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<channel>
	<title>Retard News</title>
	
	<link>http://retardnews.com</link>
	<description>News from retards around the world.</description>
	<lastBuildDate>Tue, 23 Jun 2009 20:28:44 +0000</lastBuildDate>
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		<title>Cookie dough more unhealthy than previously known</title>
		<link>http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/RetardNews/~3/kz-Y16s5DwI/</link>
		<comments>http://retardnews.com/2009/06/23/cookie-dough-more-unhealthy-than-previously-known/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Tue, 23 Jun 2009 20:28:44 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Michael</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Everyday Retards]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://retardnews.com/?p=858</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Nestle has recalled Toll House cookie dough due to possible E. coli that has sickened 66 people in 28 different states. According to ABC News, many of the afflicted people reportedly had eaten some of the cookie dough within a period of time surrounding their illness.
Nestle has made a public statement that there has been [...]]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>Nestle has recalled Toll House cookie dough due to possible E. coli that has sickened 66 people in 28 different states. According to ABC News, many of the afflicted people reportedly had eaten some of the cookie dough within a period of time surrounding their illness.<span id="more-858"></span></p>
<p>Nestle has made a public statement that there has been no conclusive evidence of E. coli being found in any of their tested product.</p>
<p>Though many people enjoy the taste of raw cookie dough, and in some cases prefer it to the actual cooked cookie dough, Nestle stated they have warnings on cookie dough labels warning that people shouldn&#8217;t eat it raw.</p>
<p>A Nestle facility in Danville has been shut down and is crawling with inspectors.</p>
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		<item>
		<title>FDA warns against hand sanitizers</title>
		<link>http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/RetardNews/~3/hjIPAIblzrw/</link>
		<comments>http://retardnews.com/2009/06/12/fda-warns-against-hand-sanitizers/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Fri, 12 Jun 2009 17:06:39 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Michael</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Everyday Retards]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://retardnews.com/?p=857</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Clarcon Biological Chemistry Laboratory Inc. of Roy, Utah, issued a voluntary recall of some skin sanitizers and skin protectants marketed under several different brand names, the FDA said in a statement.
Examples of products that should be discarded include Citrushield Lotion, Dermasentials DermaBarrier, Dermassentials by Clarcon, Antimicrobial Hand Sanitizer, Iron Fist Barrier Hand Treatment, Skin Shield [...]]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>Clarcon Biological Chemistry Laboratory Inc. of Roy, Utah, issued a voluntary recall of some skin sanitizers and skin protectants marketed under several different brand names, the FDA said in a statement.<span id="more-857"></span></p>
<p>Examples of products that should be discarded include Citrushield Lotion, Dermasentials DermaBarrier, Dermassentials by Clarcon, Antimicrobial Hand Sanitizer, Iron Fist Barrier Hand Treatment, Skin Shield Restaurant, Skin Shield Industrial, Skin Shield Beauty Salon Lotion, Total Skin Care Beauty and Total Skin Care Work.</p>
<p>The FDA said its findings, following a recent inspection of the Clarcon facility, are particularly concerning because the products are promoted as antimicrobial agents that claim to treat open wounds and damaged skin and protect against various infectious diseases. The inspection uncovered serious deviations from FDA&#8217;s Good Manufacturing Practice requirements, the agency said.</p>
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		<feedburner:origLink>http://retardnews.com/2009/06/12/fda-warns-against-hand-sanitizers/</feedburner:origLink></item>
		<item>
		<title>$1,000,000 mattress is missing</title>
		<link>http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/RetardNews/~3/ManQ3MEYsy4/</link>
		<comments>http://retardnews.com/2009/06/12/1000000-mattress-is-missing/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Fri, 12 Jun 2009 16:56:08 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Michael</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[International Retards]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://retardnews.com/?p=856</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[In Israel, a woman was trying to be nice and buy her mother a new mattress so she scheduled and had it delivered. The old mattress was taken to a city dump before the mother returned home to learn her daughter had been so thoughtful as to buy her a new mattress.
