very Have a Go Spaghettio! rich. All the students have set their personal Success Helper goals for the term, the Have a Go capability they want to work at. E.g., Ahmed has a Red Success Helper goal, Bridget, a Yellow SH goal, etc. They each have identified a habit of thinking which may be Brain Bully stopping them from doing stuff because they might be too scared, worried etc.

Mr. P. A great idea. So, they decide what they want to get better at. This gives them agency.

Yes indeed. Agency or locus of control, where personal goals are set and work planned to realise them. Locus of control and frustration tolerance are Blue and Purple SH capabilities, and it is important for students to know that each SH capability can be associated with others.

For instance, Red SH is linked to Blue, the ability to hang tough, and Purple SH, the ability to manage frustration.

Students are acclimatising to a classroom culture characterised by Have a Go concepts and principles and the language associated with them. Practice is the key and Dr Albert Ellis, who created REBT said, practice, practice, practice! And when that’s done, practice some more!

Ms. K. Smithers

‘Gee I’m glad I popped by today, Ms. S!’ exclaims Mr P.

Rational Emotive Behaviour Therapy (REBT) tells us that extreme unhealthy negative emotions and behaviours are linked to habits of thinking that are irrational, where a person is oblivious to any evidence that would point to a different or alternative view of what may be happening. These are constructed over time and become deeply held core philosophical beliefs that effect how we perceive ourselves, others, and life in general. Have a Go Spaghettio! provides a framework that teachers can use to help children understand their thinking nature, that thinking – feeling – behaving are interconnected and that understanding this will help them learn to self-regulate, develop an ability to monitor how they assess situations, to make reasonable, Brain Friend or rational appraisals of events.

REBT teaches us that how we react emotionally and behaviourally to challenging events in our lives, is linked to the type of mindset we have constructed. A healthy Have a Go! outlook unconditionally accepts the ‘self.’ This means that failure and the assessment of us by others do not nor can’t define our global self-i.e., we ‘are’ not what we do nor are we how others might esteem us.

Unconditional other acceptance regards others as having unconditional worth as we do, and unconditional life acceptance means that we won’t, nor can we expect that life should be easy and that we must not be inconvenienced. These constitute what REBT calls a rational way of thinking that allows us agency in our decisions, the ability to tolerate frustration which helps to develop a strong sense of self-worth or confidence.

General Semantics teaches us that the mindset we construct is a virtual map of life, the territory. If our map approximates how things are, we are thinking in a rational self-helpful way. If our virtual map is a poor representation of reality then we operate from an irrational, self-destructive perspective. Alfred Korzybski, who created General Semantics theory says that when we apply a label to our ‘self’ and decide we are ‘it’ our ‘map’ is out of sync with reality as one abstracted ability or characteristic from the many can’t realistically determine or describe us in a global sense. Cognitive Scientist, Professor Donald Hoffman would concur who says;

"What we perceive is never the world directly, but rather our brain’s best guess at what that world is like, a kind of internal simulation of an external reality. Still, we bank on the fact that our simulation is a reasonably decent one."

These principles underpin and are taught through the Have a Go Spaghettio! pedagogy. It teaches children things like the following:

We are thinkers and construct what we believe i.e., our belief rules
They can be helpful, Success Helper/Brain Friend habits of thinking
They can be unhelpful Success Stopper/Brain Bully habits of thinking
What we do is not ‘us’ and how others view ‘us’ is not ‘us’
Things aren’t so bad that we can’t stand it.

'What are the the nuts and bolts of this pedagogy, the basics of this philosophical approach to Social Emotional Learning?' asks Mr. P.

As constructivists we formulate a way of seeing the world that is not the world itself. It's what Donald Hoffman, cognitive psychologist, calls a virtual model of a reality of our making. We wouldn’t talk in these terms but general classroom discourse points to this idea so that when older, children will be able to get their heads around this principle.

We teach children that thinking, feeling, and acting are connected to each other. This is the ABC Theory of Emotional Disturbance principle, and it helps us learn the discipline of monitoring how we feel and act and how our belief constructions influence the strength of emotion we may be experiencing. We teach children the rudimentary tools which they can use when they are older and reach formal operations from 12 years onwards and can now think about their thinking (metacognition).

These ideas are enclosed, live within the 6 SH Helper Thinking Capabilities of the Have a Go Chart. Each time we refer to it, talk about it, we are reinforcing the think, feel, do connect. Each colour coded entity represents the thinking, feeling, and behaving that will help us in our lives and learning.

A Have a Go Spaghettio! educator is a Rational Emotive Behaviour Educator. Ms Smithers is on the ball, and her students are learning about constructivism, Success Helper/Success Stopper thinking, how its linked to their behaviours and emotions.

Give it a try banana pie!

Mr. Popoffalot asks Ms. S, 'how important is Success Helper thinking feedback and general classroom discourse?'

That’s a good question Mr. Popoffalot! It is an essential feature of the Have a Go approach to SEL in all settings and especially with our youngest learners.

The six colour coded Success Helper capabilities help the teacher tailor their feedback to the SH behaviours observed.

Here is an example:

Ahmed has been working hard on his Red Success Helper capability. He has chosen this goal and written it down. This is his goal for the term. He has written, ‘I want to try new things without feeling too scared to try.’ This requires a habit of thinking which says ‘I can try and keep trying to get better. I can try new things. If I succeed that’s great if I don’t it’s not the end of the world.’

As his teacher, I am aware of his Red SH goal, and whenever his behaviour suggests he is actioning this new SH way of thinking I will catch him in the act! I will say things like, ‘you’re sticking with it!’ or ‘It took courage to ask that question. Red SH thinking at work!’ Any behaviour that reflects any of the SH capabilities especially in this case the Red SH will be monitored, so I’m ready to catch them doing it!

Conversely, I may say things like, ‘don’t forget your Red SH goal. Brain Bully thinking will stop you trying. Don’t let Brain Bully win!’

This kind of classroom banter will reinforce the Have a Go! 6 Habits of thinking, feeling and acting SH capabilities taught in a general sense. A positive indicator of a Have a Go classroom culture emerging is when the students themselves prompt each other and encourage each other as they address challenges in their learning and relationships.

'Well thanks Ms. Smithers for your valuable time. Perhaps we can meet again in the not too distant future.’

'My pleasure Mr Popoffalot and thanks for popping in!’

Ms Smithers Speaks with Journalist Mr. Paxton Popoffalot

2026-09-28T11:58:18.493+09:30

Mr. P. Popoffalot

Mr Paxton Popoffalot (Mr. P.) has organised an interview with Have a Go Spaghettio! expert and Rational Emotive Behaviour Educator Ms. K. Smithers. She is using her school planning time to accommodate Mr. P. who is a journalist for the local newspaper, What’s Up?

Mr. P: Thanks Ms Smithers. I’ve heard about the Have Go Spaghettio! program you use in your classroom, can you tell us about it.

Ms. S: It’s a Rational Emotive Behaviour Therapy based program, which teaches children about the thinking – feeling – doing connection. Albert Ellis, creator of REBT said the future of psychotherapy is in the school system, and we are doing it!

Ms. K. Smithers

Mr. P: Sounds complicated. How is this idea or principle conveyed to your young learners?

Ms S: The key is to make the complex simple and fun. These young constructivists are the architects of their trajectories in life. They can have agency in their deliberations, learn to manage frustration and develop what Albert Ellis calls, unconditional self-acceptance, the idea that self-worth is not contingent on how others might esteem them i.e., they don’t need the approval of others to ‘be’ ok. They can prefer that others treat them well, respectfully and not demand that they should. This is done by the Have a Go Spaghettio! pedagogy, developed by Dr. Bort O’Lozzo in Australia.

As you and I do and have done we carry around in our heads established habits of thinking, believing that inform the decisions we make and drive our behavioural and emotional responses to situations. This is the think-feel-do connection I mentioned before, and outcomes will depend on the quality of our belief rules; are they rational or irrational.

Mr. P: Constructivists? In what sense Ms. K. This suggests your young charges are building things. How does this relate to the think-feel-do trinity you mention?

Ms. S: We want our young people to construct, build a suite of core beliefs that are evidence informed, based on a reasonable assessment of the self, others and life in general. A Have a Go Spaghettio! mindset is made of the following belief rules:

- I prefer to get what I want but I know I won’t always

- I prefer others treated me with respect and courtesy

- I prefer that things go well for me and life is fair, but this is not realistic

- I can handle difficult things

- I unconditionally accept my 'self'

- Generally, things aren't so awful that I can’t stand the inconvenience of unwanted happenings

These are all packaged in the Have a Go Spaghettio! Success Helper Thinking pedagogy

HAVE A GO SPAGHETTIO!

Mr P: Carry on Ms S, this is very interesting. Please go on.

Ms. S: I teach to the six Have a Go Spaghettio! Success Helper competencies highlighted in the visual. These can be referred to as traits, behaviours, capabilities, qualities etc that will help us manage ourselves successfully. Each colour coded capability is underpinned by the Have a Go! REBT rational mindset outlined above. For example, the Blue Success Helper represents the thinking ‘I can try and persist’ and the feelings and behaviours associated with it. It requires a realistic Success Helper habit of thinking which in turn will help them manage frustration levels, strengthen internal locus of control, and add to a person’s unconditional self-acceptance and confidence.

Mr P: So, the Have a Go Spaghettio! approach does what Mr Ellis suggested educators do, that is, to bring psychotherapy theory into classroom practice, to teach children habits of thinking/believing that are helpful. Is that correct Ms Smithers?

Ms S: Yes The Have a Go Approach talks of Success Helper, or Brain Friend thinking and Success Stopper or Brain Bully thinking. We want our young people to know that there is a connection between irrational Brain Bully thinking and extreme, unhealthy negative emotions. They can learn in time to question, challenge and change their thinking habits, to monitor how they feel and behave as they relate to the type of thinking connected to them.

Thanks for your time Ms Smithers.

You’re welcome Mr Popoffalot.

Ms. Smithers, Suzy and Angus Do Some Have a Go Spaghettio! Headwork

2026-09-23T16:26:40.374+09:30

Headwork Ahead is a sign that Ms. Smithers has standing in her classroom. It’s a visual reminder that monitoring how we feel, behave and how we think about what’s happening around us is an ongoing matter of mindful mind maintenance that can become an automatic, intuitive practice. Nevertheless, we need to be vigilant because Brain Busting Brain Bully is an opportunist and lurks around every corner!

