Retrace Archive「記録」

Valentines Day

2012-02-13T10:06:00.000-08:00

So... it's valentines day today! 1:52am (Feb.14) here in my Kuni (country)...
Like most of my entire years, am dateless as ever. But no worries, am not really worried of that stuff right now. Am more worried about moi career. So before I could go on about unrelated stuff, it ends here right now.

So what's good about Vday? Well, for those who have boyfriends/girlfriends, it's their day! Hooray for 'em (and I sounded like a bitter gal just now... *peace*)

Nah, am not really bitter, it's true I suck at relationships, even in friendship whatsoever... but then, I guess it's not yet the time to be all mushy about love/relationship(s).

Yes, I understand that it's important too. But it's not my priority this time. Anyway, about today, how would I celebrate my Valentines (esp having no partner to celebrate with?). Well you're wrong! I do have partners in crime, well--- they're not human, they're things, such as TV, DVD Player. mr. cuddly pillows and half-full strawberry icecream. *grin*

So am gonna sitback, relax and watch any romantic movies/animes whatsoever today! I'm very much enjoying my single life y'know. But if given a chance, I'd definitely want to celebrate valentines with my Ikemens, especially Kashino-kun (Yumeiro Patissiere), I'd definitely want to try/taste one of his chocolate creations, yum! Oh well, back to reality, so that's just it. Am just gonna enjoy Vday just like any other day.

So, starting this very moment, am gonna listen some of Kannou Mukashi Banashi CDs and right after, gonna read Strobe Edge, found raw manga/s, sad to say I couldn't find raw manga/s of Barajou no Kiss, but atleast I've found drama cds of it, Nakamura Yuuichi-sama, you're voice is very (verrrrrrrrrry) sexy, *q*, he voiced as Higa Kaede (Barajou no Kiss), but I love his role more in Fairy Tail as Gray Fullbuster.

Anywho, over and out! TTFN! Again, Happy Valentines Day to everyone :)

when am feelin' blue

2012-02-11T00:34:00.000-08:00

so whenever I feel the blues~~

I always end up drawin'...

so here's my drawings for the past 2 days (~_~)

Food Trip: cakes, pastries, sweets & delicacies

2012-02-07T22:43:00.000-08:00

The pudding that I've always ordered at Shokudou

Sweet tooth? YES!
Although I tend to restrain myself from those stuff(s) (that's what you get for having cases of Diabetes in both side of family). So, having restrictions on sweet stuff is greatly inevitable -- especially, chocolates.

Sad to say, am now allergic to chocolates (ok that's a lie), well, am not really sure, it's just, there's a time I devou-- err ate only chocolates for 3-consecutive days, and so -- the red rashes appeared in my arms and back. So my mother pointed 'chocolate' as the genin (responsible, cause) for that red rashes, and from now on I was restricted eating chocolates (but having born stubborn, what else can you expect from moi? :P)

So, about sweets and stuff, I'm really quite interested in pastries especially the ones that were made in France. I first tasted Madeleine when a friend of mine (from Kobe U) went to D**** for a 6-days vacation, he gave us box of madeleine(s) as sashiage and other stuff. Oh Dieu, that was delicious! Tres Bien! I guess, that was my first and last, huh? ^_^ I don't know any shop selling madeleines, and if it were to have one, I don't think it's as good as those I've tasted before. The quality is superb.

In terms of cakes, I'd definitely like sort-of ice cream-ish cakes especially -- Red Ribbon, but since it's a commercial cake shop, I think there's still much beyond imaginable tasty cake out there, and the only way to find that out, is if I'd go to France. The world's best pastries and where best patissiere(s) are.

Oh yeah! There is one, the cakes I've tasted in Japan, there's this friend of a friend who invited us to their homes and the wife prepared the cakes (from a certain cake shop w/c I don't know where and what) but that cake was indeed delicious, the cakes are well presented and like french cakes, they're all in even shape, not just the presentation but the taste as well, it has that bittersweet after taste...

I love Japan's sweets too, especially, momiji manju (in Hiroshima). Although if you're looking for a well-known japanese sweets, you should visit Kyoto. There was a time that we really made one, and well, for me who rarely holds cooking utensils, I was able to make 'okashi' and well, it tasted good too... not as good as the shop sells but it's somehow edible! :P

I first ate pudding in Japan, and when it's time for breakfast/lunch/dinner, I'd always make a point that I'd buy one... ^__^ it tasted like leche flan but not actually a leche flan. :P In terms of pancakes, so far, the tastiest pancakes I've ever tasted were at Pancake House :) So before I reminisce too much on those, that's about it, the sweets I've tasted so far. :P

Oh, in my county, especially the city I live in, there's this special delicacy called Bibingka, and in my hometown, there's a famous shop who tops it all. So among delicacies I've tasted (in my country) that's the most promising one. It may not look tasty to everyone but you can assure that its good Don't base a food on what it looks like it might look crap to you but once you've tasted it, you'll crave for more. :D

(-_-ll)

2012-02-07T09:06:00.000-08:00

REJECTION

all of which I have no idea on how to express.

it's just -- once rejected, it's beginning to devour you inside and out.

People say, stay positive, and all things will be ok in a matter of time.

but how can you say that if you haven't really experienced it yet?

Although, I understand that in times like this we have to be strong.

And we have to believe in ourselves -- (<.<)

Because that's the only thing that's left to us -- (^_^;)

if we stop believing in ourselves -- nothing will be left.

For better or for worst, we must continue believing in ourselves, huh?

Miracles don't just come and happen, it needs hard work and effort

Simply saying, No Pain No Gain.

---

antagonist/s(?)

2012-02-03T11:46:00.000-08:00

So still lovestruck in Monster anime/manga, with regards to that I will be talking about the antagonist/s (?) this time. Will talk about Johan later, since am still dumbfounded by his brilliance and evil(ness). So instead will be talking about Lunge(?) or is it Runge and someone else, either way, it doesn't matter.

Many of you ~~would~~ might oppose on what I've said about Lunge/Runge being the antagonist. Well, am not really sure what role he's portraying anyway. But one thing's for sure, he wanted to capture Dr. Tenma, which makes him one of the antagonist of the series. So what about this dude then?

Well, am not talking about how obsessive he is towards Dr.Tenma or anything rubbish. But mainly a comparison between two characters that have similarities in terms of their personalities per se.

