Cicero

People in recovery will know that abstinence from addictive substances is only the beginning of recovery. The writings of the various 12-Step Fellowships is full of spiritually sound ideas and goals.

These Six Mistakes of Man are, to me, similar in principle to the Serenity Prayer and the Prayer of St Francis of Assisi.

Marcus Cicero was a prominent philosopher who was born in 106 BC. He was a statesman, poet, orator and a philosopher all combined into one.

I think he had a tendency to hit the nail on the head with his philosophical writings. Here are what he thought were “The six mistakes of Man”:

1. The delusion that personal gain (emotional, sexual or financial) is made by crushing others.
2. The tendency to worry about things that cannot be changed or corrected.
3. Insisting that a thing is impossible because we cannot do it ourselves.
4. Refusing to set aside trivial preferences or prejudices.
5. Neglecting development and refinement of the mind, and not acquiring the habit of reading and studying.
6. Attempting to compel others to believe and live as we do

• See also
• 12 Rewards of Recovery
• Inspirational Books
• Acceptance and Surrender
• Spirituality Books
• One Day at a Time Slogan

Health impacts of long term alcohol misuse

Long term abuse of alcohol creates medical risks to individuals and may contribute to many cases of illness and premature death. On death certificates ‘alcohol-related’ is often not stated.

Long term health impacts of alcohol misuse

• Liver disorders:

• hepatitis,
• cirrhosis of the liver,
• cancer of the liver (most alcohol specific fatalities recorded result from chronic liver disease and cirrhosis i)

• pancreatitis;
• cancer of the oesophagus;
• digestive problems;
• gastritis

• weakness;
• burning sensations in hands/feet;
• paralysis

• high blood pressure (hypertension),
• stroke

• the voice box [larynx]),
• the throat (treble the risk) and
• the gullet (double the risk) as well as
• the oesophagus, and
• breast cancer.
• In total, around 3% of cancers are attributable to alcohol.

• impotence and infertility (in men);
• disruption of menstrual cycle (in women)

• obesity;
• weight loss through under-eating;
• disrupted metabolism

• fractured ribs,
• pneumonia;
• low blood sugar

• suicide (30% alcohol-linked);
• depression;
• psychiatric disorders (30% of alcohol- dependents)

Alcohol is Associated with other Medical Issues

Whilst heavy drinkers have been found to visit their GPs twice as often as light drinkers consumption of alcohol with medications can produce adverse side effects and can diminish or exaggerate a drug’s effects.

Mental health can be affected by alcohol, and individuals with mental health problems may be more vulnerable to alcohol abuse.

Those who are depressed or suffering from anxiety are more likely to drink, and alcohol is likely to exacerbate feelings of depression.

A study of psychiatric patients found that 19% of male heavy drinkers and 30% of female heavy drinkers had a neurotic disorder.

Suicide is also strongly linked to alcohol, with around 65% of suicide attempts being associated with excessive alcohol consumption.

• See also
• Alcohol Related Brain Damage
• Choc Chip Cookies
• Chicken Soup for the Recovering Soul
• Women Drinkers have more Problems
• Diet & Health Books

Sexual compulsion may seem like a life locked in battle with self

Sexual Compulsives Anonymous is a 12 Step Fellowship of men and women who share their experience, strength and hope with each other, that they may solve their common problem and help others to recover from sexual compulsion.

These are the characteristics most of us seem to have in common:

• As adolescents, we used fantasy and compulsive masturbation to avoid feelings, and continued this tendency into our adult lives with compulsive sex.
• Compulsive sex became a drug, which we used to escape from feelings such as anxiety, loneliness, anger and self-hatred, as well as joy.
• We tended to become immobilized by romantic obsessions. We became addicted to the search for sex and love; as a result, we neglected our lives.
• We sought oblivion in fantasy and masturbation, and lost ourselves in compulsive sex. Sex became a reward, punishment, distraction and time-killer.
• Because of our low self-esteem, we used sex to feel validated and complete.
• We tried to bring intensity and excitement into our lives through sex, but felt ourselves growing steadily emptier.
• Sex was compartmentalized instead of integrated into our lives as a healthy element.
• We became addicted to people, and were unable to distinguish among sex, love and affection.
• We searched for some “magical” quality in others to make us feel complete. Other people were idealized and endowed with a powerful symbolism, which often disappeared after we had sex with them.
• We were drawn to people who were not available to us, or who would reject or abuse us.
• We feared relationships, but continually searched for them. In a relationship, we feared abandonment and rejection, but out of one, we felt empty and incomplete.
• While constantly seeking intimacy with another person, we found that the desperate quality of our need made true intimacy with anyone impossible, and we often developed unhealthy dependency relationships that eventually became unbearable.
• Even when we got the love of another person, it never seemed enough, and we were unable to stop lusting after others.
• Trying to conceal our dependency demands, we grew more isolated from ourselves, from God, and from the very people we longed to be close to.

