Reformed Lawyer

Naughty Boys

2005-05-17T16:48:00.000-05:00

I subbed for a Spanish teacher last Tuesday. She teaches mostly 7th graders, and a few 8th graders (those who failed Spanish last year). She was going on a field trip, and a lot of her students were going too. I had some classes with 3 - 5 students, and other classes that were almost full. She left me exceedingly complete notes. For one period, in which my only students would be 3 8th graders (2 boys, 1 girl), she told me to not let either of the boys go to the bathroom or their lockers. I have had one of the boys a few other times, so I knew what to expect.

Well my day was going very well until the class with the two boys. About 10 minutes in, boy #1 asks to go to the bathroom. I tell him no. He tells me its an emergency. I get worried that it really is an emergency - so I tell him he can go, but has to be back in 3 minutes. As is the teacher's policy, I make him sign out with the time and destination. About 8 minutes later he finally returns. I am annoyed, and I include it in my note. While boy #1 is at the bathroom, boy #2 comes up and tells me that he has a pass to go help with lunch for 5 minutes. He shows me a line in his planner with an ambiguous teacher's "signature." I ask him which teacher wrote the pass, so that I might verify it. He tells me he doesn't know the teacher. Obviously, I do not let him go. Then, about 15 minutes after boy #1 returns from his bathroom expedition, boy #2 asks to go to the bathroom. Again I say no. We then enter a 5 minute conversation about he is not allowed to go, and which finally ends with him informing me that he is going to wet his pants. I give him the same spiel - go but you have to be back in 3 minutes. I also make him sign out. Amazingly enough, he actually returns in 3 minutes. When I check the sign out book, however, I notice that boy #2 has scratched out both his and boy #1's name from the book. I also leave this in my note.

I felt really bad about letting the guys go even though the teacher told me not to let them go. I just didn't know what to do. What if it really was an emergency? How do you know?

I don't know how they do it...

2005-05-17T16:01:00.000-05:00

I haven't posted in a while. The reason - I have been subbing a lot more, and started a new semester of classes. I don't know how real teachers are able to keep up with their blogs. I know most don't have 4 nights of classes a week, but I know quite a few are taking graduate classes, and they also have grading, planning, etc. Impressive.

I did have an interesting experience 2 weeks ago, though. I subbed for the same teacher 2 days in a row (at the good middle school). He was out on a field trip, and so were many of the students. The first of class I had about 2/3 of the students, and the 2nd day I had the other 1/3. I got to watch the same movie 8 times (fun, fun!). Well, one student had not turned in his permission slip on time, so he was not able to go on the trip. So I had him both days. He was an interesting kid. When I went on the first day, the teacher was still around, so I was talking to him, and the kid walks in. He complains to the teacher about how he can't go on the field trip, and he and the teacher chat a bit. The teacher tells me that the boy likes to stop by as many times as possible during the day (often while he is supposed to be in other classes). I remark that the boy must really like the teacher, etc., and think nothing more of it.

Well, he drops by before my next class an says hi. Then he comes to his class, and talks a little to me at the end of the class (the class has free time after the movie). He stays a little after his class (& into the next - I had a planning period) to talk to me, until I sent him on his way.

The next day, more of the same, just more of it. Before class, the boy stops by to complain about a student (& another sub) to me. Then he drops in during my first planning period to talk about his hobbies. I shuttle him off to class after a couple of minutes. He stops by again during his (& my lunch) - I chat a little with him and then tell him I am going to go eat. Then I have him class & he is very well behaved. After the movie is over, and the class has about 10 minutes of free time, he and his friend come up to my desk and talk to me for the rest of the time. Then during my next planning period he comes in again! He claims he has no where to be. I finally get him to admit he should be in the library, and tell him to go back. He shows up 5 minutes later to chat again. I briefly talk to him, and then tell him he needs to go to the library. He does, and I don't see him anymore.

I can't quite figure the kid out. Is he lonely? Is he looking for a friend? For help? He was telling me some weird stories (I believe he was exagerating a bit). He also told me a few things that prompted me to tell him he shouldn't do those things, or that they were dangerous, or illegal. I actually found myself explaining to him that if the cops are after you, you should not run (it was nothing really serious that he had done - he was in a non-street legal vehicle on a residential road- I told him he really shouldn't do that). He also told me that he sees the school social worker and that he and his parents had a meeting with him next week. It was a very weird situation, and made me feel vaguely uncomfortable because I did not know what to do with the kid. I might have him again tomorrow or Thursday, so we'll see what happens.

Dad Rock

2005-05-06T21:47:00.000-05:00

I went to a Wilco concert last night. It is the second time I have seen them in concert. The last show was much better. They really mixed it up and played a wide variety of material from older and newer albums. This time they played almost every song from "a ghost is born" and not enough older stuff. Too bad. Also, last concert they played "California Stars," my all time favorite Wilco song (yes, I know it is from their joint effort with Billy Bragg). This time, no such luck. Jeff Tweedy was kind of ragging on the crowd at the beginning of the concert because we weren't into it enough. I think it is because they were playing their "ghost is born" stuff, which, for the most part, isn't really "hard rockin'." The crowd warmed up as they started playing more rock & less ballad. The crowd was pretty old for a concert (average age of about 32 I would say). That is because Wilco is, as my husband says "Dad Rock." I always think of Dad Rock as Bob Seger, but I guess that was my dad!

