Reggie's Rantings

Yo!!! Can a brotha get a courtesy flush?!?

2013-05-05T19:36:00.002-04:00

It happened again Friday; and every single time it happens, I just want to scream!!! Once again I found myself shouting into one of the stalls in the men's room asking, "Hey....can a brotha get a courtesy flush?!?"

I really hate doing that. I don't want to have to call anyone out. I don't want to have to ask. But we've got a few men in our office that regularly use the men's bathroom on my floor that will routinely emit odors that would offend a pig's nose.

Usually when one of those guys is in there, some decent person will shout "code black" if they see someone else getting ready to walk into the men's room behind one of them.

It's as if they're trying to peel the paint off the walls. They smell the same way I would imagine a wild gorilla would smell if it's diet were too high in fiber. All of them are big burly dudes.....but they've gotta have some serious health issues going on. No one's insides smell like that for no reason at all. In the very least, they need to change their diets for all of our sakes.

There's actually three of them, there's............

Uncle Fester

We call him Uncle Fester, well.....because he looks like Uncle Fester from The Addams Family. His bowels are lethal and he's not opposed to allowing you to smell the full wrath of them. He's actually the reason that I wrote this post. When I was presented with his stench when I walked in the bathroom on Friday, I demanded that he immediately give me a courtesy flush.

He did.........but that was too little and far too late. My nostrils were thoroughly offended by that juncture.

There's Beetlejuice....no not that Beetlejuice, this one. I had to ask him for a courtesy flush one day last month. Dude's so ugly that I don't know what else we'd call him.

and there's 'Squatch, since he kinda resembles a Sasquatch. He's a big burly hairy mofo who spends most of his day eating one unhealthy snack after another and he has the utter audacity to snack on prunes at his desk as well. I've had to request a courtesy flush from him a couple of times since we've worked together. Because of those prunes he's so fond of there's a guy in the office that refers to him as "juicy farts", but that's just too disrespectful....even for me.

The three of them have been known to clear a bathroom quicker than Kryptonite will kill Superman. And the simple truth is, they've got no shame in their game. Although I don't believe that any of them had ever heard of the term "drop and flush", I've acquainted all three of them with it more than a few times.

Nasty bastards.

What is so hard about being considerate enough to respect your coworkers?!? It's not as if they're the only people that actually use that bathroom.

Why in God's name would anyone want to subject another living soul with the smell of their insides?!? Common decency would suggest that everyone employ the drop and flush method.

It's just the right thing to do.

I don't want to have to demand a courtesy flush from anyone, but if push comes to shove, I will.

Why is it so hard for some people to provide the rest of us with a timely courtesy flush?!? It's just the decent thing to do.

She knew damned well her baby was ugly.......oh, and I did get a pedicure.

2013-04-27T18:30:00.002-04:00

The other day I was just minding my own business, trying to get through yet another hectic day at work; when I was confronted with one of those moral dilemmas that we're all faced with from time to time.

This year one of my New Year's resolutions was to try and be more honest. Just when I think everything is going well where that is concerned. Here comes this rather "handsome woman" fresh off maternity leave sticking a picture of one of the ugliest babies I've ever seen in my life in my face.

Then she has the utter audacity to ask "Reggie, isn't my baby adorable?!?"

So I looked at her and then I looked at that picture of her baby....and I looked at her again and I said "Well, look at the baby." She wasn't satisfied with that answer so she asked again "Reggie isn't my baby adorable?!?" So I looked at her again and then I looked at that picture of her baby and I said "My my". She wasn't satisfied with that answer either, so she asked again "Reggie isn't my baby adorable?!?" So I looked at her and I looked at that picture and I said "What a smile!!" She wasn't satisfied with that answer either, so she asked again "Reggie isn't my baby adorable?!?" So I looked at her and I looked at that picture again and I said "Well, maybe he'll grow up to be an athlete?!?" At that, she stormed off......fortunately, she took that ugly ass picture with her.

Time and time again I've heard people say that there are no ugly babies. Of course we all know that's bullshit, there are plenty of ugly babies and plenty of ugly people too. Now the baby I saw the other day wasn't the ugliest baby I've ever seen; but he was certainly ugly enough to scare a hungry dog off the back of a meat truck. That was an ugly baby, all it needed was a piece of cheese or a cigar in it's little mouth.

As I was saying in my last post, lately I've seen some pretty busted hooves. I know you've seen them too. The temperatures have been rising lately and I keep thinking......I need to take care of my paws and my hooves too.

See, I think it's important for both men and women to take care of both their hands and their feet. One of the reasons that I was attracted to my wife was because she has beautiful feet.

She was the first woman that I ever remember looking at and thinking....."she's got some really nice hooves."

Full disclosure......I just love looking at that woman's feet!!!

If your dogs are barking and your paws are ragged, I'd suggest you take your ass to the nearest salon and get that shit taken care of. It is that time of year and the last thing I or anyone else wants to see is someones busted hooves.

Some of you may have noticed that I was missing in action for a few days, from this past weekend until the beginning of the week. Well I took the wife to Myrtle Beach for a few days of rest and relaxation. Now I'd been to Myrtle Beach a few times, once to fly to Miami and a couple of other times to go shopping. But before this past weekend, I'd never seen the beach except when I was airborne on my way to South Beach. We had a great time and while I was there we stopped and got manicures and pedicures......that's right, Reggie will get them. However, although I did have a manicure six months ago or so, I hadn't had a pedicure in a while.......well, to be honest, in a long damned time. The "lady" that gave me my pedicure kept making faces while she scrubbed my heel. She kept mumbling under her breath in her native tongue to the "lady" (who looked like a dude in drag) sitting next to her giving my wife a pedicure. I took a picture and captured the moment for prosperity below. I shouldn't have tipped her ass, but I did. See, I don't hold a grudge. Besides, she did some justice to both my paws and my hooves.

I almost took a closer picture of my feet, but I didn't want to make any of you jealous. After all, mine are some rather nice hooves........they are now anyway.

She's wrong for that!!!

2013-04-08T21:30:00.002-04:00

Holiday Heart was at it again today at the job.

...and before you say..."Hey Reggie you're foul, stop making fun of the office tranny." I'm not, it's a woman, she just happens to look like Ving Rhames with a wig on....and that's on her best day.

She's a really nice person, she just doesn't think that her appearance is particularly important. That's why she walks around with that wig on that couldn't be move obvious if it came with a chinstrap, that's forever tilted to the side so often that I constantly want to reach up and straighten it out for her. What's really a shame and a scandal though are those crusty hooves she's quick to air out in those open toed shoes that have NEVER EVER had a pedicure.

Sure it was hot today, 80 degrees...but even that isn't a reason for her to have those dogs proudly out and barking.

Would it really hurt her to get a pedicure?!?

Okay before you go off, I realize that many many many people never get a pedicure....and that's fine, provided you take care of your own hooves. But even I will get one at least once a year. I don't want to walk around looking like I've got corn shucks on my heels.

and...is it really necessary for her to walk around with those crusty hooves that look like she walked through flour with dirt under her toenails?!? She's got so much dirt under those toenails that you could probably grow potatoes under there.

I mean, human feet aren't supposed to look like hers look. Someone I know needs to do better.

I'm just saying..........

I watch..............

2013-03-31T20:26:00.000-04:00

Tonight marks the start of the 3rd season of Game Of Thrones. I don't know if you've ever seen it, but I absolutely love the show.

It's rather imaginative and well written; with fascinating characters and interesting plot twists. Those of us that watch the show have waited a very long time for this 3rd season to start.

I realized something today....Game of Thrones is the only series on television that I actually watch on a regular basis. I don't watch anything on network television and I don't watch any other series on cable that isn't news related or some kind of political show. Not with consistency anyway. I don't like the idea of watching reality television shows and I haven't seen anything else that moves me enough to watch it constantly.

I can't wait to see how this season of Game of Thrones unfolds. Of course, if I really wanted to know, I could just read the books by George R. R. Martin. But the simple truth is that I'd prefer to just watch the series.

I do watch television everyday. But I tend to watch a lot of news shows and The Military History Channel, ESPN, The Discovery Channel, The Food Network, Animal Planet and The History Channel. What I do watch occasionally are Real Time with Bill Maher and Morning Joe with Joe Scarborough.

