Dating and Relationships

Dating after Divorce - Re-entering the Dating Scene

2011-12-20T10:12:00.000-08:00

Dating after a divorce can be a scary thing, especially after a long term relationship or a relationship which left you scarred. It is very important to fix yourself before re-entering the dating scene. Do not rush into anything before you gain back your self confidence and overcome your insecurities. Don’t let others push you into the dating game until you are ready and have the right attitude. Given below is a Guest Post from David Stevenson on Tips for Men and Woman looking for Dating after Divorce.

How to start dating again after Divorce? For many people who have gone through a divorce it can be an extremely stressful time. It can also leave you asking many questions as to why it happened or whether you could have done anything differently.

The whole experience even if it is amicable will leave some sort of mark on you, and one of the hardest periods can often be the divorce settlement issue which can be taxing on partners, families and even friends.

However, once the process is over you have a new life to contend with and have to realise things will be different. Rather than making decisions that will affect other people you will have to start making choices that directly affect you. And for many new divorcees this can be quite difficult as they have spent most of their adult life in a co-dependent relationship. Furthermore, for lots of divorcees the idea of going on a date can be quite alien and a very nerve racking thought. Ideally, if you have come out of a long-term relationship or marriage it is best to let the dust settle so you can make decisions about what you want to do with your life. It can also be a good time to find new hobbies to help build your confidence, focus the mind and allows you to meet new people.

For example, taking a dance class can be a good way to let your creative side out while coming across others who are interested in similar things to you. One thing for sure is that at some point in the future friends and family members will be encouraging you to “get off the shelf”, which is very difficult to do at times.

In some cases they will even set-up blind dates for you. And if they do arrange this and you are feeling confident enough why not go? Most of the time if you do go on one of these little rendezvous you end up having a better time than you thought you would.

I’m not saying that dating after divorce is easy because for everyone it is different. However, there is no reason to believe that just because you are no longer married that it should stop you enjoying your life and in some cases finding love.

The whole process is about having fun and coming to terms with your new lifestyle. One part of the dating game that can be extremely enjoyable is going to a speed dating session with a group of friends.This allows you to be more relaxed, meet new people and let your hair down. It is important to remember that I’m not saying dating is a way to replace the love you once had or still have for someone – but by taking the leap it can help you make a positive move forward in your life.

About the Author: David Stevenson is a regular blogger and contributor to dating and trade sites. He has experience of working in several newsrooms as a freelance journalist and is based in the UK.
Image : zhouxuan12345678@Flickr

5 Ways to Keep the Spark alive in Your Marriage

2011-11-15T23:17:00.001-08:00

It takes time and efforts to maintain and grow a marital relationship. Keeping the Spark in Your Marriage alive throughout is not a very easy task. Things many people consider insignificant and tend to ignore can result in marital boredom and ruin the relationship. Given below is a Guest Post by Blogger Mary Edwards on the different ways to keep the married life fresh and strong.

At some point in time, everyone sees those married couples that still seem so blissfully in love after years of marriage and you stop to wonder what it is that they’re doing that’s so right. Let’s be honest, marriage is not an easy task to undertake. Living with the same person day in and day out can be a trying experience, even in the most solid of relationships. Little things can start to add up into things that are driving you crazy. Add in work, pets, and kids to the mix and sometimes it can seem overwhelming. However despite all the challenges that accompany marriage, there are ways to keep that fire ignited.

Never stop dating: When you first got together with your spouse you probably went out on dates regularly. Now that you’re married you still need to go on dates without the kids and without any technology. Dates are a time that you focus on one another with no distractions. That means no phone calls, texts or emails. This is a time to focus on and celebrate one another.
Don’t stop trying to impress your partner: Remember how you used to get dressed up just to see your partner, or how you planned little surprises for them for no other reason than just to see them smile? You still need to do little things every now and then to impress your significant other. Maybe it’s buying them flowers randomly, or leaving a note telling them you love them in their lunch. These little gestures can go a long way in showing that you still are completely enamored with them.
Make time to talk: Whether it’s carving out time for a cup of coffee together in the morning or relishing a glass of wine together at night, set aside time every day to talk to one another. Far too often people rush around every day and never say more than a few words to their spouse. Be sure to ask them how their day was and really listen to what they have to say. Show them that their day is important to you.
Find something to do together: Take up a hobby that you both enjoy. Maybe it’s going on a weekly hike or taking a photography class or just buying different Group ons to try out new activities. One of the key elements to keeping your marriage fresh is branching out and trying new things – if all else fails you’ll at least get a good laugh and a story out of the experience!
Embrace Time to Yourself: One of the most important parts of having a successful marriage is making the time to do things by yourself that you enjoy. Too often we lose sight of who we are as an individual which inevitably results in the infamous mid-life crisis. Make time to do the things you love to do by yourself, even if it’s just reading a book for a few hours or going golfing a few times a month. With the divorce rate steadily climbing, marriage can seem like an insurmountable task sometimes. However it’s a journey that is continually evolving and one that should be openly embraced. It won’t always be perfect, but who wants perfect anyway?

About the Author: Mary Edwards is one of the contributors and editors for dating sites. She is passionate about thought leadership writing, regularly contributes to various career, social media, public relations, branding, and parenting and online dating communities. She can be reached at edwardsmary936@gmail.com

Image Courtesy : Marcel Oosterwijk

First Date Etiquette's for Men - What to do and what not to do

2011-10-24T09:25:00.000-07:00

If you don’t want your first date to be the last you should be very careful that you maintain the correct body language in front of your date. There are many right and wrong signs Guys and Girls use while they are on a date. I shall discuss some of them briefly so that if you can correct the mistakes you were making if any. And if you have been using the right moves you can feel more positive and confident inside which are good qualities to develop. So check out if you have been giving the wrong or right signs on your first date. Your First Date etiquette's play a major role in enticing your date to continue seeing you again.

A few days ago while talking to an ex colleague I asked him if he got a girlfriend by now or not. This guy as far as I remembered never was into any steady relationship. While we worked together he was fascinated by me but I never encouraged it as I was in a committed relationship. He told me that no girl is interested in him to the extent of making him her boyfriend. This Guy whom I am talking works in a reputed Bank as a Manager and is in a position where he needs to interact with a lot of people. So there is no way opportunity of meeting new people (read girls) would have been a problem. I suggested that we meet out for a Coffee on Sunday as we have not met for over 2 years and that he can accompany me to a movie which I had wanted to see. He agreed and we met at the Shopping Mall near my place. I noticed that he was giving a lot of wrong signals while we were together. After coming back home I thought that this could be a nice and useful topic to write on as many people are unaware of things they do wrong and unknowingly which may offend their date.

Things to remember on a First Date
Your First Date etiquette plays a major role in enticing your date to meet you again. So here are some things to remember when you meet someone on a date for the first time.

Are you listening or are you the dominating talker? It is wrong when you dominate the conversation and not let your date to even open their mouth. A good date would be where both the people are equally participating. Ask open ended questions to your date if they are too shy and do not talk much to make them comfortable enough to talk to you. Make the effort to lean toward her. It shows you're interested. Avoid bragging about your Bank Account and position in the society/ institution to impress your date as it is considered rude. There are many topics to avoid on a first date, steer clear of these taboo topics. Your looks and confidence will communicate your social worth without you saying it. Also make it a point to listen while your date talks. Let your date know that you are interested in the conversation and paying attention by nodding. Also asking questions related to the conversation is a good idea. However, it is important that you do not overdo it or nod absent minded without listening. Do not fake it but listen to what your date is saying genuinely. Also it is advisable to keep your mobile phone on silent or vibration mode and give your undivided attention to your date.

Physical Contact: When you are on a date it is very important for you to maintain the right amount of physical contact and not overdo it. I remember a Guy who almost made me feel threatened by his behavior. I went to meet this ex-colleague of mine for a Coffee when he called me after getting my telephone number from a best friend who still works in that Organization. Though I and this Guy used to interact at work our communication was strictly professional and we were never what anyone could call friends. When he saw me at the Coffee Shop he hugged me so tight that I thought that my bones are broken. It would have been okay if he welcomed me with a hand shake or a gentle one shoulder hug (I can even justify that as we have worked together for almost a year and we were seeing after a year). My terror did not end there as this Guy was playing footsie with me despite of my best efforts to avoid it. When I suggested that he come and sit on my side giving space to the couple who was looking for a seat in the busy Coffee Shop he came and sat so close to me though there was plenty of space that I felt that he would pounce at me any moment. It goes without saying that it was the last time I met him and despite of many calls and efforts from his side I did not want to meet him again. My point here is that it is very important that you decide on the type of physical contact after taking into consideration the time you have known each other or the closeness you have with your date. If your date is your friend it may be okay to do a gentle one shoulder hug or a kiss on cheek but if your date is someone who you do not know well it is safe to go for a hand shake. If you are romantically interested in your date avoid the pat on the back. You can also compliment on your date or offer a flower to be more impressive if you are looking for a warm response from your date. Avoid sitting too close to your date to the extent that they feel uncomfortable and avoid too much physical touch especially if it is a first date. You can do that if you get positive signs of interest from your date or after a couple of meetings. It is better to be safe than sorry as you may come out too strong and scare your date off. Though you should sit with your body and feet pointing towards the person you are having the conversation with it is advisable to avoid touching their feet with your feet. Sitting with body and feet pointed sideways gives a sign of disinterest from your side to your date which I am sure is not what you want.

