The NHS does not currently recognise sex addiction as a condition for which NHS resources are made available in its own right.

The American Psychiatric Association (APA) is the body which updates the definitive guide to what constitutes a genuine psychological disorder rather than an imaginary one. Their decision as to whether it will be classified is awaited. Watch this space!!

*********STOP PRESS****************

WHAT MAY BE BRISTOL’S FIRST WOMEN PARTNER’S SUPPORT/THERAPY GROUP IS DUE TO BE LAUNCHED BY GARY IN FEBRUARY 2012. HIGHLY CONFIDENTIAL IN ITS COMPOSITION, IT IS WHAT MANY MANY PARTNERS HAVE WANTED FOR A LONG TIME.

CONTACT GARY FOR FURTHER DETAILS.

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Now available from AMAZON.COM – ISBN 9781463556952

Not about sex, all about an addiction!

Sex Addiction is very little to do with sex, but all to do with Addictions. People become addicted as they find a way to soothe the pain of life’s problems, conflicts, stresses, anxieties, concerns, relationship pain, losses, concerns and heartaches. Pain hurts!

The brain will do all that it must do to quench pain and re-establish harmony. There are different parts of the brain with different functions. The brain hates pain. It loves pleasure. Neurochemicals are released and affect the brain in certain situations and extreme environments.

The logical thinking side of the brain frquently gets overridden by the feeling side of the brain and causes us to go against logic, in favour of feelings; feelings drive us to mask pain with “false” intimacies. Problem! There is always a kick back. The kick back eventually hurts us more than the feeling which we sought to quench. The temporary fix is short lived and we pay a price much higher than we had ever thought, expected or bargained for. Help is available. We can work by Skype. Send me an email.

——————————————————————

Cycle of Addiction

            →    Shame, Guilt, distress, Despair, stress, anxiety, loneliness, low self-esteem   →                    

          ↑                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                             ↓                          ↓                                                                                                                                                                                                                                         ↓

                                                                                              ↓

After acting out, the tension release                                                Need to get rid of those feelings of shame, Guilt, stress etc,

is short lived and a low is experience after the high                                   therefore preoccupation with thoughts of acting out.

The Shame, Guilt, distress, Despair, Stress, etc                                     Those thoughts become a part of the ritual and a getting

from which relief was sought, returns with a vengeance.                  ready to act out adds to the increasing sexual arousal.

The desire to self soothe builds up over time  and the cycle                                                                          ↓

starts again.

   ↑                                                                                                                                                              ↓ 

                      ←        The acting out/compulsive behaviour kicks in. ie viewing porn,             ←

                                         masturbating, prostitution, cruising, using escorts or cybersex etc

Now available from AMAZON.COM and AMAZON.CO.UK – ISBN 9781463556952

*********STOP PRESS****************

WHAT MAY BE BRISTOL’S FIRST WOMEN PARTNER’S SUPPORT/THERAPY GROUP IS DUE TO BE LAUNCHED BY GARY IN FEBRUARY 2012. HIGHLY CONFIDENTIAL IN ITS COMPOSITION, IT IS WHAT MANY MANY PARTNERS HAVE WANTED FOR A LONG TIME.

CONTACT GARY FOR FURTHER DETAILS.

*************************************

Sex Addiction is very little to do with sex, but all to do with Addictions. People become addicted as they find a way to soothe the pain of life’s problems, conflicts, stresses, anxieties, concerns, relationship pain, losses, concerns and heartaches. Pain hurts!

The brain will do all that it must do to quench pain and re-establish harmony.  There are different parts of the brain with different functions. The brain hates pain. It loves pleasure. Neurochemicals are released and affect the brain in certain situations and extreme environments. The logical thinking side of the brain frquently gets overridden by the feeling side of the brain and causes us to go against logic, in favour of feelings; feelings drive us to mask pain with “false” intimacies.

Problem! There is always a kick back. The kick back eventually hurts us more than the feeling which we sought to quench. The temporary fix is short lived and we pay a price much higher than we had ever thought, expected or bargained for. Help is available.

