Reciprocal Crap Exchange

Cost/Benefit Analysis

2011-03-07T09:27:00.001-08:00

(click to embiggen)

From here; found here.

A Timely Joke

2011-02-28T08:07:00.000-08:00

Found in the tubes:

A unionized public employee, an ill-informed citizen, and a CEO are sitting at a table. In the middle of the table is a plate with a dozen cookies on it. The CEO reaches across and takes 11 cookies, looks at the ill-informed citizen and says, "Watch out for that union guy. He wants a piece of your cookie."

Found in the comments at the oft-delightful G&T

It's Just a Word

2011-01-31T08:04:00.000-08:00

Do any of our readers remember the now-defunct blog Stuff Black People Hate? It was a thing of beauty, and I was terribly sad when Chris decided to stop writing it. If you don't know his blog, please go there immediately and read every last word.

Chris posted an article today that he wrote, in response to letters that he has received that ask, "Why is the N-word so explosive/I am a white person, why can't I use the N-word?". This article is much more tempered and less humorous than his blog posts were, but it's still a good read.

The ManHood

2011-01-23T07:35:00.000-08:00

I don't have much to say about this product, other than the fact that I find the Foreskin Restoration Movement absolutely fascinating. I've read about a few different "systems" that are recommended for circumcised men to "reclaim" their foreskins (though, that last link looks just like instructions for masturbating). Things like different combinations of tape, tiny little weights, and other stretchifying things.

This product - The ManHood - does not attempt to restore a foreskin to its former glory, but it does claim to act as a foreskin substitute. From the website:

ManHood® was first developed by R&C Associates to help stop the de-sensitizing effect of circumcision. We do this by providing an artificial natural environment resulting in sensitivity changes because your nerve endings are closer to the surface. By using ManHood®, your penile glans will change from dry and chafed, to one that is shiny soft. Guaranteed.

This is exactly why I love the internets. Being able to peer into a world that has absolutely nothing to do with me is one of my fav-o-rite hobbies.

[h/t : The GoodMen Project via Feministe]

Do No Motherfucking Harm

2011-01-17T14:40:00.000-08:00

Right before George W. Bush left office in 2008, his administration granted protections to healthcare workers who choose to withhold care from a patient based on their religious, moral, or ethical beliefs.

Which brings us to the following bullcrap from Idaho, where Planned Parenthood of the Greater Northwest has filed a complaint with the Idaho Pharmacy Board. A nurse practitioner from a Planned Parenthood in Boise tried to call a prescription in to a Walgreens for Methergine, which is used to stop bleeding from the uterus following childbirth, miscarriage, or abortion.

From the article:

Planned Parenthood officials said the complaint states that the pharmacist inquired if the patient needed the drug for post-abortion care. The nurse refused to answer the question based on confidentiality of health information.

According to Planned Parenthood, the pharmacist then stated that if the nurse practitioner did not disclose that information, she would not fill the prescription. The nurse alleged that the pharmacist hung up when asked for a referral to another pharmacy that would fill the prescription.

Words fail me right now, so I suggest you just go watch this short video instead (embedding was disabled).

[h/t: Dan Savage's blog at The Stranger]

You Won't Believe Your Spies

2011-01-17T00:26:00.001-08:00

Shocking--shocking!--news; the Swiss think we're spying on their soil...through the US Embassy.

[linky]

Since when are diplomatic bases used as clandestine intelligence-gathering outposts? That's downright ungentlemanly.

Figure 1: John le Carre' is surprised at us!

As usual, the Yahoo! commenters have it all sorted out.

joebigelk 30 minutes ago Report Abuse
maybe it time we need to have sureillance on are own corrupt banks and politicians in this country.

You tell 'em, joebigelk. Are bodie politik, it aliev and well.

(via Yahoo!)

Jenny McCarthy is Evil

2011-01-14T14:49:00.000-08:00

A gentleman by the name of Derek Bartholomaus really, really dislikes Jenny McCarthy. Why would he harbor anger toward such a lovely lady, you ask? Well, he's pretty annoyed at her record of publicly advocating that parents should not vaccinate their children because she believes that vaccinations might lead to autism.

Bartholomaus is not a doctor or a scientist, but he's put together a website, recounting the history of the issue and the number of childhood illnesses and deaths that followed McCarthy's promotion of the anti-vaccination campaign, beginning in 2007. The site seems pretty thoroughly researched, I might add. I'm kind of impressed.

The study that McCarthy based her entire position on on has since been discredited numerous times. The research was recently shown to be fraudulent, and the doctor behind the study has lost his license to practice medicine in the UK. However, none of this will likely have as much of an impact as McCarthy's appearance on Oprah in 2007 to publicize her crusade.

So really, I blame Oprah for this mess.

Don Florian

2011-01-13T11:36:00.001-08:00

So this guy's just a hobbyist; he's a lawyer by trade. But holy crap is this unbelievable:

Figure 1: How the fuck do I hold that?

He doesn't have distribution in the U.S. yet, but he sells some of his pipes on the eBays sometimes. They're all handmade; in addition to the gigantor example up above he makes some traditional shapes, too.

