The Smart Boss

Smart bosses understand that, while the business stuff matters (plans, processes, products, systems, strategies), the people stuff matters more. The best business strategy will produce the worst result if it’s driven by people who don’t feel valued, respected or cared for. If you’re a boss, take care of your people and they will take care of your business.

My Story

I’ve been a boss since I was twenty-two. Four years after I finished high school I was running a fitness centre and managing a team of gym instructors, group exercise teachers, swimming teachers, sales people and admin staff. So for me, the last twenty-seven years have been an on-going lesson in how to lead, manage, listen, connect and survive. And while I still own a gym, these days I’m less of a boss and more of a coach (for other bosses). It’s fair to say that some (not all) bosses are academically, intellectually and theoretically brilliant (high IQ) but when it comes to the people stuff (EQ, emotional intelligence)… not so much. Pretty good at business, not so good at people. 

Which means they’ll never be exceptional at business.

In my experience, the single biggest mistake made by bosses (and there are many) is that they assume their team thinks, communicates and perceives (situations, challenges, conversations) like them; with the byproduct being disconnection, not connection. Confusion, not understanding. Resentment, not respect.

So, if you’re an open-minded boss, you might find some of the following suggestions helpful. Conversely, if you have a boss who needs a little… er… help in this area, you might want to staple this article to his or her forehead.

1. Be less BOSS!! and more caring leader. Less ego, more conscious communicator and connector. Of course your staff know you’re the big cheese but do they believe that you genuinely care about them and value their thoughts and feelings?

2. Don’t be vague. Be clear and specific about what you’re saying and not saying. Don’t send mixed messages, don’t contradict yourself and don’t infer. Say what you mean, mean what you say and don’t make people guess.

3. Be consistent with your communication and leadership style. Don’t be the stand-up comic on Monday, the grumpy bastard (bitch) on Tuesday, the inspirational orator on Wednesday, the courageous leader on Thursday and the best friend on Friday.

4. Give less instructions and ask more questions. Encourage and coach your team to become the problem solvers, the creators, the idea sharers and the adaptors.

5. Don’t always talk about work. If you’re my boss, every now and then have a conversation with me about me. Not business plans, not projects, not timelines, not bottom lines and not KPI’s. No, talk to me about me. My life. My stuff. Take an interest. It matters. You don’t need to be my best friend and you don’t need to cross any kind of personal line but next week when you ask me about my dog’s knee reconstruction, I’ll think you’re ace.

6. Walk the talk. As a member of your team, if your actions aren’t a reflection of your words, I don’t respect you, trust you or want to work for you. Besides, I’m more interested in what you do than what you say. Words are cheap.

7. Don’t assume they understand you. Walk away from your window and look through theirs. After all, the only person who thinks (exactly) like you, is you. Make your conversation a two-way interactive exchange, not a self-indulgent monologue. Nobody wants a lecture. By the way, you don’t need to agree with someone else’s opinion to respect it.

8. Ask the hardest question. Put on your hard hat, bite your bottom lip and ask your staff to give you feedback on your leadership and communication style. Not always comfortable but done thoughtfully and intelligently, it can provide you with a level of insight, awareness and perspective that can’t be gained any other way.

Don't forget Craig's new book - Pull Your Finger Out - 101 Ways to Stop Wasting Time & Start Living Your Best Life. Click here:

Feed enhanced by Better Feed from Ozh

Same but Different

I’m not exactly sure why but for some reason, lately I’ve experienced something of a shift in consciousness. And awareness. Again. And yes, I know that might sound a little weird and new-age(y) but it’s just how I’m feeling right now. My reality. Sometimes it seems like I’m looking at old things in new ways and although things are kind-of the same, for me at the moment, they’re also kind-of different. Don’t know where the shift has come from but I’m just going with it.

Have you experienced something similar?

Do you ever find yourself having a particular conversation or doing a certain thing and right there in the middle of that experience you wonder why on earth you’re doing it? Like, what’s the point of this again? In a second, the thing you’re in the middle of shifts from important and serious to… “why does this matter and why are we talking about this?”

I have had a few of those moments lately.

