Reviewed at Random

Holiday on the Buses

2012-01-25T20:53:00.001Z

When deep in the throes of depression what better solution can there be than a lovely politically incorrect British sitcom movie? Nothing I tell thee.

This dose of Un-Pc humour is the third buses film and shows its colours early on with a debagging of a buxom wench. The film that follows is a generic extended sitcom. Its not heavy on the laughs but a lovely way to pass the time with familiar characters in new situations. There isn't a huge amount I can say about the films other then that they are all generally great fun and well worth passing the time with.

In this one Stan and Jack are sacked by the brilliant (and greatly missed) Michael Sheard and accept a job with Pontins driving tour buses. Little did they know that the similarly dismissed Blakey is the new head of security. Throw in some vintage Mullard and a touch of Steptoe (senior) chatting up Stans old Ma and the time flies by.

Its a change from gore anyway.

Paul Out...

PS… Boobs

Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides

2012-01-23T20:58:00.001Z

You know that feeling you get when you're standing in a high place... sudden urge to jump?... I don't have it.

I am not going to hedge my words here. I will come straight out and say it. This is a far more enjoyable film than the first 3. Not technically or storywise better but so much more enjoyable.

I go against the flow in this I am sure but the reason is probably the same either way. I like the changes to Jack. I detest Jack in the earlier films. He has no likeability for me, Bloom is a nobber and Knightly does little to entice me. Its nice to see a film with a more likable Jack, a less likable (but sexier) female lead and no bloody Bloom.

The plot has more holes then emmenthal cheese but at least this time around you dont need a notepad or the memory of an elephant to know what on Earth is going on. Yes the story of the Fountain of Youth is hackneyed and tired but so what!

So probably a worse film that the others but my favourite as at last I found characters I could like. Rather then a bunch of total pratts and the story doesn't disappear up its own arse, unlike the original trilogy.

Well worth a look.

Paul Out…

The Human Centipede II: Full Sequence

2012-01-22T05:34:00.000Z

Warning: This film is extremely gory and explicit in its execution. Please do not read ahead, or watch the trailer unless you are fine with this. YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED.

Tom Sixes "The Human Centipede" was a terrible film, poorly made and drowning in schlock, lacking realism and aiming for a comedic hit that never came. How can part 2 follow that? Well oddly enough it isn't worse, not a great testament to be honest as it would struggle to be any poorer. What did strike me about the film, however, were its good points, of which there were several.

Casting was excellent with everybody fitting perfectly in the role with the lead role of Martin being brilliantly and eerily portrayed by Laurence R. Harvey. There is very little dialogue which gives an off kilter feel to the film. This is also a blessing as the script that there is is terrible. The decision to portray the film in monochrome also adds a certain degree of depth to it giving it an arty feel that it doesn't really deserve but fixing the risk of fake gore ruining the illusion.

I found myself enjoying this one to a degree, certainly it is far superior to the first film, it feels far more realistic and the decision to set the film in the UK made it refreshingly “local”. The presence of a handgun and Martins ability to lure Hollywood stars to the UK seems bizarre but I feel this is addressed in what IMDB users seem to think is an ambiguous ending.

The film IS terrible however as it falls into that genre of sick torture porn that seem to exist simply to illicit thrills from sickos. It is unremitting, gory and disturbing leaving no subject unexplored (the film has to star the youngest death in any movie i have ever seen) and to this end I couldn't possibly recommend it as an enjoyable film. The problem is that it also isn't tosh. It’s a reasonably well done film with a fair plot and half decent acting (apart from the lead who is honestly stunning). I have slept on this review and I still have to conclude…. I don't know if I like, hate, revile or applaud it.

If you have a (very) strong stomach then take a look. Its head and shoulders above the first.

Paul Out…

Hostel: Part 3

2012-01-20T22:32:00.001Z

So here we are. A straight to DVD sequel of a pallid sequel of an OK film. Can Part 3 resurrect the glory of gore?