I was standing behind some monstrously tall people, and for a good part of the concert, couldn't see a thing. Obviously I could still hear, but I like to watch. One really nice aspect of the concert was that they were filming it, so they weren't allowing smoking in the auditorium. I actually saw security go after some smokers. I wish they did this at every concert! Unfortunately, during the 2nd or 3rd encore, they kind of gave up on policing the smoke, and things got a bit smoky. Yuck. Still, it was a fun night. The show started at 8pm, so I actually thought I would be home by 10:45 or 11, but they played so many encores (which were great), that I didn't get home to midnight. I am very glad that I didn't have to sub until 10:30 am today. I am too old to be out late and then to work early!

I really enjoyed myself, though. I like going to concerts where I know most of the music. Saturday I am going to a Built to Spill concert. I don't really know much Built to Spill music (I enjoy it, but I don't know it), so I am not looking forward to it as much as I was Wilco.

"Welcome to Hell"

2005-05-04T21:22:00.000-05:00

Tee-hee. On the side walk in front of the "better" junior high at which I sub, someone spray painted "Welcome to Hell" in big, red letters. I want to take a picture to post, but I am afraid someone at the school will see me taking the picture and think it odd.

Yesterday I had the best afternoon subbing ever. Most of the school was on a field trip, so I had between 4 and 7 students per class. I subbed math. The first period I subbed, the kids worked on practice sheets. I let them listen to the radio. Surprisingly enough, unlike the other middle school, they wanted to listen to rock or classic rock(!) instead of rap & hip-hop. I was pleased. A high school student who helps in the afternoon came in during this period. I loved her. She wants to be a math teacher, and was asking me all these questions about college, and classes, etc. Then, she asked me if I ever did any modeling. I almost kissed her. I am sort of tall (5'8) and quite thin, but I am almost 30 and don't exactly feel pretty, so her asking this literally made my day! The next class was a general math class, and the kids were having a real hard time with the Pythagorean Theorem. I actually "taught" them. It was fun! And since there were so few of them, they actually paid attention and seemed to kind of get it. The last class was a "challenge" math class, and they were preparing for a test the next day. They had some questions about a few problems, so I started to go over them. I realized they were working with the quadratic formula, and kind of panicked because I couldn't remember the formulas at first (I soon found them on a poster). Then I had to reassure myself I was doing the work right (I was) - this all took me about 7 minutes (oops - I was not prepared, I should have looked over the worksheets before the class so I knew what type of math they were doing so I could easily answer questions). Finally, I was able to go over it with the kids. Turns out their teacher hadn't even introduced the formula to them yet! How are they supposed to solve for "x" in the following equation 5x2 + 3x = 0 (that is 5x squared) without the quadratic formula? They seemed to get it, and seemed to be grateful that I helped them out. Again, I got to teach! Yeah! I left a note for the teacher telling her that we discussed the quadratic formula and that I thought they had more questions. Great bunch of kids (all 5 of them!). I was kind of pleased that I was able to help. I know a lot the my fellow classmates at my university would not have been able to help with math problems.

Tomorrow & Friday I am subbing for health at the same school. I think lots of kids will be on field trips again, so hopefully it should be OK.

Night and Day

2005-05-02T17:31:00.000-05:00

The differences between the two junior highs at which I sub are monumental. At one school (the school where I have had to send kids to the office), the kids are hard to handle, have attitude problems, and many are quite unmanageable. At the other school, there are some problem kids, but overall they are much more manageable. Their attitudes are better, they are better behaved, and are more respectful. I wonder why the differences are so stark. The districts are next to eachother. I don't think there is too much of a socioeconomic difference (the more manageable district is slightly wealthier, but barely). I think the difference might be the teachers and administrators. I think the discipline at the "better" school is just, well, better. They have instilled respect in their students. Of course, I much prefer subbing at this district. I could be wrong. I know there are many factors that contribute to the attitude of a school.

On another note, I was at the "better" school today, and witnessed my first ADHD student who forgot to take his meds. He was bouncing off the walls. He admitted he forgot to take his meds. All day, students were asking him what he was on, and if he forgot to take his meds. By the end of the day, he could not sit still and concentrate. I know the school called his mom about having him take his meds, but obviously they didn't get a hold of her (or she couldn't do anything about it). Even though this boy was a bit out of control, he wasn't that bad. All in all, today was a great day subbing (I didn't have to do much - I subbed for a resource teacher. I had a math class and a study skills class, and the rest of the day I just assisted other teachers).

Monsters!

