Reflections of an Unpaid Intern

Ohhh Sunday

noreply@blogger.com (E-Read) — Sun, 28 Feb 2010 21:51:00 +0000

I wouldn't have to work if I was THIS GIRL:

Yeah this bitch things she runs L.A. (reference Bad Girls Club). And if I were her, I could spend my precious time following around D-list celebrities and go weave shopping instead of sitting in an office everyday. Come to think of it...she might even get paid to "RUN L.A.".

Hot Child in the City

noreply@blogger.com (E-Read) — Thu, 25 Feb 2010 02:29:00 +0000

Everyone knows the proverbial story of the small town girl moving to the big city. Through hard work, perseverance, and a positive attitude she achieves success (aka a hot boyfriend, friends, a nice apartment, and fab clothes). Well, what about the big city girl staying in the big city? Can that girl achieve success too? Since growing up, we have been bombarded by these movies and TV shows that highlight the "small town girl finding success in the big city" theme. New York City always seems to be the setting (no offense New Yorkers, but the setting is getting tired), and the pop culture heroines who star in these roles are always wide-eyed and dreamy. I mean lets take a second and look at two of my favorite NYC heroines:

SJP (obvi she is the best): Carrie Bradshaw had to lose the 80s perm-gone-wrong and gain Jimmy Choos before she could find her "success." Before that she looked like this

AND LETS NOT FORGET...Jill Zarin (of Zaarrin Fabrics...in case you didn't know). Jill made a HUGE cultural leap from New Jersey to New York. And she has certainly found success. I mean now she has a Blackberry, something resembling a dog, vapid friends, and an all turquoise apartment. But before she reached the top...she had to start from the bottom. Don't believe me? I'll prove it:

I kid, I kid. I love you Jill. You are my absolute FAV and I cannot wait for Season 3.

I will never have the chance to have that wide-eyed look, staring up at the soaring skyscrapers around me, turning in a circle ever-so-slowly. What? I learned a lot from Keri Russel in Felicity. But seriously. I am from Chicago. And since graduating, I have decided to stay in Chicago. I know shocker. But which part? The part that I am staying in Chicago...or the part that I'm from Chicago. Yes, downtown. This how people usually respond to that:

Dim-wit: "So what suburb are you from?"
Me: "I'm not from a suburb. I grew up in the city."
Dim-wit: "Oh my Gooodd. That is so coooool. I cannot imagine what that is like."

...And then a slew of more obnoxious comments.

"Do they even have houses in Chicago?"
"So do you, like, live in an apartment?"
"I don't get it. Do you have to take an elevator to get to your house?"

True story. Then I plaster on my pleasant yet condescending smile and answer while delicately avoiding offending them. Anyways, as I have previously stated, I am a Chicago girl trying to make her way in Chicago. Will I not have a success story that will be the underlying theme in a lot of "Coyote Ugly-esque" movies? Because that is just not fair.

Well I want to set a new precedent. I have aspirations of living the good life in Chicago. I want to move out of my parent's apartment and live in one of those new apartment buildings in River North. One day I will not be an intern, and I will not be unpaid. My intention is start my story as a happy Chicagoan and end it as a happy Chicagoan. Not too much to ask right?

P.S. This new storyline is not exclusive to Chicagoans. I am sure all those obnoxious kids on Bravo's NYC Prep have dreams too.

THAT IS ALL.

Tell-All Book

noreply@blogger.com (E-Read) — Tue, 23 Feb 2010 02:25:00 +0000

I wonder how many of us think about writing a book on our lives. I mean, be honest with yourself, how many times have you asked yourself the question: If I wrote a book about myself, would people read it? I have asked myself this question multiple times (always, oddly enough, when I'm washing my hair in the shower). Here are the two titles I came up with:

- Being the Oldest Child Sucks (catchy, right?)

- Reflections of an Unpaid Intern

First, I'll address the first. Anyone who is the oldest knows that being the oldest sucks. I am not that quick, and it took me until I was 16 years old to figure this out. But there are other, wiser people out there who have come to this realization much earlier on. Like her:

Yes. She is 7 years old. But one day while I was babysitting, we were playing in the park and out of nowhere she looked at me and said, "I hate being the oldest." That is beyond profound for someone this age. But she was speaking from her candid, innocent part of her mind that we smother. And you know what? She was speaking the TRUF. She had already understood something that had taken me the better part of my life to put into words. Damn. For this I will always respect her. Now here is what sucks about being the oldest:

- You are the guinea pig: BOTTOM LINE your parents have no idea what the fuck is going on ("You didn't come with an owner's manuel ya know!"). Well great, so why don't you guys run around like chickens with your heads cut off while I try to muster the energy to grow up. And when you can't answer one of my questions because you don't have enough experience you say, "Because I said so." COOL. That makes a whole lot of sense...and now you see why I am not to bright.

- The rules are always the strictest for the oldest: TRUE STORY - I am the "bad child". Every family has one and I am it. Not proud. But what are you going to do? I did everything bad that a child could do. One of my favorite things to do is to test people's limits. My parents have been the main beneficiaries of this great gift. Well, now my two younger siblings get to do whatever they want. When my mom tells my brother to be home by 2 am...he is home by 3:30am. He gets a snide comment and I got grounded. Sweet.

- WARNING This one is insanely materialistic: The youngest girl always gets better clothes at an earlier age. I know, this is insanely trivial. But when you are younger this sometimes matters more than what clique you belong to. I got GAP jeans that showed my ass crack at the slightest bend and she gets Seven jeans in three different washes. She owns the entire Spring 2009 JCrew catalogue and I owned a fourth of the sale rack at Old Navy. Not that Old Navy isn't great, but....you see the difference.

- The eldest is stereotyped to be Type-A, reserved child: How can all of us live up to this?? Due to this stupid effing stereotype, new parents are expecting a docile, well-mannered child. Guess again. What if I am genetically inclined to be the complete opposite of that (of which I am). Now I have to feel bad that I am this way because someone decided that first-borns are the respectful, reserved child that parents dream of? I know that stereotypes come from truth, but whoever came up with this, I have a message for you: FUCK YOU.

Moving on...to the next book that I have in mind "Reflections of an Unpaid Intern"

I know, the second one sounds familiar. I have had three unpaid internships in my life, and frankly, that is just about as much as I can take. Yes, I learned a lot at each company. Yes, they were all learning experiences. Yes, everyone was nice and accomidating. Yes, it helped me figure out my career path. AND No, I am not worth being paid. No, we cannot offer you insurance. No, you will not be offered a permanent job here. No, you aren't worth anything.

I have started this blog to list my grievances because I do not have the energy (or the smarts for that matter) to write an entire book. I will also use this blog to post personal items, things I observe during this tumultuous time, and humorous anecdotes. So I hope you enjoy. I have actually drawn my inspiration from "The Sassy Curmudgeon" blog, which is by the way the best blog I have ever read. I am not guaranteeing that this will even hold a candle to that, but I sure as hell am going to try.

THAT IS ALL.