I first met Greg Decker of Azur Salon at a divine dinner party thrown by the lovely @cosmopolitician. Funny how chance meetings can completely change your life.

I mean - I’ve never had a better haircut in my life!

A little background on this cut and color - I gave Greg carte blanche to do whatever he would like to my hair. Truth is - I hadn’t had a haircut in nearly a year…

The Results - A-M-A-Z-I-N-G!!! (check out the videos below)

Part I

Part II

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When I first decided to go to BIL – I had no idea how much it would make me wish I’d been at TED.

BIL – which is more anarchistic stands for just about anything you’d like it to stand for. Originally it was – Booze, Intellectuals, and Learning…but it could just as easily be Beauty, Ideology, and Logic, or Brainstorming, Industry, and Love. The great thing about BIL is that everyone is invited and better yet – it’s FREE.

The problem with BIL is that everyone is invited and it’s FREE. Kind of a Catch-22 right?

So I decided to examine exactly what makes an elite conference like TED so remarkable? And why BIL – though an interesting and worthwhile event – left me wishing I’d been on the other side of the fence.

BIL took place in Monterey, California (just like TED) – and was a great gathering of the minds (just like TED) – and had some amazing speakers and some so-so speakers (just like TED). Unlike TED however – BIL wasn’t united around a single theme or focus. And this lack of focus meant that it was harder to find connections and “Aha” moments between the speakers. And “Aha” moments is exactly what TED is all about.

Sure TED boasts a healthy line-up of celebrities – and it’s great to say you sat next to Cameron Dias or Al Gore for 4 days at a conference. But the real value behind TED is something much greater – or it wouldn’t have endured this long and attracted such a wide, varied, and distinguished group of speakers and attendees.

So, what would make BIL more like TED?

1. Loose the Open Grid Concept. For me, BIL was a lesser version of a BarCamp. Why? Speakers were all over the place – with no real rhyme or reason. At a BarCamp, at least technology is a common theme. Alternately – if they keep the Open Grid – they should design tracks around specific categories or subjects to help facilitate those very important “Aha” moments.
2. More Great Speakers should be recruited ahead of time. I sat through nearly a dozen presentations throughout the course of 2 days – and not one of them – including former TED speakers Aubrey de Gray and Garrett Lisi stirred in me the emotions I was hoping to experience.
3. Once a speaker begins – the doors to that room should be shut and locked until the next speaker begins. People can feel free to leave with the understanding that they can’t return until the next speaker’s time slot begins. It’s very distracting, not to mention rude to have people coming and going throughout a presentation. BarCamp and other User Generated Conferences often employ “The Law of Two Feet” - which states that if an attendee doesn’t like a presentation – he should get up and move to another one. The problem is – if BIL ever wants to come even close to the experience of TED – then there has to be a higher standard.
4. More Bonding Activities. TEDsters spend 4 days together – with little to no free time. They eat together, watch presentations together, and attend after hours events together. They bond with one another – emotionally, intellectually, and spiritually. And at the end of those 4 days – they are exhausted, mentally drained, but inspired. And because they have bonded together – they can help keep that feeling of inspiration alive – and possibly take actions to make the world a better place.
5. Start with a Central Theme. This year’s TED revolved around 10 Questions – with each speaker answering one of the 10 Questions in their own way. The Theme doesn’t have to limit a speaker – but it should help them focus and help create connections between talks – and ultimate those “Aha” moments.

BIL was an experiment – and in my opinion a successful one. I’m proud to say that I attended the first ever BIL Conference – but I’m also hoping that next year we can take that experience to a whole new level.

What about TED?

My friend Seth called me out on something the other day. He said – “It really concerns me when you say things like – I’d go to TED, but I can’t afford it.’” Granted 6K dollars for a conference is a lot of money taken as a whole – but when you think about it – that’s only an extra $500.00 a month for 12 months.

Given what you know about TED – do you think it’s worth saving an extra $500.00 a month to attend? And if you were invited – would you go?

