Revenge Of The 80s Kids

Metasode 7 - One Of Us Doesn't Like Movies Any More

eightiesrevenge@gmail.com (The Eighties Kids) — Fri, 31 Dec 2021 15:00:00 GMT

That's it then. Season done. 2021 done.

I think we were hoping to be going out on slightly more of a high in this episode. Geek Towers is a thing, our new format is great, we've got our heads around the new tech. We have battled and emerged victorious. Surely we should celebrate? 2022 looks like it could hold a real re-surgence for the 80s Kids, and indeed it could, but there will be some shocking twists and turns in the evolution of the 80s Kids to make this happen.

For now, Leo and Ian turn their own view in a different direction. They've been around the "new content" blocks enough times to understand that when they do something new for the folks at home then it has to stick within some fairly rigid existing rules. But is it time to bend some of those rules to breaking point? Very probably. It's going to be an interesting new year people.

This week's episode features bedding music Continuum Filter by Data Rebel. The track is licensed under a creative commons non-commercial attribution-based licence. Follow the link for more information.

Direct Link: hhttps://archive.org/download/metasode-007-one-of-us-doesnt-like-movies/Metasode-007-One-Of-Us-Doesnt-Like-Movies.mp3

Episode 143: Netflix Is Screwed

eightiesrevenge@gmail.com (The Eighties Kids) — Fri, 24 Dec 2021 15:00:00 GMT

I mean this one's a no-brainer, surely?

The streaming juggernaut that is Disney+ rumbled onto instant global domination in March 2020 and since then it has wound it's content production up to deliver a series of high-profile body blows to the competition in the form of desirable franchise goodies dripping with loving care and high production values. The pace doesn't seem to be dropping, no, indeed, it's picking up. Everyone should be worried.

Actually the two parties who should be worried in particular are the UK's Now TV whose content delivery potential has been stripped back severely losing primary delivery of Disney and Fox content libraries and, of course, Netflix who are now trying to carve out a brand that offers counter-programming to Disney's slate of super-popular franchise fare and edgy drama (on Hulu in the States and inside the Star section of D+ elsewhere). We haven't forgotten Prime Instant Video but Amazon delivers content as an after thought, not as a primary goal, so it seems. Of all these, then, Netflix seems like the one that's in most trouble, Now TV is just an offshoot of a satellite TV provider, Amazon couldn't really care less but Netflix, it has to fight for it's very identity and it can't just be a constant diet of Squid Game, can it?

This week's episode features an excerpt of Lo-Moments by Skipless and bedding music Moon Forest (threads version) by 4T Thieves. Both are licensed under a creative commons non-commercial attribution-based licence. Follow links for more information.

Direct Link: https://archive.org/download/143-netflix-is-screwed/143-Netflix-is-Screwed.mp3

Episode 142: Hi-Definitely A Weird Time For Home Media

eightiesrevenge@gmail.com (The Eighties Kids) — Fri, 17 Dec 2021 15:00:00 GMT

It's way too early for new year's resolutions. That's a fact. But it is in no way too early for home entertainment resolutions, specifically 480p, 576p, 1080p and 4K.

This week's show is all about the fact that we find ourselves in a world where home entertainment is available in a number of different flavours, DVD, Blu-Ray and UHD for physical, and then the digital counterparts. Marketing will tell you that you always want the 4K version of everything, after it got done telling you DVD was over and everything had to be in Blu-Ray 1080p

To borrow a popular Thor meme

This week the Kids from the 80s assert that Just Like Heaven and the Lego Movie are never going to be better than they are at 576p (which is great but more definition does nothing to improve matters), Big Trouble In Little China and 12 Monkeys definitely look better at 1080p and 4K, well that seems to be a gimmick for Denis Villeneuve movies. Let's not even hunker down and consider how the definition of what even is 1080p varies wildly between a lovingly crafted prestige Blu-Ray and a cheeky Netflix stream, actually no, let's for a second. It's techie week on the 80s Kids and things have never been clearer, or sharper.

This week's episode features an excerpt of Speak Easy by DarkSunn and bedding music Lost in dam central vs Exist by Planet Boelex vs Data Rebel. Both are licensed under a creative commons non-commercial attribution-based licence. Follow links for more information.

Direct Link: https://archive.org/download/142-hi-def-initely-a-weird-time-for-home-media/142%20-%20Hi%20Def-initely%20A%20Weird%20Time%20For%20Home%20Media.mp3

Episode 141: Escape From 2013

eightiesrevenge@gmail.com (The Eighties Kids) — Fri, 10 Dec 2021 15:00:00 GMT

Sometimes, from the ashes of disaster rises a Phoenix of Wonder...

Then, sometimes we lose the recording of an entire show and have to come up with something to re-cover the same ground and then Leo gets over-excited and goes off on a tangent. Welcome to Choose Your Own 2013

Within this show those sunny days of the early teenies have been re-formed into a piece of interactive fiction and Ian picks his way carefully through the tricks and traps, all the while trying to work out what films have been referenced along the way. Welcome to 2013 the Adventure Game.

This week's episode features an excerpt of The Andromeda Strain by 2 Bone Giants and bedding music Pherek kyson by MigloJE. Both are licensed under a creative commons non-commercial attribution-based licence. Follow links for more information.

Direct Link: https://archive.org/download/141-escape-from-2013/141-Escape-From-2013.mp3

Episode 140: 2013 - It's Absolutely Super (Top 10)

eightiesrevenge@gmail.com (The Eighties Kids) — Fri, 3 Dec 2021 15:00:00 GMT

And Lo, the circle was complete. The Kids from the 80s form an ourobouros this year as they consider the top 10 movies from the year 2013, among other things that drift into our field of view.

We are blessed, on the one hand, by the presence of Mr Mike Nudd this week, who is on hand to offer his opinions on that all important 2013 top 10. As we are blessed, however, so are we also cursed upon the other hand for we only had to strong arm a guest appearance because we actually recorded the whole show once and then, like idiots, failed to download the recording in time.

Even so, we manage to give the Top 10 of 2013 a thorough kicking in this episode, from Hunger Games to Minion filled animations to Superhero movies galore, we run down the hit parade and marvel that Fast and the Furious 6 was in even as we marvel that Star Trek Into Khanness was out. There's not a lot to surprise here and still fewer giant mechs lamping seven bells out of kaiju and, honestly, that still smarts to this day.

This week's episode features an excerpt of Innereyefull - Back Then and bedding music XHD by Aydio. Both are licensed under a creative commons non-commercial attribution-based licence. Follow links for more information.

Direct Link: https://archive.org/download/140-2013-top-10/140-2013-Top-10.mp3

Episode 139: I'll Just Stop At Home Thanks

eightiesrevenge@gmail.com (The Eighties Kids) — Fri, 26 Nov 2021 15:00:00 GMT

Following on from last week's Autopsy on all things 2020 we turn to the obvious question. If all the cinemas were shut what did your average cinephile do for entertainment whilst locked up in their homes for several months waiting for an end to the global pandemic?

In Ian's case the answer is "not watch much on telly". In Leo's case the answer is: watch a bunch of stuff that was hurled in our general direction as a way of keeping us distracted as the world collapsed outside the window. So, different approaches, very different. But the underlying question is what did all the streaming services actually do with this literally captive audience? What was strewn before us to while away the long hours? How did the movers and shakers entice the idle and bored into their gardens of content?

It may not surprise you to learn that the answer is... virtually nothing. As you shall discover, not one of these companies really had the muscle to throw out something seriously arresting, compelling and noteworthy during this time. I guess you just don't have to work as hard when you've got no competition. Oh, well, sigh... best wait on for the cinemas to opern up again.

This week's episode features an excerpt of Ego Trippin' by Lo-Fi Scientists and bedding music Mystical Forces by Citizen Crane. Both are licensed under a creative commons non-commercial attribution-based licence. Follow links for more information.

Direct Link: https://archive.org/download/139-will-just-stop-at-home-thanks/139-will-just-stop-at-home-thanks.mp3

Episode 138: 2020 - The Autopsy

eightiesrevenge@gmail.com (The Eighties Kids) — Fri, 19 Nov 2021 14:54:00 GMT

AUDIO QUALITY WARNING: We were using a platform, since abandoned for precisely this and other technical niggles, that, unfortunately, made Ian sound like he was addressing us from the body of a large an empty church (I, Leo, am assuming it was a technical error and not something I need to stage an intervention for). So, sorry about that folks. Honestly, if we'd have screwed up like this on a topic show we probably would have re-recorded. But the autopsy relies on a certain amount of live reaction from the Ian, so we have had to issue as is. We have totally fixed this audio issue in all the rest of the shows in this season.

Now, on to the show. 2020, that was a bit of a shock, wasn't it. We recorded a prediction show in Fedbruary and by April it was all moot. But that is not the end of the story. All the films we talked about, slated for release, existed. They had been filmed, they were ready to go. Marvel's Black Widow wasn't just going to disappear into the infinite, it was going to see the light of day at some point. Similarly DC's Wonder Woman. Similarly Fast & Furious 9 and so to the autopsy.

We examine the fate of those movies which we predicted for in Feb 2020, a different world. Have the films been released? Where were they released? How much money did they pull in when they did get released? And obviously, what does all of that mean for the future of cinema in our mixed up, disease-riddled world of today? We don't have answers but suffice to say we're retiring the predictions format for a bit.

This week's episode features an excerpt of Swag Rag by Riff Kitten and bedding music Everybody Has Another Life by Fodor Balazs. Both are licensed under a creative commons non-commercial attribution-based licence. Follow links for more information.

Direct Link: https://archive.org/download/episode-138-2020-autopsy/Episode%20138%20-%202020%20Autopsy.mp3

Metasode 6 - The Show They Couldn't Cancel

eightiesrevenge@gmail.com (The Eighties Kids) — Fri, 12 Nov 2021 16:52:00 GMT

Emerging once more, blinking into the daylight you'd think these things would get easier for the kids from the 80s, but that isn't the case in reality. Fatigued and battered from the global lockdown Leo and Ian have emerged with vastly different takes on the whole experience.

Leo, for example, has decided to put classic Revenge shows in a rotator and fire up a 24/7 internet radio station. Ian, has been playing video games and trying not to think about it all too much. It wouldn't have surprised us if the pandemic had finally killed the cast. After all, it has effectively killed, or at least put on brakes, for our most exciting format the summer review and follow up. This season we're going to have to reflect on this stuff before we can go forward into the future.

There will be reflection on the season ahead, a quick precis of what's to come, some technical niggles and the unfortunate technical fall out that one of us or other might end up sounding like the booming voice of good in the first two episodes before we sort it all out. So, just an average day for the kids, then? Yeah, pretty much.

Direct Link: https://archive.org/download/metasode-2-geeks-in-search-of-a-tower/Metasode_%202%20Geeks%20In%20Search%20of%20a%20Tower.mp3

Metasode 5 - The Hotel For Elephants (Archive Material)

eightiesrevenge@gmail.com (The Eighties Kids) — Fri, 1 Oct 2021 17:00:00 +0100

Way back in the dim and distant days of Summer 2020 the 80s Kids decided to maximise their use of lockdown by recording this one 50 minute metasode and then not editing it until lockdown restrictions were largely lifted. You'd have thought that they could use their time with everyone holed up indoors to work on their community building or whatnot, but no, they just holed up with video games and Netflix and waited for everyone to be too busy to require an excess of free entertainment again.

So, what's even in the Hotel for Elephants? Well, let's just say the number of guests it had at the time of recording has only grown. There's a lot of big talk in here about backing away from the cast and using our time more productively. And did we do any of it? Well, not in any way like we say we're planning to in the cast, that's for sure.

So, really, this is just a moment captured, of where our heads were at after a couple of months of lockdown, when we dreamed medium-sized and ended up achieving little of what we set out to do for many and various reasons but mostly because remote collaboration is pretty hard.

This episode uses an excerpt of the Anchor Hill's immense world beat banger "Shake Off the Shackles". The full track can be downloaded here.

Direct Link: https://archive.org/download/metasode-005-hotel-for-elephants/Metasode%20005%20-%20Hotel%20For%20Elephants.mp3/a>

Episode 137: Summer Predictions 2020 - 00PS: No Time To Release

eightiesrevenge@gmail.com (The Eighties Kids) — Thu, 12 Mar 2020 13:00:00 GMT

The title of the show takes a cheap shot at the non-appearance of Bond this April. He's self-isolating from audiences for seven months with a case of Crowdplease Failure Virus (COFAIL-007). The reason for this extensive barrage of text punnage is that when we recorded the show on Feb 15th we thought Bond was a lot of things, tired, over-the-hill, on his last legs but a coward? No, sir, not one of them. Oh, how times have changed.

Bond requesting a covert extraction aside the prophecy mill is in full swing as our jaunty adventurers pilot a course from damp aliens, via Jungle Rocks, through the blancmange swamp littered with recently Disney-fied Fox back-catalogue items. Now with added budgetary estimates, will their speculation on how much things cost (or knowledge of where applicable) help or hinder their quest to pick 2020's box office winners and notable losers?

It's a tricky year, Marvel are taking a year off, Disney are trying to wrong-foot the oppostion by littering the battlefield with items they found in a lock-up garage formerly owned by Fox. Only one thing's for certain, Fast & Furious 9 is bound to cash in... after that, well, you'd need to be able to predict the future...

This episode uses an excerpt of the Anchor Hill's unreasonably groovy "Funk Cabbage". The full track can be downloaded here.

Direct Link: https://archive.org/download/137summerpredictions2020/137%20-%20Summer%20Predictions%202020.mp3

Episode 136: Why in the Spiderverse is genre so HARD?

eightiesrevenge@gmail.com (The Eighties Kids) — Thu, 28 Nov 2019 12:00:00 GMT

In the beginning was Superman, and shortly thereafter Tim Burton's Batman. Marvel characters had no movies and the fanboys went without. And Fox brought forth X-Men. And Hugh Jackman probably didn't know how many times he would be called upon to play Wolverine, but the audience loved it, and so the studios saw that it was good. Shortly thereafter Sony brought forth the first Spider-man, Raimi's Spider-man, and, despite being a little bit creepy, generally, he too was deemed to be a good.

Sony returned to the Spider-man well twice more, but on the third occasion the well of lucre was poisoned with unnecessary Venom, and the audience did feel that Spider-man 3 was bloated and now Spidey himself was just creepy, and even the Sandman and Hobgoblin could not save the movie from being underwhelming in the extreme. And Raimi did wander in the desert until making Drag Me To Hell, which was more his cup of tea.

A very short time following Spider-man 3 Sony attempted to refresh the well. "Lo!" they said unto the audience. "Look thou upon new Spider-man, for he is Amazing!" And the audience did look upon the tall and handsome face of new Spider-man and did say: "Well, maybe not Amazing, but Adequate, definitely." And Sony spake thus: "We cannot call a movie franchise 'The Adequate Spider-man', so we will stick with Amazing."

And Sony returned again to the well of lucre, but they did see in the next land that Marvel's well of lucre brought forth the wonders of yon "Cinematic Universe" and they were sore with envy. So when the Adequate... sorry, Amazing Spider-man 2 came forth from Sony's well of lucre it was tainted with envy and mutated by the worn stubs of a failed "Cinematic Universe".

Thus did Sony come to Marvel and propose a deal. They offered to return Spider-man (who was just on indefinite loan from Marvel) on a limited basis if they would bless the Spider-man with the water of the "Cinematic Universe". And Marvel did work out the deal with Sony, and they plunged a newly minted Spider-man into a Civil War between the mid-ranking officer of the Americas and the man forged of Iron. The audience did see it and were now Amazed. And Sony and Marvel did turn to the audience and spake thus: "No, this Spider-man is NOT Amazing, he is just Spider-man" and the audience did say: "Well, if you're sure." At home later the audience did in secret speak thusly: "I am confident this Spider-man is more Amazing than the last one."

And Spider-man did have his own movie in Marvel's "Cinematic Universe" which they did call "Homecoming" and Sony gritted their teeth, for the well of lucre did flow. And Spider-man partook in the Infinity War and survived the Endgame of those who Avenge, finally he found himself "Far From Home" and the well of lucre was bountiful for both Marvel and Sony.

But Sony, once more overconfident and partaking of the iffy Venom, did snatch back the Spider-man. Marvel offered unto Sony a couple of possible deals but Sony declared them to be not good enough. The fandom saw this sundering of the "Cinematic Universe" and there was wailing, and gnashing of teeth.

But Sony did not immediately back down. They spoke to the people and said: "Did we not deliver an averagely good Venom movie? And did we not also deliver unto thee 'Into The Spiderverse' which was much better than anyone expected?" And the people did accept this, but they did not wholly believe Sony could pull this off and they were sore afraid that the next Spider-man movie would be a big pile of poo.

Lo! Marvel did offer another bag of money unto Sony, and they also passed secrets amongst themselves. And suddenly Spider-man was back in the "Cinematic Universe" and some people were even a bit disappointed because they had wanted to see what Sony would do.

The stout ones, those Kids from the 80s watched upon all of this and shook their ancient heads. "Spider-man should literally be a license to print money," spake Ian. "I know." spake Leo. "People trivialise genre, but it is a lot harder and more complicated than it looks."

And Martin Scorsese said nothing further.

This episode uses an excerpt of Bongo Avenger by Eric & Ryan Kilkenny

Direct Link: https://archive.org/download/136whyinthespiderverseisgenresohard/136-Why-in-the-Spiderverse-is-genre-so-HARD.mp3

Episode 135: Batman Is Screwed

eightiesrevenge@gmail.com (The Eighties Kids) — Thu, 21 Nov 2019 12:00:00 GMT

When this episode was just a glint in the eye of the 80s kids we were aware that the "Joker" movie existed and that there was some "buzz" associated with the property. When we recorded the episode Joker was still a couple of months from general release. So, that will explain why we miss the opportunity of discussing how irrelevant Batman has become to Batman related properties.

After the Dark Knight rose we, of course, got Batman vs Superman: Dawn of Irrelevance, a guest spot in Suicide Squad, and then, inexorably we went towards "Justice League". Ben Affleck got the filthy end of that particular stick and no mistake whatsoever. Suicide Squad, in fact, represents the last time to date that a movie has actively tried to pull eyeballs by mentioning the presence of one caped crusader.

Of course, there's the Lego Batman movie... but does that really help? Add into the mix the presence of a non-verbal Bats in Teen Titans Go To The Movies and the proud absence of bat iconography emblazoned upon the face of popular TV epic Gotham and a pattern begins to emerge.

You thought, no doubt, that Batman was waiting in the shadows, ready to strike at any time. Now you're beginning to suspect that those shadows are bat free and you're locked up all alone with the cowled one's gallery of sociopathic opposition. Who will save you? The 80s Kids? Nah, mate, we're just here to discuss matters and confirm that you, like Batman, are probably screwed.

This episode uses an excerpt of Chant Of Night Blades by Kai Engel

Direct Link: https://archive.org/download/135batmanisscrewed/135-Batman-Is-Screwed.mp3

Episode 134: 2012 - The Cabin of Looping Dredd

eightiesrevenge@gmail.com (The Eighties Kids) — Thu, 14 Nov 2019 12:00:00 GMT

The idea of the "Part 2" year shows, in what is still referred to as the "new format" even though we've been rocking it for two years and three seasons, is to look at key movies in that year and say: "Hey, there was some definite 80s influence there". And in 2012 we have a couple of proud examples of how that 80s mood was embraced and reflected upon 22 years after the 80s closed its doors and slung us all into the neon-lit, over-excited street carnival of the 90s.

And once we've mopped the rose-tinted tears of joy from our eyes over fascist future cops and ironic cabin zombies we can begin to cry a different way, because we then get to talk about Looper. Don't misunderstand, we know that many people really love Looper and think it's clever and amazing. Leo and Ian are not two of those people.

Indeed the glee with which Ian embraces the idea of working over a Rian Johnson movie is, maybe, a little unseemly. As his steel-toe capped commentary heaps in on the mishy-mashy time travel drivel you can hear him repeatedly whispering: "This is for Luke, you barstool." Or something like that.

Leo has less skin in that game but still, has to agree, a master storyteller Mr. Johnson ain't, and having now sat through the Levitt-Willis funtime shotgun hour (and a half) twice in order to confirm exactly how much he disliked it he's not letting it go this time. Anyway, the question may occur, why watch Looper and talk about it if you don't like it. Well, it where's it's wannabe Philip K Dick creds like some kind of badge of honour, when really it just reminds you how good Blade Runner etc. really were in comparison. Loops? Where we're going we don't like loops. Let us count the ways.

This episode uses an excerpt of Electrodomestico by The Coconut Monkeyrocket

Direct Link: https://archive.org/download/1342012thecabinofloopingdredd/134-2012-the-cabin-of-looping-dredd.mp3

Episode 133: 2012 Top Ten - Avengers Bane That Fell From The Sky

eightiesrevenge@gmail.com (The Eighties Kids) — Thu, 7 Nov 2019 12:00:00 GMT

There are two ways to look at the Top 10 movies of 2012 for franchise fans there was a total buffet of above-par iterations of their absolute faves. The first big-screen MCU crossover event dominated, of course, but then the Anniversary Bond was snapping at its heels with the Dark Knight rising to put in a creditable third helping before the DCCU well... you know.

Then there's the rest of the list... The Hobbit, lumpy and grumpy and overstuffed. Ice Age and Madagascar for the kids, isn't that tantamount to neglect? The Twilight franchise delighted millions around the world, by ending. Spider-man was maybe just a touch too Amazing. There were 3 Men In Black, although two of them were the same and there was some timey-wimey stuff and well, then everyone fell asleep, by themselves, not because of some weird flashlight. Although, I have to say I still wonder if MiB3 was just a hallucination brought on by a gas leak.

Nestled in amongst this volley of re-boots, crossovers, sequels, warmed-over-bull-doody and completely unnecessary and unwanted disappointments was the upstart Hunger Games franchise opener. It was a time when many people could legitimately say they wanted to rock up to a movie about kids given weapons and told to jolly well murder one another and still say "What the hell's that" when you offer to put on Battle Royale.

2012, with a few notable exceptions, was a bit of a hot mess at the top end, but, at the same time, it was a glorious year for cinema. No wonder people were too confused to make Dredd the box office success it should have been. More on which next week...

This episode uses an excerpt of Raindrops by Predator Technique

Direct Link: https://archive.org/download/1332012top10avengersbanethatfellfromthesky/133-2012-Top-10-Avengers-Bane-That-Fell-From-The-Sky.mp3

Episode 132: There's Something Whiffy About Skiffy

eightiesrevenge@gmail.com (The Eighties Kids) — Thu, 31 Oct 2019 12:30:00 GMT

We're unsure which of the multiple dismal Netflix Original SF movies pushed this button, but their roster of misfires definitely made the penny drop. The outburst goes something along the lines of: "Oh come on! What are they even doing, this isn't proper Science Fiction like The Matrix, or 2001, what are they trying to achieve?". Then, of course, you think: "Mind you, 2001 is a bit... slow. But The Matrix? Ah, there's the stuff. Good old Matrix. Sequels drifted a bit of course, but, still, The Matrix. And Predestination. That's a good one, although time travel... isn't that technically more a sort of philosophical fantasy?"

That's where it starts to unravel, Pi? Mathematical fantasy. Cube? Kafka-esque social commentary. Primer? More time-travel whimsy. What movie is *really* pure science fiction. Of course, in both The Matrix and 2001 we have AI and we don't really know how that would work, but we have more of an idea than time-travel. How does paradox work? No one knows, and no-one in our lifetime is ever likely to know.

