Click here

 3^rd Floor, Trelawny House, Surrey Street, Bristol Bs2 8PS        Gary McFarlane  0786 609 7247         £30

 Email: gary.g.mcfarlane@blueyonder.co.uk    Website: www.sexaddictiontreatment.co.uk               www.garymcfarlane.com

Highly confidential – for women partners ONLY of sex addicts             Pre-registration is essential for admission.

 Will it ever get better? Can he really stop the behaviours? Will I ever be able to trust him again? How do I know the children are safe? How do I compete with that stuff? Was it my fault or did I contribute? Was I not enough or good enough? How could I have been so stupid? How is it that I did not heed the signs that I now look back on and can see them?

 What do I do now? Do I really believe there is such a thing as sex addiction? Isn’t it just greed for more sex? What a nightmare? Where can I turn for help? What if people find out? How can I bear to carry this on my own? What about the children?

 I am scared to join some form of women’s group. Their problems are not like mine. What if it gets out. My husband won’t agree to me attending a group. He is getting his help, but I have to hold on in there and not tell anyone in case.

 It’s just not right. It’s just not fair. This is my life. He has ruined it. What am I going to do?

 A past career as a Solicitor of some 25 years equips him well with the dynamics of understanding and balancing confidentiality at a high level, with discretion, tact and discipline.

 Women partners of sex addicts are frequently overlooked when it comes to treatment regimes – which typically focus on the man. Here is an introductory, highly confidential workshop for women ONLY to consider just some of the issues raised about – if you are able to put some trust in this facility which is there for you to get the help you need.

 Call me for a chat.

 Why group? You will face the strongest of resistance about getting involved. Many women will, however, testify to the fact that joining a group was the best outcome for their recovery. Why? The relief that other progressive, “got it all together women” are similarly affected! There is immediate shame reduction when you see normal, every day women facing the very same issues. Remember “Shame” is the base for keeping the men’s addiction firmly in place and shame will similarly keep you from the group.

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Sex addiction might become formally recognised as a psychiatric disorder and therefore accessible for funding through the NHS and private medical insurance. It is a condition which is increasingly being treated by therapists skilled in this area of practice. Those who are addicted know all too well the mental health toll which an addiction can take.

The NHS does not currently recognise sex addiction as a condition for which NHS resources are made available in its own right.

The American Psychiatric Association (APA) is the body which updates the definitive guide to what constitutes a genuine psychological disorder rather than an imaginary one. Their decision as to whether it will be classified is awaited. Watch this space!!

*********STOP PRESS****************

WHAT MAY BE BRISTOL’S FIRST WOMEN PARTNER’S SUPPORT/THERAPY GROUP IS DUE TO BE LAUNCHED BY GARY IN FEBRUARY 2012. HIGHLY CONFIDENTIAL IN ITS COMPOSITION, IT IS WHAT MANY MANY PARTNERS HAVE WANTED FOR A LONG TIME.

CONTACT GARY FOR FURTHER DETAILS.

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Partners information pack

Female partners of Sex Addicts – receive your “Partner’s information pack” by sending to me a request by email.

Click here

Workshop for Woman partners of sex addicts   Saturday 15 June 2013  10.30am to 12noon

 3^rd Floor, Trelawny House, Surrey Street, Bristol Bs2 8PS        Gary McFarlane  0786 609 7247         £30

 Email: gary.g.mcfarlane@blueyonder.co.uk    Website: www.sexaddictiontreatment.co.uk               www.garymcfarlane.com

Highly confidential – for women partners ONLY of sex addicts          Pre-registration is essential for admission.

 Will it ever get better? Can he really stop the behaviours? Will I ever be able to trust him again? How do I know the children are safe? How do I compete with that stuff? Was it my fault or did I contribute? Was I not enough or good enough? How could I have been so stupid? How is it that I did not heed the signs that I now look back on and can see them?

 What do I do now? Do I really believe there is such a thing as sex addiction? Isn’t it just greed for more sex? What a nightmare? Where can I turn for help? What if people find out? How can I bear to carry this on my own? What about the children?

 I am scared to join some form of women’s group. Their problems are not like mine. What if it gets out. My husband won’t agree to me attending a group. He is getting his help, but I have to hold on in there and not tell anyone in case.