2005-05-02T17:18:00.000-05:00

I am late in posting this - but I am going to vent about my awful Friday experience. I subbed for a 7th grade science teacher at the middle school that calls me directly (instead of using the sub service). I think I now know why they call directly - because not many people will babysit the little monsters all day, so they call the ones they know will come. My first period (which was actually 5th period - it was an afternoon job) was hellish. There were 4 boys who would not be quiet, and who gave me fake names. There was no attendance list or seating chart, so I could not verify names until there was enough snickering going on that I finally cornered a student who supplied with proper names. I separated the 4 boys, but they were still out of control. The rest of the class was beginning to join in, so I knew I had to put a stop to it. I raised my voice and said "Everyone needs to do their work and shut up! The next person to talk goes to the office" (Now, I fear that I will never be asked back to this school because I told them to "shut up" - I really wish I hadn't said that). Anyway, they were quiet for a while, until one of the boys made some comment. I turned to him and called his name. Unfortunately for me, I said his fake name first before I realized that I used the wrong name. Of course, laughter broke out. I finally shipped the boy off to the office, and the kids were great after that. The next 3 periods was just a movie. I wouldn't let the students do anything but watch the movie (they couldn't do other homework, or draw, or write notes). Luckily the teacher had left a pop quiz for the students to take if they didn't quietly watch the movie, so I had leverage to get them to be quiet and watch the movie. I had to stop several students from doing homework and drawing in their notebooks. I then caught one of the girls who I had stopped from drawing warning her friends in the hallway that I was really mean because I wouldn't let them draw. Ugh. I think part of the reason this day seemed to suck so much was that I had a killer headache all day.

The funny thing about the "mean" comment, though, is this: I ran into a teacher in the hallway and she asked me how things were going. I said fine, and then told her I overheard the student talking about how mean I am. She laughed and said "We'll have to have you back!"

Why Subbing is So Hard

2005-04-27T23:11:00.000-05:00

Poor me. Let me bitch for a little while.

Subbing is actually a really hard job. Not that the work is that hard, but the environment is tough.

First, the people are quite nice (the other teachers, secretaries, etc.), but I don't know any of them. If I get stuck, I don't know where to go for help. Some teachers ignore me, others are great. I know the teachers don't have any reason to reach out to a sub, so I certainly don't fault the ones who ignore me, but I much prefer a job where I have friends! This won't really be a problem when I am a "real" teacher, but right now, subbing is a pretty lonely job.

Second, every day is like starting a new job. A new job where there is NO orientation. I am thrown into a classroom with a bunch of kids I don't know, with no clue what type of classroom management system is in place, and hope the notes left by the teacher about what to do all day make sense. It is pretty unsettling. On the bright side, if I am having a terrible time with it, I know it is only for one day (or, if in middle school, one hour)! Again, this problem will go away when I have my own class (well, I'll be with the same kids, and have my own management system, etc. - I don't really know about orientation and that sort of thing).

Third, substitutes really do get no respect (maybe I should be the next Rodney Dangerfield). The kids don't respect us. Some actually try to make our lives miserable. There are a few who are really great, but most, not so much. They try to get away with everything. They constantly stretch the truth about what they are allowed to do, or what the rules are. And since we don't really know the rules, to some (small) extent the lack of respect is warranted. We can't garner the respect if we don't know the rules and procedures.

Fourth, we rarely know when we are going to work. I have to be prepared to get up every morning at 6:30 am, but only end up working about 2 days a week. I am not a morning person, so this does not really please me!

Finally (this one is less to do with the environment) - the pay is crappy. Really crappy. We are glorified babysitters, and get paid about $10 an hour for our services (with no benefits).

My displeasure with my current job does make me look forward to when I have my own classroom, and can eliminate some of these problems. Right now, though, I am not exactly the happiest camper in the world. But it is good experience - so I will keep on slugging.

I Can't Wait...

2005-04-27T22:54:00.000-05:00

until I have my own class. I subbed for a teacher for whom I have subbed before. It was wonderful to already know some of the kids, and to know who might be the troublemakers. For instance, there was a particular boy who was pretty disruptive last time. Now, last time I let the kids sit with whoever they wanted (I didn't actually tell them they could do this, they just did, and by the time I realized it, I didn't have them move to their assigned seats). This time, as this class was coming in, I informed them they had to sit in their assigned seats. This split disruptive boy from his friends. Nonetheless, he was still a bit chatty, so I gave him one chance to be quiet, and then I moved him to his own table, with his back to the rest of the class. Now, he did not completely be quiet, but he was much better, and actually got some work done. Because I knew in advance he might be trouble, I already had a plan, and was able to put it in action. I know when I actually have my own students, I will be able to plan similarly (and to a greater extent).

Also, that day, the girl who I had to send to the office last time I was there, was very good. I don't know if she was just having an off day (ha ha), or if she realized that I wasn't going to take her crap, so she didn't give me any. In the note I left for the teacher, I let her know this girl worked very diligently during class. Hopefully she will get some credit for being well-behaved. I noticed she was on the detention list for every day that week!

