My friend, whom I happened to know is an aspiring speaker, posted the following comment on FaceBook “

“Managed to ski today. Turns out I feel more alive when I am slightly scared.”

Her words jumped off the screen and smacked me between the eyes. Only for me, the thing that scares me slightly is public speaking.

My admission might surprise you, especially if you know me. People usually tell me that I come across as confident and fearless. But they are wrong.

When I am speaking to a group there is always a controlled level of terror going on inside my head. However what helps me is that I have come to know that terror and to embrace it. My friend’s skiing post reminded me that it’s harnessing that terror that makes me feel alive when I speak in front of an audience!

The relationship between fear and excitement

The other thing about my friend’s comment was that she specifically used the words “scares me slightly.” Adding that word “slightly” is important. Too much risk and the terror stops you from doing whatever it is that you are afraid of.

Where there is fear, there is excitement. Where there is excitement, there is energy, and energy is an essential component of an engaging speech.

My question for you…

Would you like to feel more alive this year?

So, if you want to feel more alive, find out what it is that scares you a little, and then find a way to do more of it. If that activity happens to be public speaking, then embrace it.

I am living proof that facing your fears brings energy and passion to your life and I am here to help make that fear manageable.

In the meantime, please help me – share this post by email or on social media so that your family friends and colleagues can benefit too.

Happy 2019
Gavin Meikle – The Presentation Doctor

It got me thinking about metaphors relating to public speaking and the idea for this post about how to write a speech just popped into my head and wouldn’t go away!

A few hours later, I was sitting in my favourite cafe on Southsea seafront, sipping an Americano, and writing this post about how…

Writing a speech is like cooking Christmas Dinner.

Imagine you had some friends coming to Christmas dinner and you had to decide what to cook for them.

You could go for the easy option and just cook your favourite dishes, hoping that your guests would like them too. Or, you could invest a little time thinking about the people who you were cooking for, and then create a bespoke menu that would appeal to them.

• Are they vegetarian?
• Do they have any food allergies?
• Do they like spicy foods or not?

Giving thought to the people you are cooking for is likely to result in a much better experience for everyone concerned.

The same is true when it comes to speech writing

• Who is your audience?
• How much do they already know about your speech topic?
• Are they “already on board,”   sceptical or even hostile to your topic?

Spending a little time thinking about your audience will result in a better speech that is more likely to have an impact on your audience.

Also, I worded this metaphor to deliberately encourage you to think about your audience as friends rather than enemies. This simple mindset shift will boost your confidence and help you build rapport with your listeners.

So, now you know why writing a speech is like cooking a meal for friends, and how this simple insight can show you how to write a better speech!

Bon Appetit!

Additional posts on this topic

If you’d like more help on how to write a speech, you may find these other articles helpful too.

How many words?

Speech writing tips courtesy of Walt Disney

How to Write  a speech – write for the ear, not the eye

As a presentation and public speaking coach, this simple statement is by far the most common reason people give for avoiding presentations or public speaking.  And, on the face of it, it makes perfect sense, until you realise that confidence isn’t something that can be bought or taught. It’s something that comes from within. True confidence only comes when you do the very thing that you fear.   So most people are trapped by what psychologists call a “double bind” where there is an inherent dilemma between two conflicting beliefs. In this case, the two statements are

1. “I can’t speak because I am not confident”
2. “I can’t become a confident speaker until I speak in public”

The best way to break out of this self-limiting mental trap is to question the truth of these two statements.

Having spoken to thousands of speakers, I know that all of them were petrified when they first started public speaking. They realised that you don’t actually need to feel confident to start speaking.  Then, the other day,  I heard Jacqueline Gold, the CEO of the retail brands Ann Summers and Knickerbox being interviewed on the radio for the BBC’s Desert Island Discs programme. During the broadcast, she expressed this concept in a wonderfully concise way. She said…

“I have always found that courage always comes before confidence.”

You see, the truth is that confidence is a by-product of doing the things you fear to do. When you say you need to be confident, what you actually mean is I need to find the courage to express my knowledge, ideas and opinions with a group of other human beings.

So how do you find the courage?

Here are five ideas to help you face your fear and discover the courage to speak in public

1. Start by speaking about topics that you know and care about

   Sounds obvious I know but it’s much easier to speak about stuff you know about and believe in.  A baby learns to crawl before it can walk and then run. So too, should you start by making your challenge stretchy but doable.

