Resurrected Girl

Band-aids, Moving and Believe

2012-02-10T09:09:00.002-06:00

I want to tell you a little bit about moving or at least my experience with it. You know that feeling right before you pull off a band aid that’s been stuck to your skin for a few days? You hesitate just for a minute because you know pulling it off quickly will hurt, but if you tug slowly it will hurt even more. For us this time it was fast with the pain coming in a flash. I still can’t make sense of it, except to know that it wasn’t up to me and I’m really okay with that.

A few months before we got the official announcement that we were going to move, the winds of change were already blowing through our house. For whatever reason I just had a sense that something was about to happen so when Grant came home in February last year from his sales meeting and told me his boss wanted us to move I was not surprised. We looked at each other and tried to make a decision about how and when to do it and instead decided to try and push it off. We weren’t ready, nor were we interested in yanking our kids from their home and their friends. And yet the feeling never left…I knew it was coming.

And then one Friday morning in April Grant came to me as I was typing away on my novel and all he had to do was look at me and I knew. It was time. Within a few weeks our house was listed, and within a day of the sign going in the yard it was sold. The band aid had been ripped off and I think honestly it took a little bit of my skin with it.

I won’t lie to you, even though I felt confident it was the right time and we were excited, we were also scared or maybe even a little terrified. At least I was.

We didn’t tell Zach and Kayla, not for a few weeks. They watched us toil around painting walls, fixing sprinklers and cleaning out closets and never asked a question. It was hard to keep it from them, until it wasn’t and we sat down one Sunday morning and told them we were going to have an adventure which included leaving the only home they remembered behind. Needless to say they were not initially excited about this adventure. But by the grace of God they followed our lead, listened to our prayers and trudged along with us into the unknown.

I’m happy to say that my worst fears have not come true. Within days of arriving we met some people who have become great friends, and they introduced us to their friends who are now our friends too. Zach and Kayla have been blessed with some great kids and have also gotten plugged into small discipleship groups with amazing Christian leaders. Grant is happy to see his co-workers at the office, and I just started tennis lessons with a new friend. Life is good and we are happy and incredibly thankful to the angels God sent who bought our house. They will forever be that to me…angels who God sent at the perfect time.

Looking back I wasn’t sure I wanted the band aid to be ripped off so quickly. I wondered if it would be better to linger, to think about it more, to just tug a little at a time so that we would have time to catch our breath, get our bearings and know for sure where we were headed. But in the midst of not knowing what to do, God did. When we weren’t sure what to say to Zach and Kayla somehow the words came. Even in my worst parenting moments there was a common thread that we were in this together. United, unified…a family, one. I love that.

I’ve spent the last seven months watching my children navigate new school systems, new teachers, new friends, and new activities. Everything is new to them. There have been tears and words of frustration. There have been victories and challenges and yet they settle into their beds every night asking me to pray over them, seeking the very same comfort that I seek. Every morning they get up go to school, heading into this world of new, this place, and this unknown. I’m proud of them. They amaze me.

I’ve watched Grant navigate new routines at work. Create the beginnings of what I know will be an oasis in our back yard and never forget to hug me and kiss me and listen when I’m feeling sad or unsure. I’ve watched him comfort our children, talk them through their fears with wonder and continue to be amazed by this man who never, ever gives up.

And I’ve watched God bring me through heartache with relationship challenges, knowing that my focus has been on getting the family settled and He’s provided me with moments of wisdom and is teaching me to not take myself so seriously. I’m learning that in so many ways this move wasn’t just about the change in geography but so much more. We are restored, united, unified…a family, one. And so much more.

I'm wondering if you've found yourself in a situation where you never expected you'd be and yet you know even though it might be scary that it's what's right and good. Exactly where you should be. I'm wondering if you find yourself right now, looking, seeking, wondering where you're headed next and perhaps are perplexed, lost even...unsure of what to do.

If that's you I'll not simplify it or waste your time with useless tips on how to get through. But I will say this to you, for me it comes down to one simple word that carries me through, especially seasons like what we've just experienced.

Believe

What carries you?

Are you safe?

2012-02-08T09:43:00.001-06:00

This is a great post from my fellow coach and mentor Jerome Daley. He is an encourager and dear friend who does an amazing job of putting things in perspective. Take a look!

Are We Safe?

"When it rains, it pours!" Everyone knows the expression...which is typically translated to mean, "The crap has hit the fan, and I'm catching the brunt of it." Sometimes it just feels like we're hit by a run of bad luck. (Oops, Christians aren't supposed to say "luck.") You know what I mean.

Over the last week, both our cars had to be taken to the shop. During the same time, we called in a repairman to take a look at our hot water heater. The deck was stacked for it to "pour," right? But guess what? It didn't.

In fact, this unlikely scenario played out in such a way that I felt uncommonly blessed and cared for by God. I was convinced that the transmission had gone out on the old car. Again. And that it would cost me two grand to replace it. Instead, it was a bad wire that cost $100. At the same time, the new(ish) car had inexplicably stalled and wouldn't restart. The good news? It stalled safely in the mall parking lot. My neighbor just happened to be home and available to take me to pick up the other car at the shop so I could pick up Kellie and the kids. The roadside service (which I had let expire) was able to be renewed and used on the spot. And it was just a defective battery which was still under warranty. $0. Oh...and the hot water heater that I feared was kaput re-lit and was perfectly fine.

OK, so it doesn't always play out this way. I know. I get it. About the same time I was juggling all these small potatoes, I learned that cancer had returned for a relative who only has six months left to live. And the question I found myself mulling is this: How safe are we in this world really?

How Safe?

As Christ-followers, we know that God is sovereign in the world. We also know that, because sin is in the world, a lot of bad things happen. And I often watch folks try to reconcile this painful paradox in one of two ways:

either they claim Psalm 91:10 that "no evil will befall you" and believe that if they do all the right stuff, they will be buffered from suffering...
or, alternatively, they claim that "it's all good." Because God is good and God's in charge, everything that happens in the world is good.

If one of these mindsets is working for you, then by all means stick with it. For me, though, it's really important to acknowledge that first, everything is not good. Just because good may come through a bad event, we need to be able to be honest about something being bad in and of itself. Death is bad. Sickness is bad. Poverty is bad. Let's not pretend otherwise.

