As a bittersweet farewell to one of the most tumultuous years in automotive history, RideLust presents to you a re-cap of all the biggest industry events in 2009…and a few that slipped in under editorial bias.

Rick Wagoner, Bob Nardelli, and Alan Mulally spent weeks feigning humility and destitution in three piece Brooks Brothers suits in an attempt to wrangle a billion-dollar loan from an apparently benevolent Uncle Sam. Eventually, the government acquiesced and agreed to bail out both General Motors and Chrysler so as not to interrupt their steady production of poorly built, aesthetically unappealing vehicles.

Stunt double Ben Collins outed himself as Top Gear’s infamous masked driver, The Stig, potentially blowing the sweetest gig on planet Earth. Rather than kill him off, Top Gear attempted to counter the rumors by fingering (::snicker::) legendary racer Michael Schumacher as The Stig. Gearheads in America with an Internet connection that’s too slow to cope with downloading the weekly BBC broadcast still don’t give a rat’s ass.

There was some sort of F1 scandal involving Renault intentionally throwing the Singapore Gran Prix, but we were too immersed in our rally obsession to care. Just Google it or something.

As per their plan to cut costs and pretend to pay back taxpayers, GM made the logical decision to axe one of the only remaining brands that consumers still cared about, Pontiac. Shortly after the announcement, rumors began to circulate that the late John DeLorean’s company was interested in purchasing the rights to produce the Pontiac Solstice. The idea, much like the DMC-12, was short lived.

Drawing heavily from the blatantly phallic styling of the Ambiguously Gay Duo’s car, Porsche released it’s first 4-door sedan, the Panamera.

For what feels like the 10th year in a row, GM failed to launch the all-electric Chevy Volt. Reports indicate all 3 enthusiastic fans are coping well.

In an attempt to steal the allegedly sizable fan base the ever-elusive Volt has garnered, Nissan unveiled their equally unready-for-production EV, the Nissan LEAF. As quickly became the case with the Volt, no one really cares.

After muscling a disgraced Rick Wagoner from his position, GM CEO Fritz Henderson found himself on the receiving end of a nasty blow from karma when he was unexpectedly forced to resign after less than a year of service. Immediately following the announcement, his 20-something daughter Sarah Henderson took to Facebook, providing days of gossip fodder with her caps-locked, obscenity-filled defense of her father’s unremarkable stint with The General.

Although arguably destined to be a success in the long run, Cash For Clunkers proved treacherous to September car sales and dealer temperaments everywhere. In truly bureaucratic fashion, hundreds of thousands of dollars worth of dealer rebates were caught up in red tape for much longer than expected and, thanks to a gross ignorance of performance and quality, at least one 300ZX was clunked in favor of a 2010 Chrysler Sebring. It was a very dark time for the automotive community.

Citing the worsening global economy and the need for budget cutbacks, Toyota withdrew participation from F1, cruelly crushing the vain hope of fanboys everywhere that Toyota’s race-bred technology would eventually find its way into their excruciatingly boring production vehicles.

In a stark break with the Detroit Three’s storied business philosophy, Ford began producing cars that people actually enjoy driving. In one of the biggest upsets of the year, the 2010 Ford Fusion Hybrid all but completely usurped the Prius as the public’s favorite hybrid.

After failing to resolve some sort of vague disagreement with Penske, GM opted to wind down the Saturn brand, finally putting an end to what was basically a 19-year identity crisis.

Unseating Ford as the reigning king of the recall, Toyota found itself in hot water in the latter half of the year when a grisly accident exposed serious engineering flaws. After feebly attempting to pin the problem of sudden, accidental acceleration on loose floor mats and receiving a class action lawsuit by way of response, Toyota demonstrated a rare act of responsibility for their subpar product by recalling 3.8 million vehicles for faulty accelerators. Of course, although this was certainly a serious problem in urgent need of an immediate resolution, some might reasonably argue that anyone who purchased a Toyota sort of deserved it anyway.

Ford went to great lengths to keep its month-long negotiations with Geely a secret, ultimately culminating in the quiet sale of Volvo in mid-December. Fortunately, traditional Volvo enthusiasts renounced their brand loyalty when the company was purchased by Ford in 1999, so few tears were shed.

Finally, just a few days before Christmas GM delivered a heartfelt gift to Sweden, announcing that purchase negotiations with Koenigsegg had fallen through and Saab would be killed off. The failure trifecta is now complete.

In conclusion, on behalf of the staff that I no longer employ, I’d like to wish the RideLust readership a very Happy New Year. Thank you sincerely for reading and please keep up the snarling hate mail, my therapist loves the business.

