Rising Artist

Make No Apologies

2012-01-24T21:43:00.000-08:00

I finished the underpainting of this one today

I was recently talking to an artist friend who was starting to second guess her decision to be a full-time artist. Apparently her family and friends were starting to wonder when she would stop with this hobby of hers and get a "real job". It was time to be an adult and a productive member of society and you couldn't do that while being an artist, right? Art is a hobby, it's not a career choice. Nobody can support themselves on art alone. Blah, blah, blah.

Now as a working artist, I've heard these comments, and more, from my own family (not so much from friends...mostly because they are usually artists too), as I am sure most of you have also. Some people don't seem to understand why anyone would give up the security of a "real job" and subject themselves to a subjective and critical art world, especially in this economy. It doesn't seem like a plausible career choice and they don't understand when someone they know makes this decision. Because of this, they feel the need to make comments that can start to wear us down and even second guess ourselves.

As artists, we have to have thick skins. A thick skin is required in order to get over rejections and criticism, but perhaps even more damaging is the doubt and fear we hear from our friends and family about our career choice. These are the people who love us and if they don't think we can make it as artists, then surely we can't, right? WRONG. Our friends and family may mean well but that doesn't mean they know more than we do. They don't understand the passion it takes to be an artist.

I worked on the water a little more today. It's still looking
like sand. I think I will let this "rest" for awhile and work on the woman
while I contemplate how to make the water look like actual water.

With enough determination, motivation, hard work, and talent it is possible to make a living as an artist. People are doing it even in this economy. You just can't make any apologies to ANYONE for wanting to create art. You can't be afraid to put yourself out there. You need to work hard and create often. Art may not be a conventional way to make a living, but it is possible. It can be done and I'm going to do it.

Three-Day Weekend

2012-01-23T19:32:00.000-08:00

I LOVE three-day weekends! I have had them for the past two weeks due to Martin Luther King Day and Lunar New Year (that's San Francisco Unified for ya!). I can get so much more work done when I can spend more than one full day painting. I get into a groove, my painting mojo starts flowing, and I can paint for three FULL days. Who wouldn't love that? We really should consider having a four-day work week with a three-day weekend all the time. I think more than a few of us would appreciate it.

Here's what I worked on today...

I was really sad to leave the studio without this underpainting
done....but I had a long-awaited massage appointment. I'll get it done tomorrow.

Can you tell she is playing in the waves? Yeah, I know. Needs more work.
It's still in the underpainting stage so there's still hope that it will look like water.

It Comes with the Job

2012-01-19T20:20:00.000-08:00

For the past three days I haven't had much time to paint. I have been at the studio, I have worked on art, but none of it consisted of me actually picking up a paint brush and applying paint to a panel. This is the life of a working artist. Sometimes you don't get to actually paint.

These last few days I have had to deal with both FedEx and UPS dropping off artwork without a signature and leaving them on doorsteps (FedEx leaving work at a gallery doorstep and UPS leaving work on mine). This caused a tremendous amount of panic and worry on my part about paintings being stolen and cracking while sitting outside in the cold. Two pieces were damaged this way and because of this, I needed to find someone who could repair the work, which was in the East Coast. Coordinating this across the country was no easy task. It took a lot of emailing, phone calls, and keeping fingers crossed, but I did find someone who was able to repair my work over the weekend and return it to the gallery on Monday (THANK YOU Lynette Haggard and Laura Schiff Bean!).

I got very little done on this painting...

Since UPS left three boxes of paintings on my doorstep, I had to race home as soon as I could and retrieve the work. Once I lugged the large boxes back to my studio, unpacking and examining them was next on my agenda. Six of the 12 returned pieces were going to be included in a designer's showcase (along with 4 other of my pieces that were packed and picked up the day before) so I needed to repack them after I lightly fused and polished each pieces. Inventory sheets also needed to be written up and emailed to the appropriate places. My website then needed to be updated so that each painting had the correct asterisk detailing where you could find the work.

The next day included coordinating with my art rep and another artist so that I could pick up this artist's work and deliver those pieces, along with mine, in time for the designers to install the work for the showcase. The work was picked up and dropped off and I headed home in order to write and send out my latest newsletter which announced my new gallery representation and that I was participating in the Affordable Art Fair this weekend. Email addresses were updated, the newsletter was sent out, and I was done.

During these three busy days my painting was left untouched. Poor little painting...

Sometimes this happens. The business of art gets in the way of painting. Frankly, there is so much that needs to get done when your are a working artist which has NOTHING to do with actually producing artwork, that you are bound to have a few days like these...on a regular basis (although hopefully without the FedEx or UPS drama!). It comes with the job and you just have to deal with it. I know most of us would rather just sit in our studios happily painting away while someone else deals with this stuff, but you can't survive as a business person (and let's face it, art IS a business) unless these tasks get done. If you're lucky, you have an art assistant or an intern, but even with help, some things you just have to do yourself. It's a fact of life.

These last three days were hectic but now things have calmed down again and I can get back to the part that I enjoy: painting.

New Gallery in Boston!