So what about all the scriptures that appear to promise safety? For me, it's important to distinguish between a principle and a promise. The Psalms (and many other places) are full of principles that help us understand the good character of God. These are not promises that we will only experience good things--just ask King David; but they do point us to what (Who) is utterly reliable.

So back to where we started--are we safe? I say yes...and no. We are not necessarily safe from cars that break and bodies that break. If circumstances are your definition of safe, then hang it up. Circumstances are fickle. But we are safe if our definition of safety is relationship. Specifically, relationship with a good and powerful God who regularly breaks into a broken world with unexpected and undeserved kindness while we wait for a place with no tears.

Heavy topic. Real life. Peace and purpose to you this day!

Believing, Anything is Possible

2012-02-03T09:57:00.002-06:00

When I was 14 I loved reading Teen Magazine. Like any young teenage girl who grew up in the 80's I loved reading about The Bay City Rollers, Lief Garrett and Sean Cassidy. It was a girl obsession of mine to try and figure out how to apply blue eye shadow and red lipstick and I could count on Teen Magazine to instruct me.

One afternoon I discovered a contest called Win A Week In Beauty Paradise. All I had to do was send in a photo and write in 25 words or less why I should win the trip to Rancho La Puerta Mexico and stay in a spa for an entire week of pampering and fun. It wasn't hard to make up my mind and so I sat for awhile trying to pen all the reasons why I should win. I can't remember exactly what I wrote but I think it was something about how exciting it would be to meet new people and to have a fun adventure. I had no misgivings about any chances I had at being a super model. I stand about 5'4 and photo shop is definitely my friend. But it was exciting to believe that maybe, anything was possible. Without telling a soul I sent off my letter with my 8th grade photo, heavy on the blue eye shadow, my hair in a bouffy bob and complete with red Izod polo shirt. And forgot about it for the next six months until the afternoon I came home from school and my mom handed me a turquoise envelope addressed to me. The return address said Teen Magazine.

Yep, you guessed it. I won. I ran around the house whooping it up for about fifteen minutes while my mom stood with her arms crossed and her toe tapping. She didn't believe it, thought it was a scam and proceeded to ignore the flurry of phone calls that came from the magazine editor who tried to convince her it was for real. She did come around pretty quickly, and I think it helped that she got to come along, but I understand her hesitation, especially in this day and age. A few weeks later me and my mom and two other girls with their parents traveled to Tecate, Mexico where we enjoyed a very fun time at the spa and got to have our picture placed in the magazine. For any 8th grade girl it was a dream come true. Heck, it still makes me smile almost 30 years later.

I still believe anything is possible and sometimes that's what gets me through the day. Believing...it's a simple thing and yet oh so powerful.

What are you believing for today?

Making room for you

2012-01-26T09:58:00.004-06:00

I've been a stay at home mom for a lot of years, almost 15 to be exact if you count the time I was on bed rest before my son was born. I've lost track of the number of diapers I changed, loads of laundry completed, lunches packed and how many hours of carpool I've logged. Now that my son and my daughter are in the 8th grade I can see that they don't need me in quite the same way. The baby cry signaling hunger has changed to the teenage cry of, "Mom I don't have any clean underwear," or "Mom I need five bucks for lunch."

Sigh...it's been hard to realize it but it's true, my babies are growing up. Next year they will be in high school and I'll wave to them from the line of cars on the first day and wonder if I'll be able to compete with new friends and activities. The truth is, I know they will always be my sweet babies, even though they both tower over me in height. I'll still think of them as infants, or toddlers, or little kids. Isn't that impossible not to do? Even though my son reminds me almost every day that he's (imagine tired, annoyed voice that only a teenager can deliver) "Got it covered."

So I step back, give them enough room to let their wings open and watch in wonder as they dive into whatever new situation it is that's been presented and I laugh and clap when they experience victory and I cry and scowl when they don't. That's the nature of being a Mom, our children are our heartbeats.

But, not to the exclusion of entertaining what our own dreams and desires are. As we begin to let go, and even when we have diaper cloaked toddlers and infants, it is possible to engage our own dreams and visions. It is possible to carve out time for ourselves and enjoy a little bit of adult time, girl time, friend time or whatever you want to call it. In fact it's imperative for our own balance and well being as a Mom. When we are empty from giving and giving it's easy to feel like we can't do one more thing. But the truth is, it's in that moment that it's often best to entertain our own hearts desire, to read, to watch tv, to have time with a friend. It's these simple interactions that help us as Mom's recharge so that we can get back to doing for our kids.

I hear from my friends all the time that there is a definite struggle to find fulfillment outside of our Mom role. It's a question we all ask ourselves, "How do I know what to do?" or "What is fulfilling to me, since I've spent so much time in this role I have no idea who I am or what I want to do?" As I watch Zach and Kayla spread their wings and embrace their independence I wonder too.
We may not know right away, but as I say to my kids and they often repeat back to me, "What's holding you back? You've got nothing to lose."

Why not make room for yourself this year? Why not take that art class, tennis class, read a good book, start a Bible Study, or a playgroup? Why not start singing, dancing, acting, writing...?"
Why not? You've got nothing to lose.

www.resurrectedgirl.com

Mood Disorders Can Kill a Marriage

2011-12-07T09:18:00.002-06:00

My good friend Diane Markins invited me to join her recently on her blog talk radio show. We had the opportunity to talk about my book Waking Up in the Middle of Nowhere and she graciously asked me to guest post on her blog. It was a timely appearance since the holidays are truly one of the most difficult times of the year for anyone struggling with mental illness.

If you have a chance to listen please go to this link: Women in High Def
She is airing the broadcast today and will later have a link for Itunes downloads which I think is simply amazing. Thanks Diane for sharing our story of hope and healing.

If you haven't had the opportunity to read our book you might be interested to know that it is now available on Kindle. Amazon continues to be the best source for purchase, here's the link: Amazon.com

Unless you'd like a signed copy from me. For that just shoot me an email at: ally@resurrectedgirl.com I'd love to hear from any of you who have read our story, shared it with a friend or if you simply need prayer and encouragement. My heart is always to build, support and lift each other up, so if you need lifting just ask.