Have a Go Spaghettio! is a constructivist-based teaching and counselling pedagogy. It’s based on Rational Emotive Behaviour Therapy and General Semantics theories. Each posit that how we see ourselves, others and the world is a construction, a mind made virtual reality that can either be far removed from how the world is or is pretty well aligned with it.

General Semantics introduces the notion that the‘map is not the territory’ meaning that our constructed ideas about how things work are just that, a simulated internally fabricated model, the map that we believe represents the world, the territory.

Angus, Ms Smithers student, and Suzy’s classmate, had constructed a core belief that making a mistake, made him a mistake. ‘I must not stuff up and If I do, I’m a stuff up!’ His map, his constructed perspective on his ‘self’ did not even come close to approximating the territory, a more rational assessment of a more reasonable ‘self.’

Angus was abstracting a particular perceived failing or weakness of his personhood and deciding it represented his ‘self’ in a global way, he gave himself a global negative self-rating which was in essence irrational, Brain Bully Believing.

Ms. Smithers has been doing her homework and is helping Angus with his challenges via the Have a Go Spaghettio! pedagogy. She talks about Brain Friend Thinking and Brain Bully Thinking, the habits of thinking we have constructed in our heads. She calls this headwork.

Classroom discourse centres around Have a Go goal setting e.g., I’m going to practice ‘I can’ thinking, a Blue Success Helper/Brain Friend focus (though it also relates to other Have A Go Spaghettio! habits of thinking). Ms. Smithers provides feedback to the Have A Go Spaghettio! competencies e.g.; you tried something new. That’s Red Success Helper thinking at work. Well done!

Ms Smithers consistently talks about the thinking – feeling – doing connect and talks about habits of thinking that we build/make in our minds and the need to be aware when Brain Bully is at work causing us emotional and behavioural upset.

Our beliefs come from us. We make habits of thinking that become belief rules. Like if we believe that we won’t always get what we want we will handle disappointment in a healthy manner. We will say to ourselves ‘I really wanted an ice-cream but I’m not getting one. Not the end of the world.’ This is a Brain Friend rule at work. We don’t feel angry about it, but we may feel a bit upset or disappointed.

If, however, we say to ourselves, ‘Not getting an ice-cream is just not fair and everyone’s mean.’ This is a Brain Bully rule at work. We may feel angry, and we spit the dummy!

These habits of thinking are fed by information received from our environment. If we regularly get what we demand as a child, we may internalise a rule that says, ‘if I want something I get it. If I don’t, I’ll protest until I do.’ Or if we have learned that not getting something we’d like is not the end of the world, we accept it, and feel healthily disappointed rather than unhealthily angry.

We make sense of information from our environments, and we can make good sense or bad sense, which contributes to the thinking rules we construct.

Ms. Smithers gathered her children in a circle to talk about something that had happened. She wanted her students to give their thoughts as to why she had responded as she did to an incident on the way to school that morning.

Ms Smithers said she felt angry when a driver didn’t let her in when she indicated she wanted to change lanes.

The children said:

- She made you angry

- She should have let you in

- She is mean

- It’s just not fair

Ms Smithers said, ‘let’s look at ‘It’s not fair’ thinking.’

Who is thinking it’s not fair?' ‘You are Ms Smithers,’ they say.

'Why is it not fair?' ‘Because she didn’t let you in.’ they say.

‘Should she absolutely have let me in? Is there a rule that she must let me in?’ ‘No but it would have been better if she did,’ they say.

‘So, is it fair that sometimes I don’t get my way? Is it a big problem?’ They agreed in the scheme of things it wasn’t a catastrophe.

‘What’s the best thinking rule we can come up with, so we don’t feel so angry and make bad choices?’ asked Ms Smithers.

Together they wrote a Brain Friend Thinking rule as follows:

‘We don’t always have to get our way even if we’d like to. Sometimes people don’t treat us as fairly as we’d like and we can accept that. It’s not the end of the world if they don’t.’

This Brain Freind rule was added to a list of Brain Friend rules that had been talked about before. This was a Have a Go Spaghettio! exercise looking at frustration tolerance, the Purple Success Helper way of thinking.

Ms. Smithers told her student’s that she didn’t really feel angry because she had been practicing her ‘Sometimes things don’t go my way’ thinking rule. She felt disappointed but she didn’t make herself angry by thinking ‘it’s not fair. They are mean!’ thinking. She didn’t let Brain Bully in. Brain Friend thinking was a habit that Ms Smithers had practiced and practiced, and she invited her students to do the same.

Have a Go Spaghettio!

Headwork = Practice and Ms Smithers says we work hard to get rid of Brain Bully thinking by practicing Brain Friend thinking using the Have a Go Spaghettio! chart to guide us. Way to go Spaghettio!

Angus Can’t … coz he’s a …… Brain Bully Believer!

2026-09-14T17:34:16.811+09:30

Angus’ experience to date had taught him that he was inherently stupid and along with other associated self-generated conditions he decided he was in essence a no hoper. How did he ‘know’ this? Because the information he received from others and the meanings he made of it, led him to conclude he was a hopeless case. Therefore, he anticipated failure and rejection. And he expected that the world would ‘be’ unfair and if anything good came his way, it was an accident, fate. He had constructed a predominantly Brain Bully sense of who he was, an irrational assessment of his nature, his capabilities; he had a bad self, and he deserved failure and the derision of others. His anger, depression and anxiety were attached to a belief construction that was informed by messages received which he deemed were true and correct. His significant adult mentors and others informed his belief constructions and his take on reality was set, and it was not a very healthy one.

Angus didn’t get some things and rather than revisit, review, retry he accepted that not getting something the first time was a true indicator of his ability and worth. His Brain Bully philosophy was played and replayed in his mind so his was a fixed mindset outlook. He was:

Not of any worth

The world was unfair

He couldn’t see any light at the end of the tunnel, (he didn’t look anyway, because there was none).

So, Angus’ trajectory would be one of inertia, risk aversion, self-damning and how woe was he .. Unless something changed.

He felt angry a lot coz every mistake, every mishap, every criticism reinforced what he knew already. He learned not to try, to give in before he started. He projected failure and he couldn’t see any value in the self he had constructed, a Brain Bully perspective on himself and also on others and life in general. His virtually constructed take on his reality was warped, irrational, errant; a Brain Bully way of thinking.

Angus thought in absolutes. He was a ‘shouldist’ a devotee of ‘absolutism.’ He should get what he wants, others should treat him fairly and respectfully, and the world should give him what he wants at all times. He sought the approval of others, to affirm his worthiness, and when they didn’t approve of him, he felt bad. What he didn’t do was approve of himself unconditionally, a Brain Friend construct.

There was one person he knew who was generally happy and optimistic and didn’t rely on the approval of others. Her name was Suzy and she was in his class at school. Ms. Smithers was their teacher. Suzy thinks in preferences, she prefers the world, others give her want she wants, to like her, but they don’t have to. Suzy is a ‘prefer – ist.’ She prefers rather than demands that life goes well for her but she also expects that there will be times when it won’t and that she can handle challenges.

Can Suzy help Angus?

Suzy is a doozy! She has a ‘growth mindset’ sensibility. The virtual map she has constructed best represents the territory, the world, her reality. Hers is a Brain Friend belief outlook, the antithesis of Angus’ world view dominated by Brain Bully thinking on a loop in his head.

Suzy suggests that Angus tune in to how he is feeling. If his emotional reactions are intense, immediate, overbearing etc then assume that Brain Bully is at work, deep in his subconscious. She helps him with emotional regulation strategies (breathing, time out, walk away eyc) whilst at the same time explains what BB beliefs are and how they are the drivers of his extreme emotional and behavioural upset. What are his Brain Bully rules for living? How did they get there? What are they and how do we expel them, kick them to the kerb?

Suzy and Ms Smithers will help.

Suzy and Ms Smithers mentored Angus, helping him to recognise Brain Bully thinking, to challenge it and dismantle it, see it for the nonsense it was. They schedule activities and challenges for Angus to undertake, to challenge himself and prove that his nonsensical Brain Bully thinking had no basis in fact. It will take a while and lots of practice and reflection, and practice and reflection! Did I mention practice? And practice.

Angus listened and endeavoured to learn. He learned that he had constructed a Brain Bully mentality that governed how he felt and how he behaved. He was learning that others, the world did not ‘make’ him present this way. He realised that whilst bad things might happen, their badness was connected to how he interpreted, perceived them. He was making himself angry, anxious, depressed etc.

With help he identified those troublesome Brain Bully beliefs and considered what evidence they were based on. He began to challenge the ideas he held to be true and replaced them with Brain Friend, evidence-based constructs. This translated to better regulated feelings and behaviours.

Ms Smithers could see the benefit of the Have a Go Spaghettio! pedagogy and it was doing its job. It reinforced the BF nature of Suzy’s thinking and helped to challenge and change those BB habits of thinking that Angus was struggling with.

They were giving it a try banana pie!

Suzy Can! A Have a Go Spaghettio! Success Story

2026-09-10T16:30:34.288+09:30

Ms Smithers is a Rational Emotive Behaviour Educator. She teaches to the Have a Go Spaghettio! pedagogy based on Albert Ellis’ Rational Emotive Behaviour Therapy. She teaches her junior primary students that they are constructivists, they make or build the beliefs that inform how they perceive events in their lives. Epictetus said:

"It is not the things that disturb us, but our interpretation of their significance."

This in turn connects to the persons behavioural and emotional responses to those events i.e., thinking, feeling and behaving are all connected. Ms Smithers knows that if her students understand this, they can learn to regulate how they feel and behave by monitoring how they think about themselves, others and life in general.

"As we think so are we."

Suzy is one of her students and she believes she can do stuff, and through persistence she can achieve her goals and if she doesn’t, she strives to work out how to solve problems. She doesn’t believe in failure, and drawbacks are merely opportunities to learn. She does not equate failure with being a failure, she can neither ‘be’ good or bad, stupid or smart. She accepts herself unconditionally which is a Red Success Helper thinking outlook. Some people learn to believe that they are their failures, and Ms Smithers is alert to this.

"You always—yes, always—accept and respect yourself, your personhood, your being, whether or not you perform well and whether or not other people approve of you and your behaviors." Albert Ellis

Suzy has many strengths and Ms Smithers is aware of these. She recognises that Suzy has a strong sense of her own agency, an internal locus of control where she believes luck has nothing to do with outcomes. Ms Smithers says that Suzy has a Blue Success Helper habit of thinking, where she believes she can determine outcomes in her favour and rarely is it luck that she meets her goals.

"I can try. I'll practice."

She has developed high frustration tolerance, a Purple Success Helper capability, as she believes she can handle difficult challenges, and problems are opportunities to learn.

