Rhapsody in Ronak

dun dun DUN...

2009-01-06T11:04:00.003-05:00

Would this concern you too??

2008-07-25T11:09:00.004-04:00

Big Sis returned to work on Wednesday. It was fun to have her home for two days, but honestly, ~~good riddance, woman~~ it's great to see her back on her feet.

Having her home for a few days really highlighted a big concern, though.

Doggies, do any of your humans refer to you with nicknames almost exclusively of the FOOD variety?

As you can probably tell from the comments that some of our friends leave, I have many nicknames. My Big Sis almost never calls me Ronak... she usually calls me Shkooner. Or Gooner. Or Loony Tune. Or (brace yourselves) POOM POOM BABY BEAR.

While she was home though, I realized that I've been focusing on the frou frou nicknames and haven't been paying attention to the concerning ones. Mr. Muffin Head. Pudding Bear. Pumpkin Butt. Apple Bottom.

BUT the most disturbing of them all...

CHICKEN.

Let me provide some context, friends. You see, at the end of January 2008, Big Sis and I were involved in an accident and both of us are grateful to be ok today. We were walking along a very quiet street in our neighborhood on a calm Sunday evening on the sidewalk. I was on my flexi-leash. Out of nowhere zoomed a big black car onto the sidewalk... badly hurting a woman behind us - and running over three of my four paws (it went over Big Sis' foot, but luckily she was wearing those weird pointy boots that human gals love and she didn't feel a thing). It was a nightmarish evening and after a night and a day in the ER, Big Sis AND Big Bro came to get a very droopy and drugged me to take me home. I've since made a full recovery, so no one worry about me, please!
While I was in the hospital, I had to get lots of IVs and I had to have my wounds treated... so my back legs and a part of one my front leg had to be shaved. I would show you pictures but they're just not pretty.

During this time... Big Sis referred to me mostly as... "Chicken." Not because I was afraid. Because my legs (my dancer legs!) looked like... chicken legs!

In my drugged haze back in January/February while I was recovering, I grew to really like my "Chicken" nickname. Most all of my family adopted it and what can I say... it was funny and fitting at the time.

While Big Sis was home sick these past few days, anytime she got a bout of energy, she'd chase me around. This isn't anything new... she never catches me *evil laugh* but she took to calling me "Chicken" again! I was shocked - and it impaired my usual lightning speed and agility. She caught me and dragged me to the sofa and was harassing me in the usual way of fur razzing and head ruffling and ear pulling.

AND SHE MANIACALLY SAID...

"I caught you, Chicken! Now I'm going to eat you!"

I was pretty scared the rest of that day... kept an eye on what she was doing in the kitchen. Hmm. But only pasta was made. It seems like she's forgotten for now but... let's just say I'm sleeping with one eye open.

Would someone please report her to the authorities?!?!?!?! This is... THIS IS ENDANGERMENT!!

Did anyone else hear that noise... or is paranoia setting in?????

Gotcha Festivities

2008-07-22T12:55:00.008-04:00

Thanks to the excellent legal counsel I received from my attorney, MzLiz in Los Angeles, I've decided to not take any legal action against my Big Sis. For now, I will heed Liz's advice and ~~plot something evil against her~~ think about a peaceful way of making amends.

This weekend was a BLAST! Some friends of Big Sis came to visit - one was a guy from San Diego who didn't love my barking welcome very much... and who called me Cujo (though affectionately). I could tell that he actually liked me though... since he text messaged me from the airport on his way back to CA.

ALSO! GAIL spent the night!! I just adore her. Big Sis says that she is the one who introduced me to Gail, and that may be true... but I think Gail only comes by to see me now and barely even likes Big Sis. *evil laugh* The only way that Gail could be cooler would be if she gave me some of her wine... she probably knows that Big Sis would flip. *sigh*

Then on Sunday, I went to Big Bro and Big Sis-in-Law's house to visit... and Mom and Dad were there too!!!!!!!! It was so much fun and I managed to con some people out of their yummy human food as usual.

