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Hope to see you there!

I find that I rarely say thank you. It’s one of my great failings in life. I meant to call and say how wonderful it was to meet and spend time with you. But time passed. As time is meant to do. And then calling became awkward. But today I stumbled on the email with the poem you wrote using my words – and I felt compelled to reach out. So let me say publicly how grateful I am for the short time we spent together. Your never ending questions helped me to deeply examine my life – my choices, beliefs and convictions.

The conversation we shared at The Dushanbe Tea House, walking down Pearl St., over truffles at Piece, Love & Chocolate – and then over dinner at Aji was in a word remarkable. Open. Deep. Intimate. Vulnerable. Honest.

I forgot how easy it can be to laugh, to play, to stumble into the world of another – to crash a Philosophy meetup – to disrupt someone’s comfort zone – to penetrate beyond small talk – to be seen and heard.

That’s what’s wrong with the world today. We don’t take the time to fully see, hear and appreciate the people around us. So most people go through life feeling unfulfilled, under-appreciated, unimportant, unseen, lacking and alone. But the truth is – we’re all in it together. We need to remember that. We need to take the time to see one another. Not just on the surface – but to really see. To look closely and deeply into the eyes, hearts and minds of those with whom we share our days.

Thank you for being you.

With Deepest Thanks,
-E

In Buddhism there are guidelines called precepts. Unlike The Ten Commandments, precepts are not hard and fast rules for living, they are a code of ethics that lay practitioners can choose to follow as part of their practice.

My #ThemeWord for 2012 is PRACTICE. And I’ve chosen to incorporate the precepts as part of my practice going forward.

The Ten Grave Precepts

(With Commentaries by Bodhidharma and Dogen Zenji)

1. Not Killing. Bodhidharma: Self-nature is subtle and mysterious. In the realm of the everlasting Dharma, not giving rise to the ideal of killing is called the Precept of Not Killing. Dogen Zenji: The Buddha seed grows in accordance with not taking life. Transmit the life of Buddha’s wisdom and do not kill.

2. Not Stealing. Bodhidharma: Self-nature is subtle and mysterious. In the realm of the unattainable Dharma, not having thoughts of gaining is called the Precept of Not Stealing. Dogen Zenji: The self and things of the world are just as they are. The gate of emancipation is open.

3. Not Misusing Sex. Bodhidharma: Self-nature is subtle and mysterious. In the realm of the ungilded Dharma, not creating a veneer of attachment is called the Precept of Not Misusing Sex. Dogen Zenji: The Three Wheels are pure and clear. When you have nothing to desire, you follow the way of all Buddhas.

4. Not Lying. Bodhidharma: Self-nature is subtle and mysterious. In the realm of the inexplicable Dharma, not preaching a single word is called the Precept of Not Lying. Dogen Zenji: The Dharma Wheel turns from the beginning. There is neither surplus nor lack. The whole universe is moistened with nectar, and the truth is ready to harvest.

5. Not Giving or Taking Drugs. Bodhidharma: Self-nature is subtle and mysterious. In the realm of the intrinsically pure Dharma, not giving rise to delusions is called the Precept of Not Giving or Taking Drugs. Dogen Zenji: Drugs are not brought in yet. Don’t let them invade. That is the great light.

6. Not Discussing Faults of Others. Bodhidharma: Self-nature is subtle and mysterious. In the realm of the flawless Dharma, nor expounding upon error is called the Precept of Not Speaking of Faults of Others. Dogen Zenji: In the Buddha Dharma, there is one path, one Dharma, one realization, one practice. Don’t permit fault-finding. Don’t permit haphazard talk.

7. Not Praising Yourself While Abusing Others. Bodhidharma: Self-nature is subtle and mysterious. In the realm of the equitable Dharma, not dwelling upon I against you is called the Precept of Not Praising Yourself while Abusing Others. Dogen Zenji: Buddhas and Ancestral Teachers realize the empty sky and the great earth. When they manifest the noble body, there is neither inside nor outside in emptiness. When they manifest the Dharma body, there is not even a bit of earth on the ground.