2. Find a friendly supportive audience

   Usain Bolt’s first race wasn’t in the high-pressure arena of the Olympic finals. Start by speaking to small, friendly groups who will support you and give constructive feedback rather than harsh criticism.

3. Prepare what you are going to say in advance.

   Yes, I know that you probably admire people who appear to be speaking off the cuff without any notes, but you have to remember that they have been developing this skill for months or years. Take time to script or outline the structure and flow of your presentation and then practice it on your own before you stand up in front of others.

4. Remember that the audience is on your side

   Most people find public speaking scary at first and your audience is no difference.   The fact that you are standing up in front of them shows that you have the courage that they lack.  They are literally willing you to succeed.  Take a moment to remind yourself of this fact before you start to speak and you’ll tap into an empowering source of energy that will bolster your courage.

5. Remember that your audience is much more important than you are

   Many people tell me that public speaking becomes significantly less frightening when they remember that they are doing it to help other people.  You’re not doing it to show off or to look clever, you are doing it because you have a message that you believe other people will benefit from hearing. This simple shift in your mindset can and does make a huge difference.

Over to you

So what do you think –  Is there anything at all in this post that you could take away and experiment with? If so please try it out and let me know how you got on.
Also, If you liked this post, please do your friends and colleagues a favour – like and share it on social media.

Let me start by telling you a true story

Once upon a time…

I was reviewing the recording of a session with my coach when I was confronted with an all too personal example of how one of the stories I was telling, was preventing me from progressing with my business.  – Scary or what!

It all started when she asked me about my long-term goals.  Without a pause,  I heard myself launch into a familiar story which justified my current avoidance of future planning.

It went something like this. “I hear what you are saying, but I have a problem with planning too far ahead.  I ‘m just not a natural forward planner, and I’ve always struggled with goal setting – it never seems to work for me.”

Hearing myself say this, and then listening to my coach reflect back that she had heard me tell this same story at least three times in the last couple of months, stopped me in my tracks.

Why?

Because I suddenly realised that this “story” simply wasn’t accurate.  In that moment, it was as if a little voice inside my head had asked me the question, “Is this true?”  When I took the time to reflect, I began to I recall several times from my past when I had set, and achieved seemingly unattainable goals.

The more I thought about this, the more I could see that what I was telling my coach, (and myself), was a well-rehearsed “story” caused by one bad experience which I was now generalising to my whole life – I was allowing an embarrassing failure to overwrite a lifetime of successes.

Why am I Sharing This Story with You?

I am writing this article because, if this sort of self-limiting belief story can happen to me, then it could happen to you too.  I wanted to share this “wake up call” in the hope that it will prompt you to think about your own stories and look at whether a) they are correct, and b) they helping you grow or are holding you back.

When it comes to thinking about storytelling for speakers, there are two types of story you need to consider  The first and the most obvious, are the tales you tell your audience to help them engage with and understand your messages.   The second, are the ones you tell about yourself. The ones that become more real with every telling until the point that you can’t separate fact from fiction.  Have you ever said any of these stories

• “I’ve never been a good speaker!”
  – Do you really mean that you’ve never given a speech that someone hasn’t enjoyed, even just a little?
• “Every time I try to speak in front of an audience, my mind goes blank, and I stand there unable to think of what to say next.”
  – Is this true?  Can you not think of at least one time when you spoke without drying up?
• “I’m an introvert, so I can never be a successful speaker.”
  – Try telling that to one of the most famous introverts and successful presenters – Steve Jobs!

So What Can You Do?

1: Get Curious

As I discovered myself, you can’t fix this disempowering habit if you are not aware that you have it. Step one is you get curious about the stories you tell about yourself to yourself and others. Set the intention to make a note of them as they arise.

2: Reality Check Your Stories

Press your mental “pause button” and put on your investigator’s hat.  Find a quiet space where you can look at the facts and ask yourself the following questions:

• Is this story really true?
• What evidence do I have to support this story?
• When is this story not true? Look for times in the past when you have done something (no matter how small) that contradicts your precious story.

3: Start Telling a More Accurate Story

In exploring this topic, I came up with the analogy that our thinking is like the software running on our computer.  It works well for a while, but eventually, it becomes outdated and needs an upgrade.   Are you still running Windows 3.4 or have you upgraded to windows 10?   Once we have identified stories that are not helping us, we need to replace them with an updated version.