2012-01-17T19:35:00.000-08:00

I am so happy to finally be able to announce that you can now find my work at Lanoue Fine Art is Boston, Massachusetts! They currently have my latest four paintings so if you are in the area, stop by and take a look.

In other news, here's an update of what I have been working on:

This one is coming along... I should be done with this soon.

While I was waiting for paint to dry, I started this one.
She's in the ocean reaching down, touching the waves in
case you couldn't figure out what was happening.

Birthday Eve

2012-01-15T10:14:00.000-08:00

It's not even 10am on the eve of my birthday and my husband and I were woken up about 45 minutes ago to a commotion in our neighbor's apartment. Since we have paper thin walls, we could pretty much here everything once we turned off the white noise machine (we could hear a lot with the machine on too). Our neighbor, who judging from the noise we would hear periodically, was dying from a VERY painful disease. Apparently he died this morning and the family did not get to see him before he passed. The anguished family, who were screaming and crying out while banging on the walls, were the ones that woke us up. We had never met this neighbor since we had different entrances and because he was sick, never left his room, but we did listen to him moan loudly for the past several months. It's sad to hear through the walls that he died, and even sadder to hear that the family did not get to say their goodbyes. Their mournful regret was pretty painful to hear.

My newest painting that I started two days ago. It's a 24"x30" panel.

So why am I telling you about this? My post today was going to be about how every year, around my birthday, I go through a phase of beating myself up for not being who I expected to be by this time. I would compare myself to others who were further in their careers or had things I wanted, like a house, a happy marriage, perhaps even some children. I was really good at making myself feel like I didn't "measure up". I guess this is part of what makes me so ambitious and drives me to achieve so much, wanting to "measure up", but what I had accomplished was never enough. My achievements were never enough. I never "measured up" to the image of who I was supposed to be in my head.

It's a horrible thing to do: compare oneself to others. I'm sure I'm not the only one who does it. I'm sure even successful people, every once in awhile, compare themselves to someone they don't feel that they can ever "measure up" to. It's human nature, at least I'd like to believe that's where it comes from. Maybe I am wrong and it's just the way I think. I have been wrong before (but don't tell my husband that!).

I finished the underpainting today, after I wrote this post...

At any rate, this is the first year I am not beating myself up for not measuring up. I have a great marriage with a wonderful husband and my career is sky-rocketing. Could I have more sales and a new house instead of an apartment? Sure, and I still want those things, along with other things I haven't talked about. But for the first time in a very long time, I'm pretty content on where I am in my life. I do wish I wasn't getting so old, but it's not tearing my apart inside like it used to. I am happy and with happiness comes contentment at where one is in life. It's a good feeling.

Listening to my neighbor dying and hearing how anguished his family was also put things into perspective. It's a sombering way to wake up but it made me think, on this eve before my birthday, that I am lucky to be alive and surrounded by people who love me. Rest in peace neighbor guy.

I started this one today also while waiting for paint to dry.

First Painting of 2012 Started

2012-01-08T18:01:00.000-08:00

It's a new year and a new painting has been started. Usually it takes me a few weeks to get back into the swing of things and start painting again. Family obligations, errands, and the all-consuming activities during the holidays can make it difficult to get to the studio. In addition, I'm usually in a holiday funk around this time of year, which can make being creative hard. But this year, who has time to take a few weeks off? Not me. I was busy painting and trying meet deadlines during the holidays and didn't have time to get in a funk. Yay!

Here is the latest painting, which I have worked on for two days so far. It is still in progress but I'm thinking another two sessions and it will be done. The painting is 30"x30". I seem to be painting larger now. 16"x16" panels are now starting to feel too small and the smallest I NOW want to work in is 24"x 24". I remember back when that size seemed so big and my favorite size was 12"x 12". Funny how things have changed.

2011 in Review

2012-01-02T10:37:00.000-08:00

One of the last three paintings of 2011.
"Polka Dot Umbrella", 24"x24"

This blog post probably should have been written and posted while it was still 2011, but life tends to get in the way sometimes, and this year, instead of beating myself up for things that I can't control, I have decided to just go with the flow. So now, instead of having this done last year, I am just now getting to taking a look back at my year.

I think it's important to always take a look back and see how you did at the end of the year. As artists, and really just as human beings, we tend to get down on ourselves for what we didn't accomplish. We forget to look back and celebrate what we did do and how far we have come. We need to look at all of our accomplishments, big and small, because each of these is part of our growth and shapes us as artists. I try to remember that the journey is just as important as the end goal.

Thinking back, the beginning of 2011 seems so long ago. The pieces that I painted back then seem like they are at least two years old, until I look at the back of the panel and see that in fact, they are only a few months old. I think it's because my skills and confidence have grown so much in the past year. Painting A LOT can do that to you. Looking back, I painted a little over 60 paintings. That's roughly one painting per week! It's true what "they" say: you must paint and keep painting a lot to improve your skills.

I finished this, along with the other two pieces, on Saturday.

I wanted to make sure that all the pieces I started in 2011

were finished in 2011.