I like Bill Maher, I think he's funny as hell!!! While I don't always agree with him, I find his wit hilarious. I like how he doesn't always take himself too seriously and I like his passion for some topics....even though some of those topics are of things I couldn't possibly care less about.

As a matter of fact, I've been watching Bill Maher's "politically incorrect" shows for more than 20 years now.

Often I will watch Morning Joe before and as I get ready to go to work in the mornings. I like his show because it does a pretty good job of presenting both political sides fairly evenly.

I don't always agree with Joe Scarborough, but I don't always disagree with his political views either. To me, he acts like an adult. He doesn't always just spit out the party line, he forms his own opinions based on his personal experience and what he considers to be logical. He has no problem calling out members of any political party....including his own for their stupidity.

No, I don't always agree with him, but I do respect the man.

Tell me, what do you watch on television?!?

Those damned Girl Scouts!!!!

2013-03-03T19:02:00.003-05:00

Damn those Girl Scouts!!!

I saw them standing in front of the grocery store again today. Those disgusting little wenches!!! Trying to look all sweet and whatnot. Pimping those damned tasty assed cookies and trying to lay that heavy guilt trip on a brother.

You know.....their "Please mister please buy my cookies."

They must go through some serious mind altering psychological training to learn how to make those pleading eye faces like that damned cat from Puss N Boots.

I can't let them get me, I can't be deterred!!!

I'm trying hard....so hard to eat right and exercise on a regular.

I exercise on a regular basis, not to get buff mind you; I'm just trying to avoid getting titties. Titties on a man just aren't cute.

I'm trying to knock this B-cup I'm sporting down. Sure that C-cup looks good on my wife, but it sure as hell wouldn't look good on me. If mine get any bigger I'm gonna need a manzierre or maybe even a bro.

Trust me that's just not a good look on a man.

Truth be told, I'm a straight up fiend for some Thin Mints. Some Thin Mints and a big ass glass of ice cold milk are the business!!!

I've sat and eaten a sleeve or two of those damned cookies many a day.

Do you like Girl Scout cookies?!? I sure as hell wish I didn't!!!

I've got a wait problem, I can't wait to eat!!!

2013-02-23T16:02:00.001-05:00

Yesterday due to yet another hectic day at work, I missed lunch yet again. That probably happens three times a week. I've gotta make it a point to do better.

It's not like I want to miss lunch, it's just that there are times when I'm so damned busy that it feels like one minute it's 10:30am and the next thing I know it's 2:45pm. I have far too many days like that; meeting after meeting, conference call after conference call.

And it's not like my stomach didn't notice, but like always it seems to notice just a tad bit too late. Truth be told, I was so hungry that I could have eaten the boogers out of a dead man's nose and asked for seconds............well, maybe it wasn't quite that serious, but I was sho nuff hungry!!!

For the rest of the day, I ended up fiending on a good steak. While sitting in a leadership meeting from 3pm-5pm, I sat there drooling, thinking of a New York Strip or a nice Filet Mignon from Ruth Chris's or Shula's Steakhouse. Those are two of my favorite steakhouses and what I seem to fiend on when I'm really hungry.

What do you want when you're really really hungry?!? What's your favorite place to eat?!?

Now I'm totally pissed off!!!!

2013-02-04T22:15:00.000-05:00

I rarely watch network television; and when I do, it's usually just to watch football or baseball.

But this evening in a moment of complete boredom and the fact that my television was already on that channel anyway.....since I was watching the SuperBowl last night, I actually watched a little bit of our local news.

....and I wish that I hadn't.

The news is usually depressing enough, but I saw something that really disturbed me and pissed me off all at the same time.

Because the news segment that I saw, had to do with an elderly man that was over 100 years old being "allegedly abused" by a young man that worked at the nursing home that he was living in. The nursing home, I might add, that his family just assumed that he was being well cared for in.

He had apparently mentioned to his granddaughter that sometimes "bad things" happened there.....and sometimes those "bad things" happened to him. From the sound of the news segment, it seemed that either the old dude was starting to lose it and his granddaughter was skeptical or perhaps he was just being cryptic out of embarrassment over what was happening to him.

In an effort to understand just what was going on with her loved one, his granddaughter had left a video camera in his room to record what happens to him when she's not there.

Well apparently the old gentleman was actually being sexually assaulted by one of the young men that worked there......and the final assault was actually caught on tape.

That's right, he wasn't getting beaten up, like what happens to so many elderly patients at these types of facilities (and yes I'm gonna get back to that in just a minute), he was being sexually assaulted. At the end of the news segment, they showed the mugshot of the booty snatching attendant. Yes thankfully, they arrested him and took his ass to jail.

This story really pissed me off, because it reminded me of just what happened to my own dear grandfather.

My grandfather was a farmer who lived in central Alabama throughout his entire life.

He was born in 1913 to a bi-racial farmer in Clanton, Alabama. After just a few years of school, he left school to help my great grandfather work the family farm full time. While he toiled on that farm, tilling the soil and raising livestock, a few of his siblings and all of his children went to college. All of his grandchildren went to college. Many of us have at least one degree, more than a few have master's degrees.

My grandfather dedicated himself to working from sun up to sun down on that farm. He worked hundreds of acres of land; raising livestock, planting crops.....doing back breaking work. He was the most fit man that I ever met. When I was a college student and he was in his 70s and I would help him on his farm, he could run rings around me. He never seemed to tire and like most farmers he worked as long as the sun was up and often times beyond that.

He was a good natured man with a wealth of common sense. He went to church every Sunday and laughed often. He was downright funny and I could tell you stories about him that would have you wetting your pants. Many of the things that I routinely say now, I say because I heard him say them many many many times.

When I look at my generation and I see the many successful, intelligent people that are his grandchildren, I see a little bit of him in all of us.

Well, when my grandfather turned 75 or so, we could all see that he was starting to change. His mind wasn't quite as sharp anymore and within time, he started becoming easily confused, he started forgetting things that he had known like the back of his hand, he forgot our names and sometimes he told us things he wouldn't have in years prior.

Alzheimer's destroyed the man I knew.

So my family placed him in a long term care facility. It wasn't very far from where he lived and my mother, one of my aunts and my uncle regularly visited him there. His children were looking after him. One day my mother went there to see him on her way home from work and they wouldn't let her see him. They made many lame excuses, but my mother wouldn't be deterred. They asked her to come back the next day and she refused.....instead she called my uncle.

When my uncle got there....ready to burn the place down if they wouldn't let him see his father, they finally admitted that there had been an "accident".

One of the attendants that worked in the facility in maintenance; viciously attacked my 80 year old grandfather earlier in the day and beat him to within an inch of his life.

Oh I have never wanted to kill anyone in my life......like I wanted to kill that young man; and I wasn't the only one. The only reason why he is alive today is because he was arrested immediately. I'm sure that someone in my family would have found him if he wasn't fortunate enough to get arrested.

But that's another story, he went to jail and there is a small part of me that's glad that I didn't have anything to do with burying him somewhere down a dirt road in Alabama..........a small part of me anyway.

My grandfather eventually recovered, my family sued that facility and ended up with enough money to pay someone to come by his house and care for him, along with my grandmother, until he died 7 years later.

My family wouldn't have known what happened to my grandfather, if they didn't go and see him on a regular basis.

There are times that I hear of elder abuse even now, years later and I get angry as hell all over again!!!

There's a special place in hell reserved for the type of people that abuse those that can't defend themselves.

Anyone of us, or all of us could end up in a long care facility like this. If you have loved ones that require this type of care, please look after them. If you're not willing to look in on them and make sure that they're alright, maybe no one will. Maybe, just maybe your loved one (or even you one day) could end up in a living hell..........day in, day out for the rest of their natural lives.

Crusty hooves and Tranny-esque style

2013-01-28T21:04:00.002-05:00

Today I was witness to a crime.....a crime I might add that unfortunately I've seen all too often over the years.

Oh I know you're looking at that picture of "Holiday Heart" up there and wondering...."Why is Reggie putting holiday pictures in his post when that ended a month ago?!?"

Right?!?

Well, just gimme a chance here.......

Hear me.....

I'm a man. I can't even begin to imagine how difficult it is to be a woman. I realize that women have it tough. I mean, take me for instance....I've been shaving my head for 25 years because I'm too lazy to brush or comb it. But everyday without fail, I rise out of the bed and take a shower and brush my teeth.....and I don't forget the Listerine either. I take the time to take care of the bare essentials.

