Essentially, I did.  Have a job for life that is, not screw UP.

I’m sure I screwed UP many times, but not in a big enough way to cost me my job or my career.

I was lucky for 30 years, escaped layoffs, down-sizings, survived divestiture (the break UP of the Real AT&T for those who were born after 1984), several economic downturns, technology advances, and on and on and on…I was lucky.  I had a job for 30 years, or life.

I never understood career hoppers, I was much more interested in ’security’

I escaped in 2001 with a pension intact, a part  little bit trace  smidge of my 401k left, and benefits – for life.

It’s a good thing.

Things just aren’t that way anymore.

Unless you’re in education – and that’s looking iffy,  law-enforcement, or medicine, you will probably have to change careers once or more in your life time.

Some jobs we thought would be around forever just won’t be.

So, we have to say good bye.

Bank tellers come to mind.  With direct deposit, which is required by many employers, ATM cards, Check Cards, and Credit Cards, who needs to go to the bank?

It’s kinda sad, I remember going to the bank with Dad when I was a boy.  Mr. Oblinger, the bank President, treated us both like we were his largest depositors.  We weren’t.  Seriously, we weren’t!  They had candy on the counter for the taking.  The Bank Tellers always offered me some.  It was an adventure.  And it’s going away.

No one has the title ‘file clerk’ any longer.  Imaging and faxes and email have seen to that.  Everything is scanned.  Our copier not only copies, it scans, and sends to corporate.  Pretty amazing really.  Image over light.  (Thank you Alexander Graham Bell, he didn’t invent it, but he talked about it over 100 years ago.)

Very Jetsons and all.

And wouldn’t you just love to hear a voice when you call a company?  “Press 1 for English” instantly makes me want to shop elsewhere. 

Answer the phone, say “thanks for calling” and ask me how I’d like my call directed.  Don’t put me into Voice Mail Hell.

So we are saying goodbye to telephone operators.  Voice mail and call routing are taking jobs away. 

Data entry clerks are no longer necessary.  Every teenager can type, even if they can’t spell.   Back at Ohio Bell, we had a room full of people who were “order entry clerks”.  Or data clerks.  We wrote the order with codes in the business office and sent it to order entry, via the mail boy.  Well, no longer.  5th or 6th generation software has allowed us to nuke that job and enter the order ourselves.

And speaking of the mail boy.  Most mail is electronic now, remember the old days when the mail boy came by, and people said,  ”I got my start in the mail room”.  Well no more, say ta ta to him too.  He’s going away, or already gone.  The guy on “Drop Dead Diva” who drops stuff off to the fancy schmancy lawyers; he doesn’t exist anymore.  Scanners, email, and photo processors make him obsolete.

Ever use a travel agent anymore?  Well, not for long.  Travel agents are being replaced by the internet, Priceline, Expedia, and the like.  These days only large corporations planning huge trips with hundred of employees use them.  And with the economy in the toilet, and it is, that’s not happening much. 

Unless you get bailout money from Washington.

What about a watch repairman, or watch sales man.  My first job was at B&L Jewelers in Germantown, Ohio.  John Brower was a true watchmaker, and a darn good one.

He hated Timex watches because they were “disposable”.  Now watches are fashion.  If you need to know the time, you can look on your I-pod, I-phone, I-computer, and soon, your eye-ball!   Unless it’s a Piaget or Rolex you can buy just about any watch  at Wal-Mart.  Nowadays, watch repair consists of replacing the battery!  Or shopping for a new one.

And video store clerks, well, bye-bye.  Netflix and On Demand have nuked those as well.

What I’m sayin’, things ain’t what they used to be.  That Summer job or part-time job may not be there.

And things are probably always gonna’ be changin!

So, be flexible, go to school, get an education.

You want to have a lot on your horizons.

Some may say there are already enough changes in NASCAR, No more Winston, no more Dale Sr., no more Southern 500, and now this…no more wings, and add spoilers. 

That’s right, spoilers.

They are only minutes away from making  a small change to the cars, granted, it’s small, but it could drastically change and impact how the races go from here on out.  

Well, at least until they make more changes, which it seems they are never gonna’ stop doing.  They are going to replace the wings with spoilers.  Now, spoilers were not used in NASCAR until just a few years ago, and even though we thought we saw them in the 70’s, technically, I guess we didn’t. 

The drivers were complaing about the wings, and the fans sober enough to notice were as well.

Apparently, they reduce the maneuverability of the cars and make the races longer and boring.    Some lately have seemed like funeral processions.