Starting with Inspector Lunge (decided using L instead of using R); though I've said that this does not concern him about having obsessive behavior towards Tenma but I guess, I still need discussing those since that's one of the similarities these two characters have. Having said that, am still restraining any details with regards to that specific characteristic/s.

So what makes Inspector Lunge similar to X? That would be, 1) Job 2) Behavior 3) Goal.

So there are 3 parts in which these two characters have in common. Yes, indeed -- JOB. They're both working as Men of Justice, or mainly the ones who captures fugitives, criminals or who breaks the law. Or to be exact or rather direct to the point, they're both Police Inspector.

Next, Behavior. Yes, earlier I've said what behavior Inspector Lunge possess -- Obsession . The fact that he wants, at any cost, catch Dr. Tenma and X-dude feels the same way too. Another behavior they possess, they're pretty much to assume things (maybe because of being with the job for too long and encountering lots of criminals must've triggered those traits, that's part of the deal I guess, if you have that kind of job, expect the unexpected), think 5x ahead of criminal/s. And lastly, they have this irritating aura; seeing Lunge and X makes me really irritated and sometimes giving off weird feeling.

So let's break the (?) towards character X, let's reveal this dude -- if some of you cracked X; congratulations. For some who didn't -- better luck next time. So, character X, is none other than, Les Miserables -- Inspector Javert.

credits to Licca Fansubs (image)

Lastly, Inspector Lunge and Inspector Javert have the same goal -- to catch the criminal they're pursuing. Javert was obsessed of catching Jean Valjean and Inspector Lunge was (at first) obsessed catching Dr. Tenma. So basically these are the characters, who's suppose to be in the good side but may ~~or may not~~ be antagonist/s.

This is only my opinion, if you're against it, you're free do to so. Opinions are opinions -- and am entitled to one.

lots of unrelated blabber post

2012-02-03T03:20:00.000-08:00

So before my computer crashes again like what happened last few weeks ago and had to reformat everything else, including installing chrome as browser... and totally destroying every files err bookmarks I've saved so far, here's a backup in case that happens again (seriously, stop)

so I've been totally obsessed with studying -- but since I have ~~minor~~ problems in financial, my parents can no longer sustain my thirst for going to college for the second time around, or is it third time(?) so I have to study in more economical way, and that of course through use of internet (the convenient way to study). Although I've ordered books from Amazon, few days ago, I still have weeks or even a month to wait before it arrives.

So, basically I have to depend on Mr.Web first, that's why am very saddened if SOPA/PIPA will be pursued. Then again, off topic. So here it goes, I've been searching for blogs and sites which enables me to study. And some of you might not understand this but some of you can and may thank me later for this -- it's via Japanese so it's like hitting two birds in one stone, I'm not a native Japanese, just studied Japanese for 4 years in College, 2-3 years self-studying, and even today/recently still reviewing/studying Japanese. Am very much passionate about Japan. But having no luck at all, am still stuck here in my beloved country, still haven't tasted the air of Japan (for the second time) for almost 2 years. And yes, I can totally comprehend what Chiaki Shin'chi felt back then, I too, feel the same way.

So again, pretty much off topic -- where are we? Oh yes, the sites.
So when I was on the verge of Korean fandom, I started searching sites which enables me to learn korean (via Japanese of course) and yes, I've successfully found that site, Hangul Forest & KBS World Radio.

Then, because of my addiction to 2005 anime MONSTER, decided to look for a site which teaches german, found few interesting sites indeed (again via Japanese) that would be: 自由学芸堂ドイツ語 & Grammatiftafel Deustch

then I have a friend who's learning english; she sometimes post what she have learned via blog. If italian, then Italia-go de [Subarashii desu ne]. And finally the language I've been meaning to learn and even enthusiastically wanted to go to **** just to enroll and learn french from a certain institution (even bought 2 books last year and another 2 books from amazon this month) French -- 学校行かずにフランス語.

And if you wanna learn about Japanese Urban legend go here

still watchin' monster

2012-02-01T10:24:00.000-08:00

so it's February~ few months or rather weeks left and the results are out! anyway, i don't want to stress myself on those stuff yet

so *points* at the title, am still watchin' MONSTER. Am still at episode 30's still way waaaaaaaay far.

(credits to ngiuphobia)

anywho, i was wonderin' what was the animation all about in the ending theme, kinda creepy, then on episode 31? or is it 32, when Johan went to the library to look for a picture book for his "friend" he found this book (never showed the title of the book -- the librarian(?) spoke only about the author) so, because am curious enough, i used google to search what book 'Emil Scherbe' made -- and voila, the creepy ending animation !! there it is, finally, all mysteries revealed! So that was it all about, the book title says it all... "The Nameless Monster".. if you want to read the story -- you can go here

Monster -- better late than never

2012-01-30T04:54:00.000-08:00

now watchin' MONSTER (anime)... psychological thriller/conspiracy anime ♥, what would you do if you find out that the person you save/d is actually a ruthless murderer?

---SPOILER ALERT---

... although am still at episode 19 out of 74, the setting is in Germany but the protagonist is a Japanese surgeon who was accused of multiple serial killings & now a fugitive (when in fact the boy he saved back then was the real perpetrator of all this -- named Johann and said to be the new Hitler --ofcourse in Anime).

Back when he became a serial-killer, Johann was an orphaned boy and has a twin sister; they were found at the borders of Czech, although they were separated; Johann was brought to Kinderheim 511 (orphanage) and his sister Anna/Nina was at another orphanage. Kinderheim 511 was said to be or proven to be experimentation lab which produces perfect soldiers (which maybe the cause why he became a killer). After the collapse of Kinderheim 511, Johann and his sister reunited again and was adopted by the ~ Family.

At that time Dr. Tenma Kenzo (genius surgeon) was the verge of success when suddenly due to confusion of self-righteousness and ambition; he chose to be righteous and disobeyed direct orders from the director, instead treating the mayor first; he treated the child (Johann). Mayor died and his son (Johann) was saved. Unknowingly, he saved a MONSTER which led to Dr.Tenma's dilemmas.

Later revealed that Johann was the one who killed his foster parents and that his sister Anna (Nina Fortner) was the one who shot Johann on the head. Anna stated that every couple who adopted them got killed and that rainy night she discovered that her brother (Johann) was the one who killed them all, and so "I held the gun, and the funny thing is, my brother said, go on but be sure to aim the head".

