tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-82346890809929876072026-07-27T13:29:14.984-07:00Schuhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14171222679283020909noreply@blogger.comBlogger307125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8234689080992987607.post-28809578813634634162015-03-19T04:35:00.001-07:002015-03-19T04:35:17.231-07:00In front of a sold out Gambucci Arena of 52 people the Red Army Franchise defeated the Buschwackers 4-1 to close out a glorious career of really bad hockey. The Army got goal from Lance Norman, Chad Swendseid, Mike Anderson and Steve Knipe. So the trivia answer is Steve Knipe. He scored the last goal for the Army. The Army had a full 3 lines. Terry Paukert, Perry Marto and Chad Hanson all suited up. Chad came from the Fargo area to play for the first time in 20-some years. STARS OF THE GAME: 5th Star- Mike Mckay- Never played a game for the Army, but sent a 30-pack of Busch Light for the Army's game. Good old Central Redskin that always wanted to play a game for the Army. 4th Star- The Pauk- The 60-something guy can still do it. He had the toe drag going hard. 3rd Star- Chad Hanson- Had to borrow equipment to play. Thought of only playing a few shifts but never skipped a shift. And only fell 4 or 5 times! 2nd Star- Kurt Comeau- If you were in the locker room you know why! 1st Star- The BOUCHER FAMILY- The Army is so glad that all you you were there. It was a very special night. We all miss Len. The Army hopes that night helped in healing. Lenny was one of a kind and was the RED ARMY. Thanks for being there!Schuhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14171222679283020909noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8234689080992987607.post-19499224389862103252015-03-18T05:00:00.001-07:002015-03-18T05:00:00.986-07:00The biggest game of the Red Army franchise begins at 7:00. Tonight's victim is the Buschwacker. The game is being played at the SOLD OUT Gambucci Arena. Standing room only seats will be on sale 1 hour before the game. Perry Marto, injured most of the year with a hangnail is expected to play tonight. Coach Terry Paukert will be in the lineup playing along side his old partner Todd Schumahcer. Paukert said, "How the hell did I draw the small straw. I quit so I didn't have to play with Schumacher." Sam Schumacher, son of Todd agreed. "My Dad sucks, I'm better than him." The biggest returner is Chad "Pucks-n-Sticks" Hanson. "I just hope I finish 2 shifts without hurting my self," said a reluctant Hanson. What other surprises will you see tonight. Many other former players and coaches are to be at tonight's game. The promotion tonight is if Matt "cupcake" Palmiscno scores, every fan will get a dozen cupcakes as they leave. GM Kevin Kyle said about tonight's game, "When did the army decide to fold. I have 6 new players ready to come in next year." There are still locker room passes available. Please bring your own barf bag! Much more tomorrow!Schuhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14171222679283020909noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8234689080992987607.post-39860893873156884332015-03-15T06:46:00.001-07:002015-03-15T06:46:56.446-07:00For immediate media release. The Red Army game on Wednesday vs the Buschwackers will be televised on ESPN 14. The game is at the Gambucci Arena at 7:00. Call you local cable and satellite provider to find out what channel it is on. Tickets for this mammoth tilt are going fast. Less than 100 remain. Call 1-800-REDARMY for best available. Special locker room tickets are available to visit with the team after the game. Just make sure you don't eat. Because when these guys take of their shirts, you will throw up!Schuhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14171222679283020909noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8234689080992987607.post-64183113229930433112015-03-12T04:46:00.001-07:002015-03-12T04:46:02.005-07:00The Red Army couldn't come away with a victory last night against Caulfield's 6-3. "It was a tough game to play in as Baron didn't have an official scheduled for the game," said Lance Norman (who actually showed up for the first time since January). Coach Terry Paukert said, "According to league bylaws, when an official isn't scheduled, the league president has to provide a 30-pack of Busch light to both teams!" The highlight of the night was, Cupcake Matt Palmiscno scored. Notching his first goal in 6 weeks. Also staying hot is Todd Schumacher. Schumacher scored for the second straight week. Schumacher said, "I'm just felling it right now. I think this hot streak will help me get a job in the announcing booth next to Scott Koberinski!" The Army takes on the Buschwackers night Wednesday at 7:00 at the Gambucci Arena. The Army invites all former players and the throngs of fans to come out a watch the Army in their swan song. There will be