However, not all exchanges are that obvious. There’s a ton of people out there that would trade your emotional needs for a buck any day of the week. Here’s a few things you can do to spot them, and not become a victim yourself:

1.) Look for clues in their responses

The first basic one is ‘are they actually talking to me? Or are they sending me long winded messages that try to butter me up in some way or another? When most people have a discussion, there is usually an exchange of words back and forth discussing each one’s interests. If the person is telling you how much they adore you, and they want to be with you but can’t (especially due to monetary reasons). Red flags should shoot up.

2.) Ask thought provoking questions

Don’t just ask questions, ask ones that will get them to think. If they are trying to scam you, they are also probably trying to scam a hundred other people as well. Start asking thought provoking questions, and see what responses you get. If they start responding by ‘I don’t know about that, but I know I want you’, they probably don’t have the time or patience to start answering questions, since all they really want is your money. Someone who is genuinely interested in you will respond directly to you, hopefully give you good solid answers, and not just fluff you off.

3.) Don’t send money

This is a pretty basic one. As soon as someone asks for money, for whatever reason, either from online dating, or a man who has money in a bank in Nigeria that wants to share it with you. Say no.

4.) Trace the email.

This one’s a bit more technical, but if you exchanged emails, and that person is writing out of a let’s say Russia, you can do a quick check and see if they are in fact writing from where they say. Now, this isn’t the 100% sure-fire-way to check if someone is scamming you. However, if you’re having your suspicions already, this is good way to help reinforce your doubts.

Here are the steps to trace it:

a.) Copy the email headers from the senders email.

Outlook 2007

Right click the email message in the inbox window pane, and select message options. The headers are under ‘Internet Headers’

Gmail

Select the message you want to check, go to the small down arrow to the left of ‘Reply’ on the message. Select ‘Show Original Message’

Hotmail

Right click the message you want to check, and select ‘view source’

Yahoo Mail

Right click on the message and select ‘View Full Headers’

Other mail clients will have their own methods for accessing the headers. Consult your email client’s help page to find out how to display them.

b.) Go to a website that will trace the header for you

To trace an email, I use a site such as http://www.ip-adress.com/trace_email/ or a similar one (there are tons out there). All you need to do is copy the headers into it, and voila! It comes up with the senders location.

With these tips in mind, you should be able to combat, and the very least minimize your chances of getting scammed online. Always be on the lookout, and stay smart when talking to people!

Here’s an excerpt from the email she sent to me, after I sent her a pretty lame message of ‘So what part of the city are you from? What are your interests?’

Excerpt from Olga’s last email:
“Hi my dear love!!!!!!!!!!!! I must say that I am in Russia. I make mistake saying I am from your country! I wish to go there! It is my dream!! Today I ran in Internet – cafe what to check up a mail in the box. I very much was delighted having received your letter. I with impatience wait for your letters and when they come I I jump with happiness and it is the truth. I send to you the new photo and I think that you will be glad to this. I am very glad, that we find out each other better. It seems to me, at us much in common. I am glad, that have met you. You the kind and fair person.And kindness and honesty it is very important in attitudes with people, I very much appreciate it. I already wrote to you, that I want to build strong and loving family. And mutual respect, honesty and love really important for family happiness, I so think. Today I have told to mum about you. We talked about it much. I dream to go to meet you with all love and devotion!!!! But – it is true – we do not have much money…”

I won’t even start picking apart that email, as you can probably see there is a whole lot of BS, and not a lot of ‘natural response’.  I especially love the ‘No money part’. I can already see where this is going. So I quickly responded with a final email of ‘Nice Knowing you, not interested in cross-continent-relationships, don’t let the door hit you on the way out of the cafe’.

It goes without saying, never give any money to someone you want to date, and be especially weary of people from other countries than your own that want your money.

Day A

Morning – 20 Minute Run

Gym – Chest, Shoulders, Arms

Night – 20 Minute Run

Day B

Morning – 20 Minute Run

Gym – Aerobics, Back, Legs

Night – 20 Minute Run

The reason I do the morning and night runs is to keep my metabolism going, so I can burn more effectively throughout the day rather than one burst in the morning. I do alternate weight training in between, not to for mass, but to lose weight (First lose the fat, then gain the muscle). Is this the best way? You can look at three different websites, and each one will say a different thing. All I know is that it works for me.

My diet isn’t so much of a diet as it is a healthy calorie intake. I take in 2,000 calories a day, majority from protein such as meat and dairy, the rest from fruits, vegetables and grains (pasta and whole wheat).  Although I’m counting calories, I don’t recommend it. It’s hard to do, and honestly, as long as you eat only healthy foods, and stop eating when you’re comfortable (not full), you’ll be fine.