Smile and Eye Contact: Maintaining eye contact with your date can give a feeling of genuine interest and honesty. However make sure that you don’t overdo it by staring at them and making them feel threatened. Let your glance be casual but firm and not too intense. Avert your eyes away for a few seconds before you look into their eyes again. While a casual glance is okay avoid staring at the assets of your date. Avoid stay eyes and keep your eyes set on your dates face even if there is a Miss Universe having dinner alone in the same room as you. Some people are seen watching the TV at the Coffee Shop or Restaurant while on a date which is very rude as well. It is advisable that you wear a smile while on a date. As per a quote by Phyllis Diller, ‘smile is a curve that sets everything straight’. Smiling is a reassuring and welcoming gesture but make sure you do not overdo it and look like a joker.

Being in Sync with your Date: Being in sync with your date is a great way to show your interest. When we mirror someone else, they tend to feel more comfortable around us.

Avoid Defensive Body Language: Body language is the best non verbal communication that exists between people. Right body language is in fact the single most effective way of making a good impression right from the start. Avoid crossing your arms in front of the chest or keeping hands subconsciously protecting the groin area. It gives an impression of you being closed off. Use open arm movements to make your date feel welcome and comfortable with you. Do not clutch or hind your hands. Don’t fiddle with things around you when on date as this is an indication of low self confidence and nervousness apart from giving the date an impression of lack of interest from your part. Making fast movements while talking or eating is also a sign of nervousness and lack of confidence. Also avoid touching your face or ears as this is a sign of insecurity or nervousness.

More Tips on First Date etiquette's: It goes without saying that Body Odor, Bad breath, dirty finger nails, smelly feet and shabby dressing should be avoided at any cost while dating. Even if you do not master or display all what is written in Essential Manners for Men: What to Do, When to Do It, and Why by Peter Post using a bit of classic etiquette can go a long way in impressing a date.

Image Courtesy: salvage @Flickr
Related Post : Becoming a better first date

Top 10 reasons why a Relationship may fail

2011-10-24T05:52:00.000-07:00

Love is one of the most wonderful feelings a person can experience in his or her whole life. Love can make your world bright and beautiful and give a meaning to your life. Of course it is also true that when in love we tend to see only the good qualities in the partner and do not see the flaws which is probably the reason why many relationships fails. Even relationships which start so well can fail after a period of time.

So what can be some common causes or reasons why a love relationship may fail? Given below is a list of Top 10 reasons for failure of relationships.

So why do Relationships fail? There can be many reasons for a relationship failure. Some of the common causes or reasons are listed below.
1. Opting for the wrong Partner: This can be one major cause for a love relationship to fail. Physical compatibility or lust is not just enough for a relationship to survive but the couple should have a mental compatibility too. It is very important for one to know what he or she wants from the relationship and what the partner’s expectations from them are. You should know what to expect from a relationship and what not to. Many people expect life to be a bed of roses, but it is not always so. Being realistic with expectations can avoid disappointments and failure.
2. Lack of Understanding and Trust: Trust is an important ingredient which determines the success or failure of any relationship. I have personally come across many people who stalk or spy on their partners because of their lack of trust. If you are suspicious of your partner and not able to trust them there is no way your relationship will survive. Not only the relationship may go weaker and weaker but also you would be making yourself miserable with your worries and suspicions. Lack of Understanding and Trust is a major reason for break ups and failure of marriages.
3. Lack of Communication between Partners: Lack of communication between couples is another major cause why love relationships do not work. In fact communication is very essential to build trust and understanding between the couples to strengthen their bond. It is very important to spend quality time with the partner and be open. Honesty and transparency between couples can make a relationship strong.
4. Lack of Respect for the Partner: In a love relationship that you should respect your partner, their feelings and desires. Physical abuse, Verbal and non verbal bashing, excessively dominating nature etc are some things which happen when this respect does not exist between couples. This can be a major reason for relationship break ups.
5. Lack of Appreciation: It is very important for you to know that you value your partner and not take them for granted. Every individual desires a pat on the back or appreciation from their partners for their efforts. But the sad truth is that most couples take their partners for granted and not consider it a necessity to be appreciative of them. Even simple words of praise or encouragement can do wonders to a relationship.
6. Cheating on your Partner: Infidelity can be a major cause for the breaking up of a relationship. There can be many reasons why men cheat on their partners. But the most common reason is their quest for new sexual experiences. Out of the many reasons why women cheat the most common reason is the lack of attention from their own partners. Whatever the reasons may be cheating on the partners can ruin a relationship.
7. Lack of Flexibility: No one is perfect in this World. Flexibility and Adjustments are vital in any relationship if you want it to succeed. One should learn to adapt and accepts the flaws of the partner also along with the good qualities. A relationship is about compromise too where you may have to tolerate even some small bad habits or way of living of your partner. If you can’t do that you may not be able to save the relationship.
8. Entering into a Relationship for the Wrong Reasons: There are many people who get into relationships with wrong reasons or expectations. There are also people who maintain the wrong attitude. If you are looking for a long lasting relationship (especially marriage) you need to believe that your relationship is for keeps and not just for a few months or years. This mentality of permanency and desire to make a relationship a lasting one enables the individual to face and solve the difficulties that may arise in life and not give up on it.
9. Failure in maintaining the Attraction Levels: Those many relationships start well they end up stale as the time passes when boredom creeps in. Many individuals are seen taking their partners for granted once the initial honeymoon phase is over. One should know how to avoid boredom in marriage and keep the attraction levels high if you wish to maintain a happy relationship. Good Sex is an important part of a love relationship which can help one to keep the partner attracted and also stop the partner from being unfaithful. Majority of people who cheat on their partners are involved in sexless marriages or have an unsatisfied sexual relationship.
10. Financial Worries: Financial Worries can wreck even good relationships.
Apart from this sometimes friends, children or relatives could also be a reason for a relationship to become a failure. Also many times it is noticed that when a partner commits a mistake many individuals are unwilling to forgive it. Even when they say that they forgive they do not forgive fully and bring back the topic again when arguments happen. In fact building a good relationship is an uphill task which needs a lot of efforts and energy.

Image Courtesy : Alex Bellink @ Flickr

Top 10 Gadget Gift Ideas for Men - Best Gifts for Guys

2011-10-23T20:58:00.000-07:00

Men love all kinds of Gadgets. So getting them a gadget gift is one sure way of making them happy. However when you make a buy such a gift make sure you consider the lifestyle, interests, needs and usability apart from your budget. Some of the cool gifts I find suitable for men are Logitech Harmony One Universal Remote Control, Amazon Kindle Reading Device, Blackberry Smart Phone, Blackberry Playbook Tablet PC, Apple iPod, Apple iPad, Apple Smart Phone, Sony Play Station portable, Nintendo Vii, Garmin nuvi GPS navigator, Canon Digital Camera, Spy Cam etc. I am yet to see a Guy who does not like his Gadgets.
If you are looking to buy a gift for a Guy for Father’s Day, Birthday, Anniversary, Christmas, new year or any other occasion which demands gift giving I am sure this list of Top 10 Gadget Gift Ideas for Men should come handy to you.

What can be some best Gadget Gifts for Men? Given below are my list of top picks of Gadget gifts for Guys.

