Donna Summer died Thursday after a long battle with cancer.  She was 63.  It was the last dance, and one I can only imagine she’d rather have avoided.

Say what you want, but Donna Summer was the undisputed Queen of Disco.

She reigned throughout the 1970s, highlighted by a mirror ball, in a frenzy of sweat, dancing, and partying we’d never seen before and have not seen since.

Gosh, I miss Disco.

There, I’ve said it.

I love Disco!

It was Dick Clark’s favorite music era, and well, if it’s good enough for Dick, then it’s good enough for me.

Summer grew UP in a devout Christian home.  Her mother said she sang from the time she could talk.

And sing she did.

Her music was loud, fun, danceable, and at times a little naughty.

“Love to Love You Baby” was a huge hit.  It was 17 minutes long and according to Time Magazine contained 22 orgasms!  And nearly as many kids were conceived to it as any Barry White song!.

And, on top of that,  she completely fixed “McArthur Park” after Richard Harris ruined it!

She won five Grammys, recorded with Streisand, and there’s been no one like her since.  She worked “Hard for the Money”!

Today, it’s called Dance Music – sorry folks, it’s Disco.  It was then, it is now, and it always will be.  Everyone else out there singing and dancing the night away is just a poser, following in the Queen’s wake.

Hate me if you want, dis me if you dare, Disco Was and IS great music, fun music, and the only music you could dance to all night long!

Her appeal is endless.

She made a mark.

In 2009, she was invited to sing at the Nobel Peace Prize ceremony…see, nerds love Disco too!

Yes, I’ll miss Donna Summer, but thanks to her, I can always have the “Last Dance”

The girls of Wisteria Lane left us Sunday night.  I’ll miss Bree and the bunch.  She, along with Gabby, Susan, Lynette, Edie, Kathryn, and Renee have let us share their lives for the past nine years.  And, frankly, I love the girl shows. “Designing Women”, “Steel Magnolias”, “GCB”, “Petticoat Junction”.

I’ll miss Bree the most.

Oh sure, it got a little over the top from time to time, and the Fat Gabby years were hard to take, and dumping Nicolette Sheridan was a huge faux pas, but really, where else could we have lived so vicariously all these years?

The finale lived UP to its hype.  Things turned out for the best for most of the girls.

Poor Karen excepted.  After all, she got on the witness stand, took the rap for killing Alejandro, and then breathed her last in one of the most touching scenes in the show’s history.

Really, it was pretty well done.

Reining the show in after nine years couldn’t have been easy, and the reality of the show is that it’s not reality.

No street looks like that;   perfect house, perfect people.  Think about it, at least one house on each street is an eye-sore, I mean, just ask my neighbors!!

Some of it was silly.  Just as they ruined the Edie character over the years, they gave Vanessa Williams – one of the most beautiful women ever to walk the earth – a role that was filled with silliness and shallowness.  It was shallow – and believe me, I know shallow!  It was beneath her, and frankly not believable.

I’m glad Bree didn’t go to jail.  I’m glad Tom and Lynette got back together.  I’m glad Carlos and Gabby are still Carlos and Gabby, and I’m glad Susan led the pack in moving away.  Seriously – THE most annoying character on the show! Whine, Whine, Whine!!

The shots of past characters who were killed off during the nine years was a nice touch.  I had forgotten some, there were so many.  Marc’s a murderous writer.

‘All’s well that ends well’, so says the Bard, and Marc Cherry and Co gave us outs for our favorite housewives, telling us what happened to them in the future.

That was the only part I didn’t like, I’d rather have dreamed that UP on my own.

Like I said UP there, I’ll miss Bree the most.  Really, the crazy husband who cried during sex, the gay son, the crazy husband in the wheel chair, the crazy boyfriend who was a murderer, the crazy boyfriend who was practically a boy, the crazy boyfriend who was a sex addict, the crazy boyfriend who was a cop, the crazy boyfriend who was her best friend’s ex-husband, the bastard son of her first husband who stole her business, the blackouts, the DUI, the gun toting card carrying Republicanism, the skanky daughter, her manipulativeness which she elevated to an art form, the awesome red hair, the cooking skills, the finesse, the OCD!