Perspective

The other day I was having a very familiar conversation with someone (similar to thousands of other conversations I’ve had over the years), and in the middle of our not-particularly exciting or important dialogue, I kind of lost interest. Actually, I totally lost interest. And not because I didn’t care about the person but because I didn’t really care about the conversation we were having. Which was, to be honest, somewhat pointless, superficial, self-indulgent crap, which (in my experience) rarely leads to anything significant or positive. For anyone. And coming from a man whose existence was once largely pointless, selfish and superficial, this is quite the acknowledgment. Twenty-two thousand kids die in poverty every day and I’m consoling someone who’s hysterical about gaining a kilo. Good grief.

So there’s this thing called perspective…..

A Moral and Professional Dilemma

As a bloke who owns a gym and is always talking to people about their bodies, I am faced with a constant dilemma: how do I provide people with relevant information, support and encouragement (towards physical health, fitness and function) without perpetuating, re-enforcing or (even) creating unhealthy thinking, behaviours and habits in relation to their bodies? Want it or not, like it or not, the “you are your body” message is an ever-present one in 2013 and as such, many people have their emotional state, identity and self-esteem tied in to, if not, totally determined by, all things physical. On many levels, the prevailing message is…

…appearance matters most.

And what an unhealthy, anxiety-producing, dysfunctional paradigm that is to exist in. Not to mention, exhausting. Nonetheless, it’s where many of us live. It’s little wonder that eating disorders, cosmetic surgery, appetite suppressants (and the like), exercise addiction, anti-aging medicine and a terrifying collection of weird and wacky pills, powders, potions, products and procedures are now common choices and/or consequences.

The other day I read an article about an eight-year old girl battling anorexia who ‘learned’ how to eat by watching her body-obsessed mother. So while her friends are out running, climbing, laughing, playing and dressing up, this eight year-old is counting calories, doing sit-ups when nobody is watching and stressing about her appearance.

Wrong, wrong, wrong.

Turning the Car Around

Yes, it’s great to be in good shape physically and, of course, we all want to maximise what we have but this ex-bodybuilder and one-time insecure fat kid believes that too many of us are heading down a road of no return. It’s time to hit the brakes, to turn the car around and to start heading towards a new destination. A destination where our body is not ‘who we are’ but rather ‘where we live’. A destination where we value and appreciate the gift that is our body, without obsessing about it. A destination where we love our legs because they work, not because they’re skinny. I’m suggesting that it’s time to look past the abs, the biceps and the collagen-filled lips and to acknowledge where our body finishes and we start.

Think about that.

If you work in the fitness industry (and many of my subscribers do), I have an important message for you… you don’t work with bodies; you work with people who happen to live in bodies. Treat them accordingly. When you’re doing your job, you’re not talking to a hamstring, lung or body-fat percentage; you’re talking to a multi-dimensional (emotional, cerebral, spiritual) being who happens to currently reside in an organic home.

No matter how many pounds we lose, compliments we receive or jean sizes we drop, it will never be enough because insecurity (which is a manifestation of fear and a driver of all these obsessions) is an insatiable, greedy bitch. Try though we might, it’s impossible to resolve emotional issues with physical solutions. And having been the insecure fat kid, the insecure skinny kid and eventually the insecure adult bodybuilder, I should know.

 If what I’ve written today resonates, do something. Nodding your head is not enough. Knowing is not changing. Be courageous. Be honest. Be humble.

 Go deeper.

Don't forget Craig's new book - Pull Your Finger Out - 101 Ways to Stop Wasting Time & Start Living Your Best Life. Click here:

Feed enhanced by Better Feed from Ozh

Hi. Today, something that will be familiar to some of you (but well worth revisiting). It’s been tweaked and dusted off…

Too Scared to Try

Many people won’t even try because they’re scared of failure.

And because they won’t try, they won’t learn as they could. They won’t grow. They won’t build strength. Or resilience. And they won’t explore their potential. Neither will they develop new skills, insight or understanding. If only they would recognise the value in some occasional failure. If only they would understand that failure is, in fact, a myth. A self-created reality. An experience that we bring to life through our words, thoughts and beliefs. Something that doesn’t exist until we say so.

Just like success, failure is whatever we determine it to be.   

A Story of Two Runners

Kelly completes a 10km Fun Run in fifty minutes. Before the race, she had hoped to finish in less than an hour, so fifty minutes is something of a major triumph for her. She is genuinely happy. Kelly’s friend, Joe, runs the same distance and records the exact same time. However, he wanted to cover the distance in forty-five minutes or less. Consequently, Joe is devastated. He describes his experience as a massive failure and as a result, his psychology and his physiology are both a reflection of his belief; the belief that he has failed. He could have labeled his run many things but he chose ‘failure’.

