Rite-It

Nancy Pelosi

2010-03-24T09:03:00.000-07:00

It was a beautiful day yesterday in Saint Louis. We had been glued to our television set awaiting the final outcome of much contention in our Congress regarding the Health Care Bill.   Attempts had been made since Theodore Roosevelt to extend health benefits to all as a "right." Well it has finally come to pass. No the sky hasn't fallen, and some could say that the heavens have opened up. The team came up to bat and the all stars hit the winning home run.

What a wonderful team they are; Obama with his winsome smile, indefatigable persuasive manner, and formidable intelligence and Nancy Pelosi with her winsome smile, indefatigable persuasive manner, and formidable intelligence, all made it come to pass.

Over the past couple of years, we have learned a great deal about our President, Barack Obama from both his friends and foes. But, little is known about The Speaker of the House, Nancy Pelosi. After much research, I have come up with the following facts. (1) Since 1987 she represented California's 8th District in House of Representatives. (2) Overwelmingly elected by colleagues in the Fall of 2006 as Democratic leader of House of Representatives. First woman in American history to lead a major party in U.S. Congress. (3)  Elected Speaker of U.S. House of Representatives on January 4th, 2007.

As a senior member of the House of Appropriations Committee, she has fought for American families. She certainly can relate to that inasmuch as she is the mother of five. Give this woman a task and no matter how heavy the load, she can carry the weight. Her mantra has been "extend educational opportunities, protect workers, promote health care, including women's health.

One of her first legislative victories was the creation of The Housing Opportunity for People with AIDS Program. Instituted acceptance of health insurance for people with disabilities with continuation of their health insurance coverage.

Speaker Pelosi comes from a strong family tradition of public service.  Her father and brother both served as Mayor of Baltimore. As they say the "acorn doesn't fall far from the tree." No mention is made of her mother, but I'm sure she was instrumental in shaping her womanly traits; family first, country next, and "always make sure your socks and underwear are clean" in case you get hit by Sarah Palin driving a Toyota."

In my opinion, we have witnessed a new beginning of "hope," It might be deflat the coffers of the rich, but I have learned we must all "give until it hurts." And after all, it won't hurt too much as we have a new Health Care Program.

Political Parties

2010-02-22T14:51:00.000-08:00

The Democratic Party is the oldest party in the United States, evolving from the Federalist Party which was estatlished in 1784. It has the most registered voters in the world. Numbers compiled in 2004 listed 72 million voters.  It's most staunch opponents are members of the Republican Party. Since I don't lend my financial support to this group, haven't bothered to run down the numbers.

Through the ages, "We the People of the United States, in order to form a more perfect union," have supported many different political parties. Some of those worth noting have been; Toleration Party - (1816/1827), Liberty Party - (1840/1848), National Women's Party (1913/1930), People's Party ( 1971/1976), and Looking Back Party - (1984/1996.)

In my recent readings and research, I have discovered another "Party."  Because of the widespread use of the internet - modern day concept of the book "The Medium is the Message." we are inundated with the infamous members of this group. Although some have received our scorn, others in the past have benefited from our accolades, monetary contributions, and downright adulation.

Webster's Dictionary defines the word "entitlement" as a government program providing benefit to members of a specific group. There is no chosen leader of this "Entitled Party," but Tiger Woods, during his 2010 Address to the Nation, was a somewhat contrite but articulate spokeperson.   He has had many notable citizens to emulate such as Franklin D. Roosevelt, John F. Kennedy, Bobby Kennedy, Bill Clinton, Mark Foley, Larry Craig, Elliot Spitzer, Mark Sanford, John Ensign, and Rev. Haggard who publicly cried out "Lord forgive me for I have sinned."

All I can say is that the National Women's Party established in 1913 and disbanded in 1930 should resurrect themselves . I will personally support them at the polls. With a solid block of votes, our voices with be heard. Listen all you narcissistic jerks, "we will not tolerate this type of immoral disrespectful sedition any longer." Hopefully Jenny will be our keynote speaker.

Gamesmanship

2010-02-07T08:57:00.000-08:00

In the game of life, the playing field is loaded with winners and loosers. For most, the goal has always been to be #1. How to achieve this ranking has always been a challenge.