Now the one little problem was that Big Sis started to feel really yucky on Sunday... like sniffly and coughy and nasal. So she was sort of low energy, which really ticked me off.

Then yesterday in the morning, she wouldn't get out of bed! In fact, it's now Tuesday and she's pretty much been laying there ever since!!!!!!!! We take breaks to go outside and refill my water and my food though... and truth be told, it's REALLY fun. Yesterday was my two year Gotcha Day anniversary (the day that Big Sis and Dad picked me up at the airport!) and Big Sis sang me a little song (in bed) and I brought ALL of my toys onto the bed so we played quite a bit there. Same today! Man, it is beyond cool when humans get sick and stay home with you!! Talk about celebrating my Gotcha Day!! I have been getting belly rubs and cuddles for two days. Big Sis says that I am having a party this weekend to officially celebrate, but I think this is just about as good as it gets!

The best thing is that I can show Big Sis all the things that happen during the day when she's usually at work. Like... since I am the man of the house, I try to fix up whatever needs taking care of around the house. I was changing the bulb for Big Sis when suddenly something caught my eye.

Something scaling the side of a building across the way...

Is that Spiderman????

Hmmmm. Big Sis doesn't think it's Spiderman. Could it be the Gotcha Day Toy Delivery Man?? If so... he has the wrong building!!!!!!!

EXPOSED!

2008-07-16T21:59:00.006-04:00

I have been accused of a great many things in my life.

There were my drinking phases (see my socialite phase pictures here and then here) - I have yet to live down this hilarious photographic evidence.

There was the rascal phase. Any slobber found on rugs was attributed to me during this time... although we all well know that humans will eat nearly anything.

There was the time of theft... ok, so there was the time with the mango and oh yes, and the leather heel incident.

You see, adoring public, I have been the unwitting recipient of much defamation and slander. It has not been an easy path to walk... yet I rise to every occasion, making adorable faces and performing tricks in exchange for treats and pats and restoration of my good name.

Even my heritage, though PURE, has been questioned! I've been accused of such grossly insulting ancestry... including cat...
... sheep and fox.

But this! This is just too much.

MINI ESKIE HAS TASMANIAN DEVIL ANCESTORS

This miniature American Eskimo named Ronak, residing in lower Manhattan, has been identified as a major threat to society with stature and fangs bearing striking semblance to the Tasmanian Devil. It is thought that the two share common ancestors and, as shown above, may share common behaviors and impulses to bite. If you see this creature, proceed with extreme caution.

Guilt in Humans: A Study in Dog Triumph

2008-07-13T20:31:00.006-04:00

This weekend, I conducted a little scientific study entitled Guilt in Humans: A Study in Dog Triumph. I didn't plan it out (that's my story and I'm sticking to it), but yesterday I did have the pukies, and just felt kind of icky the rest of the weekend.

Well, tonight I perked up a bit, but was still pitiful looking enough that Big Sis felt REALLY bad for me. And she thinks it's all her fault.

Check out the benefits of human guilt and what I got away with this weekend!

Pizza for dinner - and yes, I got to eat some!!

And a new toy... what fun!!!!!

This is classified material - I don't want people getting the wrong idea about me. Wink wink!

Doggies, do not attempt this guilty act at home. Results not typical and should be performed by professionals only.

Beijing Olympics

2008-07-12T11:36:00.004-04:00

I had the pukies this morning, and it's really no wonder since I just stumbled upon this article on my pawtop: Dog meat off the menu during Beijing Olympics.

Now, I am a very well-traveled pup and I come from quite an international family. I don't mean to take an ethnocentric view of the world (in fact, my older sis-in-law is from Hong Kong and I love her to pieces), but I don't know whether to be happy that some dogs will be spared during the Olympics, or angered about the whole terrible thing.

What do my fellow doggies of the world think?

Ballerina

2008-07-10T23:00:00.005-04:00

Tonight I was smuggled into a dance studio... quite naughty of Big Sis and me! I had to promise that I would be verrrry, very quiet as I'm not allowed there. Big Sis teaches a class there a few nights a week and brought me to meet her students... I'm such a celebrity.