Well first the good. The movement of the film to Nevada and the shifting of the threat to, essentially, anyone makes the film feel marginally fresh. Urm that’s it.

Well then the Bad? Most of it, the plot is awful and written in such a transparent way that events are sometimes signalled from miles away (a tattoo that opens doors…hmmm someone's getting their skin cut off!). The effects are laughably bad on occasion and the gore is very much implied in many cases. The deaths seem to lack an imagination, considering a twist of the film is that this is done for a show the death scenes are so quick and poorly done that, had I been in the audience, I would have been asking for my cash back.

For example the first death (and the only gory one) involves a face being flayed. Just the face. Then its over. This may make you squirm but to be honest its tame. Where is the torture, fingers flayed, bits cut off? I may sound sick but come on, these people are paying to see an extreme show. Its like a knockout in the first seconds of round one! Another death involves a crossbow and an person in a bizarre mask. It takes at least 4 shafts fired before you even get shown where the first impact happened. I am sorry but this is a gore film. I want to see it going in!

The ugly is really the feel and style of the film. It feels cheap, amateur and poorly thought out. I wonder why?

Its out in the US now and hits the UK on Monday but my opinion? Ignore.

Paul out…

The Faceless Ones (Doctor Who Series 4 Story 8)

2012-01-15T17:04:00.001Z

What a slog this is. Its effectively a 30 minute story dragged out, and out, and out for nearly 3 damn hours. Exceptionally dull and resolved by a New Who style “and they decided not to be evil” ending. Add to this the terrible leaving of Ben and Polly that is awful in its execution and you have utter bloody tripe.

I nearly lost the will on this story in all honesty. Thank God I have some Daleks coming up…

Your Highness

2012-01-07T13:18:00.001Z

I shouldn't even be here! I will probably die on this quest, Courtney definitely will!

I knew from the moment I saw the trailer for this film that it would either be awesome of suck donkey balls. Sadly an economy bottle of Listerine has still been unable to remove the lingering taste of burro testicles from my tongue.
This whole intro was funnier than the film. If you found it to be lame and pathetic congratulations you have got the simile.
Your Highness had the potential to be brilliant but it very rarely gels, who would have thought that a combination of James (127hrs) Franco, Natalie (Star Wars) Portman and Charles (Tywin Lannister!) Dance could fail. Throw in a helping of Toby Jones and you should have an indomitable hit?
Your Highness rarely raises a smile, let alone a giggle. It is puerile and silly and that in itself shouldn't kill the film but for some reason the whole thing is epically lifeless and …off. It simply does not work. There appears to be nothing but the crudeness to rescue this film from the failure it is.
Sadly avoid…
Paul Out

Fertile Ground

2012-01-06T11:51:00.001Z

Fertile ground is one of those “lower budget” indie films that tend to come out onto DVD rather then the cinema. Its name came up on IMDB while reading about another film so I decided to take a look.

Fertile Ground is fairly well polished with an acceptable level of acting ability and cinematography for the whole is good. However music and direction are terrible. Despite a promising start (instant nudity is ALWAYS promising) the film soon starts to meander and is a complete trial to watch. Throw in some awfully obtrusive music and shocks from the school of “show the lot” and you have an un-scary horror that also makes the cardinal sin of also being dull. Throw in some ambiguous activities and plot holes (what WAS Nate painting, was he a threat, was she pregnant at all, why was a murder seemingly ignored?) and you end up not only with a bad film but a bad film that crumbles under any further analysis.

My recommendation? Watch the bit at the start with Leisha Haileys breasts and then send it back. I wish I had done that.

Paul Out…

After 2 bad films on the trot do I dare to unwrap Hostel 3?

Island of Death

2012-01-04T21:52:00.001Z

A film so shocking I cannot find an English Trailer!

Residing on the infamous “Video Nasty” list produced by the BBFC this is one of those films that was considered too graphic for your average Englishman. Like many of the video nasty’s most of the nastiness is due to its storyline!