Remembering Grammie

2011-11-23T20:16:00.002-06:00

Every year I can't help but remember my sweet Grammie. I make her stuffing and her turkey but what I remember most is the very last Thanksgiving we had with her. Here's the story, I hope it blesses you and that you have a wonderful Thanksgiving.

Grace on a Thursday

When we feel unlovely we want to hide because we can’t imagine anyone could love us in those moments. Let’s face it - we all have those moments, and that’s usually when God speaks the loudest.

My Grammie was one of the loveliest women I have ever known, but one Thanksgiving she didn’t think so. Our tradition was to dress up in our Sunday best, dine at two and go to the movies. We all knew with Grammie being sick there would be no movie this year. Released from the hospital two days earlier, we were just happy she could be with us for the holiday. But now another storm was brewing.

“Mom!” My sister ran into the kitchen. “Grammie says she’s not coming to dinner. She says she doesn’t have anything to wear, her hair isn’t done and she is not about to come to dinner in her pajamas and robe.” Laura’s green eyes pleaded with Mom. “What are we going to do? We can’t leave her in her room all alone…not on Thanksgiving.” Nervous knots formed in my belly as I wondered what would happen.

A few days earlier I had taken a trip to the hospital. My mind hadn’t comprehended the seriousness of Grammie’s condition until I stood in the doorway of her room and was struck by her frailty. I paused for a moment taking in the image of my sweet Grammie lying in that hospital bed looking like a small child. Without the benefit of going to the salon, her normally jet black hair had turned gray. Her milky white complexion had grown sallow and pale. Broken blood vessels from her IV etched the skin of her once smooth hand.

The contrast to her usual self was startling. Throughout my childhood, Grammie had come over for dinner on a Thursday after her weekly hair and nail appointment. Smelling of Estee Lauder perfume, she would sink into the sofa and beckon to me with her beautiful hands. I loved sitting next to her, and my heart would sing at the invitation to be near her. I breathed her in while listening to her soft, gentle voice tell me about the events of her day, and then she would ask me about mine. Her hands stroked my back or played with my hair. She made me feel safe and loved. But in the past few years the allure of college and my social life had kept me from spending Thursdays with her. And now she was in the hospital.

I moved closer to her hospital bed and picked up her IV pierced hand. She smiled at me and asked me about my day. It felt just like our old Thursday afternoons, only we were conversing over the starched white sheets of her hospital bed, with the scent of antiseptic lingering in the air. She couldn’t reach out and stroke my back anymore, but I could curl up beside her and stroke her hair and smell her sweet perfume. Even in the hospital she still smelled like flowers. I cradled her hand in mine while her words curled around my heart. She loved me unconditionally and in that moment I saw Jesus. Like Christ, she gave to me even though I hadn’t made her a priority over the past few years.

The hospital released her for Thanksgiving and as the scent of roasting turkey and pumpkin pie filled the air, my sister and I watched our mother, wondering what to do. Mom told us not to worry while she placed an apple pie into the oven. I could see her shoulders quietly shake as she tried to hide her emotion from us.

“Mom, what if I fix her hair and put a little makeup on her,” Laura said. “I think that might help her feel better.”

“Yes, I think that’s a great idea, but let’s do more than that.” She stirred the gravy and then a smile broke through the clouds that had covered her face. “I know…let’s wear our bathrobes to the table. We can surprise her!” Pausing for a moment to let the idea sink in she continued, “We can wear our normal clothes underneath and each of us can come to the table in our robes. That way she will know that she fits right in. What do you think?” Her face shone with excitement, and I knew we had our answer.

Laura nodded her head in agreement. “I’ll go tell her that we aren’t taking no for an answer and insist that she let me fix her hair. Even though we all think she’s beautiful without being fixed up, knowing Grammie there isn’t going to be any other way to convince her.”

We thought we would surprise her so we didn’t tell Grammie of our plan. After a “We’re not taking no for an answer” conversation with my mother, Grammie finally let my sister Laura fix her hair and apply a little color to her cheeks.

I will never forget how excited I felt when I stood next to my chair at the dining room table. I looked around the table at my family. We were attired in our Sunday best, our bathrobes draped over our shoulders. My little brother even had on his slippers and was grinning from ear to ear. We barely contained ourselves with the excitement of our secret and hoped that Grammie would feel a part of our family as she had on so many other Thursday afternoons.

Dad wheeled her into the dining room, her normally robust frame wilting in the wheelchair. We stood quietly at the table until she looked up. When she did, we shouted “Surprise!” Her face went from pale gray to a soft blush, and a giant smile engulfed her face. She giggled my favorite giggle and for a moment she was my joyful, adoring Grammie again.

Tears of relief rolled down my cheeks, she was with us again, and we were all overjoyed. Conversation bubbled across the table as we shared our Thanksgiving meal. I believe we were all thankful that our family was complete. It would not have been the same without our Grammie.

Grammie died two days later. For her funeral we dressed once again in our Sunday best. I wished we could have worn our robes again. It seemed appropriate that in one of her final moments here on earth Grammie was more beautiful to me than ever, without the earthly adornments of hair color and makeup. Grace is God’s way of pouring out His love upon us regardless of our clothing, whether we feel lovely or not. To Him we are always lovely, a fragrant aroma and a blessing. He accepts us, offers us grace when we don’t deserve it and puts on our humanity out of love, every single day of the week.

This One is for the Girls

2011-10-25T11:26:00.002-05:00

Imagine you are sitting across the table from Jesus enjoying a nice meal or a warm cup of coffee. As with any friend the conversation flows between the two of you. You take turns sharing ideas, thoughts and dreams or perhaps you just make small talk appreciating the intimacy in your exchange. And then He looks at you with a small smile on his lips and says, “Dear one, do you know what you believe about me? Do you know how I have worked in your life?”

The question dives deep into your soul piercing you heart as your doubts, fears and worries come quickly to the surface. Struggling for composure you nervously smile back and you have no idea how to respond.

We are born into a broken world, a world that thwarts our every attempt to understand who we are, why God created us and who He really is. Our questions go unanswered and we linger in a realm of unconscious abandonment allowing the worlds definitions of who we think we ought to be and who we think God is to define us. No wonder we are struggling. John Eldredge calls this ache in our soul, our heart’s question.