He labeled it.
He believed it.
He lived it.

Joe was genuinely miserable.

The Power of Labels

He could have called his result a lesson, a surprise, a minor speed hump, an anomaly or simply, an experience. He didn’t. In reality, his misery was not ‘because of’ the run or the time; it was because of him. Specifically, his reaction to, and interpretation of, his result. If the run time (fifty minutes) had caused the subsequent misery then everybody who recorded that time would have ‘failed’ also. Clearly, they didn’t. The time was the trigger (for him) but he was the creator of the misery. The negative reaction.

One result, two very real self-created experiences: misery, joy.

In life, stuff happens and then you and I give those experiences a label. And when we ‘believe’ the label, we create our own personal reality. Good, bad. Hard, easy. Success, failure.

A New Story

But what if we simply chose not to fail? Ever. What if we shifted our paradigm a little to the left? What if we chose to re-frame our picture? To tell ourselves a new story? A better story? A healthier story? What if we removed the word ‘failure’ from our vocabulary and chose to have lessons, opportunities, challenges and experiences instead? Is this possible? What if Joe said “oh well”, shrugged his shoulders and simply let it go, instead of throwing himself into an emotional tailspin? What if failure wasn’t an option for us? What might we try? Do? Create?

And who might we become along the way?

Let’s Consider Babies

When a baby tries to walk but is at the point in their development when they lack the strength, balance and co-ordination to do so, what happens? They fall down. And then they try again. And again. Sometimes they laugh. Or cry. Sometimes, both. And then they keep trying and trying. And laughing and crying. They don’t evaluate or label their experience, they just have it. They haven’t failed; they just haven’t walked yet. Unlike me and you, they don’t label their experiences and they haven’t yet learned the possibility of failure, so they happily keep falling down until one day they take a few wobbly steps. And then a few more. And before long, they’re running. All their trying pays off.

They have fallen but not failed.

So, will you fall down and get up or will you fail?

Don't forget Craig's new book - Pull Your Finger Out - 101 Ways to Stop Wasting Time & Start Living Your Best Life. Click here:

Feed enhanced by Better Feed from Ozh

“When your career and your passion collide, you’ll never have to work again.”

Imagine having a job that rarely (if ever) feels like a job. Imagine a life where fun, enjoyment and fulfillment exist both inside and outside of your career. Imagine a job that genuinely excites you. One that, not only pays the bills, but one that also builds wealth on a mental, emotional, spiritual and social level. One that enables you to explore and exploit your potential.

A job that you love.

Well, I can’t tell you what your best job will be or where you’ll find it but here’s what I can tell you.

• Your best job won’t come looking for you.
• Your best job probably won’t be my best job. In fact, there is no universal best job.
• The job that gives you joy might give me anxiety.
• Your best job will probably change over time.
• Bitching about your current job is not a good strategy for finding your best job.
• You’ll probably have a few false starts along the way (if you haven’t already).
• You might find your best job where you never thought to look.
• The only person you should ask the “what should I do?” question is… yourself.
• Sometimes fear masquerades as logic; don’t waste talent, passion, opportunities or time because of fear.
• Transitioning from your current job to your best job might take significant time and you may need to go backwards to go forwards. 
• You might need to climb out of your pigeon hole and leave your security blanket behind to find your best job.
• Those closest to you are rarely the best career advisors (your best job might piss your dad off).
• The best job won’t always ‘make sense’. Sometimes sense is over-rated.
• If it doesn’t already exist, you might need to create it.
• Your best job won’t necessarily be the easiest or most comfortable job.
• You’ll never have more time or potential than you do today.

Happy job hunting. Or creating.

Don't forget Craig's new book - Pull Your Finger Out - 101 Ways to Stop Wasting Time & Start Living Your Best Life. Click here:

Feed enhanced by Better Feed from Ozh

Number Crunching

My current numbers: Weight: 87.5 kilos (193lbs). Height: 178 cms (5’10”). Body-fat: 8%. BMI: 27.6. Classification based on BMI: Overweight (heading towards obese).

But Weight… There’s More

From a health perspective, weight can be indicative but by no means, is it conclusive. How much you weigh matters but what your weight is ‘made of’ (so to speak), matters more. If you’ve been almost getting in shape for years and you’ve been known to get a little weird around the scales, then maybe it’s time to throw them away, get nude (not in public) and stand in front of a mirror.

