relasyon

Meeting Again My Childhood Crush!

2010-08-24T16:49:00.010+08:00

fascinating_ann

Memories from my childhood days is a great history,
So my Blog deserves this exciting story.
It’s unusual to meet again your crush in your past
But it’s trilling, it happened and we saw each other at last.

Upon writing this story,
I don’t know where to start,I don’t know where to end up
Until I heard this song which caught my attention.
And told to myself this is the ultimate solution.

I didn’t say that it will be the story,
But it’s nice to hear specially the melody
I will post the lyrics and the song to feel freely
Of what the song’s reality

Lyrics: Maybe This Time

Two old friends meet again

Wearing older faces

Talk about the places they’ve been

Two old sweethearts who fell apart

Somewhere along the globe

How are they to know

Someday they’ll meet again

And never need for more than reminiscing

Chorus:

Maybe this time

It’ll be love and they’ll find

Maybe now they can be more than just friends

She’s back in his life and it feels so right

Maybe this time love won’t end

It’s the same old feeling back again

It’s the one that they had back then

They were too young

To know when love’s real

But somehow some things never change

And even time hasn’t cooled the flame

It’s burning even brighter than it did before

It got another chance and if they take it

Repeat chorus

She’s smiling like she used to smile way back then

He’s feeling like he used to feel way back when they tried

But something can’t been waiting for this magic moment

Repeat chorus

Maybe this time..

Maybe this time love won’t end

By the way it's been 16 long years before we meet again!

Love, Faith and Hope

2010-07-11T16:09:00.020+08:00

by: fascinating_ann ( I'm back..now lang ulit nakapagsulat, pagpasensyahan nyo na muna lol)

Love, Faith and Hope are words of a positive thoughts and hard to

achieve in one’s life.

Love is a precious feeling that every man needs in order to be happy and complete. But most of the time this is also the reason why you are so empty and miserable. Love has different ways to demonstrate, different meanings to comprehend, and different stages to fulfill. It’s so mysterious that anyone can’t understand.

“ Akala ko pag nagmahal ka magiging masaya ka, magiging kumpleto ka, pero hindi lahat ng inaasahan mo mangyayari. Natuto kang magmahal, matuto ka din kayanin ang sakit na mararamdaman mo. Sabi ko nga sa dati kong post, hindi ba pwedeng nagmamahal na lang at di nasasaktan? Mahirap dba?” Love is so unpredictable; you can’t say what will be the next step after you get caught by this thing called love. Nobody can tell you if that kind of love is right or wrong.

“May mali bang pagmamahal? Pano natin malalaman kung mali o tama? May nagsasabi na dun sila masaya sa pagmamahal na yun kahit masakit. Masaya ba pag may nanakit sayo o nasasaktan ka? Magulo dba? Sa sarili ko man nahihirapan ako ipaliwanag, na kahit alam mong nasasaktan ka na at di ka sasaya, siya padin ang gusto mong mahalin. Siguro nga may taong martir, masukista sabi ng iba. Mahirap isipin kaya wag nyo ng isipin. Mahilig kase ntin isipin basta may FAITH mangyayari ang gustuhin ng sinuman.”

Faith is to believe what you do not see and trust the things you want to happen. Had no explanation needed coz you already had faith. In ones faith, being faithful or giving so much loyalty to one another is one of the greatest things you can ever have.

“Naniniwala ba kayo sa destiny? Having faith na may nakalaan na para sa inyo? Kahit hindi nyo alam kung sino, pero still naniniwala tayo na meron nga and keep waiting and trusting na isang araw bigla nyong mararamadaman na sya na nga. Ang sarap ng feeling, na maramdaman ang magic of love. Pero masakit pa din maniwala lalo na pag hindi nangyari. Yun faith natin magiging HOPE na lang. Lalo na pag nakailan dapa na tayo at laging iisipin sya na pero hindi pala, ”

If you failed in your faith, no worry there’s still Hope. We must accept finite disappointment, but never lose infinite hope according from Martin Luther King Jr.

Having a relationship is full of suffering but there’s also ways of overcoming it.

“Sarap maniwala pero bakit hindi ko magawa. Bakit ako mismo nahihirapan. May pag-asa ba talaga? Ang sabi “don’t expect but still hope” paano kaya yun? If you have hope, you’re also expecting something. It’s a complicated thing right? Minsan nga it’s better to stop hoping na lang to stop also the pain and disappointment and to have more respect even for yourself.