I picked up a ballet move - must have been from one of the other instructors since Big Sis doesn't teach that!

Here I am practicing my move.

Don't I have the legs of a dancer??

Myers-Briggs... for doggies?

2008-07-08T23:32:00.004-04:00

Big Sis was telling me tonight that suddenly a ton of people from different parts of her life have been inquiring about her Myers-Briggs personality type and trying to guess it... everyone from people at work, people she volunteers with, to some sort-of-acquaintances we just ran into tonight. Over the past six years, she's consistently tested as an ENFJ, so she thinks that it must be pretty accurate.

So while she was cooking me dinner (I believe women belong in the kitchen ~~serving me~~ at the heart of the home), I hopped onto my pawtop to look at the 16 Myers-Briggs Type Indicator profiles, curious to see what I would be.

Hmmph. Well, it turns out there is no real in-depth personality typing for those of us in the four-legged and furry category. I did, however, find this article from back in 2005... and here is an excerpt:

"The question of whether or not dogs have a meaningful personality is controversial among scientists, even if dog owners have no doubt whatsoever that it is the case.
Human personality is measured according to five variables: extroversion, agreeableness, conscientiousness, neuroticism, and openness to new experience.

Gosling has found that only conscientiousness — which measures trustworthiness, selfishness and dependability — is absent in dogs."

Uhhh... meaningful personalities? Lack of conscientiousness? Does anyone else find this hugely insulting and offensive? I mean, was there no Family Guy on tv in 2005 to show us that Brian is both the brains and the glue of his family? I would argue that I'm especially conscientious. I go to great lengths to hide Big Sis' shoes from her each and every single morning. I have radar for the words 'cat' and 'squirrel' and for packages of Ritz crackers opening; I can be at the site of any of those events in under two seconds from ANY location. In fact, sometimes my humans even think I have tendencies toward obsessive compulsion... but that's a whole other topic for a whole other night.

Anyway, this got me thinking about cat people (grr grr grr) versus dog people and their personality types. There's a lot of research online that says introverts like cats better in general because they are 'unobtrusive and autonomous.'

Sounds an awful lot like "It's not you, doggies, it's me." I say it's their loss. :)

Another Manic Monday...

2008-07-07T22:37:00.003-04:00

Six o'clock already, I was just in the middle of a dream
I was kissin a pretty poodle
by a crystal bowl of frosty paws ice cream

It's just another manic Monday
I wish it was Sunday
'cause that's my fun day
My I get to run in the park day
It's just another manic Monday

My human caught an early train
Had to be at work on time
If I had a doggie-plane
I still couldn't make it on time

'cause it takes me so long
Just to figure out how to part my fuzzy white hair
Blame it on my human
But the boss is already there...

Just another manic Monday...

Happy 4th of July!!

2008-07-04T19:58:00.006-04:00

Happy fourth of July to all of my fellow American woofs!

It's one of those magical New York Saturdays. Big Sis ended up having the whole afternoon free and was really craving a day of doing nothing (well, actually she needs to pay bills but she's been procrastinating). We are having SUCH a blast!! I went shopping at Duane Reade, Intermix, AND the doggie toy store (yessss!).

I even baked some doggy scones (I let Big Sis be my helper). The scones are garlic and honey flavored... mmmmm.

Let's make THIS one!

Hey - do you like SEAFOOD?!?!?!

And now I'm just chillin'... what could be better - technology, a beer, a tummy full of scones, and a ~~slave~~ Big Sis to harass...

There was snow?

2007-11-20T15:41:00.000-05:00

I am incredibly ticked off at Big Sis right now. Mom and Dad talked to me on the phone last night and told me that in New Jersey, at our big house, a few nights ago... IT SNOWED.

When they told me, I immediately ran to the windows of my city home and looked out (and down because we are on a high floor). NO SNOW.

