Reciprocal Crap Exchange

Oh, So Suddenly He's "Hurricane" Rick?

2009-10-17T16:57:00.000-07:00

From Yahoo! News:

Hurricane Rick has become an "extremely dangerous" Category 5 storm off Mexico's Pacific coast.

Well, he's certainly a disaster. But the Rio Grande's not exactly a coast.

Wait. What?

Cheese or Font?

2009-10-17T01:28:00.000-07:00

Well, this one's probably been making the rounds, but it's new to me.

http://cheeseorfont.mogrify.org/

So, yeah. There are about 200 words; you have to decide whether the word describes a cheese, or a font.

And: it sucks. If you're anything like me, you're apparently an idiot.

The Internet: We've Got Everything! (tm)*

*May not be trademarked

[h/t to Honor. You know who you are.]

Improbable Island

2009-09-30T12:33:00.001-07:00

I know you. I bet you need a clever, random text-based browser game to play, don't you? Don't you?

Improbable Island

Post-apocalypse punk, post-ironic, Douglas Adams-y meta humor silliness at your service.

I'm only level 4, but already I've upgraded from my spork to a butter knife, and got me some sweet pink footie pajamas for armor. I'm headed back out to the jungle to see if I can find a midget plumber that reminds me of a certain 1980s video game character to kill.

Webcomic Revisitation: Wondermark Fiction Generator

2009-09-27T09:59:00.000-07:00

Well, if you don't read Wondermark, you should. Its delightful, quirky neo-Victorian style is, indeed, as advertised, "An Illustrated Jocularity."

And once in a while, a true gem comes out: behold the Fiction Generator!

(Click to Embiggen)

[waits while you go look]

Even better, intrepid and devoted readers of the strip have created working models of said Fiction Generator, which are all too close to reality.

Truly, Teh Awesome.

We're out of...Bullets?

2009-09-24T01:42:00.000-07:00

Historic bullet shortage sweeps U.S. (AP via Yahoo! news)

We're out of...bullets?

Bullets, especially for handguns, have been scarce for months because gun enthusiasts are stocking up on ammo, in part because they fear President Barack Obama and the Democratic-controlled Congress will pass antigun legislation — even though nothing specific has been proposed and the president last month signed a law allowing people to carry loaded guns in national parks.

Huh. Mountain molehill something something?

"I call it the Obama effect," said Gregory, 37, of Terrytown, La. "It always happens when the Democrats get in office. It happened with Clinton and Obama is even stronger for gun control. Ammunition will be the first step, so I'm stocking up while I can."

So far, the new administration nor Congress has not been markedly antigun. Obama has said he respects Second Amendment rights, but favors "common sense" on gun laws. Still, worries about what could happen persist.

Or just completely unfounded fears, right? Hmm.

"We are working overtime and still can't keep up with the demand," said Al Russo, spokesman for North Carolina-based Remington Arms Company, which makes bullets for rifles, handguns and shotguns. "We've had to add a fourth shift and go 24-7. It's a phenomenon that I have not seen before in my 30 years in the business."

I mean, how many bullets do we need? Or: how many do we usually...

Americans usually buy about 7 billion rounds of ammunition a year, according to the National Rifle Association. In the past year, that figure has jumped to about 9 billion rounds, said NRA spokeswoman Vickie Cieplak.

Well, I...wait, what?

NINE BILLION FUCKING ROUNDS?

Pingwire

2009-09-12T18:00:00.000-07:00

Pingwire is a site that's been around for - I dunno, months maybe? In their own words, it "is an almost live feed of images being published to twitter using twitpic, yfrog, and twitgoo."

The images go by pretty quickly, as you might imagine.

Here, in chronological order and with their captions, are the five images that came up immediately after I finished typing this sentence (no foolin'):

Fig. 1: Had to keep busy. Put these up on my wall:

Fig. 2: Aqui o 4shared tá normal. ._.

Fig. 3: Epic Ewok cake!!

Fig. 4: On the road to Syracuse, NY to do our first electro set, wish us luck and stay tuned!

Fig. 5: Photo Joe Calfchild, Blackfoot

As you can see, it's basically a lumps-and-all visual Zeitgeist monitor. I recommend it, if only for about 40 seconds at a time.

(click any photo to see source)

What's the Worst Thing?