Upon realizing what had [...]]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>In Israel, a woman was trying to be nice and buy her mother a new mattress so she scheduled and had it delivered. The old mattress was taken to a city dump before the mother returned home to learn her daughter had been so thoughtful as to buy her a new mattress.</p>
<p>Upon realizing what had happened, the mother informed her daughter that she had kept her life savings of approximately $1,000,000 in the mattress.<span id="more-856"></span></p>
<p>Since the mattress was taken away by the garbage collectors, the daughter started her searching of three different landfills.  One of the dump managers told the reporters regarding this story that security had been stepped up to keep treasure hunters from attempting to plunder the lost fortune, while also stating that with 2,500 tons of garbage arriving daily it would be quite difficult to find one single item.</p>
<p>I bet the daughter will be grounded for a long time for this.</p>
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		<item>
		<title>Miami prosecutor arrested for beating pizza delivery woman</title>
		<link>http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/RetardNews/~3/dmJRe3Ix4Go/</link>
		<comments>http://retardnews.com/2009/06/03/miami-prosecutor-arrested-for-beating-pizza-delivery-woman/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Wed, 03 Jun 2009 00:03:16 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>jerome</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Everyday Retards]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://retardnews.com/?p=855</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Miami, FLORIDA — Miami prosecutor David Ranck reportedly got in a shouting match with a pizza delivery woman outside of his that turned violent.

The woman was trying to gain access to delivery a pizza inside the gated development last saturday.
There was some kind of altercation that went from yelling to David Ranck allegedly punching the [...]]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>Miami, FLORIDA — Miami prosecutor David Ranck reportedly got in a shouting match with a pizza delivery woman outside of his that turned violent.<br />
<span id="more-855"></span><br />
The woman was trying to gain access to delivery a pizza inside the gated development last saturday.</p>
<p>There was some kind of altercation that went from yelling to David Ranck allegedly punching the woman in the arm and knocking her in the head.</p>
<p>Ranck claims the pizza delivery woman hit him with her car prompting the altercation.</p>
<p>He was arrested and released on his on recognizance although he has been suspended without pay  as a prosecutor pending resolution of the altercation.</p>
<p><a href="http://www.nbcmiami.com/news/local/Prosecutor-Punches-Pizza-Delivery-Lady.html" target="_blank" >NBC Miami</a></p>
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		<item>
		<title>Chinese man gives suicidal man on bridge a push</title>
		<link>http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/RetardNews/~3/zawar4lfDOs/</link>
		<comments>http://retardnews.com/2009/05/26/chinese-man-gives-suicidal-man-on-bridge-a-push/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Tue, 26 May 2009 17:44:25 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>jerome</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[International Retards]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://retardnews.com/?p=854</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Guangzhou, CHINA — A Chinese man heavily in debt spent five hours blocking traffic when finally a passer by got fed up and pushed him off the bridge he was considering jumping from.

Chen Fuchao (no f word jokes please) was about 2 million chinese Yuan in debt, around $290,000 (or one shelf worth of Chinese goods [...]]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>Guangzhou, CHINA — A Chinese man heavily in debt spent five hours blocking traffic when finally a passer by got fed up and pushed him off the bridge he was considering jumping from.<br />
<span id="more-854"></span><br />
Chen Fuchao (no f word jokes please) was about 2 million chinese Yuan in debt, around $290,000 (or one shelf worth of Chinese goods at Walmart).</p>
<p>So he stood on a bridge where 6 other jumpers had ended their lives for around five hours blocking traffic.</p>
<p>66-year-old Lai Jiansheng was fed up with Chen&#8217;s &#8220;selfish activity&#8221; and after breaking though a police cordon pushed Chen off the bridge.</p>
<p>Chen landed on a partially inflated air bag and suffered injuries to his elbow and back.</p>
<p>Lai Jiansheng was detained but released by police after the incident. </p>
<p>Lai posed with a salute after pushing the suicidal man off the bridge.</p>
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<p><a href="http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/30896807/" target="_blank" >MSNBC Article</a></p>
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		<feedburner:origLink>http://retardnews.com/2009/05/26/chinese-man-gives-suicidal-man-on-bridge-a-push/</feedburner:origLink></item>
		<item>
		<title>Residents of Butt Hole road rename road after being the butt of jokes</title>
		<link>http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/RetardNews/~3/uv0-5G9D02k/</link>
		<comments>http://retardnews.com/2009/05/26/residents-of-butt-hole-road-rename-road-after-being-the-butt-of-jokes/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Tue, 26 May 2009 17:05:24 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>jerome</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[International Retards]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://retardnews.com/?p=852</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Conisbrough, ENGLAND — After years of jokes and tourists baring their all in front of the sign for pictures residents have renamed Butt Hole road.