"Hank" Greenberg was an awsome first baseman for the Detroit Tigers in the 30's and 40's. He hit 58 home runs in 1938, was designated a 5 time All Star winner, and named "Most Valuable Player by the American League 2 times. Ultimately recognized for his tremendous contribution to the game with his election to the Baseball Hall of Fame in 1956. First Jewish superstar in American professional sports. Refused to play baseball on Yom Kipper even though his team "The Tigers" were in the midst of the Pennant Race. His games only cost the taxpayers the price of a ticket, beer, peanuts, or a hotdog.

The other "Hank" Greenberg was chosen by his mentor to become the #1 recruit at American International Group (AIG.) Under his tutelage this international insurance and financial service organization operated in approxmately 130 countries and jurisdictions. If you played his game, the bonuses were immense. The choice players were recently awarded $444,000.00 for a golf retreat. Don't play golf, no problem. You could go on a $86,000.00 hunting trip to England. His new protector is now Uncle Sam. AIG is one of the largest recipients of welfare in this country. No one in the company has to fill out endless forms, just "show them the money." His game plan has cost the taxpayers 182 billion dollars.

What has made these two men with the same nickname and religion so different? After pondering my own question, think I have come up with the answer: The former "Hank" played to win for the benefit of others. The latter "Hank" played to win for his own benefit.

The American taxpayers are angry. Their shouts fill the stadiums with "strip the bum and his cronies of their uniforms and dispatch them to the Minors. Hopefully they will be benched for the remainder of their life contract.

Valentine's Day

2010-01-31T11:24:00.000-08:00

It had all started quite innocently when it began in 1994. Reminded me of the song "A Fine Romance." I remember it began like this "A fine romance with no kisses." When we first met, it was in an automobile dealership showroom. Not very unusual for me as people always said I knew what I wanted. Within a very short time we connected and a romantic interlude commenced. It wasn't perfect, but what in life ever is?

At first it was strictly platonic.   We traveled everywhere. California, Florida, and Boston were some of our destinations. I knew we would get there come rain, snow, or hail. Even if hell froze over - I knew we would get there! No surprises along the way. My family and friends were very complimentary. Thought I made an excellent choice.

In December, 2009, our love affair came to an end. The years had taken their toll. We had grown apart and it was time for a change. I really don't know if the feeling was mutual because once I made up my mind, that was it. No tears or recriminations, just time to move on.

Shortly after the cessation of our association, a new relationship began once again at an automobile dealership. Funny, most people say grocery stores are the way to go, but not so with me. The young man in the service department convinced me that this introduction would be faultless.  I don't know why he thought it would be an awesome match. He really didn't know me all that well. But, once again, a perfect connection was made.

They say that timing is everything. But, alas, things have not worked out as planned. Toyota has issued a recall on my spanking new vehicle. Seems that all of it's progeny have a severe developmental problem with the brake pedal.   Who knows what the future holds in store for the faithful.!

John Edwards

2010-01-22T10:15:00.000-08:00

The major newspapers and television channels have a "late news" scoop. It has been disclosed that John Edwards has a serious virulent disease, Pinnochioitis. Many of the doctors whom he sued for malpractice had diagnosed this illness, but all medical records are confidential. He did appear before nine laymen on many occasions They were a special breed of observers who had been handpicked to listen, contemplate, and offer their thoughtful input to his case. In addition, his appearance belied his condition. With his $400.00 haircuts, manicured nails, and well tailored suits, he looked the picture of confidence and good health.

The name "liar" has now been given to this afflication. Unfortunately, there is no cure, and the operation, that can only be performed by an ENT surgeon, is excrutiating. Also, at this time we do not have a nose transplant registry. He should have felt the heat when the National Enquirer began posting "liar, liar, pants on fire." If he had only heeded this chant from his formative years, maybe his outcome would not be so bleak.

Evidentally he thought he was untouchable. After all, he had taken all the precautions as prescribed by his advisors. Payoffs, disclaimers, secret liasons, subterfuge, were his medicines of choice. Unfortunately, not even a series of shots in the behind will decelerate his demise.

American Idol

2010-01-13T10:37:00.000-08:00

Heaven opened! The voice thundered, "come together and I will bestow upon you fame and fortune - maybe." And so they came, two by two or more with umbrellas held aloft. The shimmering Charles River appeared behind them as the rain steadily fell.

The 9,000 young dreamers were in Boston seeking an audience. They were not at Fenway, but the game of their life was at stake. As they came before the panel of judges, they would be acknowledged, lauded, redirected, discovered, upbraided, rediculed, chorographed, inspired, and analyzed. Those who passed the scrutiny would then "go on to Hollywood."