Later when we went outside for a walk I looked EVERYWHERE. I looked in the park across the street. I looked in building crevices. I peeked inside a parking garage. I scoured the cement. I went up and down steps thinking maybe it was higher or lower. I even looked up a lady's skirt (she did not get mad, I am too cute). Big Sis told her I'm a girl.

I looked inside a store and I saw some fake snow. Big Sis said it was not the real thing but that maybe it would snow this weekend. I just checked the weather on my pawtop though and it's supposed to rain a lot but not snow.

Ohh, snow. I miss you so. I miss your taste upon my nose. And I miss you stuck in between my teeny white toes.

Who Moved My Kibble?

2007-11-17T23:04:00.000-05:00

If any of you, my fellow doggies, have issues with facing change, I encourage you to read "Who Moved My Cheese" - or pop in the DVD while your humans are out during the day. It gives you some great ideas for dealing with change and being open to it. The only problem I have with this story is that it is about a bunch of mice when it really could be about a bunch of doggies (we like cheese too!), but they are pretty affable and likable mice for whom I personally will vouch.

Why the talk about change? Well, it's been a while since I've blogged and that's because I've been settling into life in the Big Apple (not sure why it is called the Big Apple as I have only been given apple twice since living here - misleading, I tell you!). I used to visit NYC quite a bit but I always considered my big family house to be... home. It really took some getting used to.

First of all - I don't have a yard here in the city. At first I was really freaked out about that and refused to go to the bathroom because I usually go on grass. Seemed really undignified to just go in the middle of the sidewalk, but I finally got the hang of the whole "curb your dog" thing.

Second, I live in an apartment now and not a big house. This has its pros and its cons... on the sucky hand, I don't have a great big territory to roam around and multiple levels to create mischief in. But on the cool hand, I can pretty much always see what's going on everywhere - and I've learned how to make mischief in other ways!

Third, there are lots of people - in fact, I have neighbors now! I even have other doggie neighbors!

Which brings me to four... DOGS, DOGS, DOGS! DOGS GALORE! I don't go a walk without meeting at least one new doggie.

After I learned to embrace this big change in my life (Big Sis got me a new toy every few days for a while in hopes of "bribing" me, and that was a huge help!), a few things dawned on me. Most importantly... I am an almost absurdly sophisticated and cool dog. I have TWO homes - a country home and a Manhattan apartment. I am living the American Dream!!

Another great part about where I live is that I go for walks along the East River nearly every single day. I don't know if the rest of you doggies know about seagulls, but they are fascinating and I love to watch them.

And then there is DINING OUT! In nice weather, I had dinner at outdoor restaurants with my family and friends. Some places even put out little doggie water bowls. I do not ever drink from them though because Big Sis brings a bottle and a bowl just for me.

Additionally, since I "officially" live with Big Sis now, there are all sorts of custody battles that really end up in my benefit. Mom and Dad always want me and "dognap" me frequently. At the country house, I am both fed and cuddled in excess and rarely groomed - hah. Awesome. At the city house, Big Sis guiltily overcompensates by buying me toys and also cuddling me in excess. Excellent once again. Only downside is she is groom-happy, but it kinda feels nice to be pretty.

And when in New York... do as the New Yorkers do and be well-groomed. I'm known as a bit of a metrodog, you know.

Happy Howl-o-ween!

2007-10-31T22:00:00.000-04:00

Job Well Done!

2007-05-01T23:57:00.000-04:00

Thanks everyone for your positive wishes for Casper! He is doing well again and I am very relieved and know that his Mommie is thankful to everyone for their good vibes!

Please Pray for Casper

2007-04-10T18:15:00.000-04:00

Hi friends!

I am sorry that I have been MIA again. Please feel free to e-mail me with hate mail for my big sis for constantly being on her dumb computer and never letting me use it to update my bloggy. Yeesh!

I have a favor to ask of you now. My really good friend Casper (he is like my big brother) from California has had a medical relapse and is really sick. Casper has been battling Evans Syndrome for over a year now and he needs all the prayers he can get to pull through. Please pray for him!