What I'm saying is....I'm in and out of the bathroom fairly quickly and I know for the most part, you ladies need to spend extra time in there.

I'm not saying that's a bad thing either because I for one realize that you ladies have a lot more stuff to take care of when you're in the bathroom or just getting yourself together; and I'm sure I speak for all the fellas when I say, take that extra time.

Please make sure that everything is together, BEFORE you leave home.

Yeah, I know I haven't gotten to the point yet....but I'm getting there, so please be patient.

Okay okay okay, before I make my point......just one more thing, so please bare with me.

I don't know what the weather's like where you are, but down here in South Carolina, lately we've regularly been seeing temperatures in the 70s.....which is what happened today.

Which has something to do with "said crime".

You see, unfortunately, some of the "ladies" down here....and specifically in my office haven't adjusted to those warm temperatures when it was fairly cold for a couple of weeks earlier in the year.

Hey, I'm trying to give them the benefit of the doubt.

So......................

Apparently some of the ladies in my office ended up coming out of that "wrap" or that "wig" or that "scarf" they had on their heads prematurely....before they could properly take care of that bargain basement weave they've been sporting for a couple of weeks under it; and they've decided to jump the gun and put on those open toed shoes BEFORE getting that much needed pedicure too.

In short, with those jacked up weaves and busted hooves they're sporting.....I'm just gonna go ahead and say it, they look like trannies.

Yeah, trannies. I said it. It is what it is.

Please please please don't walk around looking like you've walked through flour or that you're part Wookie or Hobbit on your mother's side or that you've just walked ten miles on a rocky road or cement barefoot. Before you whip out those hooves....please take the time to do that thing that so many of you are decent enough to do.

Do what you want to with your feet......get a pedicure or don't, just don't make the rest of us have to look at it too if your feet are jacked up and crusty and you decided to wear open toed shoes.

If your weave....or your natural hair or whatever the hell you've got up there and your feet look like this........

I................why?!?

Why?!?

Look here, all I'm saying is that if you're gonna sport those open toed shoes, then at least have the common decency to get a pedicure...........before someone loses their lunch and last night's dinner too. Before you share your 'do with the world, get your head taken care of..................please!!!! Don't kick that tranny-esque style. It's just not a good look.

Yeah I know you've heard of Gangnam Style, well clearly there's a Tranny Style too.

Keep your cooties to yourself!!!!

2013-01-09T20:26:00.000-05:00

It's flu and cold season, so I'm seriously on my guard. You know why?!? Because I'm scared of cooties.

Whenever anyone ever calls me a germaphobe, I look directly in their pie hole and say "guilty as charged!!!"

Ya know why?!? Well, it's a simple truth....so why deny it?!? I'm an avowed germaphobe.

I hate it when people sneeze in my vicinity, even if they don't sneeze directly on me. The fact is, that stuff goes everywhere. Anytime someone sneezes and doesn't cover their mouth, their cooties go airborne quicker than Kryptonite will kill Superman. Just about every year, I'll get a flu shot.....I got one about six weeks ago in anticipation of the flu and cold season that's in full effect right now.

Even though I know people will get sick, sometimes even if they've had a shot. I still do it as a precaution. It's not like little elves go to my office and do my work, so I'm forever washing my hands, using hand sanitizer, sucking down cough drops and avoiding sick ass people. To all you sick ass people out there..........please keep your cooties to yourself; and if by chance you're sick or not feeling particularly well.........please stay the hell away from me. It's not personal, it's all about self preservation to me.

If you're sick, please stay the hell away from me; and if you're not, please consider getting a flu shot......especially if you plan on being anywhere near me.

Django Unchained

2012-12-28T17:24:00.002-05:00

I don't often endorse movies. To me, movies are like books, it's best you choose your own because we all have different tastes. That way you'll end up with something that you will be sure to like; and if you don't..........your mistake. However, Django Unchained is in my mind a very very good movie......despite what Spike Lee thinks.

I don't know if you've heard that Spike Lee thinks that all people of color should boycott this film and I don't know that you even care. Of course that's his opinion....but it's not mine.

Now the word NIGGER and all of it's catchy lil cousins was used over and over again during this movie. I don't use the word NIGGER or the word NIGGA as a part of my regular vocabulary. Just using the word in everyday communication is ignorant to me, I don't care who uses it. I've listened to a host of all races use it including friends and family, I just don't. I won't call it "the N word" though, that's just lame and disingenuous. The people that really and truly know me, know not to use the word in my presence. That being said, while I'm not a fan of the usage of the word, it's been used quite a bit in our nation's history, particularly during the time period that this movie takes place. Hell, it's being used somewhere right now by some fool and you can take that to the bank. Our country didn't invent racism or prejudice, but we may have perfected it.

In this country, the racism train and the ignorance train are never late. They are always right on time.

Anyone who has ever watched a Quentin Tarantino film, would have to have heard the word used......a few times (okay maybe a few hundred times).

Still......I enjoyed this film immensely. More so than anything I've seen in quite some time. The acting in it was exceptional too, particularly from Jamie Foxx, Leonardo DiCaprio and the incomparable Samuel Jackson.

This movie doesn't sugarcoat the depiction of slavery in the years prior to our Civil War. Slavery wasn't pretty, but it's a part of our history. Maybe, just maybe, it's time we came to grips with the reality of it? Maybe it's time that we were honest about it? Maybe it's time that we stopped acting like slavery occurred hundreds of years ago, it's only been 150 years. It's a sad part of our nation's history, but let's not act like it didn't happen; and let's not act like slave owners treated their slaves like their own children. That's the nonsense that many today would have you believe. Who would want their children beaten, raped, tortured, treated like mindless animals and in chains?!?

I must say that there have been more than a few Quentin Tarantino movies that I've enjoyed immensely. His films are filled with graphic violence, witty dialogue and interesting plot lines. This one is no different. I don't know the man, but I think he's a fantastic director. The first time that I saw Pulp Fiction, I was taken aback by the dialogue. Now I watch it and laugh over and over again, it's a very funny film, just like this one was at times.

I encourage everyone to go out and see the film, and then, come back and let's talk about it.

I want to talk about this film. There are disturbing depictions of violence and lamentable depictions of the base nature of people. There are people in this film both Caucasian and African American that aren't worth more than two dead flies.

It is what it is.

It's kinda hard to talk about something you haven't seen though. I'm not saying that it's impossible, it's just kinda hard......maybe Spike Lee doesn't know that?!?

Maybe, just maybe it's time that we talked openly and honestly about race in this country....maybe that would help?!? So even if you haven't seen this film, let's have a frank and honest discussion about race. Let's talk about what bothers you; and I welcome any and all comments from anyone and everyone; and I would prefer that no one come anonymous.

Oh no, I will not be eating your food!!!

2012-12-11T18:31:00.001-05:00

Oh hell no.......and don't ask again. I'm not gonna be eating your food. So don't offer to bring me some of your world famous peach cobbler or that bean salad you make that'll make your tongue slap your brains clean out. I'm just gonna go ahead and take the zero. I'm not gonna be eating your food. I'm not gonna be eating anything at the office potluck.

There is no such thing as the "stomach flu" that's been going around the office. That's just nasty ass people that don't wash their goddamned hands; putting their paws in someone's food.

So don't bother asking me if I will be participating in the office potluck. To me, potluck equals nausea, stomach cramps, violent vomiting and wild bowels (yeah that kind of vicious diarrhea that'll make your ass feel like a flamethrower).

I don't know you, we just work together. I can see how nasty you are at work. Not washing your hands when you're in the bathroom. Scratching your ass or digging in it good and hard and then putting those french fries in your mouth in the breakroom. Digging in your nose right before you grab your cellphone and take that call you've been waiting on. Scratching your crotch and then sniffing your fingers. Sneezing into your bare hands and wiping it on your pants. I hear you talk about those cats at home, I just assume they're standing on your counter while you're making that potato salad....licking out of the bowl.....you nasty cow!!!

Nope, not this little black duck. I'm gonna take the zero. To me, office potlucks will wipe out a slew of people in the office quicker than Kryptonite will kill Superman. But it's not gonna happen to me......because I'm not eating anyting!!!

