I dug out the video and made a clip of the relevant section. The video was called The American Dream II; it was a promo piece for DW from 1997. This clip has cameos by Neil Peart, Mick Fleetwood, and a couple other drummers.

John Good: When selecting shells, it’s really important — of course — to listen to the note of the shell. But you have to bear in mind the intervalic relationship between the shells to create one instrument.

For example this 12 inch shell right here has this note. This 14” shell right here has the same note. This is the 14 inch shell that should have gone with that 12. Now we’re creating an intervalic relationship. And that’s what Timbre Matching is all about.

What does this all mean to a drummer. How can he access what I’m trying to do with these shells? The way he accesses what we intended the shells to do is by looking inside the drum and seeing that the note of the shell has been stamped on the inside. Now this is your reference point for tuning. Then you’re going to have the best vibration and the best sweet spot a drum can deliver.

If you decide that you hear that drum lower than the note that’s stamped in it, then by all means tune it lower. But now you’re thinking about the note in the shell.

Scott Crago: The idea of putting your fingers on a drum and tapping it and hearing a note, and going down to the next size and making it chromatically in a third, and tapping that. It made so much sense to me. Why didn’t anybody think of this before?

Neil Peart: And I also found myself very much in synch with John Good’s thinking about a shell itself having a note that it wants to produce. And when he taps the shell and stamps the inside of that shell with a note, I too believe that the best thing you can do is try to tune the heads on that drum to that same fundamental note and you’re going to get the maximum amount of resonance and tone from that drum. So I got hold of a set of DW drums and used them through the preproduction process and then into the recording of the Test for Echo album, and was very much pleased with how they worked in the studio, and the tonality and resonance that they have, and the sympathetic relationship among the different pitches that John Good carefully chooses.

Randy Guss: The whole idea of timbre matching to me sounds like science fiction, almost, that someone’s sitting out there — I’ve seen him do it. I’ve seen John Good out there, knocking on wood and listening and things like that. What you know you’re going to get is a personalized kit that’s cohesive, that’s going to fit together. And you know that the guy with the ears at this company is going to be putting that kit together for you. They do it for me, they do it for Mick Fleetwood, they do it for anyone who buys a DW kit.

John Good: When we’re Timbre Matching shells, not only am I looking for the specific sound of the drum — yes, that’s the most important thing, to create an intervalic relationship for the whole drum set. But I’m also looking at the wood tones, the color tones, the grain patterns. There’s a lot involved to create a kit that really looks like it wanted to be one drum set.

Mick Fleetwood: You can tell, every time I’ve been here, they’re aware that this is a piece that’s going from here, and there’s a real sense of pride, and a sense of family in what goes on here. It’s not just punched out, and I think by way of saying that that it’s a real, in the sense of the word of what a real instrument is. It’s special. And every kit that’s here has its own character, and people have built that up. When a kit leaves here, it is being put together because those drums are supposed to be together.

But the mic is cursed by its size. It measures over 6'' long, and it needs to be pointed directly at whatever it’s supposed to hear. For a snare drum application this means the butt end is sticking up 6'' in the air — plus a couple more inches for the XLR jack of the mic cable — and it can be difficult to sandwich that into a tight drum kit setup.

I recently saw two solutions to this problem.

The low-tech approach is described in this Musformation.com story: The Bent Shure SM57 Trick. Duct tape plus a ‘57… if McGuyver were an engineer, this would be his microphone. It will mike your snare drum, and afterwards can also somehow be used to blow the hinges off the studio bathroom door when the bassist passes out in the stall.

The slicker solution is a new product from Granelli Audio Labs. Founders Tony Correlli and John Grant have come up with a precision-machined 90° elbow that screws into an SM57 between the capsule end and the XLR end. They bill their G5790 as “The mic you’ve always loved — with the mod you’ve always needed.”

I love the idea of it, so I got in touch to ask about the backstory. Tony and John were gracious enough to send me the full history. Read on for the Birth of the Side-Address SM57!

