Reluctant Sherpa

SMART Goals

noreply@blogger.com (Suzanne) — Thu, 23 Oct 2008 04:19:00 +0000

Starting this post out with a kind of dumb story from my past.

I wanted to be cheerleader at my high school like nobody's business. Mostly I wanted to be launched into insta-popularity like I'd seen happen with other girls. I was pretty clueless how to become popular otherwise ... developing social skills and eating less roughage didn't occur to me as a priority until I left for college.

Both my junior and senior years, when the cheer-learning period preceding tryouts came around, I went at it with a religious zeal, putting the same effort I put into getting my math homework done and studying for the PSATs into learning the cheers.

Both years I made the first-tier list of finalists, and to surpass the second and final tier, we had to learn a dance routine overnight.

Both years I muffed up some aspect of the performance. Both years I didn't make the team. Both experiences I didn't take well, treating them as catastrophic ends to my hopes of making a name for myself besides whatever mean things were circling around the halls.

There may have been other things factoring into this - but there was most certainly something at the physical level - beneath my intentions, which were all focused intently on joining this tribe - that kept getting in my way.

Over 20 years later, and I can tell you, the memory of all this still smarts some.

But from this experience I also have gained a deep respect and empathy for folks who really, really want something and who put a lot of heart and effort into getting it - and who come up short in the crucial moment.

This is not to discount the power of dreams and goals by any means … it is to affirm the value of understanding there may be more to not achieving a goal than failing to work hard or smart enough.

I don't know why - but I'm inclined to end this post with a "peace" - as in "peace be with you" ... especially for the yous who strive for success in everything - and probably reach it more often than not - may you have peace too.

When the truth leaks out

noreply@blogger.com (Suzanne) — Wed, 22 Oct 2008 03:53:00 +0000

Holding up a façade takes a heck of a lot of energy. Often the real story, the truth, keeps leaking out.

In The Birdcage (1996), a gay cabaret owner (Robin Williams) and drag queen companion (Nathan Lane) attempt to tuck their whole lifestyle under the sheets to be presentable to their son's fiancee's heavy-handedly right-wing moralistic parents.

From there, hijinks ensue.

Things keep happening (a wig falls forward during dinner, a biological mother shows up); details get overlooked (some fetching dinner bowls).

In your life -
Where do you feel like you're running really hard but not gaining any ground?
Where are you constantly seeing yourself "leak out" when you least want to?

Where do you feel you're stuffing yourself in? Putting a lid on yourself? Squishing yourself into an ill-fitting box or shoe?
What are you doing that exhausts rather than energizes you?

Fame, Wealth, Power, Beauty, and Happiness - and Coaching

noreply@blogger.com (Suzanne) — Mon, 20 Oct 2008 04:22:00 +0000

When presented with goals around fame, wealth, power, and beauty ... likely the attainment of more of some or all of these things ... do coaches deliver?

I wonder.

Or maybe the question is: SHOULD coaches deliver?

Fame, wealth, power, and beauty are certainly nice to have. Who would turn down:
-an extra $1000/month,
-15 minutes of flattering coverage on national TV (a la joe the plumber before the back taxes came to light),
-a lackey devoted exclusively to you,
-having your decisions judged highly and acted upon quickly,
-(for women) starring in the "after" part of a What Not to Wear makeover (at least the ones without the bowl cut - Nick, what were you thinking?)

But I hear again and again, though, that fame, wealth, power, and beauty are often cited as means to achieving some other end ("If I could just become a prosperous coach, and consistently bring home six figures, then I would be happy")

There is research out there showing that goals which are "means to an end" ("extrinsically satisfying"), like fame, wealth, power, and beauty, relate to unhappiness, anxiety and even some forms of psychopathology, while goals that are satisfying and sustaining in and of themselves ("intrinsically satisfying") like personal growth, affiliation, and community feeling relate to happiness.

Okay, fine - but what about the coach's job, again?

Well, any one person will have lots of goals ... and it's important to get a handle on what a client's whole constellation of life goals looks like (kick-start looking at your own life goal constellation here).

From there, you can get a sense of whether there is a good mix of intrinsic and extrinsic goals or something a bit more lopsided.