Nope not me!!! And please, don't ask again. I'm not gonna eat your nasty ass food!!!

Make my ass feel like a flamethrower?!? No thank you, I'm good.

Please leave my penis alone & my brother's milestone.

2012-11-30T19:07:00.000-05:00

It seems that once or twice a week, I end up getting an email promising to enlarge my penis. Why would anyone I've never met before be concerned about the size of my penis? As if I asked someone to send me these emails in the first damned place.

Hey....just send these emails to the "little guys", I'm sure they want them......I don't.

I'm not trying to make fun of anyone; least of all, my "little brothers" out there. I'm just trying to understand why I get so many emails offering to enlarge my penis. Is there really that much money in that?!? While I realize that's a problem for some people, that's just not a problem for me...........I'm good.

Why do I get these emails?!? And yes, I'm sick and tired of getting them. I'm sure I signed into some website....frequented by men with small penises. Or maybe it's because my email name has a male name in it?!? I mean Reggie/Reginald is clearly a man's name. Maybe that is why I get these stupid emails?!? Does anyone else reading this ever get them?!?

Seriously, what type of man actually responds to these emails?!?

By the way, I took some time to look up some "little man" jokes.....

Your dick's so small, you could use a thimble and fishing line for a thong.
Your dick's so small, it looks like one of the California raisins.
Your dick's so small, a cop frisks you and asks, "Sex change?"
Your dick's so small, the doctor wasn't quite sure what you were when you were born.
Your dick's so small, sperm's a tight squeeze.

Yeah I know that was mean right?!? No offense to my "lil brothers" out there.

Do women get emails offering to enlarge their breasts?!?

Oh and one more thing......my older brother Kyle will be celebrating his 50th birthday on January 1st 2013. That's a milestone birthday, of course, and I'd like to give my brother something nice for his birthday.

I just don't know what to get him.

What do you give someone who turns 50?!? A nice gift, something they'll remember.....without necessarily breaking the bank.

Not that I want to be cheap about it, my brother (my only brother) will only turn 50 once.

My brother and I are as different as night and day. We're probably about as different as two brothers could be and still have the same blood running through their veins.

Let me give you a little background on him....

He's a truck driver, he's served in the United States Air Force, he's short and muscular while I'm tall and of a fairly thin build, he's the father of at least 5 children (that I know of), he's been married and divorced 5 times (that I know of), he's never met an ugly woman in his life, he lets both his beard hair (yeah he's got one) and the hair on his head grow long (sometimes he sports that Jesus-esque look) and he takes a bath once a week whether he needs one or not.

Of course, he's my big brother and I love the guy dearly, despite our many differences. I'm just at a loss as to a birthday gift for him. Tell me, what do you give your brother (that's like my brother) for their 50th birthday?!?

I'm serious....I'm looking for some ideas.

Just a few of my pet peeves..........

2012-11-17T18:34:00.000-05:00

Like most people, I have a few pet peeves.

Nothing too serious, mind you, I believe that my pet peeves are probably things that bother most people.

First of all, I can't stand nasty ass people. I've said it before and I will say it again.....and probably again.....I firmly believe that instead of 7 drawfs, there were originally 10 drawfs. But 7 of those 10 dwarfs asked Cheesy, Funky and Nasty to leave.

Is it too much to expect that a grown ass man would wash his hands before he leaves the men's room?!? Whether or not you were in that back stall, yet again, sounding as if you were giving birth....is irrelevant to me. Shouldn't we all wash our hands before leaving the bathroom?!?

Why would a man take a coffee cup into a bathroom stall with him?!?

Why is it that when a man that doesn't wash his hands.....and I've seen him exit the men's room without washing his hands. Why is it that when he extends his hand for me to shake and I just look at his bacteria encrusted paw, rather than shake it......why is it that I would be called rude for not shaking his nasty ass hand?!?

Is it too much in a professional office environment to expect a grown man not to say "dis" or "dat" (even in the south)?!? Please please don't look at me and say "you know how we do". I don't expect the queen's English, but what in the flap jack titty hell does "gooney goo goo" mean?!?

Is it too much to expect that your coworkers in said professional environment would brush their teeth daily so that their mouth didn't smell like bear pussy?!?

Is it too much in a professional environment to expect that you wouldn't be forced to smell another human being's body?!?

Why would any adult smell like onions or a fish market at 8 o'clock in the morning?!?

Is it too much to expect a grown man to go into the men's room and not fill up the toilet before he flushes it?!? What is so hard about the drop and flush method?!? Why must I be forced to shout over the stall and request a "courtesy flush"?!? Why must my eyes water when I go into the men's room after that person leaves......and probably without washing his hands?!?

What kind of person sneezes into their hand and wipes it on their pants?!?

Why are some people so goddamned nasty?!?

What are some of your pet peeves?!?

Getting high for taxes and getting tatted up

2012-11-10T18:18:00.002-05:00

Now that the 2012 presidential election is over, it's time to move on to the many issues confronting our country and we do have our share of issues. The way I see it, our main issue is our national debt. No matter who won the election, that president needed to do whatever possible to pay off some of the crippling debt that our country finds itself in today. Cutting taxes isn't going to help us do that, despite what those brain dead fools on the right are saying.

Political rhetoric aside, someone needs to be the adult in the room where our debt is concerned. At this point, I don't think that anything should be taken off the table in an effort for us to become financially sound again. I wouldn't be upset if we all got at least a little tax increase, especially those Americans making in excess of $250,000 a year. We're spending entirely too much money on our military and we could stand to tighten our belts where a few other programs are concerned as well.

Personally, I'd like to see prostitution and marijuana legalized as a means of gaining a little more revenue. I'm sure that the tax revenue from both would go a long way to clearing out at least some of that debt.

People are always gonna be smoking some herb, so why not utilize that as a means of tax revenue; and we all know that what prostitutes are selling will sell when bread don't. Why wouldn't we legalize both?!? But hey, my focus today is marijuana. I'm not smoking it, but I know many of you do. Hell if we legalize marijuana, every pizza joint and fast food restaurant will reap the benefits as well. I wouldn't be surprised if some of you were high right now. That alone would explain why some of you read this shit I write.

Okay....enough of that, let me move on to something just a tad bit more near and dear to me. Something skin close, as a matter of fact.

Lately I've been thinking more and more of getting my first tattoo. No, this late in the game, I still don't have a tattoo. But right now, I'm open to getting one like I've never been before.

I just don't know what to get. I'm open to any suggestions you might have. I would like for you to keep in mind that at this point in my life I'm fairly lean, but I don't have anywhere near what I would call a muscular body. I've never owned a muscle shirt....and there's a reason why. So whatever I do get, I don't want it sagging a few years from now when I enter my fifth decade.

I don't have enough body to put the Sistine chapel on my back and any tribal bands would probably just look like vines on me anyway. No, I'm not sporting any moobs, but I'm not super skinny either. I've got a semi-lean 6'1, 180 pound frame these days.

Oh and I most definitely won't be getting any facial tattoos....that's out. I'm not really sure where I would put a tattoo either. I'm gonna probably need some help with that too. At this point I'm not sure what I should get, so I'm open to suggestion.

I promise that no matter what I end up getting, I won't be getting any shit like this. So tell me, what do you think I should get and where do you think I should get it?!?

Sometimes we need to look within.

2012-11-03T21:57:00.001-04:00

I know that I'm far from perfect. Lately I've spent a good deal of time looking within. When I take a good look, to be honest, I haven't always liked what I've seen. But everyday I strive to be a better person. I think it behooves us all to look within and take a personal inventory from time to time. When we don't like what we see, it's absolutely necessary to make changes that help us become the person that we need to be.

It's not just important to do that for ourselves, it's important to do that for the other people in our lives.

Being a better person will make me a better husband, father, son, brother, uncle, cousin, neighbor, friend, coworker, citizen and a far better human being.

Looking within is part of our personal growth. I will be a better person and I will strive to grow every day......will you?

Republican Senate candidate claims that pregnancies that come from rape are just God's will.

2012-10-23T22:22:00.002-04:00

Can someone...........anyone, kindly explain to me why in the flapjack titty hell a woman would even consider voting Republican this fall?!? I jacked the story below from CNNs website. This is utterly mind boggling and the wanton ignorance of the statement itself defies logic!!!