"Inner Tube and Cape", 30"x30"

Part of the reason I painted so much last year is because I had many commitments to galleries. I started the year with 5 places showing my work. By May I had decided two of the galleries weren't right for me. I was panicked at first about leaving them, thinking that I somehow NEEDED them, even if the situation wasn't perfect. I learned a lot during those months and found that I didn't need to have subpar treatment of me or my work and to trust that other galleries would want to show my paintings. So I left those galleries and ended up replacing them with FIVE others and have a sixth in the works. Holy crap! Looking back, when I finally did a count, that blew my mind. It took reviewing my year to see how HUGE that was and how lucky I am to have so many people believe in my work.

I finally finished the shadow on this one. I still didn't figure

out why the raw umber goes randomly from cool

to warm sometimes. Adding white really didn't affect it,

like some suggested. I still got warm and cool shades of

beige. I guess it's just going to be one of my

painting mysteries I'll need to solve in 2012!

"Third Wheel", 40"x30"

Another accomplishment for me was FINALLY taking a painting class. Having majored in liberal studies and getting my masters degree in math education, I don't have the art background that I would have liked to of had. It's not that I need an art degree, but I do love learning and wanted to learn how to paint in color, using old master techniques. Even if I don't paint this way in my daily life, I learned so much and I can see that my paintings have improved. I don't ever want to get stagnant in what I do. I want to continually learn and improve my skills so that my work never becomes boring to me or my viewer.

There were other accomplishments last year, like getting my show reviewed in three magazines, showing my paintings in some great shows, and presenting at an encaustic conference. There were also some non-art related accomplishments that I am very pleased about. So I didn't meet some of my goals for the year. That happens. Overall, I think 2011 turned out to be a pretty great year. As I sit and make my "list of things to do in 2012", I think that 2012 will be an even better year with so many great things in the horizon.

Thank you so much for your continual support of me and my paintings. Happy new year everyone! May you have many wonderful accomplishments in the coming year.

This one finally got waxed this weekend too.
"Beach Babes", 30"x40"

Back in Sync

2011-12-30T10:47:00.000-08:00

For the past two weeks I have felt out of sync. Nothing on the painting I was working on seemed to
work out the way I wanted it to. The paint wasn't blending the way I wanted it to; tones didn't seem correct; everything seemed to be a messy and sloppy. I was working on painting number two for an important deadline and really needed to have everything come out as close to perfect as possible. You've already heard me complain about the painting with the two guys and a girl sitting on a box on a pier to know that that was a troublesome piece. It is also the piece I have been working on for about two weeks.

Thinking back, I realized that during that time I was sick with the flu and was also suffering from some intense neck and back pains. No wonder I was out of sync! My body and health were a wreck! Now that I am feeling better my work is starting to flow again...should that really be a big surprise? And yet, somehow, I didn't make the connection until recently. Sadie Valeri, who I recently took a painting class with, said during class about a month ago, that you really need to be at your best in order to paint at your best. In other words, being hung-over, drunk, high, or even sick are just not states to be in in order to paint well. Also, being tired or hungry can also be added in to the "not good states to be in for painting categories" since they affect your body and mind too. It didn't make much sense to me when she said it, but now I'm a believer. After being sick for two weeks and really struggling with my painting, I've come to the conclusion that Sadie is right.

I was so frustrated with how I was painting and beating myself up for it, not thinking that my health had anything to do with it. I'm really good at getting down on myself when my paintings aren't turning out the way they should when really I should have been doing is asking myself "am I tired? hungry? sick?" and evaluating myself based on that. Like I said in previous posts, sometimes the obvious reasons/ solutions don't come to me quickly. Experience is really teaching me a lot about studio practices, even if it may come slowly to me.

Two days ago, when I decided to just let the painting I was working on "rest" (it was that or take a hammer to it...I was that frustrated with it) while I did something else, everything started to "flow" again. I started two new pieces and finished the under-paintings rather quickly and with ease. My juices are flowing again and I feel good about what I am painting...and guess what? I'm not sick anymore and my neck and back are feeling better! I may actually get these two paintings done by Monday, which is my goal. I still have to go back and finish the painting of the two guys and the girl on the box, but I'm thinking after a break from it, and now that I am feeling better, it shouldn't be such a struggle.

So what's the lesson here? If you aren't feeling well physically (or mentally), sometimes it's just easier to rest and get better than to force yourself to do work. It may not always be possible (I do have deadlines), but in a perfect world, we would only paint when we are at our best physically.

I startes this one on Wednesday and only had one of the women
painted in. I finished the under-painting yesterday.

As the previous painting was drying, I started this piece. I am still
working on the umbrella and decided that I would get that as "finished" as
possible instead of just doing a quick underpainting since the
polka dots are a bitch to paint.

Stop Motion Video of "Motor Bike"

2011-12-29T09:56:00.000-08:00

After much nagging and begging, my husband has finally finished putting together the "poor man's" stop motion video I made of my painting, "Motor Bike", which is available at Whistler Village Art Gallery. You can really see my process and the progression on the first half of the video as I paint in the underpainting. The next two layers of paint are a lot more subtler on the video. It's the fine tuning that is always harder to see this way but is more obvious in person.