Suzy is doing well, as her developing belief constructions are Success Helper in nature, rational and self-helpful.

Suzy has many strengths and the Have a Go Spaghettio! framework gives Ms Smithers a tool which she can use to reinforce six personal capabilities which are based on REBT and GS theory.

Suzy decides she wants to make a paper fish. This is her goal and she prepares herself accordingly. She finds some paper and colour pencils and sets about her task. She watches a short instructional video and reads a book on origami her mum gave her. This is Green Success helper thinking at work; preparation, ready for success.

She believes she can achieve her goal and that it will take effort. Setting goals, working hard to reach them reinforces her locus of control, her sense of personal agency and her ability to manage frustration. Her Red Success Helper unconditional self-acceptance is strengthened and enhanced. Suzy believes she can!

She follows instructions attentively, carefully folding the paper and she progresses. She rests a while and thinks about how she’s going. She needs more practice she and will try again later.

Suzy works on her paper fish at lunchtime and she persists; she wants to do a good job and believes it will work out well with more practice.

After a while she thinks that her folds are better, and the fish figure is beginning to take shape. 'I’ll give it another go later,' she says to herself.

And she did, and she did it, coz Suzy Can!

When Islamic and Western Modes of Psychology Align - The ‘Success Helper’ Aql Thinking Approach

2026-08-19T12:45:16.994+09:30

As a student of the Islamic World View I have become acquainted with the concept of ‘tarbiyah.’ Tarbiyah encourages us to look beyond narrow definitions of what a ‘learner’ is and to consider the many facets of being a person. Students are not just anonymous clients in a system, potential units of production, conditioned to service the needs of society. There are ‘physical, spiritual, and intellectual dimensions of the human being’ to consider and in a school system, the teachers and school leaders are charged with the responsibility to address a child’s development in a holistic way.

Where do we begin? If we are, as educators and leaders, to optimise our ability to develop the child in a holistic manner, Islamic wisdom encourages us to address the tarbiyah of the self. How do we develop all the dimensions of our humanity so that we can become a model (Murabbi) of what we are in a total sense, so that our students see us walk our talk?

The process of ‘inner transformation’ is ongoing as we review and refine the inward attributes, dimensions of the ‘physical, the spiritual, and the intellectual.’ The more practiced we become in attending to these personal qualities, they become habit, and how we present ourselves to others is automatic, intuitive. This is the outward expression of the inward integrity of the ‘physical, spiritual and intellectual dimensions of the human being,’ which is nurtured and monitored, reviewed, and practiced as we go, so that we are self-aware and ready to help others.

I had the honour of presenting at the 9th Annual Australian Islamic Schooling Conference. As a rational emotive behaviour counsellor/educator I wanted to share how a theory of psychotherapy has synergy with Islamic psychology and the Islamic World View i.e., Rational Emotive Behaviour Therapy (REBT).

REBT is the creation of renowned psychologist, Dr. Albert Ellis. It aligns strongly with Islamic principles of reason and reflection (‘aql) and its connection to how we feel and how we behave. The following quote illustrates clearly that Islamic and Western psychology has resonance with each other, and Islamic psychologists who employ the REBT method have used the term Islamic-Rational Emotive Behaviour Therapy (I-REBT) and say it is an appropriate psychotherapy modality that is in consonance with Islamic values.

“The integration of REBT with Islamic values is considered important because principles such as self-control, rationality, patience, tawakal (trust), and muhasabah (self-reflection) have conceptual alignment.”(Sya'ban et Ummi Kalsum, Muhammad Arif Syailendra al., 2024).

My presentation puts forward a way of bringing a counselling modality into the school and classroom in a way that honours the Islamic intention of developing the child’s ability to understand how thinking, beliefs (‘aql) is connected to how they feel and behave. It offers a way for the individual, teacher, parent, and student to manage themselves successfully emotionally and behaviourally. It is the inner work that we attend to so our outward posture, demeanour, behaviour reflects Success Helper thinking (‘aql) such as unconditional acceptance of self, others, and life. It also helps students develop internal locus of control and frustration tolerance so that they can proceed with confidence, self-awareness and with positive intent.

The 9th Annual Australian Islamic Schooling Conference was

presented by The Centre for Islamic Thought and Education

Mr. Chin Doesn't Give In! (as much as he used to!)

2026-07-10T12:46:10.314+09:30

Let me introduce you to Mr. Chin. He is married to Mrs. Chin.

They live in a lovely cottage in a little village called ChiniChinChin. They are the Chins from ChiniChinChin!

But they have a problem.

When jobs get tricky, Mr. Chin gives in!

Mr. Chin would start jobs around the cottage, and he would get tired and not finish them.

He would say ‘I give up’ and he would have a rest and fall asleep in his favourite chair.

Snooze, snooze, snore, and snooze!

He dug half a hole in the garden and built half a shed.

He mowed half the lawn.

He washed half the dog.

And shaved half of his beard! He did look funny!

Mrs. Chin said, ‘Have you finished your jobs Mr. Chin?’

But Mr. Chin was fast asleep.

Guess where he was?

Yes, he was sleeping in his favourite chair.

He was snooze, snooze, snoozing in his favourite chair, again!!

Snooze, snooze, snore, and snooze!

Mr. Chin went to the doctor and said, ‘I give in when I have tough jobs to do, and everything is unfinished.

I just sit in my favourite chair and have a loooooong snooze!’

The doctor said, ‘mmmmm, I think you have 'give in' disease, Mr. Chin.’

‘Oh, dear me! What’s that?’ Mr. Chin asked.

The doctor said, ‘when the job gets tricky you think ‘this is too hard,’ and you give up!

This stops you from being successful.

Snoozing is easy but working is tough.

This is Success Stopper thinking!’

'What will I do doctor?

I’m not being successful, and my jobs are not finished, and Mrs. Chin feels sad too sometimes.'

He said:

If you want to feel much better

And get all your jobs done.

This is what you need to do.

And you can have some fun!

When you want to stop

And you are about to give in

Instead of snoozing in your chair

Say ‘DON’T GIVE IN MR. CHIN!’

Mr. Chin went home and told Mrs. Chin what the doctor had said, and Mrs. Chin listened carefully.

She said, ‘you can try, and you will be successful.’

‘Yes, I can, and thank you for helping me,’ said Mr. Chin.

Mr. Chin gave Mrs. Chin a big hug.

The next day when Mr. Chin had mowed only half of the lawn, he said to himself, ‘this is too hard. I think I’ll give up and have a snooze in my favourite chair.’

Then he remembered what the doctor told him, and he said,

‘DON’T GIVE IN MR CHIN!’

And guess what?

Mr. Chin finished mowing the lawn and he felt very good. Mrs. Chin felt happy too.

Now, when you drive past the Chins from ChiniChinChin you will notice that everything is finished, and their lovely cottage looks even lovelier!

Mr. Chin still snoozes in his favourite chair.

But he only snoozes when he finishes his chores.

Snooze, snooze, snore, and snooze!

Well-done Mr. Chin. You didn’t give in!’

Have a Go Spaghettio! A closer look at D of The ABC of REBT

2026-06-16T09:40:53.245+09:30

Ms Smithers is determined to teach her young constructivist learners that habits of thinking can be healthy and helpful or unhealthy and unhelpful. She want’s to focus on the D part of the ABC DE of REBT counselling paradigm that she is learning about. This is the part where we ask the question How do you know? And what have you left out?

What do we mean when we say, ‘My friend is mean!’ How do you know? And what have you missed out.

Ms Smithers has compiled a list of expressions, utterances made by children in her class. Here are some:

He’s dumb!

I can’t do this!

No one likes me.

These are discussed and referred to often as Ms Smithers wants to promote a discourse that points to examining what we mean, explaining how we justify our meanings and exploring how what’s left out can challenge what we mean and form new and more accurate meanings. That’s the Have a Go Spaghettio! Way!

Ms Smithers says, “When children present with behaviours and emotions that suggest that Brain Bully thinking’s at work, I help them to identify what it is that’s driving their e.g., anxiety or sadness. Once identified we then talk about the evidence that challenges or DISPUTES the veracity of what Brain Bully is saying. This is the D part of the ABC (DE) Theory of Emotional Disturbance. Change our thinking and change how we feel and act. Helpful thinking is Brain Friend or Success Helper thinking. This is done as a matter of course when, e.g., we are considering 3^rd party characters like Franklin the Turtle in Franklin’s Bad Day.”

Ms Smithers will refer to the class Emotional Thermometer to identify emotions and strength of emotions. She will invite children to consider where a happening might rate on the Catastrophe Scale. This challenges the view that something might be worse than it need be. Brain Bully thinking makes Brain Bully feelings and actions.

Ms Smithers says “As a group we will revisit situations familiar to students as with Franklins Bad Day. We will identify what happened (A) how Franklin felt and acted (C) in response to A, and question Franklin’s mindset at B, what thinking are we suggesting might be driving how Franklin is feeling at C. We have previously determined that Franklin was engaging Brain Bully thinking that was causing Franklin’s extreme upset at C. So, what do we do? Let’s consider the veracity of Franklin’s thinking as B and help him modify what he thinks and therefore how he feels and behaves. This endeavour will remind us all that the belief constructions we make, Brain Friend/Succes Helper and Brain Bully/Success Stopper thinking is linked to how we feel and behave.

“Franklin’s best friend Otter moved away. He felt sad, angry and became aggressive.

This unhelpful and uncharacteristic disposition the children say in the first instance is because Otter moved away and Franklin will only feel OK if Otter comes back. They say he thinks, ‘I can’t be happy. This is not fair!’ But I’m trying to teach them that B has something to do with it. The children think that A makes C, that Franklin feels and acts as he does because A MAKES HIM THIS WAY! I want them to learn that A, what happens plus B, how A is interpreted makes C. We want Franklin to go from an A=C perspective, to a Brain Friend A +B=C perspective.

I ask the children:

How do we know Franklin isn’t OK.

What does he mean when he thinks that things must be the same?

How does he know this?

What is he leaving out? What other possibilities are there?

Using the Verbal Pollution Free Zone principle of General Semantics, we talk about the evidence that may challenge the ‘how do you know what you think is true’ question. All work in progress.”

Classroom discourse focuses on the six Success Have a Go Spaghettio! Helper capabilities. We talk about the think – feel – do connection of Rational Emotive Behaviour Therapy. We set ourselves SH goals and work to reach them. We practice unconditional self, other and life acceptance. We say together each day that making a mistake doesn’t make us mistakes! We look out for Brain Bully thinking, and we challenge it to change it to Brain Friend thinking. And we sing the Have a Go Spaghettio! song! Don’t we Ms Buzz.