Example:

Old Story (inaccurate /unresourceful): “I’ll never be a good presenter.”

New Story (more accurate and resourceful): “My presentation skills aren’t perfect, but  they are constantly improving with each speech.”

Now comes the hardest part of all.  Set the intention that, every time you catch yourself telling the old story, you stop yourself and replace it with the new, more resourceful version. Remember, the more you tell the updated story, to yourself and others, the more comfortable you feel about it and the more believable it is to you.

Good Luck

Life, like storytelling for speakers, doesn’t  always give us a smooth ride. Inevitably, we face challenges and overcome most of them. In doing so, we become stronger and wiser with each hurdle t. Take comfort from the fact that you are not alone on this roller coaster journey and remember to ask for help from your fellow travellers.

Gavin Meikle

The Presentation Doctor

What is pitch and why is it important?

In vocal variety terms, pitch relates to whether you are speaking in a high, low or natural voice and it is defined as the rate at which your vocal folds vibrate. The faster the vibration, the higher your pitch, the slower the vibration, the lower your pitch.  Your “natural” pitch is influenced by a number of physical factors such as the length and thickness of your vocal folds as well as the size and shape of your body, but can also be affected by things like your emotions and your mood.  For example, if you are feeling stressed, the muscles around your vocal cords will automatically contract, and your pitch will rise.

There has been a lot of research into effects of vocal pitch and how it is perceived and there is now a body of academic literature supporting the idea of a general preference for lower vocal pitch. Participants tend to ascribe more positive personality traits to lower pitched voices (O’Hair &Cody, 1987; Imhof, 2010)

A well-known example

Margaret Thatcher became Britain’s first female Prime Minister in 1979, but when she first entered parliament in 1959 her voice was described by many as “shrill and hectoring”.  Researchers who have studied recording of her speeches over the intervening period noted that it gradually became deeper and more “steely.” Her biographer claimed that, around 1975 when she became the leader of her party, Mrs Thatcher engaged the services of a voice coach from the National Theatre to help make her voice more authoritative.

You can listen to examples of this change yourself here

Please note; I am not advocating that you need to go to such lengths, however, there are some simple vocal exercises that can help you develop your tonal flexibility. They can make your speaking voice more engaging and interesting as well as help you to project more gravitas and authority.

Vocal Variety – placement and timbre

Have you ever heard somebody speak and felt that the richness of their voice was intoxicating? The term timbre relates to the texture of your voice, and it is distinct from both pitch and loudness.  In the human voice, timbre is a product of the way the sound made by our vocal cords resonates in the various air-filled cavities in our body.

These cavities include:

• Nose (nasal cavity including sinuses)
• Mouth (oral cavity)
• Throat (Pharynx)
• Chest

The voice that our audience hears is a blend, based on the relative amount of resonance from each of these three cavities

You have probably heard people who, for a variety of reasons, speak mainly through their nasal cavities.  This type of voice is often described as thin and reedy or sharp. In comparison, a voice that includes more resonance from the throat and pharynx is warmer, richer and more rounded.

A simple vocal placement exercise

You can start to become aware of your natural placement and how to change it by reciting a simple nursery rhyme out loud.

Step 1 – Place your finger tips lightly on the bridge of your nose and recite your chosen rhyme whilst focusing your attention on the vibration in your finger tips.

Step 2 – Repeat this exercise with your fingertips touching the sides of your throat.

Step 3 – Finally, repeat the exercise again with the palm of one hand resting lightly on the front of your chest.

As you change the placement of your voice, you will notice a change in tone and timbre.

Once you have become aware of the physical sensations associated with speaking from each of these resonating chambers, you can experiment with blending them to produce higher or lower and richer or thinner tones.

Try this vocal variety exercise out for yourself and let me know how you get on.

References

1 -http://acumen.lib.ua.edu/content/u0015/0000001/0002105/u0015_0000001_0002105.pdf

2 – http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/politics/11251919/From-shrill-housewife-to-Downing-Street-the-changing-voice-of-Margaret-Thatcher.html

Vocal variety is just one of nine key components of effective speaking, but it is often ignored or misunderstood. In this series of posts, I’d like to look at this important topic in greater detail and show you how you can improve your impact and engagement by learning how to harness the full power of your voice.

While the words you choose to deliver are undoubtedly important, they way you say them plays a significant role in your ability to engage and influence your audience to influence your audience. A carefully crafted speech can be

“A carefully crafted speech can be ruined by a dull vocal delivery.”