There is nothing wrong with "doing something for the money" or "becoming well-known in my field" - it is important to ALSO aspire to "cultivating and deepening friendships" and "spending more time with my children."

What Do Smart Women Do?

noreply@blogger.com (Suzanne) — Sun, 19 Oct 2008 02:26:00 +0000

Some choose to matriculate at Vassar, Bryn Mawr, or Wellesley. Some dismiss the seven sisters track. Some craft rich cheese. Some finish rich. Some settle. Many vote.

Some purchase smart women products. I saw this in brookline booksmith the other day and coveted it. Shame on me, to be so taken by a piece of ceramic.

De-Shoulding a Business Plan: A Clearing Exercise

noreply@blogger.com (Suzanne) — Sat, 18 Oct 2008 03:42:00 +0000

My coach is very clever. She somehow gets me engaged in talking about things I'd like to do to grow my own coaching practice, gets the energy going, gets me jazzed, and then at the end says - why don't you try putting all the stuff you just said into a cohesive state, like a business plan?

To which I choked: business plan? (instantly forgetting pretty much everything I'd said prior)

To which she replied: ahhh, one that ARTISTS use. And I'll give you some examples.

OO. I like artist. I like examples.

And lo, I read the examples and thought, wow, maybe I can do this. Then I set to writing my own and thought, oh boy, this is harder than I thought.

For those who don't know me, not only am I reserved, but I am also very shouldy when it comes to my own pursuits.

In constructing the "business plan for artists," I found myself shoulding all over the place.

I've read blogs and newsletters and books and done programs on shoestring and duct tape and action plan marketing, platform building, booking myself solid and building my professional practice, million dollar and six-figure coaching, all with multiple streams and a cherry on top.

According to these materials, there are plenty of rules and musts to follow, including: brand creation, squeeze pages, free samples, list building, productizing, packaging, and funnel building, to name a few.

And when it came down to it, thinking about all these rules I should follow in order to be a successful coach (which, I've learned, also means entrepreneur) made me want to curl up and dye. But I couldn't stop thinking about them.

So, in a handy-dandy little spreadsheet, I set up TWO business plans. One was a "should" business plan, where I spewed all the stuff learned from the books and blogs and programs. That one was on the left (in the Past, in tarot speak). And the other was the "preferred" business plan, where I put in objectives and goals that more suited who I am, where I am in with regard to coaching, and what I like to do. That one was on the right (in the Present/Future, in tarot speak).

Once the two plans were completed, I looked at them, and there was a big difference in language and tone between them. The "should" one was rushed and repeated mantras and buzzwords, while the preferred one sounded more grounded and more like me. And I could actually see myself making progress with the preferred one, while looking at the "should" one was kind of paralyzing.

So - I challenge YOU, who are struggling with creating your own business plans, let the Should voice have its say - on the left. Tire it out. A tired dog is a good dog. A should that has its say gets out of the way. Then fill in the right side with what you actually want, are able, and are willing to commit to doing.

Drop me a line afterward - I'd love to hear how this works for you!

Alluring Couture

noreply@blogger.com (Suzanne) — Fri, 17 Oct 2008 02:01:00 +0000

There is a blog I read that has nothing to do with coaching or dreamwork or writing - I read it because I flat out like it, just like the way I feel about Basket of Kisses. This blog is Couture Allure, and I'm addicted.

I am a sporadic vintage clothing shopper, opting for sizeless things like 20s opera coats or 50s swing coats - and more of a vintage clothing gawker, especially at vintage clothes in their context, worn by fashionable women of the era ... that's probably one of the reasons I love old magazines (Flair is a particular treat- glorious in design, and absurdly costly to produce).

So this week I'm learning the ins and outs of how to buy a hat and, in Tip #3, the proprietrix of Couture Allure dropped in this quote which stopped me in my tracks: ""Always look at the back view of your tentative hat ... sometimes a dreamy sweep of straw will crumble into a linear apology in the back."

A dreamy sweep of straw will crumble into a linear apology in the back ...

This made me think of two things right off the bat: being in integrity and being careful.