After many months of performing their routines, the final day of reckoning would come. We, the people would decide their fate. Some, who have been the "chosen ones" burned brightly for a fleeting moment. A few who have been annointed "winner" continue to rake in mega million dollar deals.

What has made this program such a huge success since 2002? Is it Paula with her ever positive bejeweled presence, Randy with his expressive "yo dog," or Simon with his acerbic comments, along with his spiffy undershirt waldrobe? Or perhaps, it is none of the above. Just our old fashioned "American Dream."

Google

2010-01-08T13:35:00.000-08:00

Google has become my dictionary, thesaurus, and unbelieveable source for all of my encyclopedic information. Google can provide gmail, maps, video, images, news, translation services, books, etc.. The list goes on and on forever. Got rid of the kid's ancient World Book the other day. Didn't feel like spending $1,000.00 plus for the updated additions.  If you are not familar with this search engine, which I find hard to believe, just "google" and you will see what I am talking about.

I am currently rewritting plots and overviews for a national DVD film distribution company. Even though I love movies, some of them have R ratings and I am too young to be exposed to their risque content. No problem, I just google their IPC ID and lo and behold there they are in living color.

Recently read that google is "seeking to tap electric power market." It has applied for approval to become an electricity marketer. With the current temperature lurking in the single digets in St. Louis, what I wouldn't give for this same opportunity. I wouldn't freeze you out of my utility, but you had better move south if you went with another supplier.

Google is a large tech firm. With it's gmail, maps, video, images, nexus one phone, news translation, book sites, etc., it has become a major player in the energy consumption field. It has not disclosed how many data centers it operates or their locations. Wise move, in time of energy cruches people would run a line from their television sets and refrigerators to this energy behemoth.. I would certainly hook up my electric blanket. According to my google search on "google," came up with an interesting statistic. It is quite common for large centers "to consume 30 to 50 megawatts of energy capacity." In 2007 it installed a 1.6 megawat solar aray on its headquarter's building.

In the larger scheme of things, Google could become a major supplier of electricity to other big buyers. It's not alone in this quest. Both Microsoft and Intel are viewing this opportunity to become a member of this exclusive team.   Hopefully they will all succeed in keeping our lights burning brightly and cheaply.

Go, google go! You are everything I have been searching for my entire life.  Currently I need a    recommendation for a good moisturizer to help with my excessively dry itching skin caused by my overheated house.

Jay Leno

2010-01-08T12:33:00.000-08:00

James Douglas Muir "Jay" Leno was born 4/28/50. You can already see that I have done my homework. His career has been meteoric with it's brillance of flashing stand-up comedy. He has been a winner as the host for NBC's "The Tonight Show With Jay Leno" since 1992 until May 29, 2009.

On September 14, 2009, rather than put him back into his garage with his huge car collection, tinkering and puttering away, NBC decided to offer him a new show. Probably induced by the fact that they had signed Conan O'Brien on as his replacement, and worried that Leno would switch networks and shatter their Nielsen ratings.

The "Jay Leno Show" appears on prime time TV 10:00 PM Eastern time. Jay is once again in the spotlight, sticking out his prominant jaw for all to see and jab. Some of the familar segments are still creative and funny such as "Headlines" and "Jaywalking." The "New Green Car Challenge" in my estimation is a dud. Who cares which celebrity can drive the fastest around a track, having an anxiety attack with those stupid obstacles popping out at them. Place them in a car at a Nascar Race, with both breath and death defying speeds and turns. Now that's a race!

Evidentally, NBC has come to the same conclusion that I have. The show is just not pulling in the viewers. He has a big bucks contract which will have to be honored. Top brass is contemplating moving him into the 11:30 PM slot for one-half hour. His time would then be available for a wonderful series like "Men of a Certain Age." But where are they going to come up with another Raymond Romano?

After analyzing the situation, think I have come up with a no brainer. Noticed that something is missing from the new set - the familar "desk." Put him back where he and his guests are most comfortable. After all this is a "job." How can you succeed in whatever business you pursue if you don't have a desk?

Depends

2010-01-02T14:28:00.000-08:00

Several months ago I visited my brother in a nursing home. Unfortunately he has since passed away, but there were many amenities which he was given to make him comfortable. One was a continuous supply of "Depends." I often questioned whether this was for the nursing home staff's convenience inasmuch as on many occasions I noticed he had not been changed often enough.