In every heartache that we experienced from the past, we must be willing to LOVE, to have FAITH and to HOPE again! That’s the reality of life, don’t stop, and keep on striving for success in life and in love.

CONTENTMENT / SATISFACTION

2008-08-29T15:57:00.003+08:00

by: Fascinating_ann (it's nice to be back)..

Contentment refers to the neuro-physiological experience of satisfaction and being at ease in one's situation, body mind , body, and/or mind.

Contentment or Satisfaction, does it really exist in one’s mind?
If this word exists, are we applying it to ourselves?
Have we ever felt the satisfaction in our whole life?
Do we stop from asking for more?

Satisfaction with material, physical and emotional aspect.
These are the aspects that are difficult to fulfill.
We’re always complaining.
Keep on asking for more.

If you have a simple thing you will ask for some accessories to make it more beautiful,
If you have a simple look you want to enhance it more by surgery, make ups or whatever
to be more attractive,
If there is a simple man/woman who is willing to love you for what he/she can only gives you, you will push him/her to give and love you more.

Satisfaction is very hard to find, to feel and to have.
But sometimes we need to,
But I’m not saying stop dreaming and stop improving ourselves.
We have our own obligation to improve and to make ourselves more essential not because it is required, rather we do it because we want to.
It’s easy to say that we must be contented but it’s hard to do.
But the only thing and the most significant to do is to be thankful to God for what we have and give importance to the blessings that we received.

The person with whom everything was perfect, but the timing was just wrong!

2008-07-30T10:53:00.005+08:00

by: fascinating_ann

What if you’re always waiting for the right person, for the perfect partner or for your dream boy/girl, but it seems so hard that when he/she came along, you just find out, the timing was just wrong.

Di ba another pain? Sabi ko nga sa isa kong topic laging kakambal ng pagmamahal ang pasakit. Hindi ka pwedeng magmahal ng hindi ka nasasaktan. Pano kung naramdaman mo na sya na ang taong para sayo pero hindi pa panahon? May mga dahilan kung bakit may wrong timing ika nga.

It can happen that he/she just broke up with their partners and they are not yet able to move on. It’s hard to have a new relationship when we know that we’re not fully recover from pain with our previous relationship. Mahirap ng maging panakip butas sabi nga ng friend kong si coldsouljeff, dba bro? Baka you need lang na magintay like sa mga kantang ito:

Hwag ka lang mawawala chorus:
“Hwag ka lang mawawala kapag nariyan ka ako’y sumisigla,
kahit hindi ko pa kaya ang magmahal
sana sa akin ay hindi magsasawa
puso’y ibibigay sayo sa oras na maghilom ang sugat nito
panahon lamang ang hinihiling sayo, sana ay pagbigyan mo ako.”

At ito pa.......

Kung ako na lang sana chorus:
“Kung ako na lang sana ang iyong minahal
Hindi ka na muling magiisa,
kung ako nalang sana ang iyong minahal
hindi ka na muling luluha pa
Hindi ka na mangangailangan pang
Humanap ng iba, narito ang puso ko maghihintay lamang sayo
Kung ako na lang sana”

Sometimes naman they have already their partner so paano ka makakasingit dba? Wrong timing na naman, kahit mahal na mahal mo na. Pero ganun talaga, hindi lahat ng gusto mo, you can have it. At ito naman ang kakantahin mo:

Kung alam mo lang by Rachelle Ann Go
“Kung alam mo lang kung gano kita kamahal
Nagtitiis, ngdurusa sa tuwing kapiling mo sya
Kung alam mo lang na mahal na mahal kita
ngunit ako’y lalayo nang di na muling masaktan”

Or there’s also an instance that ikaw naman mismo ang may minamahal na,
nang maramdaman mong may iba ka pang mahal (ang takaw mo namn joke!)
Mahirap kase bka makasakit ka sa taong nagmamahal sayo. At ito naman ang kakantahin mo:

BAKIT NGAYON KA LANG
“Bakit ngayon ka lang
Bakit ngayon kung kelan ang aking puso’y
Mayroon nang laman
Sana’y nalaman ko na darating ka sa buhay ko
Di sana’y naghintay ako

Ikaw sana ang aking yakap yakap
Ang iyong kamay lagi ang aking hawak
At hindi kanya, at hindi kanya”

Even if we don’t want to experience some of this complicated kind of love, we can’t able to control the feelings and emotions that we have.
Sabi nga ng iba kapag matalino ka sa academics, bobo ka daw sa pag-ibig.
So don’t wait for the perfect one, because nobody is perfect and maybe you can try the wrong one who is willing to be right just for you.