I would prefer to be a dreamy sweep of straw all the way around :)
and I would prefer to be in the COMPANY of dreamy sweeps of straw all the way around.

Precision and Lightness

noreply@blogger.com (Suzanne) — Wed, 01 Oct 2008 00:46:00 +0000

Your Reluctant Sherpa is named thus because she is 1. fairly reserved (unless we've known each other a while, and then out comes the leopard print and lampshade) and 2. not the most eager to tout the latest whatever (I'd rather land a vintage chanel suit than the most cutting of edge from H&M.).

There are a couple of blogs that are highly touted elsewhere that initially raised my skeptic hackles ("Seth Godin = guru. mm, how nice for him."). But in the spirit of open-mindedness and curiosity I've been reading some of his posts, guessing I would likely be leaving the Seth references, diggs, and stumblings to others.

Today I read a post of his, on precision, that seemed to connect a little with a post on goal-setting I just got around to posting.

For me, when I lightened up on the precision around the outcomes I sought (here, in finding a partner), things started happening:

I don't mean "right" as in "perfect in every way" … in fact, trying to be perfect and precise and cautious seems to mire me in stuckitude instead of neatly delivering to me exactly what I think I am seeking.

SG writes at a more global level about putting precision where it needn't be ...

"Precision is great, it's essential to engineering and to the function of many elements of society. It's almost impossible to be on time without precision, and quality depends on it. But when we reward people for senseless precision (and punish them randomly for not guessing what we actually meant when we asked a question) then all we're doing is muddying the waters about what matters and what doesn't."

What are your thoughts around precision? Where does it fit? Where does it not fit? When is it time to relax precision? When is it time to promote or enforce it? Can it be okay to let go of a "data is" reference sometimes?

No One Is To Blame

noreply@blogger.com (Suzanne) — Tue, 30 Sep 2008 03:51:00 +0000

you can look at the menu, but you just can't eat
you can feel the cushion, but you can't have a seat
you can dip your foot in the pool, but you can't have a swim
you can feel the punishment, but you can't commit the sin

This Howard Jones release used to encapsulate how I felt as my angst-ridden teen self. I took it very seriously then. Poor me. wah wah.

Now, in moments of struggle, I listen to it (bless youtube!) and it lightens things up somehow … although a little subdued, it is still so utterly 80s.

you can build a mansion, but you just can't live in it
you're the fastest runner but you're not allowed to win
some break the rules, and live to count the cost
the insecurity is the thing that won't get lost

Hmmm.
Looking more deeply in to the lyrics reveals a remarkable prescience there...

Mr. Jones, you were ahead of your time with that (mc)mansion reference …
Track and Field doping, ... and I think we're in the midst of a bit of that cost-counting part ... or at least we'll be doing a lot of it in times to come.

I guess we can take comfort, though, in some woah woah woah-oh-oh
Woah woah wo-oh-oh-oh-ohs

and do you feel scared - I do, but I won't stop and falter. If we throw it all away, things can only get better.

Flight to Quality

noreply@blogger.com (Suzanne) — Mon, 29 Sep 2008 23:41:00 +0000

Learned a new phrase on Marketplace today:

Flight to quality.

The investment definition goes something like this ... a movement of capital from riskier to safer investments.

I guess it's a marker of how terrible things have gotten (I mean aside from the obvious, and almost-mockingly, fortuitously-numbered 777 point stock market drop).

I kind of like the name though ... flight to quality ... what on earth could be wrong with running toward something good? It seems so much more active than the more inert-sounding House of Quality, which is something completely different, and unfortunately NOT a member of the Chambre Syndicale de la Haute Couture.

Having goals is terrific for happiness. Relaxing them some can be too.

noreply@blogger.com (Suzanne) — Mon, 29 Sep 2008 13:00:00 +0000

Also present on my google sidebar thingy is Gretchen Rubin's Happiness Project.

She writes:

Having goals is terrific for happiness. The First Splendid Truth says that to think about happiness, we need to think about feeling good, feeling bad, and feeling right, in an atmosphere of growth. Striving toward a goal gives a tremendous sense of growth.

