All of which caused us to remember a piece we did on Cabela’s for the Metro Times Summer Guide five years ago. We’re still just as impressed with the joint as we were then, but it’s been a long time since we had such fun describing a store. For example: “The conceit of the store — a place where outdoorsmen may buy premium goods amid simulacra of the great outdoors — creates the unique kind of American experience that makes French deconstructionists pop a boner.”

Read on by clicking here.

The landmark half-hour, which aired at 9 p.m. Tuesday, April 16, on the cable network, also merited a special invitation-only screening Tuesday evening at the Landmark Main Art Theatre in Royal Oak. Attendees included the series principals Les Gold, his son Seth Gold and daughter Ashley Gold Broad, proprietors of the now-legendary American Jewelry and Loan on Eight Mile at Greenfield.

To many Detroiters, Hardcore Pawn is the prosperous, affluent relative you don’t talk about because you’re embarrassed by how he makes his fortune. The show launched its seventh season last month as the most successful series in truTV history, drawing the network’s largest audience ever in TV’s coveted 18-to-49 year-old demographic and routinely attracting more than 3 million viewers each week. The 100th episode, generally considered the benchmark for syndication purposes, means the Golds could remain TV mainstays long after the show ceases production.

However, much of the show’s success revolves around its crude, rough-and-tumble nature, marked by profanity-laced customers (and owners), violent in-store confrontations and physical ejections from the building by mountainous security people. It’s a consistent format that causes some locals to denounce the show for not depicting the city in a positive light to its worldwide audience.

Given that history, it was surprising that the 100th episode of Hardcore Pawn overpromised – through a weeklong series of promo commercials that vowed “100 times more” deals and action – and underdelivered. In contrast even to the first three shows of this season, Tuesday’s fourth installment seemed almost subdued.

This episode’s premise centered around an employee who devised his own side hustle to sell customers front-of-the-line privileges for a $3 tip at the door, causing havoc inside the pawn shop. Ashley, reacting to the irate customers waiting their turns, employed her detective skills to identify the culprit.

The family conflict in this episode arose over whether to fire Anton, the enterprising worker who conceived the tip-jar scam. Seth wants him out, no mercy or second chances. In the end, however, compassion came from a most unlikely source.

The highlight of the program, especially for longtime Detroiters, was the arrival of an immaculately restored, 1947 replica of a green Vernor’s ginger ale delivery truck that the seller was willing to part with for $45,000. Les ultimately walked away from the deal, but should have bought at any price. (Vernor’s is a symbol of Detroit, and the truck was very sweet).

However, the show’s laugh-out-loud moment occurred when a customer tried to sell Les an “I-Grow Laser Hair Growth System” – essentially, a heat lamp inside a goofy-looking silver helmet with suction cups and headphones – and Bobby, American Jewelry and Loan’s follically-challenged employee, volunteered to try it on.

The device caused the top of Bobby’s round dome to light up with a neon red glow.

“You look like a Christmas tree,” Les remarked.

“I look like a (bleep),” Bobby replied.

The kicker: the seller himself was bald. “Well, I didn’t use the thing,” he maintained. “I’m very happy being bald.”

First-run episodes of Hardcore Pawn air at 9 p.m. Tuesdays on truTV.

Jim McFarlin writes about media for the Metro Times. Another version of this story, including reasons why Detroit should embrace Hardcore Pawn and the show’s Top 5 customer ejections of the season, can be found on McFarlin’s TV blog, Big Glowing Box. Follow him on Twitter, @BigGlowingBox.

Why, the scariest place in southeast Michigan, of course!

Erebus, the fabled four-story Halloween frightfest in downtown Pontiac billed as the world’s largest walk-through haunted attraction, is the site for this week’s new episode of My Ghost Story, premiering at 9 p.m. Saturday on BIO.

In the segment, Erebus co-owner Ed Terebus and his nephew, Zack, a full-time employee, are the featured storytellers, relating the history of the house and the findings of a paranormal investigator who visited the location the Saturday before last Halloween – when the spirits presumably would be riled up by the thousands of visitors walking through.

Ed says that when he purchased the 100,000 square-foot property, it had been vacant nearly 40 years. “When we bought the house there were rumors about this homeless guy who died in the basement,” he says. Although they could neither confirm nor deny the story, a sleeping bag and pillow were discovered in the basement… and left there. You know, just in case.

Apparently the homeless ghost is a noisy sleeper.”There have been two occasions where I was 100 percent convinced that someone was in this building,” says Ed, who lives in a loft on the building’s third floor. “I called the p0lice, a K-9 unit searched the whole house, and found nothing.”

Oh, but the paranormal investigator who took measurements throughout the building found – oh, why spoil a good ghost story by giving the ending away? The My Ghost Story episode repeats at the stroke of midnight on BIO.

Jim McFarlin writes about media for the Metro Times. He also covers television with a Motor City flavor on his blog, Big Glowing Box. Follow him on Twitter @BigGlowingBox.