beverages!Schuhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14171222679283020909noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8234689080992987607.post-24753058349233524672015-03-11T04:56:00.001-07:002015-03-11T04:56:28.710-07:00The late night games continue again tonight. The Army has to play at 8:30 against Caulfield's at the Judd Arena. The Army has played past 8:00 the last month. "Paukert can barely stay awake during our games. He use to be 10:00 Puak, but as he has aged, he is 9:00 Pauk," said Perry Marto. The Pauk answered. "I think Baron is trying to wear us out before our finally next week when we play the Buschwackers?" With 2 games left in the Army career, we invite any former players to come and play. Our game next week will be a 7:00 most likely at the Gambucci Arena. Even if you don't want to play, come and have a beverage and BS with the current players.Schuhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14171222679283020909noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8234689080992987607.post-65663321988708981472015-03-05T04:30:00.001-08:002015-03-05T04:30:42.518-08:00The Red Army couldn't battle their way out of an early 3-1 hole after one period. Falling to Acme 6-3. The Army had it to 5-3 after 2. Todd Schumacher, yes Todd Schumacher, scored to make it 5-3 late in the second. It was Schumacher's first goal in two years. "I put it where mama keeps the cookies, the top shelf. Finally Steve Palmiscno put a pass on my stick," said Schumacher. Palmiscno added, "I have feed him like a baby for more than a year. it took about 100 passes for him to hit one solid. He does have a better shooting percentage than both Marto and Norman." The Army has 2 games left in their storied career. "If Schumacher hadn't scored this year, we would have made him play another," said Mike Anderson. Last game is March 18. Game time is most likely at 7:00. Not sure of the arena yet. Remember if you have played or coached for the Army please stop by and throw the pads on!Schuhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14171222679283020909noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8234689080992987607.post-13945445271649077972015-03-04T04:42:00.001-08:002015-03-04T04:42:58.691-08:00Huge game tonight when the Red Army takes on Acme at 8:15 at the GFBLC. The Army is finding a home at this place. Going 1-1 in the last 2 games there. With 3 weeks left in the season (and career) can the Army pick up one more win. "I think we have a good chance tonight," said coach Terry Paukert. "We bench cupcake Matt Palmiscno. We sent him on a bus with a bunch of high school students to toughen him up." Steve Palmiscno chimed in, "I would think a couple of freshman girls will beat the pulp out of him!" Bill Knipe has said that the appetizer have already been order for after the game. "That is a true MVP," said Kurt Comeau!Schuhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14171222679283020909noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8234689080992987607.post-28427040436910497112015-02-26T05:18:00.001-08:002015-02-26T05:18:44.136-08:00The Army winning streak is over. The Army was drubbed 10-6 by BBI. The Army got down 4-0 early in the second and fought back to 4-2 after 2. Then the real Army showed. Within a 6 minutes span, the Army was down 10-2. 4 goals in the last 3 minutes for the Army was as close as they could get. "We had a good second period and got the game close," said coach Terry Paukert. Paukert continued, "We are not good!" The only bright spot for the Army was the play of Bill Knipe. Knipe scored his first 2 goals of the season. The second one almost made SC top ten. "That was the old Bill, he dominated in the 3rd," said a proud brother Steve. Only 3 weeks remain for this storied franchise. The Red Army is calling out to all former players to come and Play on March 18. Please let myself or Todd Palmiscno know. Tim Lykken, Mark Lykken, Chad Hanson, Landis Stoltman, Please forward to any other former Army players!Schuhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14171222679283020909noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8234689080992987607.post-20563983814544311922015-02-25T05:10:00.001-08:002015-02-25T05:10:56.553-08:00Game time is still 8:15 at the GF Blue Line Club Arena against BBI. The Army is on a roll. With an actual win and a fake win. "To be on a winning streak this late in the season is awesome," said injured cupcake Perry Marto. " I can't believe that Marto is putting these wins in his record. He hasn't contributed at all this year. Norman has been a better teammate this year," said Shawn McMillan. The Army has 4 weeks to go in their glorious career. So get your tickets early. Call 1-800-REDARMY for a four game pack. One lucky fan will win an all access pass to the Army locker room. Of course it is after the game, so don't eat before you go