Now, Tenma felt responsible for the killings (because he was the one who actually saved him from the verge of death) and wants to stop him by killing him. It is also revealed that Johann seemed to have suffered in multiple personality disorder; which one seeks help to stop his killings and the other one a ruthless/merciless/remorseless serial-killer.

PS

if you want more detailed review → ngiuphobia's review

return of the titans in Japanese Drama

2012-01-24T22:55:00.000-08:00

Woah! Am back~~ for that matter, I wanna introduce my favorite J-stars~ yes, no K-stars this time. Am originally hook on everything Japanese anyway. So from my come back, I wanna tackle on my favorite J-stars and what makes ‘em my favorites.

Speaking of come back, it’s been awhile since I’ve seen MatsuJun-sama on drama, it seems as always his dramas are awesome. He’s ‘Lucky Seven’ drama was one of the reason of my come back anyways, aside from Yamapi and Yamada Ryosuke-kun.

So what power do MatsuJun possess to make girls gaga over him anyway? You ask me? Simply, IDK. But all I know I like his drama/s – and now, am totally loving “Lucky Seven” (and Eita’s there too :P)

I first saw MatsuJun in an MV (Animax Musix), I think that song was “Hero” by Arashi. I didn’t like him back then; I don’t even know him that time too. So when I started liking him was in “GOKUSEN”. And I think that was his most popular role too (as Shin). Then it all started there, I watched almost all of his drama, like “Kimi wa Pet”, “Hana Yori Dango” then lastly was “Bambino”. I never attempted watching his Boku no Imoto koi suru somethin’ since incest romantic genre isn’t really my forte. Although I watched his “Smile” wherein he was a half Filipino in the story, I wasn’t able to finish it because I was busy in school (and I rarely watch Jdrama because I solely devote my passion in anime at that time).

So next is, Narimiya Hiroki. I forgot what sort of drama I’ve first watched Narimiya-sama. But I think it was Nana movie, wherein his role was Nobu. I never knew him at that time. I can’t really remember how I started liking him but maybe when he acted as Morita in Honey and Clover (since in the Anime, I really really love Morita’s character). Then it progresses when he acted as J (Bloody Monday). I also love his “Yankee-kun to Megane-chan” L.A. drama too.

Eita, well, I first saw this dude in --- Nodame Cantabile! It suits him perfectly being Mine chara. When I was in Tokyo at that time, I saw his airing drama (at that time) with co-star Ueno Juri titled as “Sunao ni Narenakute”. From then on, I’m now one of his fans. Then while was on Drama mode, I asked my friend a recommendation what sort of drama to watch and she recommended me “Voice”, when I checked the casts I saw Eita and Toma Ikuta, without hesitation immediately watched it.

KimuTaku (Kimura Takuya), all-time favorite, all of his DRAMA are to DIE for, seriously, I love every role he portrays, I first saw him in drama titled, “GOODLUCK”. Oh I just love that drama, even re-watched it 3-4 times. Favorite series are – MR.BRAIN (more season pleeeeeeease), Tsuki no Koibito and Nankyoku Tairiku.

Last, Yamada Ryosuke, I first saw him as Amakusa Ryuu (Detective School Q/Tantei Gakuen Q). I love that anime, so when I’ve heard there’s a LA drama without a doubt I watched it. From that “Amakusa” role of his, that was the pinpoint I started liking him although at that time he was still a petite boy. Also, I love his role in Hidarime Tantei Eye, and I can’t wait for more episode in his new Drama “Risou no Musuko”. J

So that’s it, my top favorite J-stars namely Kimura Takuya, MatsuJun, Narimiya Hiroki, Eita & Yamada Ryosuke. Oguri Shun, Toma Ikuta, Yamada Takayuki, Tamaki Hiroshi, Yamapi, Kamenashi Kazuya, Koide Keisuke, Kaname Jun, Koike Teppei, MIZUSHIMA HIRO, Fujiki Naohito, Sorimachi Takashi, Sato Takeru, Miura Haruma, Hayami Mokomichi are also my favorites, the people mentioned above are atleast 1-2 points ahead. J

And my addition to my favorites (but still under observation since I just recently knew him because of his new drama SWITCH GIRL) Kiriyama Renn. Although he already has couple dramas like Hana Kimi (new version) as Nanba (just heard there’s already been a new version of Hana Kimi too). Switch Girl is the first time I laid my eyes on him and so far he’s indeed OPPAlicious. Hahaha. Definitely love his voice, very manly J

---
END

Mazakon Koala Punch~ nante ne...!

2012-01-23T14:11:00.000-08:00

山田くんの言うとおり、誰にでも母ちゃんのこと嫌いわけないよ。恥ずかしくて言えないだけ！

でもあたし、毎日「母ちゃんスキだよ」と普通に言えるけど。本当だし、伝えたいし。だってあたしのために精一杯頑張ってるし。そういう言葉が聞くと母ちゃんが絶対喜ばせるだろうとおもったし、確か母ちゃん喜んだし。だって気持ちを伝えるのは大事だろう。手遅れにならないうちに言いたいことちゃんと伝えたかったし、人々の生き延びる人生はあまり長くないし・・・後悔したくないからそう決めた。だから、あたし、マザコンじゃない、ただ母ちゃんのことスキだけだ！

来週の「理想の息子」の次回エピソードお楽しみに♪

山田涼介くん大きくなったね、もっともっと立派な俳優・歌手になれますように♪

LSS of the day/week

2012-01-23T00:17:00.000-08:00

It's been moi recent LSS of the week~ as you can hear, it's even my BGM (t'is blog)