Republican Senate candidate claims that pregnancies from rape are just God's will.

(CNN) – Richard Mourdock, running for U.S. Senate in Indiana, said at a debate Tuesday that pregnancies resulting from rape are intended by God.

The Republican candidate was explaining his opposition to abortion in cases of rape or incest when he made the remark.
"I struggled with it myself for a long time, and I realized that life is a gift from God, and I think even when life begins in that horrible situation of rape, that it is something God intended to happen," Mourdock said, explaining that he would allow for exceptions to an abortion ban when a mother's life is in danger.
In early May, Mourdock defeated longtime GOP Sen. Richard Lugar in a bitterly contested GOP primary vote, and is facing Democratic Rep. Joe Donnelly in November's election.
In a statement following the debate, Mourdock wrote that "God creates life, and that was my point."
"God does not want rape, and by no means was I suggesting that He does. Rape is a horrible thing, and for anyone to twist my words otherwise is absurd and sick," he continued.
Donnelly also responded, writing, "I think rape is a heinous and violent crime in every instance. The God I believe in and the God I know most Hoosiers believe in, does not intend for rape to happen–ever. What Mr. Mourdock said is shocking, and it is stunning that he would be so disrespectful to survivors of rape."
Mourdock has enjoyed support from GOP presidential nominee Mitt Romney, who traveled to Indiana in August to campaign for the tea party-backed candidate alongside former Vice President Dan Quayle and Senate Minority Leader Mitch McConnell. Romney has also appeared in a television ad for Mourdock.
Former President Bill Clinton stumped in Indiana last week for Donnelly. A Howey/DePauw University poll taken September 19-23 showed Donnelly at 40% and Mourdock at 38% among likely Indiana voters.
The Republican Senate candidate's remarks on rape and abortion are the latest flash point on the highly sensitive issue. In August, U.S. Rep. Todd Akin of Missouri – also running for Senate – ignited a firestorm when he said "legitimate rape" rarely resulted in pregnancy.
Akin, who faced backlash from Democrats as well as from most of his own party, defiantly remained in the race, despite calls from GOP leaders, including Romney, to step aside.
And Rep. Joe Walsh, another tea party-backed Republican running for Senate in Illinois, questioned last week the necessity of allowing abortions if a mother's life is at risk, saying such an exemption to an abortion ban was simply a tool by pro-choice activists.
Speaking after a debate with his opponent, Walsh seemed to suggest medical advances made dangerous pregnancies rare.
"This is an issue that opponents of life throw out there to make us look unreasonable," Walsh said. "There's no such exception as life of the mother, and as far as health of the mother, same thing, with advances in science and technology. Health of the mother has been, has become a tool for abortions any time under any reason."

Where in the hell do these people come from?!? People seriously need to wake the fuck up and take their asses to the polls and vote against these maniacs!!! Why would any woman vote Republican this year?!? Why?!?

This is why I'm for the death penalty!!!

2012-10-13T19:26:00.003-04:00

I am now and I have always been a staunch supporter of the death penalty. Anyone that reads my blog on a regular basis would know that. While I realize that mine isn't necessarily a popular position, I'm okay with the fact that most may not agree with me on this or any other topic. In this blog I always welcome another opinion. Of course, there was a time when I had doubts and misgivings regarding the use of capital punishment, particularly with it's application. There are people in this country that would be prone to convict a person of color, as opposed to someone that looks just like them. I got over those doubts and misgivings though years ago and I wouldn't be unhappy if we executed 30 people a month in every state in this nation for a year or two. At least that way we'd be sure to get some of the scumbags out of jail. I'm sick of my tax dollars being used to feed and care for the bastards!!!

When I see things like the story below. I have no doubt in my mind that capital punishment is absolutely the right way to go with these predators.

Police: 10-year-old Colorado girl missing for week is dead

By the CNN Wire Staff

A 10-year-old Colorado girl reported missing one week ago is dead, police said Friday, spurring a manhunt for the person who killed her.

Westminster Police Chief Lee Birk told reporters that a body found earlier this week "has been positively identified" as that of Jessica Ridgeway.

"Our focus has changed from a search for Jessica to a mission of justice for Jessica," Birk said.

Jessica was last seen by her mother as she left for school October 5. Authorities then issued a statewide Amber Alert for the girl.

On Sunday, a man in a subdivision in Superior discovered Jessica's backpack outside his house about 7 miles from the girl's hometown of Westminster, said Westminster Police Investigator Trevor Materasso. Both towns are along the Denver-Boulder Turnpike.

A body -- which was "not intact," according to police -- was found Wednesday at a park in Arvada, a Denver suburb just five miles from Westminster. The body was identified Friday as that of Jessica.

With that news, Birk acknowledged that authorities "recognize that there is a predator at large in our community."

"We are doing everything within our power to apprehend that individual," he said.

Hundreds of volunteers had searched fields and streets, posted fliers and canvassed neighborhoods since news broke of the girl's disappearance. Hundreds of local, state and federal law enforcement officers have also been working the case, according to Birk.

As of Friday, authorities had searched more than 500 homes and 1,000 vehicles, responded to more than 1,500 tips and "covered thoroughly more than 800 leads," said Jim Yacone, special agent in charge of the FBI's Denver office.

"Open space and water searches by both law enforcement, the Westminster Fire Department and many hundreds of volunteers have been extensive, and they will continue," Yacone told
reporters Friday.

Anyone that would want to harm or have sex with a child is a deviant in my mind. I can think of no reason to allow someone like that to walk around free and clear in an open society like ours. While hanging and castration might be too good for them....I'd say that they deserve at least that; and not necessarily in that order either.

The way I see it, I don't care if you're a famous child molester or the strange, bug eyed, sweaty guy that lives next door....all of you should die. Whether you're a bishop, priest, minister, daycare worker, teacher, football coach, sheriff or a pastor that goes by the name Eddie "doo doo on his schlong" Long....I believe that you should permanently lose your walking around rights. Anyone that enjoys having sex with underage boys and girls needs to take an extended dirt nap.

I'm tired of seeing these people paraded before cameras. Whenever a society allows the least of us to be repeatedly victimized, then society has failed. These scumbags don't deserve a second chance.

As far as I'm concerned, electrocution and lethal injection are too good for child molesters. Child molesters should be hung. Hanging is the most cost effective choice. A good rope can be used again and again and again and again and again!!!!

Hang 'em all I say, God will send the righteous to heaven!!!

Decision 2012

2012-09-23T19:05:00.000-04:00

In the not too distant future, tens of millions of my fellow Americans and I will make our way to the voting booth to either re-elect President Barack Hussein Obama or elect former Massachusetts Governor Willard Mitt Romney,

President of the United States of America.

I consider myself to be fairly conservative. I believe our government should be fiscally responsible. I am a strong supporter of our military and a strong proponent for capital punishment. I believe that most wars are unnecessary. I believe that a strong modern military is a deterrent to war. I believe that its patriotic to pay our taxes and that while we should limit the amount of government sponsored transitional assistance programs; I see no reason why we shouldn't take better care of our elderly citizens and our disabled veterans. I don't believe that any American corporation should receive tax cuts if they export American jobs or have more foreign employees, than American. I believe that all Americans should have access to health care. I believe in the fundamental right of all Americans to own guns. I just don't believe that anyone except our military or police or security personnel should own automatic weapons or handguns. I believe that ALL Americans should enjoy the same rights and privileges.

Over the years my views on politics have slowly evolved. However, deep down inside I'm that same guy that voted for the very first time in 1984. That year I went to the polls in order to vote against a very popular president.

Years later when I lived in the New Orleans, Louisiana metropolitan area the governor's name was Edwin Edwards. He was a Democrat and what I would call a consummate sleazebag politician. After he left the governor's mansion, he spent quite a few years in federal custody for racketeering. He was no angel. However, when he ran against former Klansman David Duke for governor, I found that I had no choice but to vote for the man. Sadly, often when I've voted in an election, I find myself not necessarily voting for a candidate, but for the lesser of two evils. But I will give Edwin Edwards this, he was one funny son of a bitch.

These are just a few quotes credited to Governor Edwards:

"The only way I can lose is if I'm caught in bed with either a dead girl or a live boy."