in!Schuhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14171222679283020909noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8234689080992987607.post-36320425583856533332015-02-19T05:03:00.001-08:002015-02-19T05:03:53.861-08:00A scheduling snafu by Baron gave the Red Army its second win of the season. Baron changed the schedule and failed to let the Army know 48 hours before the game. According to league rules the Army wins and gets to record the stats. So the Army won 7-0. Steve Knipe was player of the game with 1 goal and 3 assist. Chad Swendseid had 2 goals and 2 assist. Bill Knipe, Kurt Comeau, Steve Palmiscno and Matt "Don Ho" Palmiscno all chipped in with a goal apiece. Unfortunately Todd Schumacher couldn't break his no-goal streak of almost two years in this forfeit win. "What can I say, Schumacher isn't that good," said Coach Terry Paukert. Bill Knipe was named second star of the game with his ability to order appetizers without his glasses on.Schuhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14171222679283020909noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8234689080992987607.post-87414324681369582622015-02-12T04:32:00.005-08:002015-02-12T04:32:46.768-08:00The streak is over. After 11 months of losing the Red Army finally won a game, 4-3 over Caulfield's. "I think we found a goalie that understands us and how we play. He finally made the first for save before we clear the puck," said Steve Palmiscno. Goaltender Talon Egeland did what he was coached to do. "I have been working with him for the last 3 weeks. I have brought him to every buffet to get his mind ready," said Steve Olson. "If Perry Marto and Matt Palmiscno are dressed tonight, we don't win," said Coach Terry Paukert. Paukert continued, "Those two may be the biggest cupcakes in the league. I'm not sure if they will get back into the lineup."Schuhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14171222679283020909noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8234689080992987607.post-62421722703645182342015-02-12T04:32:00.002-08:002015-02-12T04:32:19.004-08:00d Army wins 4-3. First time since last March 5. Kurt Comeau with 2 goals. Shawn McMillan and Steve Knipe with the other. Big assists from Todd Palmiscno and Todd Schumacher. More to come in the morning addition. Biggest Reason for win, NO PERRY MARTO!Schuhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14171222679283020909noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8234689080992987607.post-43890509119063030082015-02-10T14:44:00.000-08:002015-02-10T19:32:41.403-08:00The Red Army takes on Caulfields Wednesday night at 8:15 at the Grand Forks Blue Line Arena. The win-less Army is looking for their first victory in 11 months. With the late start this week, it doesn't look good. The Red Army was once a storied franchise in the Huff-n-Puff League. But age and a few pounds have caught up to them. Coach Terry Paukert said, "I retired at the right time, I got out when I was still in my prime. These jokers should have retired before me!" All Bill Knipe could say is, "He is probably right and where are we going after the game?" Lance Norman stated, "I haven't reached my prime. I need at least 10 more years." Shawn McMillan was going to say something, but puked after Norman's comment. Plenty of tickets remain for this mammoth tilt. Call 1-800-REDARMY for yours. Every seat is still available. Schuhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14171222679283020909noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8234689080992987607.post-70076357177588105612015-01-22T05:22:00.001-08:002015-01-22T05:22:35.941-08:00The Red Army struggled again last night in a 5-1 loss to Kelly's. The only bright spot was goaltender Talon Egeland. He made numerous big save to keep the game close through 2 periods. The other bright spot is that Todd Palmiscno and Todd Schumacher were not on the ice for any goals against. "This is our shut-down pair," said coach Terry Paukert. "Those two are still 2 of the toughest guys in the league." The biggest thing this pair did was control high flying Kelly's forward Erik Knutson. Knutson said, "those two were all over me. I couldn't get my speed game going. I did get a couple heavy shots, but their goalie was good." Oh by the way Wade Anderson scored for the Army.Schuhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14171222679283020909noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8234689080992987607.post-57531816725854502002015-01-21T04:29:00.001-08:002015-01-21T04:29:07.522-08:00The win-less Red Army faces off against Kelly's tonight at 7:00 at the Gambucci Arena. The Army had a shot at getting its first win last week against BBI. The Army was up 2-0 before falling 5-3. Coach Paukert said, "We just couldn't shut them down late in the game. We really missed Schumacher. He is OUR shut down defenseman!" Bill Kinpe quipped, "The only thing Schumacher could shut down is a buffet!" Plenty of tickets remain for tonight's game. Call 1-800-REDARMY for