Credits to Kpop Quote & Cha-Cha

넌 내게 반했어

1 우연히도 그렇게 우린 시작 됐나봐

처음엔 사랑일거라고 꿈에도 몰랐는데 그게 사랑일줄야

심장이 막 자꾸만 두근두근 거리고 날 보면 미소만 흐르고

니 맘도 모르게 날 사랑하게 된거야

# 넌 내게 반했어 반했어 달콤한 내사랑에 녹아버렸어

넌 내게 반했어 반했어 황홀한 내눈빛에 취해버렸어

See my eyes 넌 내게 빠졌어

See my eyes 넌 내게 반했어

2 사랑은 늘 갑자기 운명처럼 오나봐

어느날 찾아온 소나기 처럼 날 적셔놓고 그게 사랑일줄야

눈감아도 자꾸만 문득문득 떠올라 빨개진 얼굴을 볼때면

니맘도 모르게 날 사랑하게 된거야

# 넌 내게 반했어 반했어 달콤한 내사랑에 녹아버렸어

넌 내게 반했어 반했어 황홀한 내눈빛에 취해버렸어

See my eyes 넌 내게 빠졌어

See my eyes 넌 내게 반했어

# 나도 널 사랑해 사랑해 이제 널 사랑한다 고백할거야

나도 널 사랑해 사랑해 내맘이 사랑한다 말하고있어

See my eyes 나만 바라봐줘

See my eyes 난 너를 사랑해

(See my eyes 넌 내게 빠졌어) 이시간이 지나도 영원히

(See my eyes 넌 내게 반했어) 나도 모르게 넌 내게 반했어

----

aside from You've Fallen for me, Dustz' Spiral too~ :)

Credits to Anime Lyrics

彷徨う trap in endless night

存在自体に意味失い

戻れない過去 Don’t you dare to know

崩れる all thing that I believe

現実見たくない暗い日々

抜け出せない状況 Don’t know where to go

Do you know that “hope” is fake in this world

And “despair” is the only truth I’ve got

闇を切り裂いて

∞ 忙しない Why I must be bleeding?

逃げれない Mélancolie

限界足掻いてる発狂寸前 Because it will never end

J’ai plus rien a croire

Cette vie qu’est-ce qu’il y a a voir?

敵わない this suffering world!

En levant les yeux, il n’y a rien a faire

J’ai plus envie de me mentir a moi meme

Mais, ces realites qui defoncent mon esprit

Pourquoi on vit? Pourquoi cet endroit?

Ou aller se plaindre? Qui me comprendra?

Ou est cette putain de verite?

S’egorger toujours tout le temps, qui voudra me faire

peine a moi?

Comme quoi? Comme qui? Comme-ci comme-ca, sans

raison, oh Dieu pourquoi?

Cette vie Infernale

Continue jusqu’a ma finale

J’espere ma liberte

Ne pense pas qu’on passe sur un chemin etendu

C’est qu’une etape, et tape le chemin attendu x3

Personne essaye de comprendre ce que l’on dit

J’ai plus de dix ans! T’es con ou quoi?

∞ 壊したい That’s my last scream

!避けれない Reality

No Pain No Gain 絶対抗戦

If really there is an end

A quoi je m’attends?

Apocalypse maintenant

変わらない this suffering world!

things that inspired you towards success

2012-01-22T23:58:00.000-08:00

So what are the reasons why you're successful today? Is it because your parents forced you into what you are right now? As for me, noone forced me, ofcourse my parents provides me enough reminders to prevent me from crossing the wrong path but nevertheless, what I am today is my own doing and not because of someone else. Although, I can't say that am successful now like most celebrities/millionaires/billionaires since I'm still penniless & nameless :P

But what I mean is, what drove you into what you are right now? Is it because of some pop Idol? American Idol? Masterchef? Top Model?

As for me, it started with Anime -- all achievement I've got so far is because of my intense addiction (lol) to Anime or anything with regards to Japan. I've attained something not everyone can have; it's because of --fandom towards Anime.

Now, am not saying am no longer an Otaku (of anime/jpop/jculture) but am more of expanding my addiction to other cultures as well. Everything am fond of was because I was able to watch/read it in anime/manga. For example, I was never really fond of Classical Music; I never really knew Mozart, Beethoven, Rachmaninoff, Chopin, Tchaikovsky etc before. But simply because of Nodame Cantabile, I was able to love those music, even today! When I was still in college, I always incorporate classical music when am studying.

So again, because of anime, I was willing to learn Japanese (passed some JLPT levels & was even able to go to Japan because of it, even met foreigners with the same interest as well etc etc)

So aside from having much interest what I've seen/saw in anime, there's this certain Opening theme in a certain anime called Blood-C which inspired me in studying/learning french, ~~(was able to find a site teaching free french via Japanese too)~~ that's Dustz' Spiral single.

Although am ~~taking low~~ (laylow) with my fandom towards anime/anything with regards to Japan; currently on detour, (loving Kpop culture ~ but I'll forever be loyal to J-culture). It's really rare for me to listen Kpop, but because of Heartstrings, I was able to indulge in Kmusic, and even become a fangirl of CNBLUE. Really loving Jung Yong Hwa's voice ~ I love their single Intuition. It's been my ~~LSS~~ today.

So basically, what am trying to say is that, what makes of what I am today is because of my daily fandoms of Jpop, Kpop and even American TV shows like Criminal Minds. So I'm thankful, because of these interests, I was able to produce a dream that I want to ~~fulfill~~ realize someday -- and I believe that through this I can gain something which will lead to success. For now, am still a penniless/nameless ~~dudette~~ but someday, maybe, I can have my own respectable name, maybe not like the idols am fantasizing or whatever, but atleast a name which I or my family can be proud of.

----

weekend escapade~ or not xD

2012-01-21T01:02:00.000-08:00

So after re-reading my previous entries (way back '08-07), I realize how childish I am back then, well, am not saying I'm not childish now, 'cause there's still a moment I act childishly in front of everyone, even in here (blog). Anywho, regardless of my immature & childish(ness) am presenting you my obra (masterpiece).

I've drawn this a couple of days ago, and just colored it nao. Sad to say, I haven't installed Adobe Photoshop yet so I have to deal with this in old-fashioned way -- color pencil style. LOL

So, see how crappy I am in terms of coloring? RFOL
SO in any case, if you think it seems familiar, yup! It was inspired by my ultimate crush as of today, Jung Yong Hwa, yeah, I know he's far more than that, more IKEMEN (handsome), yes I know, I know but you see, a lil inspiration drive me into this... and to think my LSS is none other than Jung Yong Hwa's 넌 내게 반했어 (You've Fallen for me) single. It's like, yes I've fallen for you.. :P Who on earth can resist him anyway??? Okay there might be some, but, get off my back will ya... am just a fangirl (for the mean time) :P

See how irresistible he is? :D

flower language -- Lily of the Valley

2012-01-19T14:43:00.000-08:00

Am not really familiar with the 'flower language', although I've heard many things about that in animes I've seen, but never really had the interest in searching every species of flowers & their meaning, but there's this friend of mine posted something like this in FB, but the only difference is that, it's not about the flower but the "Alias" that corresponds on the month and the day of your birthday, I've tried it and the result was "Hana no Kakera" or in english Flower's fragments. So from that moment my friend posted another link which tells you what sort of flower (sorta like 'birth stones') that corresponds in your birthday.