The shift could come as early as this month.

NASCAR Prez. Mike Helton thinks the fans deserve a traditional race.  And recent research on spoilers has given the boys in Daytona a way to make it happen.

Well it’s about time.  Let’s think about the fans, afterall, they are paying for it. 

Who cares if the season is already underway.  Everyone wants to know if the change will impact the competition.

I realize this isn’t a huge game changing difference, like aluminum bats or Poodle Skirts on the Dallas Cowboy Cheerleaders, but the difference will be measureable and and the boys in the garages back home and the pits at the track will need a little tweak time to get things right. 

Could be interesteing.

And of course it isn’t the same caliber change as that “Car of Tomorrow ” crap we’re still having to deal with…look at Dale, JR.

With this change, some drivers feel the there are two seasons of NASCAR this year. 

But, you gotta’ hand it to them, they are giving the fans what they asked for.  Better, faster, and more interesting races.

And it’s about time.

Now, it’s UP to the drivers.

In 1835 the Texan government dismissed its commander in chief, General Sam Houston, for recommending that the fort at San Antonio be abandoned. Lieutenant Colonel William Barret Travis and James Bowie (of the Bowie Knife Fame) were placed in command of about 155 men at the Alamo.

When Mexican General Santa Anna showed up with between 3,000 and 4,000 Mexican troops, the Alamo heroes were able to hold off from February 23 until March 06.

The odds being what they were, there were no survivors, with the exception of 30 non-combatants, the Texas Spirit and the will of the Texan People to gain their independence from Mexico.

Like The Maine, Pearl Harbor, The Buring of Washington, and 9-1-1, never forget…Remember The Alamo.

Not even if your best friend says it. 

C’mon, be nice out there.

While shopping the other day, at one of her favorite stores, and one where she drops a lot of cash, a friend of mine was looking at purses.

Now, since I’ve carried the same wallet since 1987, I’m sure I’ll never understand the need for women to change purses with every season.  And back in the day, my Mother changed them with every outfit.  But, it happens.  Birds start chirping, leaves start budding, and that “old” black purse you got for Christmas is just “not in season”, so it’s time for a new Spring-looking one.

And that’s ok.

During the course of her shopping spree, she said to the 17 year-following-too-closely-on-commission-sales clerk, “I need a purse makeover!”

Aforementioned teen replied, “Yeah, you could use a make-over, have you thought about high-lights?”

Buzzers rang, bells went off, alarms sounded, and my friend realized, “We’re not talking about purses anymore!”

This one simple question set off a nuclear chain reaction of angst, self-doubt, body image introspection, and general EMO level depression.

It was almost as bad as listening to My Checmical Romance. 

And this deep abyss of doubt lasted for days. 

Over the next few days and weeks reassurances were heaped upon said friend by husband, family, and friends alike, but the damage was done.  The b#####y little Botique Betty had slipped the shiv and bent the blade.  It was criminal, cruel, and calous.  There was no turning back. 

So, dear child behind the counter at the Gap, Banana Republic, Ann Taylor, and Pandora – think before you talk – it might make the take-home pay better! 

Afterall, as she passed the first shop on her way back to her car, she held up her new and very expensive purse…you know, the one she didn’t by there!

I really wanted to call this “Sallie Mae’s A Bigger Whore Than Ann Arbor”, but I thought it might scare people away.  Especially the two readers I have in Michigan…so.

Yahoo recently reported the story of Michelle Bisutti.  Michelle is a 41 year old MD who is a family practitioner in Columbus (Go Bucks!) Ohio.

She finished med school $250,000 in debt.

That’s bad enough.

Seven years later, it’s  $555,000.

“Why?”, you ask.

She deferred her loan payments during her residency. 

If one defers loan payments there are default charges and compounding interest rates. 

One of the charges was a whopping $53,870 fee for turning her loans over to a collection agency!

Really, maybe I’m in the wrong business.

Dr. Bisutti admits, “Maybe half of it was my fault because I didn’t look at the fine print.”   She adds, ”But this is just outrageous now.”

Outrageous doesn’t cover it.  It’s usury.  And frankly, I thought that was illegal, must be wrong, it’s just immoral.

Tuition is on the rise.  The state of Georgia announced that it would take a 77% increase at all Georgia State Universities to cover the short fall for next year.  That’s $4,500.00 MORE each year just to be a DAWG!  Yes, I know it’s worth it because the only thing better than being a DAWG is being a Buckeye, but really 77%?  C’mon!