Sometimes, the only figure that matters is the one looking back at you.

Don't forget Craig's new book - Pull Your Finger Out - 101 Ways to Stop Wasting Time & Start Living Your Best Life. Click here:

Feed enhanced by Better Feed from Ozh

From a ‘creating positive change and stepping into reality’ perspective, it’s fair to say that sometimes the thing we would-be changers want to hear is not necessarily the thing we need to hear. Just like some of us think we need chocolate. No, we want chocolate.

We need oxygen.

For me, knowing what somebody needs to hear (regarding their situation, challenge or goal) is not nearly as important as knowing (1) whether or not they are ready to hear what I have to tell them (the truth as I see it) and (2) whether or not they are genuinely ready to do something about it; no matter how comfortable or uncomfortable that ‘doing’ might be. In many cases, the practical change process (psychological, emotional, behavioral) is not nearly as fun, fabulous or sexy as the self-help brochures would have us believe. In fact, more often than not, it’s kind of painful and scary.

For a while, at least.

So when somebody tells us something that we might not want to hear about ourselves (habits, outcomes, attitude, behaviours), there’s often an automatic (and understandable) resistance, if not anger, at the message. Or messenger. After all, sometimes it’s easier to get angry, than honest. Or humble. Hearing certain things about ourselves or our situation can be tough but the thing we need to ask is… is it true? In the middle of our issues and fears, it’s in our interest to find a way to turn down the insecurity and ego and find some degree of objectivity.

By the way, when I talk about this kind of feedback I’m not talking about unsolicited criticism from strangers (or even family, for that matter) but rather intelligent, constructive input from people we trust and respect. As a coach (etc.), one of my biggest challenges is to judge (1) when to share something and (2) how much ‘truth’ to present to my audience (be that an audience of one or many) without creating disconnection.

It matters.

The right truth shared at the wrong time will do more harm than good which is why I don’t say as much… as I do.

Don't forget Craig's new book - Pull Your Finger Out - 101 Ways to Stop Wasting Time & Start Living Your Best Life. Click here:

Feed enhanced by Better Feed from Ozh

Let me say up front that I’m all for taking the piss out of blokes. We often deserve it. To a point. Let me also say that the graphic below doesn’t bother or offend me but at the same time, I don’t find it funny. Or necessary. Or particularly clever. I stumbled upon it on Facebook and the sentiment (all women’s problems begin with men) was well supported by many comments which happened to be insulting, degrading and humiliating to men.

Which I found very interesting. 

I’m all for treating people respectfully. All people. Old, young. Men, women. What I’m not all for is humour that seeks to gain laughter based on the degradation of any individual or group. Sadly, there seems to be a widely accepted mentality that men somehow ‘deserve’ to be criticised. Some men are dirtbags (yes, I agree)… so therefore, it’s okay (if not justified) to denigrate the entire sex. That is, all blokes. Well, at the risk of being labeled precious, this bloke doesn’t like it. And not because my self-esteem or ego can’t cope but because I think such messages further enhance the communication disconnect that often exists between men and women. And besides, it’s kind of nasty.  

And just so you know, I’m not a dirtbag. Neither is my dad or any of my mates. I’m a conscious, thoughtful (flawed) male who seeks to empower and encourage women (and men) towards their best lives and I don’t believe I’m anyone’s problem.  

I’m not easily offended and have received my fair share of…. er, let’s call it ‘ribbing’ over the years but for some reason, these days, insulting men as a collective is not only okay, it’s endorsed. By some, anyway. Calling blokes fat? Fine. Stupid? Fine. Inept? Fine. Amusing, even. Doing the same to women? Not fine. Disgusting. Sexist. Women insulting men based on their penis size (“he drives a Porsche because he has a small dick”) is not only acceptable, it’s hilarious. Apparently. I heard a female radio presenter do it the other day with no hint of “is this offensive?” Could you imagine what might happen if a male radio presenter was to make a not-totally-dissimilar vagina comment? Even the thought is distasteful, isn’t it?

But that’s different Craig….

Really?

Well, maybe we tell ourselves it’s different to justify our behaviour? Despite the outward bravado, I’m pretty sure most blokes don’t want that kind of judgment or attention. Most of us men are fully aware that we have a lot of growing, learning and changing to do (when it comes to being the ideal husband, partner, dad) but maybe the underlying sentiment from some women (men are the problem) perpetuates, rather than resolves, the gender disconnect.