Here’s an excerpt from his book Captivating:
And down in the depths of our hearts, our Question remains. Unanswered. Or better, it remains answered in the way it was answered so badly in our youth. “Am I lovely? Do you see me? Do you want to see? Are you captivated by what you find in me?” We live haunted by that Question, yet unaware that it still needs an answer. When we were young, we knew nothing about Eve and what she did and how it affected us all. We do not first bring our heart’s Question to God and too often, before we can, we are given answers in a very painful way. We are wounded into believing certain things about ourselves. And so every woman comes into the world set up for a terrible heartbreak. (Captivating, 58-59)

What we believe about God and about ourselves is colored by our life experiences. You might be thinking that your life experience hasn’t been so great; in fact maybe it’s been pretty difficult. My heart goes out to you and I pray you will be able to lay down those things that have been impediments to you so that you will be able to see the good that has come out of those challenges. Each of us has been on the receiving end of God’s equipping and our purpose here is to look at every aspect of our view of God in order to get our questions answered. Our goal is to establish a strong foundation for ourselves that is based on the word of God, not on the things of this world.

** I've been reviewing some of my old writings in an attempt to figure out what my future looks like. Funny that sometimes looking back can give us clarity on the future. In the midst of changing cities and homes I find myself wondering how to get the physical things settled, but it's the larger vision and purpose for my life that seems to be weighing on me the most. This segment of writing has reminded me to look at my view of God within the framework of where I am today, to examine the foundation of my life and yes continue seeking the answer to my question, from God. The future may not be clear today, but I know based on experience that eventually I'll see where I'm headed. I just have to be patient, it will come.

The risk of change

2011-10-21T08:41:00.005-05:00

"And the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom." --Anais Nin

A dear friend read me this quote recently and to be quite honest, it moved me to tears. Not only did the timing of this message pierce me deep in my heart, but I was touched by my friend's ability to see into me and know that this is exactly where I am right now. To remain tight in a bud is more painful than taking the risk to blossom.

We moved at the beginning of June, after living in San Antonio for thirteen years. We sold our house in one day, packed everything up within a month of the sale and arrived here in Dallas. Even though we had known for awhile the possibility of a move was very real, when it came time to actually do it, well, each one of us had our own burdens and grief to bear. I pulled in, focused on the moment by moment emotion and chaos that comes with a move and was overwhelmed by my maternal instincts to do whatever I possibly could to make this transition for my children to be as smooth as possible. I would be lying if I told you that it was easy, surely it hasn't been, and yet we as a family are closer than we have ever been. That could be because we lived in an apartment for a month, and for several weeks we were anonymous to anyone and everyone we saw, but really the truth is I think we all pulled in and took care of each other. In the midst of the chaos and the change we found a new rhythm, and a deeper faith in our God.

It's been four months. Sometimes it feels like four years. I only just now find myself able to see a little more clearly, feel a little more relaxed and am met with a new understanding that this is by God's design. He has thrown open the doors, ushering us into a new season ripe with possibilities. That's exciting and at the same time scary. Some days I want to stay pulled in and some days I want to jump right in and see what will happen next.

But I think mostly I want to trust God to help me breathe, to help me see that in time in this new place each member of my family will have deeper roots, will have connection and will in turn blossom. It's risky but oh so worth it.

We've gone Kindle

2011-10-12T15:02:00.001-05:00

Hi Everyone!

Yes I know it's been a long time and there is much to catch you up on, like the fact that we moved to Dallas, but first I have a wonderful announcement...we've gone Kindle!

Our book Waking Up in the Middle of Nowhere has gone live this week on Amazon.com and is now available in the Kindle format. We are excited and hope that this will continue to broaden the reach of our story to those who are in need. Here's the link:

http://www.amazon.com/Waking-Up-Middle-Nowhere-ebook/dp/B005TUORD2/ref=tmm_kin_title_0?ie=UTF8&m=AG56TWVU5XWC2&qid=1294875937&sr=8-1

I promise I'll start blogging again soon, there is a lot to talk about, but until then, happy reading!

God Answers Prayer for My Girl

2011-02-20T11:07:00.002-06:00

Two years in a row my daughter Kayla has seen two of her very best friends move away from San Antonio. This has been a heart break for her and for me. I've watched her pull away, spend afternoons alone, wonder out loud if being close to people is a good idea because it hurts so much when they leave, and dream of spending time with her special friends again. She and I have had many conversations about how much better it is to have special people in our lives, and love them whether they are going to move away or not. It's been hard but it's a part of life.

Over the last few months I've tried to coach her through her loss and encouraged her to reach out. She has started inviting friends over again and says that she is feeling better. She understands that her special friends while living far away, can still have a special place in her heart. And it's not like they don't talk, they Skype and text and email all the time. But we all know that having someone to spend an afternoon with in person is hard to replace by electronics.

For Christmas we bought Kayla an airplane ticket to fly to see her favorite friend Libby who moved to St. Louis. Now, you might be thinking that Kayla is awfully young to travel by herself half way across the country. And to be honest I was really surprised when my 12 and a half year old, who is generally quiet and reserved begged us for an airplane ticket. That was all she wanted. And on Christmas morning when she opened her gift and tears of joy poured down her cheeks Grant and I knew that God had this covered. We were thrilled for her.

When it came time to hop on the plane this past Thursday she was so excited she could hardly sit still. She and Libby had talked, texted, emailed and Skyped for weeks only building the anticipation of their visit. Kayla grinned from ear to ear until it was time to line up for her seat assignment. Thankfully Southwest gives us Moms a pass to go through security so I was standing there with her when she started to break down. She kept saying, "Mom I'm so excited but I'm scared." In the midst of my trying to calm her, I hugged her and prayed over her quickly. Just as I am thinking that I'm going to start crying this lovely woman who is standing behind us steps forward, leans into Kayla and says, "Would you like a stand in Mom?" To which Kayla promptly bursts into tears. I introduce myself to this blonde, petite and very well dressed woman and she smiles kindly, probably sensing my impending melt down. Susan assures me that she has a daughter Kayla's age who attends the Christian School in Kansas City and then starts talking to Kayla as if they were long lost friends. Can you spell Relief??