He's also very nice and responds to email questions.

donflorian.com

Aunties for Life!

2011-01-12T09:46:00.000-08:00

I had fun this weekend at H-Mart, which is a pan-Asian grocery chain. It was full of lovely things to eat, but even better were all of the aunties and grannies from all over the Asian diaspora, fussing over the produce and elbowing me out of the way for free samples.

That made me remember the short film by Geeta Malik from 2004, "Auntie G". So I'm pouring one out for all those ladies - from Mumbai to Manila - who are keeping it real in North America.

The Church Was Right All Along

2010-09-13T12:11:00.000-07:00

Treading the thin, thin line between elaborate hoax and hilariously earnest idiocy, we find the "Galileo Was Wrong" conference on--you guessed it!--geocentrism.

Just...just wow.

Scientific evidence available to us within the last 100 years that was not available during Galileo's confrontation shows that the Church's position on the immobility of the Earth is not only scientifically supportable, but it is the most stable model of the universe and the one which best answers all the evidence we see in the cosmos.

Yes. Yes it does.

Figure 1: Teabagger Jebus

Some major kudos are in order if this is a joke.

A wash of intermixed tears of uncontrollable laughter and desperate sadness if it's not.

That's some good times, right there. Good, American times.

[h/t: mistermix at Balloon Juice]

Another Oil Well Explosion...

2010-09-02T16:00:00.000-07:00

...another round of stellar, just magnificent reporting. From the ol' AP:

All 13 of the platform's crew members were rescued from the water. They were found huddled together in insulated survival outfits called "Gumby suits" for their resemblance to the cartoon character.

Mm, hm. Mm-hm. So...they're not called "Gumby suits" for some other reason?

Because when I read that I said to myself, "I wonder why they're called Gumby suits? Ah! It's probably because of their proximity to New Orleans and its environs, wherein a famous local dish called gumbo is served; and, communication being what it is, the word was probably adopted by local off-shore workers in reference to their suits as a sort of nod to their adopted home; and later corrupted and mispronounced/misspelled, possibly owing to the peculiarities resulting in the confluence of the regional Cajun pronunciation with another, imported English dialect [note to self: good research topic!] and, purely coincidentally and with no reference to the erstwhile famous TV character, evolved to be called Gumby suits."

But, sadly, no.

Figure 1: Wrong again. Good thing I have the AP to set me straight!

Ted Stevens Was Not A Truck

2010-08-10T12:59:00.000-07:00

Figure 1: I can't be the only one who thought of this today.

He was a series of tubes.

Cats for Gold Program Sweeping America!

2010-08-02T10:01:00.000-07:00

Trade in your old gold jewelry and junk for cats!

That's some good internets right there, reason enough to get up in the e-morning.

(Found here, at Cole's place.)

Figure 1: A picture randomly selected from the tubes, by me, for you.

Consumption Item 32: Peter Stokkebye Proper English Pipe Tobacco

2010-07-29T14:44:00.000-07:00

Name: Proper English
Manufacturer/Blender: Peter Stokkebye (Denmark)
Series/Line: Stokkebye Signature Series

Composition: Bright old belt Virginia base, with Orientals and a generous amount of Latakia
Curing: Air cured
Cut: Ribbon
Packaging: Bulk (solely, as near as I can tell)
Flavoring(s): None. (It's a "proper" English blend. See?)

Tin and/or Manufacturer's Description: "The most Latakia of any blend we make combined with old belt Virginias and Orientals for a classic blend."

Pouch/Tin aroma: Sweet Virginia tobacco, clove, clay (schist?), white pepper, some other spices: Caraway seed? Marjoram? ...as well as that certain Latakia tang.
Appearance: About 60%/40% blond-to-dark.

Figure 1: A composition in tobacco.

Moisture: Average, but it's sold in bulk, so it must vary by tobacconist.

Strength: Medium
Flavor: Medium, with medium complexity

Top bowl: Powdered spices, hints of citrus (lemon) zest in the acidity. A bit of cereal-grain sweetness, like toasted oats, from the Virginias, but not really sweet. Nice interplay of spices.
Middle bowl: A tad sweeter perhaps, but really more like cured leather. The clay soil really gets going here, as the spices develop a bit and some saltiness creeps in.
Bottom Bowl: Clay, sea salt, and leather, as the spices mellow out and combine. White pepper-y and [toasted?] cardamom Latakia flavors throughout.

Room Note: Pleasant and spicy if somewhat strong.
Ash: Coarse salt-and-pepper.

Figure 2: Not as homogenous, perhaps, as one would like, but still interesting.

This is the second or third Stokkebye blend I've tried, and I like it well. Especially for the money (about $5 an ounce!), this is a fantastic English blend with a lot of Latakia.

Far from the most Latakia-y of blends that announce their intention to be just that, the mixture is balanced and tasty, with the Virginias supplying the base and some sweetness over which the Orientals and Latakia dance and play. However, it's still strong and peppery, and some would probably find it overly aggressive or, perhaps, for evening or after-dinner smoking.

With a decent pack and a proper light I can smoke it all the way down with no relighting, and, if careful, without even tamping it down (!), so that at the end my tamper slides effortlessly through a full bowl of ash to the heel of the pipe.