Logitech Harmony One Universal Remote Control: This is undoubtedly one of the best universal remote controls I have seen and used. Universal control of up to 15 video, audio, music and gaming devices is possible with Logitech Harmony One Universal Remote Control. This Gadget comes in a sleek easy to hold tablet design with sharp LCD that offers a 3.5 inch full touch-screen interface and touch-sensitive buttons for navigation. It is web programmable via Windows or Mac PCs and has rechargeable lithium-ion battery and docking station. It supports over 5,000+ brands and 225,000+ devices.
Amazon KindleDX 9.7 inch 3 G Wireless Reading Device: This is undoubtedly one of the best choices you can make with the Guy you are buying the gift for loves to read or is a frequent traveler. The latest generation E Ink technology used in this device gives one the best reading experience possible with 50% better contrast and the sharpest text. Kindle weighs 8.7 ounces and holds up to 3,500 books making it the ultimate travel companion. One thing I absolutely love about Kindle is that with the Text-to-Speech, Kindle can read English-language content out loud to you. The Built-in Free 3G connectivity uses the same wireless signals that cell phones use, but there are no monthly fees or commitments as Amazon pays for Kindle’s 3G wireless connectivity. The added convenience of 3G enables you to download books fast anytime, anywhere, while you are on the go. A single charge lasts up to two months with wireless off based upon a half-hour of daily reading time. If the Amazon Kindle DX is above the Budget for you, then you may go for cheaper options like kindle (Wi-Fi)orKindle 3G (Free 3G + Wi-Fi). If you have more money to spare you can get him some cool Kindle Covers.
BlackBerry Smart Phone: There are many smart phones available in the market like Apple iPhone4, Motorola Proton 4G, HTC Sensation 4G, Samsung Infuse 4G, Samsung galaxy S II and so on. But as a loyal Blackberry user I do not like for go for any other phone when I can have a Blackberry. I am happy with the applications and features available on Blackberry. Some models you can check out are Blackberry Torch 9800, BlackBerry Curve 3G 9330, BlackBerry Bold 9650, BlackBerry Tour 3G and BlackBerry Pearl Flip 8230. I am sure they would not disappoint you in impressing the person you are buying the gift for.
Blackberry Playbook Tablet PC: This is a nice looking Tablet Pc with 1 GHz dual core processor 7 inch LCD display and 1024 x 600 screen resolution which means a better user experience than an I Pad. You may browse the web, video chat, play games, watch movies and more. The Blackberry Playbook tablet PC is suitable for multitasking and has up to 10 hours of battery life.
Apple iPod Classic:This is a wonderful gift you can give for a man on the move. With 160GB of storage, an iPod Classic can hold upto 40000 songs, 200 hours of video or 25000 photos. There are other models also you can consider iPod nano, iPod Touch, iPod Mini, iPod Red, iPod Shuffle etc.
Sony Play station Portable: A Sony PlayStation Portable is an ideal gift for a man. Men loves games and this is a small gaming device he can carry with him and use when he is bored. Apart from playing games you can also listen to music, watch movies, download and view pictures or surf the Web.
Nintendo Wii: This is one of the most fun video gaming consoles available in the market and it's affordable as well.
Garmin nüvi GPS Navigator: GPS stands for Global Positioning System. It can be a very helpful device for a globe trotter. This device replaces map and compass with moving digital maps with precise location, elevation, topographic and other data. These GPS navigators are easy-to-use, consumer friendly and enhance outdoor safety. There are many models you may choose according to your area and budget.
Canon Digital Camera: Canon is one brand I would trust blindly if I have to pick up a digital camera. Some other good brands are Kodak, Nikon, Olympus, Sony and Panasonic. There are many models available and it won’t be difficult to get a digital camera within your budget.
Apple iPad 2: Gift an Apple iPad2 and be sure that it would be a well appreciated gift. You may go for iPad 2 with Wi-Fi or iPad 2 with Wi-Fi + 3G.
NHJ Portable Television Watch Wearable 1.5" LCD TV Wrist watch: Well I am sure this is a gift any guy would like to flaunt. With this watch he can enjoy your favorite TV programs anywhere! Not only is it a color television, but it's also a wristwatch! This Wearable Portable TV Wristwatch features 1.5-inch TFT LCD color monitor. It is one of the best gifts to give a man on the move.
Spy Cam: Spy cams are cool gadgets. You can opt for Spy Pen Video Camera, Spy Watch Camera, Keychain DVR Video Camera, Spy Sunglasses with Camera and many more.

I hope that you found this list of Top 10 Gadget Gift Ideas for Men helpful.Gadgets can be the best gifts you can give a Guy. So do you know of any another cool gadget that you feel can be a perfect or ideal gift for a man? Feel free to add it through your comments.

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Do you say YES when you really mean NO? Feeling Comfortable with your Date

2011-10-17T20:56:00.000-07:00

Are you the type of person who says Yes when you want to say No? You are not alone. There are many men and woman who do that. Relationship Expert Debbie Lamedman talks about feeling comfortable with a dating partner in this Guest Post.

Have you ever known a person who says yes to everything, even when he or she doesn’t really mean yes? I have known this person and actually, to be honest, I have been this person. I see it happen to a lot of people who use dating services as a means to meet and date people outside of their social circle. They say yes to things they don’t want to do when they mean no in an effort to get someone to like them. Obviously, it’s not a great tactic to employ and it shows a certain amount of low self-esteem. But many of us are guilty of it because we really want our date to like us.

Interestingly enough, if you want to feel comfortable with your dating services partner, there really is no need to be someone you’re not. You are at your most attractive when you are being true to yourself. Think about this in terms of people who you’ve been attracted to in the past. Aren’t they exciting and attractive to be around when they are being their most confident self? Of course they are, and so are you. If tension and awkwardness surrounds your relationship, you need to question whether or not the two of you are suited to one another. You may not feel comfortable with this person, because he or she is not the right one for you. Don’t immediately jump to the conclusion that you are doing something wrong.

Obviously people feel comfortable with one another when they share mutual interests, and when there is mutual respect and trust. There’s nothing more rewarding and fulfilling than being with someone who lets you be your authentic self. If you find yourself dating someone who is always quick to judge you, who is always telling you that you are wrong or undermining your opinion, of course you’re going to feel uncomfortable with that person. Why would you want to waste your time with someone who didn’t appreciate you for who you are.

No one is perfect and we all make mistakes. If you and your partner are going to feel comfortable with one another, you need to give each other breathing room and allow for slip-ups from time to time. We all make them, but if we are able to learn from our mistakes, we’re the better for it. So obviously, you want to find someone who is kind and understanding and can help you to be your best self. As you engage with the many dates you will meet online, be kind to yourself by choosing the company of people who will treat you right. Life is too short, so don’t spend your time on a date with someone who doesn’t make you feel comfortable at ease.

About the Author: Debbie Lamedman is highly sought after for dating advice by her friends and strangers alike! Find more of her articles at her blog, Dating Services!
Image Credit : mikebaird @ flickr

A Practical Guide on How to Attract Men

2011-09-13T00:16:00.000-07:00

Most women are confused as to how to attract a man or be a total man magnet to get a Guy to be interested in them. Are there any secrets for attracting men? Guest Blogger and Relationship Expert Rascall Morrison gives some practical tips to help women who want to get Guys to like them in the Blog Post below.

When it comes to learning how to truly attract men, a lot of women don’t realize that they can be their own worst enemy. More often than not, they’re blissfully unaware that harboring certain mindsets will hurt their chances of finding the right guy.

For instance, many women are sadly bogged down by unrealistic expectations. For far too long, we’ve been misled by the notion that the ideal relationship will “just happen” to us rather than having to put any real effort into making it happen.

Watch cable TV or rent a DVD – you’ll find a lot of shows and movies that feature characters who fall in love after meeting in a club, bar or some equally trendy location. With the script running on auto-pilot, finding Mr. Right is a no-brainer.

When people in a club are in “party mode”, they’re less likely to act like their everyday selves – especially if there’s a lot of alcohol involved. In this context, it’s harder to know if a guy is a good match for you.

Stop Feeding Unrealistic Expectations
What’s dangerous that this stereotypical setting enforces the misconception that getting a guy is easy as picking up a meal at the drive-through. There’s certainly nothing wrong with going out for a few drinks with your girlfriends and having fun, but don’t expect that you’ll automatically find someone there and hook up with him. Women who know how to attract men never insist on this type of thinking.

Sure, there is the off-chance of meeting someone in those places, but don’t close yourself to the opportunities you’ll find elsewhere.

Besides, are you really ready to deal with “buyer’s remorse”? This refers to the sense of regret from getting caught up in the moment with someone before really getting to know him.

In the real world, you have a bigger chance of meeting your dream guy in a mundane setting such as the supermarket, a mutual friend’s karaoke party, or even at the gas station.

In fact, your friends can be your best allies in meeting guys. Don’t be embarrassed to ask for their help – it’ll be less awkward to be introduced to someone that’s already been pre-approved by your friends!

A Better Alternative
Think about it: social events with a group of friends means LESS pressure. Unlike an actual date, you don’t have to deal with an atmosphere of forced romance.

Instead, you’ll get to see how your “candidate” fares in a social situation. Better yet, you’ll be more inclined to relax around him (as opposed to freaking out) since you’ll be among friends.

If you do feel some chemistry going on, your friends can come up with more and more excuses for you to run into said guy in the future.

Eventually, you’ll get to the point where you’ll be comfortable enough to go out with him on an exclusive date. By allowing the romance to blossom naturally, neither of you will feel rushed or feel pressured to become a couple right away.

Romance shouldn’t be treated like a competitive sport. Otherwise, you’ll build up all these expectations in your head and all that internal chatter is just going to distract you.

Be Yourself!
Who’d want to be with a girl who’s so obsessed about the outcome? Men would rather date a girl who’s relaxed and enjoying every moment as it comes.

Any woman who knows how to attract a man understands that part of making a guy feel special is through her undivided attention. By skipping the usual bar or club scene, you won’t be distracted by having to “succeed” and be more focused on the guy you’re talking to.

And that’s certainly better than hitting the singles scene and going out there under the pressure of having to bag a guy before the night’s over!

Image Courtesy: Juliana Coutinho, Flickr Images

How to make a Long Distance Relationship Work

2011-09-07T20:23:00.000-07:00

If the general consensus is anything to go by then long distance relationships are destined to fail. In reality however this is not necessarily the case and with a bit of work from each end of the relationship you might just find that things turn out okay. This article will look at how to make a long distance relationship work and focus on three main areas; keeping in contact with each other, what you do when you actually get to see each other and sharing the burden of long distance.