My Top Five Reasons of Break-Ups

2008-07-25T10:00:00.007+08:00

By: Fascinating_ann

Break ups, broken relationships or end up commitments anything you wanna call it.

There are lot of reasons para mauwi sa break up ang isang relationship. I just want to share my top five reasons of break ups.

From my top 5, Problems with your partner's parents- In my point of view pang lima lang ito sa tingin kong magiging cause of break up, its so difficult to please the parents of your love one, im so thankful lang dahil hindi ko pa naencounter ang problem na to but i think it can be one of the problems, pero i can say din na minsan ito yung nagiging motivation ng isang relasyon to be stronger kse there's a saying na mas masarap ang bawal kya pag may nagbabawal sa inyo mas lalo lang tumitigas ang ulo natin and feeling natin against all odds and kayo lang dalawa ang mgkakampi kaya mas ipinipilit ang gusto nyo.

From my top 4, Miscommunication and misunderstanding- of course it is important in a good relationship, so kung wala yan simula na ng away and palitan ng masasakit na salita tapos nun tapos na ( ganda ng paliwanag noh? heheh), if there is lack of good communication mas mahirap maintindihan,mas mahirap unawain,mas mahirap arukin ng pag-iisip lalo na at malayo kayo sa isa't isa at hindi nkakapagusap na maayos, meron din naman mgkatabi na hindi din nman ng uusap because of pride dba? kaya its a matter of sharing and listening lang yun..pag yung isa ngshashare at ng oopen just listen at intindihin ang mga bagay bagay.

From my top 3, Freedom - sabi nila pag my commitment ka mawawala na yun freedom mo, siguro sa tingin ko its just a matter of giving yourself a limitations, of course pag may commitment ka you have to be aware sa feelings ng partner mo, you have to consider him/her sa mga decisions mo.May mga instances na nasasakal na ang isang tao sa sobrang kababawal ng partner nya in my case nagbabawal din naman ako pero npakalaking pero, yun eh kung ano lang din ang ipinagbabawal sken, ang lagay eh sya lang ang nagbabawal, ang sa akin lang eh para makaganti heheh joke! Sabi nga huwag mong gagawin sa iba ang ayaw mong gawin sayo kya kung anong ayaw mong ipagbawal sayo hwag mo din ipagbawal sa partner mo hehehe tama bako?pakicorrect nlng if may apila kayo.

From my top 2- Longdistance Relationship- oops dito ata yun criteria ko heheh! Madami ang nagsasabi na 2 is to 10 daw ang nkakalagpas sa ganitong klase ng relationship. Noon malimit akong maasar kase nga lage sinasabi sken na huwag nako magintay kase hindi na naman yun babalik at meron ng iba. Ako intay padin kse my trust ako sa kapartner ko but then after 5 years ng pagiintay (dandadadan!!!!) hindi na nga bumalik.Ayos lang mas naging strong nman ako dahil dun pero its not a hindrance para hindi nako magmahal ulit. In my own experience kadalasan ang sasabihin sayo nangulila(sana pinasamahan ko sa yaya), nalungkot( sana nanood nalang sya ng barney para sumaya sya, or mahirap ang buhay doon ( lalo naman dito). Napakadaming alibi sa buhay pero isa lang ang kinalabasan break na din kayo, in short walang nangyari sa pagiintay nagka-ugat na at lahat.

And my Top 1- Third Party- most common reason of break ups ito mga kapatid.Nabiktima din ako nito eh kaso wala akong kalaban laban malayo ako eh, pero ok lang kanya na yun (heheh). but still i dont have any right to judge lahat ng mga nagiging third party maaaring nabiktima lang din sila and walang kaalam alam sa mga nangyayari.Pero dun sa mga alam na nilang may tao silang masasaktan be considerate naman sa mga taong masasaktan nyo lalong lalo na yung may mga pananagutan na sa buhay, yung may mga pamilya na. Maaaring maging masaya kayo panandalian pero darating ang time na maghahangad kayo ng talagang para sa inyo. May mga instances naman na talagang gumagawa ng paraan para malipat sa kanila ang feelings ng isang tao, na gagawin ang lahat maagaw lang ang taong mahal laban sa karibal.Hindi ko din alam kung mas natutuwa sila sa ganun pero hindi ba nila naiisip na kung naagaw nila yun mula sa dating minamahal eh maaari din maagaw ng iba sa kanila. Nagawa nga nila dati bakit hindi nila magagawa ulit.