Recently our country has been confronted with another terrorist attack. A young Yemanite fanatical convert had been indoctrinated. His mission was to blow himself up along with all the passengers on the plane scheduled to land in Detroit. Evidently during the last segment of his journey he retired into the lavatory to make final plans for the ignition of the explosive strapped to his leg. Fortunately, his plan did not succeed, he was subdued by fellow passengers, and the plane was able to land safely.

Our wise TSA, along with government approval, has come up with a brilliant idea to help circumvent the recurrence of such a horrific deed. All lavatory rights will be suspended one hour before landing. If one has poor bladder control due to a large prostate, too bad. If one has a prolapsed bladder, too bad. If one has a coughing fit - creating a leaking bladder - too bad. What if the terrorist decides to execute his dirty deed midway through the flight before the one hour decree goes into effect?

I really don't know the answer to this very frightening situation. All I can recommend is that the rating agencies put a "buy" order on Kimberly-Clark. They manufacture these light-weight absorbant pads, briefs, diapers, underpants, etc., for both men and women. Might also suggest that the terminals have Depend dispensers in all their bathrooms. Until our government comes up with a better solution to protect it's citizens, at least we won't be embarrassed when suffering a slight leak. Might also suggest that all airline seats be outfitted with plastic liners.

The Whopper

2009-12-22T12:31:00.000-08:00

A recent group of essays in the New York Times made my antennas go on full allert. The "Big Whopper" was and probably still is a plump beef pattie on an oversized bun filled to the brim with lettuce, tomatoes, and whatever other condiment one's heart desires. Burger King had stepped right up and did a "whatever you can do, I can do better," refrain with it's arch rival McDonalds.

Article though wasn't about either one of these fast-food giant's offerings. These "whoppers were described as a lie to beat all lies. What motivates individuals to call upon their most creative thoughts and produce this "hard to believe, but in some instances "believable" utterances? Is it self preservation, embarrassment, unfulfilled desires, or I think that I am smarter than you?

Thought back to my years teaching first grade in Saint Louis, Missouri. There were many whoppers offered by my students throughout the years there. My favorite one was elicited by an adoreable youngster as to why his signed report card wasn't returned. Without blinking he told me that his parents had recently moved to London and they were still learning the language.

The consequences of my biggest "whopper" occurred when I was about 13 years old. Told my mother that I was going to the local ice skating rink. Not so! My friends and I walked to the park that evening, built a bon fire, and I proceeded to skate out to the center of the lake. Signs had been posted "no skating," but I was oblivious to all warnings. Within a very short time, the ominous sounds began to fill the air. Cracks appeared underneath my feet and as hard as I tried, could not find secure footing. Luckily, the lake wasn't too deep, I managed to pull myself upright, and clinging on for all I was worth, manuevered my way on my belly back to my friends gathered around the bon fire.

Finally, getting somewhat dry, I made my way back home. No questions were asked, therefore no connsequences applied. But it was a lesson well learned. If one is going to tell a Whopper, be sure you bring along a notary public to attest to it's legitimacy.

Tiger Woods

2009-12-15T12:38:00.000-08:00

At the age of two Eldrick "Tiger" Woods was picking up a golf club cut to his size. Maybe that's when it all started. He wanted a big stick like all the good ol boys. His father was his mentor, and Eldrick being a pleaser, hit his first hole in one by the age of six. No more hanging out with the kids at pre-school. No more daily snacks of crackers and milk or sliced oranges and afternoon naps. No more picture books with pop-up characters. No more Thomas the Tank stories or nursery rhymes. He might have been a natural raw talent, but at what price. I remember seeing him on the Johnny Carson Show. He captivated the audience with his poise, ability, and beautiful smile. None of that cursing, temper tantrums, and womanizing - that would all come later. His father did admonish him to "keep his shirt on;" in otherwords, to take his time and focus. First mistake his father made was not admonishing him to "keep his pants on" except for potty breaks.

And so the story goes. It was like a fairy tale with plenty of beauties and the all powerful sleek idolized "Tiger." He proved throughout his career that he was a worthy candidate for all the admiration. His game was unmatched by all contenders. By the age of 31 he had won 93 tournaments, which included 4 Masters Tournaments, 4 PGA Championships, 3 US Open Championships , and 3 Open Championships.