Eventually, you have to entertain the possibility that SF and film will never have the same happy relationship as, say, spy thrillers and film, or romance and film, or high fantasy and film, or, of course, superheroes and film. The fact is Science Fiction is like an ingredient to a story in some other genre rather than a happy genre by itself. Core SF texts don't really care about character as much as they do ideas, and film needs characters in order to live and breathe.

If you can have a spoiler for a discussion then watch out, because we come up with precisely zero answers for this proposition but we do give it a bit of a kicking. Whether we come back to the topic is down to whether anyone cares to opine whether we're "Wrong on the Internet" about this one. Time will tell, but SF is never going to be happy at the movies. Change our minds.

This episode uses excerpts of User Friendly by Lee Rosevere

Direct Link: https://archive.org/download/episode132somethingwhiffyaboutskiffy/Episode%20132%20-%20Something%20Whiffy%20About%20Skiffy.mp3

Episode 131: Tales of the Fandom Chin - A Bruce Campbell Retrospective

eightiesrevenge@gmail.com (The Eighties Kids) — Thu, 24 Oct 2019 12:55:00 +0100

You found the battered VHS tape in a trunk stored in the cabin's basement. There was a lock on the clasp but the lid had rotted allowing you access to the variety of mouldy junk within.

With shaking fingers you reach out to push the tape's spine into the old VCR, you feel the smooth raised surface of the word "GROOVY" written in office white-out along the space where a label should be. The tape begins...

"Hi, I'm Leo and this is Ian and we have been researching urban legends, specifically this one about the so-called 'Hero From The Sky'. The legend relates that if you say the words 'Chuck Finley' into a mirror three times a man in leather pants with a dubious beard will come to your house and crash on your sofa for a week..."

You have heard the legend yourself, but you've never been brave enough to so much as whisper the name of the unspeakable god of B-Movie schlock. What would happen should you succeed? What if he arrives in his other guise as OAP Elvis? What if he likes your place so much he parks a trailer on your front lawn and fills your attic with dead-ites?

Sure, you're a fan, but are you really THAT much of a fan?

This episode uses excerpts of Town Braggart by John Bartmann

Direct Link: https://archive.org/download/131talesofthefandomchinabrucecampbellretrospective/131%20-%20Tales%20of%20the%20Fandom%20Chin%20-%20A%20Bruce%20Campbell%20Retrospective.mp3

Episode 130: Summer Review 2019 - Correction Disney Wins Again

eightiesrevenge@gmail.com (The Eighties Kids) — Thu, 17 Oct 2019 13:49:00 +0100

As inevitable as the mighty finger-snap of Thanos the summer could only really belong to one mighty movie, and sure enough that was it. But, for the parent of that box-office juggernaut, Avengers Endgame, taking home the 1st place prize wasn't nearly enough. Indeed, even we were surprised by the absolute bucket load of cash the mouse has managed this summer.

Outside of Scrooge McDuck's money bin it's been a rum old summer and no mistake. Virtually no action movies, way too many family movies, so much content that had release dates planned in February was bounced to later dates. If you were in the US movie business and your studio name didn't rhyme with Biz Knee then you weren't getting a big bite of the box office this summer, to be fair, it didn't even look as though you were really trying.

The big question is not what happened but what does what happened actually mean for the future. People have been prophesying a disney-fied dystopia in the multiplexes and we're a couple of summers away from that being the world we live in. But is a dystopia filled with lovingly crafter Marvel movies, affectionately made Pixar animations and, er, endless live-action do overs of beloved classic animations really such a bad thing... Okay, maybe the last one could stand some work but, hey, nobody's perfect. Come and discover the monetary implications of the coming cinematic world and, like us, you will be amazed.

This episode uses an excerpt of the Coconut Monkeyrocket's supberb "Illogical Boogie". The full track can be downloaded here.

Direct Link: https://archive.org/download/1302019summerreviewdisneywins/130-2019-Summer-Review-Disney-Wins.mp3

Metasode 4: Time For The Big Push!

eightiesrevenge@gmail.com (The Eighties Kids) — Thu, 10 Oct 2019 14:23:00 +0100

So, here we are, several months later and a season of content wiser. You haven't heard that, of course, but you're about to.

We stand at a great crossroads, confident that we have done all we can to tie down the format and present something that gives food for thought. We are, I think it is fair to say, proud of this season of content. Not that we aren't proud of Rot80sK's back catalogue and the great work it represents. The upcoming season is, if anything, a consolidation of everything we have been accidentally into something purposeful. Only one question remains, do the listeners like it?

Revenge of the 80s Kids was always something we did for fun, and it kind of still is. The big split is whether we do something else for fun or if the Revenge audience can add that dash of special sauce that keeps us rolling into the future. We'd like to do more Revenge, but not on the current "howling into the void" model. If that's all that's on offer we may well do something else instead.

What would that be? Well, we have some ideas. We've tried to pull something together whilst simultaneously committing to regular seasons of Revenge, that hasn't worked. It may be that we need to put Revenge on hiatus to get something else done. Everything is in the hands of you, the audience at this stage. Further explanation, and a full preview of the upcoming season in the metasode...

Direct Link: https://archive.org/download/rot80skmetasode/Rot80sK%20-%20Metasode.mp3

Metasode 3: How We Are Not Critics And What We're Going To Do About It - Part One

eightiesrevenge@gmail.com (The Eighties Kids) — Thu, 21 Mar 2019 15:00:00 GMT

Welcome, welcome, friends, and thank you for stopping by.

You find the Kids from the 80s in reflective mood, for, hark, 'tis another Metasode, i.e. not an episode but, rather, a show ABOUT the show. We like to keep our navel gazing compartmentalized away from the main strand. This is so you can skip it if you only came here for the show and not to hear us waffle on about what we're planning or thinking about the show itself.

On this occasion, however, we would urge you ON NO ACCOUNT SKIP THIS EPISODE, or its companion, due out at some point after all the fuss about Europe has died down in Leo's neck of the woods. For, you see, we come to begin contemplating the very nature of the show itself in this two parter.

As we begin we lament the lack of interaction we have with listeners. We opine that maybe our content production focus should change to accomodate a new form of 80s kids content. Nostalgia for the 80s is fine and all, but as we have discovered, it doesn't appear to draw people in. So, we've considered what we might like our audience to be, as we have no idea. In this show we outline our plan for the content for the rest of the year in "vague mode". In part two we will inform you of the menu of delights that will form up the remainder of the content for 2019.

In the meanwhile, why not check out our social media page on facebook, if you haven't already. Interim updates will be coming via that medium for the time being. If you get involved it might even chivvy Leo and Ian into action and get that sweet, sweet content piped to your earholes even sooner.

This episode uses excerpts of Prazdniny (Vacation) by John Bartmann

Direct Link: https://archive.org/download/M003HowWeReNotCriticsPartOne/M-003-How-We_re-Not-Critics-Part-One.mp3

Episode 129: The Superheroes Win Again - Summer Predictions 2019

eightiesrevenge@gmail.com (The Eighties Kids) — Thu, 7 Mar 2019 13:00:00 GMT

We are the 80s Kids and we predict the future.

It's that time again. Summer is upon us, has been since early Feb according to the studios, and the Kids have to play their game of picking the Box Office winners from the various genres as well as pointing out the notable losers and just generally giving everyone a heads up on the major players coming out this summer.

The lack of major global sporting events leads to a less "doughnutty" distribution schedule this year. There's a steady stream of interesting items on the way. Even so, there's some curve balls and obvious bad ideas that things are still interesting. Hollywood has not, as yet, cracked the "good enough" level where every movie released is obviously going to appeal to someone.

So, let's do a quick reconnoitre of the upcoming Summer and see what else is out apart from that Avengers movie, a Fast and Furious spin off and a thousand Disney "live action" remakes.

Direct Link: https://archive.org/download/129SuperheroesWinAgainSummerPredictions2019/129-Superheroes-Win-Again-Summer-Predictions-2019.mp3

Episode 128: Star Wars Is Screwed

eightiesrevenge@gmail.com (The Eighties Kids) — Thu, 22 Nov 2018 14:00:00 GMT

Has it come to this? The 80s Kids have never done a Star Wars show before, and now they are doing one it's one about this... and things were looking so good a couple of years back. Round about the time of Rogue One the future of the galaxy far, far away (or the past as it was, a long time ago) looked rosy, the new owners of Lucasfilm were feeling their way into their new acquisition and appeared to be making many of the right noises.

A couple of movies later and it's all gone to pot, however. How could it all have gone so wrong? And is there anything to be done to fix matters?

The 80s Kids pull on their blancmange resistant shoes and wade into the mire of poor decision making and awkward problem-solving that has resulted in Star Wars being a thing that Star Wars fans are feeling it hard to care about any more. Oh, the misery! Oh, the sadness! Internet message boards are still full of posts that say: "Discovery doesn't feel like Star Trek but I'm watching it anyway" but equally are they full of "Star Wars still exists but I am finding it hard to give a crap". When we recorded Star Trek is Screwed little did we know that it's flashier cinematic rival would soon be in worse shape.

Let's send 80s Kids Season 3 into its slumber until Christmas with a consideration of how the whole business just appears to have gone, well, totally Jar Jar.

This episode uses Excerpts of John Bartmann's My Time Done Come, available on Bandcamp and used under a Creative Commons License

Direct Link: https://archive.org/download/305StarWarsIsScrewed/3-05-Star-Wars-is-Screwed.mp3

Episode 127: Conan The Footloose and The Iron Tower

eightiesrevenge@gmail.com (The Eighties Kids) — Thu, 15 Nov 2018 14:00:00 GMT

If you tuned in last week then you'll get the picture here right away. 2011 was a year that, cinematically, mostly happened around the edges. Nothing in the Top 10 was breaking new ground or enticing the keen movie-goer with more than the promise that you were getting something where you knew what it was. All the action was happening outside of the big box office.

Maybe part of this was down to the death of wave-1 3D where 3D was slapped onto everything whether it warranted it or not and a few titles, Drive Angry I'm looking at you, were only released cinematically in 3D for no good reason whatsoever. Thankfully, however, where the 80s nostalgia was strong, 3D was seen as an unnecessary distraction from all the AWESOME 80s ACTION. At least, that's how we're choosing to read it.

In some ways the 80s wasn't so strong with 2011, a Conan reboot attempt, a Fright Night remake, a Footloose remake and the prequel to The Thing makes a solid if unremarkable effort. But then we did get a Margaret Thatcher biopic thrown in the mix and, despite not being genre, that makes a solid 80s foundation to show the decade where all the best movies happened is still present in spirit.

In a way, though, the very best 80s stuff was in the films that hadn't forgotten the spirit of the 80s whether that be in the robot karate kid form of Real Steel, the Eddie Murphy starring heist in the tower or the "Yoot On Bikes" alien invasion comedy Attack the Block. Whichever way you slice it the spirit of the 80s was strong in 2011 and that's just the way we kids like it.

This episode uses Excerpts of John Bartmann's My Time Done Come, available on Bandcamp and used under a Creative Commons License

Direct Link: https://archive.org/download/3042011Part2/3-04-2011-Part-2.mp3

Episode 126:A Popcorn Bucket Full of One-Star Reviews

eightiesrevenge@gmail.com (The Eighties Kids) — Thu, 8 Nov 2018 12:46:00 GMT

It's 1-Star Reviews all around this week as we look at the top ten movies of 2011 and it's not the world's most inspiring list, filled with franchise bloat and soaked through with sequel sogginess. There are a couple of gems and some fun times, but, for the most bankable movies of any year, the general picture is pretty sad.

Smurfs, Transformers, Muscle Cars, more sodding sparkly vampires, it's enough to make you want to drink, drink, drink until oblivion takes you, only to wake up the next day in some unknown location with no hair and a leopard in the bedroom. And yet, we didn't, and neither did anyone we know. All in all 2011 appeared, upon the surface of it, to be a pretty enjoyable year for movies, certainly the upcoming summer of 2013, infamous as the "Summer of Various Disappointments" had more to be glum about, so what gives?

It would appear that the masses were swayed towards big, solid, bankable, critic-proof franchise fare, which is fine and fair enough when you're talking martial arts pandas, talking cars or super spies who may, or may not, be getting on a bit now. But the wonderful thing about 2011 is that it allowed us to have our own dreams, there were many smaller, non-top ten movies that filled in the aching void of hunger for something a bit more substantial.

Great, Leo managed to get through that whole set up blurb without mentioning Captain America or Thor. Now to move on to next week, where he won't be mentioning them either.

This episode uses Excerpts of John Bartmann's My Time Done Come, available on Bandcamp and used under a Creative Commons License

EDITOR'S NOTE: At one point in this episode Leo boldly proclaims that Captain America: The First Avenger and Thor made x "thousand" dollars at the box office, he, of course, meant x "million" dollars but failed to catch his own mistake. I have covered it up as seamlessly as I can, hope no one notices...

Direct Link: https://archive.org/download/3032011Part1/3-03-2011-Part-1.mp3

Episode 125: Halloween Special - Stranger Kids

eightiesrevenge@gmail.com (The Eighties Kids) — Thu, 1 Nov 2018 13:27:00 GMT

It is the weird time, the time of long shadows, where the cold bites harder, above the ragged fingers of blackish clouds claw at the bone-white surface of the moon. It is the time of bizarre happenings, of disquieting omens and of throwback 80s nostalgia weird fiction that you can binge watch on a popular streaming service.

Grabbing the chance as the kids whizz by (you know, on their bikes) those other kids, the ones from the 80s mull over the new hotness of all things 80s throwback. Is the current fad any more than that? Are kids on bikes integral to the vibe? Are these artefacts true to the era, or just fluffy (if tentacly) nostalgia for the time of the 80s? Does any of this matter if we're all having a good time?

Taking in the sights along the way the 80s kids stroll, unaided by human-powered bi-pedal assistance, through the cultural thicket, and wonder what happened to the good old family weird fiction movie of yore. Has the double whammy of IT and Stranger Things created the illusion of a new phase of the 80s culture revival, or is there more to be gained in the future from the neon past of the Goonies, the Monster Squad and, of course, Explorers?

This episode uses Excerpts of John Bartmann's My Time Done Come, available on Bandcamp and used under a Creative Commons License

Direct Link: https://archive.org/download/302HalloweenSpecialStrangerKids/3-02-Halloween-Special-Stranger-Kids.mp3

Episode 124: Summer Review 2018

eightiesrevenge@gmail.com (The Eighties Kids) — Tue, 30 Oct 2018 14:00:00 GMT

So the time of reckoning has come once more unto the kids from the 80s. It was a summer of blockbuster box office but also some bluster and blocked profits for titles that surely should have been bankable even though they were... erm... going solo. We ruminate for the mandatory amount of time about Sci Fi shenanigans, underwhelming dinos, overwhelming Star Wars ennui and purple dudes with universe-altering bling. But we are the 80s kids, and we are disciplined so on we trot in good time.

Horror movies, kids movies, comedies, how did they fare in the summer of 2018, well, a hell of a lot better than your straight action thriller, that's for certain. As we ruin the Quiet Place with our noise and moan about the annoying rabbit we have to wonder, will Joe Carnahan ever get a break?

In the comedies it would appear to be all about those Crazy, Rich Asians, leading to a question about whether things are as questionable as we first thought if they're making bank at the box office. One thing's for certain the summer of 2018 had its ups and its downs but Action Point still didn't make any money.

This episode uses Excerpts of John Bartmann's My Time Done Come, available on Bandcamp and used under a Creative Commons License

Direct Link: https://archive.org/download/301SummerRoundUp2018/3-01-Summer-Round-Up-2018.mp3

Metasode 2: Hello Anchor People

eightiesrevenge@gmail.com (The Eighties Kids) — Thu, 25 Oct 2018 13:00:00 +0100

Hey, regular fans! This is by way of an explainer for people joining us on anchor.fm where we're also going to be releasing future casts.

Welcome Anchor-ites to the land of the 80s Kids. This isn't one of our real podcasts and, as you can see from the 2 in the title, isn't even the first "Not An Episode" of our little endeavour.

If you want explanations of what the heck we're on about then this is what this "not an episode" has in spades. If you want a "real" episode of 80s Kids goodness then you might want to check back here next week. Until then you can head over to our Facebook page or our archive (link on our profile description) to get all Revenged up in the meanwhile.

This episode uses Excerpts of Coconut Monkeyrocket's Juicy Jungle and John Bartmann's My Time Done Come, both available on Bandcamp and used under a Creative Commons License

Direct Link: https://archive.org/download/300AnchorMetasode/3-00-Anchor-Metasode.mp3

Episode 123: Star Trek is Screwed

eightiesrevenge@gmail.com (The Eighties Kids) — Thu, 10 May 2018 13:00:00 +0100

Indeed it is, and has been for so long that the title of this episode has been baking since 2013 when Ian first suggested it. Things weren't much better then, when Ian thought of the idea because a certain Time Lord's 50th Anniversary was coming up. The Doctor had bunting in his Tardis, cake and a War Doctor incarnation played by John Hurt to celebrate.

At almost the same time Star Trek was coming up to its 50th. What did Kirk et al. get? A re-sequel of a re-boot and then forgotten for a couple of years. Then, like a zombie a second sequel to the re-boot came along as well as a shiny new series unavailable except via extortion in the country of its birth. Star Trek did not have the best birthday or aftermath of birthday.

Has it ever been thus? The plug was pulled on Classic Star Trek but it wouldn't die, resurrected in the girdle-clad flesh to shamble on to cinema screens in competition with Star Wars. Then brought back to television and it seemed the rough years were over. Until, three patchy spin offs down the line, we crashed headlong into the shuffling embarrassment of awkwardness that was Enterprise, along with the crushingly awful Nemesis and that appeared to be it.

But you shouldn't count your tribbles until they've been to the vet for neutering (no, seriously). There was the reboot, which was delayed in release so long it looked like it might just get shelved and then... well, here we are, spore drives and a movie franchise that may, possibly, have flatlined. Is this any way to run a Space Federation? Join the 80s kids in their final show for this season and let the moaning commence.

Direct Link: https://archive.org/download/206StarTrekEditFinal/2-06-Star-Trek-Edit-Final.mp3

This episode features an excerpt from Cutting To The Chase by the outstanding Kai Engel.

Episode 122: Clash of the 80s Reboot Lightcycle Team

eightiesrevenge@gmail.com (The Eighties Kids) — Thu, 3 May 2018 13:00:00 +0100

In a pleasing moment of serendipity 2010 loved the 80s almost as much as the old men who were children during it. So out came a rehash of Clash of The Titans, an attempted reboot of everyone's favourite car waxing tutorial, and, who could forget The A Team?

Turns out nearly everyone has forgotten the A Team, including us, so we re-discover this neglected gem. And also consider the duo of sequels to 80s properties nestled away in here. Predators seeks to supplant Predator 2 as a sequel to Arnie's jungle based testosterfest, thankfully, this isn't Highlander, so although it fails to top the Danny Glover sequel it nestles comfortably in the Predator canon awaiting the next entry until someone can think of something more to add that doesn't suck (looks toward September, looks away again).

And how can we ignore Tron Legacy? Well, we can't, in fact, we haven't on several occasions in the podcast. This most troublesome movie has grown from frustrating failure to flawed classic before our eyes. How much more 80s could you get than a zero to hero story that involves Jeff Bridges and synthesizers as key components?

Direct Link: https://archive.org/download/205ClashOfThe80sRebootLightcycleTeam/2-05-Clash-Of-The-80s-Reboot-Lightcycle-Team.mp3

Live Stream Announcement - 80s Kids Magical Mystery Box Event

eightiesrevenge@gmail.com (The Eighties Kids) — Thu, 26 Apr 2018 16:00:00 +0100

If you have been following us via Facebook then you will know that we are currently "Up To Something". Well, what we are up to will be broadcast via Live Stream on 5th May 2018 at 11:30 AM (ish) on our YouTube Channel. Here's a link:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zUe-G9vL9SY

If you would love to have been informed sooner, or did not know, somehow, that we had a facebook page here's a link to that:

https://www.facebook.com/RevengeOfThe80sKids/

Viewing window to be posted closer to the time.

Episode 121: Dreaming of Depressed Children and the War Machine

eightiesrevenge@gmail.com (The Eighties Kids) — Thu, 26 Apr 2018 13:00:00 +0100

And so we pick up our knapsacks and alpenstocks once more, emerge from the lodge at the foot of "Mount Teenies" and wander purposefully into the 2010 foothills. We have aged since our impetuous youth pressed us into devoting a whole show to just one year. In the 80s that was achievable, in the 90s we were keen to be all done as quickly as possible, but then there were the noughties... my, didn't they have a lot to offer? Cramming one noughtie into a single show nearly killed us on more than one occasion and so, we have changed the format.

In the teenies each year shall get two shows. The first considering the year's biggest money-makers and the second moving on to what we like to describe as "Key Texts" and what you may like to describe as "The 80s Kids trying to give the 80s credit for everything". In this show, therefore, we will consider the top 10 highest grossing movies of 2010, so Iron Man 2 was bound to crop up.

Following on from that big obvious heap of MCU stuff what else do we have? Well, there's a lot of stuff for the kids! But... with How To Train Your Dragon, Harry Potter and The Deathly Hallows Part One, Toy Story 3 and Tim Burton's Alice In Wonderland your kids may need cheering up. Thankfully we also have Tangled, Despicable Me and Shrek Forever After to fall back on. So there should be at least one thing to make the children happy, even though there are a greater number of things to make them depressed and anxious.

Grown Ups, on the other hand, got... well... Inception. That's the only thing in the top 10 not specifically chiefly marketed at people under 30. The only other entry being a Twilight Movie. Oh, yes, about that. We make a hasty assurance in this episode that leads us to hope, fervently, that we don't get too many listeners who are that bothered about Twilight. Let's move on. Quickly... very, very quickly.

Direct Link: https://archive.org/download/204DreamingOfDepressedChildrenAndTheWarMachine/2-04-Dreaming-Of-Depressed-Children-And-The-War-Machine.mp3

Episode 120: We Are The 80s Kids... - Summer Predictions 2018

eightiesrevenge@gmail.com (The Eighties Kids) — Thu, 19 Apr 2018 13:00:00 +0100

As we may, possibly, have remarked, we are the 80s Kids, and as we further may have mentioned, we predict the future. We only mention the former because no one knows who we are. We only mention the latter because, like latter-day Cassandras, no-one listens to our prophecies, so the only ones wigged out when they come to pass is us.

It should be pointed out, to be fair, that we're a bit like those Cylons wired up in bathtubs from new BSG, parsing out our spooky visions of the future is rendered impossible because of the surrounding word salad, most of the time. This is our annual attempt to actually focus on the predictions at hand, a breakdown of what we consider to be the likely winners and losers in Summer 2018.

It's no surprise that Superheroes are back at the cinema this summer, enough of them to get their own category, but what's the point of speculating on those, really? SF and Fantasy, on the other hand, asks us to nominate Solo or more Jurassic World, among a smorgasbord of other delights. In the world of action, it looks like it's all about Skyscraper and MI: Fallout. Then it gets tricky, can one really pick apart a slate of comedies including Game Night, Life of the Party and Super Troopers 2? Family movies wave the big shinies of Incredibles 2 and Hotel Transylvania 3 in our direction, but all of this may lead one to wonder WTF happened to a variety of entertainment, sure Avengers, Solo, Rampage and the Stath punching a Megalodon are all amusing, but where are the zingers and shouldn't there be a minion in here somewhere?

Summer predictions, either they seem easy or they quite blatantly tell you they're impossible to pick. Let's see how the 80s Kids get on with this mess, shall we?