Tony Correlli

John and I came up with the idea of a side-address SM57 while talking shop over the phone late one night a little over a year ago. Because the SM57 conveniently unscrews a couple of inches back from the capsule, John went out and found a PVC plumbing elbow at Home Depot, and had a friend fit it into an SM57. We miked up a snare and it sounded good against the stock 57, while being much easier to position. This was really a labor of love from two engineer/producer/musician guys who just wanted to make better records and make our workday more enjoyable.

Once we started using this first, kluged prototype on sessions we noticed that most of the drummers and fellow engineers who saw it wanted one. We then began searching for a way to make the part more solid, to keep the SM57 the tough workhorse that it is. After trying to cut and weld steel pipe with less-than-ideal results, we checked out a machine shop that said they could mill it out of a solid piece of aluminum to any specifications.

At the same time we were studying the original patent drawings for the SM57 and learning about the acoustic chamber within the handle of the mic. We already knew that opening the back of the mic changed the sound, so something was going on there that we needed to pay attention to.

We worked closely with a talented machinist to come up with a design that would seamlessly fit and would have some solid areas to keep the inside of the mic from growing too large. This produced the first metal prototype, and this is where the serious testing began. I clamped an SM57 down onto a board, fastened at a fixed distance from a studio monitor. Feeding the mic white noise, I tested the same mic without our prototype, with our prototype, with the internal chamber stuffed with material, and with the back of the mic unscrewed and hanging down.

What we found was that our first prototype changed the frequency response up to 3dB at several frequencies compared to the factory version of the mic. It was then that we began to do all the math to determine the volume of the mic’s internal chamber with and without the part. With our prototype, the volume had nearly doubled, and figured this must be the reason for the frequency-response change.

One nagging concern remained — what if the sound is in the shape, not the volume? To test our air-volume hypothesis, we inserted a carefully measured piece of material that filled the excess space. When we ran the test again, we found that the curve was a closer match.

Knowing what we needed to do to make the part work, we had the machinist extend the male end of the piece to completely fill the mic’s chamber, and to reduce the size of the wiring passageway. After deducting the volume added by the wires and heat-shrink tubing, the volume of the mic fitted with the 2nd prototype would be the same as a factory SM57.

It was time for a test to determine if we had completely preserved the sonics of the SM57. Reproducing the first experiment, we mounted a mic, tested it unmodified, modified with our new part in, then with the 1st prototype with and without the added material, and even the PVC piece. I also tried another stock SM57 that was purchased at the same time.

What we found was that our 2nd prototype gave us identical results, sonically, to the stock 57. The slight variations were about as close as the frequency response of one factory SM57 compared with another. The previous prototype still had variations, especially without the material, and the original PVC version had the largest discrepancies, but the 2nd machined aluminum version was right on.

About this time we had a patent attorney file our application for a utility patent. We are currently in patent pending status. We also sent the mic to be independently tested by Arthur Sloatman of Midget Electronics in Nashville. He also concluded that the frequency responses were a match by testing an SM57 with and without the modification.

Make prototypes, listen to the results, and confirm them independently… that’s the way these things are supposed to go. Nice work, John and Tony.

I asked them about a DIY version, because it seems like it would be a pretty easy mod to do to existing mics. By way of comparison, recall that TAB-Funkenwerk produces an upgraded output transformer for the SM57. Replacing a transformer requires cutting the wires from the capsule, boiling the bottom half of the SM57 to soften the glue that holds the original transformer inside, and then wiring the new unit in place. I know engineers who have done this, so it’s not inconceivable to me that some engineers would be up for a DIY installation of the Granelli 90° insert too.

It is possible, if demand merits, that the part will be available for purchase alone. However, Granelli Audio Labs guarantees the quality of our G5790s, and we will continue to do this with professional technicians and appropriate testing and quality control. Since this modification requires extending the microphone’s internal wiring and sealing the connection with a thread-locker to keep it from coming loose when rotated, we do not feel that offering a do-it-yourself kit would be a good idea at this point.