Kaya dun sa mga nag aattempt just think a hundred thousand times and think of the 5 letter word KARMA.

Kung may additional reasons pa kayo just feel free to share!!! ciao

LESCH-NYHAN SYNDROME

2008-07-22T10:59:00.006+08:00

BY: Fascinating_ann

Lesch-Nyhan Syndrome also known as Nyhan’s syndrome, is a rare, inherited disorder caused by a deficiency of the enzyme hypoxanthine-guanine phosphoribosyltransferase (HGPRT). LNS is an X-linked recessive disease: the gene is carried by the mother and passed on to her son.

LNS is present at birth in baby boys. Patients have severe mental and physical problems throughout life. The lack of HGPRT causes a build-up of uric acid in all body fluids, and leads to problems such as severe gout, poor muscle control, and moderate mental retardation, which appear in the first year of life.

A striking feature of LNS is self-mutilating behaviors, characterized by lip and finger biting, that begin in the second year of life.
Abnormally high uric acid levels can cause sodium urate crystals to form in the joints, kidneys, central nervous system and other tissues of the body, leading to gout-like swelling in the joints and severe kidney problems.

Neurological symptoms include facial grimacing, involuntary writhing, and repetitive movements of the arms and legs similar to those seen in Huntington's disease. The direct cause of the neurological abnormalities remains unknown. Because a lack of HGPRT causes the body to poorly utilize vitamin B12, some boys may develop a disorder called megaloblastic anemia.

The symptoms caused by the buildup of uric acid (arthritis and renal symptoms) respond well to treatment with drugs such as allopurinol that reduce the levels of uric acid in the blood. The mental deficits and self-mutilating behavior do not respond to treatment. There is no cure, but many patients live to adulthood. LNS is rare, affecting about one in 380,000 live births.

Isa ito sa mga kaso ng ganitong klase ng sakit, napakakonti ng ganitong kaso ngunit sa Pilipinas pa mkikita ang dalawang bata na may ganitong klase ng sakit at sinong hindi maaawa sa kalagayan ng mga ito ng malaman kong mgkapatid pa sila.Sinasabing 1 sa bawat 380,000 ang apektado nito. Kakaiba ang sakit na ito sapagkat sarili nilang katawan ang kanilang kinakain.Halos ubos na ang kanilang mga labi at daliri..

Let's take a look at this Video:

Para Lang Sayo

2008-07-21T13:16:00.008+08:00

by: Fascinating_ann
After all the sufferings and pains from love in my past,
here I am, found myself loving again someone special.
To someone more deserving to receive my love,affection and trust.

To my special someone,
Please be careful with my heart pero hindi yun yung dedicated song ko sayo heheh.
Please listen to this song. It's specially for you, pero hindi pa din yan yung title eto na talaga.

Para Lang Sayo

I Hope I can make you smile, you know who you are!!!

Hindi ba pwedeng magmahal ng masaya ka lang at hindi nasasaktan?

2008-07-18T09:18:00.001+08:00

by: fascinating_ann

Hindi ba kayo nagtatanong kung bakit laging nasasaktan pag nagmamahal,kung bakit laging umiiyak pag may minamahal. Hindi ba pwedeng masaya ka lang?

If there's sufferings there's glory,
If there's sadness, there's happiness
If there's darkness there's light, and
If there's rain,there's always a sunshine

But in the back of all thoughts ,hindi ka pa din ma satisfied,
Laging my tanong. Bakit ganito bakit ganyan?
Bakit hindi pwedeng masaya ka lang nagmamahal,nag aalaga at nagtitiwala
Bakit kailangan masaktan ka, umiyak at magmukmok?

Masarap magmahal
It's a blessing having someone to love and be loved.
Having someone you want to takecare of
Having someone to trust with and
Having someone to be with for the rest of your life

Pero masasaktan at masasaktan ka pag nagmamahal
Kakambal ng pagmamahal ang pasakit
Hindi ka masasaktan kung hindi ka nagmamahal
At ang sakit na yun ang magpapatibay ng pagmamahalan nyo

Sa kabila ng lahat ng nasabi ng isip ko pilit kinokontra ng puso ko
Gusto ko pa din magmahal ulit pero sana this time i want to be happy
Tapos nko sa sakit and i believed that i deserve to be happy
Everybody deserves to be happy!!!