Have a Go Spaghettio! and the 'Verbal Pollution Free Zone’ of General Semantics

2026-06-03T11:03:15.994+09:30

This is the script of the video.

Ms Smithers is a Have a Go Spaghettio – ist! She is well versed in the basic principles of REBT and GS theories. She knows the language of feedback can be helpful, meaning she is making sure it is effort focussed and never person specific. She tells her students that making a mistake does not make us a mistake. She refers to the Have a Go Spaghettio! visual at the start of each day and sings the Have a Go song with the children. They anticipate having a successful day, and they will work through the inevitable challenges that crop up now and then.

Ms Smithers greets her children as they arrive at school. She has done her homework, and her goal is to apply Rational Emotive Behaviour Therapy and General Semantics principles in daily teaching practice.

Another principle uppermost in her mind is to promote classroom discourse based on questioning, enquiry, problem solving and self – monitoring; referring to the classroom Emotional Thermometer and the Catastrophe Scale to reinforce the idea that thinking, feeling and acting are connected. Things happen but do they make us feel and act as we do? Or is something else at work. Ms. Smithers applies these discourse rules to herself, thinking out loud, modelling to her children that she is practicing what they are all talking about, she walks the Have a Go Spaghettio! talk!

Ms. Smithers has been doing some research about General Semantics theory. Albert Ellis said his REBT is heavily influenced by the work of GS creator Alfred Korzybski. He put forward the idea of the ‘verbal pollution free zone.’ What is it and what has this got to do with Have a Go Spaghettio! and early childhood teaching and learning?

Ms Smithers has reached a level of understanding of REBT principles, and she is growing in her confidence to teach them and apply them in her teaching practice. The Have a Go Spaghettio! pedagogy is based on REBT and GS theories, designed to acquaint her students with the idea that thinking, feeling and behaving are inter connected.

She is keen that her classroom becomes a place where every opportunity is used to help students become confident young learners, confident and motivated and able to manage the challenges that daily life presents to them.

Ms Smithers says, “I’ve been doing some research about General Semantics theory. Albert Ellis said his REBT is heavily influenced by the work of GS creator Alfred Korzybski. He put forward the idea of the ‘verbal pollution free zone.’ What is it and what has this got to do with Have a Go Spaghettio! and early childhood teaching and learning?”

Busy Bee says

“The Verbal Pollution Free Zone consists of the following questions:

1. What do you mean? (Forces the speaker to clarify the exact definitions of the words they are using).

2. How do you know? (Requires the speaker to provide evidence or cite the source of their information).

3. What have you left out? (Encourages considering alternative perspectives and prevents jumping to incomplete conclusions).

It’s a conscious communication technique designed to reduce ambiguity, subjective judgments, and emotional reactions by asking specific questions.”

Ms Smithers will use these questions to challenge her children to explain what they mean, and how they know what they mean is accurate, and to consider what they have missed or forgotten or left out that could change how they think about things. She will use the Have a Go Spaghettio! pedagogy to teach children that how we think, might not be informed by the evidence and Ms Smithers will train her students how to think about what they say and think. She will encourage children to recognise Brain Bully thinking when they feel sad, angry, anxious. She will use the Emotional Thermometer and Catastrophe Scale to help them with their thinking. Way to go Spaghettio!

Ms Smithers applies her learning in her teaching practice, and her goal is to become more proficient in applying the REBT/GS principles in her work so that her children will have the skills and knowledge to think about their thinking when they are older.

“I’m wondering how I might teach this to my students. I’ll make it part of my daily chat, the classroom discourse. I’ll ask these questions in relation to the Franklin’s Bad Day story. Thanks Ms. Buzzy! I’m onto it!”

“Franklin wanted things to stay the same and Brain Bully was saying ‘it’s not fair. This should not happen. I’ll never be happy again.’ But Franklin’s dad helped him to think about things differently. What do you think girls and boys? Did Otter return?”

“No but Franklin changed his thinking from BB to BF, SS to SH. He could still be friends with Otter but in a different way. Sometimes we don’t get what we want but we can use BF thinking to help ourselves,” the children reply.”

Franklins father said:

What do you mean?

How do you know?

What have you left out or forgotten?

“Well done everyone! We’re learning how we feel and act is connected to how we think. Give it a try banana pie!” says Ms. Buzzy. Have a Go Spaghettio! everyone says.

Have a Go Spaghettio! The ABC of REBT Text Analysis – part 3

2026-05-22T08:18:36.451+09:30

The third in the ABC of REBT series, this video applies the ABC of REBT theory considered in the first 2 videos, to text analysis. In effect the ABC can be used as a critical literacy tool and in this instance we look at the situation Franklin the turtle is called to deal with. The ABC theory lends itself well to teaching children that strength of emotion in response to an unwanted happening is connected to how the situation is viewed, perceived. Ms Smithers is across the theory and is doing well in applying it in practice to reinforce the ABC of REBT ideas through the Have a Go Spaghettio! framework. Ms Smithers is a Rational Emotive Behaviour Educator, a Have a Go Spaghettio! – ist, and she is firing on all eight cylinders!

We’re back at school; Ms Smithers welcome’s her children and beckons them inside. She’s planned a lesson that will illustrate how a book character deals with a serious and traumatic happening.

Ms Smithers is aware that her students sometimes feel very aggrieved and upset when things don’t go their way and she wants them to understand that things, most times, are not as bad as they seem to be.

Ms Smithers has a formula now to teach this via the ABC of REBT theory, and she believes that the children are learning important ideas and strategies to apply to themselves as they forge ahead. They will become their own counsellors, applying the ABC of REBT to their lives. Ms Smithers is doing what Albert Ellis wanted to happen, to bring elements of psychotherapy into the school system, to take psychotherapy from the confines of the consultancy room into the classroom. Good work all!

Ms Smithers reads Franklins Bad Day, asking questions to identify key ABC of REBT points like:

What happened?

How does Franklin feel? (check the ET)

How does he act?

Why do you think he acts like this? Why does he feel so sad? (check the Catastrophe Scale)

The children say because things have changed (Otter has moved away), Franklin won’t be happy again. Franklin thinks that:

‘Bad things happen and they make us feel bad and act bad. They shouldn’t happen and it’s not fair and things should be the same as before.’ Ms Smithers carefully and expertly

leads the children in discussion. The question at the end of the story is. ‘How does Franklin feel now? Has his friend Otter returned? So, what has changed?

The children say that Franklin was using BB thinking, which made his bad feelings and behaviour. But he’s now using BF thinking. His new thinking rule says, ‘Sometimes things don’t go my way, but I can handle difficult situations. I don’t think that everything should go my way all the time.’

Ms Smithers says, ‘yes the situation hasn’t changed but Franklins thinking has changed to BF/ SH thinking which has made BF feelings and actions.’ Franklin has an optimistic outlook, feels happy that though Otter isn’t returning he accepts that he can be friends in a different way.

Ms Smithers says, ‘yes children isn’t it interesting that Franklin goes from sad and mad, to happy and optimistic. And what has changed everyone?’ The children say that ‘Franklins thinking has changed.’ ‘And has Otter returned?’ Ms Smithers asks. ‘No’ the children say. “So, what is Franklin’s new BF rule again?

‘It’s, sometimes things don’t go my way, but I can handle difficult situations. I don’t think that everything should go my way all the time.’

Have a Go Spaghettio!

It’s raining ABC’s of REBT’s!

How does each relate to Franklin’s predicament. Ms Smithers is doing such a great job!

Ms Smithers has studied her ABC of REBT counselling paradigm. She believes that it is a useful way to help everyone explain how thinking, feeling and behaving are linked. She uses the Have a Go Spaghettio! language of the Success Helper chart, so that classroom discourse is imbued with the notion that we can learn to manage how we act and feel if we learn how to think about our thinking. Ms Smithers not only talks the Have a Go Spaghettio! talk she walks it. She shares with her students those moments when she feels anxious or frustrated, she checks the classroom catastrophe scale and thinks out loud, ‘is this problem the worst I can have? Am I thinking this problem is the worst that can happen? What is Brain Bully saying? Oh, I think I know, BB is saying (I’m thinking) that this is worse than it really is, can you help me here children?’ etc.

Let’s just recap on what Ms Smithers and her children have just done. Ms. Smithers is using the ABC of REBT as a critical literacy tool to provide her children with ideas and competencies that in turn will boost their emotional intelligence, and the ability to self-regulate. In doing so Ms Smithers teaches EQ in her daily overall literacy program via the Have a Go Spaghettio! pedagogy.

She has applied her knowledge and understanding of Have a Go Spaghettio!, to analyse how Franklin responds to a challenging situation, applying the ABC Theory of Emotional Disturbance counselling paradigm to in a sense ‘counsel’ Franklin through this episode. She brings the students along for the ride and in doing so reinforces the Have a Go Spaghettio! approach to problem solving situations that contrive against us. But its not so much the situation, but rather it’s our BB thinking that does!

Franklin is back to his old self. His best friend Otter moved away, he felt sad and angry. Otter didn’t come back, but Franklin changed his BB thinking to BF thinking and in doing so changed how he felt and behaved. Franklin is learning how to help himself in difficult times and the children are too. A win win for all! Well done Ms Smithers and students. Way to go Spaghettio!

The children sing the Have a Go Spaghettio! song and Ms Smithers feels happy because she believes the children not only understand the Have a Go Spaghettio! approach to success and wellbeing, they are applying their understanding to problem solve, they are learning how to self-regulate. Do your best lemon zest!

Ms. Smithers says, ‘The ABC of REBT tells us that what happens, A, has a connection to how we feel and behave at C. Have a Go Spaghettio! provides the ideas and language to talk about this. It talks about how the type of thinking B, about A, makes feelings and behaviors. We can use the ABC of REBT to critique and analyse texts like Franklins Bad Day.’

Have a go Spaghettio! and The ABC D&E of REBT – part 2

2026-05-05T11:26:36.718+09:30

Have a Go Spaghettio! introduces the REBT theory of psychotherapy to the early childhood young constructivist. General Semantics also comes into play which says that the map is not the territory, the word is not the thing or person. Have a Go Spaghettio! teaches how to think in self-helpful, Brain Friend/Success Helper thinking ways via the ABC of REBT and General Semantics theory.

Ms Smithers is a Rational Emotive Behaviour Educator. She has learned about the ABC of REBT, and she wants her young constructivist learners to know all about it.