8. Not Sparing the Dharma Assets. Bodhidharma. Self-nature is subtle and mysterious. In the genuine, all-pervading Dharma, not being stingy about a single thing is called the Precept of Not Sparing the Dharma Assets. Dogen Zenji: One phrase, one verse–that is the ten thousand things and one hundred grasses; one dharma, one realization–that is all Buddhas and Ancestral Teachers. Therefore, from the beginning, there has been no stinginess at all.

9. Not Indulging in Anger. Bodhidharma: Self-nature is subtle and mysterious. In the realm of the selfless Dharma, not contriving reality for the self is called the Precept of Not Indulging in Anger. Dogen Zenji: Not advancing, not retreating, not real, not empty. There is an ocean of bright clouds. There is an ocean of solemn clouds.

10. Not Defaming the Three Treasures. Bodhidharma: Self-nature is subtle and mysterious. In the realm of the One, nor holding nihilistic concepts of ordinary beings and sages is called the Precept of Not Defaming the Three Treasures. Dogen Zenji: The teisho of the actual body is the harbour and the weir. This is the most important thing in the world. Its virtue finds its home in the ocean of essential nature. It is beyond explanation. We just accept it with respect and gratitude.

Everything within the precepts is framed by the belief in doing no harm. So the question we ask when making a decision is “will this decision or action cause harm to myself or others?”. If the answer is yes, then the course of action is clear. But there will be situations where the answer is not clear. At least not for a lay practitioner like me. For example, I once asked my teacher what to do about the ants in the garden.

Me: “I have a question about Ants. There are Ants in my garden, but if I’m to do no harm…how do I remove the ants?”

Maezen: “Depends how long you can live w/ants. Ants belong in a garden. Just don’t confuse theory w/ practice. Theory confuses, practice doesn’t.”

A very Zen answer. The ants stayed. But if it had been termites or rats in my home…I’m sure I would have chosen differently. It’s all practice, my commitment is to do my best on any given day.

One way I’ve chosen to very easily live within the precepts was by becoming a practicing vegetarian. I started by giving up red meat, then chicken. For months I was a pescatarian (only eating fish), and finally 3 months ago I gave up fish as well. The transition was much easier than I expected. Now I’m working to find ways to incorporate more protein into my diet without eating meat.

One place where I struggle is with “Not Discussing The Faults of Others”. When I attended my first Sesshin (silent meditation retreat), I spent 9+ hours a day staring at a wall. You can learn a lot about yourself and how your mind works by staring at walls. What I discovered was that 85% of my thoughts were judgments and criticisms of myself and others. I am constantly judging. Constantly finding fault. I’d like to work on this, and so I’m committed to practicing more compassion for myself and others.

Renowned Buddhist Monk Thich Nath Hanh has taken the precepts and distilled them into what he calls the five mindfulness trainings. I love his phrasing and wanted to share them with you here.

The Five Mindfulness Trainings

(according to Thich Nath Hanh, www.plumvillage.org)

-First Training-

Aware of the suffering caused by the destruction of life, I am committed to cultivating compassion and learning ways to protect the lives of people, animals, plants, and minerals. I am determined not to kill, not to let others kill, and not to condone any act of killing in the world, in my thinking, and in my way of life.

-Second Training-

Aware of the suffering caused by exploitation, social injustice, stealing, and oppression, I am committed to cultivate loving kindness and learn ways to work for the well-being of people, animals, plants, and minerals. I am committed to practice generosity by sharing my time, energy, and material resources with those who are in real need. I am determined not to steal and not to possess anything that should belong to others. I will respect the property of others, but I will prevent others from profiting from human suffering or the suffering of other species on Earth.

-Third Training-

Aware of the suffering caused by sexual misconduct, I am committed to cultivate responsibility and learn ways to protect the safety and integrity of individuals, couples, families, and society. I am determined not to engage in sexual relations without love and a long-term commitment. To preserve the happiness of myself and others, I am determined to respect my commitments and the commitments of others. I will do everything in my power to protect children from sexual abuse and to prevent couples and families from being broken by sexual misconduct.