What Makes a Good Relationship?

2008-07-11T09:17:00.001+08:00

by: coldsouljeff

hen people first experience falling in love, it often starts as attraction. Sexual feelings can also be a part of this attraction. People at this stage might daydream about a crush or a new BF or GF. They may doodle the person's name or think of their special someone while a particular song is playing.

It sure feels like love. But it's not love yet. It hasn't had time to grow into emotional closeness that's needed for love. Because feelings of attraction and sexual interest are new, and they're directed at a person we want a relationship with, it's not surprising we confuse attraction with love. It's all so intense, exciting, and hard to sort out.

The crazy intensity of the passion and attraction phase fades a bit after a while. Like putting all our energy into winning a race, this kind of passion is exhilarating but far too extreme to keep going forever. If a relationship is destined to last, this is where closeness enters the picture. The early passionate intensity may fade, but a deep affectionate attachment takes its place.

Some of the ways people grow close are:

Learning to give and receive. A healthy relationship is about both people, not how much one person can get from (or give to) the other.
Revealing feelings. A supportive, caring relationship allows people to reveal detail about themselves — their likes and dislikes, dreams and worries, proud moments, disappointments, fears, and weaknesses.
Listening and supporting. When two people care, they offer support when the other person is feeling vulnerable or afraid. They don't put down or insult their partner, even when they disagree.

Giving, receiving, revealing, and supporting is a back-and-forth process: One person shares a detail, then the other person shares something, then the first person feels safe enough to share a little more. In this way, the relationship gradually builds into a place of openness, trust, and support where each partner knows that the other will be there when times are tough. Both feel liked and accepted for who they are.

The passion and attraction the couple felt early on in the relationship isn't lost. It's just different. In healthy, long-term relationships, couples often find that intense passion comes and goes at different times. But the closeness is always there.

Sometimes, though, a couple loses the closeness. For adults, relationships can sometimes turn into what experts call "empty love." This means that the closeness and attraction they once felt is gone, and they stay together only out of commitment. This is not usually a problem for teens, but there are other reasons why relationships end.

Why Do Relationships End? -my point of view

I think Love is delicate. It needs to be cared for and nurtured if it is to last through time. Just like friendships, relationships can fail if they are not given enough time and attention. This is one reason why some couples might not last perhaps someone is so busy with school, extracurriculars, and work that he or she has less time for a relationship. Or maybe a relationship ends when people graduate and go to separate colleges or take different career paths.

Busyness is the great enemy of relationships.

If you give your time to something it means that it give more importance to you.

For sometimes, a couple may grow apart because the things that are important to them change as they mature. Or maybe each person wants different things out of the relationship they expect on their partner and if this expectations not meet they seek for it. Sometimes both people realize the relationship has reached its end; sometimes one person feels this way when the other does not.

If you started to feel cold in your relationship try to analyze what are the reasons, problems, and from there if you want to save it talk to each other and decide. I guess the reason why a person gets cold, because she/he feels alone even your there for her/him. Go and let her/him feel your affection. Just don't say I love you in text or chat. Action speak louder than words.

Healthy or Unhealthy relationship?

2008-07-09T07:30:00.001+08:00

by coldsouljeff

Minsan pakiramdam natin na imposibleng makahanap nang nararapat para sayo -and who thinks you're right for him or her! Kapag nangyari yun, you're usually so psyched. It's totally normal to look lalo na sa ung stage palang ng relationship. Makulay na makulay ito. But some people, yung mga tipong makulay sa umpisa hindi nila alam na there's a blinders that keep them from seeing that a relationship is not as healthy as it should be.

Ano ba meron sa isang masiglang relasyon?(What Makes a Healthy Relationship?) Hopefully, you and your bf/gf are treating each other well. Not sure if that is the case?. Tingnan nyo kung ang relasyon nyo ay may katangiang tulad nito:

¤Mutual respect (Respeto)- Does he or she get how cool you are and why? (Watch out if the answer to the first part is yes but only because you're acting like someone you're not!) The key is that your BF or GF is into you for who you are — for your great sense of humor, your love of reality TV, etc. Does your partner listen when you say you're not comfortable doing something and then back off right away? Respect in a relationship means that each person values who the other is and understands — and would never challenge — the other person's boundaries. - Respeto sa relasyon dito nyo makikita kung paano nyo pinapahalagan ang isa't isa mapa desisyon man o anong bagay. Anong pakiramdam kapag hindi ka nirerespeto? diba nakakababa ng self esteem?. so in short kapag may respeto sa isang relasyon it shows how much important you are in a person.