And based on what I've learned in all the shows I've seen so far (I learn best when watching than reading, and according to Dr. Howard Gardner, who contributed alot in his study in multiple intelligence -- am more on visual intelligence type, although I have glimpse on Auditory & Linguistic Intelligence too) [so before I'll jump to another subject let's stop at this]. 花言葉(hana kotoba) or Flower Language has its own charm too, so basically all you need to do is search the flower that corresponds on your birthday, so by clicking this link you'll know what type of flower you possess. But since not all of us can speak/understand Japanese, I'll just explain it to you...

for example, if my birthday is on May 1st, my flower would be --- Suzuran, or in plain english, Lily of the Valley, like I've said, am not very much familiar with the flower language so I can't tell you more about it (yet). So in any case, I've check the link & the meaning of the suzuran (lily of the valley), it's said, Lily of the Valley, in the "language of flowers", signifies the return of happiness. Legend tells of the affection of a lily of the valley for a nightingale that did not come back to the woods until the flower bloomed in May [1]. Although in a certain anime called EMMA -- the victorian romance, if I remember correctly at the last episode of Season 1 titled as "Lily of the Valley" (i think it's on episode 12), at the train station wherein Emma's bound to leave, William gave Emma a flower (Lily of the Valley) and then the woman next to Emma said that those flowers who ever gave her that flowers must've treasured her or something because the meaning of that flower is "return of happiness".

So there it goes, the meaning of Suzuran (Lily of the Vallery) so for you who're born on May 1st, your flower is, 鈴蘭 (Suzuran), and it's meaning is, Return of Happiness or in Japanese「幸福が帰る」,「幸福の再来」「意識しない美しさ/Unaware Beauty」「純粋/Innocence」. And for those who can understand Japanese, see below.

Lily of the Valley -- Suzuran

Hearsays, beliefs & superstitions

2012-01-16T22:30:00.000-08:00

Another new topic, it seems my blog is sort of a mix about almost everything, ayt? Well, I like tackling stuff almost about everything that just come up my head anyways, and regarding about my grammar today, am not feeling well so it's probably natural that am having much error/s. And I don't feel like re-reading my entry and go editing it if there’s something to anyway. So, speaking of hearsay, there's this site wherein I luckily stumble upon while searching "is Adolf Hitler a sociopath" while watching NatGeo (Apocalypse War, marching towards WII), I saw on the search results, a very disturbing questions & allegations about Jose Rizal as Adolf Hitler's biological father & about Jose Rizal as the real Jack the Ripper. I was like, “Whaaaaaaaat? Come again?” Are they freakin’ serious about that? Idk where they’ve got those ideas but seriously, com’on. Although quite amusing, since they’ve bothered thinking about hilarious stuff and tried digging information about something very peculiar.

Anyway, superstitions, last Friday was the infamous Friday the 13^th, although in my country, it’s very famous for causing trouble among people, let’s say, bad day for people – since accidents happen and anything bad/misfortune/awful will come forth. So, as for me, although part of me believes in it, but, I tend to act as if it never existed. Although nothing bad happened to me on that day, it seems badluck landed on me yesterday & today(?)

Why, you ask? First, my PC got hit by terrible system v-i-r-u-s and I had to reformat my PC back to health. While I was doing that, I was too focused on something else, so when I successfully installed the OS, I had to install other stuff too, and format the drive D (because I wanted to have 2 partitions on the HD). But then I’ve realized there’s no Drive D, then it hit me, gosh, I forgot to make a partition! And had to reformat it again, after redoing, I installed office and other programs on my PC, when it was over, it’s time for connecting Ethernet to the modem to access the “internet”, but failed. So I had to figure why it’s not connecting then suddenly the LAN wire got ripped, I had to put off my CHS skills on high alert again for the nth time. So while preparing rj45, I started cutting the UTP wire (lan wire) to set the color coding before I’ll insert it to the rj45, since it’s not for networking, I was preparing for straight-thru cable. But then I remembered making some before so I checked my toolbox if there’s a spare, and yes! So I finally had my internet connection, or so I thought, it was freakin’ slow… it took me atleast an hour before I could regain the speed of the supposed-to-be or rather should be DSL connection.

And today, my father got bitten by our dog. It’s still on observation though. If the dog dies then my father would likely or has to take the full anti-rabies shot. Hopefully, our badluck will soon bygone. We already suffered enough (last year) can’t afford to have more this year.

mischievous, playful, itazura, ISWAK. WHATEVER

2012-01-14T11:40:00.000-08:00

So for my consecutive post per day, I decided to blog about "PLAYFUL KISS". Since I've finished my fandom over HEARTSTRINGS, I've decided to watch "PLAYFUL KISS" an alternative for Jung Yong Hwa's overpowering looks, so I tried diverting my attention to Kim Hyun Joong which is a success. But sad to say I couldn't bare watching the entire series, for one, and yes for one REASON only. The girl. No, not the actress. But the actress' character itself. It pisses me off! It turns me off! It creeps me out. EVERYTHING.

From my previous entry, I did mention about hating cliche stuffs right? But most of all, I hate girls who embarrasses herself in front of a guy (especially in front of their CRUSHES). Damn, that girl is freakin' annoying (no not personally, the CHARACTER). I have nothing against the actress, but geez, I just can't bear to look at the character, why did the author of Itazura na Kiss made such ~~disgusting gir~~l anyway??? She's--- she's no longer have pride in herself; that she'd do everything just to have the boy or please the boy; even if it's causing her to look stupid. I hate it. I just hate it. Sorry! I like the story but I just couldn't love the girl's character, it's uber humiliating. I couldn't bare watching her make a fool out of herself. It's too much...

I experienced unrequited love too, but doing what she have done is waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay too overboard. ~~I wouldn't do that even if it cost me being single all my life!~~ It's very degrading... I hate seeing women getting flustered over such---!! I know the guy is hawt. But--- just NO!