The one thing I didn’t do though, was the whole ‘eat 6 small meals a day’ that so many people recommend. Great idea I’m sure, but not for me, I just don’t have the time for it. I think the best diet is the one you can maintain, not the one that everyone tries to shove down your throat. Pick a plan that will help you lose weight, not the one that will help you lose weight faster, but the one that will fit into your lifestyle.

For instance, last year, I weighed even more than I do now. I lost quite a few pounds over a few months due to one thing. Taking my coffee with just milk. I used to take cream and sugar, but I cut it out completely. That alone helped me lose weight (I’m a big coffee drinker), plus, I tried sugar again in my coffee recently, I don’t even like it!

So make a choice that you can do and maintain. Challenge yourself, but not the point where you will be unhappy and quit. Moderation is key.

We went to Montana’s this time. She was hungry for burgers, and I was generally just hungry. So that worked out. We started having quite a few drinks, and she told me her cousin Felicia worked in the kitchen here. Apparently, Felicia’s shift was up, so she sat down to join us. The two girls started drinking heavily, and the conversation shifted between ‘girl-chat’ and ‘when I’m going to go do Alexa’. Needless to say, they were pretty blunt. Alexa asked me if I wanted to do a threesome with Felicia and herself.

I sat stunned. Not because they asked, not because I thought I really am not attracted to Felicia…but because they were cousins. I just blurted out ‘ummm…aren’t you cousins? Isn’t that incest?’.

They seemed appalled that I asked that, and asked why I cared. I just told them that’s kinda weird. That however, did not seem to go over too well. They both looked at me annoyed, and started talking amongst themselves (in Pig Latin apparently, they told me earlier that they are both fluent in it) We finished up our drinks in pretty much silence….and we all went home (Well…at least I did…Not sure what they did!)

Well, if the first date with Alexa went well…the second date sure didn’t.

Here is a selection of ads I found from different time periods (1800’s – 2000’s) about health, fitness and dieting.

Why bother with diets and exercise programs when you can digest a tapeworm and lose it without trying! That is until the tapeworm grows larger and you end up with a massive stomach…and coincidentally…it not only banished the fat, but it also banished all vitamins, minerals, and all other things necessary to live a healthy life.

Now we can’t blame Luckie’s cigarettes really here for saying that they are good for the health. EVERYONE was told cigarettes were healthy, they even gave them to soldiers in WW2 to suppress their hunger! I particularly liked this ad because Luckies prevents your throat from being irritated and coughing! (That is until you die of lung cancer in 30 years)

Note: Is it just me, or does the Doctor in the picture have that Crazy-Nazi-Scientist look to him?

Sugar can also be the willpower you need to get really fat! Now…on a serious note, I believe these ads were aimed at kids and teens who needed to keep their energy up…or they would die. Of course, this didn’t happen, and you ended up with alot of familys that had over hyperactive fat kids.

…and the girl in the picture really, really seems to enjoy her ice cream.

I will never look at the ‘Jolly Green Giant’ the same way again. You want to know how to get your kids to eat their greens? You threaten that a 600ft stop-motion giant will come and kill them. At least that’s what they appeared to do in the 1940s.

Nothing says ‘come get have me boys’ than announcing that you’re on the pill to four half naked guys on the beach!

‘Less Wrinkles in 60 minutes’ ‘Simulated Imagery, Results Not typical‘ ….You think????

We talked about generic stuff, the kind of stuff you don’t really care about, but say to make conversation (‘Do you like Pizza?’ ‘Oh my god! So do I! that’s amazing!!!).

The sushi was pretty good. It was her favorite restaurant and she frequents it on a weekly basis. I haven’t eaten sushi too many times in the past, and to me, they all taste the same. I think I’m more of a ’steak and burgers’ sort of guy, but this stuff is starting to grow on me.

After dinner we talked for awhile, had a drink. She apparently has been doing this ‘online dating’ for quite awhile now (over 3 years), and her experiences were pretty good. We took a small walk around the block, hugged and said goodnight.

For a first date, I’d say it went pretty well!

10.) Borat’s dating service skit

Borat is one of those things that people either love or hate. I personally think he’s pretty funny. But you may differ on that. However, it’s hard to deny that this skit does have it’s moments!

9.) Eddie Murphy on the SNL ‘Lowered Expectations’ Skit

Eddie Murphy at his best telling us about his foot fetish and his thing for women with large hands. Where did the old Eddie Murphy go? I’d rather see this skit or anything pre-90’s than watch ‘The Klumps’ or his remake of ‘Dr. Doolittle’ any day.