The best part about this story is that Kayla and I on our way to the airport prayed that God would lift up someone kind and caring for her to sit next to on the airplane. When Susan stepped forward it was a clear sign that God heard our request. But it gets even better. It turns out that our Susan is Susan Crook, an award winning author and speaker. Her website is: www.susancrook.com. She took Kayla under her wing, gave Kayla her phone number and when Kayla became airsick on the plane, she rubbed her back, told her she handled it well and even threw away the vomit filled bag. What an angel!

For Kayla who called me once she landed this was God's way of showing up. She said, "Mom as soon as Susan stepped up I started crying because I knew God had heard my prayer. He remembered me."

Ahhh, such music to my ears. He did remember her, covered her and provided for her in a very obvious way. We are thankful and so blessed by our new friend Susan who it turns out had prayed that very morning for the person that God would have her sit by. I'm thankful that it got to be Kayla.

February...A Good Month for Socks

2011-02-09T09:33:00.002-06:00

Ahh, sweet February. I love this month. Not only because it’s short and has a lover’s holiday right in the middle but also because it signals to me the very essence of winter. Images of snow covered plains, frozen ponds and freezing temperatures float through my brain as I imagine what it would be like if I didn’t live in South Texas where it’s sixty degrees in the middle of February. Before we moved to Texas we spent a few years in Salt Lake City where the snow fell with force and I routinely had to dig my car out.

In South Texas flip flops can be worn year round but when the temperatures fall, watch out, the winter girl in me takes over and I wear socks. I decided a few years ago that if it wasn’t going to snow, or even freeze once in awhile I was going to treat myself to some fancy socks to remind me of what winter is usually like. What I found was a great way to give a gift to myself and I didn’t even realize it.

I have my own personal sock store. I know the complete inventory and rely on my own stocking system to figure out which socks will warm my feet every day. In fact my sock drawer is overflowing…with socks of all different colors, textures and fabrics.

I can’t help it, I’m a winter girl and even though you might be shaking you head wondering if I’m a little bit crazy, I know that my enthusiasm for socks is one of the little ways I can treat myself on a cold winters day. A little pick me up, if you will. Socks do for me in the dead of winter what sunscreen and a swimming pool do in the summer. They make me smile and make me feel like I’ve done something nice for myself. Definitely important ingredients for a quick little pick me up.

Sock wearing might seem simple but I’m curious…do you know what gives you that little extra hit of excitement or motivation when the whether outside has gotten you down? Or maybe when it’s been a long day at work and you are utterly exhausted? What do you do for yourself when you need a little zest? If it feels like you are running on empty and tired of the gray skies and frigid temperatures, it might be time to find a way to invest a little zest into your day. Consider asking yourself the following:

How can I pamper myself today?

What sounds like fun?

If I had five extra minutes what would I do?

For more information on how to give yourself a little zest visit my website: www.resurrectedgirl.com and contact me for your free 30 minute consultation.

Getting through the holidays with balance.

2010-12-09T14:55:00.002-06:00

Author Julie Fast shares a little bit of how she navigates the holiday season while managing her bipolar at the same time. Thanks Julie!

Why are the holidays so hard for people with bipolar disorder? I know they are for me! I write books on bipolar disorder and you would think that after 15 years of work on managing this illness that the holidays would be a bit easier! But they are not. I may change and become more successful in how I live with this illness, but the holidays stay the same! Every year at this time I send out newsletters and write many blogs on how to prepare for the end of the year. I stress that you have to watch your relationships carefully and make sure they are stress free. (Many people laugh at this one!) I teach readers that travel time changes can really affect bipolar disorder symptoms and just the stress of an airport can create anxiety.
But there is one real reason I have such a hard time with the holidays. I get lonely. Really lonely. I’m surrounded by people and yet I’m lonely. Being single doesn’t help, but it’s a choice. I don’t like to shop and yet the television tells me I should receive really cool presents from everyone. I have a beautiful eight year old nephew whom I love, but the family dynamics with my brother and his partner are just too much for me. My mom is not really into celebrating and my friends often leave town. What a little whiny baby I am! But that is how it is for many of us with bipolar. No matter what we have and who loves us, the holidays make us expect so much more!
This year I made sure it was different. I’m getting on a plane to go visit my dad for two weeks. It’s cheery. He’s a happy person and I know this will be my best holiday in a long time! Loneliness can happen no matter how many people are in your life. My goal is to do everything possible to make sure I’m with people I love and who help me stay stable.

Julie A. Fast is the author of Loving Someone with Bipolar Disorder, Take Charge of Bipolar Disorder and Get it Done When You’re Depressed. She was diagnosed with ultra rapid cycling bipolar II in 1995 and struggles daily with the illness, but has taught herself to keep going! You can read more about her work at www.bipolarhappens.com/bhblog -Julie A. Fast

CWG San Antonio

2010-12-06T11:51:00.000-06:00

CWG San Antonio

Loving Someone with Bipolar Disorder: Spiritual Life in God

2010-09-15T12:19:00.000-05:00

Loving Someone with Bipolar Disorder: Spiritual Life in God

Interview with Author Allison Pittman: For Time and Eternity

2010-09-01T08:29:00.006-05:00

With permission from my friend Roxanne Sherwood of the Ponderers Blog, I'm posting her interview with Author Allison Pittman. Allison's next book releases tomorrow. It's called For Time and Eternity and is in a word, Superb! I could not put it down. Check out what Allison has to say about this thought provoking book.

And don't let the chance to win an autographed copy pass you by, once you've read the interview, scroll down to the bottom and follow my directions to get your name in the hat. The drawing will be this Friday.

Monday, August 16, 2010
Welcome Multi-published Author Allison Pittman

Hi, I'm Roxanne Sherwood and I've invited Allison Pittman to visit today. Allison has published six novels and one nonfiction book, Saturdays with Stella: How My Dog Taught Me to Sit, Stay, and Come When God Calls. Her first novel, Ten Thousand Charms, was nominated for two RITAs, and another, Stealing Home, is a finalist in ACFW's Carol Award. A former English teacher, Pittman lives in Texas with her husband and three sons.

Your latest book, For Time and Eternity, will be released September 1st. What inspired the story?