And I pity Bong---whatever his name is, the one who's practically following Oh Ha Ni everywhere she goes while making a fool out of himself too while Oh Ha Ni tries to ignore his existence ~~(until she said sorry (to herself) for doing that which was in episode 11 or is it 12?).~~ Dumb! Totally ~~sh*t~~. Sorry again, I didn't mean to say these things ~~but maybe these were practically triggering unwanted thoughts and reminded me of my foolishness before, I guess.~~ I just couldn't agree on how people turned into such piteous state while falling in love. Although I completely understand that -- since I've been on the same situation before, but, I just couldn't agree. Besides, I've promised myself not to make a fool of myself while trying to impress the guy I like. It's too much. Yep, maybe I just did became too jaded now. :P

Nonetheless, if the girl was not too much assuming and clingy towards Baek Seung Jo (Kim Hyun Joong) then I would really love it and watch it all the way. But because of my annoyance over too foolishness I just had to stop it or else I'll definitely gone mad. LOL

the images that I've used are not mine, just downloaded them from koreandrama(dot)org

kdrama?!

2012-01-14T02:27:00.000-08:00

Again, with all these introductions... i'm still not used on how to start a proper introduction, sometimes I wonder if all my introductions are sort of repetitive to the past posts, anyway, sorry. haha

then again, why bother, it's just a simple hobby of mine to express how I feel almost about everything. Yeah, I tend to write whenever I feel like it. This is how I express my feelings, rather than telling everyone about it (personally), I rather write it down and post it in my blog. That's the reason I wanna be a novelist too. But because of my certain lack of interest & procrastination, I've never had my enthusiasm back which made all of my recent ideas gone back being stalled. Sorry ideas, I don't have anything more to write about what will happen next and I hate cliche stuff so whenever I bump at those scenes I'll stop and then purposely hit the ESC button and goodbye...

'Nuf said. A wasteful introduction....AGAIN. LOL

So, here goes nothin'... so about the title, I'll be talking about Kdramas today which I rarely talk or watch! Guess what, I'm loving Kdramas today! that's a heck of a shock for me too! Although from the past I've watched Korean Dramas (which the pinpoint why I've submerged in Dramas anyway). First Drama that stole my heart was --- FULL HOUSE. I love almost everything about it -- I love Rain's character. I love the House. The story. The character. Even the OST. All, period.

But after full house, I've watched less drama after that. Although I've been watching local soap operas in tv whenever I have spare time or when I'm bonding with Family. That's just about it. But watching like a fangirl --- nope, there's never been a day I've actually finished all kdramas I've bought. Except -- Full House, Dae Jang Geum and Jumong. That's all I've finished and rewatched all over again for so many times.

So today, there's been an addition to that; and that's Heartstrings (You've Fallen for me). Although my interest in Kdrama will always be about Historical genre. I've never really wanted to watch romantic genre because of I'm not fond in cliche or tragic love stories but somehow Heartstrings been sort of "OK" to me. Although it's not that tragic like Winter Sonata and some of the 'Mistress' or "the other women" or "third party" type dramas I've seen on tv (and for some reason never had the guts to finish those). I find Heartstrings sort of light and pleasing to my heart, although there are times I wanna cry but not to the point that I'd turn off the TV (I have a habit of doing that -- I have greater empathy among almost everything, I could hurt easily and cry easily too). But heartstrings made me smile almost every time Lee Shin tries to seduce and make Lee Gyu Won skip her heart beat, hahaha. I've never really liked cliche stuff, it makes me puke (it's like am being naive if I'd adore such stuff). But I guess there are exemptions huh...

Maybe I'm really boring because I love boring stuff. To some people, medical/forensic/pychological dramas are bit boring and serious. But I love those stuff. because it's been my passion, I love psychology and forensics, and I love to learn so much so that's why I'm fond watching educative dramas/shows. I learn most when watching TV than reading books. Although, recently I love reading (not just manga anymore). So for me to finish all episode of Heartstring is such an accomplishment. When things go boring I skip all episode and watch the finale instead. So there, I know Heartstring's been popular and been one of top ten Kdramas in 2011, but if some of you haven't watched it, I recommend you to do so. Because I who rarely finish Kdramas had finished every episode of it. Enjoy ^_^

doodle

2012-01-11T05:02:00.000-08:00

while i was watching the Sekaiichi Hatsukoi Ova, there’s this scene wherein Takano or rather Saga-sempai was hugging Onodera, err I mean Oda in his room (makin’ love? *cough* *cough*) and then the thinking bulb appears over my head, and voila, someone whispered me, “hey!! draw something like this”.. at first I’ve drawn something Yaoi-ish but, oh well, it’s too common, so! I’ve replaced a kawaii bear instead~~ and so! this obra (masterpiece) came forth :)

masterchef

2012-01-11T01:34:00.000-08:00

in times like this, when I wonder what sort of topic i should be writing -- then suddenly, am totally BLANK.
While looking blankly (oh the irony) on the notepad, staring "blankly" again at the blinking cursor I remembered something I might discuss with.
First, that would be -- how on earth did I became obsessed with anything regards to food. Yes, you can simply tell by how I look like right now but let's leave it like that. I'm in no place to talk about health today or in the future. LOL

So, basically I'm an avid fan of Masterchef, but more on Australia. So yes! You've got it~ My topic would be nonetheless the people behind Masterchef! And on how they've been a great influence in my life as of today. As a matter of fact, they've been the reason why I'm not depressed on my situation, knowing I've already gave up on (some of) my dreams because simply it's impossible for me to reach it for now and knowing my situation, it's really depressing. Especially when it comes to financial.

So, yes. Even without special skills/talents in cooking nor have special sensory in my tongue or rather have a good palate. Although, with no direct relations with having a good palate, I must say, I myself is a picky eater, have a sweet tooth and almost eat everything with regards to anything sweet, I'm really picky about other foods, especially bitter ones. But that's not quite surprising knowing it might be because of genes, my Mother seemed to have issues with certain foods too.

