Hey!

Hi Everyone. Sorry about being somewhere else this week. Well, a little bit sorry. I have momentarily stepped out of the blogosphere but I’ll be back with a post tomorrow. Or the next day. Or June.

FYI, I’ve been working on my first kid’s book (ages 5-9) and I’ve been having a total ball. It’s a simple fun story with some cute characters and lots of life-improving principles woven through the tale. Of course. The final product could be total rubbish but I’m certainly enjoying the process. The initial feedback is positive but maybe they’re just being nice.  How much fun is it doing totally new stuff? Different stuff?

Ace.

Somebody asked me yesterday if the only child with no children of his own (me) could write something that kids will relate to and, more importantly, enjoy. “Good question”, I replied. “We’ll find out soon enough.”

If I only do the stuff I’m good at, or comfortable with, I’ll never be challenged, never grow and I’ll be really frickin’ bored. So, kid’s book it is. Apart from the end result, the beauty of doing new things and things out of my ‘field’ is that, one way or the other, I’m gonna learn something. I’m not sure how much potential I have but I am sure I don’t want to waste it.  

See you tomorrow. Or June.

“On the other side of fear is freedom.”

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Fat, Sick and Nearly Dead

I just finished watching a documentary called Fat, Sick and Nearly Dead; an interesting project by an Aussie guy. A first-time producer. It screened late the other night on some obscure channel here in Melbourne, so I recorded it to take a peek at a later date.

Snapshot

It’s basically a well-produced video account of a guy (the producer) who, for a range of common and uncommon health reasons, decides to lose a crap-load of weight by going on an extended juice fast (60 days) while traversing the U.S. He also connects with a bunch of interesting people along the way; from random strangers to selected medical experts. Of course there’s a little more to the story, but that’s the snapshot.

Now, I’ve never met or spoken to the guy, so I’m not here to do any kind of promo for his movie but if you are interested in weight-loss and all the associated psychological and emotional issues, it’s certainly worth getting your hands on a copy. On the totally-unknown Craig Harper movie rating scale (the one I just created), I give it four stars (out of five). While there were many interesting revelations to come out of the conversations as Joe (weight-loss juice dude) chats with a broad range of characters along his travels, there was a fascinating mindset that became apparent through many of the informal interviews.

On some level, many of the people interviewed were saying:

“I’d rather be fat and eat whatever I want than to (be forced to) eat healthy food and be miserable.”

Wow.

Imagine being ‘forced’ to eat food that will, not only drastically improve your overall health, function and energy levels (physically and mentally), but also potentially add years, or maybe even decades, to your life. Such a sacrifice.

How Did We Get Here?

So, how did we (well, some of us) arrive in this place? Where did this crazy belief come from? How is it that so many people associate healthy, fresh, whole foods with misery? Or with some kind of punishment? And I mean many people. Why are so many people terrified of fruit and vegetables? When and how did we learn this unhealthy lesson and arrive at such a life-shortening conclusion? How ironic that, despite the overwhelming evidence, people still associate junk food with happiness and a healthy diet with some kind of painful deprivation.

Here For a Good Time Not a Long Time

One seemingly-intelligent interviewee who appeared to be in his early fifties (a father of six) calmly stated that he would rather die at fifty-five while eating junk food than seek longevity through a healthier diet. He didn’t consider it to be a worthwhile option. Interestingly, the same guy had already survived one heart attack and subsequent surgery.

Double wow.

Sadly, this guy and his beliefs belong to a very large (in more ways than one) group. For many people, their problem is their thinking and the consequence is their body. While the collective mindset says that a life without high-fat, high-salt, high-suger, processed foods is somehow an inferior alternative, obesity will prevail.

And we’re meant to be the intelligent species.

As always, love to hear your thoughts and if you’re interested, you can take a peek at the movie trailer here.

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For some of us, it’s time to own up, step up and do what success requires. It’s that complex and that simple. We’ve read enough. Thought enough. Talked enough. Planned enough. Avoided enough. Hoped enough. Intended enough. Waited enough.