Also, Casper's hospital bills are really difficult for his mommie to manage, so if you could click on the ads on his bloggy, it will be free to you but would provide Casper with a few extra cents. A lot of cents can help them a lot!

Be healthy, Casper! We are all praying for you.

I'm BAAAAAAAAAA AAAA AAAAACK!

2007-02-10T21:25:00.000-05:00

After neglecting my bloggy for a long time, I am finally back (and better than ever - woof woof!).
It's been pretty hectic!! Let me tell you all about it...

The Holidays

Christmas Eve

Hmm, suddenly I realized that all the action was going on in the basement... and people seemed to be taking turns down there! What was that all about? So being a nosey guy, I had to head down and be the center of attention. I was so surprised...

This is what I found! Have you ever seen so much wrapping paper?!?!?!

The look on my face says it all... WHOA!

I got to help everyone wrap some presents, but then I had to go upstairs because I started sniffing around and... I think I may have found something for ME!! Yippee! So I had to go upstairs then. Booooo.

THEN that night a whole bunch of presents started to materialize underneath the tree in the living room. Hmm...

And then I noticed that... *GASP* there finally was a stocking with MY name on it... yup, the one with the paw print, hehe!

Notice MY stocking is bigger than my girl's - muhahahaha!

It was soooo hard to sleep that night! Especially since... we left a note for Santa and some cookies... and then in the early hours of the morning, I heard a noise and went looking and...

I SAW SANTA PAWS!!!!!!

Well, I hurried to tell the girl, but she is so cranky when she's sleeping... she didn't listen to me, but she was sorry in the morning when she saw the picture I had taken!!

Christmas Day

Anyways, the festivities really began in the morning, when everyone gathered around the tree with music playing in the background. I was having a really great time watching everyone open their gifts... and then they told me that it was time for me to open my gifts, too. We all took turns and at every turn I was so surprised to find that I had a present too! I just love my family and wish that every doggie could be so blessed.

Here are some pictures of me on Christmas Day with my new toys!

I got so many toys that I felt overwhelmed and wasn't sure which one to play with first!

I love Christmas and I already can't wait for next year!!

Waiting for the New Year

There was lots of buzz about the New Year! Truth be told, it kinda scared me - I mean, what did that mean? The days leading up to the New Year were much like any other... I romped. I played. I frolicked.

I ate Frosty Paws ice cream!!

New Year's Eve

Well, New Year's Eve finally arrived. Mom, Dad, and the girl all went out for a while and didn't take me (booooo!) but said they'd be back in time to see "the ball drop." Umm... were they going to drop one of my squeakies from the top of the stairs or something?? When they got back, I scoped the champagne and knew that this was going to be a GOOD NIGHT!!

Not as good as the Moet & Chandon I had a while back, but it'll do...

Ohhh - so THAT'S the ball!

Sooo, after the ball dropped on TV (aww, how sweet of my family to come and watch it instead of staying in NYC!), we all sipped our champagne...

And this is how I felt after my champagne sips!

Oh, and mom and dad helped me figure out my resolutions for the new year. One that they requested is that I call my girl "big sis" because that is what she is to me and they feel like I am "getting fresh" referring to her as "my girl" - HAHA! So from now on... she is my big sis.

January Arrives

Graduating

As you all know, I unfortunately was forced to attend puppy classes!! I was under quite a bit of pressure when my family gave me pep talks and we had "test practices" before my big exam and hopeful graduation date. Yeesh! Talk about stress!! My family says that I graduated by the "skin of my teeth," but I think personally that I did a great job. Check out these pictures from my exam, of my classmates, and of my other eskie friend in class!!

Payoff!

Puppy classes weren't so fun, but there were two great aspects to the payoff...
1. No more socializing with those heathens!
2. NEW TOYS!!!!

Ooh, and lots of other fun things happened in January, too.

I got my very first doggie bed for during the day (I sleep on the cold tile and my family worries!)