Admitting That We Are Powerless

If we decide that we have the disease of sexual compulsion, the first step toward recovery is to admit that we are powerless over our condition and that it makes our lives unmanageable.  When we can do so, we are ready to move on to the 12-step recovery program.  The only requirement for membership in SCA is a desire to stop our compulsive sexual behavior.

Full story at; Sexual Compulsive Anonymous

• See also
• Sex and Love Addicts Anonymous
• Say Yes to Your Sexual Healing
• S-Anon for partners and friends of sex addicts
• Emotional Sobriety
• Tools of Recovery

How Free Do You Want to Be?

Recovery Transforms Lives

If you are a woman who has found the courage to start down the road of recovery, know that you are never alone. Others have walked before you and have experienced recovery’s promises of radical change.

This book, written by the director of the Hazelden Women’s Recovery Center, explains how you, too, can live a life “beyond your wildest dreams.” Its pages are filled with expert advice, caring support, and personal stories of women who have found their way out of the mess of addiction.

Here you’ll read about

• the basics of addiction, the principles of the Twelve Step Fellowship program, and how to get started in recovery

• how addiction and recovery are different for women

• what “self-care” means physically, socially, emotionally, and spiritually

• recognizing and working with feelings in a mature way

• how recovery affects relationships, including those with your children

• how the promises of recovery can transform your life, inside and out

Glimpse the freedom that accompanies recovery. Learn how other women with similar struggles have built new, meaningful lives without alcohol or other mood-altering drugs.

Most important, grab the lifeline of hope offered in this book, the knowledge that recovery is possible.

Buy today » A Woman’s Guide to Recovery

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Hold on a minute

The rule of HALT is a reminder that can help us all along the road to recovery.

As adjuncts to the Alcoholics Anonymous spiritual program and meetings, there are clichés, systems, gimmicks, and a myriad of other tricks that have been used by AA members down through the years to maintain sobriety.

I, for one, strongly uphold the application of the foremost of these, the “RULE of HALT,” not only for the new members, but for the old-timer as well.

Further, this simple rule is too often ignored or passed over lightly. In the beginning, new members, as we all know, are usually confused and completely without direction. Some are sincere to the very bottom of their souls, while others are only lukewarm in their desire to “put the plug in the jug.” Both sorts look to the longer sober member for answers explaining how, and all too often they are disappointed. (This is understandable, for how many of us really know how AA Works?)

We have precious little to give our “babies” save encouragement, fellowship, and living proof that the program works–at least for us.

Why not, then, pass on whatever practical information and instruction we can to each newcomer to make his beginning more palatable and to enhance his chances of success should he choose to follow these instructions?

We are certain that most members of AA are aware of the Rule of “HALT,” but to what degree we cannot be certain. To scrutinize the rule briefly may be helpful to the reader and will certainly be so to the writer who has proved in reality that violation of it in part or in total can, and often does, lead to relapse. Here, then, is the meat of the rule

H

Don’t get too Hungry.

For a reason we cannot explain, there seems to be in the alcoholic a peculiar psycho physiological relationship between hunger and the urge to drink.

On some occasions, we would eat a big dinner and then find that it literally destroyed our desire to drink afterwards. Conversely, and eventually more often, we avoided eating because we knew it would interfere with our drinking.

Years ago, my sponsor told me that if I had a physical urge to take a drink, I should go out of my way to drink a milk shake. If that didn’t work, he said, I should drink another. And another. I can testify that if you can drink liquor on top of two or three milk shakes, you aren’t an alcoholic. You’re nuts!

And so, when you are hungry, eat. Simple and important. (This writer eats little at one time, but may eat something as many as five times a day.)

A

Don’t get too Angry.

Wow! Of all things to tell an alcoholic! But we don’t have to be on the program very long to realize that anger, righteous or not, is better left to those who can handle it.

Borrowing from Father John Doe: “Let the other guy get mad. If somebody calls me a SOB, either I am or I ain’t. If I am, So What? If I ain’t, why should I make myself one by getting mad about it?”

We can’t afford to get angry–especially at people. Kick the wall or the TV if you will, but “Let the other guy get mad!” We know too well where anger leads: to resentment. and brother, do we know what resentment brings!

Rule of thumb? Well as the young folks say in this age, “Cool it, baby. Cool it.”

L

Don’t get too Lonely.