Now before anyone gets all crazy on me, let me say that I love, value, appreciate and respect women. Totally. In fact, based on my writing, some people have suggested that I may indeed be thirty percent female. The majority of my readers (more than eighty percent) are women. As are my workshop audiences. As are the people who buy my books. As are the people who write me kind and thoughtful emails. I also acknowledge that women are often treated terribly by (some) men but that’s not what this particular post is about. 

While there are some men who absolutely deserve our contempt and disapproval based on their behaviour (women too, by the way), there’s also large percentage of blokes who just happen to be good people.

Moral, kind, generous and respectful.

Don't forget Craig's new book - Pull Your Finger Out - 101 Ways to Stop Wasting Time & Start Living Your Best Life. Click here:

Feed enhanced by Better Feed from Ozh

What?

What kind of weird-arse title is that? What does it even mean?

Well, in a not-very-technical nutshell, it means that some of us are crap at dealing with change and if we’re serious about creating better results in our world, we need to do better. On the one hand, we say we want to change our life (or part thereof) but on the other, when our day to day reality is not familiar, predictable and comfortable, we freak out. Sometimes, get angry. Occasionally, have an emotional melt-down.

A Barrier to Happiness

For many of us, the inability (or unwillingness) to deal with change, unpredictability and uncertainty is our biggest barrier to personal growth, empowerment and happiness. Period. In theory, we’re enamored with the fairy-tale of creating our best life (the fun, easy, painless, quick version) but away from the feel-good self-help fluff and out in the real world, many of us continue to avoid anything that might interrupt our all-too-familiar routines and rituals. We are predictably predictable. Of course, we want the results of change (the end benefit) but we don’t necessarily want the process of change. We want the rewards without the risk.

On some level, all this avoidance comes down to fear and ultimately, you will control it or it will control you.

Don't forget Craig's new book - Pull Your Finger Out - 101 Ways to Stop Wasting Time & Start Living Your Best Life. Click here:

Feed enhanced by Better Feed from Ozh

Hi Everyone. The very clever people at Penguin have put together this brief video as a part of the promo for my new book. It’s essentially six minutes (and a bit) of me talking about the relationship we have with food. If you have food issues (or someone close to you does), you might find it interesting or maybe even, helpful and empowering. Feel free to share it.

If you can’t see the video or you would prefer to watch it on the publisher’s (Penguin Books Australia) website, click on the link below.

http://www.penguin.com.au/products/9781921901386/pull-your-finger-out-101-ways-stop-wasting-time-start-living-your-best-life

Don't forget Craig's new book - Pull Your Finger Out - 101 Ways to Stop Wasting Time & Start Living Your Best Life. Click here:

Feed enhanced by Better Feed from Ozh

G’day…

Hi Everyone, I hope you’re ace. I apologise for being a little negligent with the downloads of inspiration, insight and hilarity lately but life is somewhat frantic with additional radio interviews, newspaper interviews, speaking commitments and general PR stuff around the new book. It will all subside a little by next week and I should be able to step back into my me-dot-com cardigan, slippers and pipe.

Crack pipe.

Stop it. Anyway, I thought I’d let you know that I have a few open-to-the-public seminars this week which some of you might be interested in attending. So, if your mind, body or life is in need of a little renovation, here are the details…

Melbourne (Wednesday): Renovate Your Body Seminar this Wednesday night (May 1) at Input Fitness, 224 Cranbourne Rd. Frankston from 7-8.15(ish) pm. It’s open to the public, so if you rock up with thirty bucks and a smile… you’re in. Phone enquiries: 9789 3566

Brisbane (Thursday): Stop F*cking Around Seminar for Bootcamps Australia. This is also open to the public and will set you back $30. Bargain! 7.30-9pm, Thursday night (May 2) at Queens Arms Hotel, 64 James St. Fortitude Valley. You can book here or you can turn up and pay on the night.   

Sydney (Friday): Stop F*cking Around Seminar for Bootcamps Australia. This is also open to the public and will set you back $30. Bargain! 7.30-9pm, Friday night (May 3) at BCA HQ 215 Parramatta Rd. Haberfield. You can book here or you can turn up and pay on the night.  

I hope to see some of you there.

Don't forget Craig's new book - Pull Your Finger Out - 101 Ways to Stop Wasting Time & Start Living Your Best Life. Click here:

Feed enhanced by Better Feed from Ozh