Direct Link: https://archive.org/download/203WeAreThe80sKids2018SummerPredictions/2-03-We-Are-The-80s-Kids-2018-Summer-Predictions.mp3

Episode 119: The Vin Diesel Problem

eightiesrevenge@gmail.com (The Eighties Kids) — Thu, 12 Apr 2018 13:00:00 +0100

Technical snafus, out of context Justin, gentlemen having problems, not being able to do things... anymore, these are all the things that made the 80s Kids a beloved, nay, tolerated, nay, largely ignored, cultural artefact of the latter years. But are audiences still into the authentic 80s Kids vibe? Or do they crave the great 80s Kids flavour without all that calorific canon weighing them down? Only one way to be sure: REBOOT!

But can this really be a reboot? After all, this is labelled episode 119, Leo and Ian still bicker away at the podcast's core and someone called Justin occasionally chips in with a relevant or interesting tidbit. The theme tune has not been reworked, the format is mostly similar. Are these jokers trying to give us a continuation dressed up as a reboot? Is it enough that their eye is, most certainly, fixed on the franchise?

It would appear that the only answer is for us to pull on our reboots and trample all over the reboots of latter times, The A Team, Batman Begins, Spider-man (twice!), Ghostbusters, Terminator and that ever present Vin Diesel Problem. The complicated and confusing world of reboots is bound to get the 80s Kids to venture into choppy waters this week. Let's hope that this podcast pays adequate respects to the podcasts that went before whilst offering new hope for growth and development in the future, shall we?

Direct Link: https://archive.org/download/202RebootsEditFinal/2-02-Reboots-Edit-Final.mp3

Episode 118: Rowdy Roddy Rose Tinted Spectacles

eightiesrevenge@gmail.com (The Eighties Kids) — Thu, 5 Apr 2018 13:00:00 +0100

We have established that Ghostbusters, Back To The Future, The Thing, Big Trouble In Little China, The Breakfast Club, Weird Science, Gremlins, Aliens, The Lost Boys, The Terminator, Blade Runner, Conan The Barbarian, Brazil, Predator, Commando, Return of the Living Dead, Nightmare on Elm Street, Explorers, The Goonies, Robocop and dozens of other great moments in cinema took place in the 1980s. But does that mean the 80s were necessarily a better time for pop culture than any before or since?

You cannot deny the 70s, the 00s and, sigh, even the 90s had their moments, but can it be true that in the 80s even the low points were higher? Is that a matter for ultimate aesthetic truth? Or is it just a bunch of grumpy old men crying into their Back to the Future trilogy box sets about past glories?

As the All-New, All-Retro 80s Kids are determined to make the bright future pay homage to the neon-tinted age of shoulder pads it is absolutely vital that they ask "Why are we so obsessed with the 80s?" with the rise of Stranger Things and synthwave it may seem that we're not alone, but is all just the future glimpsed through Rowdy Roddy Rose tinted spectacles? Or does the 80s truly live again?

Direct Link: https://archive.org/download/20180sNostalgiaEditFinal/2-01-80s-Nostalgia-Edit-Final.mp3

This episode features an excerpt from Whisper of Night Streets by the estimable Eva Schlegel.

Metasode 1: Season of the 80s Kids

eightiesrevenge@gmail.com (The Eighties Kids) — Thu, 29 Mar 2018 13:54:00 +0100

Regular listeners to our show may be forgiven for having been sitting in the living room, worried sick, counting flowers on the wall, smoking cigarettes (health risks notwithstanding) and watching Captain Kangaroo (on DVD obviously). Now, here we come, bedraggled, the worse for wear, our key scratching at the lock, our clompy boots not the best for tiptoeing through this house of lies.

We make our way, whispering in urgent tones, clearly assigning the blame for our misadventures amongst ourselves. And then we catch the eye of the listener, stone faced, curlers in hair, dressing gown cinched too tightly. We realise, the jig is up. We are going to have to explain where we've been since October 2015.

Okay, yes, fine we can bring the regular listener a bouquet of 2018 Summer Predictions, we can promise to do better in the future, but the damage is done. The rgular listener was thinking that we'd succumbed to podfade out there, and yet, here we are with all our 80s nostalgia, and year shows, like nothing happened. The regular listener knows that Ian hates talking about our real lives, but this is a special exception. So, we settle down for this "Not an Episode" Metasode of the 80s Kids that seeks to begin setting expectations for the years ahead.

After that, maybe we can get back to business, almost, as usual.

Direct Link: https://archive.org/download/Metasode1SeasonOfThe80sKids/Metasode-1-Season-Of-The-80s-Kids.mp3

This episode features an excerpt from Nuevo Chanson by the excellent John Bartmann.

Live Stream: 2018 Summer Predictions

eightiesrevenge@gmail.com (The Eighties Kids) — Fri, 9 Mar 2018 16:15:00 GMT

Has it been so long?

Last time the 80s Kids rocked up to proffer their opinion on what would do gangbusters at the Summer Box office was 2015.

Whether their predictions were right or wrong (mostly, they weren't right) was not the point. The journey was the point. And they're setting out on that journey once again. Will Ian's watering can of tepid water come out again? Does Leo have any cheap visual tricks to bring to the party? There's only one way to find out for sure.

We're up at 10:15 AM GMT tomorrow (10th March 2018)

Episode 117: Halloween Special: King Me!

eightiesrevenge@gmail.com (The Eighties Kids) — Sat, 31 Oct 2015 00:00:00 GMT

It's the most magical time of the year! Yes, that's right, Hallowe'en and not any other holiday at all. So what better time for the 80s Kids to group together and chew the fat over all things grisly, not to say gristly. So join Leo Scaryclown, Ian Curdlewell and Justin Why-god-whyatt for a discussion of that titan of modern horror: Stephen King.

From Carrie to Kingdom Hospital, from Pennywise the Clown to a bunch of sentient trucks we're taking a look at one of the central figures of modern horror. You may be amazed at just how much pop culture has King's trademark tropes shot through it. We'll be asking all the vital questions like how come there's so much of this stuff? And why are most film adaptations bizarre, mediocre or both.

Let's take a Stand, gather in our Dark Tower and enter the Dead Zone. It's Four To Midnight and some joke about the Shawshank Redemption that misses the mark by a Green Mile.

Hoo boy, that's one hell of a Creepshow on the Graveyard Shift.

Direct Link: https://archive.org/download/117HalloweenSpecialKingMe/117-halloween-special-king-me.mp3

Episode 116: 2015 Summer review LIVEish

eightiesrevenge@gmail.com (The Eighties Kids) — Sat, 17 Oct 2015 16:51:00 +0100

Six months ago they who shall be known as the 80s Kids made their summer predictions. They picked the movies that they believed would do the business at the box office and grab the summer movie dollar. Now comes the time of the Predictoreckoning! Were they on the money? Or were they hopelessly out of touch? Did they find the gobbliest turkey? Did they unearth a surprise gem? Tune in to find out!

Direct Link: https://archive.org/download/1162015SummerReviewLIVEish/116-2015-summer-review-LIVEish.mp3

Upcoming Hangouts - Summer Review and Hallowe'en

eightiesrevenge@gmail.com (The Eighties Kids) — Fri, 9 Oct 2015 14:19:00 +0100

We're back for a couple of specials this month. On the 17th October we'll be reviewing our predictions for the summer and at Hallowe'en we'll be discussing Horror-meister Stephen King both in live hangouts. Here's some links to the google events. We'll put up YouTube windows nearer the time.

Summer Review: [Alas poor link, we hardly knew ye.]

Hallowe'en Special: [Ain't nobody here but us dead links]

Episode 115 - Looking Forward To Farewell

eightiesrevenge@gmail.com (The Eighties Kids) — Thu, 23 Jul 2015 00:00:00 +0100

Is it that time already? Lo, brother (and/or sister) it is late and the candle has burned low. Over three decades and twenty-six alphanumeric symbols later the time has come to rest.

When we started this crazy show two and a bit years ago we could not have dreamed of how little anyone would care or how few people would listen. It truly has been an epic poke in the eye for the principle of the cream rising to the top. Not that I'm saying there was much intellectual value in this enterprise.

In this last episode Leo, keeping up his brash know-it-all smug superiority states that it was Daedalus that rolled a rock to the top of a hill in Greek mythology. Clearly it was Sisyphus. Daedalus got away scot free after acting like a massively amoral smug git for his entire life. And what did Sisyphus do really? Well, loads of terrible things as it goes. What was my point?

Yes, that's it, even at the last all the tropes are here, opening skit with fabulous production values, gentlemen we have a problem, Leo sounds like a know-it-all and then gets things horribly wrong, Justin leaves the cast halfway through due to other commitments... oh no, wait, that didn't happen. We missed one off the checklist. That's it, the finale is ruined.

So, listen to the 80s Kids discuss sharks and when things jump over them, other things this podcast could have been called, and why we'll be lurking in corners where you'll never know if we're going to pounce.

These are the last minutes of the 80s Kids Revenge, and they're the weirdest minutes you're likely to hear all week.

TTFN!

Incidental music by incompetech.com

Direct Link: https://archive.org/download/115LookingForwardToFarewell/115-looking-forward-to-farewell.mp3

LIVE 80s Kids - One Time Only Offer!*

eightiesrevenge@gmail.com (The Eighties Kids) — Fri, 17 Jul 2015 11:32:00 +0100

Hey Guys,

Here's the YouTube Window thingie for the 80s Kids Grand Finale. We'll attempt to keep an eye on chat and also the Q&A app during the show. We'll be aiming to start about 10:30AM BST (GMT +1) but as usual there may be technical hiccups etc. so bear with us.

Less than 24 hours to go!!!!

* Until next time.

Episode 114: The 80s Kids ABC of Cinema - WXYZ

eightiesrevenge@gmail.com (The Eighties Kids) — Thu, 16 Jul 2015 00:00:00 +0100

Oh how the years have flown by, and so it is like letters of the alphabet so are the days of our lives. The 80s Kids have bested three and a half decades of genre cinema and they're not going to let the weird end of the alphabet get them down.

It's a three-of-four week so you can also speculate as to whether anyone will have picked a 'W'. X-citement will surely build to X-cruciating levels before, X-position being what it is the X-hausting truth will be X-posed.

Y? You may ask. Y all the terrible puns? Y ask Y when we ask Y not? After all it's our second to last chance so Y not cut loose and enjoy ourselves.

Finally we tackle the perennial problem of zombies. After all in TUV we talked about their charming bloodsucker counterparts. Do our movie monster choices have much to do with American politics? Well, there's only one way to find out the answer, and it will be one hell of a story.

Incidental music by incompetech.com

Direct Link: https://archive.org/download/114The80sKidsABCOfCinemaWXYZ/114-the-80s-kids-ABC-of-cinema-WXYZ.mp3

Episode 113: The 80s Kids Top 5 Films of the 00s Face Off - Part Two

eightiesrevenge@gmail.com (The Eighties Kids) — Thu, 9 Jul 2015 16:43:00 +0100

Gosh it seems like it's taken us a long time to get here. Which is BECAUSE IT HAS! Two and a bit years is a long time in anyone's book. If someone had put you in a box and buried you for that long you'd jolly well know about it by now... or maybe you wouldn't.

Anyway, here we are. The 80s Kids faves of the 00s are about to be known by one and, indeed all. The implication of this is that with a little careful re-examination of the archive you could build some kind of Uber List of 80s Kids top movies from the 70s, 80s, 90s and 00s. That's a lot of favourite movie action there people.

Anyway, now you're back after your impromptu film festival of the last four decades(ish) of cinema I have to tell you that you missed up to 8 important movies. Yes, you, you're always running off to do stuff without thinking it through.

The 80s Kids, and there are four of them, have two movies each yet to disclose. You went off to watch the rest and left these ones out. So you'd better sit down right now and listen to this podcast because only then will your life be complete*.

Incidental music by incompetech.com

*This may not actually happen. But it's a good podcast.

Direct Link: https://archive.org/download/113The80sKidsTop5OfThe00sFaceOffPartTwo/113-the-80s-kids-top-5-of-the-00s-face-off-part-two.mp3

Episode 112: The 80s Kids Top 5 of the 00s Face Off Part One

eightiesrevenge@gmail.com (The Eighties Kids) — Wed, 1 Jul 2015 00:00:00 +0100

You know the drill people, we start with 5 films, all withheld from each other's knowledge. We countdown from 5 to 3 taking turns to reveal our picks. Simultaneous choices could lead to harmonious joy or social awkwardness. Who knows which way it will go.

Leo's pretty confident that he won't be interfering with anyone else's picks in the first part of the countdown. Sue believes she hasn't picked anything that other people will have gone for. Ian and Justin are both more wary.

Will there be upsets? Harmony? Discord? Social Awkwardness? A rapidly shoehorned in Shia Lebeouf monster? There's only one way to find out!

... Yes... that's listen to the podcast. What did you think I meant? Hum. Okay, why would I have meant that? You need help.

Incidental music provided as ever by Incompetech.com

Direct Link: https://archive.org/download/112The80sKidsTop5OfThe00sFaceOffPartOne/112-the-80s-kids-top-5-of-the-00s-face-off-part-one.mp3

Episode 111: The 80s Kids ABC Of Cinema - TUV

eightiesrevenge@gmail.com (The Eighties Kids) — Thu, 25 Jun 2015 00:00:00 +0100

It's all getting a bit wild as we come to the end of the alphabet. Sure, T is a reasonably well behaved letter but U and V? Not many choices there... something will have to be done.

To deal with the crossed T up front. Leo feels like a life on the ocean wave could get eerily repetitive. Ian needs to go, quickly. And Justin's going to head straight for the toy cupboard and dig out an exciting musical with loads of top quality acting talent.

After that though, it's wild card time, expect the Unusual, the Unorthodox, the Unbelievable and, in a bizarre twist a possibility of Unicorn Umbrellas.

Perhaps best to calm down and take a nap. As long as the room where you do so is fixed up with garlic on the sills and an excellent south facing aspect. Sonar confusing noise-emitters might also prove a boon. You could put a crucifix over the bed but I'm not sure they're still in fashion. V is for Vampire and we're going to round the show off by posing the question what makes a good vampire flick?

Incidental music, as always, by incompetech.com

Direct Link: https://archive.org/download/111The80sKidsABCOfCinemaTUV/111-the-80s-kids-ABC-of-cinema-TUV.mp3

Well, We're Past 100 Archived!

eightiesrevenge@gmail.com (The Eighties Kids) — Thu, 18 Jun 2015 10:03:00 +0100

Hey guys, Leo here.

Just to let you know that we're past 100 and the archive is rolling on. We're about five shows from the end of the series now. Once we're done we'll make sure all the episodes remaining are backed up to the archive. We will also ensure that all our future plans are laid out clearly and this will be the first port of call for anyone wishing to know what those pesky 80s Kids are up to next.

Enjoy!

Episode 110: 2009 - Is That All There Is?

eightiesrevenge@gmail.com (The Eighties Kids) — Thu, 18 Jun 2015 00:00:00 +0100

The 80s Kids finally run out of road, chronologically speaking, this week as they arrive at their stated destination of 2009. This being the objective of their quest from the beginning. You would expect a chequered flag, a ribbon to break, champagne, fireworks.

Instead, and rather predictably, they just find a load of inconvenient questions...

Where does one file "The Imaginarium of Doctor Parnassus"? Was it a good year to be a child? A sci fi fan? A horror fan? What if you like Literary Adaptations? Or just fancied a bit of a laugh? Or splosions? Everyone likes splosions! Surely?

There was certainly a good quantity of product on offer at the close of the noughties. How much of it was any good though? The 80s Kids roll up their sleeves and get stuck into a year like any other, desperately so.

In other news their mysterious nemesis, working on behalf of the evil arch-nemesis Big Bay, finally has the kids cornered. As they've managed to get this far without dying, and now their journey is at its end, you probably won't care much for the resolution of that plot strand though, will you?

Hardly incidental, and actually rather good, music provided by incompetech.com Awesome.

Direct Link: https://archive.org/download/1102009IsThatAllThereIs/110-2009-is-that-all-there-is.mp3

Episode 109: The 80s Kids ABC of Cinema - PQRS

eightiesrevenge@gmail.com (The Eighties Kids) — Thu, 11 Jun 2015 00:00:00 +0100

Perfectly primed the 80s kids begin the show reflecting on prejudice and pleasant times. Quite quickly though a queue forms querying the quixotic nature of the team's picks.

Rallying redoubtably the troops regroup to rethink. Reconnoitre random ripping yarns from the silver screen. Slithering slinkily within sight come some suspiciously sublime selections to round out the show.

If all that PQRS alliteration hasn't put you off then maybe themes of monochrome, stop motion, 70s style action, weird porcine adventures, voyeurism, ecology and the sad decline of bankable properties will.

The only way to find out is to take the plunge. Come on in, it's very pleasant.

Direct Link: https://archive.org/download/109The80sKidsABCOfCinemaPQRS/109-the-80s-kids-ABC-of-cinema-PQRS.mp3

Episode 108: And Now, The End Is Near

eightiesrevenge@gmail.com (The Eighties Kids) — Thu, 4 Jun 2015 00:00:00 +0100

SPOILER WARNING! This show is about the ends of shows. So the topic of conversation is necessarily spoiler-heavy. Listen with caution!

You had to know it was on its way. There's only one year left in the Noughties, those final Top 5s and we're a mere 7 letters from the end of the alphabet.

All that remains is for the kids to sweep up, arrange the barstools neatly and turn out the lights. Cue the emotional piano music, like all great shows the 80s Kids is winding up to the big finish.

So, before we take that last step into the arena of finality, why not take the opportunity to get all beardy that one last time?

In a conclusion to the "navel-gazing" strand of the cast Leo and Ian talk about show finales. They go hunting for the common threads in that most elusive of beasts: the satisfying conclusion.

"Lost" is bound to come up again, as it does, but there's also a look at "Star Trek: TNG", "Buffy", new "BSG" "Fringe", "Blakes 7", "Babylon 5", "Twin Peaks" and "The Shield" among others.

So as the roundabout slows try not to get anything in your eye. You can rest assured that the kids aren't going to go out in an "everybody dies" toys from pram kind of a finale.

Incidental Music by incompetech.com

Direct Link: https://archive.org/download/Episode108AndNowTheEndIsNear/108-And-now-the-end-is-near.mp3

Episode 107: The 80s Kids ABC of Movies: MNO

eightiesrevenge@gmail.com (The Eighties Kids) — Thu, 28 May 2015 00:00:00 +0100

There's some unexpected crossing over on 80s Kids Story Time this week where M and O provide a chance for the kids to find out what they have in common.

It turns out that Ian and Justin both feel some concern that they might be judged, in a cosmic sense. Justin and Leo, on the other hand, are just both at home among hairy gentlemen with big swords, but find luminous dragons an issue.

Aside from this the week's dark volume of lunatic tales ponders on the fatality that comes to British actors called Sean, the possibly copyright infringing silent creatures of the night, and numinous presences that take full advantage of the "N" loophole!

It's enough to drive anyone mad. Possibly best to settle down for a nice meal at a high altitude, and watch out for snipers on the way home from the registry office, won't you?

Music by incompetech.com

Direct Link: https://archive.org/download/Episode107The80sKidsAbcOfMoviesMno/107-the-80s-kids-ABC-of-cinema-MNO.mp3

Episode 106: 2008 - The Revenge Of The 80s Kids

eightiesrevenge@gmail.com (The Eighties Kids) — Wed, 20 May 2015 15:38:00 +0100

Striking back against Big Bay this week the 80s Kids revel in the year of the Revenge of the 80s Kids. 2008 was the year in which the modern world, and by the modern world I mean the Marvel Cinematic Universe, was born. After the joys of Iron Man and The Incredible Hulk, though, what more did 2008 have to offer?

The Punisher is brutal, for sure, and this probably leads to it being unfairly sent to the Marvel Studios naughty corner. Don't forget the other comic book joy on offer this year, DC's finest hour was born in the form of The Dark Knight, and Guillermo Del Toro presented us with Hellboy II: The Golden Army.

Don't get me wrong, there was dross on offer in 2008: The Spirit, Eagle Eye, Quantum of Solace. The thing is, though, that when 2008 got it right it got it so so damn right. Let us not forget The Forbidden Kingdom, Doomsday, Death Race, Transporter 3, Vantage Point and Pineapple Express.

That roster alone should tell you that the 80s Kids were being well served in 2008, let us not forget that this year also gave us the film that told us being a LARPer was fine, nay, not just fine but cool, in the shape of Role Models. Let's grab out rubber swords and geek out about one of the most joyfully nerdy years in cinema history.

Incidental Music by incompetech.com

Direct Link: https://archive.org/download/106TheRevengeOfThe80sKids/106%20-%20The%20Revenge%20of%20the%2080s%20Kids.mp3

Episode 105: Arc Shows - The Inevitable Filler Episode

eightiesrevenge@gmail.com (The Eighties Kids) — Thu, 14 May 2015 15:34:00 +0100

...And then the main characters found themselves embarrassingly in medias res without a chance to properly adjust. Such has become the lot of the television protagonist, their stories creatively non-linear, their issues never resolved in a single episode, their tales always working in the most convoluted of twists.

This week the Kids from the 80s, for it is they, look at the phenomenon of prestige television in all its forms, from The Wire to Breaking Bad, from Abrams to Kring, all the big hitters are here. Asking the questions that must have occurred to all modern viewers of the telly box at some stage the kids pontificate about the problems of making things up as you go along and the limiting factors of studio interference and actor contracts.

Incidental Music by incompetech.com

Direct Link: https://archive.org/download/105ArcShowsTheInevitableFillerEpisode/105%20-%20Arc%20Shows%20-%20The%20Inevitable%20Filler%20Episode.mp3

Episode 104: The 80s Kids ABC of Cinema - JKL

eightiesrevenge@gmail.com (The Eighties Kids) — Thu, 7 May 2015 15:33:00 +0100

Back we go! Back to the toy box of the 80s kids to pull forth the pack of letter blocks, separate out three and challenge the kids to make a word from the results. Unfortunately the letters returned are JKL, so anything that is not a noise you make when you first stub your toe is out of the question.

Conversation soon turns, inevitably, to film picks. Ian's first pick is about extreme woodworking, at least it's undertaken by a professional... Justin gets insulting with his first choice leading Leo to rifle through his Smiths records for a soothing tune about the ineffectiveness of snooze alarms on a significant other.

Moving onto K, Leo has an axe to grind, as long as he's dancing while he grinds it, of course. Justin's pick is up to something and wears many hats in order to achieve its nefarious aims. Ian will put things right as long as he doesn't lose an eye playing with knives, or starfish, or both.

They decide, predictably enough, to round off with L where Justin is contemplating failure. Ian is making a high score which could lead him into serious trouble. As the others depart Leo finds himself as the only one left... or some other way to describe that situation.

Incidental music by Kevin Macleod of incompetech.com

Direct Link: https://archive.org/download/104The80sKidsABCOfCinemaJKL/104%20-%20The%2080s%20Kids%20ABC%20of%20Cinema%20-%20JKL.mp3

Episode 103: 2007 - Big Bay Strikes Back!

eightiesrevenge@gmail.com (The Eighties Kids) — Thu, 30 Apr 2015 15:13:00 +0100

History itself has conformed to a shape that tells us the 80s Kids had a destiny, an epic birthright and a pleasing plot arc. For we have arrived at 2007, a mere three years from the finish line to find a wasteland, a cinematic apocalypse lurking in an unexpected location.

2007 was so devoid of worth that it's amazing that people let it pass as if it was just another year. Forget the fact that this is the year of the first Bayformers, we have and we feel much better for it. This is the year in which you could count the number of truly successful movies on the digits of two hands and not even need the thumbs.

Hot Fuzz, Enchanted, Stardust, a Potter, a Bourne and we're pretty much done. Sure we had 300 featuring Gerard Butler in a pair of Y-Fronts and a cloak, a Spartan outfit indeed. We had a tepid Simpsons Movie. After those meagre pickings however you're in the arena of "letting things off the hook".