In other news, I have been struggling trying to get painting number two done (that will hopefully be going to a new gallery soon). I don't know what it is about this painting that has been a pain, but almost every step of it has driven me crazy. Maybe it's me and I am just out of sync. I don't know. The latest problem is the shadow. I painted it in yesterday using the same tube of raw umber and white oil paint as the rest of the painting, but it seems to be "warmer" than the rest of the piece, causing it to be "forward" in the work and throwing off the perspective. I'm not sure why it does this sometimes, but it has happened in other pieces, and it's driving me crazy. I think today I will just paint over it and hopefully the paint will decide to be "cool" today. It really does feel like it is a random choice by my tubes of paint sometimes. I have tried all different methods of painting with these tubes and it will randomly "decide" to be warm in the oddest times, regardless of HOW I use the paint. Maybe it's because I haven't had much training on oil painting, but I just can't figure out why. Please let me know if you have any thoughts.

The shadow is looking like an oil spill at the moment...

While the paint was drying on my troublesome painting, I started a new piece. It is VERY rough, as are all of my paintings that are still in the underpainting stage, but here it is anyways:

Christmas is Over. Now What...

2011-12-26T21:01:00.000-08:00

Now that Christmas is over I no longer have an excuse to sit at home, underneath a blanket, watching movies for hours with my husband. Now I must get my lazy-ass off the couch and finish some paintings so that I can ship them to some awaiting galleries. Here's what I have so far on the latest:

There is still SO much to do on this one! This is
when a clone would really come in handy...

On a different note, this is WAY late, but here's my final egg painting from my painting class. I am pretty happy with it. It was looking like a potato for awhile so I'm just glad it looks like an egg now.

Necessity is the Mother of Invention

2011-12-21T22:36:00.000-08:00

Necessity is the mother of invention...or at least the hunt for a suitable apparatus for my unique needs.

The background story:
Recently my husband bought me an iPad so that I could have my reference images on the tablet. He thought this would make my life easier and my paintings stronger, and he was right. Before getting the iPad I would print out my reference images on my somewhat-decent printer. The images weren't always big enough, or clear enough. Often times the images would be darker or lighter than the original, but it was workable. I didn't realize how much detail I was missing until I got my new tablet. By having the images on my iPad I am now able to enlarge the area that I am working on. The images are clearer and since I can see more detail, my paintings can now be more detailed.

There was only one problem... with a paint brush in one hand and a palette in the other, the only place for me to place the iPad was my lap or table. I would have look down on my lap or my table and the strain on my neck was becoming very painful. I needed a solution and I needed one fast.

The solution:
Enter my genius husband, Ben. He went on the search for an "arm" that could attach to my easel that would make my iPad flush with the area I was working on on my panel. He found a lot of "arms" but most of them would permanently affix the "arm" to one spot on the easel and my iPad would also have to be screwed into the contraption. This would not work. I needed something I could move around my easel, depending on where I was working. I also didn't want to have my iPad permanently attached to my easel and left in my studio, which is an open area with 60 other artists. After some more searching, Ben found a wheelchair "arm" for tablets that could easily be clamped on to the top or bottom of my easel. It also has three articulating joints that allow for trouble-free positioning of the screen. Once positioned, the "arm" is then locked into place securely. It seemed like the ideal choice.

Today was the first day that I was able to use it and it works PERFECTLY! Adjustments were effortless. I was able to move the "arm" around to two different positions easily and quickly. More importantly, my neck didn't hurt at the end of the day since I was able to situate the iPad at eye level. I think this "arm" will save my body from a lot of unnecessary strain and pain which will allow me to paint well into old age.

My latest painting...

The arm started off attached to the top of the easel
so that I could work on the top portion of the painting.

I moved the arm to the bottom of my easel when I started working on the legs.

My genius husband...

Winter Break

2011-12-20T16:47:00.000-08:00

Winter break is here and I'm feeling pretty healthy so it's time to start painting again! I love these vacation times because it means I can devote all of my time in the studio. I'm not tired from teaching during the day so I can get much more concentrated painting done. It's nice and I hope to go back to just painting full-time again soon cause this is something that I definitely can get used to.

I finished the painting portion of my recent piece and have started a new one. These two paintings (in addition to a few more I plan to get done this month) will be traveling to a new gallery that is considering representing me. It's a great gallery so the pressure is on to bust out some of my best work. I won't say which gallery just yet, I don't want to jinx anything, but trust me, it's a fantastic opportunity!

This is just waiting to be waxed! The panel is 30"x40".

I didn't get much done on this today but hope to have the underpainting
done by Friday at the latest.

And the Frenzy Comes to a Halt

2011-12-14T10:32:00.000-08:00

Sometimes the best laid plans fail...not for a lack of planning or a lack of skills. Sometimes unforseen things happen that just put a kink in your plans and make everything come to a screeching halt. What sort of kinks am I referring to? The tiniest kinds, that while microscopic, can ruin anyone's best laid plans. I am talking about the flu virus.

This is where I left off before I got too sick to paint.