Yesterday afternoon, on March 20, the first day of spring, a procession of guitarists took over the streets of Detroit. Outfitted with portable amplifiers, they created a sonic stew while walking through the Cultural Center, Wayne State University and the Cass Corridor, before circling back up Woodward to the Detroit Institute of Arts for their finale. For those expecting it, the performance was an opportunity to witness a spectacle from New York they’d only read about. And, for the unwitting, the scene was mostly a delightful surprise.

Longtime correspondent and reader Allen Salyer walked along with the guitarists and had this to report:

Photo courtesy Allen Salyer

I actually attended the Tilted Axes Guitar Procession … even though the weather was uninviting (it was cold and windy and started snowing at one point – welcome to spring). There were 22 guitarists and about 20 people following, with two dogs in tow.

Photo courtesy Allen Salyer

It was fun marching past all sorts of Midtown venues and historic buildings.

Photo courtesy Allen Salyer

As much as I am downtown I managed to discover some new things like the Cass Farms Green Alley, the Hygienic Dress League graffiti on Alexandrine and it was the first time I have been in the Motor City Brewery.

Photo courtesy Allen Salyer

The procession went inside the WSU student union building (the students eating lunch were stunned and amused), Cass Cafe, Motor City Brewery and the Majestic Cafe.

Photo courtesy Allen Salyer

Some passing cars blew there horns in support. Some poor student stuck in the back up waiting for the procession to pass was yelling “Come on! Turn!” at Cass and Warren.

Many people stopped to ask what was going on and who they were.

 There were about a dozen other people with cameras and we were all running up ahead of the procession trying to get good shots – lotsa exercise. Anyway, thanks again for the article. I enjoy doing things downtown, especially if they are music-related.

Thank YOU, Allen for the pics and commentary. Sounds like Patrick Grant pulled off a first in a town known for them!

Wednesday 22nd

• 
  CHARLI XCX

  

  St. Andrew’s Hall: [READ MORE]

• 
  Synesthesia

  

  Red Bull House of Art:
  Exploring how seven artists who work in both fine art and electronic music during a three-day showcase of full circle creation, cultivation and abstract presentation. disciplin. [READ MORE]

• 
  Joe Louis Walker

  

  Callahan’s Music Hall: [READ MORE]

• 
  BORN RUFFIANS / MOON KING

  

  Magic Stick: [READ MORE]

Thursday 23rd

• 
  Synesthesia

  

  Red Bull House of Art:
  Exploring how seven artists who work in both fine art and electronic music during a three-day showcase of full circle creation, cultivation and abstract presentation. disciplin. [READ MORE]

• 
  Designer Drugs

  

  New York-based DJ-production duo Designer Drugs apparently clocked up more than 300,000 air miles in the past year, highlighting the fact that these two men are as busy as almighty fuck right now. The album Hardcore/Softcore is set to drop, and the… [READ MORE]

Friday 24th

• 
  HOUSE HEADQUARTERS

  

  … [READ MORE]

• 
  Chromatic Jackie • Magas

  

  This multimedia performance at the Museum of Contemporary Art could be a great way to get into alignment for a weekend of electronic music. The headline act is Chromatic Jackie, a collaborative ensemble… [READ MORE]

• 
  Bang Tech 12 turns 17

  

  Bang Tech 12 started in 1996 in Detroit There are branches and artists in Michigan, Ohio, Indiana, Illinois, Minnesota, Tennessee and Florida as well as France, Scotland, Croatia and The Netherlands…. [READ MORE]

• 
  [something clever] FREE MOVEMENT OPENING PARTY ft ATNARKO

  

  Northern Lights Lounge: [READ MORE]

• 
  Ron Zakrin: Beauty & The Beats

  

  … [READ MORE]

• 
  Movement Weekend Kick-Off Party + BBQ

  

  TV:
  CASSY, DEREK PLASLAIKO, ORCHARD LOUNGE, NATE MANIC, THE BLACK MADONNA, ARAN DANIELS, MISTER JOSHOOA, MIKE PETRACK [READ MORE]

• 
  BURNSKI / Jon Dadon / Golf Clap

  

  The Grasshopper Underground: [READ MORE]

• 
  Detroit 442 / Heresy / Eric Addict & the Overdose

  

  “This town’s a concrete factory, and Dad and Mum look just like me, I’m on the plant assembly line. Too late now,” sang Debbie Harry on Blondie’s “Detroit 442,” but those lyrics could just… [READ MORE]

• 
  Cuba: Evolution/Revolution Opening

  

  For those who long for a more revolutionary era, when the proletariat would rise up and shake off their chains like dew, check out this collection of classic images from the Cuban Revolution by several… [READ MORE]

Saturday 25th

• 
  HOUSE HEADQUARTERS

  

  … [READ MORE]

• 
  DIRECT CONTACT

  

  … [READ MORE]

• 
  Movement Electronic Music Festival

  

  Hart Plaza: [READ MORE]

• 
  HPOP Hamtramck Pop-up Art Festival

  