Keeping In Contact: If you're going to have a chance of making a long distance relationship work then you've got to keep in contact with each other on a regular basis and by regular I don't mean a phone call every few days I mean some kind of daily contact. A chat before bed can work well and is an easy routine to get into. If that doesn't suit you then emails and text messages can work but in my experience (3 years of long distance) they aren't quite the same as hearing someone’s voice. You need to have plenty to talk about when you do chat with each other and if you're struggling for topics then just telling each other about your day can be enough. Your daily chats don't have to be three hours long they just need to be enough to let the other person know what's going on in your life and give you time to find out what's going on in theirs. Keeping in contact is essential to making a long distance relationship work. Get into a routine of daily phone calls and you'll have this base covered.

When You See Each Other: Given that you're in a long distance relationship the times when you actually get to see each other are very important. At this stage I can't stress enough how important it is to see each other as much as possible. If you can do it every weekend then you should. The more time you spend together the more chance you have of making your long distance relationship work.When you do get together it's important that you do things which have meaning. By this I mean don't just sit in front of the TV. Instead go out for a meal, to the cinema, on a day trip or even just for a romantic walk. You need to give yourselves things to think about when you're not together and in doing fun things when you get the chance you'll remind each other why you're putting so much effort into staying together.

The Burden Of Long Distance: There's no doubt that being in a long distance relationship isn't easy but if you are going to make it work then you need to share the burden. By this I mean you both need to put the same amount of effort into making the relationship work. It's no good if one person is always traveling to see the other person. You need to take it in turns so that it's clear you both want to make it work. It's also important when you're in a long distance relationship to be there for your partner even when you're not there. If they need a chat on the phone because their feeling low or they have some exciting news they want to share then make sure you make time for them. You need your relationship to be as normal as possible and even though you're apart it feels like you're very much involved in each others lives.

About the Author: This is a Guest Post by David Lenton who has just set up BestDatingWebsites.org which is a website that shows people what the best dating sites are for them. Included are the best English dating sites as well as the best sites for people all over the Globe.

Image Courtesy: Atilla1000 @ Flickr

Online Dating Lifestyles and Statistics

2011-09-01T21:08:00.000-07:00

Recently released studies surrounding the lifestyles, behaviors and trends of online dating activity among single men and women have revealed some interesting insights into this modern matchmaking phenomenon.

According to the research group, IPSOS-Reid, 48% of respondents involved in a recent survey said they considered online dating as a more genuine and realistic method to meet their match as opposed to bar and night club hopping.

In North America alone, back in 2004, more than 39 million single people were logging onto online dating each and every month. As it stands today, in 2011, this figure is estimated to have more than doubled to 80 million active monthly online dating participants within the U.S. According to IPSOS-Reid, these groups of online daters are split up into various categories and are seeking companionship on different levels ranging from serious relationships, cyber fantasy, casual dating and marriage.

Eight years ago, in 2004, the same research company went on the record to predict online dating patronage would double within 10 years, a prediction that has certainly come to fruition. The integration of technologies and social networking has also made a significant contribution to online dating, which has shrugged off its social stigma as a result and is now the leading matchmaking platform in the world, virtually replacing the traditional dating and matchmaking agencies.

Despite the enormous growth in this sector, experts predict online dating to still be very much in its infancy. By 2019, it's estimated that more than 50% of couples will be matched up via cyberspace. Why is society so readily willing to publicly expose themselves to a world of strangers?

Personalized web pages, photo galleries and chat rooms together with secure messaging systems offer a level of anonymity while still opening doors to an infinite selection of romantic possibilities and at lightning speed, something that out-dated personals and dating agencies cannot match - online dating has become very much a self-serve dating concept.

Online dating delivers single people highly targeted dating options thus allowing members to narrow down their search criteria on so many levels - age, sex, race, religion, lifestyles etc. Sophisticated matchmaking algorithms minimize the profile browsing options by delivering you suitable and potential dates based on the user information submitted upon member registration.
Whilst the majority of online daters are aged under 35 years of age, older age groups are also on the rise in terms of participation which can be attributed to mature singles becoming increasingly savvy with today's technologies.

Social networking giant Facebook has also entered the fray. With many dating apps now available for free download via Facebook, participants now have access to the estimated 250 million single people currently using Facebook...The possibilities are endless!

About the Author: This is a Guest Post by Matt Fuller who provides reviews about dating sites in Australia as well as online dating tips for single people.

Image Courtesy: Don Hankins, Flickr

How to choose a better Online Dating Profile Picture

2011-08-31T03:44:00.000-07:00

They say you shouldn’t judge a book by its cover, but having an unflattering photograph on your dating profile is just asking for prospective partners to pass you by. Don’t believe me? Think about it - how many times have you clicked on someone’s dating profile, seen a less than fantastic photo, thought ‘no way’ and moved quickly on to the next profile?

There’s no denying that we humans are very visual creatures - how we see the world is crucial to how we experience it. Even if you are someone for whom looks aren’t everything, a poor quality photo isn’t really going to compel you to dig deeper into a prospective date’s profile.

So how do you present your best face to the world? Make sure your profile photo features just one person - you. Having others in your photo, even if they are close friends or family, can be distracting for the viewer, taking their attention from the main focus.

Don’t crop people out of your photo and use the most recent image you can find. If you don’t have anything suitable in your photo album, get a friend to take a shot for you. With a digital camera, you can keep shooting with a range of backgrounds and lighting levels until you get a selection of images you’re happy with.

If you’re female, using make-up is the right way to go. It’s not uncommon for people to look washed out in photos, especially when the flash is used. Make-up allows you to compensate for the camera’s inadequacies and highlight your best features. Don’t go too far and use professional glamour shots, though - you may think you look wonderful, but most guys will know they’re not seeing the real you - and that’s a turn-off.

Guys, don’t be tempted to include photos of your car, or your motorcycle, or your speedboat. You may be proud as punch of your thrill machine, but most women really couldn’t care less. They want to know what you look like - not the contents of your toybox.

Do include some photos of you doing things you love. If you’re a keen skier, add a favourite image of yourself on the slopes. If you love to travel, why not include one or two holiday snaps from your most memorable destinations. Be picky - remember our rules from above. Don’t just choose any old shot. Make sure it’s a good one and shows you in your best light.

These ‘action’ shots shouldn’t be your main profile picture, but they work well as an enhancement for your profile. For your main picture, try to go with a simple head and shoulders photo.

Dress is very important, especially for the girls. Put on something you normally wear and that you feel comfortable in. Don’t go getting all dolled up if that is something you only do once in a blue moon - you won’t feel natural and it will show in any photos. And don’t feel tempted to wear something too revealing - you’ll be sending the wrong message to prospective dates and setting yourself up to attract interest from all sorts of weirdos.

I’ve saved the best piece of advice for last. It’s a simple one: smile. Everyone responds more positively when they see or meet someone who is smiling, and the same happens with a dating profile photo. After all, you want to make a great impression and encourage people to take a closer look.

About the Author: This is a Guest Post by Dave Steffens , a dedicated webmaster and blogger who runs www.datingonlinecanada.ca. Dave contributes articles and blogs for a number of websites relating to free dating sites in Canada, singles chat rooms for men and women plus dating advice.

Image Courtesy: That Other Paper, Flickr

10 Ways to Surprise Your Girlfriend on a Special Occasion

2011-08-30T20:54:00.000-07:00

News Flash! 99% of women say they love surprises. What about the other 1%? They are Liars! So, What are some ways to surprise a Girl friend? Here is a list of 10 things you can do to please your mate.

10)Be a Chef If the only experience you have with cooking is throwing a slice of pizza in a microwave, don't worry. There are hundreds of tutorials on the web that's very easy to follow. If you know her favorite dish, then you're halfway there, and it really doesn't matter if it's not perfect, it's all about the effort, right ladies?
9) Exquisite Dining Some people are born chefs, and some aren't, so if you're the latter, you'd better have the resources to spoil your girl with her favorite cuisine once in a while. Trying out new restaurants and great wine now and then is a great way to break the shackles of routine.
8)Home Boy There's no surer way to destroy a relationship than when the 'effort' starts to decline. If you and your honey share the same full time address, you'll need to get the basics right!! That means washing up and taking turns in the domestic duties etc. If your home is clean, tidy and organized, she'll feel far more inclined to please you in other ways, get it?
7)Family Dinner Waiver: You better make sure she's really close to her family, or this could blow up in your face. In a related matter, you can use your new found talents from number 10!
6)Take Her on a Casual Picnic This works best if your partner loves the outdoors. Find hiking trails in your area and schedule one day of backpacking. Or if you live by the beach, have a tanning day planned out. A local park setting could also work if you live in the city.
5)A Night at the Spa Surprise her by telling her you're taking her dating to a routine place and then land somewhere she didn't totally expect, a local high-end spa and massage parlor. A lot of spas offer packages that can fit your budget too. A stress-free girlfriend is a man's best friend!
4)Old-Fashioned "Flowers delivery for (enter your name)!" Every girl wants to have that triumphant moment when everyone in the office will know how much you love her. She feels that she is important when you take the time and spend the money to send her flowers (preferably with chocolates).
3)Forced Holiday You will have to work overtime for this especially in getting the reservations and bookings done beforehand. The hardest part will be to force her to take that leave from her job. But she won't regret it once she knows you're going on a trip to...!
2)Luxury Cruise Wallet Warning: This is not cheap! Be encouraged. I've never heard of a couple going on a cruise that came back worse than when they started. She is worth that expense (and then some!)
1)Shopping Give her an almost-unlimited day of using your credit card. She will actually feel guilty using it. This is a reverse psychology kind of thing. "WOW! He actually trusts me with his money! That's how special I am." And even if she does spend a little bit, at least it beats planning (i.e. our list from number 10-2). It’s the thought that counts, Guaranteed. And the result will surprise you (pun intended)!