Non-alcoholic members of the psychiatric profession tend to equate loneliness with boredom, and we are inclined to agree.

If there is any one thing that must be included in the alcoholic’s life before he can once again become a whole man it is worthwhile activity. This may be Twelfth Step work, his vocation, his avocation, or anything else. But we feel such activity must be present in order to fulfil his existence and eliminate loneliness.

We must also consider the loneliness brought about because the newcomer lives alone. But this is easily rectified. It takes only a phone call or a visit to an AA-oriented social club. Or, for the AA Loner, far other members, the Big Book or a letter to an AA pen pal may suffice. Under any conditions, Loneliness is the mother of self-pity and the ultimate end is resentment and drinking.

The rule of Thumb? Do something!

T

Don’t get too Tired.

In its effect, the last ingredient or direction in our rule is not too different from the first.

Physical fatigue will affect both our bodies and our minds adversely and will thereby lower our defenses against the urge to drink if there is any possibility at all of such a desire being present, consciously or subconsciously.

And there the rule of thumb is “When you are tired, put the body down!” (How many times have we read and said Easy Does It?)

So there it is: HALT–Hungry, Angry, Lonely, Tired. This rule, when coupled with meetings and living our day-by-day lives according to AA principles, will make things much easier, not only for the newcomer but for the old-timer as well.

Once we recognize that these four conditions are dangerous if succumbed to, we should avoid them as carefully as we would that first drink for any one of them could be the first step to a drunk.

And, don’t forget ‘It’s the first drink that gets us drunk.’

• See also
• 12 Stupid Things That Mess Up Recovery
• K.I.S.S. (Keep It Simple, Sweetheart)
• SPIRITUAL AWAKENING
• Alcoholics Anonymous – the Big Book – an Audible MP3 book
• The Habit of Procrastination

Predictors of 2-year drinking outcomes in a Swedish treatment sample.

BACKGROUND: Few studies have investigated predictors of short- and longer-term outcomes in relatively well functioning treatment samples.

METHODS: Multivariate logistic regression analyses were used to identify predictors of continuous abstinence in 188 individuals during their 2nd year after private 12-step treatment in Sweden, and findings are related to a previous report on 1-year outcomes.

RESULTS: Individual baseline characteristics were not directly related to 2nd year outcomes, while a higher 1st-year drinking severity decreased the likelihood of 2nd-year abstinence.

affiliation with Alcoholics Anonymous … increased the likelihood of 2nd-year abstinence

Satisfaction with treatment and affiliation with Alcoholics Anonymous, but not program aftercare during the 1st year increased the likelihood of 2nd-year abstinence.

CONCLUSION: Results are consistent with previous studies showing that shorter-term outcomes are likely to be maintained, and that baseline characteristics and treatment factors account less for outcomes over longer terms.

Research; Bodin MC, Romelsjö A. Predictors of 2-year drinking outcomes in a Swedish treatment sample. Eur Addict Res. 2007;13(3):136-43.

See also;

• Brief-TSF can assist patients cease alcohol consumption.

Codependents sometimes feel trapped behind frosted glass

Co-Victims of Alcoholism, some times called codependency

Many of us found that we had several characteristics in common as a result of being brought up in an alcoholic or other dysfunctional households.

We had come to feel isolated, and uneasy with other people, especially authority figures. To protect ourselves, we became people pleasers, even though we lost our own identities in the process. All the same we would mistake any personal criticism as a threat.

We either became alcoholics ourselves, married them, or both. Failing that, we found other compulsive personalities, such as a workaholic, to fulfil our sick need for abandonment.

We lived live from the standpoint of victims. Having an over developed sense of responsibility, we preferred to be concerned with others rather than ourselves. We got guilt feelings when we trusted ourselves, giving in to others. We became reactors rather than actors, letting others take the initiative.

We were dependent personalities, terrified of abandonment, willing to do almost anything to hold on to a relationship in order not to be abandoned emotionally. We keep choosing insecure relationships because they matched our childhood relationship with alcoholic or dysfunctional parents.

These symptoms of the family disease of alcoholism or other dysfunction made us ’co-victims’, those who take on the characteristics of the disease without necessarily ever taking a drink. We learned to keep our feelings down as children and keep them buried as adults. As a result of this conditioning, we often confused love with pity, tending to love those we could rescue.

Even more self-defeating, we became addicted to excitement in all our affairs, preferring constant upset to workable solutions.

This is a description, not an indictment.

• See also
• Adult Children of Alcoholic (ACOA)
• Al-anon / Alateen for family and friends of alcoholics
• An Adult Child’s Guide to What’s Normal
• The Complete ACOA Sourcebook
• ACOA’s have Strengths as well
• ACOAs – Vulnerable or Resilient?