And people think nothing of college loans.  After all it’s “necessary debt”, “college is important”, “How can you put a price on an education?”, and all that.  Well, colleges everyday put a price on an education…and it’s not cheap.

Getting out of student loans is near to impossible. 

File bankruptcy, everything else may go away, (including your credit and ability to buy things) but Sallie Mae’s at the door  slathering  on new lipstick, waiting for her pay off.

The ‘boy’ is in Nashville at a Tech School, NADC.  He will come out with about $40,000 in debt.   It’s a 15 month program.  All during the course of the program, the family loans kick in when the school needs more cash.  And Sallie doesn’t call to tell you.  She sends a note. 

When her emails aren’t answered, (because the password to get in won’t work) she starts calling.  EVERYWHERE.

We’re not close.

And family loan payments kick in BEFORE your student graduates.  Unlike the loans the student gets, there is no deferrment. 

Really, I hate her.

We have a plan.  His and our debt will be erradicated pronto!

As to Dr. B.  She has renegotiated her debt.  She only has to make 351 more payments of $900.00  per month.

She’ll be able to celebrate her student loan payoff just after her 70th birthday.

Love it.  Can’t explain it, it just makes me happy!

I wait breathlessly each season for the new line-UP to be announced.

As usual, I was all a twitter, waiting to see which “stars” would thrill me this season.

This time…not so much.

I’ll admit, Evan “I won a Gold Medal at the Olympics” Lysacek is a great choice, and probably a favorite to win.  Good on his feet, good looking, and hugely popular right now.

Nichole Scherzinger, the girl from the Pussycat Dolls, I can live with.  She could be the next Mel B, and it looks like she has already seen Edyta about costuming.

Neicy Nash will make Macy Grey look tame, and add a lot of humor. 

Me loves me some Reno 9-1-1 too!

Erin Andrews is going from the sideline to the Electric Slideline, and will probably hit the road early…but I’ve been wrong before.  Not a whole lot of football watchers watch the show (with the exception of a renaissance  man like me) , and unless their wives watch football with them, they may not know her.

The obligatory Football Star, Chad 85 Ocho Cinco will be a favorite early –  if he can dance.  The crowd will have no mercy if he can’t.  And the grille may be a ‘tad’ distracting.

Buzz “I was moonwalking be for moonwalking was cool” Aldrin will head back to space early.  He’s old, gets to stay a few weeks out of sympathy, and he’s no Jerry Springer! But I’m sure he’s a darn sight better than Tom Delay! (Who wouldn’t be?)

And then there’s the Batchelor guy, Jake Pavelka – or Mr. Bad Choice.  He’ll be  a fan favorite for a while, but who knows, everyone’s ticked that he picked the wrong girl.  And shouldn’t he be saving all his energy for the honeymoon?

Aiden Turner, from “All My Children” is pretty hot right now, and may be a contender.  The Soap Ladies love DWTS too.  He’s prettier than Giles Marini, you can understand him, and has quarter bouncing abs, so he might have an edge.

And then we come to the final three ‘ladies’ in the line up.

Kate Gosselin, Pam Anderson, and Shannon Doherty!

OH MY COWS!

For the two of you on the planet who don’t know how  UP feels about Ms. Gosselin, let’s just say, I’m not a fan, and think her 15 minutes of fame should have been over long, long ago.

   Before                               After

Shannen “Little Miss Spoiled Hollywood” Doherty will hang in there for a while since all the 90210 and Charmed folks watch.  But she’s not a winner.

And then there’s Pamela Anderson…from all the ‘moves’ she made in the Tommy Lee video, she might be pretty good on her feet, we all know she’s good on her back…

…I suppose we’ll have to change the name to Dancing With The Skanks!

My money’s on Evan.  Great smile, looks good in sequins, and if the pants are as tight on DWTS as they were at Vancouver, he’s a “skate-in”.

It’s sad really, they were so convenient.

I’ll admit, I did get some funny looks when I tried to blame a stack of half-read novels , a dishwasher full of clean dishes, and a sink full of dirty ones on a 5th and 1st grader, but most people let it slide.

But the mess is all on me now. 

There’s the blogging mess.

Papers, notes, ideas, pictures to scan, computers, cords, cables, cameras…I’m sure you get the picture.

Then there’s the laundry mess.

My Mother does laundry every day.  Me, once a week.

And the mail mess.