Ratatouille did nothing for Pixar's reputation, Spider Man 3 is still derided for the creation of emo-Parker, I Am Legend was a vehicle for Will Smith's massive ego, Beowulf gave Sue a headache because of the 3-D and Leo a headache because of everything else, the less said about Bridge To Terabithia the better. The mediocre dross keeps spewing.

The Golden Compass is like dust on the wind, 1408 is all but forgotten, Blood & Chocolate thankfully missed the Twihard wannabe boat, The Invasion was the remake ashamed of its own story, The Number 23 is as disappointing as only the 22nd sequel in any franchise could be, Hitman failed to hit the mark, Shooter suffered from a remarkable lack of action and War demonstrated that you shouldn't ever put Jet Li and Jason Statham in the same place at the same time.

Ian tries to lighten the mood with a wry observation arising from the implications of AvP:Requiem. It's no good, however, we're trapped in a tin can in a vacuum at the mercy of our arch-nemesis and the air is running low. Truly the darkest point of the journey, so grim Justin can't even be bothered to make an out of context remark. Let's just hope we can extricate ourselves from this mess before it's too late...

Incidental Music by incompetech.com

Direct Link: https://archive.org/download/103Films2007BigBayStrikesBack/103%20-%20Films%202007%20Big%20Bay%20Strikes%20Back.mp3

Episode 102: Hellraiser - Cinema Release For Some, Straight To DVD For Others

eightiesrevenge@gmail.com (The Eighties Kids) — Thu, 23 Apr 2015 09:55:00 +0100

The Hellraiser series is an odd duck. A film series that has, over the years, churned out movies featuring that most iconic demon/angel with a love of S&M who cares not for the 'safety word' as he carries off for torture any who have been foolish enough to solve a certain puzzle box.

The films have wavered in quality for arty reactions against the mindless slasher genre to patchwork visions of hell to actually being a mindless monster movie before becoming a property that while yearning for another 'Must see' entry in the canon seems to flounder every time and could be argued fares much better as something roughly jammed into a horror script that wasn't even supposed to feature them.

And so a strange chain of 9ish movies stretching from our 80s home land and into more or less modern day lies before us, and while fan differ on exactly where the golden era exactly falls the jumbled sequence of largely unsynchronized films and DVDs seems to hang together as a body of work, where a wild and fascinating mythology seems to emerge between the cracks.

Realizing there's always safety in numbers the 80s kids have enlisted the aid of horror enthusiast J R Park to help as they navigate their way through one of the most fascinating franchises out there. Hellraiser films good and bad take us between ultimate pleasure and ultimate pain. To think... we hesitated... Incidental Music by incompetech.com

Direct Link: https://archive.org/download/102Hellraiser/102%20-%20Hellraiser.mp3

Episode 101: Victorian Action Detective and the Fate of the Dinosaurs

eightiesrevenge@gmail.com (The Eighties Kids) — Thu, 16 Apr 2015 09:53:00 +0100

It's after midnight at the beardy discussion diner. The 100th party is over, Justin's eaten too much cake and passed out, so out come the weighty philosophical ideas. What's baking Leo's noodle this week is the twin dilemma that lurks between current copyright law and our digital ability to back up everything.

On the one hand it is sad that copyright material that is not cherished and preserved is lost forever, but creative things are lost all the time. Sure, for some reason we all know about Robin Hood the outlaw of Nottingham who robbed from the rich and gave to the poor but what about Melvin Tabard the Cheeky Bandito of Cleethorpes. He robbed from a variety of people, pooled the money and gave it back to them divided equally, also known as the Dutch Deliverer? We've all forgotten him, or I just made him up to illustrate a point.

The unfortunate fact is that since the mid-noughties it has become almost impossible to get rid of a cultural artifact that, at some point, was rendered into digital format. This sounds good in theory but when people en masse prefer to recycle old things in the form of franchises, sequels, prequels and works based on other works how do we ensure that artists continue to create new, far less popular things?

Ironically, copyright and its ridiculous terms has created, in addition to a sort of enforced forgetting, an enforced create something passably new situation. A work may be "heavily influenced" but it is, at least, its own thing.

Does this make copyright an unintentional hero fighting for the cause of novelty? Almost certainly. Is this new idea likely to be popular? Probably not, new things don't gain much traction in this day and age. Good job we have copyright to fence off huge swathes of intellectual property from lazy artists eh? Who's with me! See, that's what I thought. Not a popular idea. But just WAIT for the sequel! Incidental Music by incompetech.com

Direct Link: https://archive.org/download/101NostalgiaAinTWhatItUsedToBe/101%20-%20Nostalgia%20ain_t%20what%20it%20used%20to%20be.mp3

Episode 100: The 80s Kids 100th Show LIVEish

eightiesrevenge@gmail.com (The Eighties Kids) — Thu, 9 Apr 2015 09:50:00 +0100

Over the many months our humble podcast has operated we have on occasion numbered most (but not all) of our podcasts. The amount of those shows with numbers has now counted unto a definitive positive 100 and with our second anniversary just a mere two pods away it was decided to leap upon this arbitrary base ten number moment of double zero numerical figure happenstance to declare it a combined 100th and Anniversary occasion, what with our one year anniversary falling on episode 50 and all.

So having gotten our motives out the way let me lay out the fun fact we had a jolly good time celebrating the event on Saturday the 4th of April with a live Google hang out. As a matter of archiving that event is now here as an audio only podcast.

Within this tight package you'll see... or rather hear... Leo, Ian and Justin congratulate each other on things podcast related before answering some listener submitted questions, reflecting on the state of the show...

Normally at these mile stones program makers normally speculate that with X number of things gone there's no reason their won't be X number in the future. Sadly we cannot make this boast. And the future of the Revenge of the 80s Kids and what lies beyond it is greatly discussed. Also... clips. So that's nice. Incidental Music by that most enigmatic but oblivious contributor... the vastly talented incompetech.com

Direct Link: https://archive.org/download/10080sKidsEpisodeONEHUNDREDLIVEish/100%20-%2080s%20Kids%20Episode%20ONE%20HUNDRED%20LIVEish.mp3

Welcome To The Archive!

eightiesrevenge@gmail.com (The Eighties Kids) — Mon, 6 Apr 2015 12:39:00 +0100

Hi Everyone! Leo here. Just welcoming you to the Revenge of the 80s Kids official archive. As you will note the entries beneath are back dated to the date of original broadcast. The files are hosted on the Internet Archive where they ask for the creation date, this is why I happened to have them to hand. So over time this will grow into the centre of the 80s Kids Universe. Enjoy!

Episode 99: The 80s Kids ABC of Cinema - GHI

eightiesrevenge@gmail.com (The Eighties Kids) — Thu, 2 Apr 2015 09:48:00 +0100

This week the 80s Kids are continuing their alphabet themed ascent through the films they enjoy, or feel someone else should be enjoying. Today we're having merriment with Movies starting with the letters G, H and I.

Ian's G Film sees him get quite animated in places as he goes off for adventure in distant exotic parts Justin's G Film has him in a very bad mood so best not annoy him. Leo's G Film is about an exciting pastime for all the family aged 8 and above ... but then someone got too competitive, an argument broke out about the rules and someone flipped the table and walk off.

Leo's H film is about one hell of a cop. Justin's H film a laughable Hitchcockian thriller. Ian's H film sees everyone stuck indoors for a maths lesson. Ian's I Film is a sobering tale of an ordinary family trying their best to accommodate their new neighbors.

Justin's I Film is a road trip in which life lessons are dispensed by celebrity cameos. Meanwhile Leo's I film has us all looking within for the small hero inside us all. Incidental Music by Incompetech.com

Direct Link: https://archive.org/download/099The80sKidsABCOfCinemaGHI/099%20-%20The%2080s%20Kids%20ABC%20of%20Cinema%20-%20GHI.mp3

Episode 98: 2006 - Lady in the Podcast

eightiesrevenge@gmail.com (The Eighties Kids) — Thu, 26 Mar 2015 11:13:00 GMT

So we prepared for this one, adequately we felt. We have noticed that year shows at the latter end of the journey are somewhat... how shall we say... baggy. The pace of film production has just gone mental these last few years.

We took a look at the list of major releases recorded for 1976 the other day and it looked like someone had left off 75% of the titles to our jaded modern eyes. So we carefully selected the movies to look at and the ones to group and discuss en masse. We stuck to the plan. We knew we could keep our discussion time down.

We failed.

So what went wrong??? Well, 2006... and this sounds like a cop-out but really it's not... 2006 was a very cerebral year at the pictures. Not so much in Hollywood where it was all pirates and secret agents and failing to do Superman properly again. The smaller projects are the problem. How can you not spend quality time discussing Children of Men? Or Deja Vu? Or Idiocracy? Or Pan's Labyrinth? There's just so much to talk about!

Thank goodness we did V for Vendetta in our Wachowskis retrospective, because honestly that might have taken us past the 2 hour point. Thankfully 2007 is shaping up to be completely boring, so next time... next time...

Incidental Music by incompetech.com

Direct Link: https://archive.org/download/098Films2006LadyInThePodcast/098%20-%20Films%202006%20-%20Lady%20in%20the%20Podcast.mp3

Episode 97: Noughties Procedural Action Men - The TV show

eightiesrevenge@gmail.com (The Eighties Kids) — Thu, 19 Mar 2015 11:10:00 GMT

Procedural drama. You know the stuff. You have your cast of regulars who act as problem solvers and each week they get to do their job, working their way through whatever crisis is going on in a neat format be that Murders, Undead Horrors or Aliens come to Earth to stir up trouble.

Of course we've got over an hour to kill talking on this topic on our episode so this necessitates a degree of formula. After our attention grabbing opening skit we sink our teeth into 'Angel' as this series more than any other seemed to umbrella over so much of what we wanted to discuss. This quickly leads into a more worldly chat about the frantic '24' and then onto the crime shows of 'CSI', 'Lie to Me', The Mentalist', 'Criminal Minds' and that UK attempt at '24' style show ... 'Spooks'. If we were a procedural show all this would fall before our first ad break so you can safely assume it will be a dead end as we move on to new lines of inquiry after a word from our sponsor.

We then head into the thrilling middle section as the problem only seems to deepen. Taking our conversation to the amazing but gritty 'The Shield', the undying 'Supernatural', the much beloved 'True Blood', the quirky 'Eureka' and charming 'Warehouse 13'. But all this is mere run around that only leaves us with an ever deepening mystery.

Finally, getting desperate, Leo lets Ian off his leash and lets him talk on the shaggy Doctor Who spin off 'Torchwood', and while he's waffling away to himself something he says makes a connection in Leo's mind and suddenly in a dramatic final scene all is explained and the topic put to bed in time for the closing titles.

And next week will be very much the same I expect. But I think people find such things reassuring.

Incidental Music by incompetech.com

Direct Link: https://archive.org/download/097ActionNoughtyTV/097%20-%20Action%20Noughty%20TV.mp3

Episode 96: The 80s Kids Summer Predictions - LIVEish...

eightiesrevenge@gmail.com (The Eighties Kids) — Thu, 12 Mar 2015 11:08:00 GMT

Not content with having plenty of time to consider their choices before being wrong the 80s Kids went onto Google Hangouts on 7th March 2015 to be wrong before an audience of their peers.

Never has inaccurately taking a punt about what may or may not be a big hit/massive flop at the pictures been so... immediate. Across the categories of Sci Fi, Action, Childrens, Comedy and Horror the 80s Kids try to foresee the summer's big hitters and find one wretched turkey in the pile. Have they actually managed to get anything right except for the unremarkable statement that Avengers: Age of Ultron might be a bit of a thing?

Well, they managed to ignore the Pixar movie and Disney's Tomorrowland altogether. This should give you an indication of how close their finger is to the pulse. Really we all just tune in to this just so we laugh that little bit harder in October when the Summer Review comes out, aren't we? And how much sweeter as that show will most assuredly be a live webcast as well! Enjoy.

Direct Link: https://archive.org/download/096The80sKidsSummerPredictionsLive/096%20-%20The%2080s%20Kids%20Summer%20Predictions%20-%20Live.mp3

Episode 95: The Wachowskis

eightiesrevenge@gmail.com (The Eighties Kids) — Wed, 4 Mar 2015 11:02:00 GMT

This week Leo and Ian have a darn good natter about those latter day divisive writers/Directors/Producers the Wachowskis. Famed for inventing the black leather martial arts with philosophy genre with the Matrix and then, perhaps very ironically, kind of killing it off with the Matrix Sequels.

Here our duo of Leo, a confessed Wachowskis apologist and Ian, a Washowskis agnostic, rumble through their film career. Going from Assassins to Jupiter Ascending is quite a journey with many an ascent and descent along the way. Such as the note worthy V for Vendetta, the annoying blur of Speedracer and the fascinating but flawed Cloud Atlas.

Special time and attention is paid to the Wachowsikis' latest cinematic master piece Jupiter Ascending, which has proven to be a test of faith for Fan boy Leo and much ranting is to be had if you like that kind of thing. What is sure to be on nobody's like list is the political discussion surrounding V for Vendetta, if you feel the need to comment back on any of this please use our Facebook page, as I understand this website is the most common place to be complaining about Obama anyway.

Incidental Music by incompetech.com

Direct Link: https://archive.org/download/095TheWachowskis/095%20-%20The%20Wachowskis.mp3

Episode 94: 2005 - The Man For Whom Aeon Flux Was Made

eightiesrevenge@gmail.com (The Eighties Kids) — Thu, 26 Feb 2015 16:23:00 GMT

This week the 80s Kids are going to talk about 2005. Here we are, slap bang in the middle of the noughties and if this zero themed decade is about anything I guess it should be happening RIGHT NOW!

Looking over our selection it seems to be a year of torch passing, or at least torch dropping while other more successful flame bearers are getting on those sport shoes with the spiky soles and limbering up for a good run ahead defining the era. Very much in the stumbling camp are the relics of yesteryear greats.

The Star Wars prequels finally reach 'okay' on the watchability spectrum and calling it a day. Hitchickers Guide to the Galaxy finally expires with it's latest incarnation on our cinema screens bring an end to Douglas Adams twenty year ambition to tell exactly the same story over and over in every possible medium.

Spielberg's War of the Worlds stalls badly upon arrival on Earth, Charlie and the Chocolate Factory judders off the Burton production line and ends up in the reject bin and the Lion the Witch and the Wardrobe totally fails to enchant itself to a new generation of children.

Meanwhile the superheroes continue their campaign to dominate all cinema with the impressive Batman Begins and the not so impressive Fantastic Four. The stylistically violent nihilistic noir of Sin City and acceptable Keanu Reeves vehicle Constantine.

King Kong lumbers about like he owns the joint and as usual Potter dominates the year. This year also proved conclusively that Firefly fans really are a small tiny minority of an obscure short lived show with the failure of Serenity.

This might garner the film a extra special place in our sentimental hearts, but then Leo pointed out that while Firefly fans are few the total number of people for whom Aeon Flux was made for number only one, and that was him and him alone. Given the duty of geeks is to love the most obscure thing possible in favor of the mainstream we have named this episode in its honor. Incidental Music by incompetech.com

Direct Link:https://archive.org/download/094Films2005/094%20-%20Films%202005.mp3

Episode 93: Soundtracks

eightiesrevenge@gmail.com (The Eighties Kids) — Thu, 19 Feb 2015 16:11:00 GMT

So ... how did we come to discuss Soundtracks with the wrong Justin? Well, there is a saying in the Military: 'No plan survives it's first encounter with the enemy'.

The 80s Kids can now add to this wisdom with: "Don't make a recording schedule planning out the next six months worth of shows because it will fall to pieces and collapse into disorder at the first hurdle."

With Mr Wyatt suddenly away doing some artist thing the remaining 80's kids found their carefully laid plans thrown into chaos. In in times of crisis we did what any level headed set of individuals might do. ie: Blame the guy who's not there to defend himself, fire him and hire a new Justin.

And so into our Podcast comes Justin 2.0. Faster, leaner, deadlier and with a complimentary set of cup holders thrown in for free. We then plucked the topic of 'Soundtracks' out of thin air and mouthing off our ill researched thoughts into microphones we recorded this show.

So please, sit back and relax as we welcome Justin Park to the podcast as we ramble on in an incoherent train of thought about the musical bits in Films. They do their best to spice up viewer emotions or at very least give a handy hint about how the film makers would like them to be feeling. Incidental Music by the irreplaceable incompetech.com

Direct Link:https://archive.org/download/093Soundtracks/093%20-%20Soundtracks.mp3

Episode 92: Space - The Final Boxset

eightiesrevenge@gmail.com (The Eighties Kids) — Wed, 11 Feb 2015 15:55:00 GMT

This week the 80s Kids are strapping on their rocket packs, putting on their best rock quarry hiking boots and setting their story arcs to stun. Yes, this week we're discussing the long running space operas of the Noughties.

A quick glance at the rows of boxset on my groaning DVD shelves reminds me this will cover such things as the sexy obsessive and strangeness of Farscape, to the overly serious plot rambling Battlestar Galatica reboot. From the dismal inbred mutant that was Enterprise to Roddenberry's illegitimate spawn Andromeda.

From Stargates Atlantis to Universe and back again. Strap in tight as we set nostalgia to lightspeed, it's time to fly out into the great beyond and seek out new opinions and insights as we boldly return to where many a geek as gone before. Incidental music by incompetech.

Direct Link:https://archive.org/download/092SpaceTheFinalBoxset/092%20-%20Space%20the%20Final%20Boxset.mp3

Episode 91: 2004 - Alien King Arthur of the Dead and the Catwoman of Azkaban Versus Predator Sky Captain Helsing's Spiderford Wives Team America of the Spotless Robot

eightiesrevenge@gmail.com (The Eighties Kids) — Fri, 6 Feb 2015 14:37:00 GMT

Delayed by a mere 24 hours episode 91 is finally here!

This week the Decade trotting trio confront the Bombs and Booms of 2004's Film choices! I'm sure I can fill a few sentences with humorous and informative descriptions of what we talked about. But really, doesn't the films of 2004 sum it all up already?

I really feel I'd be repeating myself if I went into any more detail about which films in particular. I mean, google the darn year and you'll see this is the time of Van Helsing, Catwoman, I Robot, King Arthur, The Third Harry Potter Film, Team America, District 13, AvP, The Chronicles of Riddick, Spiderman 2, Hellboy, The Stepford Wives, Bourne Supremacy, Man on Fire, Shaun of the Dead and Blade Trinity to name but a few.

With our rose tinted glasses we predictably rifle our way though this jumble of date collected movies, offering opinions on the fly on the remembered big hitters and the forgotten bombs of this yesteryear ... erm .... year.

If you don't know what the 80s kids are like by now ... well ... you're very much like the other 99.999999999999% of the internet, so why not stand out and give us a listen? Incidental Music by incompetech.com

Direct Link:

https://archive.org/download/091Films2004AlienKingArthurOfTheDead/091%20-%20Films%202004%20-%20Alien%20King%20Arthur%20of%20the%20Dead%20and%20the%20Catwoman%20of%20Azkaban%20verses%20Predator%20Sky%20Captain%20Helsing_s%20Spiderford%20Wives%20Team%20America%20of%20the%20Spotless%20iRobot.mp3

Webcast Special 1: The 80s Kids Almost Live!

eightiesrevenge@gmail.com (The Eighties Kids) — Thu, 5 Feb 2015 13:05:00 GMT

Panic not 80s Kids enthusiast! For the regularly scheduled programme is not absent, no, merely delayed. But it is Thursday and therefore new 80s Kids is programmed.

So in addition to a regular show this week, and at no extra charge, here is an audio version of a webcast the guys did earlier in the week. It's the dawn of a new age people, you no longer have to picture the kids picking their noses, spilling salsa down themselves or finding interesting things in their ears during a show.

No. Now you can see it as it happens!

Yay.

After a shaky start the Kids get down to a brief discussion of hiring big name actors to provide voice talent for animated features, and then, like that they are gone.

See, that sentence would have worked so much better if you could have seen me deliver it. There will be further opportunities for live interaction to come but for now enjoy the glory of the things that were. Music (as ever) by Incompetech.com

Direct Link: https://archive.org/download/WebCast00180sKidsAlmostLive/WebCast001-80sKidsAlmostLive.mp3

Episode 90: The 80s Kids ABC Of Movies - DEF

eightiesrevenge@gmail.com (The Eighties Kids) — Thu, 29 Jan 2015 10:56:00 GMT

It's story time once more as the 80s kids return to their alphabet themed ascent through the films they just want to talk about some more. This week films beginning with D, E or F!

Leo's D is definitely something of a collection of films within his collection of films. Justin's D is quite honestly dreddful and deals with worthy social issues such as effective policing in built up innercity areas. Ian's D is the most horrific and depressing children's film ever made. Seriously Ann Frank is a mad cap comedy musical about hide and seek by comparison.

Leo's E is a riveting exploration of the politics of urban development after the ruling monarch makes an ass of himself. Justin's E is a traditional English fairy tale... so murder, rape, incest with almost everyone dying at the end is what we should expect! Ian's E is a charming story of friendship that forms between three boys after they decide to follow their dreams and aim for the skies.

Leo's F will have your eyes out on stalks! Well, one of your eyes out on a stalk anyway and not the either ones you expect! Justin's F features an FBI agent who's literally quite besides himself after a police hunt for a dangerous terrorist actually goes very well. And finally Ian's F will feature the post apocalyptic survivors of a polygon world trying to come to terms with the sudden arrival of a pretty CGI dragon! Incidental music by incompetech.com

Direct Link: https://archive.org/download/090The80SKidsABCOfMoviesDEF/090%20-%20The%2080_s%20Kids%20ABC%20of%20Movies%20-%20DEF.mp3

Episode 89: The Usual Bad Movies

eightiesrevenge@gmail.com (The Eighties Kids) — Thu, 22 Jan 2015 10:53:00 GMT

What do Battlefield Earth, Ninja Terminator, Equilibrium, Highlander II, Catwoman and the Twilight Saga all have in common? Easy, they are unquestionably BAD movies. Not just the bottom pile 'Some had to come last' kind of Bad, I mean awful failures of culture kind of bad.

And yet even in the cesspool of cinema we find different hews and flavors of wretchedness. Sometimes it's just the singular creative vision of one man who's ability is in fact far below his own estimation; sometimes it's because a film is made so fast and for so little money that all choices made were in the lap of whatever they could think to do when the camera turned on; sometimes it's a frustrating mix of actual talent being smothered by fundamentally poor core ideas; sometimes it's because the script just kept changing depending on what day of the week it was; or maybe sometimes it was doomed from the outset because it's based on a book that is in any objective sense awful.

So please come join us as we look over some of the most infamously terrible movies and have nice chat about it all and watch us hope against hope that a bad film can gets so awful it loops right around and becomes hilariously good again. Incidental Music by Incompetech.com

Direct Link: https://archive.org/download/Rot80K089/089-Terrible.mp3

Episode 88: 2003 - Early Superheroes And Late Career Exits

eightiesrevenge@gmail.com (The Eighties Kids) — Thu, 15 Jan 2015 10:48:00 GMT

The passing of Sean Connery out of the world of film making forever is not likely to be the first thing one thinks about when recalling the year 2003, this is partly because League of Extraordinary Gentlemen is quite forgettable and because it was a REALLY busy year film wise.

Return of the King wrapped up the acclaimed Tolkien epic to the sound of many relieved awards and of course Marvel were very much out in force this year, although it's clear now the mass popularity of their present day incarnation was brought with the sweat, tears and failure of earlier films such as Hulk and Daredevil, and according to Leo X2 is looking ropy for it's age now too.