I'm sure everyone is familiar with the symptoms of the flu and how miserable a person can feel when they have it. It can also keep you from important plans. I once had an audition as a singer for a band and had to cancel because I had the flu. My voice was wrecked in the "I sound like a fog horn" sort of way. By the time I was better, the band had found another singer. Now I am sick again and my carefully laid painting schedule that I had in place is now shot to hell. I haven't been able to paint for two days because I feel so miserable. Who knows how many days more I will need off. This, of course, is bad timing. With new paintings needing to ship by the end of the month (and one to a hopefully new, important gallery) I don't have time to be sick! But alas, those pesky flu viruses don't care about my deadlines and schedules. They don't care about my potential new gallery. They just want to spread and wreck havoc in my life, and quite frankly, I find that rude and inconsiderate. Unfortunately for me, I just have to ride this out until I feel better and can continue on my frenzied painting schedule. Good thing I am on winter break starting on Friday...!

I was only able to work on the girl on the left...

Let the Painting Frenzy Begin!

2011-12-09T08:59:00.000-08:00

Tis the season to paint until I drop. With many deadlines on the horizon, there's no time for relaxing as I had hoped. It has been a busy year and every time I get through a deadline and think I can relax for a bit, another deadline comes up. I don't think I have had more than two weeks off at a time this year, and with the economy the way that it is, I'd say I was pretty lucky. Lucky, but tired, that is. So while everyone else will be busy shopping and getting ready for this holiday season, I will be painting like a mad woman, again, hoping to get 6 paintings done by the end of this month.

Here's the first painting that I started yesterday. It is a 30"x40" and has five women.

No Regrets

2011-12-07T14:17:00.000-08:00

Today, as I was supposed to be creating my algebra 1 final (finals are next week), I decided to take a break and read up on some Facebook posts. One of the links that someone posted was titled "The Top 5 Regrets People Have on Their Deathbed". Ms. Bonnie Ware, a woman who worked with the dying for many years, compiled this list based on what people say aloud as they are dying. It sounded like an interesting list and I wondered whether or not I would have these same regrets.

My egg that I am working on in my painting class. I have always wanted to
attend art school. Now that I am older, I realize that taking classes at
different ateliers is more of what I need and want right now in my career.
Instead of constantly say "I wish I had the time to take classes...I
wish I taken my art career more seriously, I'm just doing it. No excuses.
Do what makes you happy.

Here it is:
1. "I wish I had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me."
Yeah, I don't think this will be an issue. Growing up my mother wanted me to be a nurse (because I was so patient...which is funny to those of you who know me now.) and my father wanted me to be an astrophysicist (I don't even know what that is!). I, being the stubborn child that I was, left home at age 17 to do what I wanted and just be me, whoever that me turned out to be. It's taken some years but I am doing what I love and am passionate about. I am a professional artist. My paintings are in many galleries and my career seems to be doing really well. I did also get my masters in math education and a teaching credential, but truthfully, I WANTED to do that and I actually enjoy teaching math (although I would rather paint any day rather than teach if given the choice). I can honsetly say that I have lived my life the way I wanted to live it.

2. "I wish I didn't work so hard."
Okay, maybe this will be a regret. I do still need to find a balance between work and play in my life (see previous post about finding balance), but being a hard worker is what has gotten me this far in life. Sure I have made some sacrifices for work, but it has no where near taken over my life. Balance is the key and I am working on finding it.

3. I wish I had the courage to express my feelings.
ANYONE that knows me knows that I'm pretty good at expressing my feelings. Some (ahem, my husband and family) may even say that I express them too much. Being an artist and former musician has helped with this. Whatever I couldn't express with with words I was always able to express with art or songs.

4. I wish I had stayed in touch with my friends.
This one is something I will probably regret. I'm just not good at staying in touch. I'm not a fan of talking on the phone, which can make keeping in touch a problem. Now with Facebook, texting, and email I am better at keeping in touch, but it's never been something I have been good at. I'm just not a very social person so it usually doesn't occur to me to reach out to someone unless there's a reason. I'm a horrible friend, I know. I'll work on this one.

5. I wish I had let myself be happier.
Hmmm, well, who couldn't be happier? If our choices decide what makes us happy, I'm sure there is always something more we can do to be happier. I think I am a decently happy person. Could I be happier? Sure. Everyone could be. Definitely something I will always be working on.

So, after reading this list, what will your regrets be?

Trying to Find Balance

2011-11-30T14:23:00.000-08:00

"Sailboat", 30"x30", oil and encaustic wax on panel.
Available at Whistler Village Art Gallery

Balance: A state in which various parts form a satisfying and harmonious whole and nothing is out of proportion or unduly emphasized at the expense of the rest.

Balance. It's something that many of us hope to achieve, but, if you are anything at all like me, you find it difficult to do. I am, by nature, somewhat of a workaholic. I do my best at whatever it is that I do, and I am always looking to achieve more. I am abitious and driven, and because of this, I often find that my life lacks balance.