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I’m relaxing on a window seat overlooking Cannery Row in Monterey California. To my right there is a fire merrily crackling - and I hear laughter from the streets below and seagulls calling overhead. It’s hard to believe that this Cannery Row is the same Cannery Row that John Steinbeck immortalized in 1945.

I’ve spent a great deal of time thinking on this trip. I’ve heard a lot of ideas - and met a lot of people - and I think it will be some time before I can process it all. What I know for sure is that I live an amazingly lucky life. And I’m surrounded by people who are changing the world. I am inspired.

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TED is a little out of my price range - but BIL fits nicely in my budget (i.e. it’s FREE). Plus, I get to peak across the parking lot at all the “beautiful people” at TED. Seriously, if you are in the Monterey California area this weekend - stop by BIL - I’d love to meet you.

What is BIL? Booze, Intellectuals, & Learning

Where? Monterey California

When? March 1st & 2nd

Why? Because new traditions are cool too! Did I mention that we’ve got some TEDsters stopping by to speak at our event? Really - you shouldn’t miss this.

Oh - and if you are in the San Francisco area and need a ride out to Monterey - we’ve got one seat left in our caravan so send me an email or direct message on Twitter.

P.S. I’m so going to walk the Monterey Beach - thanks for the suggestion Loic! Feel free to join me if you’re in the area (hint hint @ericabiz).  Also check out who’s Twittering from TED: TEDsters Who Twitter

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The best way to get out of a block is to read good writing.

And to go to Northern California.

 

Check. And Check.

 

Sometimes life just works out.

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A couple years ago my friend Bryan created a site called Buzzword Hell. This was, naturally, where all good Buzzwords went to die. Only - they didn’t die. They went mainstream. And suddenly everyone was using terms like Web 2.0 and AJAX. And it didn’t matter that they had no idea what these words meant - using them just felt cool.

Each year at SXSWi there is a series called: “How to Bluff Your Way in _________”. In 2005 it was - “How to Bluff Your Way in CSS”, 2006 brought us “How to Bluff Your Way in Dom Scripting”, and by 2007 we were bluffing our way in Web 2.0.

The idea behind this series - is to learn just enough jargon about a particular topic to fool your friends and collegues at parties and social gatherings. And though it’s all meant in good fun - the sad truth is that’s what a lot of people are doing in Social Media today.

In the late 1990’s, Life Coaching became popular - and suddenly everyone was a Life Coach, Creativity Coach, Executive Coach, or Lifestyles Coach. Now don’t get me wrong - some of these “coaches” were amazingly effective at helping their clients achieve their goals. In fact, I had a “Life Coach” for several years - and am extremely grateful to her for helping me to become the person I am today.

However, not all Life Coaches were created equal. And a fair many of them were capitalizing on a fad. They figured out that “Coaching” was the latest fashion - and so they dressed themselves up with the latest jargon and buzzwords - and they found out that it worked! Suddenly they had paying clients - and were being billed as experts. And because “Perception is Reality” a lot of times - they got away with it. The trouble with wearing the latest fashion trends - is that sooner or later they are going to go out of style.

Unfortunately, I’ve seen the exact same trend with Social Media. And so has my friend Brian Solis - who posted a similar article today entitled “Get Rich Quick with Social Media“. 3 months ago - hardly anyone in my little neck of the woods had heard of Social Media - now there are “Social Media Gurus” popping up all over the place. And let’s not forget the “Blogging Coaches”, “Podcasting Coaches”, and even “Web 2.0 Gurus” <– YUCK!

I’ve been working in New Media for nearly 7 years and in web design for nearly 15 years. I started my first blog in 2001. I know a lot of the people who created the so-called “Web 2.0″ tools that are popular today - and I’ve private beta tested more applications than I can even begin to count. But guess what? I’m NOT a Social Media Guru. Not even close. And the truth is - I’m not sure I want to be.

The problem is - Social Media is NOT about technology or Web 2.0 applications. The first question a potential client usually asks me is “What is Social Media?”. Here’s the answer I always give.

Social Media is Word-of-Mouth or Community Based Marketing that leverages technology to enable conversation.

Let’s break that down.