SNOW! I just love the snow and I wish that we could get more of it! I want to roll in it and eat it and play in it all day long!

Worrying

January wasn't all fun and games, though. I was really worried because mom had to go to the hospital and then when she came back, she wasn't the same. Usually every morning she plays with me and we have "tea time" where she sits on the sofa and drinks tea while playing with me! At the end I always sit next to her while she gives me a nice long rub. I just love mom... she is the only family member who ever gives me yummy people food, even if the others tell her not to. She sneaks it to me as long as it's safe for me. She says she wants me to enjoy my life and that when she was little, she was very naughty and always stole cookies from the cookie jar in her kitchen.

When mom got back from the hospital, mom, dad, big bro, and my girl - I mean, big sis - all cautioned me to be very gentle and not jump on mom when she was in bed. I was just soooo excited and happy to see her and so scared that she wasn't playing with me that I jumped on the bed anyway. Everyone got mad at me, but mom said it was ok and so I gave her kisses.

For the next two weeks, I didn't leave mom's side. I stayed beside her and helped keep her entertained. Everyone could tell I was really concerned because although mom ate her meals in bed, I didn't ever look at the food or ask for any. I just guarded her and made sure she was ok. I also kept the others in line because as you all know, humans can be quite pushy. Mom needed to rest!!

Now mom is ALL BETTER!!!!!!! I love you, mom.

And there you have it, friends. This is what I've been up to the past few weeks and this is what has kept me from blogging. I hope you will stay tuned as I have lots more to fill you in on and I promise to blog regularly again! I have missed you guys!!

My Wish to You...

2006-12-23T23:51:00.000-05:00

No matter what you celebrate or believe in, I want to wish you and yours a joyous holiday filled with happiness and laughter.

I know I had myself a nice laugh when the girl was trying to take my picture!! Behold the not so fruitful fruits of her first labors! Muhahahhaa!

I can't wait for my first Christmas to get here already!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Long time no bloggy!

2006-12-22T22:39:00.000-05:00

It feels like forever since I last blogged! You can blame it mostly on the girl (she's not my girl when behaving so poorly) and on a thing called The Business. Mom and dad even have been gone a lot and also say it's because of business and the time of year. Whatever! If they don't shape up fast, I'll give them some work to do, alright. So far I've been a gentleman. Hope they don't make me change my mild-mannered ways!!

So the 19th was my 7 month woofday!! When the girl got home, she found a small scene of destruction - tee hee:
Anyway, that was the end of my red doggie toy. So later on that day, I overheard the girl showing mom and dad what I'm getting for Christmas. I ran up and saw her holding a toy that obviously was for me, so I demanded it and they gave it to me... for my 7 month woofday!! Woooo hooo! I can hardly wait for Christmas to open up all of my gifts!!

I also want to thank my friends Sake and Boone and their mom Liz for sending me a super cool Christmas present!! I loved my peanut butter bark bar and I am loving my toys, too!

Holiday Tag-a-roooooo!

2006-12-14T19:31:00.000-05:00

I have been Holiday Tagged by Ronin, Comet and BLU! WOOOOO! I am supposed to list 3 things I want for Christmas and 3 things I definitely do NOT want.

All I want for Christmas is my two front teeth... my two front - Oh right, my girl saved one of my fangy canines for me, so I guess I'm all set here.