~~I actually had no intentions of pursuing this topic in fiction, but then one day I got an email from the lovely people at Tyndale. They were interested in finding a writer to venture into the Mormon’s story, and I immediately just got chills. You see, I was raised in Utah, and my husband is an ex-communicated Mormon, so I was instantly intrigued. Within minutes, the character of Nathan Fox was fully formed in my head, and I couldn’t reply fast enough. My first instinct was to portray the early Latter-Day Saints as a people desperately seeking God. It’s never been my intention to “take on” the Mormon church, or even to vilify the practice of polygamy. As with all my books, I want to tell a good story. I simply wanted to portray a loving couple torn apart by the church and its early doctrine of plural marriage.

I loved For Time and Eternity and I'm excited that Camilla and Nathan's story continues in Forsaking All Others.

~~Me, too! The story arc for Camilla—to restore her faith and her family—was simply too immense to tell in one book.

What do you have planned for the Sister Wife Series?

~~The second book will, of course, continue Camilla’s story. Beyond that, I know I want to tell Rachel’s story. She is Nathan Fox’s twin sister, and I’ll probably bring the reader back to their childhood, living as orphans in St. Louis, Missouri. I’d also like to explore the experiences of the European immigrants who came to this country specifically as members of the church.

How did you conduct your research for For Time and Eternity?

~~I actually did quite a bit of reading of The Book of Mormon and The Doctrine and the Covenants—the LDS sacred texts. I also indulged myself in a 4-day solo trip to Salt Lake City’s Temple Square, where I strolled through museum after museum, taking in all the tid-bits of the pioneers’ every-day lives. That was such an indulgence, really. I left with my notebook full of scribbles, and my heart heavy for the globalization of their false doctrine. It makes me sad that, by and large, Christians don’t seem to be able to be motivated to the level of dedication that the Mormons have achieved.

Your rich, well-developed characters compel your readers to keep turning pages to find out what happens next. Do you develop characters or plot first?

~~Characters first. Always. In For Time and Eternity, I knew my “husband” would be a good, sincere, loving man who desperately wants to please God. As an orphan, he grew up feeling like he had no value, and the teaching of Joseph Smith would give him that validation. That foundation fuels the plot; truthfully, “Nathans” exist today. But, I think it’s a million times more interesting to have a character who could live in any time period than a story that could be lived by any character.

How long did you write before you sold your first book, Ten Thousand Charms, which was published in 2006 and nominated for two RITA's?

~~Well, that totally depends on your definition of “write.” Charms was my first attempt at writing a novel (no drawer full of unfinished manuscripts for me!). I worked on it on and off for about three years—sadly, much of it was written after I had an editor interested in buying it. I’m not a very driven person, so God really had to pave an easy road for me. One or two rejections, and I would have been done!

You've got a husband, three sons at home, a part-time teaching job at a university, a critique service, and various ministries within your church. How do you do it all?

~~I always have one element dormant at all times. And, yes, sometimes the element that gets shoved to the side is the family. Some would say that’s terrible, but it’s necessary. My boys have learned that any request made during deadline time will be immediately deferred to Dad. Hubby just knows not to make requests! I only teach during the fall, I’ve learned to be strong and smart about my church work, and I give myself a good (one or two week) break after each deadline.

What advice do you have for aspiring novelists? Or what do you wish you'd known before you sold?

~~Be ready to be both overwhelmed and underwhelmed. The work to promote this book will probably be just as consuming as effort it took to write it. You’re going to invest a fortune in postage and slather your blog and facebook and website with your up-coming book signing, and the same eleven people who would have bought copies from the box in your van in the church parking lot are going to show up. If you put your heart in the hands of the publishing world and the readers, it’s going to get broken. You’ll have a fantastic idea rejected, you’ll get a lousy review, your royalty statement might just as well be a series of frowny-faced emoticons. But, trust your heart to the Lord who has called you to this work, thank Him for the gift that allows you to pursue it, and pour your love into the characters on your page and, to paraphrase: “Oh, bad review, where is thy victory? Oh sales, where is thy sting?”

I'm going to paste those last words above my computer. Thanks for your wisdom, Allison. It was great to have you visit.

If you want to enter the giveaway here's what you do...

You have the chance to get your name in the hat 2 times! You may do this on Facebook or on Blog.

1-comment on this blog post.
2-post a link from your blog or Facebook page back here (comment a 2nd time to let me know this is done).

Don't let this giveaway pass you by!

A winner will be drawn on FRIDAY & receive a PERSONALLY AUTOGRAPHED copy of For Time & Eternity, by Allison Pittman.

'Announcement: Waking Up in the Middle of Nowhere'

2010-08-27T13:59:00.000-05:00

'Announcement: Waking Up in the Middle of Nowhere'

An 8 year old Author

2010-08-10T22:22:00.002-05:00

Hi Friends,

I'm traveling and yes I know it's been far too long since I've posted regularly. I promise that will change once we get home from our travels and my kids are back in school. This week I'm in Yakima, WA visiting with my family, it's been great!

I wanted to let you know that I had the opportunity to meet with an 8 year old aspiring author named Anna Komstadius. She is one of the smartest, cutest most determined little girls I've ever met. She asked me some amazing questions and has decided that by the age of 10 she wants to have published her first book. I'd love to see that happen and am hoping that God will open the doors that need to be opened for her to realize her dream. She's well on her way.

We decided yesterday after our meeting that while she is finishing her manuscript that one of the best ways to get a reading audience would be for her to create her own blog. Would you believe that she went home and with her Mom's help, she has already set it up? It's hard to imagine someone with such drive and spunk...but here she is. If you would just take a minute and post a comment or two on her blog I know she would be so excited and feel like her hard work is beginning to pay off. Here's the link for her blog: www.annastreasures.blogspot.com

Way to go Anna, I'm proud of you!

It's finally Here!

2010-07-13T15:07:00.002-05:00

Hi Everyone,

Just wanted to let you know that my book is officially out! It's on Amazon and will also be available through other bookstores very soon. In case you want to find it just type in: Waking Up in the Middle of Nowhere into the search bar on Amazon and it will come right up.

If you order it, please tell me as I'm going to be dying to hear your thoughts, comments and maybe ask you to post a review on the Amazon page.