We can work by Skype. Send me an email.

————————————————————————-

Listen to my Ujima radio interviews on Sex & Love addiction. 

Is it all in a name, nothing in a name or truly a gender split as to which gender suffers from which of those Addiction?

Internet pornography and cybersex has got its grip in many many lives. Folks need to take individual responsibilty, but to ignore the impact of neurochemical effects on the brain to keep doing it, is remiss. Give yourself a break. Know the full picture as you self condemn and fight a battle to reduce and/or stop.

Addiction is a sign of past trauma. The function which the addiction plays needs to be uncovered if you are to regain control.

Is it that Sex Addiction and Love Addiction are about self-soothing; a way to deal with pain in our lives; perhaps anxiety reducer; a way to deal with issues unresolved from childhood – that often we have no conscious knowledge about?

Self-soothing arises because of stress, anxiety, anger, depression, relational conflicts and many others. It is a form of pain relief. But it is short lived and to remain influential (always temporariy), the acting out may need to increase in intensity.

Would you like to have some therapy via Skype?

May be some motivational work to prepare you for some work toward getting ready for change?

*********STOP PRESS****************

WHAT MAY BE BRISTOL’S FIRST WOMEN PARTNER’S SUPPORT/THERAPY GROUP IS DUE TO BE LAUNCHED BY GARY IN FEBRUARY 2012. HIGHLY CONFIDENTIAL IN ITS COMPOSITION, IT IS WHAT MANY MANY PARTNERS HAVE WANTED FOR A LONG TIME.

CONTACT GARY FOR FURTHER DETAILS.

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Buy for £7.99!

Bringing colour back to life

Is there something about yesterday’s child – in me – which causes me to do relationships the way that I do?

Listen to my Ujima radio interviews on Sex & Love addiction.

“So much of the past can live in the present. Listen to Gary during a radio interview talking about the adverse impact on our lives that unresolved past experiences might be having on us. That which we are aware of, we have an opportunity to affect and endeavour to change the impact. That which we are not aware of as having an influence upon us, we can do little about.”

“During this portion of a radio interview, Gary talks about a journey that some of us might be ready to take. The aim being to move stuff that goes on in the unconscious and affects us, into the conscious so that we can consider what (if any) change we might want to effect.

At GaryMcFarlane.com, we’ve decided to take things a step further and offer our services and relationship advice online.

Whilst one-to-one counselling is always a good idea, many people find the process of visiting a relationship specialist a barrier to doing anything about their failing relationships, sexual issues or the lonliness they feel as a single person. I hope you find enough information here about relationship counselling that will encourage you to take the next steps to putting love back into your relationship, partnership, marriage or dealing with the issues of sex or singleness. Make that call.

—————————————————————————

Not about sex, all about an addiction!

Sex Addiction is very little to do with sex, but all to do with Addictions. People become addicted as they find a way to soothe the pain of life’s problems, conflicts, stresses, anxieties, concerns, relationship pain, losses, concerns and heartaches. Pain hurts!

The brain will do all that it must do to quench pain and re-establish harmony.  There are different parts of the brain with different functions. The brain hates pain. It loves pleasure. Neurochemicals are released and affect the brain in certain situations and extreme environments. The logical thinking side of the brain frquently gets overridden by the feeling side of the brain and causes us to go against logic, in favour of feelings; feelings drive us to mask pain with “false” intimacies.

Problem! There is always a kick back. The kick back eventually hurts us more than the feeling which we sought to quench. The temporary fix is short lived and we pay a price much higher than we had ever thought, expected or bargained for. Help is available.

We can work by Skype. Send me an email.

*********STOP PRESS****************

WHAT MAY BE BRISTOL’S FIRST WOMEN PARTNER’S SUPPORT/THERAPY GROUP IS DUE TO BE LAUNCHED BY GARY IN FEBRUARY 2012. HIGHLY CONFIDENTIAL IN ITS COMPOSITION, IT IS WHAT MANY MANY PARTNERS HAVE WANTED FOR A LONG TIME.

CONTACT GARY FOR FURTHER DETAILS.

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