Alcoholism is characterized by a preoccupation with alcohol and impaired control over alcohol intake. Alcoholism is a chronic, often progressive disease. Left untreated, alcoholism can be fatal.

You may continue to abuse alcohol despite serious adverse health, personal, work-related and financial consequences. Alcoholism usually involves physical dependence on alcohol, but genetic, psychological and social factors contribute to the addiction as well.

It’s possible to have a problem with alcohol, but not display all the characteristics of alcoholism. This is known as “alcohol abuse,” which means you engage in excessive drinking that causes health or social problems, but you aren’t dependent on alcohol and haven’t fully lost control over the use of alcohol.

Statistics

Alcohol abuse is practiced by about 30% of drinkers and alcoholism is suffered by about 9% of drinkers. Approximately 50% of alcohol produced is drunk by 10% of drinkers.

Treatment

Alcoholism and alcohol abuse cause major social, economic and public health problems. Various treatments are available, and self-help groups such as Alcoholics Anonymous can provide ongoing support for people recovering from alcoholism.

Signs and symptoms

Before treatment or recovery, most people with alcoholism deny that they have a drinking problem. Other indications of alcoholism and alcohol abuse include:

• Drinking alone or in secret
• Being unable to limit the amount of alcohol you drink
• Not remembering conversations or commitments, sometimes referred to as “blacking out”
• Making a ritual of having drinks before, with or after dinner and becoming annoyed when this ritual is disturbed or questioned
• Losing interest in activities and hobbies that used to bring pleasure
• Feeling a need or compulsion to drink
• Irritability when your usual drinking time nears, especially if alcohol isn’t available
• Keeping alcohol in unlikely places at home, at work or in the car
• Gulping drinks, ordering doubles, becoming intoxicated intentionally to feel good or drinking to feel “normal”
• Having legal problems or problems with relationships, employment or finances
• Building a tolerance to alcohol so that you need an increasing number of drinks to feel alcohol’s effects
• Experiencing physical withdrawal symptoms — such as nausea, sweating and shaking — if you don’t drink

People who abuse alcohol may experience many of the same signs and symptoms as people who are alcoholic. However, alcohol abusers don’t feel the same compulsion to drink and usually don’t experience physical withdrawal symptoms when they don’t drink. A dependence on alcohol also creates a tolerance to alcohol and the inability to control drinking.

If you’ve ever wondered if your own alcohol consumption crosses the line of abuse or dependence, ask yourself these questions:

• Do you need a drink as soon as you get up?
• Do you feel guilty about your drinking?
• Do you think you need to cut back on your alcohol consumption?
• Are you annoyed when other people comment on or criticize your drinking habits?
• Have you tried repeatedly to stop drinking and failed?

If you answered yes to two or more questions, it’s likely that you have a problem with alcohol. Even one yes answer may indicate a problem.

Factors that may contribute to alcoholism

These include:

• Genetics. Certain genetic factors may cause a person to be vulnerable to alcoholism or other addictions.
• Emotional state. High levels of stress, anxiety or emotional pain can lead some people to drink alcohol to block out the turmoil. Certain stress hormones may be associated with alcoholism.
• Psychological factors. Having low-self esteem or depression may make you more likely to abuse alcohol.
• Having friends or a close partner who drinks regularly — but who may not abuse alcohol — could promote excessive drinking on your part. It may be difficult for you to distance yourself from these “enablers” or at least from their drinking habits.
• Social and cultural factors. The glamorous way that drinking alcohol is portrayed in advertising and in the media may send the message that it’s OK to drink excessively.

Family and friends

Because denial is frequently a characteristic of alcoholism, it’s unlikely that people who are dependent will seek treatment on their own. Often it takes family members, friends or co-workers to persuade them to undergo screening for alcoholism or to seek treatment.

CAUTION; Suddenly stopping drinking for heavy drinkers without medical supervision can be fatal.

• See also
• 5 Alcoholism Myths
• 5 Alcoholism Subtypes
• Al-Anon Speak Part 1
• Disturbing Denial
• Worried About His Drinking?

Willingness is the key

The Higher Power Is Good

“Before Alcoholics Anonymous, I could not, or would not, admit I was wrong. My pride would not let me. And yet I was ashamed of me. Caught in this conflict, I banished the Higher Power from my life because I felt He asked me to adhere to a behavior pattern too high for a man of my human frailty.

Somehow, I believed that there could be no forgiveness of any failure, that he Higher Power required me to be all good. The moral of the story of the Prodigal Son eluded me.