First and foremost Social Media is Word-of-Mouth Marketing. This concept is by no means new. When my Grandma Opal was young - chances are she went to the same stores as her mother went to, used the same mechanic, bought her meat from the same butcher, and got her hair cut at the same beauty salon. Why? Because her mother recommended them - and what’s more - she already had an established relationship with them. Relationships mattered. People mattered.

Social Media also helps people to connect and create communities around, well, almost anything. Pick a topic, product, service,idea - or even an “object” - and you can use Social Media to create a living breathing community. Of course the health of that community is only as good as the people and ideas who make it up - but that’s another post all together.

Social Media Leverages Technology. Did you notice that I didn’t say Social Media IS Technology? Social Media uses the power of online tools and social networks to help people communicate. Period.

The Tools - the Technology. They only do one thing. They enable conversation. And conversations help build relationships between people. And Social Media is about relationships. People want to do business with people they trust. And people don’t trust strangers. So once again Relationships Matter. People Matter.

So if you want to participate in this new Social Media revolution. And you want to be more than just a fad. Then it’s time to find your own uniqueness, stop using jargon and buzzwords, and start being authentic. Maybe then you’ll become a classic.

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I’ve been trying to write this post for several days - but it’s difficult to put into words the impact of spending a full day with some of the “World’s Top Thinkers, Creators, and Innovators”.

February 7th I attended The Up Experience in Houston, Texas. So What’s Up? Think TED - only Hotter (I mean - come on…it is Houston).

Just take a look at the fabulous line up of speakers (taken from The Up Experience Website):

MALCOLM GLADWELL - Meet the renowned author of Blink and The Tipping Point. It’s been said that “Malcolm’s books are intellectual adventure stories.” Now, prepare to be entertained, challenged and dazzled as the best-selling author and writer for The New Yorker dishes up his latest insights, live and in-person.

STEVE WOZNIAK - He pioneered personal computing, changed the way we learn and imagines the technologies that shape our lives. But what’s he up to lately? The Silicon Valley pioneer, co-founder of Apple Computers, educator, author and entrepreneur shares his passions about Artificial Intelligence and Robotics.

LISA LING - She’s gone undercover and into war zones, shared tea with the Dalai Lama, ignited conversation on The View and has illuminated international issues involving women and children. And that’s just for starters. This seasoned world traveler, host of Explorer and global contributor on The Oprah Winfrey Show brings you the latest story from her world beat.

SIR KEN ROBINSON, Ph.D. - What’s the secret of living and functioning at your maximum level of creativity? Acclaimed by educators, world leaders, leading cultural organizations, international businesses and the Queen of England, Sir Ken shares the secrets of Unlocking Creativity in Business and Education.

ERIK MONGRAIN - When does one musical instrument seem like an orchestra? Some music cannot be described, only experienced. Elevating, inspiring and positively magical, the musical stylings of guitar virtuoso and YouTube phenomenon, Erik Mongrain will lift The UP Experience™ throughout the day,

RAY KURZWEIL - Called “the restless genius” by The Wall Street Journal, and “the ultimate thinking machine” by Forbes, his ideas on the future have been touted by many fans, from Bill Gates to Bill Clinton. Renowned inventor, entrepreneur, best-selling author, and widely-sought-after speaker Ray Kurzweil will expand your mind as he shares his vision of what’s next: The Singularity is Near: When Humans Transcend Biology.

JOHN MARIANI - What delicious additions to your table and wine cellar can you anticipate in the next few years? If anyone has the answer, it’s John Mariani. Called “the most influential food and wine critic in the popular press,” by the Philadelphia Inquirer, author, journalist, and radio/TV reporter John Mariani serves up the Future of Fine Dining, with plenty of wit and charm.

CRAIG KIELBURGER - Are you ever too young or too old to change the world? Now 24, children’s rights advocate Craig Kielburger began his work at the age of 12 years old, has touched the lives of more than one million young people with his organization, Free the Children, and is a New York Times-best selling author as well.