 It’s just not right. It’s just not fair. This is my life. He has ruined it. What am I going to do?

 A past career as a Solicitor of some 25 years equips him well with the dynamics of understanding and balancing confidentiality at a high level, with discretion, tact and discipline.

 Women partners of sex addicts are frequently overlooked when it comes to treatment regimes – which typically focus on the man. Here is an introductory, highly confidential workshop for women ONLY to consider just some of the issues raised about – if you are able to put some trust in this facility which is there for you to get the help you need.

 Call me for a chat.

 Why group? You will face the strongest of resistance about getting involved. Many women will, however, testify to the fact that joining a group was the best outcome for their recovery. Why? The relief that other progressive, “got it all together women” are similarly affected! There is immediate shame reduction when you see normal, every day women facing the very same issues. Remember “Shame” is the base for keeping the men’s addiction firmly in place and shame will similarly keep you from the group.

**************************************************************************************

Not about sex, all about an addiction!

Sex Addiction is very little to do with sex, but all to do with Addictions. People become addicted as they find a way to soothe the pain of life’s problems, conflicts, stresses, anxieties, concerns, relationship pain, losses, concerns and heartaches. Pain hurts!

The brain will do all that it must do to quench pain and re-establish harmony. There are different parts of the brain with different functions. The brain hates pain. It loves pleasure. Neurochemicals are released and affect the brain in certain situations and extreme environments.

The logical thinking side of the brain frquently gets overridden by the feeling side of the brain and causes us to go against logic, in favour of feelings; feelings drive us to mask pain with “false” intimacies. Problem! There is always a kick back. The kick back eventually hurts us more than the feeling which we sought to quench. The temporary fix is short lived and we pay a price much higher than we had ever thought, expected or bargained for. Help is available. We can work by Skype. Send me an email.

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Cycle of Addiction

            →    Shame, Guilt, distress, Despair, stress, anxiety, loneliness, low self-esteem   →                    

          ↑                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                             ↓                          ↓                                                                                                                                                                                                                                         ↓

                                                                                              ↓

After acting out, the tension release                                                Need to get rid of those feelings of shame, Guilt, stress etc,

is short lived and a low is experience after the high                                   therefore preoccupation with thoughts of acting out.

The Shame, Guilt, distress, Despair, Stress, etc                                     Those thoughts become a part of the ritual and a getting

from which relief was sought, returns with a vengeance.                  ready to act out adds to the increasing sexual arousal.

The desire to self soothe builds up over time  and the cycle                                                                          ↓

starts again.

   ↑                                                                                                                                                              ↓ 

                      ←        The acting out/compulsive behaviour kicks in. ie viewing porn,             ←

                                         masturbating, prostitution, cruising, using escorts or cybersex etc

Now available from AMAZON.COM and AMAZON.CO.UK – ISBN 9781463556952

*********STOP PRESS****************

WHAT MAY BE BRISTOL’S FIRST WOMEN PARTNER’S SUPPORT/THERAPY GROUP IS DUE TO BE LAUNCHED BY GARY IN FEBRUARY 2012. HIGHLY CONFIDENTIAL IN ITS COMPOSITION, IT IS WHAT MANY MANY PARTNERS HAVE WANTED FOR A LONG TIME.

CONTACT GARY FOR FURTHER DETAILS.

*************************************

Sex Addiction is very little to do with sex, but all to do with Addictions. People become addicted as they find a way to soothe the pain of life’s problems, conflicts, stresses, anxieties, concerns, relationship pain, losses, concerns and heartaches. Pain hurts!

The brain will do all that it must do to quench pain and re-establish harmony.  There are different parts of the brain with different functions. The brain hates pain. It loves pleasure. Neurochemicals are released and affect the brain in certain situations and extreme environments. The logical thinking side of the brain frquently gets overridden by the feeling side of the brain and causes us to go against logic, in favour of feelings; feelings drive us to mask pain with “false” intimacies.

Problem! There is always a kick back. The kick back eventually hurts us more than the feeling which we sought to quench. The temporary fix is short lived and we pay a price much higher than we had ever thought, expected or bargained for. Help is available.