In the past, I was always trying to find the time to paint. I had to find a balance between teaching during the day and painting after work. Painting was important to me (and still is) so I needed to find a way to work that into my schedule on a regular basis. Nowadays I don't struggle so much to make painting a part of my daily life. In fact, now I find that I don't do much other than paint, well, and teach during the day too, that is. I find that I spend every spare moment that I can in the studio, to the point of it being a "problem" some would say.

"Motorbike", 30"x30", oil and encaustic wax on panel.
Available at Whistler Village Art Gallery

If I am invited to spend the day out with a friend, the first thing that pops in my mind is "but this will take me away from the studio". If I need to make a doctor's appointment I think "but how will I fit this in and get into the studio?" I haven't been shopping or have done anything social in a long time because, that's right, it will take me away from the studio. Forget about getting sick. There's no time for that. IF by some chance I don't get into the studio for a day, I feel extremely guilty and start thinking that I am behind schedule. Everything that may come up during my day is time away from painting. I never thought I would say this, but painting is taking over my life!

Some of you may know that my husband was recently diagnosed with cancer, and while he is okay now, it was pretty scary for about a month. There were a lot of doctor appointments to attend, surgery, and other things that needed to be taken care of. Needless to say, there wasn't much time to paint. I was resolved to not getting as much time in the studio as I usually did. That's not to say that I didn't panic about the time away from the studio. I did...big time. It was during this time that I started to realize that my life was still off balance.

I guess all this time I thought that since I was painting every day, which I have had to struggle to do in the past, that I had managed to find balance in my life. After this past month, I realized I was just fooling myself. I am not leading a balanced life. I had just found a way to not make my day job keep me from art. My painting was out of proportion to what was part of the rest of my life AND it was "unduly emphasized at the expense of the rest". I don't go to the gym anymore. I don't socialize much. I don't do a number of things I used to do all in the name of art. As much as I like creating my art, I need it to not take over my life.

It's a struggle, balance. I'm still not sure how to find it, but now that I am aware that there are other things in life that are important and should have some priority (you would think at this age I would know that already!), I can only hope that I am a little closer to being a well-rounded, balanced person.

Confession: I am a Blender.

2011-11-21T12:14:00.000-08:00

Day three of my painting class was yesterday and it was there that I learned that I am a blender. "Hello, my name is Jhina Alvarado and I am a blender". There. I've said it. Normally, being a blender is not a problem. I have been doing it for years, blending colors together into a seamless transition. My paintings didn't seem to suffer because of it. In fact, I got pretty good at blending and my paintings got better. I didn't think it was a problem until I started THIS painting class.

For the method that we are using in this class, blending is not "allowed". We are learning to do little tiles of color that transition one shade to the next shade of the color. There is no blending involved. The eye does the blending for you. This helps you learn about tones and shading and makes you really think about what shades go where and how they relate to each other. It's a way of teaching yourself to see transitions and the "true" shape of the object you are painting.

At first I was doing my tiles but, me being me, couldn't stand to see the seams, so I blended them together. Then I couldn't stop blending. I blended the tiles so that the transition was more seamless. Then I just kept blending and blending...and, well, blending. Next thing I knew, I had obliterarted all of my tiles and the painting looked like something I would normally do (although a less accurate version). Now this may seem like an okay thing to do, I have been painting for awhile and doing well with it, BUT then I thought why was I taking this class? If I was just going to paint like I normally do, what was my purpose for being here? What was I learning if I wasn't following instructions on this technique and trying something new?

So despite my NEED to blend, I had to go back and do the exercise over, the way it was supposed to be done. It didn't feel natural, but what I did notice was that my egg looked more like an egg rather than an oval with weird dents in it. I was learning to "see" what I was doing. Am I a reformed blender after one session? Definitely not, as you can see from my painting. It still has blended areas and my tiles are not as visible. I am a work in progress, as is my painting. I may never master this technique and it may not change my habit of blending in my own work, but if by going through this process I can learn to "see" clearer and be a better painter, then this process is worth it. Sometimes you have to give up what you know, what may even be innate, in order to learn a method that will ultimately improve your overall skills.

In other news... I am almost done with the painting of the girl with the bike. The bike needs a little more detail but I am hoping to have it done in two more session. The plan is to then work on a 30"x 40" painting on Wednesday until Sunday (since I have those days off), wax and ship these two paintings on Monday to Whistler, then work on a few 6"x6" paintings that are due by December 2nd. Of course, this could always change, as schedules tend to do. But if I keep up with it, I THINK then I will be caught up enough to take a little break before the next batch of deadlines come up.

Clones...Where Can I Get One?

2011-11-16T20:08:00.000-08:00

Today was one of those days where I could have really used a clone of myself. Think about it, I could have a person who thinks and talks like me, and in more importantly, paints like me. How perfect would that be? Especially now that I am in the thick of multiple deadlines, having a clone who can help me PAINT would be awesome! Or, maybe even a clone that could teach math like me so I could leave that version of me in the classroom while I painted! That sounds even better. I wonder which would be harder to get: a clone that paints like me or one that teaches math the way I do? Hmmm. I guess it's really a moot point since neither will be happening in time for me to get these next batch of paintings done.