8.) Smack The Pony Dating Agency Video

There so much truth in this sketch that I just had to include it!

7.) Whitest Kids You’ll Know Dating Game Skit

For the record, I actually thought the movie Ms. March (by these guys) was pretty funny. I also thought this skit was hilarious. But be warned! *****CONTAINS LOTS OF SWEARING*****

6.) MADTV’s The Dating Game Skit

Hilarious skit where A woman has the choice between a swimming instructor, Saddam Hussein, and Kim-Jong Il.

5.) The Date Scene from Bad Boys 2

Martin Lawrence and Will Smith introduce themselves to the 15-year old kid who wants to take out Martin Lawrence’s daughter. Hilarious. *****CONTAINS LOTS OF SWEARING*****

4.) Little Britian’s ‘Mr.Mann looking for a date skit’

From UK’s Little Britain, Mr. Mann wants a woman…

3.) Standup Richard Jeni on dating

The late Richard Jeni gives us his interpretation of the dating scene.

2.) In Living Color Dating Game Skit

Jim Carey as the host, and Jamie Foxx as his ‘Wanda the ugliest woman in the world’ character. It’s hilarious. I love the bachelors reactions when they finally confront Wanda.

1.) Rowan Atkison’s Skit on the basics of dating

Rowan Atkinson is classic, and not just for his stuff on Mr. Bean. He’s absolutely one of my favorite comedians, and this skit of him demonstrating what to do (and not do) during a date cracks me up.

There was something odd about though about her message. I think it had too much of the …. ‘Hi, I love you, you are my soulmate’ creepy vibe to it. Actually, it almost felt like a person wrote it in English and was trying to sound like they couldn’t speak it by Yoda-izng it to things like ‘Day beautiful today is it not?’, and ‘Friend you are mine forever! Make happy me!’

But beggars can’t be choosers, so I sent her a message back.

The other message I received was from a girl named Alexa. While she didn’t have the ‘Supermodel-Russian-beauty-model-shots-that-I’m-pretty-sure-are-fake’ thing going for her (which is a good thing), she had a really cute pic, and we held a nice email conversation. So I set up a date with her at a local sushi restaurant she wanted to go to.

I had a massive running total of…ZERO. That’s right, It was the same number that I joined with! (Coincidentally, that same number is also the percentage of likelihood that Elisha Cuthbert is going to come over and dig into my pants.)

It’s pretty clear that there isn’t tons of ladies looking for a King Kong sized man at the moment. Maybe I should actually ‘write’ to a girl instead of deluding myself into believing that some smoking hot chick is going to message me with ‘Hi, my name’s Bambi! I like to sunbathe in the warm hot sun, with hot oil all over me!’.

I read over a few of these profiles, a few caught my eye, and I sent out a generic ‘hi! how are you!’, but I didn’t get any responses. (My favorites were the ones where the smoking hot girl in a bikini with the focus on her bountiful chest with profile reading how ’she doesn’t want to be looked upon as an object’). I contemplated sending myself a few messages, but I thought I’d give myself another week before I reduce myself to that level of sadness.

I was at a new years eve party at her cousins house, with tons of people. We all got insanely drunk, and a bunch of us crashed in the living room. Around 5am, I wake up to to hear my girlfriend balling her eyes out. I ask her whats wrong, thinking that some horrible thing happened to her in the past couple of hours while I was out, and she tells me she was cheating on me with her boss (Who’s 30 years her senior) for the past three months.

Happy New Year.

We talked a few times for the past few months, but I’m pretty sure the door shut on us ever ‘getting back together’ when she tried to explain that her boss was more mature than me, to which I started laughing saying ‘well I should hope so! He’s 30 years older than me!!’

So now I figure I better move on. I haven’t really ever ‘dated’, I’ve always moved from one long term relationship to the next quite quickly. However, my best friend Rachel met her fiancee Rob through online dating last year. So I figure I’d give it a shot.

I picked a dating site, signed up, and quickly whipped up some boring profile that seemed to say ‘Hi, I like you, do you want to be friends?’, rather than ‘My name is Encrio…the Spanish lover, women coo and faint at the mere mention of my name!’ But heck it’s a start. Besides, I’ve gained so much weight over the past six months that I think I would have a greater chance of being mistaken for a Goodyear blimp rather than a charming Latin lover.

In any case, I filled out some stuff about what I like, my hobbies, then I put up a few pictures that tried to make me look skinnier, but that’s like an elephant trying to hide behind a tree. It just ain’t gonna happen.

If it worked for my friend, and countless others, the dating thing could work for me.

Let’s see how it goes…