The plot, what there is of it, follows a young couple on their killing spree on the Greek Island of Mykonos (pre club 18-30) it showcases an inventive mix of deaths interspersed with softcore nudity and lashings of sex. This was just the thing to get the BBFC frothing at the mouth hence the films removal from public consumption.

This, as always, has the effect of raising a film above the level it deserves. The movie is essentially soulless and, contrary to may peoples statements, its dislocation from reality means that it really does not strike a thought or concern once it ends. Contrast this to Straw Dogs where the subtexts and deep emotional traumas still linger with me months after watching. Despite the bestiality, urination and rape nothing broke through the barrier caused by stilted dialogue and unsympathetic characters, like a modern slasher you really are just waiting (and hoping) for the next nudity filled murder.

This isn't to say “Island of Death” is a bad film, it just isn't a good one. Barely managing to pass the time it did come close to being switched off, a situation probably saved by the nudity.

To be honest, I wouldn't bother unless you truly are curious.

Paul Out…

The Macra Terror (Doctor Who Series 4 Story 7)

2011-12-26T11:03:00.001Z

We are all happy to work. We are all happy to work. For the good of the Colony. Happy to work. Happy to work.

One mans quest to destroy his love of Doctor Who continues with The Macra Terror.

I really can’t bring myself to say much about this one, I found it tedious and drawn out with an obvious enemy and solution. Question such as “how the Macra survived before the colony” and “Why have they surfaced anyway?” spring to mind. The story is rather shallow and lifeless and really did very little to grip me, couple this with the truly dreadful quality of my reconstruction and you have a very hard story to like. I would go so far as to say that this is the first Troughton I would say I actively disliked. Disappointing.

Coming up The Faceless Ones… things can only get better.

The Inbetweeners Movie

2011-12-17T21:49:00.001Z

I like football, but I don't like Burnley. Burnley can f*ck off.

The movie followup to the brilliant Channel 4 series “The Inbetweeners” continues the stories of our hapless quartet, Obsessed Simon, Gormless Neil, Sex mad virgin Jay and Socially inept Will are off to Malia for Sun, Sea and Sex. I was initially concerned that the film wouldn't live up to its roots particularly given the very hackneyed plot of “Lads Holiday” and I was pleasantly surprised to see all the lads on top form and a well written and witty film ensue. At times it does feel more like a TV special but if it had been “Blockbustered” I think it would have lost all its charm.

Of particular note is the Head of Sixth leavers speech. Mr Gilbert says what we know all teachers are really thinking. I love that man!

This isn't The Dead Poets Society and I am not that bloke on bbc2 keeps getting kids to sing in choirs. I especially don't want to hear how well you are settling down at uni or how much growing up you have done in the past 12 months. At best I am ambivalent towards most of you, but some of you I actively dislike, for no other reason than your poor personal hygiene or your irritating personalities. I hope I have made myself clear on this point and in case any of you think I am joking, I am not. I assure you, once my legal obligation to look after you best interests is removed, I can be one truly nasty fucker. Good luck with the rest of your lives and try not to kill anyone, it reflects very badly on all of us here.

One thing The Inbetweeners Movie does very well is close the stories. It is apparent, particularly with Simon, that the characters have done their arc and are progressing from funny twats to annoying ones. In fact they have already become so inept that one of the biggest niggles of the film is the female love interests interest in them! Much as I loved the series and this movie it is clear that if it had continued it would devolve into a shadow of its former glory.

Overall a fun film of the kind only the UK can churn out. If you expect some puerile fun and crude humour then you will not be disappointed. A great little outing and well worth a watch.

Paul Out.

The Moonbase (Doctor Who Series 4 Story 6)

2011-12-16T17:29:00.001Z

There are some corners of the universe which have bred the most terrible things, things which act against everything that we believe in. They must be fought.

The marathon continues through the lost years with the second Cyberman Story. With a drastic redesign they look far better this time but have lost some of the unsettling humanity that the first version had. I honestly think the original was considerably more sinister.