Well, back to the painting version of me... I am working on the 4th piece for my new gallery in Whistler. I just heard from the director. She loved the first three images I emailed her and wants MORE. Yikes! These all need to ship at the end of the month. Ideally, I'd finish the one I am working by Saturday and a 30"x40" next week. These, in addition to the six 6"x 6" pieces my art rep wants by December 2nd, are what I have on my plate for the next two and a half weeks. I am debating on giving up sleep, but truthfully, it wouldn't help. I am horrible about painting once it gets dark. I have never been able to paint at night. I don't know what about the darkness makes my brain shut down, but it happens. Maybe the clone version of me won't have a problem with that and we can take shifts. I paint during the day and sleep at night. Clone-me can sleep during the day and paint at night. Sound like a perfect plan to me. Now where can I get one of them clones...?

The latest painting. I have no idea what parts I am painting on that bike since I really know
nothing about them. I am just painting shapes and shadows while keeping my fingers
crossed. I hope it looks like a working bike when I am done! I am also taking a picture of the
painting every ten minutes so I can make another stop motion video. I am trying to be
better about getting enough images, hence the timer to remind me to take the picture every
ten minutes. Apparently I didn't have enough to do already...

Open and Closed Grisaille Painting

2011-11-13T21:37:00.000-08:00

Today was day two of my painting class and we worked on open and closed grisaille painting. The first layer is open grisaille where we are only to use burnt umber and a bit of turpentine to paint our image. No white is allowed, which made this pretty difficult for me. Paint kept lifting off if I went over the area more than once, which I couldn't help but do. I am used to using one color BUT I also use white in order to lighten my color. Because of this, the paint lifting off isn't as big as a problem since I am not using turpentine to lighten and shade my color.

With this first layer, the whitest part is the white of the panel, kind of like doing a watercolor, but not. Sadie said this was going to be the "adolescent" stage of our painting: the work would not look smooth (kind of like flawed skin), and she was right. My egg looks pretty bad and splotchy. Having never taken an oil painting class, I am glad to learn a technical side to painting, but I am not used to having my under-paintings look this bad. I know that under-paintings are just that, under-paintings, and that first layer can look like crap because there's no paint on the panel to create a smooth surface. Everything has to be built upon. I know this, which is why I am not freaking out just yet about how bad this painting looks so far. I have faith in the process...

In addition to painting our egg, we are also working on spheres as homework. Since I was done with my open grisaille work, I could move on to the next layer which is closed grisaille. Here I am allowed to use white, burnt umber, and ultramarine blue to make a black and shades of gray. Getting the grays to be a true neutral was hard. Mine tended towards a more "cool" shade with too much blue. I still have more work to do on this and will go over it with another layer of grays when I am done. Each layer I will be refining my sphere, making the transitions more flawless and smooth as I go.

In other news, I finished the painting portion of my latest piece. Now I need to wait for paint to dry before waxing it.

Two New Paintings and a Work in Progress

2011-11-11T18:34:00.000-08:00

"Every Dream is a Wish", 2011
24"x24", oil and encaustic wax on panel

"Gone Fishing", 2011
16"x16", oil and encaustic wax on panel

My current work in progress...

The Egg and the Girl

2011-11-08T13:48:00.000-08:00

This Sunday I started my first oil painting class (out of 6 total classes) with Sadie Valeri . Now some of you may be wondering why I am taking an oil painting class when I already paint in oils. Well, I do paint in oils, but if you haven't noticed, I only use two colors, which means I am good with tones but not color. I want to learn how to use colors and oil paint the "Old Masters" way. I want to learn how to make my colors look like jewels you can almost touch. I want my paintings to, well, glow. This class focuses on the Flemish style of painting, which uses a 7 layer process. I'm not quite sure what those 7 layers entail just yet, but I am sure I will find out. Sunday's class focused on drawing a single egg, which we will paint in the next five weeks. One egg, six total weeks. Yup, this will be a test of patience for me! But if it's anything like the figure drawing class I took with Sadie, I am sure time will fly and I will not have a completed piece by the end of the six weeks. As homework we have to transfer out drawing and then put a thin layer of a damar/ turpentine mix to seal it. I think I can handle that, no problem.

In other news, I am still trying to complete 4 new paintings before Thanksgiving so that I can ship these to my new gallery in Whistler, BC. I started painting number 3 yesterday. Fortunately for me, I am a quick painter and I am pretty sure this piece will be done by the end of the week. Check it out:

This woman is sitting on a sail boat. The final piece is 30"x30".

This is a close-up on the same painting. I am still in the underpainting stage of this...

Still life of an egg: I am working on the one on the right.

Can you believe this took me an hour to draw?

Review in Art Ltd. Magazine!

2011-11-03T17:38:00.001-07:00

Here's the third review of my show, Cinema Verite at JoAnne Artman Gallery, in Art Ltd. Magazine! I am so excited to have my work reviewed in an art magazine I subscribe to and read. The magazine should be in news stands and online soon, but here's a preview of the article. Thank you Roberta Carraso for the review!