We can work by Skype. Send me an email.

————————————————————————-

Listen to my Ujima radio interviews on Sex & Love addiction. 

Is it all in a name, nothing in a name or truly a gender split as to which gender suffers from which of those Addiction?

Internet pornography and cybersex has got its grip in many many lives. Folks need to take individual responsibilty, but to ignore the impact of neurochemical effects on the brain to keep doing it, is remiss. Give yourself a break. Know the full picture as you self condemn and fight a battle to reduce and/or stop.

Addiction is a sign of past trauma. The function which the addiction plays needs to be uncovered if you are to regain control.

Is it that Sex Addiction and Love Addiction are about self-soothing; a way to deal with pain in our lives; perhaps anxiety reducer; a way to deal with issues unresolved from childhood – that often we have no conscious knowledge about?

Self-soothing arises because of stress, anxiety, anger, depression, relational conflicts and many others. It is a form of pain relief. But it is short lived and to remain influential (always temporariy), the acting out may need to increase in intensity.

Would you like to have some therapy via Skype?

May be some motivational work to prepare you for some work toward getting ready for change?

*********STOP PRESS****************

WHAT MAY BE BRISTOL’S FIRST WOMEN PARTNER’S SUPPORT/THERAPY GROUP IS DUE TO BE LAUNCHED BY GARY IN FEBRUARY 2012. HIGHLY CONFIDENTIAL IN ITS COMPOSITION, IT IS WHAT MANY MANY PARTNERS HAVE WANTED FOR A LONG TIME.

CONTACT GARY FOR FURTHER DETAILS.

*************************************

Partners information pack

Female partners of Sex Addicts – receive your “Partner’s information pack” by sending to me a request by email.

Buy for £7.99!

Bringing colour back to life

Is there something about yesterday’s child – in me – which causes me to do relationships the way that I do?

Listen to my Ujima radio interviews on Sex & Love addiction.

“So much of the past can live in the present. Listen to Gary during a radio interview talking about the adverse impact on our lives that unresolved past experiences might be having on us. That which we are aware of, we have an opportunity to affect and endeavour to change the impact. That which we are not aware of as having an influence upon us, we can do little about.”

“During this portion of a radio interview, Gary talks about a journey that some of us might be ready to take. The aim being to move stuff that goes on in the unconscious and affects us, into the conscious so that we can consider what (if any) change we might want to effect.

At GaryMcFarlane.com, we’ve decided to take things a step further and offer our services and relationship advice online.

Whilst one-to-one counselling is always a good idea, many people find the process of visiting a relationship specialist a barrier to doing anything about their failing relationships, sexual issues or the lonliness they feel as a single person. I hope you find enough information here about relationship counselling that will encourage you to take the next steps to putting love back into your relationship, partnership, marriage or dealing with the issues of sex or singleness. Make that call.

—————————————————————————

Not about sex, all about an addiction!

Sex Addiction is very little to do with sex, but all to do with Addictions. People become addicted as they find a way to soothe the pain of life’s problems, conflicts, stresses, anxieties, concerns, relationship pain, losses, concerns and heartaches. Pain hurts!

The brain will do all that it must do to quench pain and re-establish harmony.  There are different parts of the brain with different functions. The brain hates pain. It loves pleasure. Neurochemicals are released and affect the brain in certain situations and extreme environments. The logical thinking side of the brain frquently gets overridden by the feeling side of the brain and causes us to go against logic, in favour of feelings; feelings drive us to mask pain with “false” intimacies.

Problem! There is always a kick back. The kick back eventually hurts us more than the feeling which we sought to quench. The temporary fix is short lived and we pay a price much higher than we had ever thought, expected or bargained for. Help is available.

We can work by Skype. Send me an email.

*********STOP PRESS****************

WHAT MAY BE BRISTOL’S FIRST WOMEN PARTNER’S SUPPORT/THERAPY GROUP IS DUE TO BE LAUNCHED BY GARY IN FEBRUARY 2012. HIGHLY CONFIDENTIAL IN ITS COMPOSITION, IT IS WHAT MANY MANY PARTNERS HAVE WANTED FOR A LONG TIME.

CONTACT GARY FOR FURTHER DETAILS.

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