¤ Trust (Tiwala) You're talking with a guy from French class and your boyfriend walks by. Does he completely lose his cool or keep walking because he knows you'd never cheat on him? It's OK to get a little jealous sometimes — jealousy is a natural emotion. But how a person reacts when feeling jealous is what matters. There's no way you can have a healthy relationship if you don't trust each other. - Tiwala sa isang tao ay napakahalaga lalo na sa relasyon. Once na masira mo ito at malamatan ng ano mang kataksilan. Naku mahirap na ibalik ang tiwalang nasira. Para itong papel na pinunit mo pero kahit anong gawin mo para mabuo itong papel makikita mo pa rin ung lamat nito. Ganyan sa relasyon. Its not that naman na kapag nakita mo gf/bf mo na may kasama ay di ka na magseselos diba?. Tao lang naman tau, ang plastik mo naman kapag di ka nag selos. Ang pagseselos dapat nasa lugar.

¤Honesty (Katapatan)- ito ay konektado sa katapatan dahil di ka naman magtitiwala kung hindi tapat sayo ang isang tao. Ito ang pinaka mahirap gawin sa isang relasyon! bakit ko nasabi un?. Kung sarili mo nga niloloko mo minsan, ibang tao pa kaya?. Nahuli mo naba ang bf/gf mo na nagsinungaling?. Like she told you that she had to work on Friday night but it turned out she was at the movies with her friends? The next time she says she has to work, you'll have a lot more trouble believing her and the trust will be on shaky groun. On this, trust is fading.

¤Support(Suporta) - Hindi lang dapat sa masamang sitwasyon sinusuportahan mo ang partner mo. Some people are great when your whole world is falling apart but can't take being there when things are going right (and vice versa). Sa masiglang relasyon, your significant other is there with a shoulder to cry on or not.

¤Fairness/equality (Pantay dapat).Ito ang pinaka gusto ko at sa tingin ko sa lahat ng naka relasyon ko ay ako lang give ng give. Sa relasyon you need to have give-and-take in your relationship, too. Do you take turns choosing which new movie to see? As a couple, do you hang out with your partner's friends as often as you hang out with yours? It's not like you have to keep a running count and make sure things are exactly even, of course. But you'll know if it isn't a pretty fair balance. Things get bad really fast when a relationship turns into a power struggle, with one person fighting to get his or her way all the time. Pero in the end wala naman dapat sumbatan diba?.

¤Separate identities (pagkaiba). In a healthy relationship, everyone needs to make compromises. But that doesn't mean you should feel like you're losing out on being yourself. When you started going out, you both had your own lives (families, friends, interests, hobbies, etc.) and that shouldn't change. Neither of you should have to pretend to like something you don't, or give up seeing your friends, or drop out of activities you love. And you also should feel free to keep developing new talents or interests, making new friends, and moving forward.

¤Good communication. You've probably heard lots of stuff about how men and women don't seem to speak the same language. We all know how many different meanings the little phrase "no, nothing's wrong" can have, depending on who's saying it! But what's important is to ask if you're not sure what he or she means, and speak honestly and openly so that the miscommunication is avoided in the first place. Never keep a feeling bottled up because you're afraid it's not what your BF or GF wants to hear or because you worry about sounding silly. And if you need some time to think something through before you're ready to talk about it, the right person will give you some space to do that if you ask for it.

What's an Unhealthy Relationship?

A relationship is unhealthy when it involves mean, disrespectful, controlling, or abusive behavior. Some people live in homes with parents who fight a lot or abuse each other — emotionally, verbally, or physically. For some people who have grown up around this kind of behavior it can almost seem normal or OK. It's not! Many of us learn from watching and imitating the people close to us. So someone who has lived around violent or disrespectful behavior may not have learned how to treat others with kindness and respect or how to expect the same treatment. Qualities like kindness and respect are absolute requirements for a healthy relationship. Someone who doesn't yet have this part down may need to work on it with a trained therapist before he or she is ready for a relationship. Meanwhile, even though you might feel bad or feel for someone who's been mistreated, you need to take care of yourself — it's not healthy to stay in a relationship that involves abusive behavior of any kind. Warning Signs When a boyfriend or girlfriend uses verbal insults, mean language, nasty putdowns, gets physical by hitting or slapping, or forces someone into sexual activity, it's an important warning sign of verbal, emotional, or physical abuse.