Also, we feel that everyone could always use another SM57, so keep what you have in one piece and buy some nice new ones from us that are ready to go, with a 2-year warranty.

We also learned in the process of testing that new SM57s are hotter than ones that are a few years old. So when you look at your used SM57, ask yourself “Does this still sound like it did the day we met, or have the years of abuse taken a toll?”

There you have it — if like Steve Albini you have SM57s getting dusty already, and you don’t want to buy a new one that pushes the straight models even further back into the recesses of the mic cabinet, let John and Tony know. Maybe if they get enough requests, they’ll release the standalone part.

On the other hand, if you’re in the market for a new snare-drum mic and have been considering an SM57, do yourself a great big favor and buy the G5790 instead.

The most correct, if not particularly useful answer was “buried somewhere on my to-do list.” I mean, there’s been a search feature in the mic database forever, but there was no way to search by name.

Until tonight. Beginning about 15 minutes ago, the db can be easily searched by mic name/model number or manufacturer name.

Better still, these criteria work in combination with the rest of the form. So if you want all the transformer-coupled MXL mics, you can list those. If you want Beyerdynamic’s hypercardioid dynamics, you can do that too. If you want to see BLUE’s multipattern large-diaphragm condensers, you can’t do that, because there is a bug in the code. Hmph. Well, it’s the Kiwi and the Cactus, so don’t try that search. [Update: this works now.]

Also if you put in two search terms, like “Shure SM57,” you probably won’t like the results. Damn.

Otherwise, this is the easiest way to jump to a specific mic. Just type the name and hit your keyboard’s Return key, and if we’ve got it in the database we’ll show it to you.

This feature will get a little smarter soon.

I had the sense that Coulton is recording all his own stuff, but I wanted to know how deep his DIY ethic goes. Ironically, to get an answer I first had to ask his publicist.

But my instincts were correct. On the new track, Coulton plays every instrument but the drums. He tracked everything himself in a small home studio, and mixed the song himself — on headphones. Don’t the guys at Tape Op have a trophy for this kind of effort?

The result is a lot of fun. Listen to the song here: Blue Sunny Day. Coulton’s intro to the song on this live performance is great too. (And he has the best audience ever.)

There are a number of interesting biographies for Coulton floating around, so rather than attempt to come up with another I’ll just point you here or here. Also don’t miss his duet with Ze Frank.

And now for the interview:

Describe your home studio. Has it changed much since you started out? What sort of upgrades has your success financed?

JC: Not that much — I’m not a huge gear head, and the working theory is that my ears are generally not good enough to warrant spending tons of money on “the best” stuff.

When I started doing the music thing full time I had already used day job money to build up a pretty decent collection of gear. At that point I had a Digi002 and Pro Tools LE running on an Intel Mac Mini. I had an AT4040 and an SM57, a dbx 376 tube channel strip that just about everything goes through on the way in, and a Pod Pro for guitar sounds.

Somewhere along the way I straightened out the bass situation in a very cheap way, bought the cheapest Fender bass they had in the store one day and a super cheap Behringer V-Amp bass amp modeler. I used whatever plugins I had free with Pro Tools for a long time (and still do) but I’ve picked up a Lexicon MX200 since then. I bought a Nord Stage Compact [keyboard] pretty recently. And then there’s the ever-growing whole bunch of guitars and other plucky instruments, the standard array of shakers, noise makers, toys, etc.

What lessons have you learned about mixing? Are you doing mixes “in the box” or are you doing some analog compression and summing via outboard gear?

JC: I do everything on the computer, and I usually mix with headphones — I know you’re not supposed to, but the fact that my studio is right next to the kids’ room means that I don’t have a choice much of the time. Now I’ve gotten used to it, and I just check periodically through speakers to make sure I’m not doing something stupid.