Finally, this class that I was subbing for was an art class. I don't know how art teachers do it. I have never been so exhausted. Trying to keep everybody happy with their paint colors, trying to avoid huge messes, trying to get kids to clean up - it was wild. I spent about 45 minutes after school ended cleaning the teacher's room so she didn't have to come back to a mess. I think I might have gone above and beyond the call of duty, but I wanted to make a good impression. I am a suck up.

And Now I Can Prove My Point

2005-04-19T23:31:00.000-05:00

I subbed first grade yesterday afternoon. Since I came in just for the afternoon, I actually got to see the teacher before she left. When I spoke to her, she gave me some great information. It was like she had read my tips for teachers to leave the sub! She told me (1) how to quiet down the class (2 different ways!), (2) which student I could really count on to help me with class rules and procedures, and (3) her policy on bathroom passes and drinks. She did neglect to tell me about a special procedure (which kids get to go get the lunch boxes and when they go), but the "count on" student filled me in. She didn't leave me names of any troublemakers - but I am not sure if there were any. They were great. I just love first graders. So sweet and fun. One little girl even told me that she wished I could be their long-term sub (their original teacher is away on maternity leave). I worked individually with this girl for about an hour during math (a co-teacher taught the rest of the class - and this little girl is so far behind that she can't really participate in regular math lessons), so she really got to know me more than the other kids, but it was still nice to hear her say that.

On another bright note - a teacher I subbed for earlier (she is actually the art teacher, in whose class I had to send a girl to the office) requested me to sub for her on Friday. Friday is the only other day I can sub this week (because of law stuff - ugh- don't get me started on how much I hate the law), so I am really glad to get the work.

New School, New Problems

2005-04-17T17:47:00.000-05:00

I subbed two times this past week – both times were at a middle school at which I had never subbed (it was actually in a new district). Both days were very, very challenging. I have never had big problems at the junior high in the other district in which I sub, so I was really surprised to find both days so difficult. The first day I subbed for an art teacher. Her art classes went well (in the morning I had 7th and 8th graders, and in the afternoon I had 3rd and 4th grade). Her advisory, however, was a NIGHTMARE! The school had a special day on Wednesday, and the students had to help clean the school for about 50 minutes before lunch. There was another teacher who helped me during the clean-up time by taking about 6 of my students to her classroom to help clean. The rest I had to deal with. Some students were wonderful – they worked really hard at cleaning tables and counters. Another group almost outright refused to clean. They talked back to me and were very disrespectful (I was told “There are child labor laws, you know” and “If I don’t help clean at home, I am not going to clean at school”). To get them to do anything, I had to stand over them and watch them clean. I sent the group to straighten some magazines, and they started just shoving the magazines into the cupboard. I told them I needed them to do it right (and they informed me that “Mrs. _______ would never make us do this!”), and they refused, so I took down their names. Then, as I told the class to get back into their seats, this one girl (who had been a big problem all day) refused to listen to me. I told her that if I had to talk to her one more time, I would send her to the office. She mimicked me, and so I sent her to the office. I felt awful. I have never had to send a student to the office. I do not think that the office should be responsible for a substitute’s inability to control his or her class. But I was at my wit’s end. I went to the office to apologize, and the secretary laughed and said she didn’t blame me. Apparently this girl is just trouble.

My other day was also challenging. I was subbing for 7th grade special ed. Much like the non-workers the other day, I had many students who just didn’t listen, refused to work, and refused to shut up. I actually made 4 students stay after class until they proved to me they could sit quietly. It was the same tactic the ESL teacher used on a couple of 1st graders! Surprisingly, they did sit quietly, and didn’t really complain. There was an aide in the room during the most challenging period (and several other periods), and she did nothing to help keep the kids on task. She just sat at her desk. After school I chatted with her about school, life, etc. – turns out she really doesn’t care for kids this age and is seriously considering leaving her job (I think she would prefer much younger kids). That is fine, but while you are still in the job, you could help out a little. She was a really nice lady, but I was perplexed by her lack of involvement. She is there to assist the teacher, yet she did nothing.

What Every Sub Would Love to Know

2005-04-15T21:57:00.000-05:00

I have been subbing for a bit now (I usually go 1-3 times a week), and I have been noting ways that teachers could help subs (and therefore students) have better days. Here are some:

1) Please leave your method of quieting down your class. If you count to 5, clap your hands, flicker the lights, ring a bell – let the sub know! One of the things that subs struggle with is classroom management. We don’t know the kids, and we don’t know what they are used to, so knowing your methods would be extremely helpful.

2) Please let us know about your policy on locker, drink and bathroom passes. Some schools require written passes at all times, some don’t seem to require (or use) them at all. Some schools write passes in a student’s planner, while others give students a pre-printed pass. If you don’t really allow students to go to the bathroom, or their locker, or to get a drink, let us know. Let us know if you have certain rules (i.e., only one student out of the room at a time; a limit of 5 passes per period; no drink passes). I am constantly trying to guess what is appropriate, and constantly being informed “That’s not the way Mrs. ____ does it.”