Personally, I love goals - they're interesting - so much so that I was like a pig in sh** researching about different kinds of goals and being part of a group that continues to publish on goals and goal-setting.

Goals carry a lot of benefits, in that they are:

destinations ("my goal is this"),
baseliners ("I'm starting here and my goal is there, see?"),
direction setters ("I want to go this way toward the goal, not in this other direction"),
orienters ("I've done this and my goal is now this much closer, yippee") and
organizers ("This choice will get me to my goal faster, so I'll spend time doing it instead of something else").

And it is said that SMART goals are the best kind: Specific, Measurable, Attainable, Realistic, Time-bound.

I have lots of worksheets with my own SMART goals on them. When I look at these worksheets now, they strike me as very safe. They were written with the frame of: What do I need to write to ensure that, at the end of the year, these goals are accomplished.

It's good to be safe, right?

Let me throw something else into the mix …

When I look at my life on the whole, I've noticed that once I land on the "right" goal (as opposed to crafting the safe ones), it's then that real movement happens.

I don't mean "right" as in "perfect in every way" … in fact, trying to be perfect and precise and cautious seems to mire me in stuckitude instead of neatly delivering to me exactly what I think I am seeking.

Case in point:

In the fairly recent past, when I had a profile on match.com, I was very concerned with attributes - what attributes I included in my profile (what songs I referenced, what books I read, whether I mentioned the ph.d. or not, etc.), and what attributes I could tally in respondents (6 ft or taller - check, sort of my age - check, knows the hell of grad school - check, non-practicing catholic - check).

I looked for people "who looked good on paper."

Somewhere during that time I listened to a Clarissa Pinkola Estes cd where she spoke of what she hoped for in a mate for her daughters, and one phrase caught my ear: someone who makes the world bigger rather than smaller.

That phrase settled with me deeply somehow - I included it in my profile, lightened up the profile some, and gave up on searching for someone who matched at least 80% of my carefully generated filters.

When I relaxed, things started to flow a little better. I opened up a little bit, and started allowing things to happen and people to enter my life.

Eventually somebody showed up that was who I sought. He may have made it through the filters, maybe not - thing is, it was getting rid of the filter altogether that was key to moving this part of my life along.

Verdict

noreply@blogger.com (Suzanne) — Sun, 28 Sep 2008 21:21:00 +0000

Paul Newman's passing has made the rounds and most news outlets feature Color of Money, Hustler, and Butch Cassidy & the Sundance Kid.

Not one major outlet I've seen has mentioned The Verdict.

But that's the film that sticks out in my head ... for one thing because I watched it over and over, longing ... aching ... to live in Boston instead of where I was.

Hunting a little on the web led me to columnist Dan Rodricks of the Baltimore Sun, who writes:

Newman gave his greatest of all performances, as Frank Galvin, shaking with doubt, trying to claw his way out of a bottle to win a case for the family of a young woman left in a coma during an operation in a Catholic hospital. In the jungle of his fears, Galvin finds what E.B. White called "the flashy tail feathers of the bird courage."

Not sure why, but what Rodrick writes touches me ... Perhaps it's because I know my own jungle of self-doubt. And I am familiar with a strange determination that comes when you discover you're on the "right" path.

A comment on the IMDB site also rings for me now:

"How many movies give the most powerful and dramatic moment of the film to one of the secondary players? How many lead actors would be willing to just sit there quiet in a chair while a bit player and the second male lead share the big moment? It was a bold decision by both Newman, director Sidney Lumet and writer David Mamet and it is unforgettable."

There are so few who can set their egos aside in the service of something bigger.

I am saddened the world lost one of them yesterday.

Leading for Creativity

noreply@blogger.com (Suzanne) — Sat, 27 Sep 2008 22:46:00 +0000

Back in the day, while in the intrinsic motivation lab at Wisconsin, we talked a lot about the work of Teresa Amabile (a-ma'-bill-ay, not ama'-bile), who, at the time, published a lot on creativity in children. Turns out she's now publishing in Harvard Business Review.

She's got a neat article in this month's issue on leading for creativity and innovation.

At the end of the article, is a helpful guide for managers trying to increase creativity. It has a good deal about how to foster creativity in an organization.