DR. CHRISTINE EHLIG-ECONOMIDES - Is it possible to move even faster on less fuel? And what will cars be like as we speed ahead to the Transportation Grids of the Future? Get tomorrow’s thinking today from this Texas A & M professor and founder of the Center for Energy, Environment, and Transportation Innovation.

SHAWN ACHOR - What’s the roadmap for happiness and the secret for being the best you can be? Shawn has illuminated thousands of Harvard University students, the corporate elite, heads of non-profits and think tank participants. Now this sought after author/lecturer shares the Science of Positive Psychology with you.

ALAN BEAULIEU - What’s Next for our Economy? Are we facing a big boom, a big bust or something in between? And does it matter if a Democrat or Republican is elected president? Find out from Alan Beaulieu, senior analyst, economist and principal with the Institute for Trend Research.

BETH BELOFF - Can economic development, environmental stewardship and social progress coexist? And does thinking green hold opportunities for keeping your business in the black? Consultant, thought leader and author Beth Beloff shares extensive expertise that spans a host of industries plus her powerful insights regarding Sustainable Development.

DR. HENRY LODGE, M.D. - How can you avoid 70% of your body’s decay and eliminate 50% of the injuries and illnesses associated with getting older? Prepare to be pleasantly surprised as Dr. Henry Lodge, M.D., a specialist on aging and best-selling author, shares the common sense secrets of How to Live Younger Next Year.

ROBYN MEREDITH - What does the rise of India and China mean to all of us? And what role will these economic powerhouses have on the U.S. economy? Hong Kong-based Forbes Magazine Senior Editor Robyn Meredith, is an expert on the global economy and author of The Elephant and the Dragon. Buckle up, as Robyn connects the dots in an unforgettable presentation.

RICHARD BARANIUK - Ready for the next internet revolution? Rice University Professor Richard Baraniuk, is leading the way with breakthrough technologies such as the “single pixel” digital camera. He’d also founder of Connexions, an innovative, award-winning nonprofit. Now, Richard makes you part of the action as he explains how Open Source Technology will break boundaries in the distributing knowledge.

DR. LEONARD BERRY, PH.D. - Everybody is talking about how to heal the healthcare crisis, but few have workable solutions - until now. Distinguished Texas A & M educator, author, lecturer and humanitarian Dr. Leonard Berry, Ph.D., is an expert in the areas of service, marketing and healthcare delivery. There’s no better expert to outline the steps in Confronting the Healthcare Crisis.

BOB SEABERG - Neither Fame nor Fortune Guarantee That One Can Live Well or Give Wisely. Learn about creating a living legacy and avoiding some of the planning mistakes of famous people with the Managing Director of Citi Global Wealth Planning. This is one presentation you cannot afford to miss.

DAN DEVIVO - Do we need a fence, new laws, open borders or an entirely new approach to immigration? Director/Producer/Harvard graduate, Dan DeVivo co-directed “Crossing Arizona”, which premiered at the Sundance Film Festival in 2006, and has experienced the crisis first hand. Now he’s here to explore How Immigration Affects All of Us.

DR. GARTH POWIS, D.PHIL. - Can cancer treatment become less invasive and more effective? And what new cures are getting closer? From the University of Texas M.D. Anderson Cancer Center comes Dr. Garth Powis, Director of the Center for Targeted Therapy, to talk to us about the latest developments in Personalized Medicine and Cancer Treatments.

SHARA FRYER - She’s a well-known former news anchor, Emmy-Award-winning journalist, community leader, public speaker, and philanthropist who’s known for her quick wit and fun-loving spirit. So it’s only natural that Shara Fryer would be our Emcee for the first UP Experience.

PETE THOMPSON - If Pete Thompson isn’t a household word, the products he’s launched to the marketplace are. They include the Hot Spot wi-fi network for T-Mobile, Hewlett-Packard’s Officejet multifunction printers and Levi Strauss & Company’s Dockers. Now, as General Manager of Microsoft’s Surface Computing, Pete believes he has found his most innovative product yet, Microsoft’s Surface Computer. Though it looks like a table, it integrates hardware, software and more into one intuitive product that promises to change the nature of computing. And he’s chosen The UP Experience for one of his earliest hand’s-on demonstrations.