Now it’s time to do enough.

Or, we could wait another decade.

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An Update

Hi Guys. A quick heads-up for my Australian readers (sorry Global Family).

I’m always being asked about upcoming workshops and programs. These days, much of my time is consumed with corporate gigs, radio stuff, writing (blog and new book) and private coaching. As a result, my open-to-the-public programs have taken a back seat over the last year. With that in mind, this year, Johnny (my business partner) and I have re-committed to finding a way to run more half and full-day programs.

April Workshops

So… I’ll be running a few half-day workshops (of the ‘get your shit together’ variety) around Australia in April. Specifically, I’ll be in Melbourne on April 15, Sydney on April 22 and Brisbane on April 29. We’re yet to finalise the details (venue, times, cost, etc.) but we should have that all sorted by the end of next week. If my writing resonates with you then there’s a fair chance you’ll enjoy the face-to-face, three-dimensional experience. If you’re interested in coming along, put the date aside and I’ll let you know the details very soon.

Before you ask, yes, we’re also considering a visit to Adelaide, Perth and maybe Hobart.

To my international readers, I’d love to do the same in your country but at this stage, it ain’t gonna work commercially. Flying half way around the world to speak to ten people in a room is probably not a great career move. Having said that, all you need to do is organise a venue and a hundred of your closest friends and I’m there!

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Pushing Buttons

Well, it seems that Monday’s post pushed a few emotional buttons. Craig, the button pusher; I may just add that to my business card. So clearly, I’m not flying solo when it comes to the matter of irrational and destructive eating habits. Not only were there many interesting comments and responses to the post itself but I also received more than fifty emails from people who felt some level of connection or identification with my story.

Hello fellow foodies.

Issues Are Us

“Thanks Heaps for this today, I really needed to hear even my Guru has issues.” (Simone K)

For me, the most interesting piece of feedback was that people were either surprised or comforted by the fact that somebody ‘like me’ (not a guru, but thanks Simone) would (1) have such issues or (2) talk about them publicly. Yesterday, a well-meaning person even asked me if I thought that my ‘disclosure’ might hurt my brand, professional credibility or business. They thought it might.

Wow.

Didn’t even cross my mind. Still doesn’t.

Pracademia

I actually think the fact that much of my learning has been experiential and first-hand (as opposed to purely academic) makes what I have to say (about the topic in question) more credible, not less. But that’s just me. Surely, if there’s anything crazier than admitting you have issues it would be to claim you have none? Having a particular qualification, title, reputation or knowledge base doesn’t exclude a person from thinking dumb shit or doing dumb shit. And I should know.

So should you.

I’ve worked with dieticians who have eating disorders. Doctors with drug problems. Marriage counselors who are cheating on their spouses. Trainers who don’t train themselves. And the conversation I’ve had the most over the years (apart from the “how do I get a smaller arse” dialogue), is the “But Craig, I feel like a fake, fraud, weirdo, loser” conversation. “If only people knew what I’m really like”. Welcome to the club. That particular mindset puts you in the majority, not the minority. Ironically, the very things that we believe make us different (our weirdness, our dirty little secrets, our issues), actually make us the same. We’re all works in progress.

ALL of us.

After all, every one of us is dysfunctional on some level. In some area of our lives. It’s not optional. It’s part of the human condition. According to my soon-to-be world famous “who’s really got their shit together?” model of behavioural psychology (© Craig Harper, 2012), there are two distinct groups of people: (1) those who present themselves as without issues and (2) those who are honest.

Just saying.

Until I acknowledge my issues, I can’t deal with them. Until I acknowledge my issues, I’ll continue to experience the same problems, frustrations and road blocks. Same goes for you. The point of admitting, owning up and stepping up is not to beat ourselves up or to self-loathe but rather, to acknowledge ‘what is’ and to begin the change process in a realistic, humble and courageous manner.

You’re weird and you’re okay. Just like me.