Anyway, enough segue-waying, back to the topic, yes, Masterchef, I must thank our local cable for having Starworld available on our channel, I was able to watch a great show. I love Masterchef Australia. For some reasons, I've watched the US version of Masterchef, I also love it but I guess I'm not fond of it unlike Australian version. Maybe because of the contestants? I dunno. If you'd say, if its because of the chefs --- I'd definitely disagree, because I love the Chefs and I respect them so much. Especially Chef Gordon Ramsay, who happened to have the same birthday of my Mum's. If he's strict and noone seems to like his style, I'm different, maybe because I see him like my Mum's way of perfection and being really meticulous about almost everything. Well, if Chef Ramsay's been too lenient he wouldn't have reach that far. Although he gave F to the food, he really deserved to be respected because he only wish for the best and doesn't want laziness to come forth -- or hearing any complaints. So I guess, great people are prone of being misunderstood, that's a reality that's really hard to change, especially for those people who have crab mentality issues.

So there, that's one reason am not quite fond of Masterchef US, not because of the chefs but maybe because of the contestants. I like gutsy people but I'd rather see them cooking that seeing/watching them with such angsts towards another. I know that it's not a place to be friendly with rivals or be friendly with the chefs because yes it's indeed a competition but there's no need to bring all the Fs in every episode. And I hate to see those "soreloser" faces. You can practically tell what they're thinking by just looking at their proud faces. No offense. (BTW, I love watching Hell’s Kitchen)

I've watched the entire season 2 of Masterchef Australia, and, well, I've seen so far are so--- uhh, it's even hard to explain. Yes, I maybe too emotional. So what if I like deep friendship within co-competitors, no hard feelings whenever they've been kicked outta competition, never heard someone said Sh*t/F the entire season. And the Chefs, are just so lovable. Although I love all the judges in Masterchef Australia, I like George Calombaris much more. Like in the Junior Masterchef Edition Season 2 contestant Aya said, George is funny and well... he's just great. As a person, as a chef. Although, I never really seen him (yet) in person, but someday, I'm planning to visit his restaurants and taste every food on his menu.

Not only an avid fan of several international chefs, I also have a favorite chef in my own country too, am proud of him, I've watched most of his shows in GMA -- Idol sa Kusina. He's known as Chef Pablo 'Boy' Logro. He's not boring, he's funny and he's really good in everything he does so far. I like his favorite sfx, "bing bing bing" too.

Although a part of me wanted to become a Patissier like Chef Adriano Zumbo, I'm seeking ways on how to reach that path. For the time being, am stuck at nothingness, and still confused on which road shall I take, I'm still hopeful that someday, I can personally thank these people who gave inspiration to me --- and to my neverending passionate dream of becoming one of them. Be it a Chef, a Patissier or a Food Critic.

I myself wanted to build my own restaurant someday; I'd like pasta and anything with regards to Italian Cuisine. But if given a chance I wanted an Italian-Japanese-French restobar. That's one of my goals I wanna fulfill someday. Meeting great chefs, learning tips from them, tasting their foods and hearing their inspirational stories before they've reach the top --- before they've succeeded their journey to their dreams.

untitled

2012-01-09T08:23:00.001-08:00

Up to this moment I still haven't really grasp the thing I want most in life
No --- it's not about my passion, which will always be about Japan
This time it's entirely different, sort of...
It's like, a part of me knows about it, yet a part of me doesn't know about it.
It's partly unknown.

I've realized that what I've seen on TV is partly true -- okay, TRUE.
A certain character said, once time goes by and still you weren't able to realize your dream somehow you'll lose interest in it and most probably even change your perspective, even your goals in life too. Some part of it, I think it's true. Well, it's not that I've lost interest in Japan or the language itself but somehow, there's been something bothering me for quite awhile now.

I've realized that there's something I wanna do first -- and I wanna risk doing it too.
For now, that's something I strongly-- I wanna try. Trial and Error, I guess. For now, I'm gathering my thoughts, waiting for a sign.
Although, the signs are already there --- and I believe God has already planned this all along
I've asked him if it's okay to grab that opportunity -- partially I think HE already said YES.
'Cause if he didn't, I wouldn't have found it. It wouldn't be closer and I wouldn't be this enthusiastic.
Still, am waiting for yet another sign. It's better to wait patiently, than to grab things abruptly without thinking it over. Since I don't want any regrets this time.
Also because I strongly believe in Patience is a Virtue.

countdown --- turn over a new leaf

2011-12-31T07:11:00.000-08:00

it's time to let things go...
anger
grudge
angst
frustrations
bitterness
EVERYTHING.

It's time to face the new chapter of my LIFE--- starting with what's waiting ahead for me in 2012. I dunno exactly what's gonna happen to me the moment the new year comes,but one thing's for sure, I'll be more happier & optimistic unlike 2011.It's my year--- the year of the Dragons.

Basically, I'll just do my best in everything I'll do -- will do. I'll think less negative in my life -- and be positive for everything (but not to the point that I'm overpowering myself and become too proud, ofcourse) I'll eliminate all bad vibes -- especially people who only wish for my destruction..and most of all--- forget everything bad happened to me for the past few years and concentrate only on the good.

Will do everything I can to achieve my goals & dreams ( especially my happiness) without hurting others or being hurt by others too. Will focus more on myself though; which I haven't done since forever.

２０１２年に、すべての願ってた夢、叶えますように♪　幸せな生活を向かう！夢にときめけ！明日にきらめけ！めざせ日本・パリ（フランス）！！！！♪

blue screened of death... No! my harddrive just crashed!!

2011-12-25T04:26:00.001-08:00

So~ after deliberately striving for concrete reasons why my LT's sudden crash... I successfully found the reason why "operating system is not found"...

main reason: (because of the buzzing sound I've heard---) my Hard-drive crashed!!! T_T and maybe I have encountered the so-called "blue-screened of death" somehow (sh*t!) which the least ayokong maencounter sana...

But because of my over dependable memory of mine, I stubbornly refused to give up and constantly rebooted my LT for the hope I can fix it--- and it's too late when I realized--- hey! check the net for identical troubleshoot, and then there it goes "If your hard disk drive is emitting odd sounds such as clicking, scraping or grinding sounds, your best bet is to immediately turn your PC off. In most cases where actual noises are heard, this is critical, as your hard drive is likely damaging itself!"... and then it hit me--- "DAMN!" XD

anywho, i may not be able to retrieve my data anymore...*fingers crossed*... anywho... atleast I don't have to worry buying a brand-new-laptop worth of Motherboard... *sigh*. If my harddrive dies---then... what choice do I have---buy a new one! Atleast, it's not as expensive as a Motherboard would. :P

Unnecessary Doubts

2011-12-24T22:54:00.000-08:00

Posted on Thursday, 15 December 2011 at 01:30

voila, the moment I've sent her a message--- there she goes again.
I promised myself not to read anymore of her blasted text messages but then again, I can't help myself and peeked. But of course, it lasted 2 seconds and there it goes--- into the bin.