"Higamus,Hogamus, Women are Monogamous!
Nogamus, Higamus, Men are Polygynous!
Dorothy Parker

Is he our fallen hero? For the time being maybe. One bright spring day the isolation will end. The crowds will cheer and the "tiger" will have left his forest as the sun shines upon his approach ever mindful that all are watching. We will have given him a few newspaper swats for dirtying up our hallowed Golf Hall of Fame. If only his beloved daddy was still around. He would remind him that even tigers can get shot down if they stray too far from their lair.

Cain & Abel By Association

2009-12-02T09:32:00.000-08:00

Everyone says I have a wonderful memory. For the most part, it is true. However, there are certain tools that have to be employed to activate this "astounding" memory. The primary one is "association." I created this recall game during my painful Sunday School sessions. How to remember all those biblical names? Cain in my mind's eye was a young curmudgeon and Abel was his enabler. In other words, Cain carried a big stick and Abel let him carry out his misdeeds.

Where, when, and how is another story. A and I have had the good fortune to take some wonderful trips together with family and friends. Recall is not too easy now that we have reached our golden years. How does one remember the great fishing spots with the lunkers teasing our three pound lines? What beautiful shell-filled beaches coaxed B and M out of their warm beds with pails and shovels in hand? Where was the numismatic display, or the fabulous masters hanging? Who signed those important documents that are the foundation of our country and where are they displayed?

Fortunately, A, B, and M have always been fond of taking pictures to document our many adventures. Therefore, to facilitate my wonderful memory all I have to do is remember where I put the photo album. The answers are all there in living color.

Sarah Palin

2009-11-18T10:02:00.000-08:00

My mother, Sarah B. recently skyped me from Heaven. We communicate regularly, but I never heard such urgency in her voice. She implored me to post a message to her namesake, Sarah P.  Although I commented that she did selective reading, my mother winked and said "I betcha this will grab her attention." "Let's give it a shot."

The following are some major points she wanted her namesake to think about:

"Remember, clothes do not make the woman. You won the Miss Wasilla Beauty Contest in a skimpy swim suit. Also what were you thinking about when you wore that designer scarf to the turkey blood-letting?"

"Close the blinds so Russia is no longer visable from your window. Quit spying on your neighbor."

"Pretend the interviews with Katie and Charlie never took place.  Write your own questions for future interrogations and make all sign a document that restricts them labeling you a "local yokel."

"Forget your national political aspirations."  What if, in everyone's wildest imagination, you were elected President of  the United States.  But, after awhile, you decided you wanted to be back on the frontier with Tod, kids, and all your supporting cast of characters. This job won't be so easy to leave. Your strength will be tested.  How can one turn away from the the fabulous living quarters, wonderful medical care for you and yours, built in baby sitters, and  Air Force One. You will never have to spend another day in the kitchen Your personal chef will prepare all that you catch and shoot."

"You can really have it all without giving up your personal freedom. I suggest that you put together a team of dogs for the Iditarod Race for 2010. You are prepared mentally and physically after your run as Governor of the great state of Alaska, and your exhausting book tour. The Race will take you over 1,150 miles of the roughest and most beautiful land in the world. Your panoramic view of the majestic mountains , frozen rivers, dense forests, will continue to imbue you with the mantra "This is truly a great country." You will not be alone - your dogs will be your constant companions - never telling you how to dress, eat, or speak. You will have their total committment."

"From your start in Anchorage to a restart in the Matanuska Valley at Wasilla, to the final destination of Nome, even if you come in #611, you will still get a hero's welcome. Since you are very familar with this territory, I am sure this will be one of the most exhilirating races of your life. And, you will be home in three weeks"!

Bernie Madoff

2009-11-13T08:47:00.000-08:00

I hereby nominate Bernie Madoff for the Rob-em Hood Man of the Year Award. He and his merry band of thieves have stollen billions of dollars in a Ponzi- scheme operation that dates back decades. It's amazing how a Napolianic Complex (analytic disclaimer) can mold one's character.

In defense of his actions though, I'd like to note the following observations. Currently our unemployment rate is 10% and growing. If it weren't for the Madoff's lifestyle and materialism, our unemployment statistics could be even greater.

The Madoffs owned three houses and and three yachts, all requiring lots of due diligence. In all probability they employed upstairs maids, downstairs maids, cooks, drivers, gardeners, window washers, painters, carpenters, secretaries, dog walker, and a crew. If one would multiply these recipients of the Madoff largesse, it certainly was a big factor at keeping many from filing unemployment claims. He actually helped our government by reducing those seeking welfare payments and food stamps. As we all know, BM was the former chairman of Nasdaq. How closer can one get to the pulse beat of our economy?