This review is based on several (okay...many) bowls of Proper English I've enjoyed from my Italian churchwarden.

Figure 3: Do not taunt the warden.

It burns nice and cool if you don't force it; further, if allowed to come to room humidity, produces little pipe gurgle. Also, it has no bite, even when I smoke it too hot/fast.

If perhaps it lacks a bit in complexity, it is made up for in sheer deliciousness; this is compounded by its absurdly low asking price.

Determination: Solid and tasty; ridiculously so considering the money. Recommended for everyday and bulk smoking, or fans of English-style blends with a taste for Latakia.

Cthulhu Bobblehead

2010-07-17T09:23:00.000-07:00

This is the best. reason. ever. to actually have a thing with a head that bobbles.

Cute and insane? Sign me up!

This is the Kind of Crap for Which This Blog Was Intended

2010-06-08T09:06:00.000-07:00

Sesame Street Fighter. Because: well, obviously.

Need more be said?

Found here.

Fantasy SCOTUS

2010-05-21T12:42:00.000-07:00

Like Fantasy Baseball? Fond of high-end jurisprudence? Now you can play

Fantasy Supreme Court Justice

!1eleven!

That is genius. I wish I'd thought of it.

I guess, really, it was only a matter of time...

There Are Eight Whos in the What Now?

2010-05-12T00:50:00.001-07:00

It's interesting that some of the discussion about Obama's most recent Supreme Court Nominee, Elena Kagan, revolves around the religious makeup of the Highest Court in the Land.

If approved, it would make six Catholics and three Jews on the bench; this is seen by some as a problem. In an interesting article, Ed Kilgore (over at the baseball statistic-influenced political analysis site 538.com) takes a look at this potential Protestant-Free court.

Which is interesting.

More interesting is the historical analysis of the comparative makeup of the Court versus the public at large.

More interesting still is a simple breakdown of the [professed] religious affiliation of sitting Senators.

Astonishingly, there are no atheist senators.

Actually astonishingly, and still more interesting: There are eight Mormon senators. That's incredible.

About 2% of Americans are Mormons. And 16% of senators?

Figure 1: Mitt Romney for President.

Unleashing the Power of the Free Market

2010-05-03T01:47:00.000-07:00

Figure 1: Look: industry's not stupid; they'll regulate themselves!

Bullshit

2010-05-01T02:59:00.000-07:00

Via AP:

MEXICO CITY - The Mexico-based World Boxing Council will not schedule Mexican fighters for bouts in Arizona to protest what it called the state's "shameful, inhuman and discriminatory" immigration law.
Arizona recently passed a law that makes it a crime to be in the state illegally.

Yeah; no.

It allows the detention and questioning of anyone "reasonably suspected" to be "illegal"; that is, guilty until proven innocent, papers please, and so on.

Framing it otherwise is, at best, disingenuous, and at worst deliberate obfuscation.

Oh, and P.S.: Fuck yes, WBC.

Enter Johnny Mnemonic

2010-04-19T00:59:00.000-07:00

Found on livescience.com, the implant interface is here!

New Implants Mold to Brain like Shrink-Wrap

Heh. Time for some cybernetically-enhanced reflexes and a deck jack in the head, methinks.

Figure 1: I own this book. Yeah, I know.

"Teabonics"

2010-03-31T01:10:00.000-07:00

Continuing stream of epic fail documented on Flickr set.

Heh. Teabonics.

I get it.

(Found here.)

Presented without Comment

2010-03-26T11:26:00.000-07:00

Found here.

Tom DeLay Is A Shitheel Fuckhole Douchewad Fucking Retard...

2010-03-09T01:02:00.000-08:00

...and we're gonna need some new English words, because I can't properly express my contempt.

(via Yahoo! via HuffPo)

Tom Delay: People Are Unemployed Because They Want To Be

Is that right? No wonder I've been thinking about becoming a Republican! It's almost like they're the perfect marriage of reason and compassion.

"You know," Delay said, "there is an argument to be made that these extensions, the unemployment benefits keeps people from going and finding jobs. In fact there are some studies that have been done that show people stay on unemployment compensation and they don't look for a job until two or three weeks before they know the benefits are going to run out.

Wow, some studies? Uncited studies?

Really? That sounds about as peer-reviewed as the Grammys.

Figure 1: Captain Fucktard

Pithy is The New 25-Year Old Saturday Night Live Reference

2010-02-22T21:05:00.000-08:00

So, so many goaddamn online T-shirt companies. Is there any room left in this already-crowded industry? What kind of concept could garner any share of this saturated market?

One Word Shirts

Eh, it's not genius, but clever enough to make me laugh. You get one word to express yourself on your shirt: what's it gonna be?

I mean, "meh" is pretty good. What else you got?

Okay, that's pretty awesome. It's just a little...2008, you know?

Hilarious and to the point. But it's not really me.

Now that's what I call a fucking open text. You have to follow the chain of signification just to get to the goddamn irony.

(This is not a fucking advertisement. We don't call it the Crap Exchange for nothing.)

[Edit: Spelling error corrected. Sue me.]