In the first presentation we considered the ABC of REBT, and how it informs the Have a Go Spaghettio! pedagogy. The idea is to take REBT from the rooms of the therapist specialist to the excitement and energy of the early childhood school and classroom settings. Albert Ellis said the future of psychotherapy was in the classroom and here we are! Good on you Ms Smithers!

Ms. Smithers

Slide 2 introduces to additional components of the ABC of REBT and that’s the D and E parts. So were back at school and Ms Smithers is about to introduce these two important additions to the ABC of REBT.

Ms Smithers teaches the children that A is an Adverse happening, something we don’t want to happen, that C is how we feel and behave as a consequence of the happening, A. This message becomes a feature of daily classroom discourse, as the Ms Smithers refers to things constantly like:

How do you feel?

I feel worried?

What happened?

What are/were you thinking?

What was Brain Bully saying?

I think BB is trying to give me a big headache!

Now what would Brain Friend say?

Etc.

This classroom chat, led by Ms Smithers, is reinforcing the ABC of REBT ideas, reminding children that:

Things happen.

We feel and act in response to what happens.

We interpret what’s happening, we think about it.

We question whether what we are thinking is true or not.

We reconsider, rethink, and reset what we think, to a Brain Friend/Success Helper/rational setting because we challenged the veracity of Brain Bully thinking at B, what we think.

Rethinking, reconsidering, challenging what we think is true is called DISPUTATION of irrational beliefs, the D of the ABC of REBT.

Ms Smithers hones her Have a Go Spaghettio! knowledge and practice as she becomes a competent Rational Emotive Behaviour Educator. And her students are learning about the ABC of REBT in their daily learning. She Has a Go Spaghettio!

In Ms. Smithers the classroom

In slide 3 we consider the thoughts of the children in presentation 1, where at B of the ABC of REBT, they thought:

I’m dumb!

I’m hopeless.

No one likes me.

I need them to like and approve of me, thought Ms Smithers about her colleagues.

D is the process of challenging or reviewing what we are thinking at B. In the classroom Ms Smithers might model this so:

“I feel sad girls and boys. Not just a little bit but a lot.” “Let’s check the ET,” says the children.

“You might ask did something happen? Who will ask me?” Says Ms Smithers.

“What am I thinking? Is it Brain Friend or Brain Bully thinking? “she continues.

Ms Smithers says, “I think people I like must like me and if they don’t it means I’m not likeable and no one likes me! But they don’t have to even if I’d like them to. I do have some friends which is OK. What do you think people?”

“Not everyone will like you Ms Smithers, but some do. We like you.”

“I feel better now because I’ve changed the way I think. My new thinking rule is I would like everyone to like me, but they don’t have to and that’s OK. And if some people don’t like me doesn’t mean I’m not OK. I will write that in my daily journal. Thanks everyone.”

This kind of modelling and classroom chatter is a constant reference to how we think, how we feel and act are connected.

So D is when we rethink dispute our BB thinking, question and challenge what might be Brain Bully thinking that is making BB feelings and BB behaviours.

Ms Smithers has been doing some homework and has learned about some questions she can introduce into classroom discourse. This set of questions suggested by General Semantics theory is used by Ms Smithers when talking to students about the ABC of REBT. She asks:

“What do you mean?” (when you say you’re dumb?)

“How do you know?” (why do you think this?)

“What have you left out?” (why things show you that this is not true)

The children hear this every day. Ms Smithers ‘gives it a try banana pie!’

Slide 4

But wait, there’s more! What does E represent? E is Effective new belief. Teacher Ms Smithers has identified that her Brain Bully belief that everyone should like her is not helpful. She has friends who do like her, and she is always OK. She feels better now. She knows when Brain Bully is at work because she begins to feel down and she says to the children, “I have to check my thinking. What are the three questions?”

They say in unison:

“What do you mean?

How do you know?

What have you left out?”

“Right on says Ms Smithers. Get lost Brain Bully,” she says.

“Get lost Brain Bully they all say.”

Ms Smithers used to think:

“I’m only OK if people I like, like me.”

She now thinks:

“I’m OK even if some people may not think I’m OK.”

She practices this belief and reminds herself daily and articulates her new way of thinking to the children aloud to communicate to them that:

“BB thinking makes BB feelings and behaviours.

I can change my BB thinking to Brain Friend thinking.

I can practice my BF thinking.”

Ms Smithers new Effective belief is, ‘I don’t need you to like me for me to like myself.’ In other words, Ms Smithers prefers rather demands that others should like her. She no longer believes that she needs others to like her for her to know she is OK.

“Remember to practice your ABC of REBT. Practice your Have a go Spaghettio! thinking!” Ms Withers says.

The ABC of REBT tells us that what we think about our selves, others, and the world we live in, is our version of what we think is true. The map is not the territory, the word is not the thing, they just represent what we think is real or true.

What others think of us is not us. Brain Bully thinking like ‘I’m dumb’ is a falsehood because I am not the word!

Stay tuned for presentation 3 of the ABC of REBT and Have a go Spaghettio! where we consider all that we’ve learned in presentation 1 and 2 and apply it in relation to the adventures of a particular book character, as we track and analyse what’s happening according to the ABC (and D and E!) of REBT!

Ms Smithers says, “Give it a try banana pie! Do your best, lemon zest!”

Summary of Have a Go Spaghettio!

2026-04-29T19:32:08.822+09:30

Have a Go Spaghettio is a teaching program designed for early childhood education. Its primary purpose is to help teachers instruct students about the connection between thinking, feeling, and doing using Rational Emotive Behaviour Therapy (REBT) principles.

The program focuses on building resilience in young students and is based on the ABC Theory of Emotional Disturbance, which explains how emotions and behaviors are influenced by the way we think about events. By teaching students to recognize and challenge their thoughts, Have a Go Spaghettio aims to promote emotional well-being, confidence, and positive behavior.

Some key aspects of the program include:

- *Resilience Building*: Encouraging students to take on challenges and develop coping skills

- *REBT Principles*: Teaching students to identify and dispute irrational thoughts and behaviors

- *Think-Feel-Do Connection*: Helping students understand the relationship between their thoughts, emotions, and actions

- *Visual Learning*: Using a six-color coded graphic to illustrate REBT and General Semantics theories

Overall, Have a Go Spaghettio is an educational tool designed to support the emotional and social development of young students.

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Have a Go Spaghettio! The ABC of REBT – part 1

2026-04-29T11:22:17.411+09:30

Have a Go Spaghettio! is a pedagogy for teachers to teach their students about the think-feel-do connection using Rational Emotive Behaviour Therapy (REBT) principles in daily early childhood teaching practice.

REBT provides the ABC Theory of Emotional (and behavioural) Disturbance counselling and teaching paradigm which considers how emotional and behavioural upset is linked to the event or happening (A) but is also influenced by the thinking (B) about the event or happening.

The six-colour coded Have a Go Spaghettio! visual teaching and learning graphic is underpinned by REBT and General Semantics theories. The word is not the person!

Slide 2

Teachers teach their students about the ABC’s, words and meanings, sentences and reading and writing. I can recall being told that ‘you go to school to learn your ABC’s.’

There’s another type of ABC that we can teach our young constructivist learners, the ABC Theory of Emotional Disturbance.

Ms Smithers has completed the Have a Go Spaghettio! course and has the confidence and ability to teach her students how they can develop their Success Helper habits of thinking. She talks about Brain Friend and Brain Bully thinking, and how their thinking is connected to how they feel and act. It teaches them that they can do dumb but not be dumb!

Albert Ellis said ‘the future of psychotherapy is in the school system and Ms Smithers is bringing principles and practices of psychotherapy into the classroom via Have a go Spaghettio! teaching the ABC’s of REBT.

Slide 3

A represents something that happens, an event, in terms of the ABC paradigm, it’s called an ADVERSE EVENT that can invoke extreme behavioural and emotional upset. Ms Smithers will talk to her students about things that can happen that we deal with every day. She is aware that that we can make ourselves more upset than necessary but how do we generate extreme feelings of e.g., anger or worry? These questions Ms Smithers will attend to and here she talks about day-to-day uninvited happenings. Does the event, A, make these feelings and behaviours? Or is something else at play.

Ms Smithers also shares her own ADVERSE EVENT experiences, as she is learning to manage how she deals with things. She is a Have a Go Spaghettio! Rational Emotive Behaviour Educator and she’s teaching her students the ideas and skills which will help them learn how they can help themselves.

Slide 4

Here we introduce to the children the head stuff, what we do inside our head when we are thinking. Brain Friend (BF) or Success Helper (SH) thinking, Ms Smithers tells the children is a helpful way of thinking about things. When we think what are we telling ourselves about the ADVERSE EVENTS mentioned before? This is the B part of the ABC Theory of Emotional Disturbance, what we BELIEVE and how we think about or interpret the event, A. Ms Smithers talks about thinking and how we think about things that happen. Are we using helpful SH/BF thinking or is Brain Bully at work, telling us stuff that’s not true? What has all this got to do with how we feel and behave?

Slide 5

The C part of the ABC of REBT is the emotional and behavioural consequence of A, how we respond to what happened, the A of the ABC? Here Ms Smithers will talk about feelings and different strengths of feelings and the behaviours we choose when things don’t go so well for us. Ms Smithers has an Emotional Thermometer which suggest different words for different strengths of emotions.

She will ask questions like:

That person feels very angry and stomps their feet. I wonder why?

I feel very sad. Why do I feel this way?

These feelings (C) are connected to the event A and the thinking part at B of the ABC of REBT.

Ms Smithers talks like this all the time and gets her students to suggest ideas and possible solutions to the problems they bring up. The goal is to fill the classroom with ideas and language about the ABC of REBT, so it becomes part of the natural discourse of her classroom. Give it a try banana pie!

Slide 6

Ms Smithers says”

‘Talk about the A of the ABC of REBT as happenings, things that happen. Talk about how we all deal with things we don’t want or don’t like.

Talk about how we might feel and behave when things don’t go our way, the C part of the ABC of REBT

Talk about thinking, the B part of the ABC of REBT and speculate on what Brain Bully thinking might be making Brain Bully feelings and behaviour. Talk and talk and talk.’

Have a Go Spaghettio!

Slide 7

This presentation is one of three. The next one will introduce two further elements of the ABC of REBT so stay tuned.

What is Have a Go Spaghettio!?

2026-04-24T12:04:32.617+09:30

Have a Go Spaghettio! is a pedagogy which provides the early childhood educator a way of delivering ideas and principles of psychotherapy to the young constructivist mind.

