I missed last month. But I’m just gonna keep on going with writing to you each month this year.

I was sitting on my bed the other afternoon with you. Oliver was sleeping. Eli, Alden & Lucy were all at school. It was a quiet little time. In the beginning I was just wishing you’d go to sleep. I was tired and wanted to sleep myself. But I tried to change my attitude and enjoy my alone time with you. Since you are baby number 5, it seems just me and you time is harder and harder to get. Half the time I am breastfeeding you, Oliver is trying to climb up too. Or I am quickly trying to feed you under a blanket in the car at the grocery store or a soccer game. Not exactly the relaxing one on one time that most of the other kids got.

But this afternoon the house was quiet and my bedroom was filled with soft, afternoon light. And I laid with you  on my bed and just took you in. I enjoyed your little facial expressions, the way you wave your arms (to me it looks like you are leading music), the little notes in your voice (perhaps the singing to that music?). I was just loving you. And it was so nice. It filled up my overwhelmed over tired momma heart.

I love that you laugh now. It is my favorite. You are seriously SO ticklish. Sometimes when I am trying to change you quickly because of the spit up (I seem to always smell like spit up lately) and I take off your shirt you giggle because my hand brushed your side. You are THAT ticklish. Every time it stops me in my tracks to smile at you and enjoy that little giggle. I think it’s a little tender mercy from Heavenly Father. It seems like a small thing but it brings me such joy. Little moments when I know we are connecting with each other. I love the way you look at me too. With complete adoration. Lately I’ve been feeling worried about if I am raising you and your siblings right. If I am adequately preparing you for all that this big old world is going to throw at you. But when you look at me with such love in your eyes, I am filled up. My cup runneth over, as some say.

You know I’d really like it if you started sleeping more. I mean, you are doing better. But frankly you had no where to go but better. But I’m kinda feeling over the every 3.5 hours. Can we get one of those 11 hours? Alden used to do that. And it was AWESOME. I am so glad you decided to go for the soother. You wouldn’t take it and so I gave up. But then I tried again close to 3 months and low and behold you took it. It was strange. And SO awesome! I am sooo glad. It makes putting you to bed so much easier. And now I can hold you off sometimes to feed. That was another tender mercy and I’m grateful.

You are so willing to let anyone hold you. You are just happy someone has you. You love to look and smile at everyone and anyone. I have caught the other kids stopping to talk to you when you are laying on the floor so many times. You stop them with your smile. Just like you do to me and others. It is a lovely little gift. My mom always told me I was like that as a baby too. I feel like I am starting to understand your cues better. Knowing when you are tired or hungry or just that you want some attention. That is making things easier too.

I love you little one. Even though I am scatter brained and over whelmed and over tired, I love you so much. I am enjoying you. I hope you’ll always know I love you more than I can explain.

Love Mom

2. Eli and I made a book about his dragons. Some days I wonder when these dragons will leave. Not that I want them too, I’m just curious how long he’ll hold on to them!

4. We had mother’s day. I was meaning to make a post about motherhood and my feelings, but I just haven’t gotten to it yet. Perhaps tomorrow. (or more likely tonight.)

5. I’ve gotten up and come back to this post already 4 times… and I’m on number 5. hahahahaha

6. Oliver loves to play in the sink. I love it and hate it.

7. On Saturday I shot a wedding. And I was a little worried about Norah. Actually a lot worried. It all went good. I am so glad! She even took a bottle!

8. I’ve had a lot on my mind lately. (Just got up again….)

9. I think spring is sprung. And on a side note, whenever I think or hear that I think of my dad and his saying he always said when I was a kid… “Spring is sprung, the grass is riz, I wonder where the birdies is…”

10. Taking wedding pictures made me pull out my big camera again and that was awesome. Lately I usually have a kid in my hands too so taking my big camera out is near impossible. But I use that as a scape goat too much too… so I’m going to pull it out again more.