What’s not to love about that girl?

Yeah, I’ll miss Bree the most!

This is actually heartfelt.

I don’t watch a great many commercials on TV.  They are usually too loud, annoying, and frankly that Flo broad just drives me crazy!

But, while watching the Series Finale of “Desperate Housewives” (more on that later), I was moved by a Dove commercial.

I rarely believe statistics.  Numbers can be crunched in more ways than one, but these numbers if only half right are more than disconcerting.

6 out of 10 girls will stop doing the thing they love because of they way they feel about themselves.

There was no mention of boys, and I would guess the numbers are lower, but really, do we know?  Are there statistics out there?

But, back to the girls, and the commercial.  The ad shows little girls taking ballet, gymnastics, swimming; fun activities that do them good.

And 60% will stop, not because Mommy is too broke or maybe too lazy to take them, but because they don’t like the way the look, or for some other reason, have a low self-esteem.

And, again, there are plenty of people in the world, and I seem to know them all, who suffer from High Self-Esteem.  But, for a young girl to stop doing something fun, healthful, helpful, and exciting just because she doesn’t like the way she looks is really, in a word, heartbreaking.

So, Dove has decided to create and donate to a program that helps girls stay in the things they love, and learn to feel better about themselves.

You can find it on Facebook.  They have a page.

You can find Dove products in just about any store out there, and since a little bit of what you spend goes to help this important cause, I for one, think you should check out their products.

I’ve been using Dove soap for 35 years, and I ask you, “Do I look my age?”

Check out Dove by clicking HERE, help the girls!

Recently, a friend of mine posted on Facebook, “I really want to post something….I am so dull, got nothing…..”

I can’t imagine that.

She was never dull.

There have been a lot of people who have made a difference in my life.  Seriously, a lot.

The standard ones of course:  Mom, Dad, the brothers and sister, teachers, preachers, Miss Frances of Miss Frances’ Ding Dong School, Captain Kangaroo, you know…role models.

But, there are others.

Looking back in horror at my school days, I often wonder how I made it out alive.

Really, sometimes it was tough.  I was an odd duck, and often didn’t fit in.

But there were a few kind souls who included me in their circle.

She was one of them, and it changed me.  We were friends in high school, and friends after.  And though we live 500 miles apart, my memories of the times at her house are still very strong, and all very good.

I remember a beautiful girl, tall, skinny, fashionable, ‘hip’, crazy for the Beatles, and always, always laughing.

Never, never dull.

I remember a young mother, too young really, with a little boy she loved, caring for him, loving him, learning to be a mom.  Often times in harried and difficult circumstances, she loved that child.  I was there when she bathed him, played with him, fed him, sang to him.

She offered her home as a refuge for me, even when it wasn’t one for her.

Oh, life threw her, just like it does every one, a few curves.  Drama, divorce, disaster.  But she remained. She survived, never, never dull.

Life paid her a few favors too.  A husband who loves her, kids who care, dogs she loves and who love her, none of it dull.

And even now, in the few times we get to see one another, I walk into her home;  calming and cool, elegant, eclectic, a style that only she could put together and only she could pull off, and I am at ease.  I don’t have to pretend.  Our lives pick UP just where they were.  We’re 17 again.  We talk, we remember, we laugh, we cry.  But, we’re never dull.

And something tells me that if she’ll just Stick to what she’s done all along, there could not possibly ever be a dull moment.

No, never, never dull.

Of course Time Magazine had to go and freak us all out about it with this visage.

The article isn’t just about breast feeding, it’s about attachment parenting.  ”What’s that?”, you query.

Well, it’s breast feeding, co-sleeping, and baby wearing.  None of which are wrong…UP to a point.

My children were breast fed, everywhere.  Church, Wendy’s, the movies, the dinner table.  Really, it’s not an issue for me.  And frankly, TLW was very discreet when doing so;  and by all means, if a kid is screaming and the only thing that will quiet him/her down, and not get you thrown out of the restaurant is breast feeding, then whip that puppy out and hook that kid UP!