About the Author: This is a Guest Post by Matt Fuller who provides articles and news stories on various subjects relating to dating sites Australia, relationships advice for couples and free online dating sites reviews for single people.

Image Courtesy: Flickr Images by Vectorpotral

9 Dating Tips to Create a Better Date in 10 Minutes

2011-08-11T07:41:00.000-07:00

Every new person you date is a learning experience, and is one step closer to meeting someone who ticks the right boxes. So, How to create a better date? Become a more seasoned dater with these tips!

The first 10 minutes into a date is the most crucial. Both people will generally decide within this time frame whether a second date is likely to eventuate, thus setting the tone for the rest of the date.

Recently published information by an Australian women's magazine, who polled their readers, indicated that 83% of first dates do not progress beyond the initial date. The failure of so many first dates may not depend on whether you're a potential match or not, many people tend to write off a date if there are no sparks or electrifying chemistry within the first few minutes of the date.

As a matchmaking consultant, I see people waste their opportunities to use these interactions as a time to learn and experience self-growth. Every date shouldn't be looked at as a means to an end, rather part of your journey. So if your date is lacking sparks, here's some tips to transform your date into something positive.

1. Don't go in with a negative attitude: Just because your previous date was a disaster doesn't mean you should take this experience into the next time you're dating someone new. If you have the initial attitude of "I hope he likes me" rather than "I bet this date will be a disaster", then you'll be far more open minded and in a better head space to determine how you really feel about him.
2. Determine 3 things you like about your date: Look for positives, not negatives - as most people automatically do. This could be things like the restaurant he chose, showing up to the date on time or his nice smile or eyes: what things do you like about him?
3. Give him a compliment: Do your part to settle the nerves and get things off to a positive note: Offer a compliment so he'll loosen up, give yourself the best chance to get to know his real personality. After all, a simple compliment is a very nice gesture.
4. Use each experience as practice: Let's face it, it's only a matter of time until your lucky number comes up, even though you probably don't see it that way right now, however use each date as a stepping stone until Mr. I love you walks through the door. Dating various people is a fantastic opportunity to become better at interacting and improving your social skills.
5. Lose your agenda: If he simply does not do it for you within the first 10 minutes, just relax and be open to what might come up. There could be some other opportunity arise you never dreamt of. A business opportunity or a new network of friends. Don't make the mistake of limiting yourself and closing off your options, there could be some other message you can take away from meeting new people.
6. Ask questions: But don't enter into negative territory and discuss how many awful people you've met online, or how much you hate your boss, or the state of the economy: you'll just sound like a drama queen. instead, talk about your dates interests, carry on with the phone conversation you had earlier, "Tell me more about your trip to LA"
7. Don't listen to those little voices in your head: You know the one's, those voices telling us we're not good enough, or this is a waste of time. When you start having these thoughts, do your best to clear your mind and again tell yourself "no, it's an opportunity I should not miss"
8. Let go of the control: The whole point of the date is to find out about your date, not yourself. Don't over analyse or start reading into things that possibly don't exist anyway. Pay attention to him, stop trying to read his mind, otherwise you run the risk of losing the man of your dreams.
9. Be nice, be empathetic: Your date probably has insecurities and concerns just like you. Try not to get hung up on some petty assumption you automatically think you could not live with. And regardless of how the date ends, leave him feeling good about himself and spread good karma in the process.

Most people are searching for a lifelong partner with whom they share a mutual and deep connection, one of adoration and trust. so until this time comes along, be the best person you can and respect each and every person you meet, it'll pay off in the end.

About the Author: This is a Guest Post by Matt Fuller who provides articles and resources relating to free dating sites, relationships tips for couples and online dating sites reviews for single people.

Photo Courtesy : Paul H Photography on Flickr

How to find the perfect dating site for you

2011-08-01T06:40:00.001-07:00

Socializing online, in particular using dating sites, has become one of the popular uses of the internet. The popularity of internet dating has seen a growing number of dating sites emerge; today there are niche dating sites, larger well known dating sites as well as a number of dating sites that offer free dating. However, the vast range of dating sites available online has meant that it can be difficult to decide on which is the best dating site for you.

There are a number of aspects to consider when choosing a dating site to ensure you select the right site that is perfect for your needs. One of the first aspects to consider is your budget. A large number of dating sites charge a registration or subscription fee to use their services. Establishing a budget will ensure that you find a dating site that offers the right services for you at the right price. However, if you do have a strict budget an alternative option is one of the dating sites that offers free dating; these websites offer similar features but are free and are ideal if you have limited resources.

Carefully consider the different dating sites, look at past customer reviews and the websites success rate. Thoroughly researching a dating site will guarantee that you will choose a trustworthy site that will offer you good results.

Another aspect to consider when choosing a dating website is to select an established dating site. An established dating site will offer a wider variety of other single people as well as compatibility functions that are more reliable and helpful. The established dating sites will also offer services and functions, which have been previously successful, for example choose an established website that offers online chatting functions and in-depth profile options. The 'About us' page of a dating site will reveal how long they have been online as well as explaining previous successes.

A great way of ensuring you choose the perfect dating site for you is to select niche dating sites. There are a number of specialised sites for select groups, for example single parents, senior dating, Christian dating and gay dating sites. Using these sites will ensure you find more compatible matches that are better suited to your personal circumstances.

Considering these various aspects when choosing a dating site is guarantee to help you find the perfect dating site for you as well as help to ensure that you find the perfect partner for you.

About the Author: This is a guest post by Rob Turner of datingsites.org.uk , an online dating comparison website.

Heart Songs

2011-07-13T09:30:00.000-07:00

Summertime calls for a summer mix tape. If, like me, you bought a frappuccino from Starbucks for
the promised free summer tunes only to find out it was an iTunes card you don't know how to use
(there is seriously no slot on my laptop it fits into) then I have the solution. Below are my warm
weather recommendations, perfect for beach sprawling or barbecue bopping or crying alone in your air
conditioned room. Suitable for the single, the dating, and the hopeless. Enjoy.

“Torn” by Natalie Imbruglia. The great thing about this is Natalie is lying naked on the floor because
she's heartbroken but this actually doubles as advice if you don't have an air conditioner. You might be
all out of faith, but you're never out of ways to beat the heat!

“As Is” by Ani DiFranco. This song is about accepting someone for who they are even if they are a
liar. There are worse things when it comes to qualities in a loved one. And it didn't seem to bother the
jury on the Casey Anthony trial.

“Late at Night” by Buffalo Tom. This is from the My So-Called Life soundtrack starring Claire Danes.
It plays during the episode where Jordan Catalano finally holds Angela's hand. Sadly, the significance
of this gesture has not diminished in adulthood.

“Silence” by Delerium. Another Claire Danes soundtrack except now instead of high school, she's in a
Thai prison. If you listen to it over and over you really start to feel like you are locked inside your head
with no chance of ever escaping. Then you can pause it and be like, “I'm free!” and feel better. If you
play it while you're making out with someone and cry at the same time it is super romantic.

The instrumental love theme from Romeo and Juliet starring Claire Danes. I forget what it's really
called because I saved it in my iTunes as, “For sad times.” I like to play it while I'm looking in the
mirror and pretend I am both Leo and Claire so that I can imagine what it would be like to be loved and
what it would be like to love me. In case you were wondering, guys, it's pretty great.

I guess really any Claire Danes soundtrack is a good summer pick unless it's from the remake of Le
Miserables because it makes more sense to buy the original which was in fact a musical.

“Save Me” by Aimee Mann. This one is actually a cry for help. Really. Please come over now. I'm
very sad.

The instrumental theme from “Buffy the Vampire Slayer.” Again, you'll want a mirror so you can
understand both what it is to have to stab your vampire lover and send him into an unknown hell vortex
and what it's like to awake from a state of evil and realize you've been killing your girlfriend's friends.
In case you were wondering, it's pretty great.

“My Heart Will Go On” by Celine Dion (also the love them from Titanic). Obviously because of the
love and water themes, this song lends itself perfectly to summer romance. Until you hit the iceberg of
Autumn and realize it was just a meaningless fling and that when he said, “I'll never let go,” he really
was talking about the burger you wanted a bite of. Then he'll tear your heart out like the old lady tore
the blue heart of the ocean from around her neck and he'll throw it into the sea where it will remain
cold and alone forever.