So What Did I Learn at Up?

All of the speakers were terrific - but the following three left me speechless.

On Happiness

First and foremost I learned about the incredible power of thought. Harvard (that’s The Rice of the Northeast for you Texas Folk) based psychologist Shawn Achor is known as the “Professor of Happiness”. He’s young. He’s single. And he teaches the most popular course on campus - with nearly 1000 students enrolled each semester.

Wondering what the key to Happiness is? It starts with Changing Your Baseline. Look for ways to minimize stress, improve your focus, and embrace the uncertianties of life. Here are 6 ways to Change Your Baseline.

1. Start and End With Gratitude. Begin and end each day by writing down 5 things that you are grateful for.
2. Journaling - Blogs are great - but putting pen to paper is even better.
3. Simplify vs. Multitask - This is a tough one. For most people multitasking is par for the course. But concentrating on one task at a time - will help you accomplish more in less time. So focus - do more - simplify - be happy.
4. Utilizing Strengths - One of my favorite books is Soar with Your Strengths. The premise - cultivate your strengths and manage your weaknesses. Sounds simple right? Only - that’s not how people typically do things. Most people spend a lot of time trying to get good at things that they suck at - while forgetting to hone their strengths.
5. Exercise - Did you know that when you exercise neurotransmitters are released in the brain? The same neurotransmitters that are found in drugs used to treat depression? In other words - Exercise is a NATURAL Anti-depressant. So what are you waiting for - get moving!
6. Meditation - No you don’t have to become a Buddhist Monk to find the path to enlightenment. In fact - your path to true happiness could be one deep thought away.

On Creativity

Now that we’ve tackled happiness - let’s move on to the next lesson I learned at The Up Experience.

Sir Ken Robinson has been an idol of mine for a long time. In fact - I’ve watched his TED Talk at least a half a dozen times. It’s one thing to be a fan of someone - and quite another to finally shake their hand and meet them in person.

Sir Ken talked about two of my favorite subjects - Creativity and Education. But he didn’t just talk about these things - he demonstrated them. With his quick wit and British Charm he engaged the audience on what can only be described as a hyperlocal level. His style is very hard to imitate - because he first goes to the audience - and then takes the audience on a journey showing them the world through his eyes.

Aristotle once said that great fiction is not writing about the world as it is - but as it should and ought to be. Sir Ken says it’s vital that we cultivate creativity because the world is changing so quickly and so unpredictably that we need to be open to change and able to respond to it with flexibility and creativity. Which is why Creativity is essential. He presents us with hope - and raises our spirits in much the same way as a great work of fiction.

On Making a Difference

“If they can’t close their eyes - they close their hearts” - Craig Kielburger

There is only one word to describe Craig - Dynamic. Think Tony Robbins meets John F. Kennedy.

Craig started an organization called Free the Children when he was just 12 years old. Visit MeToWe.org to find out more about what his organization does today.

Main take away - “People don’t want a paycheck - they want meaning”.

What an Elegant Truth.

Special Thanks to…

Ernie & Sheryl Rapp for bringing The Up Experience to Houston. We LOVE You Guys!!!

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There are great companies all over the world doing amazing and innovative things. Especially in Israel.

I was really excited to not only meet but get to know many of the company founders who were invited to this year’s Israel Web Tour. I even got a chance to interview 4 of the companies for an upcoming episode of The Business Makers.

For me the real standouts at this event were:

5min - 5min is a place to find short video solutions for every
practical question and is also a place for people who want to share their knowledge. 5min’s vision is simple: any solution can be visually explained in 5 minutes.

8hands - One point access to MySpace, Facebook, Blogs, Flickr, YouTube and more. Ofer and I had a terrific conversation about 8hands - and social networking in general.

You can find out more about all of the companies by visiting: The Chosen People

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I am Grieving.

And I am learning that grieving is a natural part of the growth process.

This post is an act of courage on my part. Inspired by other amazing acts of courage - and by the kind words of my friend Tara who told me - “Don’t cry, Erica! You rock! Actually, you POWER rock!”