As to the story. Half reconstructed The Moonbase was quite a struggle. Its certainly nice to see Troughton moving and the set design was excellent but the story was obviously not written for Jamie as he spends most of it in bed! As a follow up to The Tenth Planet, The Moonbase is actually rather weak.

Overall satisfying but certainly not one that rises up my list of great stories. The story suffers greatly from a weak plot and poor motivation. Just how the Cyberman managed to hide their access hole is never really explained as is the lack of depressurisation when they break through.

Coming up is a recon that I have heard but never seen. For bonus points the Quarry scenes were filmed near my birthplace. Its “The Macra Terror”

Taken

2011-12-15T11:56:00.001Z

I don't know who you are. I don't know what you want. If you are looking for ransom, I can tell you I don't have money. But what I do have are a very particular set of skills; skills I have acquired over a very long career. Skills that make me a nightmare for people like you. If you let my daughter go now, that'll be the end of it. I will not look for you, I will not pursue you. But if you don't, I will look for you, I will find you, and I will kill you.

I have had Taken sitting on my “watch” pile for so long that my rental company have begun sending me emails to ask if I have lost it. I guess it was time to watch it.

Taken is a great little action film of the type I thought we were losing. yes it suffers from some of the modern cinema crimes of jerky cam and even some (spit) lens flare but underneath it a a nice solid revenge thriller.

Liam Neesan is brilliantly intense as a Father searching the Albanian underworld for his Kidnapped daughter, adding a real dark edge is the fact that this isn't “money” kidnapping. Oh no this is “sell the pretty American teenagers for sex slavery” trade. Not only does Liams “Bryan” need to get his child back but he is in a race to do it before she is “sullied”.

There are plot holes and moments requiring a fair amount of belief suspension but I am not going to dwell on these as overall the film supersedes these by being thoroughly gripping. All the more disturbing is that the white slave trade does exist and sex slavery and forced prostitution are all too real. So the film even has a message. Who’d have thought it!

Taken is well worth a watch.

Paul Out….

PS: So gripping I actually only managed to remember 2 screenshots for the review.I guess I had better fire up the disc again!

Children of the Corn: Revelation (7)

2011-12-13T14:16:00.001Z

I thought I was free after this, I dreamed of sunlit meadows, the wheat ripening under the spring beams. My family was there. I was home. This was because this is the last film in the children of the corn Septilogy… but…. then I found that there was another. An 8th spawn of evil. GOD WHY HAST THOU FORSAKEN ME? sob sob sob.

Anyway here is the trailer for the PENULTIMATE Children of the Corn movie.

Children of the Corn: Revelation s truly terrible. It has reasonably good acting in the lead role of Jamie played by the sexy Claudette Mink but little else. The threat is awful, the kids terrible, sets are dire and the sense of location non-existent (is this a town, a city, nowhere?) I honestly can find very little positive to say and how on earth they got Michael Ironside on-board to play…well what WAS the point of the priest anyway?

This movie is a great example of cinema holding on the coattails of its predecessors, at least 666 tried to reference the original. This pig of a film barely mentioned Gatlin at all and the story didn't seem to be linked with it merely a “kill all the cast in moderately inventive ways” slasher flick.

Avoid this stinker. Paul Out…

The Underwater Menace (Doctor Who Series 4 Story 5)

2011-12-10T13:54:00.001Z

Suddenly we have strayed into Bond territory with a story so Bondish it should have had a twangy intro. Instead we have Dudley Simpson twanging away and a bizarre plot involving the draining of the ocean to raise the inexplicably populated Atlantis, but really blow up the planet.

The utilisation of the fish people as as bizarre as the rest of the story, its clear that they are altered humans but are generally treated as scum afterwards…that's when they appear. Its like someone somewhere said “But where are the monsters?” and thus the fishpeople were shoehorned in.

Professor Zaroff is actually excellent, he is totally batshit bonkers and is great at it. It is nice to see a nice simple madman rather then an awfully convoluted plot. Its also nice to see the “Trought” moving at last, oddly the surviving episode 3 manages to entirely dispel the illusion that this story may have fared better had it not been lost. No, no it wouldn’t.