The glut of Films we had to see this is is noticeably up, and other franchise are more than happy to join in the Partly. But if 2003 is remembered for anyone's departure it's likely that old rusty cyborg Mr Schwarzenegger hanging up his mini gun and also making his film making exit with forest mushroom clouds wiping out humanity. Really after that a career in high office politics was a shoe in. Incidental Music by incompetech.com

Direct Link: https://archive.org/download/088Films2003/088%20-%20Films%202003.mp3

Episode 87: Horribly Cheap

eightiesrevenge@gmail.com (The Eighties Kids) — Thu, 8 Jan 2015 10:43:00 GMT

The new year is a great time for putting aside old grudges and starting fresh with all things. So naturally the 80s Kids are going to take this opportunity to have a jolly good moan and bring up old grievances. You know, just generally do their uppermost to earn those grumpy old men points.

The focus of Leo and Ian's withering dissatisfaction with week is the anemic generation of so called Horror movies currently thriving down the local cinema. Back in the glory days of the 80s Horror meant disturbing Monsters and gruesome dismemberment prosthetic effects ... or at least something that was shocking and physiologically scaring to watch. These days it's tedious found footage and cheap jump scares.

Frankly we've had enough and we have an hour's worth of moaning about it. It's not just cheap and lazy, the latest wave of horror is the death of innovation. But with Horror being a relativity successful side industry of cinema this humble podcast is as likely to be taken seriously as that guy from the ending of "The Body Snatchers". Incidental Music by incompetech.com

Direct Link: https://archive.org/download/087HorriblyCheap/087%20-%20Horribly%20Cheap.mp3

Episode 86: Back To Back To The Future

eightiesrevenge@gmail.com (The Eighties Kids) — Thu, 1 Jan 2015 10:33:00 GMT

Happy New Year! And what better time is there to talk about Back to the Future than 2015? The mythical far away date which we saw in the second film. Now we're here hover boards are sadly not a reality, neither are hydrated pizzas.

Nevertheless, with the much loved trilogy quickly heading to a time where , ironically, all of Back to the Future will be set in the past it seems an appropriate time to give the series an 80s Kids reevaluation. From the much loved first film, which seems to barely put a foot wrong with it's tight script, memorable characters and brilliant casting, to the eclectic sequel with it's mind bending time twisting plot, to the 'Wraps it all up in a bow' final western themed film that left us all happy and satisfied.

If there is such a thing as a perfect trilogy Back to the Future is a likely candidate. So please come join us as we set our time machines for 1985 and learn again all about believing in yourself, the power of love and the hatred for manure. Incidental Music by incompetech.com

Direct Link: https://archive.org/download/086BackToBackToTheFuture/086%20-%20Back%20to%20Back%20to%20the%20Future.mp3

Episode 85: A Very 80s Christmas Show

eightiesrevenge@gmail.com (The Eighties Kids) — Wed, 24 Dec 2014 10:28:00 GMT

The 80s Kids are back for another Christmas Adventure! What starts out as a Festive clip show turns into madness and chaos when Justin delivers a message so terrible the others can barely believe it.

What follows next is a perilous journey for survival and freedom through a world crafted by their arch nemesis Michael Bay. Menaced at their every turn Leo and Ian must face Big Bay's unsettling agents with their gratuitous special effects and nonsensical plot logic out to ensnare them.

And no matter who wins one thing is for sure ... The 80s Kids will never be the same again ... Wow ... this is just like EastEnders isn't it? Incidental Music by incompetech.com

Direct Link: https://archive.org/download/085AVery80sChristmasShow/085%20-%20A%20Very%2080s%20Christmas%20Show%20.mp3

Episode 84: The 80s Kids ABC Of Movies - ABC

eightiesrevenge@gmail.com (The Eighties Kids) — Fri, 19 Dec 2014 10:22:00 GMT

It's story time at 80s Kids Towers and Leo is sitting down to concoct a tale inspired by the selections in this new format short run 80s Kids series: The 80s Kids ABC of Movies.

It's all pretty simple really. As we have wound our way through the myriad films of three decades certain films have, inevitably, ended up by the wayside. Some years were so bursting with potential conversation starters that the odd gem got left behind along the way.

The ABC is a way to redress the balance as our three intrepid adventurers select three films per episode whose titles start with a group of hand-picked carefully chosen letters.

In the first in the series the letters are ABC as all letters have been chosen alphabetically. There will be a special no-prize not issued to the listener who can guess what the next three carefully selected letters will be. Shall we? Lets.

Incidental music: "Sneaky Snitch" by Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com)

Direct Link: https://archive.org/download/0084ABC01/0084-ABC01.mp3

Episode 83: 2002 - Everything Is Awesome... Mostly

eightiesrevenge@gmail.com (The Eighties Kids) — Thu, 11 Dec 2014 10:15:00 GMT

It's 2002, the year when a lot of the darkness and edge that Hollywood had been striving for in the 90s started to crystallise. The Bourne Identity reinvented espionage, Blade II reinvented vampires and Attack of the Clones brought the burgeoning field of incoherence to new levels of depth and complexity.

The 80s Kids had a great time in 2002 and aren't afraid to let their emotions show on the topic. Good thing for them that they don't live in the world of Equilibrium, both for plot-relevant reasons and because Leo still believes it is the worst film he has ever seen in a cinema to date.

On the subject of the underwhelm aside from the aforementioned clones we also had the Potter film most universally agreed to be "a bit meh" Chamber of Secrets and the forgettable sequel to Men in Black so snoozeworthy it's not even discussed in passing. To protect us from the parade of mediocrity are a number of exciting new developments and spectacular labours of love to go along with Bourne. This is, after all, the year of Raimi's Spiderman and Spielberg's Minority Report.

Can anyone declare the year which brought us Death To Smoochy, Cypher and The Transporter a failure? Can the 80s Kids? Turn on, download and find out. Incidental Music by Incompetech

Direct Link: https://archive.org/download/083Films2002/083%20-%20Films%202002.mp3

Episode 82: Noughties TV - Short Lived Joys

eightiesrevenge@gmail.com (The Eighties Kids) — Thu, 4 Dec 2014 10:05:00 GMT

This week Leo makes the bold claim that all Noughties TV series can be split into two categories. Those that had more than three seasons and those which had less.

Well, I expect most of you are thinking: "No Shit" but as Leo points out there are very few shows that got exactly three, normally if you get that far the fourth season is in the bag. So this week we tuck into the poor children who only had one or two years worth of shows before the deadly axe fell.

What we have is a collection of small briefly shining gems, unresolved arcs, curio eggs, the mundane, the muddled and directionless and the justifiably axed for reasons of public good taste. These shows for whatever reason occupy only a small space on the DVD shelf but today they're getting more time than their due as the 80s kids munch their way through these bite sized series.

Also Firefly. Incidental Music by Incompetech.

Direct Link: https://archive.org/download/082NoughtyTv1/082%20-%20noughty%20tv%201.mp3

Episode 81: So Bad We Smelt It Coming

eightiesrevenge@gmail.com (The Eighties Kids) — Wed, 26 Nov 2014 10:00:00 GMT

Every so often one becomes aware of a up coming film whose destiny as a much maligned flop seems so obvious that it's stunning it's got a cinema release at all. Surely somewhere in the process someone should have stepped in and said something.

Yet somehow at every single stage, from the initial pitch, to the casting, the choice of director and marketing there has been a dramatic failure in quality control. While it might be impossible to say for sure a film will be a hit until the movie going audience judges it the reverse is not true. Indeed we here at the 80s Kids humbly submit that sometimes the stink of a movie can be so bad we can smell it coming a mile away. Most topically on our minds right now is the up coming 'Fantastic Four' reboot, of which we have heard very little that inspires any kind of 'Wait and see' sense of doubt about the radical re-imagining of Marvel classic comic series.

Every comment and leak seems to add another layer of dread and Leo and to a lesser extent Ian are all to happy to have a good moan about it all. This leads on to a wider discussion of bombs we saw coming in hopes of gleaning some kind of vital formula that we might disclose for the betterment of all mankind. Incidental Music by Incompetech.com

Direct Link: https://archive.org/download/081SoBadWeSmeltItComing/081%20-%20So%20Bad%20We%20Smelt%20it%20Coming.mp3

Episode 80: 2001 - The Year We Make... Not Much Worth Talking About, And Fantasy Movies

eightiesrevenge@gmail.com (The Eighties Kids) — Thu, 20 Nov 2014 09:59:00 GMT

Well, I won't pretend to be anything other than a wimp ... but I ... Ian ... am a tad unwell. So I'm going to shirk my duties and do a short write up this week. So to be brief: In 2001 Fantasy lands big time and gets much talked about.

Meanwhile the 90s goes through it's dying spasms with a heap of forgettable movies that should never have been made. Oh that was easy. I should be lazy more often! Incidental Music by Incompetech

Direct Link: https://archive.org/download/080Films2001/080%20-%20Films%202001.mp3

Episode 79: Doing It For The Fans

eightiesrevenge@gmail.com (The Eighties Kids) — Fri, 14 Nov 2014 09:59:00 GMT

This description is going to be a bit lax for several reasons. Firstly, to play the sympathy card, Ian has not been well, hence the lateness of this ep. He edited the slippery customer, like a hero, but it's Leo here posting it. Hello.

Secondly, we recorded it together several weeks ago now and my recollection of what actually transpired may be a bit hazy. See, I can't even commit to how well I remember the incident. Shameful. I remember we were, unsurprisingly, talking about fans and how much of an influence they should be allowed to have on a creative project. Should one embrace them, or is that a disastrous move.

Should one, then, ignore them, or is that imprudent? There seem to be no easy answers, which probably explains why we chose it as an episode subject. So down the rabbit hole we go once more as we discover that the whole episode is, in fact, an extended discussion of why it is Leo has recently been working for payment in individual desk-based rotor air-cooling devices... Oh, the embarrassment.

Direct Link: https://archive.org/download/079DoingItForTheFans/079%20-%20Doing%20it%20for%20the%20Fans.mp3

Episode 78: 2000 - A New Springtime For The Kids

eightiesrevenge@gmail.com (The Eighties Kids) — Wed, 5 Nov 2014 09:55:00 GMT

At last the 80s Kids land on the shores of the Noughties and set to work the task of reviewing the films of this fresh millennial year. A year that is not so much known for it's genre busting iconic films and more for necessary evolutionary steps.

No one could call the first X Men movie anything other than functional but it puts down another vital stone on the path to our modern cinema. And Pitch Black proves highly successful due to it's Riddick genes of course. But as with all evolution there are dead ends, TITAN AE failed to find its audience and has only faded in time due to its virtue of being a cartoon.

And the old Terminator Arnie is besides himself in clone action thriller "6th Day" making him a very literal 80s fossil. But all in all, and obviously excluding "Battlefield Earth" there really wasn't anything so terrible or offensive about this new start. Other than Leo gushing about Battle Royale of course ... but as a former teacher I suppose he finds some glee in the messy affair.

Incidental Music by incompetech.com

Direct Link: https://archive.org/download/0782000ANewSpringtimeForTheKids/078-2000-A-New-Springtime-For-The-Kids.mp3

Episode 77: Whatever Happened To The Evil Genius?

eightiesrevenge@gmail.com (The Eighties Kids) — Thu, 30 Oct 2014 09:54:00 GMT

In horror and Sci Fi of old the trope of the Mad Man ascending to new levels threat with the use of his knowledge was a well established archetype. Be it the white coated scientist with his dangerous theories that set him above nature and God or the Alchemist or dark occultist out to seize forbidden esoteric knowledge. They include fictional luminaries from Victor Frankenstein to Forbidden Planet's Dr Morbius and even Dr Herbert West of the Re-animator. Once they were a staple of story telling, now they are all but extinct in film and cinema.

This week in a ghoulish Halloween episode of the 80s Kids the terrible trio muse of the curious absence of the Evil Master Mind and via the medium of an hour long discussion podcast they attempt to unlock the mystery of their disappearance ... toying with forces they barely understand in the process.

Incidental Music by incompetech.com

Direct Link: https://archive.org/download/077EvilGenius/077-Evil-Genius.mp3

Episode 76: Resurrection Of The Noughty Children

eightiesrevenge@gmail.com (The Eighties Kids) — Wed, 22 Oct 2014 09:51:00 +0100

This week the 80s kids dig perhaps not so deeply into their long memories and summon back into existence their Noughties counter parts as they recount their changing lives and cinema visits during the first decade of the new Millennium. From Ian's cultural high life in Bath to his exile in Victoria Australia. From Justin's struggle to make it as an illustrator and quest to find friends who share his passions to his fateful meeting with Leo. From Leo's job hopping, city moving adventures to settled married life.

The Noughties were a time of a grown up kind of change for our batch of now 20s going on 30s pod-casting heroes. But most importantly they recount their experiences of seeing the films of this period, when they were fresh new and all sparkly and what is was like to actually be there. It's our usual scout head prior to starting a new decade. And along the way lies all that came just before the slice of time we are all living now.

Direct Link: https://archive.org/download/076ResurrectionOfTheNoughtyChildren/076-Resurrection-of-the-Noughty-Children.mp3

Episode 75: Video Game Cinematics

eightiesrevenge@gmail.com (The Eighties Kids) — Thu, 16 Oct 2014 09:34:00 +0100

With our humble show progressing into the 2000s, Leo's thoughts turn to Video Games and the growing blur between what is a 'Cinematic Experience' and what constitutes a 'Game Experience'. In the days of old 'Story' and 'Character' were something of the text heavy RPG variety, be it the Story Rails attached to a turn based combat system or the 'point 'n' click' puzzle game. Then all of a sudden the consoles suddenly got just complex enough that game designers could treat us to lengthy engagingly acted cut scenes that assured us our tough guy with guns was three dimensional beyond his polygon count.

Suddenly games could be immersive and engaging worlds and the player could at last experience something like actually being there. Some games based on film franchises dispensed with retelling an actual film and instead set their stories in 'Officially Licensed' enclaves of their movie universe's canon. Others built their own universes, now followed and wiki'ed with detail orientated enthusiasm by passionate on-line communities.

This week the 80s Trio reflect on the memorable video games they played that crossed the Story - Game divide. From the PS1 classics to the roaring days of the PS2 and Xbox, to the rise and fall of the MMO and to the modern Video Game triple A block busters.

Incidental Music by Incompetech

Direct Link: https://archive.org/download/075VideoGameCinematics/075-Video-Game-Cinematics.mp3

Episode 74: Top 5 Films of the 90s - The Redemptioning Part 2

eightiesrevenge@gmail.com (The Eighties Kids) — Wed, 8 Oct 2014 09:28:00 +0100

And so the final hour of the 90s has come at last ... But as the sun sets on this much maligned ten year period the 80s kids have one final task to perform, finish their top 5 films of the decade they all claimed to have very little love for. Tricky.

Nevertheless our full quartet of 80s Kids will rise to the challenge: Sue's Number Two choice proves people will do anything these days to get off television and Justin's number two involved a lot of confused children stopping strangers in the street and asking for directions in French.

Ian's number one involves post apocalyptic babysitter getting into a crazy caper and Leo's number one film of the 90s is famous for many things, one of which is spoon denial.

And with that done the Sun rises, FINALLY, on the 21st century and the 90s are now but a memory. This is what we call a happy ending!

Incidental Music by Incompetech.

Direct Link: https://archive.org/download/074Top5FilmsOfThe90sTheRedemptioningPartTwo/074%20-%20Top%205%20Films%20of%20the%2090s%20-%20The%20Redemptioning%20Part%20Two.mp3

Episode 73: Top 5 Films of the 90s - The Redemptioning Part 1

eightiesrevenge@gmail.com (The Eighties Kids) — Thu, 2 Oct 2014 09:25:00 +0100

As Winston Churchill once said: "This isn't the End, it is not not even the beginning of the End but it is perhaps the end of the frigging 90s!!" Yes it's that magical time again where 80s kids come together and finally fess up what their top 5 fav movies of that particular decade actually are.

This week we deal with numbers 5 to 3! Ian's number five is the charming tale of a small town entrepreneur starting a window cleaning business, Leo's Number Five is about a drawing contest and Justin's Number five was just well drawn.

Leo's number four is just so unreal, Justin's involves lots of bold men in leather, Sue's choice needs batteries much to Ian's annoyance.

Justin's Number three has skimpy outfits all round, Leo's number three has him quite beside himself but maybe that's because Sue's Number three choice has him looking like Death warmed up. Next week ... Number Two and One!

Incidental music by Incompetech.

Direct Link: https://archive.org/download/073Top5FilmsOffThe90sTheRedemptioningPart1/073%20-%20Top%205%20Films%20off%20the%2090s%20-%20The%20Redemptioning%20Part%201.mp3

Episode 72: Summer 2014 - Box Office Thunderdome!

eightiesrevenge@gmail.com (The Eighties Kids) — Thu, 25 Sep 2014 09:23:00 +0100

The Time has come to review our predictions of the winners and losers of summer 2014 brutal box office film grinder. To this end Leo takes us genre by genre through the various players educating us on the ebb and flow of fortunes.

Some interjection is made by Justin and Ian, who can just about elbow a word in here or there as Leo descends down the results which seem to be both predictable and surprising at the same time. From the unloved "Edge of Tomorrow" to the retro childhood of "Guardians of the Galaxy", the sad fate of "Noah" and the 'boo hiss' winning but still somehow losing fortunes of Big Bay.

Were we wrong about everything? I do wonder why people listen to anything we say sometimes.

Direct Link: https://archive.org/download/0722014SummerReview/072%20-%202014%20Summer%20Review.mp3

Episode 71: Robin Williams

eightiesrevenge@gmail.com (The Eighties Kids) — Thu, 18 Sep 2014 09:20:00 +0100

The news of Williams's tragic death shocked the world. He was beloved by millions as both a great comic and serious actor. The people who knew him spoke of a generous warm human being who took much time to be concerned with the welfare of others.

Perhaps that is why the grim knowledge of his depressive last hours seem to cut so deeply. If only he had known that the world was ready to pour out it's affection, love and support for him. And in many ways it's that fact that looms largest in our minds this week as we cast an eye over his vast career.

No one disputes he was a great 'funny man' and yes he could effortlessly draw the audience to sympathize with him in his more sentimental roles but when you take a moment to really stand back and appreciate his body of work, his abilities and the values he strove for it's hard not to feel ashamed of not noticing all this before his death.

Williams was a gifted comic genius and an acclaimed actor who starred in a number of classic films and by all accounts a very decent human being too. It's hard to call his life tragic if that is what he left behind for us. Incidental Music by Incompetech.com

Direct Link: https://archive.org/download/071RobinWilliams/071%20-%20Robin%20Williams.mp3

Episode 70: 1999 - The Phantom Baytrix

eightiesrevenge@gmail.com (The Eighties Kids) — Wed, 10 Sep 2014 13:01:00 +0100

And so at last the 80s Kids face this last final servings of the 90s years and boy are they going to party like it's 1999. The calendar period once dubbed "The Year That Changed Cinema" comes for closer examination this week, and while it does gloriously have "The Matrix" ready and waiting to drag us into the new millennium it's not without it's normal convoy of 90s clown car flicks.

From the muddled Schwarzenegger apocalypse action thriller "End of Days" which features the dullest Satan yet conceived in fiction, to the 'nothing happens' shoddy student home movie "Blair Witch Project" whose camcorder yawn-scares still plague films to this day.

Also there was another Pierce Brosnan Bond movie ... we're just not sure which one, they kind of all blur together. And of course, sitting like some kind of 90s end of level boss is the "Phantom Menace". And yet there is good here.

"The Matrix" of course, twisty endy "Fight Club", and 'totally saw it coming' twisty endy "Sixth Sense" (yes we actually liked it), "South Park" turns it's offensiveness up to 11 and "The Mummy" ... yes ... "The Mummy". It was a solidly fun adventure film, so there.

And here we are in the twilight of the 90s ... this week we send that wretched decade down one of Lucas's bottomless shafts with a swirl of our light saber... then all walk slowly away Hollywood style as the 90s explodes behind us.

Direct Link: https://archive.org/download/070PhantomTheBaytrix/070%20-%20Phantom%20the%20Baytrix.mp3

Episode 69: 1998 - Two Death Space Rocks And A Big Lizard

eightiesrevenge@gmail.com (The Eighties Kids) — Thu, 4 Sep 2014 12:53:00 +0100

You know, I do try and think of something original to say in these blurbs other than ... "Oh look another 90s year and it's a mixed bag offal" but I find myself doing just that yet again. And we had high hopes for 1998 with gems like "The Truman Show" about but then you see the dross and boy does '98 have plenty of that!

A Woeful selection, from disjointed "Lost In Space" movie to the not even trying "Star Trek Insurrection", from missing the point "Godzilla" to the pointless "X Files Movie'. Seriously this decade can't be over with soon enough. At least some fun was had by Leo with "The Avengers" (not those ones), and Justin bizarrely loved "Meet Joe Black."... I'm not sure what Ian gets out of this year... oh that's right ... NOTHING!!

You know what. I'm just over it. I really am... It's blurb time and I can't be bothered. Who reads this anyway? Can our bleak nihilistic journey through the 90s get any worse? Oh... and we get to talk about a Robin Williams movie where people who commit suicide get sent to dark hideous hell where they're emotionally tortured by their twisted inner demons forever in a haze of madness without any hope of escape or relief EVER. Humm .... yeah ... our "What Dreams May Come" discussion feels kind of awkward now.

Well I guess that puts all my 90s moaning into perspective. Incidental Music by Incompetech.com

Direct Link: https://archive.org/download/0691998TwoDeathSpaceRocksAndABigLizard/069%20-%201998%20-%20Two%20Death%20Space%20Rocks%20and%20a%20Big%20Lizard.mp3

Episode 68: Plagiarism

eightiesrevenge@gmail.com (The Eighties Kids) — Fri, 29 Aug 2014 12:49:00 +0100

Although reasons vary for Leo's absence this week the fact remains that Ian and Justin are bereft of their verbose chum and must make do without him. Initially they were both excited by this prospect feeling a quick ten minutes worth of chattering was well within their ability ... then it was pointed out they would also have to fill in all the gaps where Leo would normally have spoken and a serious silence descended over both of them as to how they would fill this hour.

Lacking an original idea they have stolen one and decided a discussion on the subject of "Plagiarism" was a worthwhile idea. It is of course the age old trade of taking someone else successful work or formula and hoping you pass it off as your own for fun and profit. From film to TV, from comics to novels the cheap knock off is a common place thing but Justin opens up instead on the subject of animation where it's not uncommon for ideas to get stolen BEFORE they even hit the cinema.

So sit back and enjoy this cheap shoddy replica of an 80s Kids Podcast, this week very much lacking that official Leo hologram sticker.

Direct Link: https://archive.org/download/068Plagiarism/068%20-%20Plagiarism.mp3

Episode 67: Luc Besson

eightiesrevenge@gmail.com (The Eighties Kids) — Thu, 21 Aug 2014 12:42:00 +0100

In a show shockingly, not to say "schlockingly", ripped straight from the headlines the 80s kids draw back the veil on a world of explosive action, magnificent martial artistry and death defying parkour when they open up the CV of euro-trash producer par excellence Luc Besson.

The kids are Transported into the murky world of District 13 where the Kiss of the Dragon could be Unleashed. Will they send back a coded message through the Lockdown barrier From Paris With Love regarding The Fifth Element or will they be Taken too soon?

But if you thought that guns, car chases and ridiculous plot twists was all Mssr Besson had to offer then you might be in for a surprise. Gasp along with the Kids when they discover exactly how busy the head of Europa Corp was in 2005, and marvel as he takes the directorial reins whenever he suspects that another director might just stuff up another one of his trademark strong and empowered female characters.