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I don’t often write long posts these days (apparently they don’t ‘work’ in the blogosphere) but for some of you, taking five minutes out of your busy schedule to read the following might be very worthwhile…

Food and You

What kind of relationship do you have with food? Healthy? Unhealthy? On again, off again? Is she your high-calorie, high-guilt mistress? Do the two of you get together late at night? Under the cover of darkness? Away from prying eyes? Do you find yourself day-dreaming about her? Does she call out your name from behind her seductive wrapper? Is she your escape? Your medication? Your distraction?  Your drug of choice?  Is she your dirty little secret?

Over the years, she’s been all of that (and more) in my life.

Food and I have had a torrid and tempestuous affair for as long as I can remember. She wooed me with her tastes, textures and smells when I was but a child. A fat child. As a kid, I was a total foodie. I loved food. I mean l-o-v-e-d it. And not in a healthy way. I thought about it, lied about it, planned for it, bargained for it (at school) and consumed it at every opportunity.

I even hid it.

Like a squirrel storing nuts for the winter. A fat, sneaky teenage squirrel.

For a long time, food represented pleasure in my life. Instant, glorious, sensory pleasure. It was my drug of choice. My escape. Interestingly, I would later discover (as an adult) that the moment certain foods pass my lips, a roller-coaster of feel-good chemical reactions are triggered. Not unlike the experience of a drug addict.

Amazing huh?

Addicted to Pleasure

Interestingly, alcohol, drugs, food, sex (and a bunch of other things) are very similar (on a level) in that they can all produce an almost-instant feel-good chemical response. If you’re a dog lover, even lying on the floor with your canine buddy can facilitate biochemical changes throughout your entire body in a matter of seconds. Dopamine (a chemical associated with pleasure) is released in certain areas of the brain (specifically, the nucleus accumbens and the prefrontal cortex) by, not just addicts using their drug of choice, but also by the guy inhaling donuts at his desk. And the couple sharing their nightly glass of wine. Or five.

No wonder addiction is such a huge problem in our society.

In reality, the addiction is actually pleasure. It’s only the mechanism that varies.

One day, while peering out of my fat teenage body, I experienced something of a paradigm shift. A realisation. Things changed. Or, more accurately, I began to change. Because of my ever-expanding body (and the subsequent issues and challenges), I started to associate food with pain. Emotional pain. Psychological pain. Sociological pain.

And then to ease all that pain, I’d eat. Of course I did. I’d numb the emotional pain (of being a fat kid) with some momentary physical pleasure. Namely, food. In hindsight, not a great strategy. And something of a vicious cycle. But then I was never that smart around the pantry.

Okay, not smart in general.

A Glorious Distraction

And that story is the reality for many over-eaters. It’s a messy cycle of reactions, emotions and regrettable decisions. I was not (am not) unique. It’s curious that the same thing can be the source of both pleasure and pain. For the same person. And more often than not, all in the space of five minutes. Of course, we don’t always eat because we ‘need’ food. No, we eat because it makes us feel great. For a moment. For many people, food is a glorious distraction.

From the crap. The pain. The reality of a certain situation.

For years (as an adult), I ignored much of what I knew (about health and intelligent nutrition). Unbeknown to most people in my world, I was constantly alternating from healthy choices and behaviours (around food) to unhealthy ones. I constantly did what I knew I shouldn’t do. And then I would rationalise the crap out of my destructive habits. If there’s one thing I excelled at, it was rationalising bad behaviour and poor choices. I could justify anything to anyone.

Including myself.

I remember a time in the nineties (I was in my late twenties) when I had a thriving personal training business (probably the busiest in Australia), was a well-known trainer and educator and when nobody was looking, I was eating my arse off. Or, more accurately, eating it on. One day, I stepped on the scales at work and the number said 117kgs. 257lbs.

F*ck! Was my measured response.

To put that number in perspective, my weight today is 86kgs (189lbs). In that moment, I felt sick at the sight of those three numbers: 1, 1 and 7. Sick and disgusted. And ashamed. The days of living in baggy trackpants and big sweat shirts had to come to an end. The only thing that stopped people from realising how fat I actually was (the fat trainer; not a great career move), was my muscle mass and my baggy wardrobe.