Erin Whitehead is a writer, comedian, and actress in Los Angeles. She enjoys writing about love and relationships for onlinedatingsites.net.

How to Say No to Sex and other Survival Tips for the Suddenly Single

2011-07-04T06:19:00.000-07:00

I am pleased to recommend a brand new Book on Relationships How to Say No to Sex and other Survival Tips for the Suddenly Single by Cindy Vine, a fellow Hubber and also a Guest Blogger of this Blog. How to Say No to Sex and other Survival Tips for the Suddenly Single is a fun, easy-to-read self-help book that offers practical advice to women who have just ended a relationship.

Often when a relationship ends you fall into a slump. This book shows you how to get out of that slump and get your life back on track again. It is divided into four parts: Suddenly Single, Cleaning out the Closet, Picking up the Pieces and Facing the Future. Subjects covered include handling depression, sorting out your finances, mistakes made during sex, how to catch a man and things you can do with that old photo of your ex. There's many other tips as well on a range of topics, all geared to help you get back to where you were before the break-up.

So, if you are wallowing in self-pity after a break-up, or know of someone who is, then this is the book for you. It's currently available on Amazon Kindle and Smashwords.com. The paperback edition will be available by the end of August 2011.

Love & Light
Anamika

How to break up with a Girl friend without hurting her?

2011-07-02T09:08:00.000-07:00

How to break up with a Girlfriend? How to dump a lover? I am definitely not someone who writes on such topics. I believe that if a relationship can be salvaged efforts should be made to save it. I am writing this Blog Post on the request of a friend of mine who had wanted to dump his girlfriend for a long time but has been hanging on to the relationship which has been making him unhappy for several months because he does not want to hurt her. He asked me for advice on how he can end the relationship without breaking the girl’s heart as he no longer loves her and finds it difficult to continue pretending that he does. So I thought that I would write some tips on breaking up from a love relationship.

There might be many Guys out there who might want to move on from a loveless relationship but scared to because the partner is very sensitive. If you had been in a serious relationship, breaking up is not going to be an easy job. If you think that you can break up with your lover without breaking her heart or causing pain, let me tell you that it is foolishness to even expect that. However, I don’t think there is any point in hanging on to a relationship if a relationship is suffocating you and making you unhappy. Continuing the relationship can only cause more unhappiness and hurt to the parties involved. The longer you hold it off, the worse it will be for both of you.

So what should be done? Tell her that you want out. But you knew that already, didn't you? Just understand that it is your responsibility to her if you aren't into the relationship. Otherwise, you're cheating her out of being with someone who can give her a better life. She deserves to be told what is going on and how you are feeling. Don’t let her know through someone else. Don't wait till it’s too late. Do it now! Don’t delay or postpone it. She will be terribly hurt, but she will survive. Don’t be cowardly and do the dumping by email, chat, voice/text message, status message in social networking sites etc. Sit down and talk to her, face-to-face. She may question you or try to fix the problems but be focused on your decision if the relationship is really over in your mind. There is no point dragging it more. If you have decided to dump your lover it is best done in one quick sharp motion. Once you have let her know about it cut all communication with her. Don’t give her any hope that she can get you back. Don’t even give her the hope that you two can be friends. If you want to be friends with your Ex take steps towards it only after 3-6 months. But make it very clear to her that it is only friendship that you want. Who knows may be you would want her back after the distance from her makes you realize how much you value her in your life.

Related Links
How to break up with a Boyfriend
How to tell a Guy that you are not interested in him
Why should you get your Ex Back and why not to
How to win your Ex back and get back together

Why Online Dating Works … Sometimes

2011-06-16T13:21:00.000-07:00

The latest statistic is that only in 1 in 10 online daters will meet and date someone for over a month. At the same time, almost everyone knows someone these days who has met their spouse on Match, eHarmony, PlentyofFish or a number of other online dating sites. The success stories of deeply in love couples who go on to get married, have children and live out their lives happily together, inspire online dating hopefuls everywhere. Online dating really can work, but it can also turn into a big fail for many individuals and interestingly the difference lies largely in the attitudes of online daters according to experts.

Why Online Dating Works?
In a nutshell online dating works, because it creates opportunities to meet someone, when those opportunities would previously have not existed prior to the digital era. You increase your odds of finding someone special, particularly if you’re the type of person who doesn’t frequent the party or social scene. You also meet people that have similar interests; there is at minimum a little common ground to begin a relationship.

Why Online Dating does not work?
Experts in online dating and relationships say that the main reason online dating does not work is because dating sites cannot account for the chemistry factor. Experts say an immeasurable factor of chemistry or physical attraction is a huge part of successful relationships. The saying “opposites attract” stems from this, as happily married couples of many years can seemingly have very little in common, yet there is an obvious, strong and lasting chemistry between the pair. There is simply no way to tell if that spark will be present upon meeting by looking at someone’s online profile.

What Online Daters Should Expect
Online dating sites that claim to “scientifically” match you with your soul mate through a series of well-pointed questions are claiming the impossible. There is no way these sites can measure the chemistry between two people. However, many online daters sign up for these sites, hand over their credit card information and are sorely disappointed. These daters expect to quickly find their soul mate through the “science” of online dating sites. Unfortunately, this “science” is almost entirely based on marketing and sales agenda. Disappointed users, go on dates with those they’ve been “scientifically” matched with only to find that they don’t care for the person at all! Experts say this is due to the intangible, immeasurable factor of chemistry between two people.

What are Online Daters to do?
The experts recommend that online daters go into the world of online dating with the understanding that the dates they set up online will be very similar to a blind date set up by mutual friends. Friends setting up friends often match two people together because they both like the arts or they are both in finance, etc. Much like how online dating sites match people based on similar interests. However, just as mutual friends have no idea whether or not two people will “hit it off” or if there will be a real spark between a pair, neither do online dating sites. The “science” online dating sites use cannot account for the chemistry factor – which is critical according to relationship experts.

About the Author : Jessica Drew is a freelance writer and editor who blogs about a variety of dating, moneymaking and finance topics such as private student loans

How to make the Guy you want Chase you

2011-06-14T00:07:00.000-07:00

Understanding how to make a Guy chase you is something almost every woman wishes to know. Do you know what it takes to make a guy chase you? Here are parts of some of the mails I got.

‘I am an average looking girl. I have a strange problem. I have been chased by many men even though I have not shown any interest in anyone. I have always ignored these men as my priority is my studies. It is not wrong to say that I have more men pursuing me than the college beauties’.

‘There is this Guy who kept chasing me when I showed no interest in him. But now when I started taking an interest on him he is playing hard to get.’

‘There is a Guy who used to constantly send me messages online. After a couple of chats I became interested in him. We even talked about entering into a relationship and I agreed to meet him. Now what I notice is that he has gone cold on me. I am leaving messages and mails but I don’t get any response from him for weeks together. What did I do wrong?’

If you want know how to make a guy chase you what I am going to tell you should work. Do exactly the opposite to discourage a man from pursuing you. So how to be the Price catch men want to chase?

People do not appreciate anything that comes too easily. This is not just true about material things but in relationships too. Men love the chase. Playing hard to get can actually work. Don't make it too easy for him to get to you. Don't be available every time he wants to see you. If he isn't interested in chasing you, he's probably is not worth you. Making it a bit difficult can make him appreciate you more and realize how special you are to him. If you want your Man to chase you the first thing you should do is stop acting desperate or clingy because that is a sure turn off for men. Let the man make the calls and send messages and let him make the plans. Also hold back when it comes to intimacy. Let him know that you are not the sleeping around type. If you were difficult for him he would assume that you are bound to be difficult for other men too. Men would definitely appreciate a woman with the morals. Also it is very important that you love yourself. Take care of your appearance and cultivate good qualities men would love in their woman. Be the worthy catch a man would be proud of. Be the kind of person who would make his life better and happier. Be someone with a positive energy. Be appreciative and encouraging when your man needs it. Anyways, don’t be superficial or made up. Your man has to love you for what you are – your inner qualities and beauty of heart matters as much as your external beauty or confidence. Let him know your worth. Let him know that you have high standards and you will not settle for less than what you deserve. Keep the mystery element. Men love solving puzzles. If you're the type of person who wears your heart on your sleeve it’s time that you stop doing that.

Now that I have talked about how to get a man to chase you the Question is that is the man worthy of your attention? You can understand that by observing him. Watch if he respects you and your feelings. Also look on how he treats other woman and others in general. Regarding online friendships, many men are on the lookout for some fun fantasy. Even that happened with me. One particular Guy kept on convincing me that how perfect we are for each other. I tried all the techniques to discourage him from getting into the romance mode and tried to keep him just as a friend because I genuinely liked him. I told him all bad things about myself and discussed my ex boyfriends. I even told him that I am clingy and possessive which I am not. But what worked last was questioning him, sending him messages and acting desperate by talking of future. Most Guys get freaked when you confront him with the ‘Commitment’ word. Yes, that works! But the sad part was that I lost him as a friend too…

As some final words of advice I want to say that if you want the man you wish in your life stop chasing him. Everything in life happens for a reason; maybe you had to learn something out of your experience. If things work out it is good, otherwise concentrate on achieving your dreams and goals in life because that’s what makes what you are. Remember that you are special and don’t give in to any man till he does not prove himself worthy of you. Well, what if he does? Appreciate him and prove that you are worthy of him.