Albert Ellis said a long time ago that the future of psychotherapy is in the school system so that’s Have a Go Spaghettio!’s mission, to help young people learn habits of thinking that will hold them in good stead.

clap your hands

touch the sky

give it a try

banana pie!

Who is Abert Ellis? He’s the creator of Rational Emotive Behaviour Therapy which provides the ABC Theory of Emotional Disturbance counselling/teaching paradigm. It is the underpinning theory of the Have a Go Spaghettio! approach to social, emotional, behavioural well-being.

General Semantics also informs the Have a Go Spaghettio! approach, which posits that ‘the word is not the person’ it intends to define. A personal failing or the opinion of others do not determine the persons entire worth.

What is a good self? Is there such a thing? If so, then logically, there is a bad self, and this may be a belief under construction in the child’s mind. Good self, bad self, smart self-believing is that we can ‘be’ the label provided to us by others because that’s what they tell us we are!

Have a Go Spaghettio! teaches children that the ‘self’ we talk about is far too complex to determine whether it’s a good one or a bad one. We can be judged on our errors, but to be believe we are our errors is an error in itself.

In essence Have a Go Spaghettio! relays the following to young constructivist learners:

They make beliefs from information provided to them. They process information to make meanings about their ‘selves,’ others and the way the world works.

Give it a try banana pie!

The Have a Go Spaghettio! chart presents six competencies/traits/qualities/capabilities that Rational Emotive Behaviour Therapy and General Semantics theories say are helpful to the individual as they are based on attitudes/philosophies/ outlooks/habits of thinking and believing that are rational, evidence based. Each colour coded competency incorporates the following elements which are taught to young constructivists:

1. Thinking is something we do, and we make sense of information received in our interactions with others and environments.

2. Our beliefs can be helpful (Brain Friend - BF/Success Helper -SH) or unhelpful (Brain Bully (BB)/Success Stopper- SS).

3. BB thinking makes BB feelings and BB behaviour.

4. BF thinking makes BF feelings and BF behaviour.

This is what each colour represents

1. Blue SH means we can develop the capacity to meet challenges with an attitude of ‘I’ll try my best.’ This involves having a sense of control in determining outcomes, and understanding that if they don’t meet their goals, they can reset them or accept that it may be too hard an ask at this time. This behaviour is driven by ‘I can influence outcomes in my favour’ thinking, internal locus of control rather than SS thinking of ‘if I do ok its luck.’ This capability helps to also develop frustration tolerance, to maintain emotional and behavioural control especially when challenged. ‘Give it a try banana pie!’ thinking.

2. Yellow SH means we cooperate with others and respect them. This is driven by what Albert Ellis calls Unconditional Other Acceptance thinking. This helps us understand that everyone’s worthwhile even if they make mistakes or do things we don’t accept or like. This way of thinking helps us to work and play with others successfully. It doesn’t mean we have to be friends with everyone e.g., we can choose to dislike things about someone without damning them in a global way. ‘I can cooperate. G’day mate!’ thinking.

3. Purple SH capability represents the ability to manage emotions and behaviours using strategies that keep the person in a state of relative calm. Part of the ‘keep calm’ toolkit is the ability to rate the severity of a situation in the context of all possible problems that may arise. Is this problem the worst thing that can happen? Can I handle this? This develops a SH belief rule of ‘I don’t expect to always get my way. Sometimes life’s unfair.’ ‘I keep Coolio at schoolio!’ thinking.

4. Green SH thinking considers what things do children require to help them achieve what they want to do. This trains children in thinking ahead in simple ways. E.g., what will I use to write my story? E.g., Remembering to clean their teeth reflects this competency. It’s about learning to set reasonable goals and being prepared. ‘I’m read with my teddy’ thinking!

5. Red SH helper believing is applying the principle of unconditional self-acceptance to one’s self, all the time, but especially when challenged. This belief is based on the logic that a particular quality or characteristic abstracted from all the things that constitute the ‘self’ cannot define us totally. Hence, we cannot ‘be’ bad, good, smart etc. so accepting the label from another that you e.g., ‘are’ dumb will not be accepted. ‘I’m worthwhile crocodile’ thinking.

6. Orange SH thinking incorporates Yellow and Red SH’s. It accepts unconditionally that the self and others are of worth and cannot be their successes and failures nor the labels that people might ascribe them. It is a combination of unconditional self-acceptance and unconditional other acceptance. I call this unconditional ‘us’ acceptance. ‘Everyone’s OK Hey! Hey! Thinking.’

All of these Have a Go Spaghettio! SH capabilities combine to assist the educator and counsellor to help young children become acquainted with their thinking nature. It provides a common language and conceptual understanding that delivers the message that the map is not the territory; the word is not the person or the thing it represents.

Give it a try banana pie!

Have a Go Spaghettio! and Our 'Upsetness'

2026-04-16T15:05:00.000+09:30

The goal of REBT, Rational Emotive Behaviour Therapy, is to help the person identify the beliefs they have constructed and how they are connected to the way they feel and behave in response to adverse happenings. The emphasis is on the views one holds, personal philosophies that underpin and drive how we feel and behave, as it is they, not solely the adverse event, that ‘makes’ them as upset as they become. In essence we upset ourselves, and Albert Ellis calls this self-disturbance, we are causing what he calls our own ‘upsetness.’

This presentation is titled ‘our – upsetness’ as Ellis’ invites us all to learn to be less ‘self-disturbable.’ In the school context we call this endeavour Rational Emotive Behaviour Education.

Dr. Albert Ellis

The Have a Go Spaghettio! Success Helper approach to social, emotional, and behavioural wellbeing provides a pedagogy for teachers to use in the early childhood context. It is underpinned by Rational Emotive Behaviour Therapy and General Semantics theories, and conveys to young constructivist learners that thinking, feeling, and behaving are interconnected. It provides them with the tools that they can use to learn how they self-regulate in the later primary years when they reach the stage of metacognition i.e., it:

• Teaches the think – feel – do connection.

• Promotes the ABC Theory of Emotional Disturbance paradigm as a self-regulating tool.

• Teaches to the six Have a Go Spaghettio! qualities promoted in daily teaching practice.

Can we teach this counselling paradigm to young early childhood student constructivists?

Can they learn to apply it in their lives?

YES. WE. CAN!

YES. They. CAN!

How?

Of course, we don’t teach it as we ‘ve discussed as per the ABC’s of REBT but we do when we talk to the Have a Go Spaghettio! Success Helper chart of capabilities in terms of the behaviours associated with each colour, the emotions experienced and the Success Helper/Success Stopper thinking associated with them. E.g., the Purple SH talks about controlling our feelings by various methods, including using thinking (SH) that helps us maintain control. We ask questions like:

- What happened

- How do you feel

- What are you thinking?

Apply the ‘you can’t teach a child how to swim when they’re drowning,’ principle when the child is in the midst of emotional upset. When settled we can draw on the child's Have a Go Spaghettio! learning, to engage them in some Have a Go! discussions, goal setting, some things to work on.

Have a Go Spaghettio!

The counsellor – child interaction in using the child's learning and understanding of the Have a Go! SH capabilities and we also employ the General Semantics principle of the ‘verbal pollution free zone’ when we ask:

What do you mean?

How do you know?

What have you forgotten/not considered?

The application of these ideas and principles will hopefully become part of the child’s own tool kit for when they reach the stage of metacognition i.e., they will be able to monitor how they feel and behave, use strategies to self-regulate, one of which would be to check their thinking, to rethink. Dr Albert Ellis, who created REBT wanted to people to learn how to help themselves, become their own therapists so to speak.

Let's review what we’ve been talking about. This is the ABC Theory of Emotional Disturbance counselling paradigm that we are teaching our young learners via the Have a Go Spaghettio! pedagogy. The ABC theory also draws on the work of Alfred Korzybski’s General Semantics theory which reminds us the words we use to label things and people are not the words themselves. E.g., I cannot be a good person, I am not the word good, though I may have done things that can be described as good e.g., helping someone.

The child cannot be good/bad/naughty/cute /smart though many decide that they can be. The belief we can be causes upset because we have learned to abstract discrete aspects of our selves, who we are and decided it describes our total being which renders us ‘unsane’ as described by Alfred Korzybski who created General Semantics. We are not thinking rationally, in a sane way hence we become ‘unsane.’

Alfred Korzybski

Let’s revisit Alfred Korzybski's idea of the ‘verbal pollution free zone’ VPFZ where he asks:

What do you mean?

How do you know?

What have you forgotten/not considered?

These questions represent the D part of the ABC Theory of Emotional Disurbance paradigm described earlier, the stage where we dispute what we believe at B of the paradigm.

Emotional and behavioural upset, we teach students, is linked to what we call Success Stopper (SS) or Brain Bully (BB) thinking. This kind of thinking we call as adults, irrational thinking, as it gets in the way of us pursuing our goals, our desire to feel OK and generally to feel positive about things.

We can use the VPFZ idea to help children develop a SH motto or mode of thinking with which to work on. They have been involved in identifying the SS/BB thinking and challenged its veracity i.e., what did they mean? How do they know? What are they missing/forgetting?

We’ve incorporated the Emotional Thermometer (ET) and Catastrophe Scale (CS) to help identify emotions, describe them, decide if they are helpful or not and consider how ‘bad’ a situation might be according to the CS.

Though the students don’t know it, they are all applying what they understand of the ABC Theory of Emotiuonal Disturbance and General Semantics vis the Have a Go Spaghettio! pedagogy.

Once teachers get a handle on the ABC theory and General Semantics theory, they become critical literacy tools that they can use to examine the experiences of characters in books and films, that children can identify with. They will recognise the ideas and tools the teacher is using to examine what’s happening and offer reasons as to why Franklin the Turtle in the book 'Franklin's Bad Day,' in this instance, feels and acts as he does. How far away is Franklins ‘map’ from the ‘territory?’ Can Franklin develop an outlook where his thinking best approximates the reality of what's happening?

The teacher reads the book and asks questions along the way, ‘how is Franklin feeling, what happened? Why do you think he feels and acts like he does? They might say it’s because his friends moved away (Otter has moved) and that he can only feel ok again if she returns and things are the same again. Is this likely and can Franklin learn to accommodate what’s happening and can he and Otter be friends in a different way?

Franklins Bad Day analysis

A - What happened? Franklins Friend Otter moved away:

B - What did he believe? Otters moved away. It’s not fair. I can’t feel happy again.

C - How did he feel? Sad and angry. How did he act? Aggressive to others. Throwing stuff.

D – What do you mean? How do you know? What have you not considered.

Franklins' dad challenged the way Franklin was processing what had happened. Things weren’t the same, but dad said he could be friends in a different way.