Yes, my biceps were big. But sadly, my gut was bigger.

Big, Fat, Fraud

For years, I felt conflicted about food. How could one thing be the source of so many emotions and issues? I knew what to do but I didn’t do what I knew. I often felt like a fraud and a fake. And in many ways, I was. There were many times when I was all or nothing. Years, in fact. I was either eating like a competitive bodybuilder (lean and clean) or a bear about to hibernate for the winter.

A bear with food issues.

I guess I was about thirty years old when I became significantly more aware of (and proactive about) my relationship with food. I acknowledged that it was more about the emotional and less about the physical. For me. I stopped waiting for my food issue to ‘sort itself out’.

Finally.

Over time, I came to explore and understand the concept of conscious eating. Of listening to, and respecting, my body. Of delaying gratification (that was massive for me). Of owning up and stepping up. To my behaviours and my decisions. Of course there were ups and downs. Peaks and troughs. Physically and emotionally. All part of the transformation process. My unhealthy relationship with food was so long-standing that it would have been unrealistic and ignorant of me to expect a ‘quick-fix’.

And don’t we love quick-fixes.

I came to acknowledge (publically) that I had an issue with food. Not dissimilar to admitting alcoholism or drug addiction. I acknowledged that I had behaved erratically around food. For a long time. Too long. That I had destructive and unhealthy habits. That I needed to change my relationship with food.

Uniquely Wired. Or is that Uniquely Weird?

Over the years, I’ve come to understand that we all have our own unique relationship with food. Some of us have a healthy relationship, some unhealthy and some, somewhere in the middle. My experience has taught me that there is no single best strategy when it comes to the issue of food or changing our relationship with it. Clearly, different things work for different people. Which is why no single program or product has a one hundred percent success rate. The way we each feel, behave and react around food is influenced by many things: physical, emotional, psychological and sociological.

It might interest you to know that over the last twenty (plus) years I’ve worked with numerous doctors, psychologists, trainers, dieticians and professional athletes who have struggled with food issues. Their eating habits typically sat somewhere on the scale between ‘disordered eating’ and ‘eating disorder’. And while education and knowledge might influence behaviour (and outcomes), they certainly don’t determine it. People who believe that the solution to our current obesity is education (alone) clearly don’t understand the depth or the complexity of all the relevant issues.

More importantly, they don’t understand the way people behave around food.

I’m not here today to give a prescription for, or solution to, anything. My intention with this post is merely to open a conversation that might be interesting and relevant for some. To stimulate thought and to share some of my personal story. What you do or don’t do with this information is totally up to you.

Abstinence?

One of the obvious challenges for a ‘foodie’ (me) is that I can’t avoid it or remove it from my life (as is the strategy with many other addictions). Therefore, I need an eating strategy and philosophy that works for me. Practically and emotionally. For example, over the last few years, I’ve discovered that I’m better off avoiding certain things altogether (cheesecake for example), than to have the occasional piece. When I don’t eat it at all, I don’t miss it (honestly) but when I do open the cheesecake door, it’s like I flick some kind of chemical switch that’s almost impossible to shut down. As crazy as it sounds, it’s more enjoyable for me to have none, than ‘just a small piece’.

For years, people have told me that “one piece won’t kill me”. In a literal sense, they’re right. Obviously. But can you imagine telling an alcoholic to have ‘just one beer’? Of course, I don’t recommend this approach for everyone, but for me, when it comes to certain foods, abstinence works best. Over the years, I have learned to shift my attention from what I’m missing (five minutes of taste-bud nirvana) to what I’m gaining (a lean, strong, functional body).

Nothing tastes as good as being in shape feels.

Interestingly, more often than not, the person trying to force-feed me cake is an overweight, unhealthy friend who hates their body. There’s some irony for you.