Mixing is hard. I’m never really 100% satisfied with a mix, and I really make everything up as I go along. I do pretty standard stuff — double tracking guitars hard panned left and right, backup vocals spread out and doubled. Mostly the trick is to stay out of your own way, don’t gum everything up with too much stuff. Often I find that if the arrangement is right, very little mixing actually needs to be done. There’s something really great about just hearing vocals and guitar together; the rest is just gravy.

For songs like Blue Sunny Day that are arranged for a full band, what tracks do you perform, and where do the rest come from?

JC: Drums are very often from a collection of loops called Reel Drums — you get multi-track Pro Tools sessions that are tempo mapped and copy and paste really nicely, so you can really mess with the sound and the arrangement. They just sound great because they’re actual drums, I’ve never been able to get any MIDI situation to sound like anything other than MIDI.

In a few cases I’ll grab a loop from Soundtrack or Ableton Live and just live with the fact that I won’t have a complicated drum track for that song. Limitations like often turn out to be good things, sort of creativity by necessity. The rest of it is me — any guitar you hear for sure, keyboards, accordion, banjo, mandolin, uke, that’s all me. I find that most of the time I can get away with the fact that I’m not really an expert player of any of these things. A little bit of banjo (poorly played) can go a long way.

Your website has been pretty sluggish since your blog post on the economics of selling original songs via the honor system, so I’m guessing you’ve exceeded the initial $200 in revenues reported on the March 24th. What’s the score now? Or, what’s the value of a server meltdown wrought by social media?

JC: For Blue Sunny Day, still not very much — about $400 maybe? But again, I don’t think of each song in terms of how much money it’s going to make; that way lies madness. I’ll just keep putting stuff out and hope that the big picture will ultimately make sense financially. The thing is, it’s impossible to measure the indirect income from that song, how many people were pushed over the edge into buying other things by that song, how many vampire fans have seen the YouTube videos of me doing that song live and become fans, etc.

If (when) a record label approaches you, would you be interested in the distribution they can provide, or do you figure you’re better off as an independent artist making full use of the internet as a free distribution network?

JC: I’m trying an experiment with my new concert DVD/CD “BEST. CONCERT. EVER.” and distributing it through a company called What Are Records. They’ve been great so far, and while my cut is going to be a little smaller than it would be if I were doing it myself, I don’t have to keep boxes and boxes of those things around. And the theory is that they’ll be able to get me into more places than I would get to myself, like maybe old fashioned brick and mortar retail (I know! That’s still around apparently!). We’ll see how it goes — I’m not opposed to the idea of labels on general principles or anything. It just makes sense that after a certain point, handling everything on your own becomes burdensome enough that it’s worth a certain amount of money to have someone else do it. And that line gets drawn differently for everyone. It’s always just a question of any given deal bringing you enough value to offset what it costs you in money.

I see a lot of non-artists smugly suggest that artists should be giving away recorded music for free and monetizing their work through concerts and T-shirt sales. For my part, if I wrote a great song I’d sort of like to reserve the right to be paid for it. What do you think?

JC: That may not be up to you. I’m not entirely sure that the future of music is free, but it certainly is trending in that direction. I think whatever your opinion about how consumers SHOULD treat music, you sort of have to live with how they DO treat it. And right now that means lots of people getting music for free, some of them paying for it, and if you’re lucky, some fans giving you money through other channels.

Such a large percentage of us download music for free illegally, there’s no way any rational person can look at that behavior and say that we’re all criminals. Something fundamental has changed and we just need to ride it out, figure out how to make it work without fighting against the tide all the time. Whatever happens, music is important enough to all of us that there’s no way it’s going to disappear — maybe there won’t be any rich and famous rock stars in the future, but there will always be music.

Do you have any recording challenges you’re looking for solutions to?