  HPOP activates Hamtramcks main business corridor along Joseph Campau Street with pop-up art galleries, events, activities and spectacle. HPOP draws crowds to explore all Hamtramck has to offer, including… [READ MORE]

• 
  The Murder Junkies

  

  When G.G. Allin died in 1993, a lot of people breathed a sigh of relief. As Tesco Vee once said, “This feces-encrusted, jockstrap-wearin’ stinkbag was just gross.” That said, audiences flocked… [READ MORE]

• 
  Saturday Looks Good To Me

  

  Fred Thomas of His Name Is Alive loves to fuck with people by taking left turns and throwing musical curveballs at every given opportunity, and a few opportunities that weren’t given at all. Experimental… [READ MORE]

Sunday 26th

• 
  HOUSE HEADQUARTERS

  

  … [READ MORE]

• 
  Movement Electronic Music Festival

  

  Hart Plaza: [READ MORE]

• 
  HPOP Hamtramck Pop-up Art Festival

  

  HPOP activates Hamtramcks main business corridor along Joseph Campau Street with pop-up art galleries, events, activities and spectacle. HPOP draws crowds to explore all Hamtramck has to offer, including… [READ MORE]

Monday 27th

• 
  HOUSE HEADQUARTERS

  

  … [READ MORE]

• 
  Movement Electronic Music Festival

  

  Hart Plaza: [READ MORE]

• 
  HPOP Hamtramck Pop-up Art Festival

  

  HPOP activates Hamtramcks main business corridor along Joseph Campau Street with pop-up art galleries, events, activities and spectacle. HPOP draws crowds to explore all Hamtramck has to offer, including… [READ MORE]

Tuesday 28th

• 
  Of Monsters and Men

  

  If Björk taught us anything, it’s that English-language acts from Iceland are going to be awesome, and Of Monsters and Men follow that train of thought quite nicely. The winners of the 2012 M&#… [READ MORE]

Edward Ericson Jr.’s review a while back of Unaccountable by Dr. Marty Makary, asks honesty and humanity of hospitals and doctors. My experience was with a large local hospital where I had thyroid removal surgery last June. In the year lead-up to surgery appointments were difficult to make because of communication problems with entry-level hospital personnel.

Several procedures — ultrasounds, Cat scans, MRIs — were performed during this year. As Dr. Makary asks in Unaccountable, were the procedures always necessary, and were they needlessly expensive? Doctors showing lack of concern about costs to patients was a recurring theme for me.

Finally, in May, a surgical doctor met with me for a half-hour of light explaining. His order: Take the surgery or leave it. I took it but was uninformed that my urinary system might be (and was) knocked
out by drugs used during surgery. “Don’t ask, don’t piss” were the
military-like orders. Result: three-and-a-half months with a catheter.
And, the anesthesiologist, whose surgery drugs may have caused the
harm, collects one-seventh of my income for a year.
My discharge papers specified Flomax prescription to help urine flow.
Thus, I would uselessly take Flomax while catherized, at $110 for 30
pills.

My prolonged medical experience had its heroes and villains. The good
doctors I encountered were in communication with peers in other
departments (i.e., surgery with nuclear medicine). Sympathy to
patients, as Dr. Makary notes, is an important attribute.

I’m healthier now than in some time, although medical expenses have
pretty much emptied my cardboard wallet. Guess the cold months will be
spent reading Metro Times‘ complimentary review books.

 Dennis Shea is Metro Times’ longtime proof reader.

Photo by Sarah Swillum: on the set of Sirens

Late start to the morning… -the Internet’s already way-ahead of me…

If you’ve read anything by me, you’ve already read enough rants on the two rappers referenced -really only in authorship of said-song (“Sirens“) featured in the music video “trailer” streaming below.

Rapraprap, LacquaLacquaLacqua, you know how it goes…those guys who got the Kresge, those guys who keep putting out interesting videos, those guys who’re going as The Blues Brothers this Halloween and are backing-up a rock-trio known as The Ashleys…Steady and productive…they just keep rollin’ along…

This rants about Colin Duerr, though…

…and the cadre of dedicated, impressively adventurous, dynamically exhibitionist female actresses and worm-devouring dancers, scaly, bird-like chartreuse-like and swathed in smoke…welcome to the un-caged visions of Detroit’s daring up-and-coming director, specializing in  “excessive evocative blitzes” of surreal/horrific/sublimely-nightmarish imagery – unhinged from context and pushing hyper-provocative envelopes.

Read about Duerr in next week’s Metro Times (out on Halloween) and see the full video of this song that same night (just in time for when you’re out of trick-or-treating candy…) online at: http://colinduerr.tumblr.com/

Duerr (left)... Photo by: Sarah Swillum

And up next for Duerr – another music video, this one for local indie-rock quartet Fawn and a single from their recently released Coastlines LP – “Cobra on the Beach”

Look up Duerr if you’re intrigued… You might remember him from his directorial work with the Ded Dave Show, the Amino Acids or The Dirty Show… (But then, you could also just read the print article next week). Happy (early) Halloween.