Coming up another largely reconstructed story… we welcome back an old foe in “The Moonbase”.

NOTHING IN ZE WORLD CAN STOP ME NOW.

The Highlanders (Doctor Who series 4 Story 4)

2011-12-06T19:41:00.001Z

My insane decision to watch Doctor Who from the start is about to hit a rocky patch. Seasons 4 and 5 are decimated in the archives. A live story is something rare and delicate. Sadly this is a recon.

I say sadly because it actually seems quite good. There is a grittiness to the tale, however Jamie is barely in it, odd considering he is to join the crew! There is also some very silly voices from Patrick Troughton and a massive amount of cross dressing (I don't mean angry). Ben manages to come off well with his bluff persona but Polly fares slightly worse, being stuck in the femme fatale role. This is better than a boy I suppose.

The core story actually revolves around white slavery and is very grim, however it is hampered by the comedy character of Algernon Ffinch. Perhaps this would have worked better with live action rather then the truly horrific reconstruction.

Overall a hard trek as a recon but what feels like an underlying good story. Its a shame it is gone forever.

The terror has just started though as I hit another story I barely know, its The Underwater Menace...

Nosferatu (1922)

2011-12-01T13:41:00.001Z

Denn die Toten reiten schnell

Like Metropolis Nosferatu is a pioneer of early Cinema taking the 1897 novel Dracula and adapting it for the silent screen. Permission was not forthcoming to do this so they simply changed some names and locations, Apple would have had a field day.

I loved Metropolis and generally champion early pioneering cinema, as a horror fan I fully expected to love Nosferatu. Did I? The complicated answer is that it has took me 4 days and 3 sessions to watch this. Yes I have given up on this 1hr30 mins film twice.

Sorry to all fans of Nosferatu but if you can point out anything other then the creature of Count Riptoff or the use of shadows to champion this film then I will be surprised. It is dull, overly long, takes a brilliant story and boils it down to … nothing. The acting is horrific with every character seemingly insane and obsessed with facial hair, sets look as if they were knocked up by the second assistant carpenter for a Christmas display and did I mention the awful plot?

This may have been the first stab at Dracula but I don't for a second believe it to be the classic it is toted to be. This is certainly not in the same league as Metropolis, I am not even sure its playing the same game?

In 1922 a shameless attempt was made to rip of the success of the novel Dracula, it was badly done and has gained undeserved cult status.

Preserve this trash for posterity but don't bother watching it.

Paul out…

Metropolis (1927)–2010 Re-mastered edition

2011-11-24T20:57:00.001Z

Freder: It was their hands that built this city of ours, Father. But where do the hands belong in your scheme?

Joh Frederson: In their proper place, the depths.

I have always loved Metropolis in all its forms. This 1927 epic was originally heavily cut by the producers after bad reviews (the film was panned by H. G. Wells) and the original was long thought lost. Then a chance discovery lead to the amazing revelation that the virtually intact movie survived in a Buenos Aeries vault. Finally the original score and the heavily damaged film could be used to establish the correct cutting of the film and restore the lost scenes. Some footage still remains missing but this truly is as good as it gets.

I promise yu that you have seen something influenced by metropolis. Just as Jules Verne and H. G. Wells were the daddies of literary sci-fi this is the bedstone of cinematic scifi. You HAVE seen scenes or influences from this movie some of which are gathered HERE. The most well known are the Freddie Mercury clock and C3PO, but there are more. Bladerunners visual design owes a great debt to Metropolis and Madonnas Material Girl and Express Yourself videos take massive visual cues from Metropolis.

The restoration is astounding with the preserved foootage looking pin sharp and the discovered footage…not so. Heaven knows what the original looked like. Well actually rather bad, see the examples on the excellent MovieCensorship.com, one of which i link below…

Here is an example of the general quality

The extended cut really does add massively to the story with Josaphats and Georgies journeys making far more sense and Georgies final sacrifice being all the more poignant because of this. Running at over 3 hours although the film really does seem HUGELY overlong but I wouldn't know where to start cutting it.