JC: Drums are a constant battle — I’ve exhausted the Reel Drums collection, and I haven’t found another one that really sounds as good or is as flexible. And mostly they’re all “rock” beats, which, if you have one, you have them all. I’d love to find another library with lots of groove options, or else now that I’ve moved to a new home, maybe buy my own drum set and see if I can remember how to play it, learn to mic it, etc. A whole new adventure…

We wish Jonathan good luck on that adventure. but feel compelled to point out that we only ever suggest buying drums, with a goal of learning to play and record them at home, to people we’re really mad at. But hey, one man’s adventure is… I don’t know, another man’s justification for sticking a wet thumb into an electrical socket? Anyway, the new CD/DVD set came out on May 15: Best. Concert. Ever. If it’s half as fun as JoCo’s other material, it will be awesome.

Vampire image credit: Jawboneradio.

But a look at his arrangement and production credits told me I knew his music — Aretha Franklin, Earth Wind & Fire, Michael Jackson, The Temptations? A pretty serious chunk of American music history is listed in Wright’s discography.

Still, I needed to know what would inspire MXL to create a one-off vocal mic for a guy. Because, you know, maybe they’d make one for me, too. It wouldn’t even need to be gold.

Alas, I lack Mr. Wright’s 30-year history in symphony halls and recording studios making amazing music and gold records. His recordings have earned a couple more Grammys than mine, too.

I had a chance to speak with Mr. Wright about the Gold 35 and the rest of the MXL product line. He’s a real fan of their gear, as you’ll see. This surprised me at first because — let’s face it — no matter how many times a less-expensive mic wins the gig, it’s hard not to believe the hype of the high-dollar microphone. We all know that ultimately what sounds best has little relation to price, reputation, or celebrity endorsements… but that somehow doesn’t temper my lust for vintage Neumanns or even contemporary Bocks or any number of other mics that beckon to me with their platinum-coated pedigrees.

I should put this on a T-shirt:

Joel Hamilton

When you use your gut and heart to choose a microphone, and not your eyes or your wallet or your insecurity, amazing things can happen.

I thought this would be an interview, but it turned out more like a testimony. Here’s Benjamin Wright, Jr., on MXL microphones:

We were in Alabama to do a symphony gig. The engineer and the system engineer and I walked in together, getting ready for the rehearsal, and they had like 15 silver MXL microphones and 20 black MXL microphones. At that particular time my thought about MXL mics was, those are the mics that Guitar Center is giving away.

But it was late; there was no way to change anything. So we mic’d everything with the MXLs. Upon completion, we began to play it back, and it was like, damn, it’s good! We were wiped out.

I was so wiped out that as soon as I got back to LA I bought six of those microphones. That was the MXL 2001.

Later they made the V69. Reggie Dozier (the brother of Lamont Dozier) and I were doing a live gig, a big orchestra situation. “Let’s just try this thing.” Reggie plugged it in, said a few words. Whoa, damn. What is this?

Well, the mic was so hot, so warm, it was unbelievable. We didn’t use it that day, but we decided that it would be great with strings. Lo and behold, I did a fixed string date, I brought my own microphones. At this time I had 12 V69s. Well, the studio didn’t really know me, but I said, “would you be opposed to trying these microphones?”

They were a bit apprehensive, but the guy said, “yeah, we’ll listen to it…”

They put up their microphones, and the V69. They had a tube 87, a 414, and then mine. A, B, C. My mic was C. C was much hotter and warmer. Then B, nice. C, C kicked ass again. I’m just smiling. We wiped them out.

Then everybody wanted to be my friend. Nobody was actually carrying the mics at the time, just a couple of stores. They had a relationship with me. All of my friends, everybody who came to the studio wanted V69s.

For the high strings, it was unbelievable. Violins and violas, I’ll take the V69 any day.

I thought, if it’s this good, they have to have something for low strings. We usually use KM-84s. I called MXL and said, “what do you have for my cellos and contrabasses?”

Phil [of MXL] came over, brought me eight 604s. Wiped the KMs off the map. I’ll not do another date and not use 604s. So, I’m going broke buying MXLs.

I did a big-band horn date in my studio. Let me call MXL and see what they have… V6s. Used them on saxophones, trombones. I’m happy.

Now I have a lot of classic microphones myself — three 87s, two 47s, 1 67, I bought ‘em back in the day. I spent a ton of money. They’re all on the shelf.