And, as to the age for weaning…it’s different for each kid.  My Mom will tell you that she remembers when her mother quit breast feeding her.  She had to, school was starting in the fall, and Grandma couldn’t go to the first grade with her. As I see it, there probably isn’t a more normal person on earth than my Mother!!  So, later – maybe not such bad idea. My children stopped on their own at about nine months.  Once they got real food, and could smear it all over themselves, the Mommy Fountain was ’so last year’.

History has some interesting breast feeding stories as well, and we all know I feel I’ve failed if I don’t add a touch of the past to my posts.   The Spanish, as colorful as they are,  always have something to offer.  One Spanish king, Charles II, due to inbreeding, was born physically deformed.  Eons of inbreeding in the Hapsburg line caused Charles to be born with some seriously bad genes.  He was all of four years old when he came to the throne.  He was an invalid from the day he was born, and when he ascended the royal potty chair, was still being breast fed by a tag team of fourteen wet nurses.

I can just see that want ad!

His under bite was so pronounced he could hardly chew food, and his tongue was so large his speech was unintelligible.

A real royal catch!

But, back to the Time cover.

Really?  Necessary?  I think not.

If a kid has to stand on a chair and hook UP to Mom, it’s time to have a conversation about Tater Tots, Mac n’ Cheese, Pizza, and Cheerios!

Middle and High School are going to suck for this kid, pun intended.

Once the kids at Hooters High find out that Junior there was the bouncing babe on the chair, and Mom’s a hottie, his life is going to be ‘forshizzle’!

My only question here isn’t “Is breast feeding after a year and in public ok?”, because it depends on the child, the place, etc.  My question is, “What were Time Magazine and this woman thinking?”

Oh, that’s right, they weren’t!

Queen Victoria said, “An ugly baby is a very nasty object, and the prettiest is quite frightful.”  She went on to add, “I don’t dislike babies, though I think the very young ones disgusting.”

Bette Davis said, “If you’ve never been hated by your child, then you’ve never been a parent.”

Jackie Kennedy said, “I’ll be a wife and mother first, then A First Lady.”

Anne Morrow Lindbbergh said, “By and large, mothers and housewives are the only workers who do not have regular time off.  They are the great vacationless class.”

And, my Mother said, many times I might add, “If I can’t enjoy you, you won’t enjoy me!”

The Staff at Redneck Latte Ravings hopes all the Moms out there have a great Mothers’ Day. Especially mine!

Frances Fisher!  She turned 60 yesterday.

Actually, the more than dated, they have a daughter.  Fisher met Eastwood when filming “Unforgiven”.  Things happened, a baby was born.  You know the drill.

Frances is an English born actress.  You may remember her as Rose’s UP-tight mother in “Titanic”.  She also played Strawberry Alice, the madam in Eastwood’s movie, “Unforgiven”.

She’s been on every thing from “The Edge of Night” to “Two and a Half Men”, and served on the board of the Screen Actors Guild.

And, she was brave enough to take on the role of Lucille Ball in the bio-pic about the red head everybody loves.  And she was great!

And…she’s a Dragon.

So, Happy Birthday, Ms. Fisher, Happy Birthday!

Remember the old song “She Can’t Find Her Keys.”?

Well, if you do, you’re as old as I am, and I’m sure there are a few who won’t admit it.

Paul Peterson made it famous on the “Donna Reed Show” back in the 60s.  My sister, Zola thought he was ‘dreamy’.

I’ll let you be the judge.

But, alas, the purpose of this post isn’t keys, 60s TV show, Zola, nor is it dream boats of yesterday.  It’s about hand bags.

Frankly, just like all other guys, I don’t get it.

Back in the 80s, it was Aigner.  Every thing was Aigner, wallets, bags, shoes, cigarette cases…yes, they made them…Aigner, Aigner, Aigner.

It’s the first ‘brand’ I remember.  Every one who was any one at Southern Bell’s 500 S. Orange Avenue had one, or two, or thirty.  They were pricey.  Some were over $100.

Nowadays, a hundred bucks will not only barely fill UP your SUV, it won’t let you smell the leather of a designer bag.

