No I am not going to write about profanity except to say that we live in a world where vulgarity has become all too common. In this edition I would like to examine a few “proper” “F” words related to success.

3 success “F” words misunderstood.

1. Fear. The embodiment of the description of fear is that if we think or act in a certain way bad things, maybe even unforeseen things will happen to us. Medical science and statistics have proven that 95% of what we fear is not real, or, mathematically, success could never occur. Hence the popular saying, “Fear is false evidence appearing real.” Have you ever stopped to count how many of the things you fear have actually come to pass?

This is a comforting thought and it might give you some comfort but for most people this definition doesn’t provide courage to create success. For example: while listening to a client of mine talk of his fear of some aspect of success, I was going to repeat, for the millionth time, the antiquated, ineffective approach that says, “feel the fear and do it anyway!”  However, a new thought and description came to me: “embrace fear with F.E.A.R.” In that moment, I created a new-age model of F.E.A.R.: Focused Energy Accelerates Results. When you get clear about what you want and apply the necessary, appropriate energy to your attention, you will accelerate your results.

Say farewell to unhealthy fear and the past it helped create. To be nervous in a new environment is natural, but if tension and anxiety have become part of your lifestyle and daily routine that keeps you from the success you desire, you need to say goodbye to unhealthy fear. In this context, fear is a monumental waste of time.

2) Focus – Getting and staying focused is critical to success. I have heard many people discuss focus with different ideas about: centering attention on a specific target or goal. Those are great when you are talking about getting focused at the beginning of a project. However, most people seem to have some form of attention deficit disorder. Because they don’t seem to be able to keep their attention on a specific target or goal. What I have come to recognize is that focus creates success when it means to: Follow One Course Until Successful (FOCUS). In this way it means to get AND keep following the course that will lead to success until you that success becomes your reality.

Success is not an event it is a process. Here’s what I mean. If your passion is to become a concert pianist, these images would help your limbic system focus on what you are working to create, until it has become a reality.

3) Fail. Your life, as you experience it right now, is a direct reflection of the decisions you have made and the actions you have taken to this point. That doesn’t make those decisions right, wrong, good, or bad. Your decisions have simply created a result.

I have had people tell me, “When I don’t achieve my goals, of course I have failed. How else can you explain it?” The answer is simple if you have the right perspective. I invented an acronym for the word and sentiment “fail” like this,  “Fantastic Adventure In Learning,” F.A.I.L. This perfectly describes the concept of never “failing.” When you work at anything you always create some kind of result and no matter what that result, you can choose to look at it as an adventure and learn from it. When you over shoot or fall short of your goals or things turn out unexpectedly you don’t fail in the traditional sense. You simply have a Fantastic Adventure In Learning. With this perspective you can dream, plan, work, review and adjust course to create the result your passionate about without the negative emotion generally associated with “failure.” From this moment on, you will never need to have negative feelings about performance and achievement again. You are always creating a result.

Take a moment right now and look at your current circumstances. And if you don’t like everything you see, then you simply need to change the decisions you make from this moment on. In the same way, as your past and current situation is a reflection of the decisions and actions you made in the past, the life you have in the future will be a direct reflection of the decisions you make in every moment from now on.

The trick to building your business faster and with less frustration is that there isn’t a trick! Those who learn, practice and apply correct skills in their proper sequence succeed 100% of the time. Those that rely on tricks get tricked into the next thing and the next thing until they have no-thing!

Promotion on the other hand is to help people understand the real features and benefits of your products or services. And what they really do, and don’t do. Over the years I have listened to many people talk about different products and services. Each time I hear someone promote a product or service, I am reminded about the fact that people who master promoting always seem to earn more money than those who don’t.

Product promotion begins with listening. If you ask a few questions about your customer’s life, you can quickly ascertain which features and benefits of your products would be most advantageous to them.Being able to talk about specific compelling features and benefits of a product or service and adding personal testimony to how the product has impacted your life will help others know that the product had the effect you said it would, and that it will have that same effect for your prospect.

So spend some time this week studying a product or service that has had a major impact on your life. List the reasons you are a disciple of the thing you are promoting. The better you get at promotion, the more your business will become one that produces residual income. Product promotion always ends with a call to action, question, or invitation for them to try your product.

The purpose of contacting is two fold. 1) to find out why they are dissatisfied, and 2) to set an appointment. That’s it, that’s all. Don’t make contacting into something its not. It’s not a presentation or a selling event.

Typically there are 3 kinds of people you already know who you can contact: hot, warm, and chicken.

1. Hot contacts are those who you could walk into their house without knocking. These are typically your family and closest friends.
2. Warm contacts are those who know you by your first name. That is to say you could call them and say, Hi Bob, this is Clay, and they wouldn’t wonder who Clay is. Usually these are people you work with, neighbors, or people you go to church or attend other organizational meetings with.
3. Chicken contacts are those people who you are apprehensive about sharing your business or products or services with. They might be an influential community leader, or affluent business person or a political leader, or maybe you just think they are one or more of these things. The truth is that most of the people we hold in high regard view themselves as regular and common. So don’t be afraid of them, they are most likely going to be your best customers and fastest growing associates if you will just give them a chance.

Then there is the notorious Cold contact. These are people you do not know yet. You must initiate a conversation with this group of people. You can ask them a question to get the conversation or you can wear a button, lapel pin or your attitude by itself can be conversation starters.

No matter who you are contacting, remember that your single goal in contact is to set an appointment to discuss the details of your solution to their pain.

Think of the last person you presented your business to. How much did you find out about them, before you began to present your business opportunity? Did you find out their hobbies, how they like to spend their time and money, if they like their job, home, and cars, what inspires them, and what their greater causes and higher purposes are? If you are to really relate to others, you must become good as discovering what makes them tick, what they care about and why. Relate-ability allows ourselves to be the “real deal”, and lets our personal power run wild.