yours.Schuhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14171222679283020909noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8234689080992987607.post-7377045443949500272015-01-14T07:09:00.002-08:002015-01-14T07:09:59.775-08:00The Red Army takes on BBI tonight at 7:15 at the Judd Arena in the ICON hockey building. This reporter thinks that the Army has about as much chance of winning that the temperature today will get to 75. "We are old, slow, and OLD; not a good combination," said Todd Palmsicno. The game has PLENTY of tickets left. Buy one get 10 free is the promotion tonight. Hope to see you there!Schuhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14171222679283020909noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8234689080992987607.post-13966129560542700852015-01-08T05:05:00.001-08:002015-01-08T05:05:29.258-08:00The Red Army returned to action last night against Acme. A "big" surprise is the Army got beat 6-1. The Army did take the lead early in the first when Kurt Comeau put a shot where grandma keeps the cookies. That was the only highlight the Army had all night. "At least the beer was cold after the game," said Shawn McMillan. Coach Paukert had a close door meeting after the game. Rumor has it that his outburst of four letter words was worse than Mike Yeo of the Wild. "We had to have a little attitude adjustment. We will play better next time," said a disappointed Paukert. The Army will try to pick up there first win next week against BBI. Game time is at 7:15 at the ICON sports center. "At least we get to play in a nice rink," said Lance Norman.Schuhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14171222679283020909noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8234689080992987607.post-67331660451550195962014-12-03T07:30:00.001-08:002014-12-03T07:30:47.527-08:00The 0-4 Red Army takes on Caulfield's at 9:15 at the Eagles Arena. That is way too late for us old guys! Will We Score!! That is it!Schuhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14171222679283020909noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8234689080992987607.post-58590845188918041972014-11-27T09:29:00.001-08:002014-11-27T09:29:17.983-08:00That thud you heard last night wasn't Ol' Saint Nick and his Reindeer landing on your roof. It was the Red Army getting trounced 5-0 to the Buschwackers last night. It was a new low for the Army. In a season of lows. Getting shutout by their Arch Rivals. This is the beginning of the end for the Army. Not even Lance Norman's presence could get the Army one measly goal. Not even the absence of Perry Marto gave the Army a tally. Their will be a lot of sole searching this Thanksgiving for the Army, along with a lot of eating. "At least they will do what they do best, eat," said a disappointed coach Terry Paukert. "We have a lot of work to do just to win a game this year. Not sure if that will happen!" Even with going with almost 3 full lines, the Army just could wear down the in shape Wackers. Slick defenseman Keith Anderson said, "We are in much better shape and dominated the lowly Army."Schuhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14171222679283020909noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8234689080992987607.post-68421896989257234632014-11-26T04:41:00.001-08:002014-11-26T04:41:04.211-08:00Huge match-up tonight with The Red Army and the hated Buschwackers renewing their rivalry tonight at 6:45 at the Eagles Arena. These 2 storied franchises have loss a l of of luster in this showdown. The Army is 0-3, and well on their way to a 3-17 year. The Wackers aren't much better. Something has got to give. The Arena is sold out for what is being called the "Puke Bowl". "Anything can happen when these two teams get together," said Wacker Paul Endres. "Throw the records out the window when these two teams meet," said Army stalwart Len Boucher. (You can add your own clique in the comments if you would like) Both teams are looking forward to March when the season ends!Schuhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14171222679283020909noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8234689080992987607.post-90400458563082073652014-11-20T07:10:00.000-08:002014-11-20T07:10:00.466-08:00The Red Army is off to a dismal start this year. With the 8-2 loss last night by Kelly's the Army drops to 0-3 on the year. The Army has scored 6 goals (2 per game) while allowing 21 (7 per game). "We won't win a lot of games if we keep this pace up," said a disappointed Mike Anderson. "We have to bury our chances," said Lenny Boucher (who finally scored on the year). "I should have had four." The Army was without 4 players last night. Steve and Matt Palmiscno were at an Italian cooking class learning how to make Pesto. Lance Norman was absent for the 3rd straight game. "Where the hell is Norman," was chanted numerous time throughout the arena. Not even coach Terry Paukert had an answer for