I’m doing the Temptations, they’re talking smack: “I want an 87 on my voice”. Everybody loves the 87. So I said, “I got something you guys should check out.” I put up an 87 and this big brand-new gold mic.

The gold mic, to use Reggie Dozier’s words, kicked the 87’s ass. Night and day! What the hell are they doing with these microphones?

I’ve done at least 4 projects using that microphone. I don’t want it to leave the studio.

I have not used it on instruments, just vocals. I’m satisfied with the old V69s for my violins and violas. I’m extremely happy with my 604s as “KM killers” on low strings. And I’m very happy with V6s for the brass stuff. I’ve turned into MXL Man! Really.

Contact Ben Wright at Ritesonian Recording Studio.

(Vendors, if your sale/rebate/promotion isn’t listed, get in touch.)

Theoretically, the remodel left me with a dedicated home studio space. But in fact this studio-to-be is currently a small untreated room that sounds bad. For now.

So, I set up the large living room (with its 16' cathedral ceiling) for a quick overhead-mic shootout.

What, how else would I spend my Saturday?

I tracked a drum groove seven times, using seven different pairs of OH mics. I exported clips from the DAW and listened intensely. For hours. Repeatedly. Switching between two pairs of headphones on two different amps, and some cosmetically challenged monitors I didn’t have to pay for.

But the test was B-grade at best. I’d recorded the pairs individually rather than all at once, and I couldn’t get around the fact that the performance differences were probably more significant than the difference in the mics.

Meaning, maybe the reason the snare really jammed in that one clip is because I was playing it harder.

But I pressed on, listening and writing, editing the clips and the article too. Surely my results still had some validity, no?

Ultimately, I decided, no. I got to thinking about something Seth Godin wrote a couple weeks ago:

I had, as I do every year, a fools post written and queued up… It was good, not great.

So I posted nothing.

I couldn’t exceed my (or your) expectations, so I posted nothing.

I am really eager to give these mics a proper test, especially the 3-Zigma CHI mics. I’ll tip my hand and say they sound great. I should have a proper test up here soon.

Nashville’s historic Music Row has been home to hundreds of recording studios, publishing companies, and record labels for many decades. As the business of music continually changes, many business have come and gone. The current economy has placed a greater strain on these businesses as recording budgets are canceled or slashed in half; this recent drastic downturn in the overall economy is a real stomach-churner for businesses in an industry that’s already seen a decade-long decline.

Profits are always nice when you have a business. In this climate, breaking even becomes the fall-back goal. As the budgets have gotten tighter, opportunities for musicians and studios have dropped significantly. Legendary union session players are taking gigs knocking out demonstration recordings, which are usually taken by the younger, up-and-coming players. Legendary studios are negotiating rates that reflect their own break-even points. Any slim profits are quickly reinvested into the studio in the form of software upgrades, gear, and acoustic improvements.

Where is the bottom end? This question can be asked in a financial institution or while listening to mixes in a control room. The economic question can’t be answered with an EQ adjustment; there is no question that we are in the valley between the peaks as our bread-and-butter sessions are downsized or indefinitely postponed. Despite this, there are many folks in Nashville’s recording community that have the audacity to be optimistic.

My own experiences started over a decade ago in Los Angeles, working for Westlake Audio, a major recording studio in Hollywood. I was absorbed into the intricacies of maintaining a multi-room facility that consistently had major recording stars in and out of it’s doors. I now manage a smaller studio, Vibe 56, which is located in the heart of Nashville’s music row. I’ve gone from big to small, analog to digital, fully staffed to being the staff. I’ve never worn as many hats as I currently do, but I’ve also never felt so alive and fortunate to be fully engaged in facilitating music that deserves to be heard.