I don't quite understand why some people doesn't even know how to stop. Bloody hell. In any case, isn't it hard to-- simply do what you want? To do something that pleases you? To decide for what you really deserve and not just because Daddy wants it. Is that really hard to absorb? I mean, what the heck is wrong with you? You're already in a legal age, graduated a bachelor's degree for pete's sake, yet--- you still need someone's damn advice or rather whine about every blasted miseries you've encountered each day. Can't you do something about it on your own? You still need your daddy to support you? I mean, yeah sure, as long as daddy wants it, that's fine by me. Who cares about my opinion. Yeah, I get it. But pester someone else about it. Since, it's your f*cking choice. *smiley inserted*

Don't count on me bébé, because I have problems on my own which I have to solve--- of course, on my own. And I don't need anymore of that rubbish to burden moi. This is giving me alot of headache and I'm not very pleased. I've regretted that I've ever texted you again--- for what--- a simple greeting.

I can't help myself get infuriated by these "matters"? whatever its called. It's just, I don't have someone to turn to when it comes to complaint; simply because I have only few who can really understand my situation and most of them are inadequate. SO, I chose not to ask for their opinion and follow my instinct instead. People, as we know, are only thinking about themselves--- or if they do care--- that's when they're really crazy about them--- nonetheless--- you can't rely on them (on stuff that has nothing to do with them). Because no matter what, people only think of themselves--- in short--- we are all selfish. No matter how we try to deny it, we are all that. Anywho, according to Orson Welles: "We're born alone, we live alone, we die alone. Only through our love and friendship can we create the illusion for the moment that we're not alone". Bear that in mind and constantly remind yourself that no one can help you but yourself. :)

PS
BTW, am not saying that you can't ask your Daddy for support/advice or whatever it is you needed--- but if you're gonna complain about stuff that, "I don't have a choice, do I?" or "I really wanna quit this job but my Dad wants me to continue" thingy. And just let them rule your life then--- that's absurd. I understand that we might not have all the power to choose what we wanna do with our lives but if you're thinking because someone's stopping you for doing what you want especially when there's a possibility you can refuse it, then that's kinda --- complicated. Start deciding what's best for you---you might lose it forever---the chance to be "YOU" and then you'll forever be binded by the laws that your Father created. Mind you, we do have a choice and it's up to us and not because of what others dictate us--- whether we like it or not, that's how it is. We just have to face it; not runaway from it. I've learned that, the hard way.

literature?

2011-12-24T22:39:00.000-08:00

Nah--- impossible.
I do read alot, in some way, reading was not even my forte before but recently I'm thirsty of knowledge. For some reason, while thinking about the past and some fools I no longer needed, I accidentally created a poem---or whatever you may call it... it seems from this very poem, it consists angst, wrath and anguish. Possibly, I still have wrath deep within me that hasn't (yet) been settled. For I hated being betrayed on.

I who traveled the seven seas
I who conquered the world
I who stumbled a great loss
I shall perish all who defy me

In the midst of anger
In the midst of betrayal
I shall punish thee

For I was once a pauper
Now will rise as King

Deliver vengeance
Deliver Justice
Bring Chaos to all Nations
Bring Wrath to all who shed blood
For it will be the end of it all...

I can only conclude that deep within my unconscious mind lies a poisonous wrath that's lurking inside... I can only hope for the better that this will not remain long. For once a poison ruins in your veins, it can be harmful either way.

changes

2011-12-02T20:56:00.001-08:00

Changes, a verb that means 'not constant'... either way that's how I put it if someone ever tries to ask me what its meaning. I'm not quite fond of change btw -- but, I guess it's not that bad either; a little change can be good especially if one is aiming a balanced and healthy good environment.

a lot has changed since then, especially when I was about to go to college. I was once a dreamless girl who just wants to have a decent job, simply go on with life without any goals and just be contented and happy of what I already have. Nonetheless, that's just a part of my seemingly irremovable habit of procrastination.

But ever since I transferred and faced a high-competitive class of people, of course I was forced to change my ideals and became one of them. I competed and somehow achieved something I can be proud of. For once, I was a simple-minded person who just wants a simple life without hardships. But now, I guess, I no longer have that trait. I intend achieving every bits of my goals, even if it cost me everything I have. Of course, I'm afraid --- who isn't? Especially if you're in a place where you ain't very familiar with. A place where no acquaintances exist to help you if you ever needed help. Okay, I lied. But somehow, I want to put it that way so that I can't resort on asking anyone for help or simply saying I don't want to depend on anyone at that point of my life.

I've always been too dependent of the people around me which makes them hate me of some sort. After being thrown by the dump I guess it's really hard to depend on people nowadays --- even trust. Even I who can't throw a fake smile before seemed too easy nowadays. Simply, because I've stop caring.

But that doesn't mean I've become anti-social --- schizoid or whatever... it's just, I decided to prioritize myself more than any other. Love yourself is quite a priority one to me, since I never really love myself before. So, to those who ever made me realize my worth --- I'm very grateful. Seriously, I am. My mother said, people do come and go; some friends stay, some don't. For once, I hated being left alone. But now, I guess am quite used to it. Besides, I'd rather be by myself than to have someone who needs guidance as if it were a child. It's a pain in the ass, especially when the only thing they need to do is decide what they want to eat in a fast food chain.

So, being left alone is not that bad besides it's not my loss either, actually, I've gained something --- which is self-respect. At first, it's hard but eventually you'll get used to it. On that point, it made me realize that change can be a bittersweet moment; it can actually be a turning point of your life in which, uhh, can make you strong and decide for your own accord and not because someone's telling you what to do or should do --- even burden you of something irrelevant.Now, am on the verge of choosing Path A towards Path B. But either way, choosing one would eventually change everything. But atleast I have someone who supports me all the way without pulling me down. For now, all I have to do is hope that everything will workout as planned.