National Liquidators will try to dispose of the three yachts, "The Bull, Sitting Bull, and Little Bull on Nov. 17, 2009. Those names alone should have alerted one's sense of "If it's too good to be true, it's too good to be true." But hey, who's going to turn their backs on such wise counsel? There is also an inventory of 40 extremely expensive watches on the auction block: Rolexes, Pguets, Mullers, Jaeger-LeCoultres, etc. Some have to be worn daily or wound frequently. Additional staff probably was employed to carry out this menial work, but, in our economy, a job is a job.

Rob-em Hood (BM) was sentenced to 150 years in prison. He will not be eligible for parole until 2039. By then, his cruising days and time will have probably run out.

Magic Johnson

2009-11-08T14:27:00.000-08:00

Basketball! The only games I attended were those played by the Harlem Globetrotters. It was almost as good as going to the circus and watching an amazing "magical" act on the court. Goose Tatum would provide the laughs with his clownish behavior, and sleight of hand. Never saw anyone bend, move, twist, and turn in such a manner. He befuddled the other team members and exposed their weaknesses. In my estimation he was the Rubber Man.

And then, along came Magic Johnson. This 6'8" giant was born in 1959. Was drafted by the Los Angeles Lakers as a 1st round, 1st pick player in 1979 and as his heft grew to 215 pounds, so did his legend. Never saw him play in person, but watched many of his 906 career games on television. He played a total of 33,245 minutes during his basketball career from 1980 to 1996 and scored a total of 19.5 points per game. He was inducted into the Hall of Fame in 2002.

Have you ever felt like a celebrity in your own right? I oftened wondered how it would feel to have the paparazzo reporting every mistep, misbehavior, misalliance, misactions, and other misadventures as my adoring fans cheered.

As the Marissa yacht slowly manuevered it's way into the French Riviera harbor, noted a huge contingency of enthusiastic people awaiting our arrival. After reviewing the manifest, it was obvious that our group of 12 passengers had not produced one Presidential, Nobel, Pulitzer, Caldecott, or Newberry winner. We did have one multimillionaire in our midst, but that was before the recent stock market crash. Took out my french dictionary and tried to translate the chant. which sounded like "magic, magic, magic." True our yacht was a magical sight with it gleaming 167 foot presence, but it had plenty of clones in the harbor.

As we disimbarked with pencils, pens, and wallet size pictures taken for such occasions, we noted that our host had a rather bemused expression on his face as he explained this wild greeting from our audience. His yacht had been leased out the previous week to Magic Johnson and his entourage.

Something had been lost in the magic of the moment for all of us!

Legacy

2009-11-04T10:25:00.000-08:00

Several years ago, I was asked by a mother to write a letter of recommendation for one of her daughters. Inasmuch as I was well aware of this young woman's many accomplishments, I was more than happy to oblige. In her teen years, she had sewn and designed her own wardrobe, was a lovely poised ballerina; received a coveted summer ballet scholarship, although she left before completion of the program and gave up her "dream." The ensuing years brought graduation from high school, college, marriage, two children - the prerequisite boy and girl - along with a hefty mortgage, well paying jobs, divorce, and substance abuse.

During the past week A an I have attended many programs presented by the St. Louis Jewish Book Festival. Helen Hunt, the keynote speaker spoke of her life growing up. She was acting by the age of nine. Her father, Gordon is a director and acting coach, her mother, Jane, is a photographer. Their legacy was to bestow upon her a creative foundation.

Jeffrey Zaslow spoke about Randy Pausch and their book collaboration, "The Last Lecture." Jeff's presentation brought laughter, and tears to the audience as he recollected the magic and love that his friend extended to both his family and students at Carnegie Mellon University. That was Randy's "legacy."

Also, Jeff's commented about the heroic actions of Captain "Sully" Sullenberger who managed to save the lives of all aboard the US Airway #1549 as it dropped into the Hudson River. Sully's father had committed suicide. This was a great influence on his desire to create his own powerful "I am my brother's keeper legacy."

The letter I wote that afternoon was to the young woman's Parole Board. I explained all of the important milestones and influences in this child, daughter, wife, and mother's life Further informed them that her father had suffered from bi-polar disease for many years. I implored them to release her for early rehabilitation and not let his illness continue to imprint upon her "legacy."