"I never speak ill of dead people or live judges."
"I did not do anything wrong as a governor, even if you accept the verdict as it is, it doesn't indicate that."
"I will be a model prisoner, as I have been a model citizen."

Dude was funny.

While in the past on a fairly regular basis I've had to vote against one candidate, rather than for one; I don't have to do that this time. This time I will go to the polls to vote for President Obama. I can't say that I have always agreed with the choices that the president has made or even the way in which he's gone about leading. But all in all, I think he's done a pretty good job as president.

....besides, I just can't vote for anyone named Mitt.

Truth be told, I'm not part of that 47% that doesn't pay taxes that Romney's just not concerned about. I'm part of the other 53% that actually does pay taxes. But I just don't feel the same way about that other 47% as Romney does. As far as I'm concerned, Mitt is a goddamned fool for even talking about what he sees as that reality. Perhaps he doesn't realize that when you're running for president you need every single vote that you can get; and that you're not supposed to try and alienate anyone from voting for you.

Given the supersized shit sandwich that Barack Obama was served the day he took office, without the benefit of cheese or ketchup mind you, I'd say he's done a pretty fair job as president.

He's gotten us out of the war in Iraq and I have every hope that he will get us out of the war in Afghanistan in a second term. He successfully passed health care reform. President Obama enacted legislation to control Wall Street excesses. The stimulus package he passed may have kept our country out of another depression. Our president acted to save the American automobile industry and the millions of jobs that support it, both internally and externally. He expanded Pell grant spending. Our president increased federal spending for veterans. He ushered through Congress various changes that enhanced civil rights and anti-discrimination laws. There has been steady job growth since he's taken office. He reversed torture policies and greatly improved our image abroad. President Obama took a realistic common sense approach to defense and the so called war on terror. He repealed "don't ask, don't tell" and he ordered the elimination of Osama Bin Laden. He expanded stem cell research and trade agreements around the world. He's also NOT done something that our last few presidents failed to do and that is to stay AWAY from embarrassing scandals.......and he hasn't looked like a complete fucking imbecile like our last president.

While I have voted in every major election since I turned 18, I realize that everyone isn't me. For whatever reason everyone doesn't seem to be interested in the political process. I take my civic duty seriously and I believe that everyone that is eligible to vote, should do so. I don't expect everyone to agree with me. I realize that I am a product of my upbringing and the environment that I was exposed to. However, I am forever perplexed as to why poor white trash in it's millions shows up consistently to vote Republican. Republican policies don't favor the poor; and yet, they show up early, unwashed, shoeless, toothless, uninsured, uneducated and determined to vote. They have more in common with inner city people, than they do with Mitt Romney or Paul Ryan or even that blowhard Rush Limbaugh; yet they vote Republican anyway. In a logical world, socioeconomic status should supercede race.....one would think anyway.

Whether someone agrees with my politics or not, I believe that all Americans should vote.

Oh and one more thing; here's a message for all you slow, backwards assed, shallow minded, toothless, inbred, dullard, racist, take a bath once a week whether you need one or not tea bagger types.

Slingblade and a couple of fatties

2012-09-16T15:03:00.001-04:00

Yesterday evening during halftime of a college football game; I ran into a grocery store in search of something that had been on my mind for most of the day, sourdough bread. I made a beeline for the deli. There were two couples waiting ahead of me in line. Since it was a short line, fortunately I didn't have to wait long. I didn't want to miss the second half kickoff of the game I was watching. The first couple were an older Caucasian man who kinda looked like that guy in Slingblade and a young attractive African American woman, who was probably young enough to be his daughter.

These two actually reminded me of another older man, younger woman couple that I saw downtown a couple of years back, except that particular young woman was Caucasian. I'm thinking it's the same guy though because I remember him looking like Carl from Slingblade too. As a matter of fact, I'm sure it's the same guy.

He looked to be slow witted, a veritable dullard. But I could tell by the way he communicated with the lady behind the counter that he was a very intelligent man. As always, looks can be deceiving. Those two were picking up some kind of specialty cake. She was all over him like a crackhead on a crackpipe. I had a hard time seeing where he stopped and she began.

Whenever I see an older man with a younger woman I always assume one of two things; first it's his daughter or second.....dude must have money. Maybe that's not fair, but I've seen that reality time and time again.

Whether or not I was wrong for thinking like that, it turns out that I was right. When I was finally leaving the grocery store I did happen to see the older gentleman open the door of a brand new shiny candy apple red Porsche for that young sister. Of course relationships like this are the way of the world. Older men with money will look for women young enough to be their daughters; and it's not like older women with money don't do the same thing too. It is what it is.

The second couple in line ahead of me at the deli counter were to put it bluntly, enormous. They had surpassed fat a long time ago. Enormous was probably the best term to describe them. Together they must have weighed about eight or nine hundred pounds. Truth be told, they were pretty damned huge. I do not believe for a second that they were capable of having intercourse.

Now I like to think that I don't hate on fat people; after all, a third of all Americans are fat. One day maybe I'll be fat too?!?

Now once a couple of years back, I wrote a post in this blog about a couple of experiences that I had while seated next to a couple of overweight women at restaurants, here in Charleston and in Atlanta. As a matter of fact, here's the link...

http://reggiesblogspotrantings.blogspot.com/2011/01/morbidly-obese.html.

At that time, one of my regular readers took offense to what I had written and accused me of just basically overreacting to them because they were fat. She had admitted herself to being overweight and she felt that people judged her continuously due to her size. Of course, I'd like to think that I didn't do that and I denied doing that at that time. But since then I've put a lot of thought into what she said, she could have been right.

Were all of these folks I talked about in the past and the two I saw yesterday fat and gluttonous?!? Well..............yes they were.

But maybe I was overreacting to what I saw? Anything is possible and I have no problem saying that I'm wrong from time to time. I'm scared of the person that's unwilling to admit that simple fact.

I must admit that when I see people that are morbidly obese, I do tend to have preconceived notions about them. I just assume they are prone not to exercise and that they lack self control and where I might be careful of the things that I'll eat, they'll just shove another piece of cake in their piehole at the drop of a hat and keep it moving. Maybe that is unfair; however, there are many times when that's true.

By the way, these two Goliaths actually bought the last three loaves of sourdough bread in the store and were patiently waiting for them to be sliced..........I didn't know that until I got to the counter myself. When I asked for sourdough bread, the lady behind the counter smirked and told me that "the heavy couple" bought the last three loaves.

I didn't even order any other kind of bread, I just took my hungry ass home.

Look I just wanted some sourdough bread, even though I really didn't need it. For dietary reasons, I really should have been eating wheat bread anyway. It's not like I couldn't live without it, it's just not that serious. But at the time, I really wanted that bread. Would it really have hurt for those two big collard green eating folks to have just gotten two loaves of bread, rather than three and isn't that just one of the many things wrong in this country now? More of us could stand to exercise and eat right on a regular basis.............and not buy the last three loaves of sourdough bread. I really wanted that bread too. My mouth was all ready for it, but ultimately I was shit outta luck.

Side effects may vary............

2012-09-08T00:02:00.000-04:00

I was watching a football game earlier this week when a commercial for some no name miracle drug came on during halftime. And, of course, after the commercial sang the praises of this "miracle drug" for a couple of minutes, the last thirty seconds of the commercial were spent disclosing the possible side effects. Truth be told, the side effects of many of these drugs leave me scared shitless.

Prednisone is used alone or with other medications to treat the symptoms of low corticosteroid levels. Low Corticosteroid levels are the lack of certain substances that are usually produced by the body and are needed for normal body function. Prednisone is also used to treat other conditions in patients with normal corticosteroid levels. These conditions include certain types of arthritis; severe allergic reactions; multiple sclerosis (a disease in which the nerves do not function properly); lupus (a disease in which the body attacks many of its own organs); and certain conditions that affect the lungs, skin, eyes, kidneys blood, thyroid, stomach, and intestines. Prednisone is also sometimes used to treat the symptoms of certain types of cancer. Prednisone is in a class of medications called corticosteroids. It works to treat patients with low levels of corticosteroids by replacing steroids that are normally produced naturally by the body. It works to treat other conditions by reducing swelling and redness and by changing the way the immune system works.