According to Getting Past Your Past - there are 3 phases of grief:

1. shock and denial
2. great emotion
3. acceptance, reorganization and integration.

Did you know that the Grief of a Breakup feels the same - whether you’re breaking up with a person or a company? Did you know that it’s the same process - stemming from the same root emotions?

I spent this past weekend in bed. Crying mostly. Part of me does not want to admit this - because I know it will be viewed as a weakness.

I’ve been watching the race for the Democratic Nomination - and while I might not personally support Hillary - I am acutely aware of how much emotion she has been forced to hide. Somehow over time it has been universally accepted that emotions = weakness - and emotional women are at best too soft and at worst weak, hysterical, pathetic and unstable.

I have watched women I admire get publically bashed for their candor and openness online. And sadly - sometimes I have joined the cries of those mobs.

I would like to propose here that being emotional is NOT a weakness but a strength. It is from emotions that women draw on some of their greatest strengths including: Intuition, Compassion, Passion, and Heart.

Now back to the grieving. Something happened months ago - and instead of going through the natural grieving process I did what a lot of successful women do.

I threw myself into my work.

I made sure that I didn’t have a single minute to think about the pain. Everytime I started to wallow - I would take on another project. In fact - the entire Got Social Media?™ conference was born out of my extreme avoidance of emotional pain.

One of my favorite Authors, Sue Bender, frequently uses the symbol of a Begging Bowl. This simple object has an extreme importance in the daily life of a Buddhist Monk. Whatever is placed in the bowl - will be the monks nurishment for that day.

But the bowl has a symbolic meaning as well. Like Joseph Campbell’s “Call of the Warrior” - the Begging Bowl is a symbol of possibilities. And while it can be tempting to take on every possibility - to fill our bowls completely - this is not wise.

And yet - this is what I have been doing.

Several months ago - I had a great shock. I suffered a great professional loss. A loss that hurt me more deeply than even I could have imagined. And not even a month later - I suffered a great personal loss. But I did not stop. I did not allow myself to feel. I used every defense mechanism at my disposal to push onward.

I blamed others. I rationalized. I took flight. I minimized. And I sent myself head first into DENIAL.

And along the way (surprising though it may seem)- I achieved many wonderful successes.

1. I sold out my first ever Got Social Media?™ Conference.
2. I took on 2 Dream Clients.
3. I got to spend a lot of quality time with my mentors and people who I greatly admire. And even got to judge a contest for Microsoft.
4. I recorded some great interviews for The Business Makers Radio Show.
5. I started a joint venture called 4th local media with my friend Dayna.
6. I spoke at a conference on Social Media and got invited to speak at WebVisions in Portland.
7. I trained a couple well known companies on how to best utilize Social Media within their organizations.
8. I spent a lot of time traveling and meeting people who I admire.
9. I started on several new personal and community projects (Jelly, The Legend’s Project, Chinquapin, Knowbility Redesign, etc).
10. And soon, I will be launching a new site and Social Media Campaign for another fabulous new client.

But at the same time - I have filled my bowl too full. I have (at least temporarily) taken on more than I can chew. And as a result - many of my clients have not received the attention they deserve.

And many of my dearest friends have not received the attention they deserve.

Which is why I would like to publicly apologize to some people. First to my friend Caleb Jenkins who organized the Community Leadership Summit. And who - not once - but twice changed the date to accommodate my schedule. I am deeply sorry that I missed this past weekends event. I’d also like to apologize to Chris Heuer for missing an interview opportunity with him in San Francisco. That was another example of filling my bowl too full.

To my current and potential clients - I apologize for often not returning emails in a timely manner. I know I owe several potential clients a follow-up email - and I’d just like to say that I will be referring you to other consultants - as my bowl is full.

I have a couple dream accounts that I am working on - and I’m doing okay. But the truth is - I could be doing even better.

So - I’ll be dropping a couple of my current commitments. And will be more careful about the commitments I make in the future.

And yes - my week is already full of meetings. Some with potential clients - and some with current clients. And while I might never slow to a crawl. I am slowing down…

I want to give myself time to grieve.

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