Franklins' demeanour changed, he felt happy again, and he was looking at what happened differently. Hs ‘map’ was more aligned with the ‘territory.’ In other words, Franklin had reached E. What’s E?

E = ‘In the ABCDE model of Rational Emotive Behaviour Therapy (REBT), E stands for Effective new beliefs or Effect. It represents the cognitive and emotional result of disputing (D) irrational beliefs (B), where the individual replaces self-defeating thoughts with healthier, rational, and constructive attitudes, reducing emotional disturbance.’ AI

Have a Go Spaghettio! The Map and The Territory

2026-04-07T18:31:15.377+09:30

If the 'map' (our belief constructions) isn’t the 'territory' (reality) and people believe it is, then there’s a lot of unwarranted emotional and behavioural upset endured by many who believe what they think is reality.

This kind of thinking sees life’s twists and turns as major inconveniences that shouldn’t happen. So, if, for example someone doesn’t say thanks when you open the door for them, and you feel the indignation rise within, and you say ‘you’re welcome’ after them, who or what is causing your angst?

The answer is that you are! But how? Rational Emotive behaviour Therapy, (REBT), the Stoics, General Semantics and the Buddha say that how we interpret what’s happening has a connection to our emotional and behavioural response. How we interpret what’s happening is related to philosophical belief rules we’ve constructed over time, of which we may not be aware.

Consider the scenario above, how might the aggrieved person be thinking at the time, about the incident. Possibly they surmise, ‘I did them a good turn and they didn’t acknowledge me. I always say thanks when people show me courtesy. That really pushes my buttons!’ The interpretation may be that because they didn’t say thanks, they were ‘being’ rude and it makes you angry! So, the other person ‘is’ rude and ‘made’ you angry.

What are the belief rules that underly this type of assessment. REBT would say that irrational beliefs have been established, constructed over time that determine this kind of appraisal of the situation as follows.

- People absolutely should/must treat me as I wish to be treated.

- People who behave badly are bad and deserve my derision and contempt.

- I can’t handle people not attending to my wants and needs as I demand them to

- It isn’t fair that I be inconvenienced this way.

Creator of REBT, Albert Ellis says that the extent or severity of the persons upset in this instance is driven by a ‘map’ replete with thinking inaccuracies that don’t approximate the ‘territory’ or how the real-world works. The map is considered to ‘be’ the ‘territory’ and the map’s not wrong, the territory is! In this case, what happened, shouldn’t have and it has ‘made’ the person angry.

Donald Hoffman, cognitive scientist accords with Alfered Korzybski, creator of General Semantics theory, saying that:

“Human perception is not a window onto objective reality, but a ‘user interface’ that presents the brain’s best, fitness-driven guess of the world.”

The Have a go Spaghettio! approach to Success Helper (SH) thinking development, introduces the above ideas to early childhood constructivists, who are formulating the ‘maps’ that best represents the ‘territories’ they inhabit. SH thinking constitutes the virtual ‘map’ that best represents the ‘territory’ and is embodied in the six SH capabilities illustrated in the Have a Go Spaghettio! chart. It teaches young constructivists that behaviour and emotions are connected to habits of thinking, which can be Success Helper or Success Stopper, Brain Friend, or Brain Bully.

Give it a try banana pie!

The Rational Emotive Behaviour 'Have a Go Spaghettio!' Educator

2026-04-05T09:11:00.000+09:30

Teachers who employ the Have a Go Spaghettio! pedagogy in their early childhood teaching practice are Rational Emotive Behaviour Educators. The Have a Go Spaghettio! approach to early childhood personal development is based on Albert Ellis' Rational Emotive Behaviour Therapy theory (REBT) and his counselling paradigm, the ABC Theory of Emotional Disturbance. REBT is influenced by the Stoic Philosophers such as Epictetus, who said that happenings plus our interpretations of those events cause our emotional and behavioural 'upsetness' as Albert Ellis said. But REBT would not have come to be had it not been the work of Alfred Korzybski who created General Semantics theory. He alerted us to the idea of the 'map is not the territory' where our belief constructions (the map), our conceptions about life, are but a virtual representation of reality (the territory).

Teachers who teach early childhood student constructivists the Have a Go Spaghettio! pedagogy are Rational Emotive Behaviour Educators. They also promote the basic principles and ideas provided by Alfred Korzybskis, General Semantics theory. Pretty good, eh!

Give it a try banana pie!

Dr. Evil and Ms. Prudence Putty-Nose

2026-03-18T12:57:55.012+10:30

Daddy Wasn't There! is a song featured in the film Gold Member. Mike Myers plays the role of Austin Powers, the James Bond type, man of the moment who has issues about the absentee father who was ‘never there’ at those crucial milestone moments of his formal development. Hence the song Daddy Wasn’t There!

Austin had a twin brother, called Douglas Power, aka Dr. Evil who was thought to have died in a car explosion, and was subsequently adopted by a Belgian family who taught him to be evil. How this was done is of course conjecture, but I would suggest that Douglas may have been programmed to believe he was an exceptional type and people, all people, should, must defer to him and his specialness.

Dr. Evil is self-absorbed, needs to be admired, and scorns those who do not revere him as he must be. He has a fragile ego and demands that others validate his status as an exceptional human being. So fragile is his ego he must destroy those perceived to be his competitors or enemies, hence Austin Powers is in his sights. He treats his underlings as means to an end, to do his bidding, honour him accordingly, and who have no value beyond his wants and desires. He lacks empathy for others and doesn’t care for their wellbeing. He is a vain narcissist, who demands the world and others deliver him what he wants. There are no exceptions to this rule and those who don’t comply with his demands are targeted, eliminated.

What are the ‘must’ rules that Austin Power abides by according to Rational Emotive Behaviour Therapy?

1. I am special and everyone must treat me accordingly, and if they don’t, they will be eliminated.

2. I must achieve what I set out to achieve. I must not fail.

3. The world must be as I want it to be and nothing should discomfort me.

So, Austin and Douglas deal with their ‘daddy issues’ differently, one becomes an agent for good and the other for evil.

Narcissists wield their power in the ways of fictitious Dr Evil though the damage wrought on others is done so within the rules and often accommodated in systems where results matter more than the health and wellbeing of the of the people who work in for example education.

The fictitious and unfortunate Ms Prudence Putty – Nose, who needed an ambulance when narcissist supply was low, has much in common with the Dr. Evil persona. She has a grossly inflated sense of her own importance, demands that others acknowledge her specialness and will target and intimidate those who are superfluous to her needs. A close cabal of sycophant enablers carry out the orders of the bully Ms Putty – Nose who are on the payroll so to speak. Dr. Evil would be proud of her as she targets and intimidates those who she sees as competitors, the more popular and competent others on staff. Just to recall some of fictitious Ms Putty-Noses underhanded and malicious tools of her narcissist driven operations:

- Social media information is harvested about those she hates; those who have personality, are well liked, and who are competent.

- Slut shaming her nemeses, publicly and with malice.

- Using school CCTV to spy on those she doesn’t like.

- Spreading rumour and lying about others to disgrace and humiliate them, again with malice.

- Lying to her line managers about people who don’t give her what she demands.

- Standing outside targeted teachers classroom to intimidate, menace, harass and bully.

The Gold Member movie satire about the narcissist Dr Evil, abandoned by his ‘farger,’ adopted by people who taught him that he was the most important person in the world and should always, absolutely get what he wanted and the story of fictitious Ms. Prudence Putty – Nose have their real life equivalents whose goal is to cause misery and mayhem for others because they can.

These are fictitious characters and any resemblance to people living or dead (or seem that way or who smell a bit off) is absolutely and utterly coincidental.

Self-absorbed Ms Putty Nose

Sits in her chair in quiet repose

Reflecting on her great prowess

Inhales the sweet scent of success

I am the best

Better than the rest

I know I am

Am I?

Ms. Prudence Putty - Nose Sees a Counsellor

2026-03-13T10:32:00.002+10:30

Ms Prudence Putty – Nose went to a counsellor because she was flying off the handle a bit when she didn’t get what she wanted and she lasted one session. The counsellor said that her sense of her own exceptionalism, that she was a better breed of person and that others should see this and act accordingly was the cause of her high anxiety and need of approval. Ms Putty Nose was affronted by this and could not see how she was responsible for how she felt and behaved and not the furniture, the weather, or the popularity of a teacher peer she despised and she decided that counselling wasn’t for her. She was even resentful of a teacher colleague who had cancer, as her condition was taking away precious attention from her. ‘I wish she didn’t get cancer. It’s not fair,’ she thought.

"Cancer envy" is a recognized, complex, and often shame-inducing emotion where individuals may envy the attention, support, or care others receive during a cancer diagnosis.”

She went back to her group of approval providers, who would say what she wanted to hear, as it was they who told the truth. What would some two-bit counsellor know? She was special and that was that!

In REBT terms she was/is what Albert Ellis calls ‘musturbating’ i.e., her behaviour and emotional outbursts are caused by the irrational views or beliefs that she harbours, unconsciously and unknowingly and which she will not come to know because she refutes any perspective that challenges her specialness. Hence ‘no counselling for me!’

I must be liked and admired by others is the big one. People should like someone as special as she, one who is above all others and woe and betide those who don’t minister to her needs. She doesn’t just prefer others like her; she demands that they absolutely should or must. That’s her live by rule. And there are enough sycophants and ‘yes’ people around her to maintain the illusion of her ‘specialness.’

Where did this come from? Some say she may have been adopted and has a residual feeling of abandonment. She may believe her biological parents left her and didn’t care about her. Her adoptive parents may have tried to compensate for this and told her repeatedly how special she was as she was ‘chosen’ and she was an exceptional person who was in their eyes the most important person in the world. They conditioned her to believe this nonsense and put her at risk of mental ill health into the future. She would experience extreme anxiety, rage and depression because the world doesn’t always deliver what you believe you must get! And Ms Putty-Nose was locked into this irrational world of illusion and denial.

She would have learned to rely on the approval of her new parents, and when it wasn’t forthcoming she would feel sad, anxious and worthless because she needed their attention. She needed to be noticed, celebrated, and continuously admired and feted.

There would be other reasons why one develops NPD, Narcissist Personality Disorder, and the adopted child, reared by fair minded and rational people will be less likely to develop this condition according to the literature.

So, Ms Putty-Nose continues to inhabit a space, which is engineered to maintain her sense of specialness and which involves those who need to feed her need of approval, but when she steps outside that comfort zone look out!