Indeed the 80s kids have a particular set of skills, those being to poke around in the career higlights of one of the hardest working figures of modern cinema. You'll need 100% of your brain capacity to contend with the broad ranging versatility and artistic agenda placed front and center. So grab hold of your multipass and let's hail an insane Taxi ride into a cinematic universe of glorious continental B-Movie madness.

Direct Link: https://archive.org/download/067LucBesson/067%20-%20Luc%20Besson.mp3

Episode 66: 1997 - A Year To Remember

eightiesrevenge@gmail.com (The Eighties Kids) — Thu, 14 Aug 2014 12:36:00 +0100

As with all 90s years this one had it'd share of awful films which for some reason we had to endure. Topping most worst films ever lists is the unloved Batman and Robin, is it REALLY as terrible as people remember? The answer is YES!

But lets not waste time here moaning about bad films again. Face Off, Fifth Element, Contact, Starship Troopers, Austin Powers and the Game were on hand to cheer us up. Also this year was a romantic historical set on a doomed boat. Unfortunately as this films falls beyond our remit of Action, Horror, Sci Fi and Fantasy we don't belabor our coverage of it. Oh no. Definitely not.

Direct Link: https://archive.org/download/0661997-a-year-to-remember/066%20-%201997.mp3

Episode 65: The Lost Poorly Distributed Universe Conspiracy

eightiesrevenge@gmail.com (The Eighties Kids) — Thu, 7 Aug 2014 12:18:00 +0100

And on goes the tin foil hat and out comes the large cork board with lots of coloured string connecting the tangled web of dots. Yes, it's conspiracy time on the 80s Kids. This week Leo kicks off with a jolly good moan about the unattainable chunks of culture that currently exists. Films and series for which there was no Video or DVD to track down on ebay and upon which much hand wringing can be done at their absence.

It's not that these thing won't make money it's just they won't make as much money as pumping out new or current releases of popular films or television. Then it's on to whine and gnash our teeth about the state of pricey downloads and fickle streaming services which further compound things with their uneven distribution. If one wanted to feel conspiratorial about these things you might conclude the powers that be have no interest in building an audience by allowing them to become au fait with long running cultural media, instead opting for the immediacy of what's hot now and tossing it away like an old toy it when it's no longer fresh.

This seems strangely at odds with Ian's choice of worry topic, that being the impending rush of 'Cinematic Universes' eager to copy Marvel's success. These pretenders being DC comics, Star Wars and Universal Monsters ... and these are just the ones we know are coming. Others are sure to follow. Then again aren't these properties just mining the past to recreate it in a wave of big, brightly colored but ultimately disposable media? It's time to wake up sheeple! The 80s Kids see the truth!!

Direct Link: https://archive.org/download/065TheLostPoorlyDistributedUniverseConspiracy/065%20-%20The%20Lost%20Poorly%20Distributed%20Universe%20Conspiracy.mp3

Episode 64: The New Arc Shows - Buffet The Episode Slayer

eightiesrevenge@gmail.com (The Eighties Kids) — Thu, 31 Jul 2014 12:14:00 +0100

And then 'Buffy' happened and somehow TV was just so much more interesting. But why? This week the 80s Trio tackle this and other questions as we delve into what was on the goggle box in the late 90s. Turns out 'Buffy' and 'Angel' aren't in fact all that ground breaking when you take it apart and look at the pieces but the whole hung very well together and it is the show that finally convinced the world that Story arcs could work.

Not that everyone was convinced, with shows like 'Mutant X', 'Voyager' and 'Sliders' still very much clinging to Roddenberry's great end credits reset button, but these are its dying days. Like a building storyline ending in a climax a wave of new shows came thundering in ready to embrace story progress like 'Charmed' or the sleazy and surreal 'Lexx' ... or for that matter the decade stomping 'Stargate'.

The UK also shone brightly as vampire lethal sunlight for the briefest of moments with the dearly missed and almost forgotten 'Ultraviolet', and the same channel that gave us that also gifted as the nerd joy that was Simon Pegg's 'Spaced.' Oh for sure, the late 90s had it's awful piles of crap like 'Andromeda' and the truly turgid 'Millennium' but overall the decade rounds off in interesting shape.

Direct Link: https://archive.org/download/064Late90sTV/064%20-%20Late%2090s%20TV.mp3

Episode 63: Hype

eightiesrevenge@gmail.com (The Eighties Kids) — Thu, 24 Jul 2014 12:12:00 +0100

This week Leo and Ian embark on an exciting and interesting discussion on the nature of 'Hype' and indeed 'Anti Hype'. Well... I say interesting, we found it so... or at least we found our conversation flowed okay. Not too sure about exciting now either, maybe it's best to manage expectations and just say this podcast is about 'Hype' and let everyone form their own opinions.

We of course take aim at our perennial archvillains of Lucas and Bay, both definitely guilty of having really wretchedly awful films that were oversold in the marketing department. Or that's like our opinion anyway. We also give much hand wringing about the ineffectiveness of the vitriol and hate Lucas and Bay garnish on the internet in any way effecting their box office takings.

Really hype is us, all of us, and with our clickbait, ranty review videos and modest podcasts we are just as much a part of this fan propelled wheel as anyone. Still at least Video games are worse when it comes to hype ... or at least that's the message we're trying to sell you. So please, if you must, come join us on our tiny podcast, it won't change your life ... but it's free what did you expect?

Incidental music by Kevin Macleod of incompetech.com

Direct Link: https://archive.org/download/063Hype/063%20-%20Hype.mp3

Episode 62: 1996 - It's Not Me, It's You

eightiesrevenge@gmail.com (The Eighties Kids) — Thu, 17 Jul 2014 12:09:00 +0100

And so the gang arrive at 1996 where the power of 90s mediocrity seems at its height with slew of below par action movies. Like a failing marriage people seem to be putting in the effort and saying all the right things but the magic just isn't there. 'Eraser', 'Independence Day', 'Broken Arrow', 'Dragonheart' and the like just don't seem to have any real shelf life.

In an effort not to get lost in another hour of moaning the 80s Kids try to remember some of the gems up front like 'From Dusk Till Dawn', "Star Trek First Contact', 'The Frighteners' and 'The Craft'... but even here favor isn't universal. Perhaps it's a year to enjoy smaller scale films like 'Trainspotting' or 'Fargo' as these seem to be the more iconic survivors. Oh well. Press on we must! And we take what pleasure we can pointing out the rising sun on the horizon.

It's not that we hate 1996... we just upon reflection we feel indifferent about it. Apologies for the variable sound quality of Ian this week, this is due to technical issues with the recording and wasn't obvious when the show was being taped.

Incidental music by Kevin Macleod of incompetech.com

Direct Link: https://archive.org/download/0621996-Itsnotmeitsyou/062%20-%201996.mp3

Episode 61: The Ultimate Patrick Swayze Retrospective

eightiesrevenge@gmail.com (The Eighties Kids) — Thu, 10 Jul 2014 11:52:00 +0100

In some ways it might seem like Patrick Swayze couldn't get a break. He was a versatile actor with a varied CV who never seemed to impinge upon the public consciousness beyond his turns in Dirty Dancing and Ghost. Although, when prompted many people also remember him for Red Dawn, Road House, Point Break and his seemingly idiosyncratic moment in Donnie Darko. But there was so much more to Mr. Swayze than this and the 80s kids are here to tell you all about those Swayze gems you may have missed.

As it happens they have missed many of them too. Justin, at one point, admits to having been puzzled that we should wish to take this extended look at the career of one of Hollywood's B-List actors. Well, much apart from the fact that "the Swayz" was an 80s icon, and we are the 80s Kids the career of the only man who could lend much in the way of credibility to a mullet is a far more textured and interesting thing than many of his contemporaries.

Maybe you weren't a member of the fan club before but by the end of this show we'll guarantee that you won't ever want to leave Patrick in the corner again.

Incidental music by Kevin Macleod of incompetech.com

Direct Link: https://archive.org/download/061TheUltimatePatrickSwayzeRetrospective/061-The-Ultimate-Patrick-Swayze-Retrospective.mp3

Episode 60: Creativity

eightiesrevenge@gmail.com (The Eighties Kids) — Thu, 3 Jul 2014 12:09:00 +0100

The Irony meter's little red needle was twitching healthily this week. Bereft of a topic idea we duly broke the glass on the "Emergency Podcast Filler" and out topped 9 minutes of audio cut from Episode 44 along with a note from us in the past saying: "These spoken words have been cut for time and relevance from it's show of origin but that discussion was lively and if at any time in the future we should be at a lose end we should 'PLAY IT' and discuss."

Much to the Irony meter's excitement the offered subject gifted to us to cover our lack of ideas was 'Creativity'. Leo is a writer, we know this from his never ending ambition nay compulsion to perform this task over and over again and his drive to be better at it. Justin is an Artist, a real one who actually illustrates for a living and has done so for companies you've actual heard of. Also Ian who ... erm ... Well ... he can use a word document and doodles on the back of what he prints out.

Regardless we do in fact have a small pool of genuinely creative people who love talking about themselves. So come join us as me muse on being all creative and how it might, maybe, one day, if you're both good and lucky ... turn a small profit. Incidental music by Kevin Macleod of incompetech.com

Direct Link: https://archive.org/download/060Creativity/060%20-%20Creativity.mp3

Episode 59: La Vengeance Du 80s Enfants

eightiesrevenge@gmail.com (The Eighties Kids) — Thu, 26 Jun 2014 12:07:00 +0100

Our humble podcast focuses primarily on the genre films of our era, that being the Horror, Sci Fi, Action and Fantasy. Descending down ... or is that up? ... through our years the observation was made that the foreign language films often take a year or two until they filtered though to us, making a review of them in their year of origin feel just slightly incongruous.

Thus in the wisdom of Leo THIS podcast has been put aside to to reflect and remember those classics. Unfortunately Justin must be off leaving poor Leo and Sue having to make do with Ian, a man who for various explained reasons has barely seen any subtitled films, and those he did were some time ago now and short of buying "Violent Cop" off Amazon or something he doesn't feel like he has many options for watching them legally. Or at least not easy or inexpensive ones.

So sit back and enjoy as Leo leads us on his remembered journey of encountering those foreign language films while Ian again and again assures him he hasn't seen any of them.

Incidental music by Kevin Macleod of incompetech.com

Direct Link: https://archive.org/download/059LaVengeanceDu80sEnfants/059-la-vengeance-du-80s-enfants.mp3

Episode 58: 1995 - Conflict At The Heart Of The Decade

eightiesrevenge@gmail.com (The Eighties Kids) — Thu, 19 Jun 2014 12:03:00 +0100

The year is 1995 ... and it's WAR! Never before has there been a year so divisive and wrought with opinion battle lines. Really it seems like the whole year has been designed to split opinions even after nearly two decades. We start with "Batman Forever" where opinions are at least somewhat united on loathing it, reasons are of course divided as to why but at least everyone is marching in the same general direction.

Bond returns with "Goldeneye" which in our opinion is just about the only Pierce Brosnan 007 that's worth a damn. "Bad Boys" looms into view with it's definitive example of 90s action ... but the long shadow of Michael Bay passes thought it. Oh well .. "Die Hard with a Vengeance" is another oasis of unified opinion. But then comes "Judge Dredd" which Justin, the greatest 2000AD fan in the building, is actually at peace with after the passing years, Leo and Ian are on hand to shake him.

"Johnny Mnemonic" is championed by Leo ... amazingly. Onto "12 Monkeys" which we can all agree is Gilliam's high point .... Leo disagrees. "The Quick & the Dead" proved to be another rare save point for our trio's unity. "Waterworld" is ranked as not that bad not actually a flop by Leo ... "Se7en" however is crucified for it's dumb ending by some. Furious words and insults are exchanged as the team bicker over "Usual Suspect" which Leo still loathes with a burning hatred ... much to the pain of Justin and Ian.

Still at least we can all rally around "Toy Story" and have a group love in on that ... well no .. Justin has harsh words for it. We end with "Hackers" and "Strange Days" which are both rated in turn as 'Terrible' and 'Too Long'. Really that's the year in a nut shell.

Incidental music by Kevin Macleod of incompetech.com

Direct Link: https://archive.org/download/0581995ConflictAtTheHeartOfTheDecade/058-1995-conflict-at-the-heart-of-the-decade.mp3

Episode 57: But It's Not Even Summer Yet

eightiesrevenge@gmail.com (The Eighties Kids) — Thu, 12 Jun 2014 12:01:00 +0100

One of our continuing missions here at our humble podcast is keeping an eye on the Summer releases and every so often taking some time to comment upon them. Well, it's been a while since we made our predictions on this years hits and bombs and we've certainly already had a ton of movies to get through so lets pause and reflect on what the Cinema Summer season has been like so far ... what with actual Summer nearly being upon us.

It really does feel like we've had a year's worth already, with its now standard heap of Superhero movies, mythic and historical epics with a dash of comedy and actual science Fiction creeping into view. While this year is thus far an improvement on the disappointment of the last year one can't help feel a slight wave of film fatigue at it all. We still have so much more to power through... is that fair to complain about? Shouldn't we want Hollywood to be giving us exciting reasons to head down the multiplex? And yet in this current movie cluster bomb aren't otherwise decent films getting squeezed?

Regardless. Lets join Leo and Ian as they digest this year in cinema so far! Have Marvel's Powers started to fade or are they still this lumbering caped monster of films today? What about Disney? What about Noah? What about that volcano in Pompeii? Well, grab a nice cuppa and come join us for a good old natter about it all. We promise we won't put the whole Kingdom to sleep.

Direct Link: https://archive.org/download/057ButItSNotEvenSummerYet/057-but-it_s-not-even-summer-yet.mp3

Episode 56: The Terminator Wears Prada

eightiesrevenge@gmail.com (The Eighties Kids) — Thu, 5 Jun 2014 11:59:00 +0100

Since the dawn of time marketers have been very keen to sort products into various categories from which they can then be successfully advertised to whichever demographic is deemed to purchase them the most. And no greater divide in the free market exists than Men and Women. Apparently two entirely separate life forms with few overlapping interests.

This perverse partition is particularly notable in film, where women are deemed to enjoy romance, cartoons about princesses and 'based on a true story' movies of the week where women learn the hard way that all men are bastards. Men meanwhile enjoy EVERYTHING else film has to offer and really, if a woman enjoys those too it goes to show how broad minded she is in her interests.

This week we debate "Women's Films" and, to show how even handed we are, a full third of our panel is women. We challenge this cruel division of tastes, brought on mostly by male advertising executives failing to figure out why women watch films, and set about blurring the cultural gender front lines.

Instead we learn Sue likes shopping for shoes and Sex in the City ... perhaps undermining EVERYTHING we set out to do ... so Ian bravely admits to liking one or two 'girl' things himself ... for which Leo calls him queer. With everyone suitably embarrassed for challenging social conventions be assured the usual male dominated hetero-normative perspective will reassert itself next week.

Direct Link: https://archive.org/download/056TheTerminatorWearsPrada/056-the-terminator-wears-prada.mp3

Episode 55: What Was The Best Year To Be A Film Student?

eightiesrevenge@gmail.com (The Eighties Kids) — Thu, 29 May 2014 09:15:00 +0100

Speaking hypothetically, what WOULD have been a good year to have been a film student? Oh for sure no matter what year you pick you're likely still going to have to endure an awful lot of classes about the history of cinema, with the same required viewing of the flickering screen's established giants, Eisenstein, Lang, Wells, Kubrick, Hitchcock or the beloved Mr M Bay.

And you'll be inculcated, willing or otherwise, into the historical landscape of the collapse of the studio monopoly, the rise of the auteur and new wave this and European cinema that ... but at the the end of the day you still have to toddle off down the contemporary big picture house and see and essay upon films of your day.

With this in mind what WOULD have been a good year to have been a film student? This week our three heroes each throw down their own opinions on just that. Starting with Justin who's choice of year will leave you disenchanted with no clear resolution, except perhaps that the status quo you so rebelled against your youth will be what your lurch back towards in our later years as your dreams of a better tomorrow fade in the light of an unsympathetic reality.

All of this lost innocence might prove to be all the angst and cynicism a Film Student could possibly crave for. Ian meanwhile will have none of this. Armed with his three criteria he has selected the best possible year to have fun mucking about making films with your mates ... a highly enjoyable activity you just can't do once this University thing is over with. Also easily digestible movies who's mechanical workings can be extracted and examined upon by even the poorest student of film ... and for the "Film is art Crowd" Ian's year covers them too.

But then in rocks Leo, last but by no means least, who merely has to read off the menu his year has to offer to whet the appetite of Film fans of any conceivable persuasion. But who's year is the best? Lets listen and find out!

Incidental music by Kevin Macleod of incompetech.com

Direct Link: https://archive.org/download/055WhatWasTheBestYearToBeAFilmStudent/055-what-was-the-best-year-to-be-a-film-student.mp3

Episode 54: 1994 - Mary Shelly's Pulp Fiction And Other Comic Books

eightiesrevenge@gmail.com (The Eighties Kids) — Thu, 22 May 2014 09:10:00 +0100

It's hard not to sum up this '1994' Episode as 'Just another one in the 90s' and saying it with a deep sigh. So to shake things up a little we open with Leo's thesis on the state of comic books in the 90s and the result film offerings we have to enjoy this year, "The Crow" and the "The Mask" are the more well known adaptions, "Time Cop" was a surprising adaptation, "Blankman" was not an adaption of anything other than one man's Nerd-phobia that never should have seen the light of day and "The Fantastic Four" which didn't. Which is a shame we feel.

'Was this a good year to be doing a Media Course with Film studies?' Ian asks, remembering back to that fateful year when he and Leo were doing just that. Oh the sweet memories of arguing over "Mary Shelly's Frankenstein" with a lecturer. And of course "Pulp Fiction" the movie that enchanted film students of the period, much to their current shame.

Sure, we might have bitter words for Tarantino now, but as a film in it self what do we make of it? "Natural Born Killers" was Oliver Stone's bastardized Tarantino script, which induced a bitter headache in Leo. Good times.

Onward we go for our action hit with Schwarzenegger's "True Lies" to the glee of Justin and Stallone's "Specialist" which no one can remember in any detail at all. Then they all hurry past "Speed". Ian beams up to the doomed Enterprise D to give a good telling off to all involved in "Star Trek Generations." "Stargate" And "Leon" were also this year and we note their presence as their long term effects were not felt or appreciated at the time.

Also a glut of 90s turkey is ready for our gang to eat with "Street Fighter" and "Blown away". We round off by musing on "Interview with a Vampire" which apparently is not as good as people thought at the time ... and really that sums up the 90s in a nut shell.

Direct Link: https://archive.org/download/0541994MaryShellySPulFictionAndOtherComicBooks/054-1994-mary-shelly_s-pul-fiction-and-other-comic-books.mp3

Episode 53: The Wasteland of early 90s TV

eightiesrevenge@gmail.com (The Eighties Kids) — Thu, 15 May 2014 09:06:00 +0100

This week our Trio rummage deep into their old, dog eared copies of the TV Times and cast their minds back to the Genre TV series of the early 90s. For the UK it was a poor offering, having axed Dr Who the BBC deemed it unnecessary to replace it with anything. Red Dwarf seemed the only game in town, that and the cripplingly dire "Crime Traveler" or the misshapen "Bugs". Science fiction seemed to bubble out on anything but actual drama, surviving on game shows like "Interceptor" or "Crystal Maze."

The doctrine was clear, post Star Wars people expected special effects with their Sci Fi and TV couldn't do that, it was American imports like "Star Trek - The Next Generation" or do without. Thankfully Next Gen was prospering quite well, along with "X Files" and any other half way decent Genre show on Sky Satellite channels. For terrestrial viewers they had to make do with the lack lustre also rans like "Sea Quest" or the 'little low budget show that could', "Babylon 5".

The thing is America was also having a hand in special effects lite fantasy shows like "Early Edition" or "Quantum Leap" which frankly made a mockery of the idea Genre TV was too expensive. Anyway ... "New Adventures of Superman", "Hercules" and "Xena" also rolled about being objects of enjoyment for at least some period of their run. But really this is the bit in history that TV makers of the future would refer to as "Before Buffy" and after that everything changed. But that's a story for another time. For the moment it's very much make do and mend.

Direct Link: https://archive.org/download/053TheWastelandOfEarly90sTv/053-the-wasteland-of-early-90s-tv.mp3

Episode 52: 1993 - Super Jurassic Demolition Hog Day Before Christmas

eightiesrevenge@gmail.com (The Eighties Kids) — Thu, 8 May 2014 09:02:00 +0100

The gang are then lost forever as the podcast loops over and over again with "Groundhog Day" which can only mean one thing ... This week our 80s quartet have found themselves in the Dinosaur ridden land of 1993 where they try to stave off cinematic extinction with the films of the year.

The first fossil to be uncovered is the not so faithful adaptation of the popular jumping plumber video game "Super Mario Brothers" although Sue would rather just talk about its soundtrack. On the subject of Dinosaurs we come to Schwarzenegger and Stallone. The gang eagerly take to their seats with magic tickets in hand and get sucked into the land of movies where The Governator takes the piss out of himself to the apparent amusement of few. Meanwhile Sly strikes back with a double whammy of "Demolition Man" and "Cliffhanger" amazingly taking the 'Best Action Hero of the Year' title off Arnie despite his last offering being Terminator 2. Nevertheless be assured Schwarzenegger will be back!

Did you know the "Three Musketeers" was this year? And actually it was quite good fun? Well it was. Maybe you were too busy being wow'd by the CGI of "Jurassic Park" and getting all excited by dinosaurs and the potential of the visual imagery that was yet to come. Little did we realize then how tiresome both would soon become. Meanwhile the rest of Hollywood is hiding from the Raptors in "Tombstone" apparently.

Then our gang go on the Run with a grumbling Harrison Ford in the "Fugitive" which was very exciting at the time but these days who wants to watch it all again? It's enough to drive you into a killer rampage like in "Falling Down". Ian wishes to gush over his award winning Plasticine and it's celebrated wardrobe malfunction and many agree. Justin massages his Tim Burton gland with "Nightmare before Christmas." Leo rounds off with "The Vanishing" where he attempts to discover why this film is so totally forgotten.

The gang are then lost forever as the podcast loops over and over again with "Groundhog Day" which can only mean one thing ...

Incidental Music "Hidden Agenda" by Kevin Macleod of incompetech.com 'Super Mario bros' game theme copyright Nintendo and used under fair use.

Direct Link: https://archive.org/download/0521993SuperJurassicDemolitionHogDayBeforeChristmas/052-1993-super-jurassic-demolition-hog-day-before-christmas.mp3

Episode 51: It's Highly Controversial

eightiesrevenge@gmail.com (The Eighties Kids) — Thu, 1 May 2014 12:39:00 +0100

Controversy!

Throughout the land people have been wringing their hands and gnashing their teeth about it. Angry letters were written to the editor and questions asked in parliament because of it. Newspapers demanded action and people took to the streets in numbers to protest over it. It was the only things spoken about in bars and over the water coolers. It divided neighbours, broke families, partitioned whole communities and parted the Red Sea!

Controversy!

And no matter your opinion on it we all agree if nothing else it was very controversial!

This week our 80s crew throw caution to the wind and weigh in on the thorny topics of their cinematic era. From Video's controversial beginnings, to the infamy of the Video Nasties, the use of controversy to fill cinema seats in the 90s and beyond into today's post internet fragmented world, where what is offensive depends on the individual more than any kind of collective moral standard.