2009-09-11T20:17:00.001-07:00

OK, so the wife and I just watched MST3K's greatest/worst work, Manos: The Hands of Fate, and it got me to thinking... What's the worst thing you could ever be a part of and be able to justify to yourself artistically?

And how would you justify it, of course.

And irony doesn't count.

I think mine might be Gilmore Girls, if only because Achewood referenced it. I've only ever seen maybe two episodes, but I thought it was pretty good.

Web

2009-09-11T00:59:00.000-07:00

Once again, by following a link or clicking randomly or stream-of-consciousness Google-ing (I really have no idea) I found this thing I need to share.

(Click to embiggen)

Crappy Muffin, heh. Sorry, "Billy."

It's called Buttersafe. I don't know what that means. It's pretty random, which I seem to favor as far as these things go.

Redundant Link

Senator Al Franken Draws A Map of the US

2009-09-07T12:28:00.000-07:00

By hand. From memory.

Fuck and yes.

Found at World O' Crap.

Twenty Questions

2009-09-03T14:29:00.000-07:00

Surprisingly accurate, surprisingly fun.

What a world!

Twenty Questions

Meh, it's probably not that new, but it was new to me. Try The Simpsons version, I had trouble stumping it.

How Do You Spell "Disingenuous?"

2009-08-30T09:33:00.000-07:00

This would be funnier if it was some sort of, well...joke.

U.S. Rep Ken Calvert over in the ol' California 44th ("The Fightin' 44th!") has an awesome survey on his website wherein you can voice your opinion on health care reform.

Sort of. It's more than a little loaded. And more than a little poorly constructed.

All appropriated material in red, and, furthermore, fair use.

Health Care Reform Survey

Or go to his website:

http://calvert.house.gov/

...and let him know what you think.

If we're going to expand the Federal government (more, again, still), let's not pretend the Republicans didn't oversee the largest such expansion ever.

How about, considering overspending seems inevitable, if we get to pick between wars of choice and healthcare?

This Is Obviously Totally Not What It Looks Like

2009-08-27T15:25:00.000-07:00

OTTAWA, Kan. – A freshman Kansas congresswoman said Thursday that her remark about fellow Republicans seeking a "great white hope" was not a reference to someone who could challenge President Barack Obama or his political agenda.

Figure 1: To what, exactly, were you referring?

Yeah...see. That's a reference to boxing. It goes like this: a black boxer won the heavyweight title in the early 20th century; this had some backlash in the (shall we say) less-than-enlightened community at the time.

It was wished that someone, er, white, who could challenge him would be the "Great White Hope."

Pretty fucking cut-and-dried.

Thanks, Yahoo! news!

(And special thanks to our Republican friends in Kansas. Keep reaching for that rainbow!)

Oh God No.

2009-08-26T20:22:00.000-07:00

Description: Defied.

via Everything Is Terrible!

Free Money!

2009-08-26T04:58:00.000-07:00

I heard about this last night, and found the link on metafilter today. So fucking jealous that I didn't think of it first.

The only way I can think to cash in is to undercut their prices. $110 for ten years? That's outrageous! I'll do it for $50 for LIFE!

My New Favorite Video

2009-08-14T16:26:00.000-07:00

This pretty well stands on its own, and I don't much feel like unpacking it anyway:

In memory of Les Paul, the father of multi-track audio recording.

Webcomic of the Week

2009-08-13T10:57:00.000-07:00

Honestly, I don't know sometimes where I find these things.

Three Word Phrase doesn't seem to have any focus or larger theme...or does it?

Figure 1: "Swimming Hole" (click to embiggen)

Hmm. What about this?:

Figure 2: Hidden Nuts (ditto)

So...yeah.

Found here.

About Fucking Time

2009-08-11T08:28:00.000-07:00

Did it really take us this long to "unleash the power of the free market" on energy efficiency?

Seriously? Men on the moon, but MPG ratings from the 1950s? Fail.

Efficient Car Link

Wow! Who'd-a thunk?

But:

The first-generation Volt is expected to cost near $40,000, making it cost-prohibitive to many people even if gasoline returns to $4 per gallon. The price is expected to drop with future generations of the Volt, but GM has said government tax credits and the savings on fuel could make it cost-effective, especially at 230 miles per gallon.