77-year-old Elizabeth Brennan complained the old road was constantly being laughed at and it had become tedious.
Some residents had become so fed up with the name of the road they had moved.
The [...]]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>Conisbrough, ENGLAND — After years of jokes and tourists baring their all in front of the sign for pictures residents have renamed Butt Hole road.<br />
<span id="more-852"></span></p>
<p>77-year-old Elizabeth Brennan complained the old road was constantly being laughed at and it had become tedious.</p>
<p>Some residents had become so fed up with the name of the road they had moved.</p>
<p>The street was probably named after a communal water butt.</p>
<p>A rainwater tank sometimes called rain barrels in America are called water butts in the UK.</p>
<p>There is already a petition to switch the name of the road back to Butt Hole Road.</p>
<p><a href="http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1187773/Residents-Butt-Hole-Road-club-change-streets-unfortunate-name.html?ITO=1490" target="_blank" >Daily Mail Article</a></p>
<img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/RetardNews/~4/uv0-5G9D02k" height="1" width="1"/>]]></content:encoded>
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		<slash:comments>1</slash:comments>
		<feedburner:origLink>http://retardnews.com/2009/05/26/residents-of-butt-hole-road-rename-road-after-being-the-butt-of-jokes/</feedburner:origLink></item>
		<item>
		<title>People with downs syndrome are cancer resistant</title>
		<link>http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/RetardNews/~3/ZG0kLaK65U8/</link>
		<comments>http://retardnews.com/2009/05/22/people-with-downs-syndrome-are-cancer-resistant/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Fri, 22 May 2009 15:51:47 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>jerome</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Technerd]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://retardnews.com/?p=851</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[People with downs syndrome may have the cure for cancer even if they can&#8217;t spell it.

Downs syndrome is a chromosomal disorder caused by an error in cell division that gives them a third chromosome 21.
Because of the genetic defect they are likely to have a host of health problems including leukemia at rate twenty times [...]]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>People with downs syndrome may have the cure for cancer even if they can&#8217;t spell it.<br />
<span id="more-851"></span><br />
Downs syndrome is a chromosomal disorder caused by an error in cell division that gives them a third chromosome 21.</p>
<p>Because of the genetic defect they are likely to have a host of health problems including leukemia at rate twenty times the average.  </p>
<p>They are also likely to develop respiratory problems, heart defects, kidney disorders, Alzheimer, thyroid defects, hearing and vision loss.</p>
<p>One disease they seem to have a high resistance to is cancer, people with downs syndrome have only about 10% the rate of cancer compared to the general population.</p>
<p>The additional chromosome gives them extra versions of 231 different genes including DSCR1, also known as RCAN1.</p>
<p>Research compiled by Harvard University shows that extra DSCR1 genes slowed or even blocked tumor growth.</p>
<p>It is likely that this gene in combination with perhaps five others acts to block blood supply to the cancerous cells.</p>
<p>The so called “calcineurin-signaling pathway” is interrupted and the cancerous cells cannot grow beyond a clump of cells.</p>
<p>Anti-cancer drugs have tried to create similar results with very little success, although this research could help lead to more effective anti-angiogenic therapy in the future.</p>
<p><a href="http://www.healthnews.com/medical-updates/genetic-clue-down-syndrome-may-help-cancer-research-3168.html" target="_blank" >Healthnews Article</a></p>
<img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/RetardNews/~4/ZG0kLaK65U8" height="1" width="1"/>]]></content:encoded>
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		<feedburner:origLink>http://retardnews.com/2009/05/22/people-with-downs-syndrome-are-cancer-resistant/</feedburner:origLink></item>
		<item>
		<title>Couple on the run after bank mistake gives them $6 million dollars</title>
		<link>http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/RetardNews/~3/07mAdaQvGZs/</link>
		<comments>http://retardnews.com/2009/05/22/couple-on-the-run-after-bank-mistake-gives-them-6-million-dollars/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Fri, 22 May 2009 15:34:47 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>jerome</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[International Retards]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://retardnews.com/?p=850</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[WELLINGTON, New Zealand — Leo Gao and his girlfriend are on the run after their bank accidently gave them a $6.1 million dollar credit line.