Still Learning

Like you, I’m a work in progress and will always be. And to be honest, I like that. These days I never feel deprived, I rarely struggle around food and I’m (arguably) in the best shape of my life. Of course, I still enjoy my food immensely (albeit a different diet) but it’s fair to say that the nature of our relationship has changed.

No more lies, no more secrets and no more baggy trackpants.

Any of this sound familiar? As always, I’d love to hear your thoughts. 

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Hi Guys. I apologise for being a little scarce this week. I could tell you that I’ve been busy but I haven’t. Just lazy and still in holiday mode.  I’ll be back on deck Monday (Sunday night) with an article about the kind of relationship we have with food. In it, I’ll share some of the challenges I’ve had with food (my drug of choice) over the years. It’s definitely been a love-hate relationship for much of my life but thankfully, we’re now very happy together.

Free Stuff

Hey NIkki! Congrats, you’ve won yourself an Everlast pack worth $250. Good for you. If you contact Johnnie, he’ll hook you up. And to Annie Mac and Jackie Unwin, get in touch and we’ll send you some me-dot-com goodies. Easy peasy.

Have a great weekend everyone.

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“Wow, that’s a stressful situation.”

Really? Then why isn’t everyone (in that situation) stressed? If being stressed was about the situation (as opposed to some kind of individual response to that situation) then everyone would experience the same emotional response at the same time. Clearly, they don’t. Situations don’t create stress, people do. 

“That woman stresses me.”

No she doesn’t; you stress yourself. But she’s your trigger.

“He makes me angry.”

No, that’s all you. The only person who can control your emotional state is you. He only has the influence (control, impact, power) that you allow him to have.

Being Stressed

The emotional state of ‘being stressed’ (as we know it) is a self-created one. It is a reaction (to something) and you are the reactor. The moment you say “this or that makes me (insert negative emotion)” is the moment you hand over your power to a situation, a circumstance, an event or another person.

You have two choices:

(1)   Consciously control your internal environment.
(2)   Be controlled by your external environment.

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Done and Dusted

Hi Everyone. Well, seven days of the Doing Project certainly produced a range of responses, emotions, light-bulb moments, dummy-spits, realisations, sore muscles and breakthroughs. As expected.

Today, it was my intention to share my observations and thoughts on the week but as I read back over my last seven posts, I realise that task is pretty much done. So rather than repeating myself, boring you and going over old ground, I thought I would invite those of you who participated (no matter your result), to share what you learned about (1) you (2) the change process and (3) anything you feel is relevant. Also, you may (or may not) want to tell us if you’ve made any significant decisions as a result of your experience.

Here are some conversation starters (feel free to answer all, some or none):

1. What do you now know that you didn’t before?
2. If anything, what will you do differently from now?
3. What was the key lesson for you?
4. What was the toughest challenge?
5. Do you think projects like this should be (semi) regular occurrences on this site?

Free Stuff

It seems that I messed up with the prizes – we actually have one more Everlast Pack to give away. So, I’ll do that tomorrow. I’ll also throw in some me-dot-com shirts with funny crap written on the front. Because I can.

Okay, start sharing.

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The Home Straight

Well, here we are Kids. The home straight. The fourth quarter. To all of you who gave the Doing Project your best shot (no matter the result), well done. Good for you. As long as you keep showing up, you’ll eventually nail it. Remember:

“Signing up ain’t showing up.”

Plenty of people sign up (for a range of things) but it’s only the people who show up consistently and do the necessary work who give themselves a realistic chance of succeeding.

So, I’ve loved the comments, the feedback, the encouragement and the genuine concern and kindness you guys have shown for each other. Let me tell you that, in the very strange realm of cyber-space, kindness and generosity are rare commodities. Internet-based communication and conversation can be very (very) unpleasant and you guys are indeed the exception. I feel proud to be a small part of something so positive and potentially transformational. So, from me to you; thanks.