-Fourth Training-

Aware of the suffering caused by unmindful speech and the inability to listen to others, I am committed to cultivate loving speech and deep listening in order to bring joy and happiness to others and relieve others of their suffering. Knowing that words can create happiness or suffering, I am committed to learn to speak truthfully, with words that inspire self-confidence, joy, and hope. I am determined not to spread news that I do not know to be certain and not to criticize or condemn things of which I am not sure. I will refrain from uttering words that can cause division or discord, or that can cause the family or the community to break. I will make all efforts to reconcile and resolve all conflicts, however small.

-Fifth Training-

Aware of the suffering caused by unmindful consumption, I am committed to cultivate good health, both physical and mental, for myself, my family, and my society by practicing mindful eating, drinking, and consuming. I am committed to ingest only items that preserve peace, well-being, and joy in my body, in my consciousness, and in the collective body and consciousness of my family and society. I am determined not to use alcohol or any other intoxicant or to ingest foods or other items that contain toxins, such as certain TV programs, magazines, books, films, and conversations. I am aware that to damage my body or my consciousness with these poisons is to betray my ancestors, my parents, my society, and future generations. I will work to transform violence, fear, anger, and confusion in myself and in society by practicing a diet for myself and for society. I understand that a proper diet is crucial for self-transformation and for the transformation of society.

So that’s where I am – but this post is about where I hope to go. This post is about the power of intention.

Since 2007 it’s been my yearly tradition to pick a #ThemeWord. Two years ago, I also started picking a #ThemeColor & #ThemeSong all meant to encompass the year ahead. Last year my #ThemeWord was FORWARD. I wanted to move on with my life. I wasn’t sure what that meant – I just knew it was time to stop standing still. This year – I am ready to take that FORWARD motion deeper through PRACTICE. In fact, PRACTICE is my official 2012 #ThemeWord.

Why PRACTICE?

prac·tice/ˈpraktəs/

“My life is my practice.”

I’ve read so many great books over the last year, but two profoundly influenced my life and my work. It just so happens both were by Steven Pressfield. The first The War of Art taught me how to overcome creative resistance, and the second Do The Work gave me a roadmap for “getting to done”. In fact, I catch myself repeating “Do The Work” over and over again whenever I’m trying to finish a project or task. A silent mantra to overcome even the most stubborn resistance.

But in order to do the work, I must practice. And for me that means returning to the cushion again and again. This past year I’ve been an imperfect meditator. And that’s okay. But this year I’ve set a really BIG goal for myself. I intend to sit Zazen (my practice) every day for the next year. I even ordered a fancy new Zabuton and Zafu from Carolina Morning (They are seriously the best! Ask for Deborah). Sitting imperfectly I’ve seen a huge improvement in my ability to focus for longer and longer periods of time. This is inspiring!

I might fail at my BIG goal of practicing everyday- but that’s okay. That’s why it’s called PRACTICE. But I’m gonna try my best. And I’m gonna report back here every day to let you know how it’s going.

My teacher says “Every question in life is how. And every answer is do. And do and do.” It’s that simple.

#ThemeColor this year is GRAY. And my #ThemeSong (drumroll please) FOOTLOOSE! The Kenny Loggins version

I don’t have a lot of certainty in my life. I have friends that come and go, projects that start and end, relationships that blossom and fizzle. I never stay in one place for long. But for the last 5.5 years, there’s one thing that’s been a constant in my life – Netsquared. Surprised? I was too.

Tonight I sat at a wooden table in the Oak Room at Stag’s Head Pub, wearing a pink Santa Hat (thanks to @happykatie) and watching a slideshow of the last 6 years. So many friends, so many memories – so much that I want to hold on to forever.

I met Matthew Wettergreen for the first time at a Netsquared meeting…or maybe it was the first time I remembered meeting him. I fell in love with the Schipulites through those monthly meetings. Especially Ed, Katie, Jason, & Michael.

Through Netsquared I discovered that there is a whole world of people just like me – people who want to change the world and make it a better place. People whose motives go beyond just making a profit. I found people who spoke my language, who laughed at my corny jokes and who supported my dreams…even the crazy ones.