]]> http://rhondasteed.com/10-in-tuesday-5/feed 1 http://rhondasteed.com/why-my-husband-is-so-awesome http://rhondasteed.com/why-my-husband-is-so-awesome#comments Wed, 08 May 2013 19:01:50 +0000 admin http://rhondasteed.com/?p=5705 How’s that for a good topic for a blog post? I’ve been thinking lately about how I am married to a really truly awesome guy. A few years before I met Regan I would have never thought I could be with a guy who is so… good. Just so good in so many ways. Daily I am thankful that through various experiences the Lord helped me realize how right we were for each other. And how He brought us together.

Regan is so, so kind. As in so kind that if he hates your guys you’d have no idea because he treats all people with kindness. Even when someone is openly unkind to him, he handles it with grace and wisdom. If I am ever upset (who me upset with someone…. never! ) with someone he often is reminding me of the right way to act or tries to help me see how they must be feeling. Helping me to show love to others even when I have trouble finding that in me right then.   Regan is so humble. Always trying to be better and do better. One of the very  very first things I loved about him.  One of the generalizations I hate the most about doctors is that they all have god complexes and are so full of themselves. Regan is a living example that that is so not true. He is always trying to learn more and be better at not only his job but in life too. He is sincere in his approach to people and to life. He knows he isn’t the best but he’s trying to be HIS best. Really that’s what all of us should be doing.

I always get a good laugh when people get to know Regan often they comment on how he is funny. When you first meet him, you often don’t realize his humor. Because he isn’t the center of attention, he doesn’t seek it out or need to be it. His humor will catch others off guard because they don’t think he’s going to be like that. But we have so much fun together. And it’s such a big part of our relationship that it always makes me smile when people see that thing that is so obvious to me. He is the one in our relationship that is more upbeat and positive. He brings the laughter to the kids and to me. He is a big goof. Dance parties and water fights in the house and all kinds of crazy shenanigans.

Regan is smart. Smart about a whole whack of things. Every day things to specific medical things. He would never ever say that he is smart, but I live with the man. And he is smart. He knows stuff. He often is sharing information with the kids and it cracks me up some of the conversations that they have. It’s so funny. Regan is a great husband. He is supportive of me and all my endeavors. When I was smaller I thought the role of a husband was to take care of me, but I thought in a way that I was like a helpless girl. (I even dated someone like that) But Regan takes care of me in an empowering way. In a “my wife can do anything” kind of way. And that is so much better. When I get in those woe-is-me-I-can’t-do-anything-right kind of moods, he often gently encourages me too see my faulty thinking and gives me a boost.

I’m just so proud of who he is. Recently someone sent him a facebook message telling him that he had made friends with someone who knew Regan. And how this person, who is of a different faith, was impressed with Regan. And how he stood by what he professed to believe.  Part of his message…. “it seems that a good portion of that respect seems to have been derived from her (and I suspect others) watching you remain true to those things which you profess to believe. One might conclude, then, that you were “An example of the Believers, in word, in deed”, etc. Well played, sir.” What a wonderful message to hear and I said a little hear, hear when I read it. I’m sure Regan will be a tad bit uncomfortable when he sees this. Maybe even kind of annoyed. He really doesn’t like attention drawn to him. But I want him and everyone else to know how truly fantastic he is. And how lucky I am to have him now and for eternity. I love him so much. He’s awesome

Beautiful family eh?!

Pierogi Pizza

1 pizza crust
4 medium potatoes, peeled and sliced thinly
1 1/2 c mozza cheese
1 c cheddar cheese
1/2 tsp cayenne pepper
1 tsp garlic salt
1/4 tsp pepper
8 bacon slices, cooked and cut into pieces
5 TBSP sour cream
2-3 green onion, chopped

Place potatoes and spices in saucepan with 2 c water. Cook on med/high until tender. Drain excess liquid and place in bowl.
Spread sour cream onto crust. Top with potatoes. Add cheeses. Add bacon. Bake at 400 for 20 min. Garnish with green onions and more sour cream.

You can prebake your crust if you want. I usually do, just for five minutes or so .

Seriously FANTASTIC!!! I love having friends who are good cooks!!!!