Well, yeah. And the first IBM XT probably cost as much as a small house, but, jeez.

This Is Funny and I Am a Lazy Blogger

2009-08-10T08:25:00.000-07:00

The Internet!

Kudos to the people who made this for avoiding the easy "Serious Business" gag.

Just Because; or, Everybody's Doing It

2009-08-09T14:58:00.000-07:00

(click to embiggen)

Make yours here! Send it to Lou Dobbs while you're at it. Fuckhead.

[via WTF Is It Now]

Religion Is Awesome, Never Used As Excuse for Evil

2009-08-09T11:29:00.000-07:00

From The Council for Secular Humanism (entire article here):

Incredibly, President George W. Bush told French President Jacques Chirac in early 2003 that Iraq must be invaded to thwart Gog and Magog, the Bible’s satanic agents of the Apocalypse.

Words fail.

Now out of office, Chirac recounts that the American leader appealed to their “common faith” (Christianity) and told him: “Gog and Magog are at work in the Middle East…. The biblical prophecies are being fulfilled…. This confrontation is willed by God, who wants to use this conflict to erase his people’s enemies before a New Age begins.”

Uh-huh. Why didn't they just try to sell us on that, I wonder?

Well, I...what? More?

Recently, GQ magazine revealed that former Defense Secretary Donald Rumsfeld attached warlike Bible verses and Iraq battle photos to war reports he hand-delivered to Bush. One declared: “Put on the full armor of God, so that when the day of evil comes, you may be able to stand your ground.”

This would be fucking uproariously hilarious if it wasn't so unbelievably, terrifyingly true.

Moral: Never Go Anywhere

2009-08-05T01:19:00.000-07:00

Silent Gunman's PA Healthclub Shooting Kills 4

Now, there are clearly more or less dangerous places to be, right?

A gym in Bridgeville, PA, population 5300?

The radical contingency of the real is oozing out.

What?

(click to embiggen)

ToneMatrix

2009-08-02T16:42:00.000-07:00

This will blow your world, or rock your mind, or some such.

55% of Americans Surveyed Have Insufficient Grasp of Reality; Voting Elilgibility Questioned...

2009-08-01T19:04:00.000-07:00

by me.

Majority of Americans believe they've been protected from harm by a guardian angel.

Really? Guh.

Someday I'll stop being surprised.

However, the question's exact phraseology was not divulged; the survey was from Baylor University, an overtly religious institution; and hurrrrrrrrrr.

But only 59% believe in Hell? Merely 4% fewer people believe they've personally been protected by invisible magical guardians than believe in Hell.

Hurrrrrr.

This Just In: I'm A Prophet!

2009-07-25T11:13:00.000-07:00

Ah, the age-old justification for anything:

"But I'm a prophet! Stop persecuting me! You couldn't possibly understand!"

Which is basically what this guy:

said when arrested for marrying several girls, mostly under the legal age, and assorted other creepy acts (aka "sex crimes").

Even better is the parents of the girls, who thought this was a great idea, because, hey! He's from God and he's here to help. They'll have ponies and television!

What? What could possibly go wrong? I mean, he looks honest! So what if he wants to marry my 8-year old daughter?

What?

Totally A Man of God (Not Pictured: God)

If it wasn't for the poor girls subjected to this treatment, I'd say the parents got what they deserved for being gullible idiots. I mean: he says he's a prophet. Who'd lie about that?

Oops. Well, there was that.

Oh, Tennessee. How much is Arkansas paying you to look dumber than they do?*

*Don't forget Texas!

"Trust me! I'm totally probably like God and stuff. Hey, let's horde food and weapons! That will never end badly."

Oklahoma Is An Enlightened Place

2009-07-15T09:19:00.000-07:00

I wish I was from a place that thinks that this dude is an appropriate person to send to the fucking Senate:

From Yahoo! news:

Sen. Tom Coburn evoked a 1950s TV show in a quip responding to Sonia Sotomayor’s scenario about what he might do if she -- hypothetically, of course -- attacked him.
"You'll have a lot of 'splainin' to do," Coburn said, to laughter from the crowd and Sotomayor. What he said -- and how he said it -- was a riff on a Hispanic television character, Ricky Ricardo, whose accent is now widely considered a broad parody.

Really?

Really?