After purportedly exhausting every possible alternative, or least deliberating long enough to appear as though they had, General Motors has opted to kill off their long-suffering Swedish subsidiary, Saab. Although many blogs/any amateur with access to Wordpress claim to feel sadness and shock, those industry professionals familiar with The General’s megalomaniac business principles are merely surprised it didn’t happen sooner. While hefty government funding may have made GM more attractive to investors, whatever strings are now attached to all of its transactions have proven toxic to literally every potential sale GM has had in que.

Of course, assuming responsibility for their mounting failures is at odds with their personal philosophy, which means the presser was brimming with ambiguous corporate buzzwords. “Despite the best efforts of all involved, it has become very clear that the due diligence required to complete this complex transaction could not be executed in a reasonable time. In order to maintain operations, Saab needed a quick resolution,” said GM Europe President Nick Reilly. “We regret that we were not able to complete this transaction with Spyker Cars. We will work closely with the Saab organization to wind down the business in an orderly and responsible manner. This is not a bankruptcy or forced liquidation process. Consequently, we expect Saab to satisfy debts including supplier payments, and to wind down production and the distribution channel in an orderly manner while looking after our customers.”

Rest in peace, always-wanted-to-be-but-never-quite-was Volvo.

Source: GM
Image Cred: Reuters Pictures

When news of Tiger Woods’ accident first broke what seems like eons ago, every automotive blog desperate to cash in on what was destined to remain in Google Trends for weeks to come threw up a post about Tiger’s ill-fated Escalade. RideLust, of course, refrained.

Today, however, we’ve opted to take the road more heavily traveled thanks to a game forwarded to us by a certain staff member’s father. Introduced by Break.com, “Tiger Hunting” is a relatively simple game whose primary focus is successfully avoiding various obstacles while fleeing an enraged Elin Nordegren.

It sounds almost too basic to be enjoyable, but it’s addicting. Of course, at the risk of sounding like Lavar Burton à la Reading Rainbow, don’t take our word for it – hit the link to do a little “Tiger Hunting” of your own.

Source: a dad with way too much time on his hands via Break.com

In stark contrast to the European money pits traditionally featured, today’s FOTD is a 1991 GMC Syclone. Despite the fact that it’s probably older than your first born child and manufactured by a company not exactly renowned for its longevity (which I expect will be directly refuted by a barrage of GM forum trolls), both the Syclone and the Typhoon have left such an indelible legacy that they are granted a reprieve from my domestic scorn.

As a matter of fact, so enamored am I with arguably one of the best examples of superior engineering to ever leave Michigan, I’m even willing to overlook the ominously rebuilt title. According to the seller (and confirmed by Carfax), the truck was stolen in 2001 and recovered with damage severe enough to warrant a “salvage” branding, which still only resulted in a $2k price decrease. The slightly blurry photos paint a promising picture, though, and as long as you’re adept at maintaining a vehicle constructed almost entirely out of Bondo, this is definitely a piece worth investing in.

Source: eBay Motors

Regardless of how legitimate the global push towards green may or may not be, there’s no escaping the impact the rapid shift in consumer demand has had on the automotive industry. Ward’s 2010 10 Best Engines list reads like an Al Gore-scripted porno and in the 16 years they’ve been objectively evaluating engines, this year marks the first time only one V8 unit (from Hyundai, ironically enough) has made the cut. The rest of the selections are smaller, more fuel-efficient units including the frustratingly underpowered 1.8L DOHC I-4 Hybrid from the Toyota Prius.

Fortunately, the rest of Ward’s choices aren’t nearly as boring and include the 3.5L Ecoboost turbocharged V6 from the comeback kid himself (herself?), the Taurus SHO, and the snarling 3.0L supercharged V6 from the Audi S4. The 2.4L DOHC I-4 from the Chevy Equinox also made the list, purportedly thanks to its “groundbreaking” performance and segment-leading efficiency, though it’s reasonable to suspect that pity might have played a small role too.

Hit the jump for the full list of Ward’s 2010 picks.

2010 Ward’s Best Engines
* 2.0L TFSI Turbocharged DOHC I-4 (Audi A4)
* 3.0L TFSI Supercharged DOHC V-6 (Audi S4)
* 3.0L DOHC I-6 Turbodiesel (BMW 335d)
* 2.5L DOHC I-4 Hybrid (Ford Fusion Hybrid)
* 3.5L EcoBoost Turbocharged DOHC V-6 (Ford Taurus SHO)
* 2.4L Ecotec DOHC I-4 (Chevrolet Equinox)
* 4.6L Tau DOHC V-8 (Hyundai Genesis)
* 2.5L Turbocharged DOHC H-4 (Subaru Legacy 2.5GT)
* 1.8L DOHC I-4 Hybrid (Toyota Prius)
* 2.0L SOHC I-4 Turbodiesel (Volkswagen Jetta SportWagen TDI)