3) It would be nice if you could leave us a list of kids to “count on.” These are kids that we can go to if we have questions about procedures, or if we need someone to run to the office for us. This is especially important for middle school and high school teachers because we see a new set of kids every 50 minutes, and we can’t always gauge the trustworthiness of the students quickly. I had a teacher leave a list of these kids for each period, and it was a life saver. I knew with whom to send the attendance to the office, and I knew who to ask when I needed help with finding some books.

4) It is also helpful to have a list of kids that we should “watch out for.” This is less important than the “count on” kids, but it helps to have a heads up about kids with whom we might have problems. I guess this could be a double-edged sword – perhaps if the sub knows who the troublemaker is, he or she is more likely to be harder on those students (of course, if you never let the student start acting out, it might be easier to keep him or her in check - as opposed to having the student act out and then trying to reel him or her back in). Still, I have been warned about a couple of kids, and have always appreciated it. Not only that, but when the students who are supposed to be troublemakers are very responsible and well-behaved, I can leave a note for the teacher letting him or her know that this student was not a problem.

5) If there are any special procedures or special situations, let us know. I subbed for a teacher who let one period gather at the door and count down to the bell. Every other class had to remain in their seats. As this class got up to go the door a minute or so before the bell, I stopped them, and got a lot of groans. Luckily an aide was in the room, and she confirmed that this was allowed (this is another way a “count on” student could help). Another time, the students were supposed to get a piece of candy if they were wearing school pride clothes – I didn’t know about this and wasn’t sure if I should comply with the requests (only 2 kids were wearing the clothes, so I acquiesced). I have also been surprised by the appearance of a student during a planning period who tells me that he or she spends this period in the room studying, or who needs me to sign a homework sheet, or a points sheet.

I have a bunch of other little things, but I realize that teachers don’t really have the time to write a five-page tutorial for their subs (and that subs probably wouldn’t have time to read it!). The stuff I have included could easily be included in a 1/2 to 1 page note that is always in a sub folder (which is easily located on the teacher’s desk).

Maybe I Should Teach First Grade

2005-04-12T22:47:00.000-05:00

I subbed first grade on Friday. When I started the day, I was not feeling well, but by the end of the day I felt great! The kids really made me happy. They made me smile, laugh and really care. Two of them made me pictures (one in art and the other on his own time). There were some kids who were up and down a lot, and one little boy who is currently being tested for ADHD (so he was a bit antsy), but they were all sweet.

At the beginning of the day, there was one little girl who was really upset. She doesn’t do well with subs. Her teacher had been out all week, but the sub for Monday through Thursday was a regular sub, so she was OK. Friday was the first day these kids had seen me, so the little girl was quite upset. The ESL teacher who works with the teacher took the little girl aside and talked to her. When she came back in, she was doing a bit better, but was still upset. I went to talk to her a bit, and she cheered up. After lunch, she was upset again, but after I talked to her, she cheered up again. At the end of the day, she came over to me to say goodbye and hugged me! It was so cute. I guess she warmed up to me. I told the ESL teacher about this, and she was really pleased. She said that sometimes the little girl gets so upset on days when there is a sub that she has to go home. The ESL teacher also told me that some subs just ignore the little girl when she is upset. How awful! I do not think that people that callous should be teaching our children, even as a sub. On a similar note, when I told my husband about the little girl, he was really harsh. He commented that he thought she was going to have problems with a capital P! She is six years old. So she is shy. Lots of kids (and adults) are shy and don’t handle new situations well. She is still young and is learning how to deal with hard situations. I wonder if the subs who ignore this little girl are of the same ilk as my husband….

When the sub is sick

2005-04-12T22:09:00.000-05:00

Last Thursday I was sicker than I can remember being for a long time. It was compounded by the fact that I had to do some legal work, go to class, and then go to a concert (the Decemberists). Also, I knew I had to sub the next day. The pressure of trying to do everything while I felt like crap really got to me. I was able to finish the legal work. I got to class a bit late, and was planning on going to the concert. I even told my professor that I would I have to leave early to go to the concert. About an hour into class I felt so sick that I almost couldn't bear it. The thought of going to the concert was too much, especially because I didn't feel like I could cancel subbing the next day and I knew I would feel worse if I didn't get enough sleep. Finally, I had to call my husband and cancel going to the concert, and then left class early. I am one of those people who cry when I feel really awful, so I almost started crying in front of my professor as I told her I had to go. That would have been embarrassing!

My big question - if you agree to sub in advance, can you call and cancel? Can a sub call in sick? I was so afraid if I did, that I would never get called again, so I went. Things ended up going well, but what if I felt as bad Friday as I did on Thursday? There would have been no way for me to have survived.

They're transubstantialiscious, baby!

2005-04-06T20:56:00.000-05:00

I am curious about the next pope. If you would like to get into the running on the bracket, please click here. I certainly hope I do better on this bracket than the last (I picked Illinois to win it over UNC, with Illini, UNC, Duke and Wake as the Final Four - ouch). My question - how could Duke possibly fall to a 4 seed? Has that ever happened? Is the world finally recognizing the fallibility of Coach K.?

I have that (Miami) Glow!