Gimme Gimme:
1. TOYS!!!!!! I like 'em squeaky, chewy, kongy, bouncy, bally, rattly, rolly, and ropey. Just in case my girl gets a mental block or something.
2. New YUMMIES. I am bored of my peanut butter treats and my beef jerky treats. I really like the liver treats I get at the pet store and hope that the girl noticed.
3. Time to play with towels. The people always wipe my paws clean and then take the towels away. Gone are the days when they took me for towel rides across the kitchen floor!
4.* Bonus Round: Unlimited cuddles and kisses and hugs.
5.* And most OF ALL... for the laptop to go away so the girl can play with me all day. ALL DAY LONG, I TELL YOU!
Don't Wanna, not Gonna:
1. No more puppy classes, man! I don't like those other doggies and I don't think I need to play with them!!!!!!!!!! I certainly don't think I need to re-learn dumb things I learned months ago like "sit" and "stay." Those other doggies need to be in remedial puppy school!!!!!
2. A lump of COAL!!!!!!! I am so mad at the girl for threatening me with this! Ahem... I mean... threatening whomever stole her shoes... *cough*
3. The people to close doors in the house anymore. See, it's like this. Being left alone during the day stinks, but I do need a break from these freakshows every once in a while, you know? But when they're home, why do they close doors sometimes?? I gotta take showers too, but you don't see ME closing the door on THEM. I just gotta say... I asked for sauce, not sass! Especially from you, girl! Pppssshhh! Talk to the paw.

So, there you have it. I would like to Holiday Tag Hana, Casper, FuFu, Ender, and Zach!!
The Rules: The player of this game starts with "3 things he/ she would love to get for Christmas" and also has to list "3 things he/ she definitely does not want to get for Christmas". Then he/she tags 5 friends and list their names. The ones who get tagged need to write on their blogs about their Christmas wishes, as well as state this rule clearly, then tag 5 more victims. And the one who tags need to leave a comment that says "you've been Christmas tagged!" in their comments and tell them to read your blog.

A Word from the Management

2006-12-11T23:55:00.000-05:00

Dear Girl,

I have been apprised of a certain circulating rumor concerning the whereabouts of one pair of Italian leather heels. I understand that you claim aforementioned heels as yours. Between 9 AM and 9:30 AM on the morning of December 11th, 2006, you apparently searched the house for your missing shoes until they were located near my crate in a place that you would never think to look.
Said heels were in impeccable condition with no evidence of chewing, slobber, teeth marking, or other damage. If your suspicions are true, these shoes did indeed travel up a minimum of two flights of stairs. As I am sure you are aware, accidents sometimes happen in transporting objects up and down stairs via the mouth. Although I am unable to corroborate, confirm, or deny your suspicions, I thought it my civic duty to tell you how truly unfortunate it would be if another, more valuable, possession of yours (such as a laptop) were to meet its untimely demise in such a blatant act of theft.
Consider yourself warned.
May it also be said that these incidents often occur when neglect is incurred by furry family members due to excessive human workload causing disruption of playtime and cuddletime. Surely the responsible party was only seeking to delay your departure to spend more time with you. Actually, you should be flattered.
I thank you in advance for your cooperation.

Yours in Innocence,
Ronak
The Management

PS Surely you are not truly considering bestowing a lump of coal for Christmas upon said responsible party.

Here Comes Santa Claus

2006-12-09T22:23:00.000-05:00

I had puppy class today! I did really well. Dad and the girl came with me. The humans are trying to teach me "leave it" and "take it" so I'm really sneaky and smart about it. First they try to tempt me with the "leave it" treat, but I ignore it and they all talk about how I'm a quick learner. Then I eat the "take it" treat. Then when no one is close enough to stop me, I eat the "leave it" treat too. HEE HEE! Ahh. I'm awesome.

Then I went to meet Santa. OK, so he's not creepy. He's actually a pretty cool guy who has three boxers of his own and who couldn't wait to get the heck out of there so he could drink a cold beer and... oh wait, I wasn't supposed to share all of this. Right, right. Sorry, Santa. My bad.

It was a little freaky what with all the paparazzi who wanted to take pictures of me and all of the other doggies (surprisingly no one tried to eat me this time). If I look a little dazed, it's just the flashes! Next time, do it right. ROLL OUT THE RED CARPET!

Ticked off!!

2006-12-08T19:48:00.000-05:00

I am so mad at the girl!!!!!

She has not played with me ONCE in two days. Unless you count the pathetic 5 minute breaks she takes from doing work "playing!"

And we used to romp around outside. Now instead she wants me to hurry myself up and come back in. Why? She's cold. What a GIRL...