Metropolis is the Daddy of Sci-Fi in cinema. This “complete” cut is a must have for any sci-fi aficionado.

Paul Out…

The Power of the Daleks (Doctor Who Series 4 Story 3)

2011-11-23T15:07:00.001Z

So as Hartnell was ushered out by the Cybermen, who better to welcome the new Doctor then The Daleks.

On the strength of the latter Hartnell Dalek stories you could be forgiven for feeling trepidation at their return. There really is no need. They are conniving and cunning, using humans to rebuild their ranks and posing as servile creatures. Most of the Dalek behaviour in Victory of the Daleks was taken from here, but Power does it so much better. You can feel the hatred in the Daleks voice as it states “I am your…servant”

Troughton is off to a stunning start here and, despite a terrible copy of the Loose Cannon Recon, the story is fantastic. I imagine it looked great, sadly imagination is all I have due to the insane deletion of the original footage.

Next I take a step into the unknown with a story I have no experience of. Enter James Robert McCrimmon in “The Highlanders”

DALEKS CONQUER AND DESTROY

The Hound of the Baskervilles (1959)

2011-11-20T18:18:00.001Z

An interesting adaptation here from the Hammer studio. As far as I know apart from some deviations in minor details this is fairly close to the original story.

Benefitting form Terrance Fishers usual lavish direction the film is eminently watchable and Cushings version of Holmes is a joy to behold however the movie does seem to have lost a lost of the essential spookiness of the source material and the threat never feels at all supernatural. A shame really as this is an otherwise solid movie.

Worth a watch.

Loose Screws (Screwballs 2) 1985

2011-11-16T12:11:00.001Z

A sex comedy with loads of sex and very little comedy.

I am struggling to get a trailer for this one so here is a clip.

Whether this was an intentional sequel to Screwballs I do not know however it does share pretty much the same entire storyline so I guess yes.

This time our four bad boys (different ones) are punished by failing at “Beaver High” and sent to summer school at “Coxswell Academy”. There Hugh G Rection, Brad Lovett, Steve Hardman and Marvin Eatmore try to score with as many of the inexplicably loose women at the remedial boarding school. Particularly the French teacher Miss Mona Lott. All the while they are trying to avoid the wrath of Principal Arsenault and Hilda Von Blow. I wish i was making this up…sadly I am not.

The film is merely marginally amusing but is literally packed to the gills with nudity. As a teen I would have thought it porn! Seriously the first breasts appear about 10 seconds in and way before the titles run. I am actually struggling to keep this post nudity free, so I will not try!

I think this was the problem for me, throughout the film the girls were really depicted at brainless tit carriers and the fact that the only men seen (despite there clearly being more boys arrive) are our hero's make the film really a bit of a slog. You see its all thrust and no tickle. The payoff is free and you don't need to work for it.

I honestly felt like I shouldn't have been trying to watch this one, just finding a good bit and masturbating!

Paul Out…. what's that you say? Oh OK!

Rest Stop: Don’t Look Back

2011-11-14T11:24:00.001Z

I was (to put it kindly) not a fan of the first “Rest Stop” to recap this is how I summed up..

Avoid Rest Stop, it is truly shit of the greatest order (ordure). As a horror it is weak and ineffective. As a ghost story it is weak and ineffective and as a Texas Chainsaw style freakshow it is a … well what the fuck was all that about anyway?

Paul Out…and avoiding the probably even worse sequel.

Here is the trailer for the film I failed to avoid.

OK, so more of the same….how does it fare?

Quite well actually, don’t get me wrong its not a good film. Rest Stop 2 is trash BUT it does attempt to, and in some cases resolve, some of the glaring problems in the first film. The (male) characters are far more likeable this time around and although the female lead is still vapid and shallow she at least has a degree of “eye candy” going on.

The back story resolution also has the odd effect of making the first film more acceptable, if this had been an intended bi-logy then I would applaud it. As an ad-hoc sequel I am just surprised.