Top 5 Reasons why People Stay in Abusive Relationships

2011-06-09T23:20:00.000-07:00

Why do people stay in Abusive relationships? I am sure many of us have seen at least some of our friends, relatives or people known to us involved in an abusive relationship but still refuse to let go the person they are with. What is it that prompts men and women to stick on to such relationships? If we look into abusive relationships carefully we can notice that the reasons why people do not get out of such relationships can be mostly any of the 5 reasons listed below.

Low Self Esteem: The major reason why many people stay in their bad relationship is low self esteem. Some people take abuse because they are familiar with it and believe that they deserve it. In order to come out of this situation one has to start believing that they deserve better and work towards it.

Financial Benefits: Financial Dependency can prompt many people to stay in abusive relationships. When a person does not believe that they can provide food, clothing and shelter for themselves or think that they cannot survive on their own they may take abuse from the person who provides them with it. Such people believe that they have no other options than staying. I have often heard people saying, ‘Where would I go (What would I do) if I leave him?’ As long as the abused live in ‘hopelessness’ there cannot be change.

Not accepting there is a Problem: Closing the eyes during the day cannot change a day to night. But that is what many people do in relationships. They refuse to believe or acknowledge that there is a problem in their relationship and go on a denial mode. As long as a person does not think that she can no longer go on go on living a lie there is nothing anyone can do about the situation.

Children: Many stay in abusive relationships because of children who are dependent on them. They think what would happen to the kids or believe that children would suffer if they opt out of the abusive relationship. What they don’t realize is that by staying in a failed or destructive relationship they are teaching children how to abuse or be abused. Such kids can grow up to be a perpetrator or victim of abuse.

Society: Some people are more bothered about their culture, family, friends, community etc than them. They prefer to suffer in the relationship as they do not want rejection from the society.

Most people in abused relationships are aware of their shortfalls and what they need to do about it to change the situation. So is there a way out of this situation? Yes, taking help can make things easier for the abused. But first and foremost they should understand that there is nothing anyone can do if they are not willing to help themselves. They need to realize that they are ultimately responsible for their own happiness and should take the initiative to break the pattern or else the pattern would continue.

Dress to impress on a Date - Grooming Tips for Men

2011-06-09T10:26:00.000-07:00

All too often, when people settle down together, they get comfortable and let their hair down. There’s nothing wrong with that but if your relationship starts to go down because it is in need of a breath of fresh air, the quickest way to inject some spark into it is to make an effort into your appearance the way you did when you both started dating each other. There are countless of articles on what women can do to look better so let’s take a look at what men can do. So, How to dress to Impress on a Date?

Shave : The best way to look new again and drop the scruffy look is to get a close shave. Nothing looks more neglected than an unkempt beard. If your woman likes bearded men, at least groom it, give it some shape and make it glow and look healthy. If you like to have a little stubble on show, same thing – give it a shape and don’t let the stubble spread everywhere like a disease. Otherwise a good close shave will not only make you feel and look fresh but also get rid of dead skin on the surface and help it glow. An easy first step to achieve.

Hair: What could come next after shaving than getting a hair cut? At the moment, the fashion for men is for very short hair. Ditch the 60’s look with parted hair. At the same time, you don’t want to look like everyone else as in a prison. Try to find your unique style or if you are drastically changing your haircut, then that’s good enough. At the very least, you want to trim it and give it some shape. Hair grows from the root so the ends are the oldest and most damaged. So a trim will help to get rid of the old bits. Finally, use hair gel sparingly, if at all. You don’t want to be dripping wet or send the wrong message to the other sex.

Clothes:To wrap up the goods nicely, you need beautiful clothes. Ditch the comfortable tracksuit outfit or rugby shirt and go for clothes that have shape. A shirt for example. Pure cotton shirts are great if you are of the luxury type.If you have a good figure, wear a slim-fit shirt to emphasize it, otherwise, keep to the standard cut. If you want to wear a suit jacket yet still look relaxed, team it up with a plain t-shirt underneath. With a suit jacket, even jeans will do. Finally, if you really like t-shirts or just want to look casual on a hot summer day out, polo shirts are a great alternative.

These tips to improve your appearance can help in your everyday couple’s life or if you are single, to inject some vitality and new blood into your dating habits. Good luck!

Guest Post written for MU Shirts. Find a great collection of menswear on their site.

3 Tips to Making Holiday Gatherings Easier as a Couple

2011-06-08T06:14:00.000-07:00

Holiday gatherings can be exhausting with all the cooking, cleaning and decorating. You shouldn't have to worry about familial relationships, too. The waters get even murkier when you have your partner's family to deal with. Before barricading yourself in a closet during the next family celebration, check out these three tips for surviving holiday gatherings as a couple.
1. Get a room: Sure, spending a long weekend squeezed into your parent’s house with your siblings and their families might seem like it would make for fun-filled walks down memory lane, but you’ll probably just end up being reminded about all the things that annoyed you about them when you were kids; like the fact that they take super-long showers that use up all the hot water, or they insist on watching nothing but football, loudly, 24 hours a day, or that they put dibs on the queen-sized bed in your old room because (they claim) they have back problems that the pullout in the den will only make worse. If you can afford it, save your sanity (not to mention your back) and get a hotel room. You won’t have to share a shower with 10 other people, you won’t have to sleep on the couch, and it will give your significant other a much-needed break from your over-bearing parents.
2. Make a game plan: Holidays can wreak havoc on any diet. It seems like every gathering is centered on food – and not the healthiest of food at that (cocktail weenies and cheesecake sampler, we’re talking to you). Celebrating the holidays as a couple is a great way to meet each other’s family, but it can also be a great way to end up with a stomach ache. Before heading out on your holiday visits, make sure you have a game plan for how you’re going to handle meals and share it with everyone involved. You might decide to have dinner with one family and dessert with another. It’s important to let your families know what your expectations are, so that way your Aunt Mildred doesn’t insist that you eat a second helping of her green bean casserole or your mom doesn’t force a piece of pie on you. Communicating early on will not only ward off hurt feelings, but it might also help your family plan the day better.
3. Be a melting pot: If you’re the lucky person who gets to host both your relatives and your significant other’s family, make sure to blend in traditions from both sides. Use your mom’s recipe for dressing and his aunt’s recipe for apple pie (better yet, make it a pot luck where members of both families bring their signature dishes). Ask someone from your side to say the blessing and someone from his side to cut the turkey. Discuss with your significant other beforehand what traditions are most important to his or her family, than find ways to incorporate yours. While you’re at it, try adding a new tradition that’s solely your own to make the holiday special for you and your beloved. Again, communication is key when navigating this tricky holiday territory, so make sure to have an open discussion with your partner and his or her family if need be.

About the Author: This is a Guest Post by Susan Price who blogs about travel related subjects such as cheap flights .
Photo Credit : Juliaf

Compatibility Dating Site Quizzes-Do These Tests Help Your Aim or Miss Their Mark?

2011-06-03T12:03:00.000-07:00

We’ve all seen those ever popular dating site advertisements that claim their compatibility test will match you with your perfect soul mate, but do these tests really work? Let’s put it this way, these types of cupid love calculators only help give us insight into whether it’s a good idea to fall in love with a specific person. They can’t predict actual outcomes of chemical responses to love or emotional bonds that could be established with a prospective match. While they are not miracle workers, compatibility match tests do have their advantages.

They may sound like just a gimmick, but some of them can help us learn more about ourselves and what we are looking for in a partner. By laying your wants and needs out in answering a few simple questions, you gain a better understanding of what your deal breakers are in a relationship. Just like your ever important shopping list, you can check off the things you really need to have to create the perfect recipe for love.

This means you only have to put your ideal matches into your dating site grocery cart and you don’t have to worry that you’ve overfilled it with needless items cluttering up your relationship cupboard. Compatibility tests are just one piece of the puzzle, but they do help you get one step closer to putting the big picture together by focusing and streamlining your goals for finding a partner.

If you have an open mind and take these tests seriously, you can minimize the outcome of incorrect results. Using scientific methods to find love never hurt anyone. By using these compatibility formulas you can add to your arsenal of love arrows and help them in finding their mark. It’s all about perception and judgment of yourself and what you believe is good for you in developing a healthy and fruitful relationship.

If you don’t have time to dedicate to filling out a form, then you don’t have time to establish a love match. We all know that using specific criteria information by itself will not help you find true love, but it may just open the door to many more possibilities and future connections that are tailored just for you. Think of these tests as a love Einstein GPS, calculating your guide route to better matches and a higher rate of success in finding your way through the dating site jungle.