I’ve often thought of the entire Nashville recording community as a huge mall. It’s the Music City Mall of America. We have several major anchor stores thanks to huge awe-inspring studios such as Blackbird, OmniSound, Sound Emporium, Starstruck, East Iris, Sound Kitchen, Dark Horse, Oceanway, Quad… this could become quite a list. All of these facilities are important to the survival of the entirety of the Nashville recording community. These studios (and several more) are the anchor stores of my mall analogy, and all of the other stores in the mall would prefer that these landmarks stay right where they are. If these legendary studios are no longer a part of the music community, is there a music community to be a part of?

Lots of folks in the music business have gravitated towards Nashville for lots of good reasons. The level of musicianship is astounding. This is Music City, after all. While Nashville is rightfully associated with country music, there has been an explosion of acoustic music and vintage-sounding rock. Serious bands and artists are making timeless music here. I’m proud of what Nashville has been, and I’m excited to see where it’s headed. It’s just the present that needs to be dealt with.

In response to the current economic situation, most studios have had to severely pull back on planned upgrades and long-term investments such as new gear. Survival mode has kicked in and some studios are being voted off the island by pretending it’s business as usual. Times such as these have completely reset the ability to take anything for granted — every tracking session, every overdub session, every mix session counts. The recording business is a business of service. If the studio I manage were a gas station, I’d be out there pumping gas, washing windshields and checking your oil. We’re trying to maintain our A-game in a D-minus economy.

“How’s it going?” has been replaced by “How’s business?” as the most popular conversation starter. Everyone wants to know if it’s as bad for the other guy as it has been for them. The discussion then quickly turns to what lies ahead, and for the most part, it’s getting better. It’s more than just optimism, it’s the reality of the natural ebb and flow of any industry. This current ebb just has more flow to it. But things are looking up in an industry where it supposedly all begins with a song, which is the real bottom line.

CJ Sorg is a musician and songwriter from Nashville, TN, where he manages Vibe56 Studio. Find him on twitter as @cjsorg.

The driver was gone by the time I got upstairs. He’d left behind a big squashed box on the front porch. Inside were the remains of a pair of Mackie HR824s.

Had I been there in time, I would have refused delivery. I did this once before, years ago, when a heavy uninterruptible power supply — 50+ lbs on its own little wooden pallet — arrived looking like it had been dragged to my house from the UPS depot. Sending it away with the driver was a remarkably clean and efficient end to a mail-order transaction gone wrong.

Two corners of the speaker box had split open. Styrofoam peanuts spilled out of the wounds. When I picked up the box, the speakers nearly fell through the bottom.

I shot photos, knowing I had a dispute ahead of me. But, hoping for the best, I unpacked the monitors. It made me sad.

They were wrapped in two layers of bubble wrap, then set loose inside this big box. On top of their power cords. I guess it’s possible there was more packing material inside originally, now littered between here and the shipping center in Georgia.

The bubble wrap had been squished flat, having sacrificed itself to protect its contents at some point along the torturous journey to my home. Unfortunately for everybody involved, this appears to have happened long before the monitors arrived here; I think some of the damage was caused in the final delivery. Speaking of which, I should go see if there are any split floorboards on the porch.

The first monitor I unpacked had one mashed corner. It was a cosmetic flaw, and had that been the extent of the damage I might have decided to live with it.

The second monitor fared less well — two mashed corners, a split across the bottom of the speaker case, and an assortment of gouges around the case. It was a relief, in a sense, because it erased any question of whether I’d be keeping the compromised gear. I’d paid for monitors in good condition; these didn’t qualify.

There are two ways to dispute Ebay sales gone sour. One is via UPS, and the other is via PayPal. I actually did both, but it’s probably easier to work through PayPal because they can more easily issue refunds to the buyer. UPS will only ever reimburse the shipper.

In my case, I got a refund from the seller pretty quickly. I’m grateful for that.

And now I’m back on the hunt for HR824s. Do me a favor and don’t bid on any for the next week, eh?

Every mic submitted this way will get priority treatment. So, if you’re wishing your favorite mic was included in the RecordingHacks Mic Database, grab this form, fill it out, and send it to me (see the Contact page).

Depending how this goes, some special prizes might await folks who help out…