Step Seven:  Avoid The Fault Finding Feel Goods and
Avoid All UnNecessary, Non-Productive Negativity

Happiness comes as much from what we definitely decide we won't do as well as from all the positive actions we take to build greater happiness and spiritual success into our lives.

Avoiding The Fault Finding Feel Goods and Avoiding All UnNecessary, Non-Productive Negativity are two major steps we can take to move misery out of our lives.

The Fault Finding Feel Goods are all of those terribly tempting tendencies to judge, criticize, blame and complain. We're elevating ourselves by putting bad things or people down but we are still focusing on negatives.  That's not the way to happiness and spiritual success.

Saying what we don't want does not communicate what we do want.  Calling something bad does not describe what is good.  Complaining about something wrong does not convey what is good.

Criticism focuses on negatives and leaves people hurt and confused about what they should do to improve.

A key to happiness is to Recognize the Fault Finding Feel Goods and UnNecessary, Non-Productive Negativity when you encounter them, Rapidly Reject them and Redirect Your Time and Attention to activities and objectives that improve the situation and bring happiness and spiritual success. 

Avoiding The Fault Finding Feel Goods and Avoiding All UnNecessary, Non-Productive Negativity are powerful builders of happiness in our lives.

Step Five:  Define Happiness and a Happy Life

Without any reading or research, define and write down your definition Happiness and explain what Happiness means to you.

Then write down your definition of A Happy Life.   Keep both definitions in your Happiness file or folder.

Warning: This is very hard for most people.  Dictionary definitions, encyclopedias, Internet searches and psychology references don't provide satisfying or meaningful answers.

How can you expect to be happy or happier if you don't know what happiness is, what a happy life is or how to achieve them? Our happiness is left to chance and circumstance.

Don't worry, we'll define Happiness and a Happy Life in later sections.   What's important is for you to find definitions of a Happiness and a Happy Life that work for you.  Here's why...

Too many people chase after material Success thinking Success will bring then happiness and then they are often very disappointed. Happiness and Success are two very different things.

There are lots of very successful people who are not especially happy and who don't have happy families or work environments.   Michael Jackson comes to mind.

Achievement and accomplishment are important components of a happy life, but by themselves they do not always bring happiness.

Happiness and material Success are two very different things.   

Step Four:  Complete The Happiness Quiz

To jump start your personal happiness inquiry, take The Happiness Quiz.  This is the same quiz used in our seminars and published in the appendix of How To Live A Happy Life - 101 Ways To Be Happier.  Print a copy and keep it in your Happiness file.

Take some time to think about your answers, but don't agonize over your responses.  Your knowledge, thoughts and ideas about happiness will grow and change over time.

Your answers to earlier Steps 1-4 will help speed you through the Quiz.  Merely reference or note where your answers are and move on to the next question.

There are no right or wrong answers.  The goal is to help you identify your true feelings and beliefs about happiness for yourself right now.  Keep your answers confidential in your Happiness file.

Everyone wants to be happy or happier but most of us don't think about our own happiness very much.  The Happiness Quiz accelerates this process.

Happiness is like any other personal goal, you have to know what happiness is and how happiness works in order to decide what steps to take to be happier yourself.

Building Happiness and a Happy Life becomes just like improving any other personal, professional, sports or musical skill. Once you know what works and understand why it works so well, you practice, polish and perfect your skills until you become expert.

You embrace and enjoy it because it makes you feel good and helps you to perform your very best.

Step Three:  Study Happy People

Think about all the happy people you know or have known in your life, what are they like?  What qualities and  characteristics distinguish them from the rest of us?  How are they different?  What do they do differently?   Why do you think they are so happy?

Make a list of these especially happy people and keep it in your Happiness file or folder. Note their special skills, qualities and characteristics.

Make this an ongoing process.  Add notes as new ideas and insights come to you.

How much of their happiness do you think comes from external sources such as money, education or a prosperous professional career?

How much of their happiness do you think comes from internal skills, values and perspectives such as faith, confidence, optimism, stability, integrity, resourcefulness or flexibility?

Consider asking people you know about happiness, its sources and what they think is important to building a happy life. 

If you are uncomfortable with this process try this:

Say, "You seem to be an especially happy person, is that true? Are you generally happy?" 

If they say yes, say "Happiness is a special interest of mine.  What do you think is important to happiness and a happy life?" 

Record your thoughts and reactions to these discussions in your file.

Ask yourself, "What can I learn from this?  What skills can I add to my life to be a happier person?"

Copyright 1999-        Michele Moore. All Rights Reserved. Our materials may NOT be published, broadcast, rewritten or redistributed without written permission from the authors. Explore HappinessHabit.com for more happiness insights!

Step Two:  Set A Happiness Baseline

Start a personal Happiness file or folder to keep your writings safe and  confidential.  Choose a means to retain clippings, articles, your thoughts and ideas in a way that is good for you, whether it be a manila folder, and old envelope, a netbook or pda.

Write down and record your thoughts and ideas about the specific steps you can take to be happy or happier right now in clear, simple statements and keep them in your file. Be specific and realistic. Here are some examples:

"I will be happier if I stop getting involved in family arguments."  "I will be happier and feel better about myself if I stop binging on bad foods, exercise and eat a  healthy diet."  "I will be happier if I can shake those bad moods."  "I will be happier and feel better about myself if I loose weight."  "I will be happier if I get a better job."

Your understanding of happiness, how happiness works and your skills at building happiness will expand dramatically and be enhanced as you move through the Resolve To Be Happy™ process.  This first step provides a beginning baseline to gauge your progress.

Look at your list and determine which are external changes like exercising more, eating differently, loosing weight, avoiding bad situations or learning new skills versus internal changes within you, like adopting new habits, changing your perspectives or managing your feelings differently.

Spend some time (no more than 24-48 hours) on this alone, thinking and writing about it until you have clearly recorded and stated your thoughts, ideas, feelings, goals, insights, aspirations and desires clearly and succinctly.

Then answer the question:  What are the biggest barriers and greatest obstacles to achieving these goals?  What's holding me back?  What has defeated me in the past?  Briefly state the barriers, obstacles and lapses that have frustrated you in the past.

How much do you want to be happy or happier?  How much do you want to bring greater happiness to your work or family?  How hard are you willing to work for greater happiness?  What are you willing to give up or put off to be happier?  Record you responses, put them in your file.

If you don't think happiness is worth the effort or if you don't think you can do anything to be happier, Stop Right Now.  Don't waste your time.  You don't think there is anything you can learn to make your life better and you don't want to try.  Stay stuck where you are. 

The rest of us will move on to much happier, more fulfilling, satisfying lives.

Copyright 1999-        Michele Moore. All Rights Reserved. Our materials may NOT be published, broadcast, rewritten or redistributed without written permission from the authors. Explore HappinessHabit.com for more happiness insights!