The 90s brought us Louis Vuitton, fake Louis Vuitton, Dooney and Bourke, and countless others.

Of course, the Vuitton brand pattern is only slightly less well known that Coca Cola!

All the bags, then and now are counterfeited, faked, ripped-off, sent UP, etc.

But the real ones can run hundreds to thousands of dollars.

What does a hand bag mean?

What does it represent?

What does it do for y’all other than hold your ’stuff’?

Seriously, tell me.

And, why are they so darned expensive?

Does a $37,000 Hermes bag really ’say it all’?

Wouldn’t a tote from Mart de la Wal do the same thing?

Or, is it oneUPwomanship?

“I’m better than you because I have a better bag”, is that it?

Really, I just don’t get it!

My guess is, that The handbag is The badge of honor, not unlike the right car for a guy, the right prep school for the Harvard wannabe, and the right coffee for me.

But, if I pay $500 for a hand bag, it’d had better have $450 inside of it!

And, please, don’t get me started on man purses!!

In 1774, on May 10^th, Louis XVI and Marie Antoinette became King and Queen of France.  150 years to the day later, Francois Mitterrand won the presidential election, and became the first Socialist President of France’s 5^th Republic.

Fate?

Karma?

The Tea Act in 1773, and the Second Continental Congress in 1775 both began on May 1oth.  The first led to the second.

In 1865, Union Forces captured Confederate President, Jefferson Davis in Irwinville, GA.  Three years earlier on that same date, Stonewall Jackson breathed his last.

In another oddity, Max Steiner and David O. Selznick were born on the same date, 14 years apart.  Max in 1888 and David in 1902.  The connection:  Gone With The Wind.  Any Scarlett and Rhett devotee will know that Max wrote all the music and Selznick was the producer of the mega-film that changed movie history in more ways than one.

Again, coincidence?

In 1924, J. Edgar Hoover was appointed the Director of the FBI.  He stayed in the job until he died in 1972.  48 years after he was appointed, to the day, Robert Hanssen was sentenced to life in prison with no chance of parole for selling US secrets to the Commies USSR.  He was paid 1.4 million dollars in cash…and diamonds.

It’s all connected, right?

And, since even Snooki has weighed in, why the heck shouldn’t I?

This post will cause trouble.

I will hear from my lovely niece, Mackenzie.

I will take flack.

I will take heat.

I will not care.

The New Jersey mom who has been accused of taking her child into a tanning bed has caused quite a stir.

Yes, she’s a tad ‘over done’.

The controversy has been not so much that she may or may not have taken her child into a tanning salon, a room with a tanning booth, or even a tanning booth itself – and I seriously doubt she did since the tanning salon would get in trouble –  it’s been because she looks like an Aigner Purse!  And because she’s as obnoxious as they get!

I’ll admit it, I tan.

Yes, we’ve all figured out along time ago that I’m vain…why, no one knows, but vain it is.  Plus, as an international blogger, I feel I must look my best!

I like a healthy glow.

As in tan, not fried to a crisp.

I don’t look like she does, because I don’t tan like she does.

I look like this.

Here’s my educated guess as to why she looks like she does.

Number one:  she’s salon hopping.  I’m quite sure she has memberships at more than one tanning salon, goes to two or more a day, and doesn’t tell them.  No responsible tanning manager would allow anyone to tan more than once a day, and Susan, my tanning stylist at Outback Tanning Sugarloaf tells me when I need to lay off the laying out!

Number two:  she’s using ’sunless’ tan.  For you pale faces out there, that’s liquid tan, fake tan, bottle tan, tan in a can…that kind of stuff.

Number three:  she’s actually sunbathing in natural sunlight, which is far more dangerous than the electric beach.

Number four:  she’s wearing dark make-UP.  As in make-UP for African or African-American women.

and

Number five:  she’s going somewhere and getting a spray tan – hence the orange look.  (For fake tans, air-brush tanning is the best.)

So, moderation is the key.

Tanorexia is a bad idea, and addiction of any kind is un-healthy.

If  you’re going to tan, and again, I do, do it responsibly.

And for goodness sake, don’t tan and drive!