“Since I thought trying was not enough, I stopped trying. That made me feel guilty. For a while, alcohol blotted out the guilt. Then alcohol became the greatest cause of my guilt. I had to be beaten to a pulp physically, mentally and emotionally, become bankrupt in all facets of my being, before I could give up my pride and admit defeat.

Unfortunately, admitting was not sufficient. My situation got worse until I had to surrender completely. From the depths of my hell, I called out, “Oh God, help,” and He led me to a place where I could find a way out of the maze and then sent me a group of people to lead the way.”

From; Came to Believe, 2004, pg.86, an Alcoholics Anonymous book.

• See also
• Twenty-Four Hours a Day Large Print
• SPIRITUAL AWAKENING
• Spirituality in Alcoholism Recovery
• The Little Red Book
• Recovery MP3 tracks for all 12-Step Fellowships

People in recovery may experience a sudden drop in their libido.

If your erotic life has gone from an all-out sexfest to a G-rated event, you are not alone. While chronic aversion to sex is a serious issue for both men and women, an occasional drop in your sex drive is perfectly normal.

According to a 1994 University of Chicago National Health and Social Life Survey, lack of interest in sex was the number one complaint of sexually active people of all ages. The reasons for a lowered sex drive can vary from person to person. But the following will help you sort out the sources that might be taking the X out of your sex.

• Stress

The work on your desk keeps piling up and your latest dot-com investment just took a nosedive. When stressful events take over, they suck the sexual energy right out of you.

• Illness

You won’t be feeling too sexy when your nose is running and the pile of Kleenex next to your bed keeps growing exponentially. Likewise, PMS may leave you temporarily uninterested in sex. But more serious illnesses such as hypothyroidism, diabetes, cancer, heart and lung disorders, and STI’s may also be responsible for the drop in your sex drive. If you suspect something more serious, make an appointment with your medical professional.

• Medication

Many prescription and over-the-counter drugs can decrease your sexual appetite. Well-documented sex drive crushers include antidepressants such as Prozac and Xanax but medication for hypertension, psychotropic drugs, sedatives, opiates and even birth control pills can lessen your interest in sex or make reaching orgasm difficult.

• Lifestyle

If you’ve recently married, ended a relationship, changed jobs or moved, you may be mentally and physically out of sorts. Lifestyle changes are yet another form of stress, and even if they are positive ones, they can sometimes adversely affect your sex life.

• Aging

While some studies have revealed that sexual responsiveness may get better with age, hormonal imbalances in perimenopausal and menopausal women lead to a diminished sex drive. Some women may experience an aversion to touch, and intercourse may be painful due to vaginal dryness caused by a drop in estrogen.

• Relationship Blues

Temporary disinterest in your partner is normal. But if you’re finding that the seesaw of sexual desire is grounded on the down side for an extended period of time, it could be tied to relationship issues. If there’s tension or unhappiness in your relationship, it will eventually show up in your sex life.

• Body Image

Learning to love your body is probably one of the greatest hurdles to developing a strong sense of sexuality. If you feel uncomfortable with your physical self, you may hide your body from your partner, which can lead to a slow down in sexual activity.

• Depression

If you are depressed, sex will not be at the top of your agenda. Everyone experiences a bad day or two, but if those weeks turn into months, your depressed state will put your sexual interest on hold.

• New Baby

In addition to a new small person demanding your constant attention, lactation and postpartum depression (which occurs in about 10% of women) can contribute to a low libido. The lower estrogen level in lactating women is known not only to lower the sex drive, but can dry the vaginal walls, making intercourse painful.

• Drugs and Alcohol

Excessive consumption of drugs and/or alcohol may increase the quantity of your sexual encounters, but in the long run it can take its toll on your sex drive. Be aware if your drop in libido seems to correlate to an increase in alcohol or drug consumption.

If a lack of sexual interest is bringing you down, there are steps you can take to boost your sex drive.

• A healthy diet, the right amount of exercise and a daily dose of fresh air can help whet your sexual appetite.
• Allowing yourself to explore a new erotic desire or fantasy can spark newfound interest in sex.
• Talking about your sexual discontent with a trusted friend, your partner, an online support group or a good therapist can help you sort out some of the emotional or psychological issues that might be causing you grief.
• Sexual disinterest that stems from a physical problem, such as a hormone imbalance, or depression, may need to be treated with medication. Contact your healthcare provider for an exam and consultation.

Whatever the reason for your sex drive troubles, remember this: Low libido is a natural part of the human sexual response cycle — what goes up, must come down.

From Sexual Health

See also;

• HALT being Hungry, Angry, Lonely, Tired