When we show our human side, we become more like our prospect which will put them at ease. When people see you in the same light as themselves or having been there and done that, they are much more likely to take the action you call for at the end of your presentation. I have heard many people come out of events saying: if they can do it, I certainly can.

This statement is not a negative one. It only means that the speakers were so relate-able to the audience that everyone saw that success is possible if the correct principles are rightly applied.

The biggest communication challenge people have is listening too little and talking too much. You never learn anything when you are talking. You can’t learn what your prospects need, want and care about while you are talking. You must learn to listen, and truly hear what they are saying.

In order for you to provide solutions to your prospects problems you must first know what they are. You must build rapport with them and they must get a sense that you are interested in resolving their discomfort. If you listen carefully to your prospects, they will tell you exactly what to say, and do, to get them to take action.

For some it will be the value of your products and services they need initially. For others, it will be the opportunity of your business to create income and possibly more time.  No matter what they are dissatisfied with, your business probably has the solution for it.

Remember that your pain, is not necessarily their pain. Your prospects are not particularly interested in what the products, services and business opportunity have done for you, until they know how your products and services will alleviate their specific challenges. You may want more time and money. They may want better health and peace of mind. If you approach your prospects with the fact that your products and services gave you more of what you wanted, but exclude how the benefits will help them get what they want, they will not engage either as a customer or an associate on your team.

You have one mouth and two ears, use them in that proportion – solve their problems not yours. Asking high yielding questions to get them to talk and they will tell you what they need and how your products and services can help them to meet those needs.

Speaking to people in the way they like to communicate and using terms they know and understand gives you credibility and builds trust quickly. If you were to speak in German to a person who understood only Spanish your message would not be understood and that person would probably not do what you want. Most personality experts break the concept of personalities into four general categories – dominating or controlling, friendly and outgoing, detail oriented, and a get things done – worker bee category. Most people are some combination of the four instead of being all one or another.

Adapting your approach and language to provide details to the detail prospect, and the bottom line, to the dominate person and making the business sound fun and exciting to the fun loving person, and explaining that once the work is done it will stay done to the worker bee person will help you sell more, enroll more and keep more people in your business pursuing their greater causes and higher purposes.

Presenting as if everyone is the same, will only resonate with only one personality type, probably the personality that you are most comfortable with; yours! This of course will exclude ¾ of the people you talk to, and that will make your business growth slow and arduous.

However, appropriate language is not limited to clean or in-offensive words and phrases. Your choice of socially accepted age and gender appropriate language can make all the difference. There are simply some things you can say to your friends in a locker room that are inappropriate to use in a business meeting with serious business professionals.

Hobbyists use slang terms, and vague descriptions of products, services, the industry their company and up-line mentor. Professionals use language that indicates that they know their business, products, and value they provide to people to solve problems and improve lives.

Using appropriate language, correct terms, and respectful conversation projects professionalism and attracts people to you and your opportunity.

Dress and grooming are outward signs of competency and commitment. Anytime you talk of success and business ownership, you do not want anything about your appearance or outward habits to detract from your message. Of course proper hygiene is a must, and a very conservative amount of cologne or perfume is appropriate.

For men, a suit, or shirt, tie, and dress slacks are expected. People usually look at three things beyond the obvious expectation of dress.

1. Your pen.
2. Your shoes.
3. Your watch

 Make sure that your shirt, coat, and pants are clean and pressed. Being clean shaven, with neatly trimmed nose and ear hair will help you. Keep your hair cut as if you were going on an interview for a corporate executive job.

For women the expectation is a nice blouse and skirt or nice pants. And people usually look at these extra items:

1. Your Make-up.
2. Your shoes.
3. Your watch and other jewelry.

Be conservative in your dress, make-up and hair. Being over dressed or wearing too much make-up sends a message that this business takes a lot of extra time and money to build. You want other ladies to feel like they can easily prepare for a business presentation.

There are two very important things to remember about being dressed for success.

1. It’s not a fashion show, and
2. Everything you do, must be duplcatable.

One major caution for women, don’t wear dresses or blouses that are too revealing. This distracts men who are in the meeting, and will make many other women feel like they have to copy this look in order to build the business, and many will not want to have to do this.  

Remember, simple is better than extravagant, and that people need to believe they can do what you are doing, including how you dress and keep your appearance.

And if you don’t understand all the ways you could get paid, how could you expect anyone else to have enough confidence in you, your company, or the industry to invest their time, money and resources building a business neither of you understand? In this industry you can get paid in direct proportion to the value you bring to your prospects, customers, and associates, over and over again, potentially beyond the initial sale.

There are four basic types of compensation plans: break-away, Uni-level, Binary, and Matrix. Some reward for lots of personal recruiting, others for team building, and still others for combinations of these activities. Some reward for building width, some for depth, and yet others for a balance of depth and width. In most cases there are usually multiple ways to get paid: retail sales, wholesale customers, preferred customers, associates purchasing, bonuses based on personal volume, bonuses based on business volume, promotion level percentage payouts, and promotion level bonuses to name a few.

Additionally, you might be able to receive a portion of sales that are being made by people you recruit and people they recruit, that you don’t even know. Did you hear that? Depending on your company’s compensation structure, you could be making money from sales that occur without your having to be there to make the sale. No matter what variation of the four basic types your company uses, rest assured that there is great money to be made in this industry if you fully understand how the money flows from product purchase to associate payout.

In order to optimize the payout of your company’s compensation plan, learn, study, and spend some time creating different scenarios so that you can fully understand the full potential of your company’s compensation plan.