2005-04-06T20:50:00.000-05:00

As I mentioned, I subbed today. That means I made $80. When I decided to sub today, I told my husband I got to spend the $80 on perfume. And I did. I bought Miami Glow by JLo. This is mildly embarrassing, but I like the way it smells. Like a beach. I recently self-tanned. I have found the best self-tanner in the world = L'Oreal Sublime Bronze. It kicks ass. I am about as pale as they come, and this makes my sort-of tannish. I love it. Imagine being tan(ish) after 29 years of scary pale. Now I am tan and smell like a beach. I love it. So tropical.

I never knew being tan could actually make you look thinner. This is a whole new world for the scary pale. I also found a great new hair product. It is Creme of Nature Detangling Shampoo. It is technically for African-American women, but I recently learned it works well on any curly hair (thank you, Allure magazine). So now, I am tan(ish), smell like a beach, and have soft, manageable hair. This may be a first.

Unfortunately, I might have to cancel subbing for Friday (I really don't want to, but I realised I have limited hours to create documents for my closing on Monday, and I fear I won't have enough time to finish them by Friday morning). I don't know if this means I have to return the perfume, or go sell myself under the Kennedy for about, oh say, $80. Here's hoping my husband decides I don't have to take that route. If not, well, I have that tan and sexy smell.....

What to do?

2005-04-06T20:10:00.000-05:00

I subbed for a resource room teacher today. She does mostly 5th grade, but does three 2d graders for reading. I had some interesting experiences. First, not that I want to be, but I have assured myself that I CANNOT be a young elementary school teacher. Not because I can't handle them (who knows if I can), but because I find them so darned cute. I find it hard to be "tough" on them when they aren't paying attention when they are smiling up at you with these adorable little faces. The same thing happened when I subbed first grade & subbed for a 2d grade paraeducator. I am obviously a push-over for a sweet smiling little face. This is why I want to teach middle school. Sweet little faces have been replaced with raging hormones and attitude problems.

My second interesting experience was a frustrating one. I have only subbed a grand total of 6 times, but I have never really experienced an openly defiant student (ODS). I had ODS in the morning, and he was an angel. He told me that it was "nice to have [me] there." He was very cooperative during reading and did quite well. I was back with him during math. Another student who was also part of my group could not log on to his computer. ODS took it upon himself to help the other student. The other student has a lot of learning problems, and is very slow. ODS, on the other hand, is not as slow. He has trouble with reading, but he is above the others in his group-level. The other student needed to get his password from another room, and ODS felt like he could continue to play around on the other student's computer. I told him to go back to his desk and start his work. He did not. I told him again and again. Finally, he got up, while muttering "But there's no way I am going to do my math problems." I didn't know what to do. I tried to get him to start a math practice test, but he refused. Short of standing over him and guiding his hand over the mouse (and guiding his brain to think!) I could not get him to work. Finally, I had to go help other students. ODS didn't finish one practice test. Everyone else in the room finished at least one (even the student who was quite slow finished an entire test). I felt awful. I felt as if I was ignoring ODS, but I couldn't ignore the other students. I feel as if ODS might get "ignored" in this way a lot because he refuses to work, and this might be one reason why he is behind. It was like I wanted to help, but didn't have the time. I would hate to think no one had the time for him.

... And Putting on My Lawyer Hat

2005-04-05T15:00:00.000-05:00

Let me complain a bit about my previous profession (& the one in which I still must participate since substitute teaching pays a whopping $80/day take-home). Last Thursday I thought I had a closing. I got all dressed up in a suit for the event. This was not an easy task. I have lost some weight since I stopped sitting on my ass all day in front of a computer, drafting documents and eating fast food. As a result, my suits don't fit. I actually debated safety pinning my pants so they would fit. I ended up feeling too weird to use a safety pin, so instead I walked around with the crotch of my pants hitting me about mid-thigh. Lovely. And very professional. Anyway, I drive downtown, pay astronomical amount of money to park, & when I arrive at the title company for my closing, they inform me they have no record of it. Finally they determined that the closing was cancelled. Apparently the request came from my client, who did not feel the need to tell her lawyer. The other side didn't tell me because they assumed my client would actually communicate her wishes to me. Ugh. I hate the law. I have another closing on Monday. The fun never ends. On a bright note, I am subbing for first grade on Friday!

Putting on My Teacher/Student Hat...

2005-04-05T14:44:00.000-05:00

I am currently taking a class on children with disabilities. Every week we listen to a lecture for about 2 hours about some form of disability (ADHD, Autism, mental retardation, etc.). These lectures tend to be quite (OK, extremely) boring. I have learned little about these disabilities that I did not know before the class. What I have learned is a lot of information that will not help me identify students with undiagnosed disabilities and that will not help me teach these students in a more effective manner (i.e., the history of the disability).