Thanks for your prayers and support, it's going to be an exciting time!
Blessings to you all!

Opening up Space

2010-04-15T10:35:00.004-05:00

I read something this morning that pretty much sums up the way I've been feeling. There is no accident in the timing of this little message. Here's what it said,

"The world is utterly draining, and when we are drained, we are vulnerable. When we are drained, we are also vulnerable to spiritual attack, and that is why I need to remind myself to do whatever it is that makes me strong in Christ."

Thank you John Eldredge for these pearls of wisdom that today remind me that being drained is not how I want to be, and not where I want to linger. As a om, wife, friend, sister, coach...I want to be strong in Christ, able to share the gospel and to acknowledge the beauty of the Kingdom of God who calls me to honor and serve Him.

I love being a part of something larger than myself, love being a contributor to the world around me but when I feel like the world is sucking me dry it inhibits me from being me...and that makes me tired. Can you relate?

Right now I'm preparing for my book to release, writing a new book, coaching a new client, and navigating all my motherly, wifely, friendly, sisterly duties. All of these things are tremendous blessings and gifts that I treasure and would never trade or compromise. But I have to admit that sometimes my head is full, Really Full, and if I'm not careful I can easily tip into feeling overwhelmed. What I'm realizing is that in order to be with all of these things effectively, it's imperative for me to make space for those things that fill me up so that I can turn and pour them out to my writing, my clients, my family...you get the idea.

So, I'm asking you today. What is it that's sucking you dry, draining you, making you feel vulnerable and frantic? What is it you feel like you want to let go of? Is it a relationship, a job change, perhaps a habit that is eating you up?
What would be a first step towards opening up some space for yourself? What is one small thing you can do today that will make you feel a little lighter, and a little freer?

Do you have an idea? Tell me what you do to give yourself what I call "Mental Space" and how
God meets you there...

Living Peaceful with Bi-Polar Disorder

2010-03-19T11:17:00.000-05:00

Living Peaceful with Bi-Polar Disorder

Taking a big step of faith

2010-02-24T20:08:00.002-06:00

It's been awhile, hasn't it. The last time I posted I was just coming off of a trip to WA for the holidays and tonight I realized that it's been almost exactly one month since my last post.
A lot has been going on but tonight I'm going to focus on one thing in particular...tomorrow.

You know that I've written a book about our journey with Grant's bi-polar and how it has impacted our marriage and our daily lives. Tomorrow I get to be the guest on www.webtv4women.com and will be talking at length about our book and how God intervened during this season of our lives. It's tough stuff to be sure, but at the same time I'm just amazed at how we have gotten to this place. Surely it would never have happened if God had not carried us.

I'm humbled to have been brought to a place of renewed balance and happiness in my daily life and in my relationship with Grant. There was indeed a time that I never could have imagined that we would ever get here again, and to be honest, we are happier than we've ever been. Because of our journey...we are stronger, more honest and more balanced than ever. It's not been easy but we've managed somehow to stay committed, to stay open and to trust that God's got a plan and a purpose for our struggles.

Tomorrow I'm going to take the first step in promoting our book and hope that God will touch the hearts of those who hear, and protect us from those who would decide it's better to judge in their misunderstanding and confusion. I'm certain that there will be many who think it would be better for us to just keep quiet, to remain an enigma in the midst of many who are suffering, but that is not our heart, and certainly not our motive.

I'm also certain that God will prevail and that the truth of this statement whispered to me by a very dear friend will come to fruition not just for me but for many who are walking a similar path, "It is for this specific challenge that you have been equipped." Do you hear that? That's the truth shattering the voice of doubt, the voice of uncertainty and the voice that tells each and every one of us to keep quiet believing that our story isn't important and has no value or purpose. There is nothing that is impossible with God on our side. My marriage and my husbands renewed life is a perfect example of this very truth.

Regardless of whether you have a spouse with bi-polar, a drug addiction or perhaps have discoverd infidelity...you my friend have a purpose, a plan and a specific destiny that is unique to you. In spite of the fact that you might feel ill equipped to embrace it today, don't make the mistake of ignoring the prompting in your heart. Life is too short to over look the meaning and the idea that you could indeed, leave a legacy that is valuable and insightful for the generations that follow.
Our hope as we share our story is that hearts would be stirred, hopes would be rediscovered, and lives and marriages would be saved. We know it's challenging and that sometimes it feels like it would be so much easier to have given up...but I can tell you without a shadow of a doubt, where we are today is far worth the battle scars that we carry with us into our present.

If you want to listen in log in tomorrow at 12pm Central time to www.webtv4women.com. I look forward to it.
Blessings to you all!

Be Who You Already Are

2010-01-22T08:20:00.002-06:00

On a really good day it’s easy to focus on the things I like about myself, it’s easy to feel like God really knew what he was doing when he created me. Especially when it’s a good hair day, no one has thrown up on me and my outfit is cute. Those are the kinds of days that I want to say to the world, “Somebody take my picture cuz I’m looking good.”

But we all know those days can be few and far between, especially given the season of life that motherhood brings. Most of the time it’s much easier to focus on the dislikes and the things we are ashamed of, in fact I’ve been known to have my own private pity party and I’m not embarrassed to admit that since I’m pretty sure the rest of you can relate.

We spend our days telling ourselves that we aren’t good enough, worthy enough, valuable enough, pretty enough, smart enough…need I go on? We wonder secretly to ourselves, “Is this all there is? Isn’t there supposed to be something more to my life?” So I titled my post today “Be who You Already Are” because deep inside of each one of us, we are all wondering the same thing…and are hoping to discover some magical answer to our questions. But the truth is, you are already equipped with your own set of values, central beliefs and life purpose. It’s just a matter of letting God reveal the truth and trusting in Him.
I want to talk about how important it is to be who you are, not who you think you should be, or who your husband or friends want you to be…but who you know God is calling you to be.

A few years ago I made this note to myself, it’s a good reminder for me when I feel like the world is closing in…

Be who you already are. Stop striving, perfecting, adjusting, adapting, collapsing, hiding, fearing, worrying, wondering, compromising and just be who you already are. I know that you’re already thinking, “But who am I, I have no idea.” And, “How in the world am I supposed to be who I already am when the whole world tells me I’m not good enough?” Start with remembering who God is to you, how he has worked in your life and then hold on tight to that little glimmer of light that represents the “you” you were before society, before your family and yes, before you told yourself to be someone different.

