Red Nose

Tights Are Not Pants: Variety Edition

2013-05-19T16:16:30-04:00

I have been quite remiss in posting examples of my latest fashion headshake, to wit: Tights are not pants. So, rather than post them one at a time, here is one big ol' collection of them.

1. Shades of the 80s -- the big shirt over tights. Comfortable, yes; pants, no. Oh, and the woman behind her? Those are actually jeans. Extraordinarily tight jeans, but jeans nonetheless. Location: Minneapolis-St. Paul airport.

2. The paint splatter effect tights. Pants? No. At least she's got the gray/black thing going -- except for the backpack and boots. Location: SeaTac Airport.

3.The patterned tights. I think they are kind of cute, except for the wedgie effect. Put something over that, please! Location: Glenmont Metro.

4. A twofer! Again with the wedgie effect! It's not as obvious with the black tights, but trust me, it was definitely wedged. Also? NOT PANTS. Location: Gallery Place Metro.

5. It wouldn't be spring without some pink! I'm glad that the draped white top hides any wedge action, but still -- you know the drill -- not pants. Location: Glenmont Metro.

6. Finally, a guest entry from my BFF Judy's granddaughter. Are the faux-jeans pockets and stitching drawn on? Painted on? Are these pajama jeans? These may not, strictly speaking, be tights, but can they be called pants? Whatever they are, they are... unfortunate. Location: Atlanta.

Recent Bizspeak Aggravations

2013-05-13T21:30:45-04:00

I am getting really cranky in my old age, especially about bizspeak atrocities.

I recently read an "impact report" that the Almost Underlord put together for the Supreme Overlord. It was about the recent Training Summit that we held, wherein we invited training managers from our customers to participate in a call about how we can help them and what we have to offer. Before the call, we conducted a survey (which we called a "needs assessment" to make it sound classier and more training-esque -- but it was really a survey).

In the report, the Almost Underlord stated that we "socialized the needs assessment with the training managers". Really? Did we give the survey a cocktail and have it mingle? Or am I missing something? Back in my day, we simply sent out a survey. We didn't bother to socialize it.

When did "decision" and "solution" become verbs? I seem to have missed the memo. The Overlord and other people high up in the management ranks here seem to love to decision a course of action and solution their challenges.

Then, just this morning, the Almost Underlord sent out a big memo. She had applied her Lean Six Sigma knowledge to propose a review process complete with timeline. I think that's a good thing -- it sets expectations and defines roles and responsibilities and puts some time constraints on the whole review rigamarole.

Unfortunately, she lost me in the first paragraph when she described the instructional designers' first task: to nurture the content.

Seriously? We nurture content? Are we breastfeeding it and rocking it to sleep? I always thought that I developed content, or wrote drafts, or designed courses.

But I am old and cranky. I suppose I must try harder to leverage my synergies, socialize my documents, and nurture my content as I decision my next career move.

Apparently I Have A Following Among Graffiti Artists

2013-05-05T21:05:22-04:00

I started out just snapping an occasional picture of the interesting graffiti along the Red Line during my daily commute.

Now I have over 250 photos of street art in a Flickr set. I think this has become a full-fledged hobby! In fact, I now have actual graffiti artists following me on Instagram and Flickr! Who knew? I simply tagged the Instagram photos as "#urbanart" and "#graffiti" as pretty soon folks named "trill_ass_arnold" and "durkstevens" and "loudmanee_shmokindopee" were liking and commenting and following. Then I started seeing that graffiti artists found my Flickr set and starting favoriting (it pains me to write that, but not enough to refrain from doing it) and commenting on the photos in it. Scando-Commando even sent me a link to a DC graffiti forum, where I found a posting of one of my pictures! At least the poster labeled it as "stolen" rather than taking credit for it. Honor among thieves, I suppose!

It's really fascinating to watch how the art changes. Sometimes it takes years; other times it happens within days. For example, for months this tag appeared on the side of a building in between the Takoma and Fort Totten stations:

Then one day I saw that this minimalist piece was covered by this extremely colorful and intricate piece featuring Dick Dastardly:

The names on either side of Mr. Dastardly are "Snek" and "Gowje" -- I've got several other tags featuring Snek, but he's usually paired with Fant. I wasn't entirely pleased with this shot -- it's a bit fuzzy -- so I was determined to get a better one. But before I could, this happened:

Voyer struck! I'm glad he didn't cover up Dick Dastardly, because this shot of him is much sharper.

Here's one more example -- I put these three shots in a collage picture to show the original graffitti, the coverup, and the coverup of the coverup! I swear the coverup lasted all of two days before the coverup of the coverup appeared. I'm waiting for a coverup of the coverup of the coverup.

Now, I know that "beef" is urban slang (also circus slang) for having a grudge against or wanting to fight another person. So... do you think Voyer is sending a message here? Or, as trill_ass_arnold commented on the Instagram post of the "Voyer loves beef" photo, perhaps Voyer actually loves beef and broccoli - as evidenced by the broccoli tree under the "loves beef".

In any case, it makes for an interesting and fun commute, watching how the art changes and trying to capture it before it disappears.

Caps Caps Caps!

2013-04-24T20:38:29-04:00

During the Capitals-Lightning hockey game on April 13, Joe sent the following tweet:

Exactly 10 seconds later, at 2:41 of the second period, Jason Chimera (aka Chim-Dog) scored!

See that black spot in the back of the net? That's the puck.

On April 14, Joe and I went to the extra-special spiffy Season Ticket Holders party at Six Flags. We ate hot dogs and chips, wandered around the park, and I stood in line to get autographs from Mathieu Perrault (Matty P!) and -- you guessed it -- Jason Chimera! As Chimmer was signing my program, I told him about Joe's tweet and his ensuing magical goal. Chimmer says to me, he says, "Tell him to keep tweeting!"

Jason Chimera signs my program!

Last night, at the Capitals-Jets game -- the most important game of the season -- the game that we could clinch the Southeast Division title by winning -- I reminded Joe of Chimmer's request. And so Joe tweeted:

Guess what? At 17:53 of the first period, Jason Chimera scored!

Chimmer celebrates his goal. All those guys in white? Couldn't stop him.

Joe had gone to the bathroom just before the goal, but he did see it on one of the many monitors on the concourse. When I went down during the intermission, I just looked at him in amazement. Joe was just as amazed and said, "I know, right???"

Chimmer's goal was one of five that the Caps scored, and we clinched the division title and the third seed in the playoffs! Do you think Joe will continue his tweeting ways?

Yes. Yes he will.