We would issue a warning about the controversial content of this week's show but we're betting you're so thoroughly desensitized to all things shocking and profane that the lack of drug taking, sex and casual violence in our podcast is likely the most disturbing thing about our show. Still, at least we have our ingrained racism to fall back on if the need requires.

Direct Link: https://archive.org/download/051ItSHighlyControversial/051-it_s-highly-controversial_.mp3

Episode 50: The Anniversary Behemoth

eightiesrevenge@gmail.com (The Eighties Kids) — Thu, 24 Apr 2014 12:36:00 +0100

Yee Gawds! Has it been a year since the 80s Kids began this odyssey? Apparently it has. Oh well any excuse for a party. And the theme of this one is marvellous, wonderful favourite things. And in this week's double length bumper podcast we tackle THREE each.

So let the speculation begin! What are our Number one choices? Sue's first choice involves a prolonged tea break, Justin will gush over the joy of nepotism, Ian's will either kill your or dive you insane and Leo's first favourite thing involves many happy memories reading the Shakespearean obituaries.

Our second batch of much loved things ups the game. Sue's choice is very heavy, Justin is delighted about his gateway drug that left him spoiled for choice, Ian speaks at length about his love for convoluted time travel plots NOT involving Dr Who but rather something else with more bite and Leo proudly unleashes his wheel of fate powered by cogs.

And the Third? Well ... Sue likes playing god with the lives of ordinary people, Justin has famous last words to the puzzlement of many, Ian decides to end it in a bloody shoot out in which all our heroes die and Leo's final choice sends the surviving 80s kids to sleep. Really. What more could you ask for?

Incidental music composed or available from Kevin Macleod's invaluable website incompetech.com

Direct Link: https://archive.org/download/050TheAnniversaryBehemoth/050-the-anniversary-behemoth.mp3

Episode 49: 1992 - Reservoir Kids

eightiesrevenge@gmail.com (The Eighties Kids) — Thu, 17 Apr 2014 12:33:00 +0100

There can be no clearer symptom of 90s rot that to examine the sad turn the Alien franchise took this year with its bleak, nihilistic descent into death. A further example of a beloved 80s film series going off the boil would be "Batman Returns" although a more appropriate title might have been "Penguin Arrives".

Fortunately the 80s kids are here and more than ready to mete out some well deserved revenge. Lurching out blinking into the moon light comes "Bram Stoker's Dracula", presumably named such to avoid confusion with all the other Dracula films based on the same book. Despite fleeting moments of brilliance the Prince of Darkness staggers disappointingly back to its crypt once again, allowing younger, fresher vampires a stab at the jugular.

They sadly ran headlong into "Buffy the Vampire Slayer" and much like how Buffy deals with Vampires this film is badly executed. All the same, this is the year of "Reservoir Dogs", the film that put Quentin Tarantino on our map. Sadly the passing years have not been kind to his once loyal 80s kids fanboys who do little but stand and watch while Sue and Leo give our once loved writer director a real ear full. And not in the Mr Blonde way.

The dark connection between Steven Seagal and Wesley Snipes its mused on but really everyone was far too distracted by Sharon Stone crossing her legs in "Basic Instinct". Then things go a little surreal as David Lynch proves beyond any doubt that Twin Peaks fans have in fact been wasting their time all along. And thus the "Candy Man" was summoned to dispense his usual hook/bee based justice upon the transgressing films of 1992!

Incidental Music "Cool Vibes" by Kevin Macleod of incompetech.com

Direct Link: https://archive.org/download/0491992ReservoirKids/049-1992-reservoir-kids.mp3

Episode 48: Raiders Of The Lost Fridge

eightiesrevenge@gmail.com (The Eighties Kids) — Thu, 10 Apr 2014 12:31:00 +0100

With Justin freshly rescued from his Tomb the 80s Kids reckon this is fine time time to discuss that most prolific of grave robbers and his exploits on the silver screen. That's right, Indiana Jones! So shake the dust off your hat, throw on your brown leather jackets and act like you really do know how to use a bull whip.

This week is like an out of control Mine cart and it stops for no one. 'Raiders' might belong in a museum but that doesn't stop Justin and Ian stealing it and gushing over it with nostalgia saturated love. Then Leo breaks up the party by informing them he doesn't quite "get it" causing many heads to explode.

The powers of Spielberg and Ford are mused on as well as 'Raiders' rolling boulder-like impact on the films and culture that came afterwards. Then comes 'Temple of Doom' and its many traps made from political correctness gone mad. While Ian might have found it a bit grim its eat your heart out time for Justin.

Then it's off to rescue Dad in 'Last Crusade' where deep and meaningful questions are asked like... should Nazis be funny? You know, with the holocaust and everything. Whatever you might think we all agree it was a fine end to the series.

Only it wasn't... yes... we talk about that other film too.

Once again Lucas proves there is no part of your childhood you can possess, that he cannot take away. "Labeouf, I hate that guy."

Direct Link: https://archive.org/download/048RaidersOfTheLostFridge/048-raiders-of-the-lost-fridge.mp3

Episode 47: A Trip Down The Playstation Memory Card Solid

eightiesrevenge@gmail.com (The Eighties Kids) — Thu, 3 Apr 2014 12:29:00 +0100

20 years ago the Playstation was a new thing and the 80s Kids suddenly found themselves to be console owners and felt very pleased with themselves about being at the forefront of contemporary popular gaming. The PSX (for this was what it was called back then) was a wonderful unassuming grey box that dispensed 3D polygon entertainment and also played your CDs.

It's dizzying host of games came in charming square boxes that went 'clack' when you thumbed your way through the second hand bin at "Electronic Boutique". The controller was an iconic friendly grey colour and third party peripheries where everywhere. Who didn't own a play station back in the day other than really bitter people who clung on to the Saga Saturns or N64s?

It was a revolution in popular gaming and everyone, everywhere seemed to be having fun and SONY was a magical, wonderful company. This week Leo and Ian look back on those times and games through their rose tinted glasses and gush over the games that sucked time away from doing something productive with themselves in the 90s.

Incidental Music "Basement Floor" is composed by Kevin Macleod of incompetech.com "Codec sounds" and "MGS Game over theme" Copywrite Konami and used under fair use.

Direct Link: https://archive.org/download/047ATripDownThePlaystationMemoryCardSolid/047-a-trip-down-the-playstation-memory-card-solid.mp3

Episode 46: 1991 - Judgment Day For The Prince Of Thieves

eightiesrevenge@gmail.com (The Eighties Kids) — Thu, 27 Mar 2014 12:34:00 GMT

You know it's going to be one of those years when even Captain Kirk feels like calling it a day and retiring. Meanwhile on the planet Zeist the natives are restless and children are hallucinating Rik Mayall to the amusement of no one.

Even Peter Pan is a bit rubbish in 1991, having decided he wanted to leave Neverland and grow up to be the none zany version of Robin Williams, actually zany Robin Williams can't even be found in a Terry Gilliam movie. That's 1991 for you.

What else did this year have? LA Story? Naked Lunch? Oh dear … Lets pack it in all and go counter culture, bond with our friends over extreme sports and robbing banks with Keanu Reeves who for his crimes is killed a sent to hell, his only chance to escape is to beat Death a twister. Then the Rapture happens but no one saw it. But all is not lost, flying in to rescue the year is the Rocketeer and teleporting in from the future is a cyborg assassin reprogrammed to be a babysitter much to the joy of all.

Hannibal Lecter arrives to collect his academy award before taking Jodie Foster out for dinner. Don't tell me 1991 not worth fighting for! Because it's true, everything I do, I do it for you.

Direct Link: https://archive.org/download/0461991JudgmentDayForThePrinceOfTheives/046-1991-Judgment-Day-for-The-Prince-of-Theives.mp3

Episode 45: 1990 - Nineteen Eighty Ten

eightiesrevenge@gmail.com (The Eighties Kids) — Fri, 21 Mar 2014 12:30:00 GMT

Fleeing from the modern day tyranny of Michael Bay our three heroes finally arrive in the year 1990 and set about unravelling the mystery of why the 90s sucked so bad when it came to films. And yet the year is heady with the sweet after scent of the 80s with only a vague murmur of the horrors to come later. Could the rumors be true? Is this really the fabled year Nineteen Eighty Ten?

Things start out with Leo, Justin and Ian squeezing into the delorean and driving by the horde of sequels at 88 mph. "Robocop 2", "Predator 2", "Back to the Future 3", "Exorcist 3", etc ... before finally getting their ass to "Total Recall" where our trio gush once more over Schwarzenegger and Verhoeven. Memories restored Leo fondly invokes "Darkman" and the fact half the script is the name 'Julie'. Justin retreats into timeless fairy tale land with the bleak but emotional "Edward Scissorhands", whom is highly praised for not running.

Meanwhile Ian puts on a shell suit and wags his nunchucks excitedly about to the puzzlement of all. Near Death follows with "Flatliners", followed by everyone clambering over the furniture to stay off the ground for a "Tremors" discussion and general strangeness breaks out for "Wild at Heart". But in the end theirs no avoiding "Ghost" ... will the guys bless it as it ascends in a column of light or will they cast it down into the horde of shifting, howling shadows? Listen and find out.

Incidental music "Hit Man" composed by Kevin Macleod of incompetech.com

Direct Link: https://archive.org/download/0451990NineteenEightyTen/045-1990-Nineteen-Eighty-Ten.mp3

Episode 44: Return Of The 90s Bros Rated E For Extreme

eightiesrevenge@gmail.com (The Eighties Kids) — Thu, 13 Mar 2014 12:27:00 GMT

And so we arrive at the dreaded 90s ... long have the 80s Kids spoken in terror at its coming and lamented its harvest of awful films. But most of all, how can we have a podcast called "Revenge of the 80s Kids" that about an entirely different decade?

Well, it's because our defiant trio lived through those ten years and came through it with the campaign medals firmly nailed on their chests. Time for a flash back episode! It's time for our 80s Kids to grow up leave home and at some point along the way, meet each other.

In the meantime, what's on at the pictures? YES! Our band of 80s heroes this week cast their minds back and try to think of the films they actually went and saw on the BIG Glowing Rectangle during the 90s.

Along the way we hear the story of how Justin traumatized his Mum with a family visit to the pictures, of Ian's supreme failure to see the Count of Monte Cristo and Leo's disgust at a film he calls "One of the seminal texts as to why 90s films were awful".

Incidental Music by Kevin MacLeod of Incompetech.com

Direct Link: https://archive.org/download/044ReturnOfThe90sBros/044-Return_of_the_90s_Bros.mp3

Episode 43: Summer 2014 - Swords, Sandals, Superheroes and Sci Fi

eightiesrevenge@gmail.com (The Eighties Kids) — Thu, 6 Mar 2014 12:24:00 GMT

The ever expanding Summer release schedule is that special time of year when studios let loose their best movies. Like chicks pushed from the nest and wrapped in a blanket of warm hope these films are sent off to the glowing arch way of the box office. There they'll be ushered before the great viewing public to do battle for popularity or at very least kill the competition in some kind of bloody and humiliating way.

This arena of duelling films couldn't possibly commence without our favourite three 80s boys placing lots on who'll be the winners in this years Film-off. So come join us in our royal box as we inspect this years fighters. And what a crop we have! The return of Captain America, Spider-man and just about all the X-Men who ever were. The Biblical flood defying alcoholic Noah and no less than two Hercules with a side order of extra Spartans.

Also Rising from the grave like something no longer a trilogy comes another unwanted Transformers movie but the shape changing monster trucks are dwarfed by the long shadow of Godzilla, ready to eat your Planes and Dragons no matter how well you've trained them. But while the bets are being placed on the coming box office melee and who will be the winner it's clear the 80s Kids have a soft spot for Guardians of the Galaxy and a troop of anthropomorphic Monkeys. Will they prevail? Well. We don't know yet. That answer is months away. In the meantime here is an hour of free speculation.

Direct Link: https://archive.org/download/043Summer2014/043-Summer-2014.mp3

Episode 42: Rebootcops

eightiesrevenge@gmail.com (The Eighties Kids) — Thu, 27 Feb 2014 12:22:00 GMT

Did they have to? Well, they did! And it's up to the guys to worry about it all. We are of course talking about the much loved and dismissed Reboot of Robocop. Ian and Leo, having freshly consumed the NEW Robocop, sit down to digest and regurgitate it all, then flannels in hand they try picking over the fetid mess looking for where this meal went wrong.

Really it's hard not to declare "Even trying" and calling it a day but Leo is determined to find the film's silver penny and shining it up for us to think about. Then as if by magic Justin appeared and the discussions moved on to the whole issue of reboots and why they're just bad, except when they're not.

Leo has an epiphany about taking things too seriously, Ian wishes they'd called it "Drone Policeman" instead and Justin is shocked and dismayed we've got to do this all again next year with "The Terminator".

Direct Link: https://archive.org/download/042Rebootcops/042-Rebootcops.mp3

Episode 41: Top 5 Films Of The 80s Grand Slam - Part 2

eightiesrevenge@gmail.com (The Eighties Kids) — Thu, 20 Feb 2014 14:31:00 GMT

This week our heroic trio finish off recounting their personal top five films from the 1980's! Having vanquished numbers 5, 4 and 3 last week all that remains is to hunker on down and chew through their remaining top two. Of course the joy of it all is they don't know what each other has picked and so it is entirely possible they've all selected exactly the same films making this a somewhat short blunt episode of general agreement and consensus.

Either that or it's going to be a lengthy debate over up to six films with heated words and ruthless disagreement over each others pithy choices. Well, either way here we are. Cometh the hour cometh the Top Five films of the 1980's from the perspectives of Messrs Justin, Ian and Leo.

What will their last two films be? The Second best films of the 80's: Will Justin's choice be so brilliant we can't even look at it? Will Ian's be a short film? Will Leo's have a showdown at the top of a very tall building? And finally the Number one best film of the 80's: Will Justin's choice make us ask profound questions on the human condition? Will Ian's make us ask 'Who's the Daddy?' and lastly will Leo's final choice have a showdown at the top of a very tall building? Let us find out together!

Direct Link: https://archive.org/download/041Top5FilmsOfThe80sGrandSlamPart2/041-Top-5-Films-of-the-80s-Grand-Slam-Part-2.mp3

Episode 40: Top 5 Films Of The 80s Grand Slam - Part 1

eightiesrevenge@gmail.com (The Eighties Kids) — Thu, 13 Feb 2014 14:27:00 GMT

This week our Trio finally sit down and begin the lengthy process of confessing what their personal top FIVE movies of the 1980s actually are. They don't know what each other has picked, so not only will this be a journey of discovery but suspense too as it is totally possible they picked the same movies and will have to nervously laugh it off.

So, sit back and enjoy the start of the epic ramble as the 80s Kids lay bare their kinks and quirks. What will the verbose meta spinning Leo pick for his Number 5? Will it require a black board with diagrams to explain?

What about the artistically balanced Justin? Will his Number 4 make your head pop open? And of course the Sci Fi obsessive Ian, will his Number 3 make you want to throw yourself out an airlock? Well. Lets find out!

Incidental music “Monkeys Spinning Monkeys” by Kevin McLeod of incompetech.com

Direct Link: https://archive.org/download/040Top5FilmsOfThe80sGrandSlamPart1/040-Top-5-Films-of-the-80s-Grand-Slam-Part-1.mp3

Episode 39: Bad Relationship Advice (The Hunger Games Discussion)

eightiesrevenge@gmail.com (The Eighties Kids) — Thu, 6 Feb 2014 14:23:00 GMT

This week Leo and Ian sit down to have a pleasant chat about Child Murder as the official sport of the state and how grateful they are the rebellion is over. But first some unpleasant business needs sorting out as Ian issues forth a grovelling apology to George Lucas while Leo crows over Quentin Tarantino's latest woes.

With all that out the way our two heroes dive forth into an epic chin wag over Teenlit's latest sensation to strike a pose at the cinema, “The Hunger Games” series. Much musing is done as to why this grim dystopia where young adults die horribly is such a unique hit while so many other pretenders to “Twilight's” legacy have died off.

Much could be made of the series' love triangle but despite much prodding it doesn't seem to be the answer for our two bemused heroes, so the Wife is called into action in the hopes of finding a resolution and she promptly sets about bombing Teenlit's obsession with bad relationships into the ground, probably forever.

Direct Link: https://archive.org/download/039BadRelationshipAdviceTheHungerGamesDiscussion/039-Bad-relationship-advice-The-Hunger-Games-discussion.mp3

Extra: 1989 - Responding To A Response

eightiesrevenge@gmail.com (The Eighties Kids) — Tue, 4 Feb 2014 14:18:00 GMT

This is not an actual episode, you'll be getting one of those in two days as normal. This is a little something else 'EXTRA'. We had a comment upon our 1989 show and felt duty bound to respond with our spoken words and manic hand gestures. As it turns out we rambled on rather too much and this was now way too long to include in our next show. So in an effort to respond sooner rather than later we're putting it out as an extra ahead of the podcast it was intended for. Enjoy.

Direct Link: https://archive.org/download/Extra1989RespondingToAResponse/Extra%20-%201989%20Responding%20to%20a%20Response.mp3

Episode 38: 1989 - Greg Evigan Vs Batman Vs Slipstream Vs Justin's Sanity Vs Shatner Vs God

eightiesrevenge@gmail.com (The Eighties Kids) — Wed, 29 Jan 2014 14:14:00 GMT

This week our trio (+ wife) tackle the films of 1989. They brave serious threat to life and limb by gushing over James Cameron once again, fortunately this director has surely peaked with the 'Abyss' and so we confidently predict we won't have to prattle on endlessly about him in the 90s.

Oh wait…

Meanwhile Timothy Dalton seeks an unregulated killing in his final Bond film and Justin's head explodes with the inanity of 'Slipstream'. DC's 'Batman' spreads his dark rubbery wings and begins his cinematic crusade for justice while Marvel's 'Punisher' goes full Dolph Lundgren.

Sue again recalls fondly 89s timey wimey air disaster romance puzzle 'Millennium' while Ian sighs “BOHICA” as he tries to enjoy 'Star Trek V.' Leo then takes us on a whistle stop tour of 89's action movies before formally identifying the mutilated corpse of 'Erik the Viking'. These are the last films of the 80s and this is our survivor’s tale.

Direct Link: https://archive.org/download/038Films1989GregEviganVsBatmanVsSlipstreamVsJustinSSanityVsShatnerVsGod/038-Films-1989-Greg-Evigan-vs-Batman-vs-Slipstream-vs-Justin_s-sanity-vs-Shatner-vs-God.mp3

Episode 37: When Leo Met Ian And The Cultural Soup They Swam In Together

eightiesrevenge@gmail.com (The Eighties Kids) — Thu, 23 Jan 2014 13:58:00 GMT

No Justin this week, so Leo must face the brave task of rebuilding Ian's shattered psyche alone. The formally Dr Who obsessed 80s kid has been brainwashed and has gone full 'Bronie'. If he cannot be brought back from his confused amnesiac state he will be lost to a magical world of small flying pastel shaded horses forever.

And so a trip down memory lane begins as Leo regresses Ian back to the time they first met in the early 90s while on a Media course. There he further provokes Ian's identity to reassert it self by reminding him what a deeply sad Dr Who fan he was, even back then. But Leo's smugness soon fades when he realises he himself is just a character from Twin Peaks.

Together they swim further in the cultural soup of their lad-hood and the films, TV, books and other media that were so current at the time: X-Files, Terry Pratchett, Quentin Tarantino, Independence Day and Cypress Hill. It's all in the mixer today as our 80s kids remember that time they were 90s bros.

Direct Link: https://archive.org/download/037WhenLeoMetIanAndTheCulturalSoupTheySwamInTogether/037-When-Leo-Met-Ian-and-the-cultural-soup-they-swam-in-together.mp3

Episode 36: 1988 - Yippie Ki Yay Muddy Funster

eightiesrevenge@gmail.com (The Eighties Kids) — Thu, 16 Jan 2014 17:18:00 GMT

This week the terrible trio arrive in the ripening year of 1988 and set upon its films with their usual vigour. It is the year of 'Die Hard' and trust us, we don't forget it. Indeed memories of other action flicks this year do not come easily. Justin and Ian turn their childhoods up to 11 and gush over 'Who Framed Roger Rabbit?' provoking the largely indifferent Leo to unleash Sue upon them and put an end to their unfounded enjoyment of this movie.

Beetlejuice is revisited and a moment is taken to muse on 'The Naked Gun' which is definitely not as funny as it used to be. Indeed there is a bit of 80s malaise starting into set in with a heavy glut of sequels culled from the decade's earlier successes, but before they can ponder this fully a small cube shaped puzzle box sends everyone to hell. Clawing their way out of the underworld the Revengeful Three note the films tumbling pass them into the void; the 80s lingering Fantasy genre finally expires with 'Willow'. Also vanishing never to be seen again is "Earth Girls are Easy' and 'Young Einstein' with its disturbing menu.

Direct Link: https://archive.org/download/036YippieKayYayFilmsOf1988/036-Yippie%20Kay%20Yay%20Films%20of%201988.mp3

Episode 35: A Podcast Worth A Thousand Words

eightiesrevenge@gmail.com (The Eighties Kids) — Thu, 9 Jan 2014 17:15:00 GMT

Although none of those words are spoken by Ian, sadly absent from this week's cast but fondly remembered by Leo and Justin who get down to business talking about films with that particular visual flair. Never ones to steer clear of the clashing rocks of cliche we steer full steam ahead into asking an artist what it is he likes in the cinema generally.

We talk Burton, we talk Gilliam and while we're at it we talk Kubrick, Hitchcock passes through on the way somewhere else. As the visual medium is dissected we necessarily revisit the topic of CGI versus practical and the increasing difficulty of telling them apart.

Finally we visit the new breed of CGI-fest film a la, and specifically, Sin City and 300 which are not designed to mask their CG roots, but rather revel in being a highly stylised visual feast, is this a great thing or a menace?

Direct Link: https://archive.org/download/035APodcastWorthAThousandWords/035-A-Podcast-Worth-A-Thousand-Words.mp3

Episode 34: Year Of The Biscuit - Films 2013/2014 A Look Back And A Look Ahead

eightiesrevenge@gmail.com (The Eighties Kids) — Wed, 1 Jan 2014 17:13:00 GMT

Emerging from the flaming wreckage that was 2013 come three striding silhouettes. Two of them somewhat portly. These are the 80s Kids and during the somewhat lengthy inquest that follows the trio reflect on the films of the year just gone.

For all his talk about Iron Man 3 Leo still clutches his Thor 2 hammer most fondly, Ian still clings to his battle worn Jaeger as it sinks below the surface of the top 10 grossing films of the year and Justin wishes he really hadn't listened to all the nay sayers and had actually gone to see “Oz the Great and Powerful" instead of "Star Trek Into Darkness". But with their mourning for 2013 over with the 'Revengeful Three' look ahead to 2014.

Leo ruminates on coming Marvel Films, Justin wonders what's with all the Bible films in the pipe line and Ian lays the foundations for the year of the baked savoury consumed best with tea or coffee. The Year of the Biscuit starts HERE!