The one who doesn’t live here is easy, I just write the new address on it and forward it.  But the one in college, well, I just wait for him to come home or call text. 

And of course there’s the stack of “to be shredded” stuff…which seems to multiply everyday.

Then there’s the kitchen mess.  I’ve taken to eschewing the pantry and just stacking the things I use regularly on the counter.  It’s getting to me.

Serioulsy, who needs cabinet doors at this point?

And the bathroom counter mess, why put stuff away I’m going to use in another 24 hours. 

And then there’s the yard.  Wow, nature comes back fast!

But what to do, convenience is key with a busy lifestyle.

And how did I get so busy with no kids to bring up?

But we get that way.

Busy, unfocused, a little “sloppy”.

I’ll go with casual.

Yeah, that’s it…casual.

I suppose I’ll just have to blame it on me.

You’d be doing yourself and your health a great favor, and possibly a favor to your co-workers.

Now, I know in this economy, quitting a job is near insanity.  There are few out there, and plenty of people willing to take them.

Happiness at work depends on many things, how much you like what you do, probably being the first on the list.

But, there are others as well. 

Researchers tell us that you work space is important.

We’re no longer in the 1800s, and OSHA as annoying as it can be really has done some good work in the area of safety. 

Some things to look for:

Eyestrain causes, the lighting might be all wrong – if you can put your hand over your eyes as though you were shading them at the beach, where you really want to be, and theyfeel better, mention to the boss that the lights are too bright!

What about that chair?  Make sure you find the perfect fit if it’s adjustable.  If not, you might want to invest your own cash.  I know you shouldn’t have to, but it’s your back afterall.  Sit UP straight; good posture is called “good” for a reason!

Add some personal touches, a nice lamp, one or two pictures of the family…don’t go crazy!  How ’bout a phone head set, or one of those fat head rests for the receiver?  Loose the candy jar, and you may loose a few pounds, and keep the riff-raff away!*  Keep your workspace tidy, it will create the illusion that you’re neat, have a clean home, make people willing to eat the dishes you bring into work, and make folks think you’re organized.  Careful of this one, the boss might think you don’t have enough to do.  Leave just enough out to look “on the border of frazzled”.

Organize your day.  Plan your work, and work your plan.  

If you can avoid it, never say ‘yes’ on the  telephone the first time.  Say ‘I’ll have to check.’ or ‘I’ll get back to you.”   We all want to make people happy and look like we care, but often you have to see if you can fit that project into your schedule of if you have the wherewithall to do it at all.  It might really not be your job to do what is asked.

Put the fires out quickly.  Nuke the pesky emails and hard to handle phone calls.  Once the hurdles are jumped, the rest of the day will be better.

Check your self honesty.  Make sure you’re working at the level you think you are and at the level you want to project.  Are you spending excess time on the internet (ouch!) the phone, or checking with Mama?  And make sure you’re doing your job and not a task that belongs to someone else.

Go outside at least once a day.  Walk, jog, run, speed through town on your bike or in your Beemer.  But get OUT.  Sunlight, daylight, fresh air, smog.  It’s all good for ya!  Simply because it’s not inside.  This I’m pretty religious about…I always go off property if possible.   But if you can’t get out, at least take a break every hour or so.  Some researchers recommend every hour.  That may be excessive.  A breather, yes, a break probably not.  At school, I walk around the hall during the class break. 

Avoid hunger if you can.  Dr. Oz tells us to eat smaller meals more often, so an apple or other fruit in the mid-AM is probably a good thing.  If you’re starving by lunch time, you’re not as productive and don’t think as well.

Avoid gossip.  Seriously, I know this is a shocker coming from me, but it’s true.  And it hard to do.  It’s just sooooo much fun, and there are things you might need to know.  But if you aren’t in it, and don’t need to know it, stay away!  She may be trampy and sleeping around, but you don’t have to tell everyone!

Try to eat away from work at least once a week, preferrably with a non-co-worker.

As to your working buddies, a really great friend of mine always said, “work is work, and friends are friends.”  And when it comes to playing favors and making business decisions, she’s on the money.  However, it’s a good thing to have a ‘best friend at work’.  I do, at both jobs.    Strong friendships make work more fun, and you need that on any job.

If you work alone, at home or telecommute, get out, meet some people, make friends.  Hermits are scary and socializing is good for both introverts and extroverts.  And if your job is SAHM;  playgroups, home school groups, and girlfriend groups are necessities.