Source: Ward’s

If you’re like most consumers in the market for a used car, your needs are probably best served by eBay, AutoTrader, or your local Craigslist. If you are like 99% of automotive enthusiasts, however, your pursuit for that perfect diamond in the rough exists in perpetuity. You can easily squander 5+ hours at work tirelessly refreshing your browser in the vain hope that the pristine Volvo 850R you’ve spent the better part of your adult life pursuing will magically appear for thousands less than its Blue Book value. If such is the case, then the chances are good that you’ve also experienced significant frustration at the hands of Craigslist’s rather limiting search parameters. Although you probably could if you neglected your job, family, and personal hygiene for days on end, it’s realistically impossible to search every Craigslist in every state in every city in the continental U.S. (though you’ve certainly tried). Fortunately, I’ve found a way: searchtempest.com. Not only will SearchTempest.com allow you to expand your search radius to include any location within your current zip code, it also throws in all the relevant eBay listings as a bonus.

In the event that the skeptic in you is wondering: no, neither SearchTempest nor any marketing company related to it coerced me into or compensated me for the production of this post. I’m just an obsessive car collector that spends more time than I should virtually car shopping, trying to convince myself that an ‘86 L7 that’s probably riddled with electrical problems is a great investment.

(Hat tip to Caio Campos for exacerbating the illness)

Adding to the Ford Flex’s already sizable reputation as one of the coolest people movers on the market, the Friends of the National Automotive History Collection (NAHC) recently bestowed upon it a new honor, awarding it 2009’s “Most Collectible Vehicle of the Future.” Apparently, the Flex’s unique, retro-modern styling not only makes it a hear turner today but also guarantees it plenty of limelight at the Woodward Dream Cruise in 2034.

Ford is naturally elated by the news. “We are delighted that the Ford Flex has been recognized by the NAHC as having a design that will become a collectible of the future,” said Kate Pearce, Flex marketing manager at Ford. “We knew from the start that we had a vehicle with stand-out design that looks like nothing else on the road, but that also meets the needs of our customers looking for passenger space with innovative technology and great fuel economy,” she said. “Reaction from our customers has been fantastic and we hope they will enjoy their cars long into the future.”

Of course, some critics may dismiss the optional wood paneling, mini fridge, and panoramic moonroof as red herrings meant to distract from the fact that, at its core, the Flex is nothing more than the Windstar’s cleverly-disguised successor. While they may be right in some respects, it is imperative that naysayers not forget that while the Flex may posses some inherently minivan qualities, it still remains unparalleled in its class. In 2034, the Dodge Caravan will be rusting out behind a tool shed in northern Michigan, the Toyota Sienna will be scattered in charred bits along I-95, and the Honda Odyssey will still be lame.

Source: Ford

Today’s AutoTrader/Craigslist/eBay find of the day came down to a tight race between a matte black technician-owned 1997 M3 out of Arizona and the Techno Violet E36 M3 pictured here. The cars were virtually the same with the only noticeable differences being the color, 20,000 miles, and $1,400 large. Neither came equipped with a proper transmission, however, which means ownership is largely for show and when using that logic to individually evaluate the two, Techno Violet was the clear winner.

Unfortunately, although the Brosport currently leads a peaceful life in a small used import dealership in South Carolina, what the AutoTrader listing fails to disclose is that prior to a year and a half ago this particular E36 was registered in the FEMA-sanctioned flood disaster land of Mississippi (hat tip to Carfax). There is no salvage title to confirm that it was directly affected by Hurricane Katrina though, so don’t dismiss it entirely until you’ve completed (or hired out) a thorough inspection…or the mildew particles become airborne.

Source: AutoTrader

Full disclosure: the next journalist to use some variation of the word “cracked” to describe the Honda P-NUT’s debut is getting kicked in the shins at the next auto show. I’ll be watching.

Unlike the majority of the unpalatable concepts that have littered Honda’s booth for the better part of 2009, the Personal-Neo Urban Transport (P-NUT) does not immediately offend the senses. As a matter of fact, the angular front fascia and the well-defined, sloping shoulders are actually quite attractive and almost lend Honda’s design department an air of hope. “Almost” being the operative word.

Unfortunately, the P-NUT unveiled live in Los Angeles last week is not a production-ready urban crawler but a purely a conceptual interpretation of the soul-sucking enviro-friendly vehicles Honda promises to roll out in the future. Apparently, the RWD, rear-engined P-NUT’s primary objective is to demonstrate that there is hope for the ultra-compact city car beyond the ugly, underpowered options currently available today, which is basically akin to performing a digital makeover. The immediate reaction is positive…and instantly killed by the harsh smack of reality.

Bottom line: if you want small, fun, cool and only slightly fruity, buy a MINI Cooper. If you want small, marginally faster than a pair of Rollerblades, and guaranteed to score you plenty of dude poon, buy a smart ForTwo. See Honda? Theoretical problem solved. Now get back to work on the CR-Z.