Ask yourself, does my boyfriend or girlfriend:
* get angry when I don't drop everything for him or her? * criticize the way I look or dress, and say I'll never be able to find anyone else who would date me? * keep me from seeing friends or from talking to any other guys or girls? * want me to quit an activity, even though I love it? makasarili ba? * ever raise a hand when angry, like he or she is about to hit me? naku! * try to force me to go further sexually than I want to?

These aren't the only questions you can ask yourself. If you can think of any way in which your boyfriend or girlfriend is trying to control you, make you feel bad about yourself, isolate you from the rest of your world, or — this is a big one — harm you physically or sexually, then it's time to get out, fast. Let a trusted friend or family member know what's going on and make sure you're safe. It can be tempting to make excuses or misinterpret violence, possessiveness, or anger as an expression of love. But even if you know that the person hurting you loves you, it is not healthy. No one deserves to be hit, shoved, or forced into anything he or she doesn't want to do.

Under these two category which do you think your relationship is in? healthy or unhealthy?

Photos from flickr.com

'Closure'

2008-07-07T06:43:00.001+08:00

Break-up dapat bang may closure?

Pakiramdam mo bitin kapag malabo ang mga pangyayari.

Ito ay uso ngayon ang terminong "closure" it indicates the formal break-up of two parties involved in a romantic relationship. Naranasan ko narin ito, kayo in a months pero habang tumatagal nawawala siya. Hindi na nagpaparamdam at wala nang komunikasyon.

Mahalagang mangyari ito dahil dito kayo magkakaalaman at magkakalinawan kung tapos na ang ugnayan ng dalawang tao sa isa't-isa.
Kung walang closure, parang bitin. Ang hirap tuloy makapag move on.

Pero bakit nga ba mahirap kung walang closure?
Sa isang artikulong lumabas sa Psychology Today (PT), may tinatawag ang mga psychologist "open"and "closed" memories ng mga tao.
Ang mga isyung bitin o hindi na-resolba ay tinuturing na "open" memories.
"Open memories are the ones we still struggle to understand." We think about htem often, and still see them as a relevant to our current lives".

Sa mga pag-aaral ni Denise Beike, psychologist ng University of Arkansas, lumalabas na kapag walang closure ang isang memory o relasyon, "dwelling on then decrease self-esteem."

Maraming dahilan kung bakit naghihiwalay ang mga magkarelasyon. Merong nakahahanap ng iba, merong feeling ay nasasakal kaya umaalis. Merong gusto ng ibang challenge. Merong nagigising na lang sa katotohanang hindi na niya mahal ang kasintahan kahit walang third party.
Kung ikaw ang gustong humiwalay, mainam pa ring maging tapat sa totoong nararamdaman sa halip na biglang mag disappear sa karelasyon.
Kung nangangamba kang baka masaktan ang kasama mo, lahat naman ng paghihiwalay ay masakit di ba?
Risk talaga ang masaktan o makasakit sa anumang relasyon.
"You're breaking up because there's something fundamental one of you didn't get from the ohter --respect, honesty, trust, attention, understanding, help. That's what you should laser in on and explain to your partner".

Sa ganitong paraan, malinaw sa taong iiwanan kung anong naging mali sa relasyon.
Kung ikaw naman ang iniwan ng taong ayaw man lang magparamdam, magiging unfair ka sa sarili mo kung hihintayin mong magsalita ang ayaw nang makipag-usap.

Maraming proof na talagang taposna ang relasyon. Kailangang maging sensitive ka sa ganito. For example, your ex is ging around town with a new partner. Hindi pa ba closure yun?

Kahit gaano kasakit ang isang break-up , whether lantaran or bitin, may lesson na matututunan dito.
Kailangang balikan ang sanhi ng paghihiwalay, whether dahil sa kanya or dahil sa iyo.
Pagkakataon mo na ito para baguhin ang isang ugali o katangian na maaring nakaka put-off sa ibang tao.

Glossary:
Inquirer Libre (Cathy C. Yamsuan)