When I read the tips, some of them at their core seemed really useful to coaching - both for the coach as well as the client - so, with a little recrafting, here they are!

Ask the inspiring questions.
Invite ideas to bubble up.
Use “coordination totems”—metaphors, analogies, and stories.
Encourage diverse experiences.
Provide sufficient time and resources for exploration.
Recognize how failing is useful, even essential.
Evoke the higher purpose of projects whenever possible.

A little Lipp Service to Coaching

noreply@blogger.com (Suzanne) — Sat, 27 Sep 2008 03:23:00 +0000

Basket of Kisses is one of the blogs on my google desktop sidebar feed thingys. I love Mad Men (see? and here too, see?), and Basket of Kisses is "an unofficial Mad Men blog from the highly creative, occasionally obsessive computers of Roberta and Deborah Lipp."

Me like highly creative, occassionally obsessive. Me like cookie too.

One of today's entries struck me as relevant to coaching, so I'm exerpting some of it here ...

Don: There is no such thing as American history, only a frontier. That crash happened to somebody else. It’s not about apologies for what happened. It’s about those seven men in the room on Friday, and what airline they are going to be running.
Salvatore Romano: So what does that mean?
Don: Let’s pretend we know what 1963 looks like.

What hit me is - some come for coaching when looking for their next place in life - be it a new career, a new way of being, or something that simply seems better than where they are now ...

In pulling for the essence of what the client is seeking, a coach might ask "what does (success, happiness, contentment) look like?"

And the client often says, "I have no idea" or "I don't know."

And then the coach counters "What if you did have an idea?" or "Let's pretend that you do know."

I personally do not get how this works, but it really does seem to.

Let's pretend we know what 1963 looks like.

Let's pretend we know what tomorrow will bring.

Catechism of 3:1

noreply@blogger.com (Suzanne) — Sun, 21 Sep 2008 16:35:00 +0000

What's 3:1?
3:1 is the average optimal ratio of positivity to negativity. 3 positives for 1 (constructive) negative.

Why is 3:1 optimal?
It relates to flourishing.

Flourishing? What's that?
In people, flourishing is "truly living rather than merely existing".
In a business, it's profitability, customer satisfaction.

What's positive?
Lots. In interactions, positivity can include expressions of support, enouragement, and appreciation.

What's negative?
Again, lots. Like disapproval, sarcasm, and cynicism.

Where are you getting this stuff?
Keyes & Haidt, 2003
Fredrickson & Losada, 2005
... and the inspiration comes from Kathryn Britton of Theano Coaching LLC who gave a presentation to the MentorCoach Alliance for Positive Psychology, which was thick, rich, and delish -I recommend you contact her to get a look-see and a listen for yourself!

Observation, Which - Shh - Might Really Be a Testable Hypothesis In Disguise

noreply@blogger.com (Suzanne) — Sat, 13 Sep 2008 03:26:00 +0000

A 10-word correction of a fact is more likely to come from a busy supervisor than a 2-word "Good job."

10 words versus 2.

Well, maybe the 2-word positive phrase is more "weighty" or "risky" than the 10-word corrective phrase ...

What do you think?

What have you observed?

Life Is of Such Great Value

noreply@blogger.com (Suzanne) — Fri, 12 Sep 2008 02:00:00 +0000

I'm listening to some of the 9/11-related coverage. Part of me needs to, I guess, though I was far from any of it, only distantly related.

The thread that sticks with me is one that spun out after the horror, when Ken Feinberg administrated the September 11 Victim Compensation. Probably because it's the piece I can most strongly relate to.

There are things I'm asked to quantify, put a price on.

Whether or not you agree with how, he put parameters to the unthinkable.

Why value one life more than another?

Cork Dork-Slash-Coach

noreply@blogger.com (Suzanne) — Wed, 10 Sep 2008 15:46:00 +0000

On Monday night, after a systems coaching class, I journeyed to a class on Spanish wines in Boston's South End. No.9 Group Wine Director Cat Silirie and her good friend and colleague Deborah Hansen, proprietor, chef, and sommelier of Taberna de Haro in Brookline were running the show.