They are champions of the good. Each of them humble leaders who I am honored to call my friends. My family.

So here’s to Netsquared Houston – to all of you amazing and wonderful people who’ve made it possible throughout the years. I love you. I mean that. It’s the end of an era – but I’m hopeful for what’s to come.

And here’s to Grace & everyone at C2Creative for stepping up to help this organization live on. You have my full support. Let me know what I can do to help.

#resound11 Prompt 08: Catch Phrase

What’s your trademark phrase? Not sure? How about a quote or saying that you repeat often? Bonus points if it’s new for 2011, but we won’t be upset if it’s been around longer than that. Try to put it in context for us if it’s a little abstract.

Whoa.

How will you resound?

Life is in the questions. The questions we ask ourselves, the questions we ask others. This year I’ve asked a lot of questions about belief and about personal legacy. There is a quote I love from Nathaniel Branden who says: “Your Life Matters. Your Happiness Matters. Have the Courage to Fight For Them.” If I had a catch phrase – that would be it.

Looking towards 2012, my life is going to be orienting itself around a new question – If I found out that I only had 12 months to live, how would I spend my remaining days?

Like I said, the questions we ask matter.

#resound11 Prompt 07: Achievement Unlocked

What goal did you set for yourself and achieve this year? Did you achieve something you didn’t think you could? Did you win an award? Did you set a record? Did you finally get your VCR from 1985 to stop blinking 12:00? C’mon, share it! Today is your chance to brag and get a resounding round of interweb applause.

Congratulations! You did it!

How will you resound?

Honestly, these prompts are starting to make me feel woefully inadequate. This year wasn’t a total loss – I feel like I’ve grown up a lot…but in terms of achievement – I feel like I’ve missed the mark on most of my goals. That being said – I did make huge strides forward in terms of self-discipline and responsibility. I’m pretty sure that 2012 won’t know what hit it!

#resound11 Prompt 06: Thelma & Louise

Who is the Thelma to your Louise? Who is your partner in crime? Did you reacquaint yourself with an old friend? Did you make a new friend? Or, perhaps, you are a lone ranger?

Take some time today to look back on how you spent your year and give a shout out to anyone that helped to make it special. If you don’t have any close friends that fit the bill, think about who you spend your time with on a regular basis, who is the bright spot in your day? Maybe you joke around with a coworker just to get through the day. Maybe the barista who serves your coffee knows your order by heart and/or knows when to suggest you mix it up. Who makes your life just a little bit better just by being themselves?

How will you resound?

Because of my lifestyle – it’s hard to keep one person in my life. I don’t have a partner in crime. At least I haven’t had a partner in crime this past year. I’ve had lots of friends who have come and gone – all of whom I love and adore. But this next year, I get the feeling that things are gonna be different. I’m starting a new personal project with a friend. And I hope it comes to life. And I hope it brings meaning to the lives of others. I hope she’ll be my Thelma in 2012 because honestly it’s getting kinda lonely being me. I guess only time will tell.

#resound11 Prompt 05: Theme Song

Think about this past year. Is there a song that you’ve heard that has really struck a chord, one that has spoken to you? Maybe there’s a song that goes along with your one word for 2011. Maybe there is a song that you’ve heard that instantly cheers you up or makes you think of a special moment that happened this year?

If you can find a link to a video or snippet of the song or the lyrics, please share it and explain why this song is your theme song and how it relates to your 2011.

How will you resound?

Not a year goes by that I don’t pick a Life #Themesong to reflect my year. This past year my theme song was “All I Ever Wanted To Be” (which is also the theme song to my favorite show -  Being Erica).  My favorite part of the song:

“Karma is energy
Give me my destiny
Everything happens for a reason
Every choice that I make
Changes the course I take
Won’t be afraid when I make mistakes”

Sometimes you need license to make mistakes, because as much as it’s part of being human…mistakes still feel like failures. And we all know that failure must be avoided at all costs. Or not. Time to pick a new life #themesong for this year. Taking your suggestions below.