Recently our professor asked us to answer a few questions about how we thought the course was going & if there was something else we wanted to learn. I mentioned I wanted to learn some practical aspects of teaching students with disabilities when they are included in my classroom. Apparently I was not the only one who made this suggestion because yesterday in class she told us that this class is only designed to teach us characteristics of disabilities, not methods of teaching. I am quite disappointed. I need to know how to teach students with disabilities! I am taking another special education class this summer, and I hope, hope, hope that we learn methods. The title of the summer class does not refer to methods, just "collaboration." Here's hoping collaboration includes methods. I have so many questions about teaching students with disabilities (well, to be honest, I have a million questions about teaching any type of student!). As a middle school science or math teacher, will have students with mental retardation in my classes? Or with autism? I know I will have students with learning disabilities, so don't I need to know how to reach these students? So frustrating!!!

An Interesting Night (and debate)

2005-04-03T01:38:00.000-06:00

I deleted most of this post, but left this part:

Tonight, my beloved and I got into a fight about what "punk" means. I think it is a sound (I can't define it, but I know the "bounce" when I hear it); he thinks it is an idea. He played me numerous punk songs and non-punk sounds and asked me to define if I thought they were punk. I got them all right except 2: the song he played by Husker Du (I apologize for the lack of umlauts) and a song he played by Television. They didn't sound that punky to me. I guess I need to listen again. The rest I got right - I think he was surprised that I really had an idea what "punk" really sounded like. I think he thought I thought all punk music sounded like the Ramones. He is very into music, and sometimes he puts on his "I know more than you" airs. Today was one of those days. I think I proved him wrong. Ahhhhh - spousal competition!

Of More Importance...

2005-04-01T23:12:00.000-06:00

I am a Catholic. Not the best Catholic (I use birth control and don't go to church regularly), but a Catholic nonetheless. As everyone know, Pope John Paul II is about to die. This will be the first death of a pope that I will remember (I was around three when Paul VI and John Paul I died). I am very curious to see what happens now. I also find myself strangely emotional. I have been on "Pope Watch" all day, religiously refreshing my My Yahoo! page every 15 minutes or so (except during Matlock - nothing can interrupt Matlock - not even the Holy Father). I think I might actually cry when he passes away (I can blame part of this on PMS, but probably not all of it). I wish my mom (aka Super Catholic) was not on vacation, because I would like to hear her thoughts.

A Pleasant Surprise

2005-04-01T22:56:00.000-06:00

I lost my wallet last night. After my class, I went out to a bar. I only had my bookbag with me, not a purse, so I just carried my wallet in. Well, way too many drinks later, I caught a ride home with a friend (leaving my car on the street - I figure a parking ticket is much easier to deal with than an arrest for drunk driving - I am vigilant about not driving drunk). I got inside and realized I did not have my wallet. I was sure I had it when I left the bar, so I figured I must have left it in the car. This morning I sent him an email, hoping to hear back from him. Just to cover my bases, I called the bar, but they had not found a wallet. I hadn't heard from the friend, and I was getting a little panicky.

Then, mid-afternoon my doorbell rings. I almost never answer my door. Nine times out of ten it is someone selling something, or someone wanting me to sign a petition, or someone wanting to rake my leaves/shovel. But for some reason I went to the door. I saw two boys at the door - probably about 10 or 11 years old. Inwardly I groaned. I figured they were selling something (of course, my saving grace would be that I couldn't buy anything since I had no money or credit cards!). I opened my door and the first one says, "Are you __________?" I said yes, and told them my whole name. The other boy pulled my wallet out of his pocket and said he found it ON THE SIDEWALK!!! How stupid am I? And how did no one else pick it up? And how lucky am I that these two boys were honest enough to ring my door and give me back my wallet? I almost cried. There are times when I hate where I live because it lacks the honest, trusting, caring character of the place where I grew up. People around me tend to be more hardened, and as a result I have begun to expect less out of them. And then these two boys ring my bell and return my wallet with all cash intact. I promptly gave them all the cash I had in it (which unfortunately was only $12 - I really wish I had had a $20). I also thanked them a million times and told them they made my day. They really did. They also restored (a little) of my faith in people (or at least kids).

What I Do When the Internet's Down

2005-03-30T21:12:00.000-06:00

The internet was down today. My husband is the only one who can effectively tweak what needs to be tweaked to get it up and running, so I had a weird day. The school district that I sub in is on spring break, so obviously I didn't work. I have a real estate closing tomorrow (I still do contract work for my old firm so I can make some money), but I couldn't do anything with the documents (they are all "on the system" at work, so I couldn't access them). I generally tend to play a bit on the internet and watch cheesy tv. I usually work on class work, but since I had no internet, most of what I would normally do, I could not. So, I went shopping.

Shopping is not as much fun when you don't have any money. I went to Loehmann's and found a great dress. It was actually age appropriate (I am almost 30, but have a problem with dressing too young), but it cost $60. Granted, it was by Laundry and should have been over $200, but I just couldn't afford it. My husband and I only have $300 until April 15th, so $60 takes quite a chunk out of that. I ended up buying a pink hooded sweatshirt for $10 (it was from the Junior's department, so no doubt it is too young for me). So depressing. To make up for my fiscal responsibility, I went to target and bought some makeup. I really can't wait to start subbing again (or at least to have some homework - my classes are too easy this semester!).