Try to meet someone new at your work location each week, or at least each month.  I’m at a High School with 3,500 kids and over three hundred employees.  I’ve been here eight years, I still don’t know them all.  It’s really embarrassing to say, “Nice to have you here today.” and get a reply of, “This is my second/third/fourth year.”  Ouch!

If a co-worker gets too you, spend some time figuring out why, then fix it or forget it.   Some people need to be dealt with, and some just aren’t worth the energy and will eventually take care of themselves.  You know, the “give him enough rope…” thing.  But, don’t let it eat at you and don’t get angry.  Anger and hate only hurt you, the one your angry at usually does not know nor care if or why you’re pissed!

Speak to everyone you pass.  This is a real hot button with me.  Manners are manners, ‘good morning’ is a required greeting, look UP, say hi, and keep movin’ if you don’t wanna talk. (Or don’t have time.)  Never get “Shyjacked”…some of you know what that means!

And once in a while, eat with the people you work with.  It keeps you in the loop and you might get a really great new recipe.

Keep it light!  Decide what is serious, and live with the rest.  You’ll live longer.

Do not talk badly abou the boss.  Even if he’s a total ass.  Don’t do it.

But, most of all…get happy!

*Note to the counseling office…this does not apply to you!!

…Liz Taylor…She’s 78 today.

You all know I’m a huge fan.  So this is a holiday for me!

She’s gone from the winsome child star to the most beautiful woman in Hollywood and an award winning actress to “the Grande Dame” of Tinseltown.  With stellar Oscar winning performances in “Butterfield 8″ and “Who’s Afraid of Virginia Wolfe”, her classic portrayal of the girl who wants to ride in “National Velvet” and the vamp of the Nile, “Cleopatra”, Elizabeth Taylor has charmed audiences for over 60 years.   Her philantrophic work has raised millions for several causes, including AIDS research. 

Her art and jewelry collections continue to be the envy of many collectors and her loans to museums are coveted.

She’s truly a Grande Dame!

Regardless of her ‘trashed through the tabloids’ life, Liz has thrilled us all.   She’s living proof that a life of excess can rob one of beauty, health, and viablilty, but she…remains a National Treasure.

Happy Birthday Dame Elizabeth!

We’re talking about Figure Skaters here.

Recently, on FB, the father of a friend said “All those sequins on men, it’s just creepy!”

Well, I don’t wear them often, but if I could lift a woman over my head by one hand while skating on one foot, I don’t think I’d take any crap about it if I did.

I’m amazed at the ‘athleticism’ of the figure skaters – both men and women.

The lifts, the jumps, the staying UP!

Wow, how do they do it.

I remember when I went to Ohio State, (gosh, what a week that was!), I was “set-UP” on a date with a girl named Darlene.

An aside here, Darlene is oddly enough one of my favorite names.  Darlene was on the Mickey Mouse Club when I was a kid, she was cute, and I at four or five years old was “in love with her”.  You guys can have your Annette Funicello, I wanted Darlene!  I had a doll, (GET OVER IT!) that I carried around, and guess what…her name was Darlene.

But, back to the date.  One of my sadistic fraternity brothers decided we should go ice skating.  Back in the day, and it may still happen now, the students could pay 2 or 3 bucks and skate all night at St. Johns Arena.

ME – never been skating.

SHE – channeling Peggy Flemming!

Oh, yes, it was the date from h-e-double hockey sticks!

It’s a tad difficult to hold someone’s hand when you can’t let go of the rail.  It’s a tad difficult to stand UP on ice when you have never had skates on before IN YOUR LIFE!

Now, I could roller skate, and everyone told me there was no difference.

That is, what’s the word I’m lookin’ for?  BULL!

I fell, once or twice, a few times, occasionally, three or four hundred times.

Once when I fell, a Wayne Gretzky wannabe decided it would be fun to skate over my semi-frozen fingers – well there goes 12 years of Piano lessons!

And my frat brother, and “friend” could not stop laughing; his date and mine skated on the other end of the rink.

After about an eternity hour and a half of this misery, Darlene suggested we get something to eat.

Great idea, so off we go to some now forgotten Pizza Place (oh that we’d gone to the Blue Dube, at least I remember that place) for a slice of pie.

That’s when I realized I’d chipped a tooth!

So, dear friend, and Anna and Em’s dad, creepy or not – If you can lift a woman over your head with one hand while skating on one foot, in skin-tight pants in front of 12 judges, 10,000 spectators, and 40 million Televeison viewers…wear your sequins!

You’ll not get any crap from me!!