The couple ran a gas station, and had applied for an overdraft.
The Westpac Bank blames the mistake on human error and the amount should have been a fraction of that amount.
Interpol [...]]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>WELLINGTON, New Zealand — Leo Gao and his girlfriend are on the run after their bank accidently gave them a $6.1 million dollar credit line.<span id="more-850"></span><br />
The couple ran a gas station, and had applied for an overdraft.</p>
<p>The Westpac Bank blames the mistake on human error and the amount should have been a fraction of that amount.</p>
<p>Interpol is searching for the couple and the bank plans on &#8220;pursuing vigorous criminal and civil action to recover the sum of money stolen&#8221;.</p>
<p>The pair had been living on Rotorua, a tourist resort on North Island with Kara Yang and her 7-year-old daughter Leena.</p>
<p>Police believe the couple may have fled to Hong Kong or China with the money.</p>
<p><a href="http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/newstopics/howaboutthat/5359401/Couple-flee-after-bank-makes-10m-mistake.html" target="_blank" >UK Telegraph Article</a></p>
<img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/RetardNews/~4/07mAdaQvGZs" height="1" width="1"/>]]></content:encoded>
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		<feedburner:origLink>http://retardnews.com/2009/05/22/couple-on-the-run-after-bank-mistake-gives-them-6-million-dollars/</feedburner:origLink></item>
		<item>
		<title>Teen who auctioned virginity online stands to lose 65% in taxes</title>
		<link>http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/RetardNews/~3/nhqRNnd6ZT8/</link>
		<comments>http://retardnews.com/2009/05/22/teen-who-auctioned-virginity-online-stands-to-lose-65-in-taxes/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Fri, 22 May 2009 15:21:35 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>jerome</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Everyday Retards]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://retardnews.com/?p=849</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Tax officials in Germany are set to claim most of a teens earnings after she auctioned her virginity online.

18-year-old Alina Percea a Romanian born computer science major recently sold herself to an Italian businessman for about $14,000 US dollars.
Prostitution is legal in Germany, but unfortunately for Alina the earnings are heavily taxed like everything else [...]]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>Tax officials in Germany are set to claim most of a teens earnings after she auctioned her virginity online.<br />
<span id="more-849"></span><br />
18-year-old Alina Percea a Romanian born computer science major recently sold herself to an Italian businessman for about $14,000 US dollars.</p>
<p>Prostitution is legal in Germany, but unfortunately for Alina the earnings are heavily taxed like everything else in the socialist country.</p>
<p>Because of another 19% in Value Added Taxes she could wind up owing around 65% of her winning bid leaving her with around $4,800 dollars.</p>
<p>The teen spent the day with the 45-year-old man and had unprotected sex with him in a high end hotel in Venice.</p>
<p>She said she enjoyed it but the experience was quite painful — and that was before she found out about the taxes.</p>
<p><a href="http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/worldnews/article-1185928/Teen-auctioned-virginity-8-000-LOSE-half--prostitutes-Germany-taxed-50-earnings.html" target="_blank" >Dailymail Article</a></p>
<img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/RetardNews/~4/nhqRNnd6ZT8" height="1" width="1"/>]]></content:encoded>
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		<item>
		<title>Fake ape tries to steal fake bananas</title>
		<link>http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/RetardNews/~3/QLoWGmzeCT8/</link>
		<comments>http://retardnews.com/2009/05/21/fake-ape-tries-to-steal-fake-bananas/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Thu, 21 May 2009 21:53:13 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Michael</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Everyday Retards]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://retardnews.com/?p=848</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Because in Wisconsin there&#8217;s not enough to do, a man dressed in an ape suit and attempted to steal foam banana displays from the inside of local gas stations.  So far the fake ape has only attempted this at two different gas stations in the Fond Du Lac area.
Motives are currently unknown as the [...]]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>Because in Wisconsin there&#8217;s not enough to do, a man dressed in an ape suit and attempted to steal foam banana displays from the inside of local gas stations.  So far the fake ape has only attempted this at two different gas stations in the Fond Du Lac area.</p>
<p>Motives are currently unknown as the police have not yet nabbed the suspect, no further information is available on why someone would choose to dress as an ape to steal fake bananas.  <span id="more-848"></span></p>
<p>Source : <a href="http://www.fdlreporter.com" target="_blank">The Reporter</a></p>
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