About the Author:

Tiersa writes for datingsite.org and onlinedatingsites.net and enjoys writing about today's modern dating dilemmas and the unseen quirky side of relationships and dating sites. We provide relationship advice, tips and reviews on the 25 top dating sites.

Saying the 3 Little Words I Love You

2011-05-17T13:05:00.000-07:00

Photo Credit: istockphoto.com

Those three little words we are all aching to hear from our partner are said a lot. You know the words I’m talking about. “I love you.” People say it all the time to one another. But often times, they are said automatically, mechanically, and when that happens it lessens their meaning. If you are in a relationship and you have said those words to your partner and he hasn’t said them back, it can be embarrassing, awkward and painful. No one wants to be in a one-sided relationship, so when we tell our partners we love them, we hope to hear it back. We want them to love us too. Who wouldn’t?

As a big Seinfeld fan, I remember the episode when George tells Jerry he wants to let the woman he’s currently dating know that he loves her. Jerry tells George that saying “I love you,” to a woman is risky. It’s a big matzoh ball floating out there, and if she doesn’t say it back, it can be quite a blow. This is definitely true. If you are in the beginning stages of a new relationship, you don’t want to say the words too soon. Some men and women, have trouble accepting words of endearment, especially in a new relationship. Saying “I love you” too soon can sometimes backfire if the other person’s feelings don’t quite match yours.

A friend of mine has been in her current relationship for just under a year. She and her boyfriend met on a dating site, began a brief long distance relationship, and eventually she moved to his city to start a new job and of course to be with him. They make a very good couple and things between them seem to be moving along very well. However, she felt like she was falling in love with him, and when she told him, all he said was, “wow.” And he didn’t respond with anything more than that. Obviously, she was upset, but she also realized that he just wasn’t emotionally at the same level as she was.

She backed off, and their relationship continued to grow and evolve. It is often said that actions speak louder than words, and though my friend’s boyfriend would never say he loved her, it was apparent how he felt by how he treated her. Very lovingly. But still…we need to hear it. One Sunday afternoon, they were spending the day together, and he quietly told her that he loved her. “I love you,” he said. Simply. No-nonsense. He was finally able to acknowledge his feelings and verbalize them. Because she waited and never pushed him, those words meant so much to her. He wasn’t saying them because he felt he had to or because it was an automatic response. He was saying them because that’s how he felt.

Words don’t mean anything if there isn’t action behind them. So if you’re not quite ready to say things you don’t feel or don’t mean, you should wait. And if someone you care for isn’t saying them to you, just know they aren’t ready yet. But one day they will be, and it will mean so much more if you wait for it.

About the Author : This is a Guest Post from Debbie Lamedman who is a playwright and freelance writer who writes about online dating and relationships. Among some of the websites Debbie writes for is DatingSite.org. She also has a personal blog at Confessions of a Cluttered Mind.

Finding Love outside Your Social Circle

2011-05-09T00:54:00.000-07:00

Most of the couples, even in today's world, still meet via friends and family. Many others meet in college or at work.

However, there are many good reasons to Find Love Outside your Social Circle. In this post I will discuss the benefits of looking for your partner outside you social circles. We will also discuss the different aspects of how interactions and connections between men and women happen.

What's wrong with dating friends and job colleagues?
When dating a friend of a friend, or someone from work, think how much pressure you can have. Everything you do, say or try will be "reported".

And even if not, just the feeling that you can't be free (and be yourself) makes me nervous. And what about dating someone your parents arrange you? Even Worse!

That's why, as a basic rule, I personally oppose to date women that are a part of my social circle. It just doesn't feel comfortable.

Another factor that is important is what I call "Variety": If you work in a small office, does it mean that you can only choose from the 5 people who work with you? And what if you have a small family and just a few friends? Dating within you social circle allows you a very limited variety to choose from.

To me, I also want to add that I like meeting new people. It makes me feel energetic and dynamic when I go on a date with a new girl that I know nothing about. What about you?

Meeting outside the Social Circle

The No.1 Thing that makes it so difficult to meet people outside your social circle is the fact that you need to meet New People. You need to approach and Initiate Conversation.

What it means is that the man's role becomes more dominant: In human society, men are expected to approach and women are only expected to give signals of interest. The biological roots of this "rule" are that man's attraction mechanism is mainly visual – men are attracted to women based on physical looks.

In order to succeed dating outside your social circle, we need to understand what attracts men and women, and how interactions happen.

Different Attraction Mechanisms

According to Psychological studies, women and men have Different Attraction Mechanisms. Attraction is created primarily in our subconscious mind, so we usually don't notice what attracts us to the opposite sex.

What attracts men to women: Beauty, Soft Skin, Curvy Body, Feminine Behavior.
What attracts women to men: Physical Strength, Leadership, Decisiveness, Social Skills, Humor, Confidence.

As you can easily notice, men are attracted to mostly visual characteristics, most of which are physical looks. On the other hand, women are attracted primarily to masculine behaviors.

According to studies of human attraction, men's attraction is 80% based on physical looks and 20% on behavior, while the woman's is only 20% based on physical looks. This explains why men can easily "fall in love" within seconds without even interacting with the woman, while it rarely happens to women.

Man's Job to Approach

As we saw above, women aren't that much attracted to physical looks. It is one of the reasons why we don't expect them to approach and show interest in a man. In many cases, they are just not interested yet. They need to get to know the guy first.

Another factor that takes part here is social conditioning. According to the "rules" of human society, women are not expected to approach men. Even if they want to approach, social conditioning prevents this from happening.

The last factor I will mention here is about attraction. Men are attracted to feminine behavior in women. When we say feminine, it includes, well, being shy, confused, not aggressive. The best association that I have is of a young princess. When a woman approaches a man, there is something not feminine in this.

These are 3 reasons, for which women will rarely approach men they don't know. Because we are talking about love outside your social circle, it means that it's the man's job to initiate and approach. If men don't do this, no interactions will take place.

Women Give Signals

It's the man who needs to approach, but does it mean that women need to remain completely passive? In fact, the answer is No. Women use Signals to show their interest in a man.

When I say "Signals", I first of all mean all kinds of signs that women can use to show their initial interest in a man. This can be done by using looking at the man (and then looking away), by touching the hair, by moving closer to the man; even by touching him accidently.

But signals also include indicating the man that the woman wants to continue the conversation. In fact, if a man approaches a woman, she can easily stop the interaction. But showing interest can be done easily, even by continuing talking.

Using all those signals, which is sometimes done subconsciously, is what actually creates the conversation and determines its success (or failure) and where it will go further.

Male fear of Approach

Men have a variety of fears regarding approaching women. It can be the fear of rejection ("What if she says 'No?'"; or the fear of failure ("What if she refuses to give me her phone number?"); or the fear of social criticism ("Everyone in the bar will see me"). There are around 20 various fears of approach, and every man has one or some of them.

This fear is described by many as even stronger than the fear of public speaking. So, if a man doesn't approach a woman, it doesn't mean he is not interested. Perhaps he is just afraid of approaching.

Overcoming the fear of approach creates many opportunities, both for men and women. How can women assist men in overcoming their fear? Using the signals we discussed above. If a man feels that a certain woman is interested in him, it will definitely help him in dealing with his fears.

Bars, Cafes, Library, Supermarket etc

Finding love outside your social circle means, that no matter if you are a man or a woman, you need to find a partner that you currently don't know.

This can be done in any place where singles go. Bars and Night clubs are great, but even during the day, doing your casual activities; you can find your mate.

It's the man's job to approach, but it's the woman who can indirectly show her interests by showing signals of interest.

Understanding what attracts us to each other and how the process of meeting new people works, can help us succeed in dating outside our social circle, and eventually find our love.

About the Author: This is a Guest Post by Richard Liso who is a fan of personal improvement. He also has his personal blog about Dating and Attraction.

Happy Mothers Day 2011

2011-05-07T23:24:00.000-07:00

Mother's Day is celebrated on different days and dates in different parts of the world. Most countries celebrate Mother's Day on the second Sunday in May. This is a very special day to make a Mother or Mother like person special. Majority of people all over the World show appreciation for their Mother's on this day by gifts and gestures. Some of the countries celebrating Mother's Day this year on May 8 are Anguilla, Aruba, Australia, Austria, Bahamas, Barbados, Bangladesh, Belgium, Belize, Bermuda, Bonaire, Brazil, Canada, Chile, China, Colombia, Cuba, Croatia, Curaçao, Czech Republic, Denmark, Ecuador,Estonia, Ethiopia, Fiji, Finland,Germany, Greece, Ghana, Grenada, Honduras, Hong Kong, Iceland, India, Italy,Jamaica, Japan, Latvia, Malta, Malaysia, Netherlands, New Zealand, Peru, Philippines, Puerto Rico, Singapore, Slovakia, South Africa, Suriname, Switzerland, Taiwan, Tanzania, Trinidad and Tobago, Turkey, United States, Uganda, Ukraine, Uruguay, Venezuela, Zambia and Zimbabwe.

I wish all the Mothers in this World a very happy Mother's Day,2011.