In the tasting notes - (our wedding invitations were a million miles shy of the elegance of the little booklet we got) - an excerpt from the Lopez de Heredia website was featured.

And you know what? it hit me harder than what was covered in the earlier coaching class.

And that was BEFORE drinking any wine.

Cat asked that I read the paragraph aloud - and I don't think it was because of my beeyouteeful melodious speaking - I think there was a learning in there that I was supposed to hear and voice.

Cat's scary-intuitive that way.

"We mention tradition, not as an idea meaning immobility, opposition to change, but as a dynamic and aesthetic concept in maintaining principles and criteria that remain eternal."

"...our openess to change, flexibility, our non conformism and self criticism are the elements that allow us to face the future. The heritage from our ancestors is what makes our idiosyncrasies, into both positive qualities and attitudes."

The word that keeps bubbling to the top for me is Patience - darned if this house is not patient with their wines. The rose we tasted had been in the barrel for four years. Not all roses have the fortitude for that kind of aging.

I'd like to enjoy that level of fortitude. Some of that openness and flexibility sound pretty good too :)

Doctor, Doctor

noreply@blogger.com (Suzanne) — Wed, 10 Sep 2008 15:18:00 +0000

If you want to get me going, present me with someone with some sort of degree other than MD who calls him/herself "doctor."

Here's the rule handed down to me by the folks in my graduate school program:

You get to call yourself doctor for 24 hours after you have successfully defended your dissertation. Heck, you've just finished a book and a defense, you've earned the title. Enjoy it. For 24 hours.

Then shut up and get to work.

Yin-Yanging It

noreply@blogger.com (Suzanne) — Wed, 10 Sep 2008 13:02:00 +0000

Mulling over things like:

Coaching vs. consulting vs. therapy vs. mentoring. I very much want to put them into a tidy grid, like this one, or this one, that Patrick Williams, Ed.D., created. But in looking across the web, I see fuzzy boundaries and overlap. Or maybe it's my own filtering - I am more likely to see the fuzz.

Detachment vs. disengagement. Being detached, or non-attachment, is preached by many to be a good thing, to free oneself from being ruled by whatever it is one is attached to (money, approval) but disengagement - that calls up danger signals in my head ... a disengaged employee is a flight risk, a disengaged student won't learn. Would you rather be detached, or disengaged?

Judgement vs. discernment. One seems like something to run away from - Final Judgement, Judgement Day. Very capital lettery. One seems emblematic of culture and standards ... to be discerning, to have discerning tastes. Would you rather be called judging or discerning? Into which bucket would snobbery fit?*

Oh my goodness, by making these distinctions, I think I'm channelling Thomas Leonard, or at least his portable coach book. You know, I never met the guy, but I hear about him all the time in some circles. Brilliant, provocative, entrepreneurial.

While on versus-ing, let me go into what's really on my mind. Is there really a "turf war" among coaching training institutions?

Why? When there is so much to do to advance the field among those who have not yet tasted the benefits of coaching?

What would TJL say? Well, maybe he wouldn't care, he's got some skin in the coaching school game himself.