She will rail against the world and how unfair it is. She will lie about and rumour away those she feels are against her. She will collect information about others to use against them. She will scour the social pages on the internet (hello 😊 there) to glean any snippet of detail that she and her enablers will use against the enemy; slut shaming is a slander of choice.

"Slut-shaming is the act of criticizing, bullying, or judging individuals—predominantly women—for violating traditional social expectations regarding sexual behavior, appearance, or perceived promiscuity."

She will use the schools CCTV cameras to spy on recalcitrant others … and the list goes on. She remains vigilant, anxious, depressed, and full of rage because it’s them and not her who makes her act and feel as she does!

Self absorbed Ms Putty Nose

Sits in her chair in quiet repose

Reflecting on her great prowess

Inhales the sweet scent of success

I am the best

Better than the rest

I know I am

Am I?

Please tell me I am!

Have a Go Spaghettio! and the Catastrophe Scale

2026-03-01T14:45:00.002+10:30

This presentation introduces or revisits the catastrophe scale or CS for short.

The CS is a partner tool to the ET, the Emotional Thermometer, a tool that the young constructivist can learn to use to manage behaviour and emotion especially in difficult circumstances. It develops EQ capacity.

Helping the early childhood constructivist to put problems into some kind of perspective will ease emotional disquiet and behavioural upset. So how is it taught? Here are some ideas.

Here we visit again the story of Arthur. This story employs Albert Ellis’ ABC Theory of Emotional Disturbance as a critical literacy tool, which we use here to analyse a text that introduces the notion that ‘it isn’t what happens to us that makes us feel and act as we do, but it's how we view, interpret the situation, our response to it.’ Epictetus 100AD

In the story Arthur feels out of sorts, extremely anxious and full of self-doubt. He seeks the approval of others and tries to change the essence of who he is, he doesn’t want to be a dog. He has made himself a victim of external control. His anxiety is expressed in the outlandish things he does to get the approval and attention he needs to be a worthy mammal. So, what happened? Why is Arthur so unsettled?

Let’s find the A part of Dr Ellis’ ABC paradigm. He is the only one not chosen as a pet by those who visit the pet store. How is he feeling at C? Anxiety? Why? Because he believes there must be something wrong with him! Will he ever feel content, happy?

Arthur wants something badly, to be chosen and in his mind, we speculate that he thinks he is not worthy to be chosen by prospective animal lovers who frequent the pet shop, so he tries to be something he isn’t in the hope of attracting positive attention.

In REBT terms Arthur may be catastrophising about the situation. How bad is this for him? And of course, according to REBT it depends on how he interprets what’s happening. Is this as bad as he believes it is?

How can we help Arthur? Can we help him to put things in a better context. Can he feel less anxious and sad?

In summary:

A (what happened?) - Arthur not chosen

B (Arthurs thinking) – this is bad, I’m not likeable

C (how he feels/acts) – anxious, sad, perplexed

D (Dispute/challenge B)– check your CS

E (Arthur's revised thinking) – new effect, changed thinking/outlook

The CS is simply a scale and children will learn that ‘bad’ things happen, but how bad are they? This scale provides a sense of how things are compared to others. Arthur might see his situation as never ending and untenable but can he survive the trauma of not been chosen?

Let’s brainstorm with the children how Arthur may be feeling. How is he acting? Let’s speculate as to why he feela and acts like this. Children my suggest that he must be chosen of he is ever to be happy. But what is his thinking about his situation, could this have something to do with the strength of emotion he is experiencing? Does his assessment of the situation make him feel more anxious and sadder?

Lets consider his problem in relation to other possible problems eg

Lost his bone

Not chosen

Breaks a leg

No friends

No food/water

Sore throat

Emotional Literacy is the ability to identify, understand, express, and manage emotions in oneself and others according to AI. EQ or emotional intelligence is having the ability to regulate how we feel and behave especially when challenged. Ellis teaches us that as our belief constructions or rules effect how we feel and behave then we can learn to monitor how we are feeling and to check in on our thinking, our mental assessment of the situation. The latter capability is a feature of metacognition, which develops later from the age of 12 -15 years. If we can teach these rudimentary ideas from an early age, then we set the children up for success.

Teachers can add to their literacy program and include emotional literacy as demonstrated by the Arthur analysis.

Here we are using the ABC Theory as a critical literacy/EQ tool. We’re doing two things at the same time.

In summary we have considered how we might teach and reinforce the idea that thinking, feeling and acting are interconnected in the early childhood setting.

Arthurs demeanour was one of anxiety and upset, and the CS helped us ascertain how bad the situation Arthur was experiencing. However, his disposition changed, modified, because something fundamental had changed. He had put the ‘badness’ of what happened into perspective relative to other problems he had. If he wasn’t chosen would it be the worst that could happen?

His upset iwas linked to irrational thinking, or Success Stopper/Brain Bully thinking. The children will suggest this as they are familiar with these terms. What are his BB rules that cause his upset?

- I must get what I want

- This is not fair

- I'll never be happy again

The CS helped Arthur to look again, rethink, reconsider the situation and Arthur changed his rigidly held outlook to a SH/BF one:

- It’s not what I want but I can handle this

- This is not a humungous problem because my CS says so

What had changed? The children will tell you!

Have a Go Spaghettio! Give It a Try Banana Pie!

Have a Go Spaghettio! and Walkiing the REBT Talk

2026-02-27T09:04:00.000+10:30

Walking the REBT talk is a challenge as I find myself acting and emoting in ways that suggest an absolute should or must expectation is lurking somewhere deep in my mind. At least I am aware of it and can 'cherche le should' as Dr. Ellis would say.

Assume that most times when you feel anxious, depressed, or angry you are not only strongly desiring but also commanding that something go well and that you get what you want. Cherchez le should, cherchez le must! Look for your should, look for your must! Don’t give up until you find it. If you have trouble finding it, seek the help of a friend, relative, or REBT therapist who will help you find it. Persist! Albert Ellis

Latterly, the idea that certain things shouldn't happen or people should act in ways I think they should give rise to uncomfortable feelings that linger and impact my quality of life.

Marcus Aurelius said the quality of our thinking effects the quality of our life and this too is the REBT message, and of course that is key to assimilating what's happening and then deciding how if it all it will remain an encumbrance.

I work with early childhood student constructivists, and we talk about thinking and how it is connected to how we feel and act. Brain Friend or Success Helper thinking helps us manage ourselves effectively and Success Stopper/Brain Bully thinking makes things worse than they need to be.

These ideas are features of Have a go Spaghettio!, a method of teaching that brings REBT into the early childhood setting as Dr Ellis invites us to do.

Give it a try banana pie!

Have a Go Spaghettio! and The Emotional Thermometer

2026-02-07T17:19:00.000+10:30

You Tube Video

This presentation introduces or revisits the emotional thermometer or ET for short. EQ or emotional intelligence involves the ability to regulate how we feel and behave so it's useful to alert young people to the idea that how we feel, or the strength of how we feel is not only connected to what happens, the event, but also to our interpretation of what happened.

The ET helps young constructivists develop a broader emotional vocabulary that represents various strengths of emotion. Let’s continue.

Here we visit again the story of Franklins Bad Day. The day that he believes is bad may not be so, but his fixed ideas or fixed mindset thinking that things should be as he wants them to be, contrives against his emotional and behavioural wellbeing. This story uses the stages of Albert Ellis’ ABC Theory of Emotional Disturbance, to analyse a text that will introduce the notion that ‘it isn’t what happens to us that makes us feel and act as we do, but it's how we view, interpret the situation, our response to it.’ Epictetus 100AD

In the story Franklin feels out of sorts and others can see this. His anger is expressed in the way he speaks to his parents and friends, he doesn’t want to engage with others, and he is sent to his room. So, what happened? Why is Franklin so unsettled? Let’s find the A part of Dr Ellis’ ABC paradigm. His best friend Otter has moved away. How is he feeling at C? Anger and deep sadness. Why? Because he believes this should not happen and things must be the same or he can’t be happy again!

Ellis talks about absolute must type thinking, intransigent and fixed. Here Franklin’s settled and predictable way of life has been upset and changed. Is it reasonable to demand that things stay the same as Franklin would expect? REBT says no.

Ultimately Franklins outlook changes with the help of his father and he feels again happy and optimistic. Has Otter returned? No. So what has changed?

Franklin’s mindset has become more fluid and accommodating of what has happened. He’s altered his mind map to better reflect the territory, the reality of what's happening. Franklin’s thinking is more preferential than absolutist. Whilst he would like Otter to be living near, she can’t but they can still be friends in a different way.

Ask the children why does Franklin feel better. Is it because Otter has returned? No. So, what has changed. Brain Bully thinking has changed to Brain Friend thinking, from Success Stopper thinking to Success Helper thinking.

The ABC Theory of Emotional Disturbance is introduced here and reinforced via literacy, reading and talking and applying to personal experience.

The ET above, we’ll use here to explain the function or purpose of it in daily teaching and counselling practice. It’s simply a thermometer and children will be able to suggest what it is according to their knowledge and experience. As a particular kind of thermometer measures heat this measures feelings and emotions. When we consider anger and think of words that belong to this family of words, we might talk about how they would be paced on the ET in terms of their strength or intensity. E.G., words like, angry, annoyed, miffed, enraged, furious, irate, irked, vexed, irritated

With young constructivists we might use the annoyed, angry, furious, miffed. Where would these sit on the ET scale of emotional intensity?

Teachers can add to their literacy program and include emotional literacy as demonstrated by the Franklin analysis.

In summary we have considered how we might teach and reinforce the idea that thinking, feeling and acting are interconnected in the early childhood setting.

Franklin’s demeanour was one of anger and deep upset, and the ET helped us ascertain the kind and strength of emotion he was experiencing. However, his disposition changed to one of positivity and enthusiasm because something fundamental had changed.

His upset is linked to irrational thinking, or Success Stopper/Brain Bully thinking. The children will suggest this as they are familiar with these terms. What are his BB rules that cause his upset?

- I must get what I want

- This is not fair

- I'll never be happy again

His dad helped him look again, rethink the situation and Franklin changed his rigidly held outlook to a SH/BF one:

- It’s not what I want but I can still be friends with Otter

- I can handle this

- This is not a humungous problem

What had changed? The children will tell you!

Teachers can use the many songs and rhymes available to reinforce the philosophy expounded via the HAGS Framework.

Dr Ellis here reminds us that how we feel and act is largely due to the personal philosophies we have constructed be they helpful or helpful, rational, or irrational, BF/SH or BB/SS thinking. In other words, we make ourselves feel as we do!

Have a Go Spaghettio! Give It a Try Banana Pie!