Early in my marriage I used to wonder how long it would take Grant to change his mind and leave me for someone else. I pretended to be more than I was, trying to fill the shoes that everyone else set before me. I performed and perfected my act…and became someone I didn’t recognize. I lost myself not unlike so many other women who have struggled with their own identity and the shame they carry with them from past abuse or some other sort of trauma. I lived like that for twelve years, wondering what my purpose was and questioned my reason for existing.

But all that time of questioning and wondering I felt a deep prodding in my heart. I knew the bible and I believed that God loved me and had a plan and purpose for my life. But I didn’t understand how I could get past my shame and really be who it seemed like he wanted me to be. I did bible studies and led small groups and knew in my heart over the course of time that the more I sought God the more I understood who he meant for me to be. He was calling me out of the shadows, whispering to me almost every day how much he loved me and how he could use my sadness for his good, to encourage and support others. He helped me see the truth through all the study and counseling that I did. I was significant to Him, and He had bestowed upon me my own set of unique talents and strengths, my own set of values that no one could ever take away from me no matter how hard they tried.

Each one of us regardless of our situation has a unique design that God has given to us. You know there is no one else like you on the face of the earth, you are unique in God’s eyes. No matter what anyone else has ever said or done to you, nothing can change the core of who you were created to be. Circumstance can try and traumatic events may seem to prevail but beneath all of that outside stuff, you are still you; the girl that God created in her mother’s womb, who He still loves and cherishes and gave His life for.

By virtue of your very existence you are significant.

Now, think about your daily lives. All the different hats you wear the people you come in contact with. Your families, your friends, your co-workers, your facebook friends…this is your sphere of influence and somehow every time you interact with them, you are influencing them. Therefore you are a woman of influence.

Remember how we talked about how your life is built on values, the building blocks of your life…and that by virtue of your own existence you are significant. Apply all those ideas to your circle of influence and realize that God has placed you right where you are for his specific purpose. The people that are in your life have been put there for a reason, how do you want to influence them… ?

As God’s creation you are pleasing to Him, and he takes great delight in you. Like any father He desires to prosper you, to see you grow and hopes that you will trust Him to light the way. He made you because He wanted a relationship with you, giving you your own characteristics and personality; there is no one else like you. According to Psalm 45:10 “The king is enthralled by your beauty.” What better way to honor Him than to cast aside the voices of our society that say we have to strive to be someone we are not. Instead answer the call that has been placed on your heart and dive into this realm of exploration and discovery. Stretch yourself as new truths are revealed and get excited about the amazing transformation that comes as you shed false living and move into a brand new authentic way of life, being who you already are.

Some new things...

2010-01-20T13:09:00.002-06:00

Yesterday you saw that I was messing around with trying something new. That little post I made was a test to see if what I was working on was actually going to work. And I'm so happy to tell you that, "YES" it worked. I'll explain...

A few months ago I was asked to be a part of one of my favorite coaching magazines, The Christian Coaching Magazine. I am officially their public relations person which includes lots of different things but primarily right now I'm handling all the social media for the magazine. I get to be on facebook a lot and Twitter too. There has certainly been a learning curve but it's fun and I'm always up for learning something new. Yesterdays little experiment had to do with this very cool web instrument that will allow you to post your status updates on Facebook and it will automatically post it on Twitter or whatever other social media tool you choose. It will even pull automatically from a blog post. Maybe this isn't something very new but it was to me and I was thrilled to have figured it out all by myself. YAY ME!

My next challenge is to try and link to the magazine page so that whenever a new edition is coming out or something newsworthy is worth sharing, it will post across the internet telling everyone what we're up to. If you're interested in learning more about this instrument you can find it at a website called hootsuite. Here's the link:http://www.hootsuite.com

That's all for now...find me on Twitter: resurrectedgirl or on Facebook: Allison Rouse Johnson

See you soon!

Trying something new

2010-01-19T15:34:00.002-06:00

This is me trying something new...just a little test to hopefully move towards something cool!

Remember Mulan??

2010-01-07T14:10:00.000-06:00

Throughout the history of Disney films a consistent theme has appeared in direct relationship to the values lived out by women today. The first Disney heroine, Snow White, may not conjure up images of a strong value foundation but she does firmly grasp her role in caring for the Seven Dwarfs. More recently characters like Mulan and Belle epitomize the unwavering commitment in discovering their core values and then they stand firmly upon them.

In the beginning Mulan, like many people in the world, is afraid to be herself and disappoint her family. She knows the path that has been laid out before her and strives to be the girl that everyone wants her to be. The problem is, she has an inner drive that does not fit the everyday Chinese girl and this becomes especially obvious as her mother takes her to the matchmaker to receive an extreme makeover. Mulan tries her best to become what she believes her family desires of her but she cannot please the matchmaker and is thrown out. Mulan believes she has failed miserably. Facing disappointment from her family Mulan turns away, disgusted with herself, wondering who she is and how she will ever gain their approval.

She ends up disguising herself as a man to protect her father and joins the Chinese army. Her adventures allow her to mature and gain emotional strength but it’s only when her fellow soldiers discover she is a woman that she is forced to take a hard look at herself. She suffers extreme humiliation, faces abandonment and more disappointment from the peers who knew her as Ping. For a moment she sinks into self pity but when she realizes the Huns are still alive she springs back into action. Only this time there is no disguise. To be effective in achieving her goal of protecting her country she must not pretend to be something she is not.

Like Mulan, many of us take on the roles that society or our families lay out. We adapt and adjust to fit their mold, never really considering that perhaps our own unique design was not meant to be adapted or adjusted in accordance with someone else’s. In the end Mulan discovers that while she was pretending to be someone else, her own unique self was deep inside her all along. Like many of us, she has to decide if being herself is enough. What she decides changes the course of her life and the course of history. She makes her decision to stand up; throwing off her disguise, believing the foundation of who she is will be her strongest asset. She has discovered she is significant, she is a woman of influence and she embraces the truth of her strengths even with her imperfections. The message is clear, no matter what anyone else says or does, she is enough.