Of course, there are side effects, for instance:

Headache

Dizziness

Difficulty falling asleep or staying asleep

Inappropriate happiness

Extreme changes in mood

Changes in personality

Bulging eyes

Acne

Thin, fragile skin

Red or purple blotches or lines under the skin

Slowed healing of cuts and bruises

Increased hair growth....and not necessarily where you'd like it

Changes in the way fat is spread around the body

Extreme tiredness

Weak muscles

Irregular or absent menstrual periods

Heartburn

Increased sweating

and......

Decreased sexual desire

Prozac is used to treat depression, obsessive-compulsive disorder (bothersome thoughts that won't go away and the need to perform certain actions over and over), some eating disorders, and panic attacks (sudden, unexpected attacks of extreme fear and worry about these attacks). Prozac is also used to relieve the symptoms of premenstrual dysphoric disorder, including mood swings, irritability, bloating, and breast tenderness. Prozac is in a class of medications called selective serotonin reuptake inhibitors (SSRIs). It works by increasing the amount of serotonin, a natural substance in the brain that helps maintain mental balance.

Of course, there are side effects; and yes, in case you were wondering, they do vary:

Insomnia

Nausea

Weakness

Headache

Diarrhea

Loss of appetite

Drowsiness

Anxiety

Nervousness

Shakiness (tremor)

Dry mouth

Decreased sex drive

Yawning

Indigestion

Dizziness

Flushing (redness of the skin, especially the face)

Abnormal dreams

Gas

Constipation

Vomiting

Fever or chills

Weight loss

Chest pain

High blood pressure

Increased appetite and weight gain

Taste changes

Vision changes

Sweating
and

Impotence and Ejaculation problems

Lipitor is used along with diet, exercise, and weight loss to reduce the risk of heart attack and stroke and to decrease the chance that heart surgery will be needed in people who have heart disease or who are at risk of developing heart disease. Lipitor is also used to decrease the amount of cholesterol (a fat-like substance) and other fatty substances in the blood. Lipitor is in a class of medications called HMG-CoA reductase inhibitors (statins). It works by slowing the production of cholesterol in the body to decrease the amount of cholesterol that may build up on the walls of the arteries and block blood flow to the heart, brain, and other parts of the body.

Of course, there are side effects; and yes, they do vary:

Headache

Infections

Muscle pain

Diarrhea

Joint pain

Inflammation of the sinuses

Accidental injury (?!?)

Unexplained rash

Abdominal pain

General feelings of weakness

The flu

Back pain

Allergic reaction

Constipation

Sore throat

Lack of appetite

Intestinal ulcer

Hepatitis

Asthma

Bloody nose

Depression

Memory loss

Hair loss

Ringing of the ears (tinnitus)

Fainting (syncope)

Hearing loss

High blood pressure

Weight gain

Gout

and last but not least....

Erectile dysfunction (impotence)

Viagra is used to treat erectile dysfunction (impotence; inability to get or keep an erection) in men. Viagra is in a class of medications called phosphodiesterase (PDE) inhibitors. Viagra treats erectile dysfunction by increasing blood flow to the penis during sexual stimulation. This increased blood flow can cause an erection. Viagra treats PAH (pulmonary arterial hypertension or high blood pressure in the vessels carrying blood to the lungs, causing shortness of breath, dizziness, and tiredness) by relaxing the blood vessels in the lungs to allow blood to flow easily.

If you are taking Viagra to treat erectile dysfunction, you should know that it does not cure erectile dysfunction or increase sexual desire. Viagra also does not prevent pregnancy or the spread of sexually transmitted diseases such as human immunodeficiency virus (HIV).

Of course, once again, there are side effects; and yes, they do vary:

Headaches

Facial flushing

Indigestion, known as dyspepsia

Nasal congestion

Urinary tract infections

Vision problems, including trouble telling the difference between blue and green, increased sensitivity to light, or blurred vision

Dizziness

Unexplained rash

Respiratory tract infections

Back pain

Flu-like symptoms

Joint pain
Diarrhea commonly referred to as...
Wild bowels

Of course, the absolute worst side effect of Viagra by far is something called Priapism. Priapism is a potentially painful medical condition, in which the erect penis does not return to its flaccid state, despite the absence of both physical and psychological stimulation, within four hours. There are two types of priapism: low-flow and high-flow; 80% to 90% of clinically presented priapisms are low flow disorders. Low-flow involves the blood not adequately returning to the body from the organ. High-flow involves a short-circuit of the vascular system partway along the organ. Treatment is different for each type. Priapism is considered a 'frickin medical emergency, which should receive immediate and proper treatment by a qualified medical practitioner. Early treatment can be beneficial for a functional recovery. The duration of a normal erection before it is classifiable as priapism is still controversial. Ongoing penile erections for more than 6 hours can be classified as priapism.

Six hours?!? Serious?!? I mean c'mon!!! I think after 5 or 6 hours I'd explode!!!

I wonder when I see these commercials if sometimes the seriousness of the side effects, don't outweigh the benefits of some of these drugs.

By any chance have you or any of your loved ones or acquaintances ever experienced issues with taking a "miracle drug"?!?

And no, I'm not a doctor........I found all this detail about these drugs online.

If the drug I'm taking is going to give me the flaming shits or a woody that lasts for 4, 5 or 6 hours, then I think I'll take the zero.

I'm sorry, WTF did you say?!?

2012-08-25T17:12:00.004-04:00

Have you ever overheard something that you know you weren't supposed to hear?!? Something that you didn't want to hear?!? Maybe it's something as personal as an argument between two lovers or someone making a doctor's appointment for something VERY personal. Or something as serious as a death threat or the admission of a crime?!?

Well, a couple of days ago I overheard something that I know that I wasn't supposed to hear. Something that someone that I've known for quite some time could have kept to themselves. Because to be honest, I really didn't want to know what I heard.

Shit to be honest, I wish I could un-hear it. Because what they said took me completely by surprise. I wouldn't have thought those words would have come out of their mouth in a million years.

While walking by someone I know and have known for years, I clearly overheard them tell someone on the other end of their cellphone that they were living proof that praying the gay away works. I almost walked through a glass door when I heard them say that.

Now every time I see this person, I'm gonna have to think about this bullshit. Because that's what it is, bullshit. I don't believe that it's possible for someone to pray away their sexuality. I mean......I honestly don't know what to say about this other than.....Wow!!! It did cause me to sit back and think for the rest of the day though.

How does one pray their desires away?!? I mean, I can see someone attempting to suppress their desires or strive to be celibate. But pray away what you've always been since the day you were born?!? If I was gay and someone talked about praying the gay away, I believe I'd be offended. As if there is something wrong with being gay.

I've come a long way in my thinking around the subject of sexuality. I haven't always had a mature forward thinking attitude about it. I can clearly remember hearing hateful, stupid things come out of my mouth when I wore a younger man's clothes. At this point in my life, I like to think that I become a better person everyday and that with age comes wisdom. Thankfully, I'm not the person that I used to be.

To be honest, I wish that I could "un-hear" the shit I heard. Have you ever heard something that you wished you hadn't heard and do you honestly believe that ANYONE can actually pray the gay away?!?

I mean...............really?!?

"Legitimate rape" rarely results in pregnancy?!? WTF?!?

2012-08-20T07:16:00.002-04:00

I have a conservative friend that I work with who calls me a "part time conservative and weekend liberal". He calls me that because he says I don't show any consistent loyalty towards either party.

I think that only insane people and dullards agree with every single tenet of a party's platform. I favor the death penalty and I'm a staunch supporter of our military. Although I don't like the idea of affirmative action, I understand why white men thought that it was a good idea to enact it.....they would know. I think all Americans should have the right to own weapons; however, I think that only the police and military should have access to handguns and automatic weapons. I'm pretty much anti-union for the most part and I believe that spending across the board, including military spending, should be cut by our government. Anyone who knows me knows that I don't believe in the trickle down theory of economics. I believe that given the current state of our economy that we shouldn't be cutting taxes for the wealthiest Americans and for all of these companies that are outsourcing American jobs anyway. I think we need to focus on paying off our debt as a nation. I think that paying taxes is patriotic. I believe that not only should we cut military spending, but we should bring most of the Americans troops deployed around the world home to shore up our borders and give a financial boost to those local economies. I don't see a problem with gay marriage. I also don't understand why anyone would want to discriminate against homosexuals and I really don't understand why anyone would want to deny them an opportunity to serve in our military.