Norman's absence. "The guy is just a no-show. He doesn't call or check in. His fines are starting to pile up. If he isn't here next week, no one else will have to buy beer for the rest of the season. Norman will have it all," said a disgruntled Paukert. The other notable absence was Perry Marto. Marto is on a scouting mission to Europe. He is heavily recruiting in Switzerland and the Czech Republic for anyone stupid enough to play for the Army. Marto will be back in a couple of weeks and we will be able to see if his mission was successful. Next week may be the only chance for the Army to win. They take on the hated Buschwackers at 6:45 at the Eagles Arena. This may be the only team slower and older than the Army. The reporter thinks it is a tie. An anonymous league source was quoted "Both of these teams suck and need to find a different league to play in. The Dubai hockey league is looking for a couple of teams!" More next week!Schuhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14171222679283020909noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8234689080992987607.post-68134735052587786312014-11-16T06:44:00.001-08:002014-11-16T06:44:32.702-08:00The 0-2 Red Army faces off against Kelly's on Wednesday night. Game time is 7:15 at the Eagles Arena. The Army's 30 Anniversary season isn't going as planned. GM Kevin Kyle said, "We had the schedule tailor made for us to start 2-0, and we haven't preformed yet." Kyle continued, "It doesn't look good this week. Our practices haven't been good this week." "I have worked my tail off in practice," said Len Boucher. "Kyle needs to get out of his office and get to the rink to see what is happening." Boucher is the only player with a multi-year deal and was the only player willing to talk about Kyle on the record. Look for some line-up changes and juggling of lines for Wednesday's game. Doubt it will help, but the beer will still be cold!Schuhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14171222679283020909noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8234689080992987607.post-62869153882286805132014-11-13T04:48:00.001-08:002014-11-13T04:48:25.950-08:00The Red Army is off to a rough start. The Army was spanked 8-1 at the hands of Amce and coupled with last weeks loss to BBI (5-3), the Army is at 0-2 on the young season. Did anyone think anything would be different. Steve Olson, last night's goal scorer quipped, "Not sure if the 30th anniversary tour was a good idea." "We are the poster child for why old rock bands don't have reunion tours," said Perry Marto. The only bright spot was new goaltender Bobby Egeland. Even though he gave up 8, his save percentage was still at 92%. As of now, this reporter hopes March comes fast so this season comes to an end!Schuhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14171222679283020909noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8234689080992987607.post-31100561346321571212014-11-11T07:07:00.002-08:002014-11-11T07:07:51.819-08:00The Red Army takes on Acme tomorrow night at 9:00 at the EGF Blue Line Arena. The Army has always struggled in the "Ice Box". The small rink and even smaller locker rooms inhibit the Army's creativity. This is the Army's 30th season and possibly the last. In a closed door meeting a month ago, the Army had a heated debate on whether to don the Red Army sweaters again. But after a few cocktails and burgers the Army will march their way into another season. "If they go more that 30 years, this team will set back hockey as far back as the 1500's," said Coach Terry Paukert. More on the game coming on Thursday morning. Schuhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14171222679283020909noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8234689080992987607.post-20150602882030213702014-03-13T04:53:00.001-07:002014-03-13T04:53:51.176-07:00The Red Army was Drubbed last night 8-3 to Gerrell's. The Army played very uninspired hockey. "It looked like everyone was just trying to score and not play any defense," said coach Terry Paukert. The was proven by Matt Palmiscno being on the ice for 7 goals against. "Matt is a cupcake!" said father Steve Palmiscno. The capacity crowd of 4 was waiting to see if Todd Schumacher was going to keep his goal scoring streak. The 28 year streak is over. Schumacher failed to score after being constantly feed in the game. Schumacher has 15 shots on net and couldn't score. "I had my chances, but it just wasn't my year. I guess by not scoring, I have to play another year!" Perry Marto , who was injured carrying a tool belt yesterday and didn't play said, "It wasn't his year. How about it hasn't been his year for the last 12." Bill Knipe answered Marto, "Well at least he played tonight. Marto is a cupcake too! I wear a tool belt with pride and I don't get hurt!" Post season awards will be announced soon.Schuhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14171222679283020909noreply@blogger.com0