As its name suggests, the term vocal variety relates to the way you speak  and can be broken down into several elements including:

• Volume (Loudness)
• Pitch (Rise and Fall)
• Pace (Rate)
• Pause (Silence)
• Resonance (Timbre)
• Intonation

Vary your volume

Common speaking volume errors

• Speaking too quietly
  If your audience has to strain to hear you they will miss vital information if the problem continues, they will inevitably stop listening and do something less tiring – like thinking about lunch!
• Speaking too loudly
  If the average speaking volume is too high, your audience will feel as though you are shouting at them and you will almost certainly put them off, no matter how compelling your messages.
• Speaking at a constant volume
  Listen carefully to a natural conversation, and you will hear plenty of variation in volume as we emphasise certain points in our tale, yet put somebody on a platform in front of a group of colleagues and that natural variation in loudness will often disappear. The physical tension when we feel when under pressure restricts our vocal range.
• Allowing your volume to drop off at the end of each sentence
  Some speakers develop the bad habit of letting their volume to drop off as they approach the end of each sentence. This practice means that their audience will miss critical information and will feel that the speaker lacks energy and conviction.

How to develop your vocal variety in this area

Having worked with thousands of clients like you, I have noticed that speech volume problems usually come down to two main causes.  The first is physical tension caused by fear. Thankfully there are lots of tools available to help you overcome your fear of public speaking. The second is something that I call a limited vocal comfort zone.  What this means is that people often develop the habit of using a fraction of their full vocal range but are not aware of it.  This, in turn, leads to limiting self-beliefs like “I am just a quiet speaker”  or “I don’t do loud.”

“The human voice is capable of producing a broad range of intensity from a faint whisper to an ear-splitting scream, but most people only use a small part of that range.”

Let’s say we measured this vocal range on a scale of 1-10 where 1 is a whisper, and 10 is the loudest roar you could produce. I find that most people tend to speak between level 1 and level 5, and some rarely get above a level 3.  When they do this, they are only using less than half of their capacity, and so their message is unlikely to be heard.  What stops them raising their voice any further is a feeling that speaking any louder would be unnatural. Break through this self-imposed barrier, and the world is your vocal oyster!

“Tip for reluctant presenters  – if you do not feel as if you are unnaturally loud, then you are almost certainly speaking too quietly.”

How to expand your  vocal comfort zone

Tips for softly spoken speakers:

1. Give yourself permission to speak louder
   I know this may sound a bit “woo-woo” to some people, but before you dismiss it, think about it.  Many physical conditions are underpinned by a psychological component.  Our beliefs are immensely powerful and can the first step may be to challenge or question them.  Go “inside” and ask yourself “Am I OK with speaking louder when I want to?”  then pay attention to the feeling you get.   If you get a positive response that’s great.  If you don’t, then there is probably something deeper holding you back,  and you may benefit from visiting an NLP or CBT therapist to help you dissolve that blockage before proceeding.
2. Learn to speak from your diaphragm
   Having addressed possible psychological causes then the next step is to look at physical voice projection. Trying to force yourself to speak louder isn’t the answer.   Speech volume and the ability to project your voice is controlled, not by your vocal chords but by your diaphragm. The diaphragm is a dome-shaped sheet of muscle that sits below our lungs. When the diaphragm contracts it flattens, reducing the pressure in our chest cavity and sucking in air which expands our lungs. When the diaphragm relaxes it pushes up into our chest cavity, increasing the pressure and forcing air out over our vocal chords
   
3. Consider engaging a voice coach or singing teacher
   If neither of the above solutions is helping, it may be worth investing in some professional voice work.

“You may find it helpful to remember that your voice is powered by a column of air and that the deeper you breathe, the longer that column of air and the better you will be able to project when you breathe out.”

Tips for overly loud speakers:

If you have a naturally loud voice, then you face a different challenge, and you still have work to do.  An overly loud voice, particularly if used continually, can have damaging effects on the way you are perceived.  Take a lesson from professional communicators and storytellers and learn to modulate your speech volume to give much-needed contrast.  Being able to tone down your volume can create a much more intimate atmosphere that draws in your audience, as well as giving their ears a much-needed respite.

“A good speech needs light and shade”

Look out for the next post in this series which will focus on how to vary your pitch.

P, S, Please help me to reach as many people as possible by sharing this post with your friends and colleagues