Jhina Alvarado: “Cinéma Vérité” at Joanne Artman Gallery

It was just a paper grocery bag filled with old photographs from the ’40s; but for Jhina Alvarado, a San Francisco painter, it became the exciting source of her new series. The bag contained “piles and piles of images of people, most likely no longer living, and no longer remembered. More importantly the bag was stuffed with personal and forgotten memories.” The images were of people who could have been family, but in clothing, hairstyles, and a presence that told of another era, “when people didn’t look plastic,” but were flesh and blood and real. While considering how easily we acquire or lose memories, the ’60s documentary filmmaking style came to mind, a style that searches for truth through intimate close-ups and fleeting memories. This series forms the basis of Alvarado’s new show at Joanne Artman Gallery, “Cinéma Vérité.”

Alvarado sought to resurrect thoughts of the past, transforming forgotten people into contemporary images, for today’s generation, who know little of the pre-WWII era. A natural hand-held camera technique became adapted as painting on panel with only two oil paint colors, white and raw umber, giving the impression of an old and faded B&W photo, in the stark realism of a forgotten era. Like a vérité filmmaker, Alvarado endows each painting with a sense of mystery and anonymity—a woman lost in thought, four playful boys in bathing suits, kids dangling on monkey bars, several women on the beach. To remove their personal identity, she places a dark bar over their eyes. She also eliminates any background, allowing the viewer to focus only on the scene and its immediacy. Then she coats each painting with eight to ten layers of encaustic wax, giving the image a creamy surface, yellow and faded, blurred and fuzzy, distancing the viewer with a “Private, Keep Out” warning. But the textured wax surface also adds an ethereal quality that further releases each original image from the world of photography to sug- gest an anonymous, universal memory that is no longer tied to a par- ticular person, but is shared collectively, a relic that exists beyond time. Alvarado has since expanded her Cinéma Vérité series, using photos from the ’20s to the ’50s. With these enigmatic panels, she has become a cinematographer with paint, bringing the past forward, with a cinematic spirit she keeps alive in her contemporary paintings.

—ROBERTA CARASSO

Times Keeps Flying By

2011-11-02T11:12:00.000-07:00

Looking back at my blog, I have realized that I haven't been very good about writing thoughtful posts since I started teaching again. It has been hard trying to juggle a full-time job, leaving that, and then going to the studio to work another full-time job. Because of this, I haven't had much time to be social or to do much writing. I guess I could let my day job take over and paint less (as many people end up having to do), but it's really important that I make art come first, even if it means I have to sacrifice some sleep or free time. Art is what I want to do for a living. It is what I am passionate about and it makes me sane. I not only want to, but need to paint every day and I will hopefully be doing that as my ONLY job again soon. I can't let my day job cause me to slack off and paint less. Plus, with the large amount of galleries now showing my work, I have deadlines and obligations that I am not going to back out on. I am committed to making this work. So in the meantime, my blog posts will somewhat lacking in substance and my free time will have to be non-existent, but this is my life at the moment. It is what I have chosen to do.

Still working on this one. I need to fix her nose and mouth so that she doesn't
look so goofy. I am hoping this will be done by Friday. I'd like to be able to
send Whistler Village Gallery some images of what I am sending them by
the end of the week.

This one is pretty much done. I need to touch up the bar across her eyes and make the
lines crisp, but other than that, it is ready to get waxed!

New Gallery and Works in Progress

2011-10-30T17:14:00.000-07:00

I am very happy to announce that soon you will be able to find my paintings in Whistler, British Columbia, Canada! Whistler Village Gallery is now representing me and will start showing my work this December. I have 4 new paintings in the works for them and can't wait to see how their clients react to my paintings. They have two gallery locations, one in the Four Seasons Resort and the other in the Hilton Whistler Resort and will soon be opening a third. If you remember, Whistler is the beautiful resort town that hosted the 2010 Winter Olympics so you know it's a great place to go skiing. If you happen to be in the area, be sure to stop by and see my paintings!

Here are some of the pieces I have started that will eventually be shipped to this gallery:

There is still a lot of work to do on this painting but I am hoping to have
it finished tomorrow. It is 30"x30".

This is what the painting looked like yesterday.

This painting is much smaller, 16"x16". I just finished the underpainting today
and hope I will have enough time to finish it this week.

Coast Magazine Article on "Cinema Verite" at JoAnne Artman Gallery

2011-10-27T16:12:00.000-07:00

For those of you living in Southern California, be sure to pick up the November edition of Coast Magazine. There is an article by Roberta Carasso, about my paintings at JoAnne Artman Gallery in Laguna Beach on page 138! If you don't live in the area, you can go to www.coastmagazine.com and click on the icon for the latest digital edition of the magazine.

In other news...These are my latest paintings that will be shown at Richard J. Demato Gallery in Sag Harbor, New York. Richard and his knowledgeable will be exclusively showing my work from my new "What Remains to be Seen" series. More information about this new series will be coming soon...

"It's All Fun and Games", 30"x40", oil and encaustic wax on panel.

"Under an Umbrella of Doubt", 36"x24", oil and encaustic wax on panel.