I rarely talk about politics in this blog though, since I realize most people are bored to tears with it or they'll say they don't have an opinion about it. Now that the election is almost upon us though, I will probably talk about it more.

However, when I see shit like the article below....that I jacked from CNN's website, I am truly dumbfounded. This doesn't necessarily have to be about politics, it should be classified under common sense. Clearly this man's ignorance knows no bounds.

(CNN) – U.S. Rep. Todd Akin, who won Missouri's GOP Senate primary earlier this month and will face incumbent Democratic Sen. Claire McCaskill in November's general election, said Sunday that he misspoke when he claimed "legitimate rape" rarely resulted in pregnancy.

Answering a question about whether or not he thought abortion should be legal in the case of rape, Akin explained his opposition by citing unnamed bodily responses he said prevented pregnancy.

"First of all, from what I understand from doctors, that's really rare," Akin said of rape-induced pregnancy in an interview with KTVI. A clip of the interview was posted online by the liberal super PAC American Bridge.

"If it's a legitimate rape, the female body has ways to try to shut that whole thing down," Akin continued. He did not provide an explanation for what constituted "legitimate rape."

He added: "But let's assume that maybe that didn't work or something. You know I think there should be some punishment, but the punishment ought to be on the rapist and not attacking the child."

In a statement Sunday, Akin wrote that he misspoke in the interview. He maintained his opposition to abortion for victims of rape.

"In reviewing my off-the-cuff remarks, it's clear that I misspoke in this interview and it does not reflect the deep empathy I hold for the thousands of women who are raped and abused every year," Akin wrote. "Those who perpetrate these crimes are the lowest of the low in our society and their victims will have no stronger advocate in the Senate to help ensure they have the justice they deserve."

"I recognize that abortion, and particularly in the case of rape, is a very emotionally charged issue," Akin continued. "But I believe deeply in the protection of all life and I do not believe that harming another innocent victim is the right course of action. I also recognize that there are those who, like my opponent, support abortion and I understand I may not have their support in this election."

Statistics on pregnancies that result from rape are difficult to produce, since rape is a crime that often goes unreported. The Rape, Abuse & Incest National Network, along with Planned Parenthood, each estimate that 5% of rapes lead to pregnancy. A 1996 study from the Medical University of South Carolina found the same percentage, adding that 32,101 pregnancies occurred annually from rape.

Akin, a six-term U.S. congressman, touted his socially conservative values on the primary campaign trail, and gained the support of 2008 presidential candidate and former Arkansas Gov. Mike Huckabee. He was one of the first members of Congress to join the Tea Party Caucus in 2010 and has easily won re-election in recent years.

The lawmaker raised a notable $2.2 million this cycle, as of July 18.

Akin - who sits on the House Science, Space and Technology Committee - has long held a hard-line stance on abortion. He is opposed to abortions in all circumstances, and has said he also opposes the morning after pill, which he equates to abortion.

A spokeswoman for Mitt Romney wrote that the presumptive GOP presidential nominee and his running mate, U.S. Rep. Paul Ryan of Wisconsin, did not share Akin's sentiments on rape.
"Governor Romney and Congressman Ryan disagree with Mr. Akin's statement, and a Romney-Ryan administration would not oppose abortion in instances of rape," Romney campaign spokeswoman Amanda Henneberg wrote.

CNN's Ashley Killough, Kevin Liptak and Rachel Streitfeld contributed to this report.

This moron is referencing a "legitimate rape"....what is an illegitimate rape?!? This is what's running for public office on the right these days. It's kinda scary that someone as old as he is really believes this shit.

Excusing Domestic Violence

2012-08-16T21:43:00.001-04:00

I believe that no man should EVER hit a woman. I truly believe that; what's more, I've ALWAYS believed that. I have never struck a woman in anger in my life and I won't ever do it either. I've always thought that when a man strikes his love interest, it's a sign of weakness in that man, a serious character flaw.

I would think that all women would be up in arms whenever a case of domestic violence is portrayed in the media, especially when it's done by a celebrity. However, for whatever reason, I've noticed that there are plenty of women out there that seem to want to either excuse or "understand" how a man might be driven to give his love interest a serious beatdown. As if there could be a logical reason why a man would go "ham" on his love interest.

The way I see it, there is NEVER a reason for a man to hit a woman.....NEVER!!!!

Would anyone care to either share a story of domestic violence in this forum or explain just why it might be acceptable in some cases?!?

Hate is as American as apple pie!!!

2012-08-11T14:58:00.003-04:00

When are we gonna just go ahead and acknowledge that hate is as American as apple pie?!?

Is it just me or does it seem that hate is everywhere?!?

It seems to me that most of America hates somebody. Maybe that's why violence is so prevalent in our society?!?

Maybe that's why there is a love affair with guns and all kinds of other weapons in this country; and maybe that's why we're no longer shocked by the extreme level of violence that goes on here on a fairly regular basis?!?

There are perfectly good reasons to hate people. But I refuse to hate anyone based on their race, gender, religious preferences or sexual orientation. How does one hate someone they've never actually met before?!? What about the tens of milions of people that hate other people simply because they don't like who they choose to love?!? What kind of insanity is that?!? Why would someone care what goes on in someone else's home?!? Isn't being an American supposed to be about choice?!?

I know that there are millions of Americans out there that hate me and people that look like me simply because of my permanent suntan. Many others out there that look like me, hate millions of other Americans simply because they don't look like them. Oh and this isn't just a black and white issue, it's everyone else as well. Every race in this country is just as guilty as the next.

There are millions of people in this country that despise other Americans because they don't worship the same God or share the same religious beliefs. They call themselves good Christians or whatever religion they worship, yet their hearts are filled with hate.

It's not just Americans, it's all over the world. Whether you're talking about Jews and Arabs or Indians and Pakastanis or Chinese and Japanese or the English and the Irish.

Maybe hate is entrenched in our DNA?!? Even though hate goes on around the world, sometimes I get the feeling that it's been perfected here in America. I, for one, refuse to hate other people.

If you promise not to hate me, I'd promise not to hate you. However, if you chose to hate me, I still wouldn't hate you. Hate takes too much effort; and I for one am not interested in making that effort.

What I do know is that someone is teaching their children to hate other people. If that weren't so, then there wouldn't be so much hate here in the first place.

Are you an animal lover?!?

2012-08-04T20:15:00.001-04:00

I've come to the conclusion that there are three types of people in this world. There are dog lovers. There are cat lovers.

And then, of course, there are people like me that prefer their animals with salt and pepper.

Most of the people out there that love dogs and have their own; probably love their dog more than they love most people.

There are approximately 78.2 million owned dogs in the United States

Thirty-nine percent of U.S. households own at least one dog

Most owners (60 percent) own one dog

Twenty-eight percent of owners own two dogs

Twelve percent of owners own three or more dogs

On average, owners have almost two dogs (1.69 percent)

The proportion of male to female dogs is even

Twenty-one percent of owned dogs were adopted from an animal shelter

On average, dog owners spent $248 on veterinary visits (vaccine, well visits) annually

Seventy-eight percent of owned dogs are spayed or neutered

Of course these aren't the only dogs in this country, these statistics are only for those that are owned and not wild. Oh we've got plenty of dogs out there living by their own wits and not owned by any one's son or daughter.

Believe it or not, I actually married a cat lover. She's been known to feed any stray cat she sees. I don't think that she's ever met a cat that she didn't like.

There are approximately 86.4 million owned cats in the United States

Thirty-three percent of U.S. households own at least one cat

Fifty-two percent of owners own more than one cat

On average, owners have two cats (2.2)

More female cats are owned than male cats (80 percent vs. 65 percent respectively)

Twenty-one percent of owned cats were adopted from an animal shelter

Cat owners spent an average of $219 on routine veterinary visits

Eighty-eight percent of owned cats are spayed or neutered

Oh wait a minute.............full disclosure on all these statistics which are about a year old now.
I didn't actually pull these statistics out of my ass. I found all of this information on The Humane Society's website.

Although I wouldn't call myself an animal lover, I don't understand the type of person that goes out of their way to harm a defenseless animal. There's a word for people like that..........and a special place in hell for them too.

So how exactly would you describe yourself?!? Are you a dog or cat lover?!? Or do you prefer your animals with salt and pepper like me?!?