Before I outline today’s activity, I just want to remind you what this project is (was) about. Why we did it. I have a feeling that a small percentage of people may have missed the point. At times. Actually, let me start by telling you what it’s not about…

It Ain’t…

It’s not about coffee. Or tea. Or alcohol. Or any resultant headache. Neither is it about stairs, running in the buff or sore calf muscles. It’s not about the kind thing you did for that person (but well done, anyway). It’s not about silence and stillness. Neither is it about decluttering your pantry and it’s definitely not about doing that thing that you should have done long ago. Although, all the insights and conversations about the daily challenges were interesting, funny and very worthwhile.

But ultimately, this project is all about you. The whole point, the whole purpose, the whole reason… is YOU.

Your reactions. Your thinking. Your attitude. Your ability to commit. To follow through. To deal with discomfort. And inconvenience. To ask the right questions. To be the solution person not the problem person.  To persevere. To finish what you started. To do what you signed up for.

In the quest for ‘better’, your biggest asset and your biggest challenge will always be you.

Three great questions for today:

1. What do you want?
2. What’s the cost?
3. What price will you pay?

On with the show…

Challenge Seven: Step-Ups

Back to the physical today. A step-up workout is not really a sexy workout and it’s not often a fun workout but it’s definitely an effective one. From a practical perspective (time, cost, resources, skill), a step-up session is arguably the most effective arse and leg workout you’ll ever do. Today I have decided to give you some options in terms of how you execute this task. Specifically: the height of your step, how many step-ups you complete, your intensity level and the time frame for getting the job done.

Your step can be around knee height (just below your kneecap) if you’re relatively fit and conditioned. Or, if you’re more towards the beginner end of the fitness scale, you might want your step to be around half that height (half way between your ankle and your knee). Your second variable is work-load (how many step-ups you’ll complete). Here are my suggestions and remember, that’s all they are; suggestions (not a personal prescription, so exercise discretion).

1. Super-unfit: 50 each leg
2. Unfit: 75 each leg
3. Moderate fitness: 150 each leg
4. Good fitness: 200 each leg
5. Excellent fitness: 250 each leg
6. Annoyingly fit: 300 each leg.

Now, before you go crazy and rip the crap out of your unsuspecting calves, here’s four important pieces of advice (instruction):

1. Warm up a little (maybe walk) and stretch your calves before you launch into your program. Also, stretch once you’re done.
2. You can take as long as you like to complete the program. There’s no hurry! It’s not a fitness contest!! You may want to do them all in a row (not suggested unless you’re very fit). Or, you may want to stretch it out over the entire day. The structure is up to you.
3. Your ‘step’ can be anything from a literal step on a set of stairs (you may have to use the second step to get enough height), to a bench, to a low wall or anything that will be stable enough to ensure your safety through the activity.  
4. Technique: step both feet up (on top of the step) and both feet down. Repeat. Seems obvious but not to everyone!

Of course, if you have any doubts about doing this program (for medical reasons) then (1) get a clearance from your doctor or (2) give it a miss. Better to be safe than sorry.

Last Bit

Remember, this seven-day group activity is not the story but rather, the introduction. It’s now your job to start writing (and creating) your own story. If you make it so, this can be the start of something very significant. But that’s up to you. Of course, it’s great to work in groups and have support (and we’ll keep doing that on this site) but it’s not great to be totally dependant on others. In fact, it’s disempowering. Don’t use the completion of this program as an excuse to undo your good work or to grind to a halt.

Keep those wheels turning Kids.

Free Stuff

Congrats to Tracey B, you’ve won our last Everlast Pack! Good for you. And to Korryn, Chris NZ, Suu and Glitz, if you guys care to get in contact with Johnnie, he’ll hook you kids up with some me-dot-com goodies just for being involved.

*Don’t forget, you can see what people are saying about the Doing Project on Twitter at #doingproject

Next Time

I’m taking tomorrow off but I’ll be back the following day with a debrief on the project. I’ll share my observations, thoughts and insights and I’d (we’d) love to hear what you learned about… you (and other things). I’ll also talk about what we might do (off the back of this project) moving forward.

Peace.

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