"People, I just want to say, you know, can we all get along? Can we get along?"
-Rodney King, 1992

~~~~~~~~~~
*Bless my coach for starting all this mulling off for assigning me the task of creating a "SNOB" "tarot card" with Upright and Reversal capacities - twas quite the worthwhile challenge!

ICF Coaching World September 2008

noreply@blogger.com (Suzanne) — Sun, 07 Sep 2008 21:37:00 +0000

There was a piece in this month's Coaching World on Demystifying Research: Turning Practice-Related questions into Research and Marketing Opportunities.

The research part pricked up my ears, of course.

One sentence in particular struck home with me: "When we ask our client powerful questions, we are essentially conducting research about our client's world."

It's so true, and I say this coming from the research arm of psychology (social/personality).

There was more in the article about gremlins around research ... I'm going to guess that gremlins are inner critic type things, not those creatures that reproduced like rabbits and created great havoc in the 1984 film.

Gremlins around research? Sigh.

Why is research made out to be so difficult? And statistics are inevitably invoked as the real poison pill. Gads!

I guess I shouldn't complain as this pain is my living.

What kinds of questions beg to be answered in the coaching domain? Here are some off the top of my coach-in-training head. Heck, maybe some of these questions are settled already!

Coaching clients:
-what makes someone a good candidate for coaching? are there some kinds of people more coachable than others?

Presenting issues:
-what issues bring people to coaching (that threshold between no-coaching and coaching) and what issues get uncovered as coaching proceeds? are the issues different for men than for women?

Technique testing (not to discount dancing in the moment and that every client is unique.):
-what kinds of methods and techniques within the coaching session work best for coaching around weightloss? around performance improvement? around finding a job? around finding a relationship? around paying down debt?

Homework:
-is there a way of assigning homework that is more effective than another? what gets done more often, what elicits blocks?
-is image-based homework effective (vs. text-based)
-what homework is works best for what coaching issues?

Format:
-is it more effective to coach 45 mins 3/x a month or 30 mins/4x month?
-is coaching more effective, and are clients more satisfied, the higher the fee?

Finding Truths in Offbeat Places

noreply@blogger.com (Suzanne) — Fri, 29 Aug 2008 15:10:00 +0000

Let's make the economy fun for a second.

Let's look beyond the big-daddy metrics like GDP and S&P 500, Housing Starts, Consumer Sentiment, and all to funner, more relatable things ...

Like the superbowl factor, skirt length theory, lipstick indicator. These numbers seem to be common knowledge these days ...

There's a new one on the table: the shrink index ... thank you Marketplace for contributing that gem.

What is it?

More opting for the cheaper, fewer-&-shorter-visit-requiring meds instead of psychotherapy.

Many Ways of Seeing

noreply@blogger.com (Suzanne) — Fri, 29 Aug 2008 12:58:00 +0000

A poem I found, untitled, but seems to be about coaching:

I.
More
Edge
Better
What I think I want.
What brought me here.

I enter, seeing:
Executive's new accessory
Charm for the idle rich
Celebrity balm

II.
Eyes closed
-where are you now?
I see and not-see

Circle around a tree, a window, a year
-what do you see from here?

Straight ahead: Root, bark
The usual performance, sung cadence
Generates ring upon ring.

But up there: young leaves
Tiny active transformers

Arrange like spread fingers
To let in big sky.

Making Room

noreply@blogger.com (Suzanne) — Thu, 28 Aug 2008 17:34:00 +0000

I've subscribed to this blog, NPR Blogs: My Cancer for a while and dammit if esteemed blogger, Leroy Sievers, passed away from it just the other week.

The blog carries on, penned by Laurie, Leroy's spouse - and she includes the following in today's post:

Mary E. Martin, in a poem entitled "Loss" wrote: "It's hard to make room for what is no longer there."

This broke my heart open, but I don't exactly know why.

What is no longer there.

Makes me think about those things … and people gone, dogs and cats.

But also regrets,

Blocked paths of the past.

What are you struggling to make room for that is no longer there?

You want to be happier?

noreply@blogger.com (Suzanne) — Mon, 25 Aug 2008 16:34:00 +0000

40% of emotional well being is under our control (S. Lyubomirsky; the other 60% is governed by genetics and life circumstances like socioeconomic status).

What does that mean?

You want to be happier?

Then make smart choices in the following areas:

Goals/pursuits/desires: you can pick what you strive for.
Social relationships/connections: you can pick your friends.
Habits of thinking: you can choose how to think about your circumstances and things that happen to you.

Stuck? Wallowing in self-pity? Ten Gallon Hat's a Feelin' Five Gallons Flat?

noreply@blogger.com (Suzanne) — Mon, 25 Aug 2008 16:20:00 +0000

Stop hankerin for that hunka cheese,

Try this instead!

Go to the VIA (Values in Action) strengths assessment, do the survey, and obtain your top five strengths.

It's free.

There is no agenda behind this - I don't gain any clicks or trackbacks. I'm not "driving traffic".

What I do know is - I did the assessment a few months back, and I'm still conscious of my top five strengths. (and believe me, I'm no stranger to the wallow)

It's way nicer to dwell on strengths than on shortcomings.

Isn't it?