2. Isn’t the nice weather kind of awesome?! I think *fingers crossed* spring is finally here.

3. If you don’t follow me on Instagram you haven’t seen all these pics… if you do… well here they are again HA! Here is Alden’s drawing of our family… awesome hey

4. We went to Waterton a week or more ago… and I need to post a bunch of pictures I took there. I’ll try to get to that

5. I took pictures at a wedding. It was one that was booked a while ago (as in before Norah was coming) and it was only 1 hour. So it was just fine. Norah may have cried a lot for my mom…. but we all survived.

6. I sure wish Norah would learn to sleep in longer spurts. I was holding out for 3 months… and that came already and she’s still not sleeping in spurts. We are still doing the 3 hours thing…. and that is getting… um… old. Good thing she is a doll

7. I got bangs. And highlights. Seriously been YEARS for either of them!

8.  Lucy made her first pies all the way from scratch. As I was teaching her how to make it I was telling her the why’s. Like why you don’t over work the pastry or it won’t be light and flakey and that’s what you want.. so as she was biting into a piece of pie she says “Man, this pie crust is just so light and flakey.” hahaha. She made this chocolate one for her primary teacher and was SO happy to deliver it to her!

9. I’ve wanted to take a picture of Norah with her great grandma and their hands together for a while. I finally did it… I didn’t have my big camera but my iPhone did okay!

10. I made donuts and long johns last week… and my kids were excited about it. HA!

I am doing a project where each month I capture our family doing something or being somewhere together. You can see my past months here. This is April:

Highlights & Lowlights of April:

• Dinner club at the Metz house with the theme “healthy”
• Date night at the Keg
• Soccer trying to start
• Huge blizzard at end of month
• Lucy’s first Orthodontist appointment
• Waterton family trip
• Eli & Alden having a sleep over with cousins in Hill Spring
• General Conference
• Mom attending Time Out for Women in Lethbridge
• G & G Steed coming home from vacation
• Brooke & her kids coming down for a visit
• Seeing Kim Corie on her visit down from Edmonton
• Alden doing Football camp
• Space Day at Preschool for Eli with Mom and Norah
• Mom teaching a photography class in Lethbridge
• Having the Chutes come down a give a presentation on home building

Parenting is anything but simple. Some days I wish it was a little more simple. Trying to figure out the right thing to do and when. I think real consequences for actions are the best “punishment” for kids actions. But sometimes figuring out what the right real life consequences are isn’t so simple. When they are small it’s the best time for them to figure out what happens when you make a bad decision. Cause their decisions are smaller. I’d rather a kid stole a chocolate bar when they are eight than a car when they are 18. (Not that we’ve had a kid do that -but it gets my point across.)

Really lately I’ve been trying to let things go that don’t matter. Saying yes more often. But when your child is constantly pushing boundaries and literally asking for things ALL DAY long. Like asking and then changing his mind as soon as you make the food he wanted. Or, let’s say, as soon as you build an entire track for his cars which takes you 25 minutes while you hold a crying baby and then he says nah I don’t really want to do that anymore… can you build me a train track…… I mean… hypothetically speaking….. That is so …. um … maddening.

Or let’s say, your child keeps doing things you have asked him not to do… and he’s been punished for over and over and over. Like turning on the water on the side of you house and leaving it on for days…. or let’s say…. completely destroying his siblings lego creations that they spent considerable time on just because he felt like it….. I mean, hypothetically speaking of course. Trying to help these special little people grow up and be able to navigate the world out there in a positive, righteous way… that’s anything but simple. It’s an all consuming task. Never mind the little details of just keeping everyones toe nails clipped and clothes clean and mouths fed.

More and more lately I am trying to remember that I am trying to raise some very special spirits. Specially sent to ME. That is overwhelming and scary to realize. I want to love them and try to parent them right. If I love them, it should make it more simple. Love them and hold them close. Simply put, it’s my job to love them and try my best. To work at parenting in a positive and loving way.

linked 2013 is a monthly blog project. check out what simple looks like to these ladies linking up with me this month:

 Amanda, Carla, Hanne, Heather,  Janet, Jenn, Tracey and Tracy