The business with the eyes is pure pap and completely strips the film down to its roots as a silly basic chase and slash movie but unlike the first it is at least minutely entertaining.

If you really feel the need to watch the Rest Stop films do try to watch both. Watching Rest Stop 2 is akin to drinking Urine to remove the taste of Vomit but oddly it is certainly a better film but to understand, it helps to see the first.

Paul Out

PS there are boobs as well.

The Tenth Planet (Doctor Who Series 4 Story 2)

2011-11-10T18:40:00.001Z

Here we are, it's 1966 and The Doctor is about to die. I decided that this pivotal story should be watched by my children. They knew something was up but I cunningly deflected their suspicions by telling them that it is the first appearance by a certain monster.

The Cybermen initially meet with some degree of surprise. They are apparently a bit rubbish. This changes once we see them properly and the children are obviously VERY unnerved by these singsong voiced giants. Its not just the costumes but their whole manner is outstandingly "alien".

Storywise "The Tenth Planet" is a bit of a pig. Not plotted particularly well and full of psuedoscience (given the involvement of a scientist very odd in itself) its is however a great backdrop to the eventual degradation of The Doctors health and by the time he collapsed in the TARDIS the children were ready for something amazing. I don't think that, even knowing about regeneration, they were expecting the change that occurs. The blurring of Hartnell into Troughton was greeted with genuine shock and surprise. What unsuspecting watchers thought in 1966 I truly have to wonder, I am sure in some households there would have been copious tears. Later, when i suggested watching the next episode while they were at school I was told "Not to DARE". Its a shame it is a reconstruction...

Onwards and upwards, enter Patrick Troughton in "The Power of the Daleks"

Here is that iconic moment of change...

The Smugglers (Doctor Who Series 4 Story 1)

2011-11-10T17:13:00.000Z

After hitting publish on my Tenth Planet review I realised that I had yet to do this one. With the power of Blogger hopefully I can fix that!

To be honest I struggled with this one. It was very hard to really visualise the story and the reconstruction certainly didn't help at all. Of note was the appearance of Grange Hills Mr Griffiths as Cherub. I imagine this story would have been far more fun with moving pictures.I really have little else to say on it. Perhaps that is why The Smugglers is a lesser known story after all?

I am going to call this one impossible to tell!

Coming up...the end.

Guinea Pig 4: Devil Woman Doctor (Ginî piggu 4: Pîtâ no akuma no joi-san)

2011-11-06T12:18:00.001Z

Often I look at my life an wonder. Why do I do this, what is this need to watch what sometimes are terrible films. Why do I feel I need to write about it. Then I watch a film like Devil Woman Doctor and I realise that it is to warn people about films like Devil Woman Doctor.

The film take the (inappropriate) comedy that has been sneaking into the Guinea Pig films and ramps it up to the max. This results in a bizarre film about blood guts and poo that is neither particularly gory or funny. Its a strange bastard of a movie if you compare it to films like Flower of Flesh and Blood which took itself hugely seriously and “He Never Dies” which was gorily accurate. The effects here are laughable and, with the total lack of any other content (the comedy is only such in name) the film lacks any hook at all. If there was a more damning way of saying “utter tripe” I would use it. Honestly there is an entire sequence about finding abandoned organs in a box that then chase you??

Avoid this film, in fact nuke any city that has a copy. Its the only way to be sure.

Paul Out…

Mutiny on the Buses

2011-11-05T11:44:00.001Z

No trailer for this one, here is the radio scene to give you a taste.

On the Buses always reminds me of my brothers. Derek because he, well, works on the buses and Peter because he is a lazy skiving little git.

Following the further adventures of Stan Butler this time the film doesn't have the massive rampant sexism of the original instead it has mellowed to being merely rampantly sexist. Its a far easier film to enjoy then the first with the fire drill and safari park sequences being of particular note.

For a smutty bloke Mutiny on the Buses is a really fun little film and well worth spending a lazy afternoon with. Its not big, clever or highbrow but so what?

Paul Out…