Best Invention Ever

2005-03-29T22:00:00.000-06:00

Let me take a moment to sing the praises of what is quite possibly the best invention ever (or at least in the past couple of decades): TiVo. I realize that I am not alone in singing TiVo's praises, but I must tell my story.

I am a reality TV junkie. I watch American Idol, America's Next Top Model, The Apprentice, and the Bachelor. I have not really been keeping up with TV lately (except through TiVo), so I did not realize that a new season of the Bachelor was about to begin. Even if I had been sure, I have been so bored by the last few installments (I count the Bachelorette as the same show here) that I am not sure I would have watched. But TiVo remembered, due to my season pass. I realized last night when I got home from class that TiVo was taping something, and when I was figured out it was the Bachelor, I was quite pleased. Thank you, TiVo. The new Bachelor looks like it is going to be disgustingly awful, and thus much more enjoyable. I am sure my husband thanks you to.

Back to School

2005-03-29T11:47:00.000-06:00

My last day at my law firm was my first day at school. This was the day after Labor Day in 2004 (7 months ago). My school is ridiculously convenient for me (for the most part). The main campus is about a 10-minute drive away. I almost ended up at a different school that would not have been too convenient, but luckily I had a few strings pulled for me. Many years ago, when I was applying for college, I purposefully went out of my way to make sure that I got into school with “no strings.” I wanted to get in based on my own merit. I probably would have ended up at a better school had I used some things to my advantage (alumni, a childhood illness that made me “more diverse”), but I didn’t. I am not so stupid anymore. So I allowed strings to be pulled. And it made my life much easier!

See, as I mentioned before, I sort of made this career-change decision rather quickly. I was set to go to a school that would have had me traveling all over the area to go to classes until one of the partners I worked for at the law firm stepped in. She suggested my current school, and mentioned its convenience. So I called the school and talked to the guy in charge of admissions. He told me classes had started that week, and I would have to wait for next semester. I was in no mood to wait (I couldn’t stay at my job any longer or I feared a mental breakdown), so I decided I would have to go to the other school. I told the law partner this, and she said she could help. Turns out her husband is the chair of one of the departments over at the university. He talked to the dean of the school of education, and I was in! Yeah! I had only missed a week of class, so I wasn’t even that far behind! Time to begin my new life.

What Am I Doing?

2005-03-28T23:20:00.000-06:00

Why have I decided to do a blog? I am not planning on telling anyone (as of yet). So why? Because I have spent the last 2 months reading teacher's blogs. I love them. As soon as I figure out how to link to other blogs, I will. I want to be a teacher. Specifically, a middle school science teacher. I would be interested in teaching math, but science is my first choice.

I used to be a lawyer. A corporate lawyer. At my first job I did international finance-type stuff for a while, and then settled into domestic finance. I worked at a huge firm in a big city. I was in a department that was known throughout the city as being tough. The hours were awful (I spent a 3 month period in which I did not arrive home before 10pm), and the environment was 85% male. I didn't mind all of this so much. What I hated was the people with whom I worked. Some were wonderful. Invariably, they left the firm. Others were terrors. They shouted and screamed. They questioned my competency. They called my questions stupid. I might not have been a lawyer-extraordanaire, but I graduated from a top 15 to top 10 (depending on the year) law school. I was not an idiot. Yet I was made to feel like one. Not a great place. So what did I do? I switched firms.

A more intelligent woman might have figured that it was the law that was not for her. But I thought it was the firm. So I went to a kinder, gentler law firm. I would go from billing 2300 hours a year to 1900 hours a year. I thought this would be the difference. My new law firm had nicer lawyers, nicer clients, and nicer hours. It would be a whole new world for me, and I was sure I would love it. Fast forward 6 months, and I was more miserable than before. I would cry to my husband every Sunday night - "Please don't make me go back!" My husband was a lawyer too, so he should know how I felt, but he didn't think it was too bad. He thought my misery was misplaced and would soon disappear. He thought I just needed to give it a chance. He thought wrong.

I got to the point where I couldn't bear to go to work, but I knew I had to. I would lock my door and lay on my floor and cry. I did my work, but my heart wasn't in it anymore. I went from super-conscientious lawyer to lazy lawyer. I felt my reputation slipping. And I just didn't care. I was so miserable that whether or not a client got a $500,000 basket or a $1,000,000 basket didn't matter to me. But I still had to argue for it. And I hated my life.

My husband, my therapist and my marriage counselor (more on this later) said my decision to quit seemed sudden. Where had these people been for the last 2 months? I was crying, I was depressed, I was miserable. I talked of quitting constantly. I do agree, the actual implementation of my departure from the world of law was quick. I planned my getaway and put in my notice. I wanted to be a teacher. I wanted to teach science (my B.S. is in Genetics). I wanted to teach middle school (more on this later, too). The only advice I solicited from my husband was his thoughts on the money situtation. It was necessary. I went from a six figure salary to paying $5,000 a semester for school. But if I had not quit when I did, I would have been so miserable I don't think I could have managed.