Direct Link: https://archive.org/download/034YearOfTheBiscuitTheFilmsOf2013And2014ALookBackAndALookAhead/034-Year-of-the-Biscuit-The-films-of-2013-and-2014-a-look-back-and-a-look-ahead.mp3

Episode 33: The Eighties Kids Lost Christmas Episode

eightiesrevenge@gmail.com (The Eighties Kids) — Thu, 26 Dec 2013 17:01:00 GMT

The cast of the original 80s Kids cartoon show reunite for this special christmas episode. Find out the relevance of pink custard, particularly when contained in a blue earthenware jug; why you might not want to go out for milk when there are aliens about; what Fortnum and Mason started serving in 1886 (Real Trivia Fact!); and what happened to the *real* Ebenezer Scrooge in this crazy sci-fi adventure from the people who brought you loads of rambling discussion about 80s movies. Sound Effects and music from the following sources: http://www.freesfx.co.uk http://www.freesound.org and http://archive.org

Direct Link: https://archive.org/download/033EightiesKidsLostChristmasEpisode/033-Eighties-Kids-Lost-Christmas-Episode.mp3

Episode 32: Pre Christmas Indulgences

eightiesrevenge@gmail.com (The Eighties Kids) — Fri, 20 Dec 2013 09:20:00 GMT

It's the week before Christmas and the 80s Kids turn their minds to a most vexing topic. Films that they like that they are fully aware are hated by most of the rest of the world. Some choices have even caused divides within the group. This leaves the discussion to proceed along two paths.

One, what redeeming quality does someone find in something most people agree to be drivel, and why do people hate movie/tv series x quite so much? Topics as diverse as Star Trek Voyager, Lady In The Water, Aliens vs Predator, Resident Evil and the Underworld franchise are on the table for discussion. Nobody mention guilty pleasures!

Direct Link: https://archive.org/download/032PreChristmasIndulgences/032-Pre-Christmas-Indulgences.mp3

Episode 31: 1987 - The Beginning Of The End (Of The 80s)

eightiesrevenge@gmail.com (The Eighties Kids) — Fri, 13 Dec 2013 09:12:00 GMT

It all starts off a bit masculine in this week's episode, how could it otherwise in a year that brought us Predator, The Running Man and Robocop? Before long though the discussion takes a distinct turn for the feminine as it behooves the present 80s Kids (Leo, Ian and Sue) to consider the wealth of female-oriented entertainment 1987 spewed out in bulk. And so goes the story of yet another proud 80s year.

There is a twist in the tale, however, for 1987 is where we first begin to detect the insidious presence of the 90s. 1987's failures were echoes of the cinematic wasteland to come. In addition we see the fading of such standards as the kiddie cast genre action movie in the sub-par Monster Squad (which is still a lot of fun but nowhere near the high point of the genre). Films such as Robocop and Wall Street told us our love affair with corporate excess and the free market was approaching its end and if Robocop signalled anything it was that the divorce would be messy.

On the other side of the coin the indie film-makers were sniffing around and the first signs of the massive indie explosion of the 90s were felt in titles like Hellraiser and Bad Taste. The winds of change had started to blow, but the 80s party is still far from over. Cling onto your neon lit, synthesizer scored rite-of-passage party, midnight is coming...

Direct Link: https://archive.org/download/0311987TheBeginningOfTheEndOfThe80s/031-1987-The-Beginning-Of-The-End-Of-The-80s.mp3

Episode 30: 1986 - Howard The Duck And Other Resignation Issues

eightiesrevenge@gmail.com (The Eighties Kids) — Thu, 5 Dec 2013 09:07:00 GMT

In an effort to save Ian from resigning in protest over the imminent discussion about the movie hence forth known only as “The George Lucas Duck Thing”. The whole team (Sue included) rally round to nurse him through the delights and joys of 1986's other film offerings. Like a quartet of greedy pigeons they take it in turns to peck away at 86's selection box and reminisce about such delights as Labyrinth, Flight of the Navigator, Star Trek IV: The Voyage Home, Aliens, Big Trouble in Little China, The Golden Child and the many other worthy experiences this year has to offer.

Then they pick over the bones as they get down to the dregs with Solarbabies and Wraith. Anything really than talk about that “The George Lucas Duck Thing”. But in the end, with support from Leo, Justin and Sue, Ian agrees with them that Sylvester Stallone's 'Cobra' is probably a worse offence to common decency than anything Lucas did that year.

Direct Link: https://archive.org/download/0301986HowardTheDuckAndOtherResignationIssues/030-1986-Howard-the-Duck-and-other-Resignation-Issues.mp3

Episode 29: 80s Kids Supreme Force Attack Base Available Now $129.99

eightiesrevenge@gmail.com (The Eighties Kids) — Thu, 28 Nov 2013 09:01:00 GMT

This week the 80s kids(tm) gleefully tackle their childhood cartoon memories and the many, many toys that came with them. From the MEGA sized toy financed American imports to the Epic sprawling French serials and also the wit and charm of the UK based Cosgrove Hall. Our decade themed trio finally have a subject they can all speak about with authority.

Justin (Batteries not Included) born an Artist, fondly remembers the visually stunning 'Thundercats' intro sequence and lovingly building his own 'Danger Mouse' Flying Car. Leo (Sold Separately) born a Story Teller, has a special place in his heart for the friendships forged over shared viewings of 'Dungeons and Dragons' or the imaginative hours lost playing with 'MASK' or 'GI Joe' toys with his pals. Ian (Choking Hazard) born Yesterday, recalls his never ending demands for more and more toys to fill his empty consumer heart and the various childhood traumas that came from seeing Optimus Prime slowly dying from internal injuries.

But only by combining together to form the gestalt “Eighties Kids-a-Tron” (Product may vary from Box Picture) can they hope to tackle 'He-Man' the most Fabulous man in the Universe and his indomitable toy range of lame associates. This is the 'Revenge of the 80's Kids: Eighties Cartoon Episode' and all the cool kids have one!

Hero Down Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com) Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 3.0 http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/3.0/

Direct Link: https://archive.org/download/02980sKidsSupremeForceAttackBaseAvailableNow12999/029-80s-Kids-Supreme-Force-Attack-Base-Available-Now-129-99.mp3

Extra: Day Of The Doctor Who Overload

eightiesrevenge@gmail.com (The Eighties Kids) — Sat, 23 Nov 2013 08:50:00 GMT

The 80s Kids sit down for a quick post 'Day of the Doctor' chat. Topics are rambling and many, from the shopping list requirements Moffat needed for the “Event”, John Hurt's sympathetic Non Doctor, the through line of the Doctor's character all the way from 1963 to the present, to regeneration limits, the vast unexplored future the series has laid out before us and much more.

Direct Link: https://archive.org/download/ExtraDayOfTheDoctorWhoOverload/Extra-Day-of-the-Doctor-Who-Overload.mp3

Episode 28: 1985 - Mcgann DEAD After Geriatric Spy Drives Delorean Commando Style In Brazil

eightiesrevenge@gmail.com (The Eighties Kids) — Thu, 21 Nov 2013 16:40:00 GMT

The 80s kids finally arrive in the year 1985! However after only a brief look at the massive list of films to cover they give up on the project almost immediately. Instead they gather up only 10 of the most memorable starting with probably 85's most identifiable screen offering, “Back to the Future”. Digestion begins.

Spielberg's long shadow is felt throughout, from the Goonies to Young Sherlock Holmes and Weird Science. It's the age of the young person having an amazing adventure, with thrills and laughs along the way. Unless your name happens to be Dorothy Gale, in which case things are looking very grim indeed.

Leo continues to follow Schwarzenegger's offerings with delight and glee while Ian recoils in nausea and exasperation at Roger Moore's now rather flaccid 007. Justin cheers him up with diversions in 85's more artistic film offerings with the visually stunning Brazil and Legend.

As usual Leo unleashes the Zombies to the indifference of some. On the subject of rising unexpectedly from the dead … Paul McGann returns to our screens as the Titular Time Lord for the first time in 17 years! As before his Dr Who vehicle crashes and burns, this time with startlingly different results. The 80s Kids muse on the implications in a nice chat at the end.

Direct Link: https://archive.org/download/0281985McgannDEADAfterGeriatricSpyDrivesDeloreanCommandoStyleInBrazil/028-1985-Mcgann-DEAD-after-Geriatric-Spy-drives-Delorean-Commando-style-in-Brazil.mp3

Episode 27: Dr Who Or What?

eightiesrevenge@gmail.com (The Eighties Kids) — Thu, 14 Nov 2013 15:26:00 GMT

This week Ian traps his fellow 80s kids in the labyrinthine maze of a Dr Who Quiz. There he assails Leo and Justin with teasing multiple choice questions. Their only respite in this humiliation are Dr Who related discussions ranging from childhood memories, the series' death in the 80s and it's barn storming rebirth in 2005, with Paul McGann's American TV movie falling somewhere in-between.

Despite the lucid and often insightful nature of Leo and Justin's reflections on all things Who, Ian totally undercuts their punditry by stumping them with questions the majority of 'real fans' would find trivially easy. But aren't the opinions of laymen viewers more insightful and balanced than the hard core obsessives? What qualities must New Who strive to retain if it hopes to keep broadening it's audience for another 50 years?

Who cares!? It's the one and only Dr Who edition of the 80s Kids!!! So get your sonic's ready, adjust your scarves and bow ties and prepare to have your nostalgia regenerated as we wander through the space and times of Dr Who. Leo deduces his answers, Justin takes a wild stab while Ian writes a wall of text rebuttal on a forum somewhere deep in the internet.

Direct Link: https://archive.org/download/027DrWhoOrWhat/027-Dr-Who-or-What.mp3

Episode 26: You Get What You Deserve

eightiesrevenge@gmail.com (The Eighties Kids) — Thu, 7 Nov 2013 14:56:00 GMT

Only Leo and Ian this week but they have BIG problems with BIG cinema. Discussions drift from the unloved Ender's Game adaptation to the lack of thought provoking films these days. But aren't we getting the cinema we deserve?

Between the internet's never-ending desire to see the world burn and the current "golden age of television" the big screen is being squeezed. Too big to fail they're playing to the lowest common denominator for as many humans on seats as possible. Spectacle and lots of explosions is something TV can't do, so it isn't surprising film production leans that way.

High budget, thought provoking films have been made and died unseen, worse, they died with hails of vitriol from the internet. But how is any of that the film maker's fault? With our dollars and pounds we've shaped the market we have now and show little sign of changing our habits. Leo has a lot to say, Ian just wants chicken.

Direct Link: https://archive.org/download/026YouGetWhatYouDeserve/026-You-Get-What-You-Deserve.mp3

Episode 25: Obvious Halloween Show 2013

eightiesrevenge@gmail.com (The Eighties Kids) — Thu, 31 Oct 2013 09:16:00 GMT

Here is the dilemma. Dilemma Prong 1: Do obvious Halloween show but risk being seen as, well, obvious. Dilemma Prong 2: Avoid the obvious Halloween show but irritate everyone because the obvious show is an undiscussed elephant in the room.

So we opted for prong 1. Although it has to be said, when the 80s kids recount their top 3 favourite Horror movie morsels there are some surprising choices. This probably stems from the fact that only one self-identifies as a horror fan, that being Sue. Ian is a self-confessed horror dunce. Leo watches all movies on their own merit and Justin... well, let's just say he claims not to know much about it but in the course of the show you may come to see him as a closet fiend fan.

So let's get into the spookiest topic we'll cover in 2013 and hopefully help you think a different way about your horror movie choices.

Direct Link: https://archive.org/download/025ObviousHalloweenShow2013/025-Obvious-Halloween-Show-2013.mp3

Episode 24: A Summer Of Various Disappointments

eightiesrevenge@gmail.com (The Eighties Kids) — Thu, 24 Oct 2013 09:11:00 +0100

It has become something of a tradition to look to summer movies for the provision of massive, popcorn swilling, eye-popping entertainments that swell the soul with awe and wonder. It has also become something of a tradition to look back over those summer seasons with a bittersweet recollection of highs and lows.

Some years the experience is a mixed bag with stand out happy moments in a morass of mediocrity and couple of real stinkers for good measure. Last year had a glistening high point in the shape of The Avengers and plenty of other similar fare for the discerning genre fan.

This year... well, this year one could not avoid disappointment wherever one turned it seems. Nowhere was there not a film underperforming at the box office, or letting down the fanbase, or just being thoroughly ho hum on every level. So it is that the 80s Kids turn their eye to consider the summer just gone and ask what hope for the future, if any, one can salvage from it.

Direct Link: https://archive.org/download/024ASummerOfVariousDisappointments/024-A-Summer-Of-Various-Disappointments.mp3

Episode 23: A Very Special Episode: Raiders of the Lost Arc

eightiesrevenge@gmail.com (The Eighties Kids) — Thu, 17 Oct 2013 08:55:00 +0100

In the synth-scored montage of the tale of the 80s kids, and how they got their revenge, this is a key plot moment indeed. This is our idea of A Very Special Episode, we're not going to be talking about issues, or facing up to the serious side of the world in some maudlin after school special, oh no.

This week we're a man down, work done has been lost due to technical error and even Sue was out. So Leo and Ian do what they do best, sit down and have a thoroughly beardy discussion about whether the current trend of story arc based television is such a good thing as everyone thinks.

After all, we're in a Golden Age of television, supposedly. If this is the case then why do so many series's lose their way, jump the shark and lose everyone's interest. Well, we don't know for certain, but we've got a few ideas...

Direct Link: https://archive.org/download/023AVSERaidersOfTheLostArc/023-AVSE-Raiders-of-the-Lost-Arc.mp3

Episode 22: The 'M' Word

eightiesrevenge@gmail.com (The Eighties Kids) — Sat, 5 Oct 2013 18:38:00 +0100

While Justin's away enjoying fame and fortune Ian & Leo are joined by Sue to talk about the recent hot topic of misogyny at the movies. It's been a summer when the 'm' word has been bandied about in connection with various movies, notably Star Trek Into Darkness and Riddick.

So we decided it was time to invite the wrath of the internet and blather our opinions (others of equal value are available) on the topic while there was a woman in the room. Somebody is about to be wrong on the internet.

Direct Link: https://archive.org/download/022TheMWord/022-The-M-Word.mp3

Episode 21: 1984 - Killer Robots Marshmallow Men Nightmares And Too Many Movies

eightiesrevenge@gmail.com (The Eighties Kids) — Fri, 27 Sep 2013 18:34:00 +0100

There's literally too much 1984 to fit into one episode this week as the kids take a good stab at cramming it all in to the one hour.

Obviously, they fail miserably, both in that they overrun and also in that they can't possibly get through everything even so. This was the year of Beverly Hills Cop, The Terminator, Ghostbusters, The Karate Kid and The Temple of Doom.

That's not even the full list of notables, so it inevitably gets a bit hectic. In the end, though, hectic is how we like things round here so let's get together and hold on tight for the first run through one of the most cinematic years in living memory.

Direct Link: https://archive.org/download/0211984KillerRobotsMarshmallowMenNightmaresAndTooManyMovies/021-1984-Killer_Robots_Marshmallow_Men_Nightmares_and_Too_Many_Movies.mp3

Episode 20: 1983 - All The Way Down And Then Back Up

eightiesrevenge@gmail.com (The Eighties Kids) — Wed, 18 Sep 2013 09:07:00 +0100

1983 was not one of cinemas proudest years, crammed with sub par sequels and burdened with a short-lived 3-D fad. Not that there weren't good, even great, movies about but almost all of these came from the left field.

1983 was the underwhelming finger pause before what most people think of as 'the eighties' really kicks in. So the eighties kids this week go a-burrowing, down into the heart of 1983 recounting the disappointments, unearthing the triumphs, ready to move forward into a number of far more hectic years.

Direct Link: https://archive.org/download/0201983AllTheWayDownAndThenBackUp/020-1983-All_The_Way_Down_And_Then_Back_Up.mp3

Episode 19: 1982 - Everything Happening All At Once

eightiesrevenge@gmail.com (The Eighties Kids) — Thu, 12 Sep 2013 08:57:00 +0100

You won't believe your eighties at the gems up for discussion in this week's cast. Indeed the kids themselves are bowled over by the sheer cinematic variety on display.

1982 was the year of The Thing, Poltergeist, Tron and Wrath of Khan. In no year previously could these be considered the frosting on a giant movie cake, so it just goes to show 1982 was a veritable cornucopia of cinematic goodness.

So join us to find out if Blade Runner is just misunderstood, if ET really is all that and speculate as to whether the Dark Crystal is suitable entertainment for children of any age as the 80s kids get blown away by the awesome might of '82

Direct Link: https://archive.org/download/0191982EverythingHappeningAllAtOnce/019-1982-Everything-Happening-All-At-Once.mp3

Episode 18: Pity The Fool Who Messes With Our Imports

eightiesrevenge@gmail.com (The Eighties Kids) — Thu, 5 Sep 2013 08:47:00 +0100

Fire up your robot car, get out your welding irons and affix some sheet metal to a 4x4, turn into whatever animal you want as long as it's an eagle or a tiger, it's time to look at some of the 80s viewing aimed at younger audiences from across the Atlantic.

Of course, there were anomalous programmes such as the A-Team which didn't start out for kids, things that straddled the gap like Knight Rider and stuff aimed squarely at the younger viewer such as Benji, Zaxx and the Alien Prince.

Basically, if it had a real person in it and it came from the USA in the 80s the 80s kids are getting into it this week. (The cartoons, well, they merit a whole show to themselves He-Man and Transformers fans!)

SPECIAL BONUS CONTENT: Response to feedback, listen on after the end theme to enjoy this response to a detailed fan comment from our Pod-O-Matic page.

Direct Link: https://archive.org/download/018PityTheFoolWhoMessesWithOurImports/018-Pity-The-Fool-Who-Messes-With-Our-Imports.mp3

Episode 17: Pixel Perfect Casting

eightiesrevenge@gmail.com (The Eighties Kids) — Thu, 29 Aug 2013 12:54:00 +0100

The 80s Kids are, like everyone else, rocked by the news that Ben Affleck is to become... Batfleck. Discussion on casting choices for important movies follows close on behind.

If that doesn't provide enough spirited discussion for you then an all too brief overview of the dysfunctional relationship between movies and video games should be all you require to completely fill your head with chat.

Direct Link: https://archive.org/download/017PixelPerfectCasting/017-Pixel-Perfect-Casting.mp3

Episode 16: Never Forget The Gunge

eightiesrevenge@gmail.com (The Eighties Kids) — Thu, 22 Aug 2013 12:48:00 +0100

Nowadays genre television is of such a high quality that it's a tough game to get into. Faint hearts abound as TV Channels would rather put out tosh like 'Sharknado' than produce a low-production value genre show.

In the 80s this shame was no issue as channels worldwide embraced monsters made of rubber and gaffer tape, sets made of cardboard and endless scenes shot in quarries. Not only that but we went right along with them embracing shows that begged the indulgence of our imaginations to make up for the lack of an effects budget.

The 80s kids examine with affection the role that the UK played in our genre landscape from our attempts at robot based sitcoms to the special schedule for good telly dictated by only having a handful of broadcast channels. It's a good, solid UK-based nostalgiafest this week and all the better for it. Last one to the sofa has to wear the Helmet of Justice!

Direct Link: https://archive.org/download/016NeverForgetTheGunge/016-Never-Forget-The-Gunge.mp3

Episode 15: 1981 - Genre Movie A Go Go

eightiesrevenge@gmail.com (The Eighties Kids) — Thu, 15 Aug 2013 12:41:00 +0100

1981 dawns bright and fresh in our memory this week, a year so crammed full of cinematic goodness an hour barely seems like an adequate amount of time to cover it all off.

The legacy of Star Wars and Halloween is felt in '81, perhaps, more heavily than it was felt previously. The amount of SF and fantasy released in '81 was truly staggering. The traditional horror fodder of the 70s was being left behind in a deluge of slasher movies, gross out horror and more fantastic fare featuring exploding heads, Babylonian zombies and flesh-warping werewolves.

The eighties were most definitely here but still finding their feet, so let's look at the triumphs and tragedies of one of the most imaginative years in cinematic history.

Direct Link: https://archive.org/download/0151981GenreMovieAGoGo/015-1981-Genre-Movie-A-Go-Go.mp3

Episode 14: 1980 - A New Decade Dawns

eightiesrevenge@gmail.com (The Eighties Kids) — Wed, 7 Aug 2013 23:52:00 +0100

For a cast called Revenge of the 80s kids the 80s have, thus far, lost out to the previous decade in terms of air time.

Well, all that is coming to an end as of now. This week we look at 1980 itself in all it's new decade-y glory. From Airplane to the Elephant Man from Altered States to Empire the eighties kids cover off a year confused as to which decade it even belonged in.

Also, The invocation of Hawk the Slayer has drastic consequences that may change the face of the podcast forever!

Direct Link: https://archive.org/download/0141980ANewDecadeDawns/014-1980-A-New-Decade-Dawns.mp3

Episode 13: It's Beginning To Look A Bit Like Robo

eightiesrevenge@gmail.com (The Eighties Kids) — Thu, 1 Aug 2013 23:43:00 +0100

Bit of an emergency podcast this week as sound files in Leo's hard drive go mysteriously astray. So we poke around in a couple of recent news items, SyFy's recent darker themed programming and trepidation surrounding the upcoming RoboCop reboot, before talking Verhoeven.

The Dutch director brought the late 80s and 1990s some defining cinematic moments from ED-209 to Arnie's head exploding on Mars, from Sharon Stone's calculated wardrobe malfunction to the sight of Doogie Howser SS.

The 80s kids ponder the violent imagery and deeper motivations of the man who made the 90s sexier and gorier than the previous decade.

Direct Link: https://archive.org/download/013ItsBeginningToLookABitLikeRobo/013-Its_Beginning_To_Look_A_Bit_Like_Robo.mp3

Episode 12: Sue's 80s Top 5

eightiesrevenge@gmail.com (The Eighties Kids) — Wed, 24 Jul 2013 23:17:00 +0100

Right before we surge forth into the 80s we take a moment to connect with Sue and her top 5 of the 80s.

The reason being that our own Top 5s of the 70s were a good intro to those shows but the 80s presents a trickier problem for the 80s kids. Sue, though, has found her own choosing process easier and so we take a first bite of the sweet fruit of the 1980s in this special episode. Enjoy!

Direct Link: https://archive.org/download/012Sues80sTop5/012-Sues_80s_Top_5.mp3

Episode 11: 1979 - Out On A High

eightiesrevenge@gmail.com (The Eighties Kids) — Wed, 17 Jul 2013 22:45:00 +0100

1979... It was a year surprisingly full of noteworthy cinematic moments. So full, in fact, that it's added eight minutes to the run time of the cast. From the Black Hole, to Phantasm, to Star Trek, to Alien and beyond there was a whole heap of stuff happening in '79 it's a wonder that the 80s didn't suffer from some kind of performance anxiety.

Even so, the end of the 70s was like a universe in which the world of film was rudely torn asunder, alongside some big studio projects that traded strongly on existing properties and accepted wisdom were a number of breakaway hits that would help to shape and define the edge of the decade to come.

It's the final hors d'ouevre before we tuck into the decade for which this podcast was named and the trestle tables of this cinematic smorgasbord are groaning under the weight. Best grab a paper plate and pile it high.

Direct Link: https://archive.org/download/01179OutOnAHigh/011-79-Out-On-A-High.mp3

Episode 10: 77/78 - Close Encounters With The Bandit

eightiesrevenge@gmail.com (The Eighties Kids) — Wed, 10 Jul 2013 18:26:00 +0100

It's the mid seventies and we've gone alien crazy, arthouse crazy and a man's man is a beer smuggler with a sweet car and a sweeter moustache. The era that bought you disco-funk renditions of some of the greatest orchestral scores of all time gets thoroughly examined by the cultural anthropologists that are the 80s kids this week.

1977 may have brought us Star Wars but what else did have to contribute? A lot of weirdness, that's for certain. Like the latter part of a good party the later parts of the 70s appeared to be winding up to something dark and dangerous but crazy and wonderful at the same time.

Some people were probably already getting their coats but for the 80s kids this was the party last night that we definitely had to beat tonight. So let's rock.

Direct Link: https://archive.org/download/0107778CloseEncountersWithTheBandit/010-77-78-Close-Encounters-With-The-Bandit.mp3