Furthermore, I haven't been able to post because she's been hogging MY computer. I can't get to my bloggie if the girl continues to behave so rudely.

Oh, and I also hear that I'm getting KIBBLE for dinner tonight. What the... ?? Whatever happened to keeping me in the lifestyle I've grown accustomed to?? Sushi, rice, california rolls, bread, eggs, potatoes, beef, chicken, bananas, apples... As you can see, I'm not fussy. I've even given up the champagne, as it upset my girl that I was drinking so young.

But honestly, girl - kibble?

Aaaaarf. When will she come upstairs and play with me? I'm so blue...

Oh, forget you, girl! I have my toys and I don't NEED you!

I am planning a mission to overthrow my girl's laptop. I don't get what's so great about it, but she is always neglecting me for that STUPID machine. Sure, I blog on it, but I could ALWAYS go to the public dogbrary. What do you think I should do to her laptop??

A Tree Grows in Ronak-land

2006-12-03T23:59:00.000-05:00

Tonight's events are simply mind-boggling! Doggies around the world, listen up! There is a tree in the middle of my zoomie playground (the living room). And what's more... my humans PUT IT THERE!

Here's what happened. Big brother and sister-in-law came over and there was music on loud and everyone ate a lot - which is good for me because someone always sneaks me something (usually mom, hee hee). I got to taste a lot of things, but you can't tell the girl because I don't want her to know, so here it is in code: I got a bite of shrimp (mm yummy), a bite of a california roll (super yummy), some soft bread, and crackers!! Plus whatever crumbs I could find. Oh, and the girl even gave me dessert... read on!

Here's when it gets weird. A box was brought up... and suddenly a tree was being made... except it looked like a tree and it felt like a tree, but it didn't smell like a tree. Hmm. Isn't that curious?

And then everyone decorated it and sang stuff and the piano was played. And now every few seconds the tree gets all twinkly. I got to hang a fuzzy white ornament that looked exactly like a chunk of me!! It was so much fun! I love having a tree in my living room, even if it means a new zoomie route (I can work around it!!).

Then the humans ate MORE. And my girl let me sample her CUPCAKES!! She says that she made a super special one just for me without bad stuff in it. Yesssss.

My girl says that sometime soon, we will hang our stockings. She needs to get one for big sister-in-law because this is her first Christmas with our family. Don't tell the girl, but I already found my stocking. It has a paw on it so I know that it is for me!! She just needs to write my name on it all sparkly and then we'll be in business! Mmmm, my mouth is watering just thinking about how many cupcakes you could stuff into a stocking...

Before big brother left, we played chase (I WON!) and then I got lots of pats. Happy Woofidays, everyone!!!!!!!

The Crystal Ball

2006-12-02T23:55:00.000-05:00

Well, this morning was my second puppy class, and I rocked it! Met some cool peeps and cool pups. The girl says I need to work on my Modus Operandi... dubbed The Stealth Sniffer - I sneak up on the other doggie and sniff its butt and hope for the best!! It goes over ok with some... not so well with others. Got some good pats. Squiggled out of taking a picture with Santa, who was major creepiness.

Tonight my slaves - uh, I mean my humans - went out for Chinese food. I would have been pretty ticked off, except the girl promised to bring me back something yummy. Sure enough, she brought me back a fortune cookie!!

How do we get to the good stuff?!?!

Mmmm! That was yummy! Now read my fortune, slave!! Er... girl!

"Mighty forces will come to your aid." GASP! Oh no! What could this mean?!?!!

Oh, how am I ever going to sleep tonight?

Holy Moly, Roly Poly!

2006-11-30T00:40:00.000-05:00

We went to pick up some Interceptor from the vet tonight and I got weighed.

TWELVE POUNDS! WOW! I have officially tripled in weight since my family first got me!

This seems to have earned me three new nicknames...
1. "Large and in charge" - the uncouth girl, obviously.
2. Roly Poly - mom, who sneaks me the best people food.
3. Rumpy Ronak - dad, who I thought was on my side!