Duplicate Bridge

2009-10-30T09:37:00.000-07:00

Bridge is a card game of numbers, memory and logic. If I were chosen for the program "Jeopardy," my least favorite category would be numbers. My long and short term memory is still intact and for the most part, I think in a logical manner. Alas, my number sense leaves much to be desired. The foundation in grade school was poorly constructed due to lack of the prerequisite units of fingers and toes.

A and I recently joined a duplicate bridge group. Twenty-eight tables and one hundred and twelve chairs lined up across the large hall, awaiting the anxious one hundred and twelve participants. The animated group appeared to come from all walks of life. Their countenances took on a determined look as they approached their respective tables.

The first mistake we made, even before the game began, was to occupy one of the seats in the North/South position. This is a real faux pas for someone with "number's phobia". You are the "KEEPER of the SCORE, East/West declared in unision, and both produced a #2 pencil to facilitate our entries.

Next, the play began. The red digital monster stood atop the ledge ticking off the alloted minutes and seconds. It was amazing how old knarled fingers suddenly came to life. There is a system in place for playing duplicate bridge. Nothing is expressed verbally. All bids are withdrawn from a "bid box." In the next four hours the adage," silence is golden" became the code of honor. Some who were on diuretics got up, if they were dummy, to take a potty break. For the most part, the play went on uninterrupted for almost four hours.

The Director called the session to an end at the completion of the allotted time, the red digital monster was put back into it's safe haven, and the score cards were collected, tallied and posted. We left early. Understand we will be invited to return next week. It was a great leveling experience. Learned at least one profound lesson. Bring along a compass to find the E/W position until we learn the "numbers" game.

Infectious Dieting

2009-10-23T15:28:00.001-07:00

Many of my friends complain about their inability to loose weight. Fortunately, I have never had this problem. Food is not my favorite preoccupation although I do have a weakness for candy bars. None of the restaurants I visited during my 80 days around the world threw out the red carpet. Who wants to prepare cassoulet, puree of chestnuts, potatoes gandmiere and charcutier salad, topped off with a souffle glace with candied fruit, for someone who'd much rather munch and crunch on a 15 oz Baby Ruth candy bar.

After much thought and consultation with many weight loss gurus, think I have come up with a solution to one's excessive weight gains. Stay away from hamburger (e-coli), tuna (mercury), chicken (salmonella), lettuce (e-coli), hot dogs (nitrites), many canned soup brands (monsodium glutamate), and jelly beans (carnuba wax). One will be healthier and thinner, but now I have to solve another problem. What's left to serve for breakfast, lunch, snacks, and dinner?

Illness

2009-10-20T07:07:00.000-07:00

I have recently been afflicted with an insidious malady. It has kept me tossing and turning in the wee hours of the morning. Nothing seems to abate the debilitating symptoms. The need to "write" is overwhelming. My brain is spinning with both real and imagined musings. Where do I go with all of them?

I initially contacted Ayelet Waldman, noted published writer, asking for her professional help. Her remarks were somewhat insightful, and her suggestions might be the correct treatment to follow. But, the pill is very expensive and I don't think it would be covered by Medicare.

Jeff Zaslow, "Move On" columnist for the Wall Street Journal, also responded to my dire need for help. He tried to be as gentle as possible, even inquiring about my daughter whom he had dated a couple of times. Many years ago, he shared his grandmother's soup receipe, but in a case like mine, a steaming bowl will not help.

Sometimes, one has to be one's own advocate and know their strengths and weaknesses. I will continue to blog. Nothing, not even mogigraphia will stop me. Hear that all you agents and publishers out there.

Revenge

2009-10-18T08:25:00.000-07:00

Have you ever wondered why inanimate objects take on a life of their own? Our garage has recently manifested this proclivity.

It was suppose to contain and maintain all of our earthly goods such as lawn furniture, garbage cans, fertilizer spreader, wheelbarrow. insecticide, distilled water, pool equipment, balls, bats, sleds, bug zapper, shovels, spades, buckets, potting soil, clay pots, dog food, cat food, mouse traps, mosquito zapper, tennis rackets, newspapers, detergent, plastic bags, paper leaf bags, and two late model automobiles trying to avoid the rain, snow, hail, dust, and heat.

I guess our garage finally had enough of this infringment of its domain.. The other day it simply snapped. In a rage, it tore off the side mirror and left its mark on the front bumper of our vintage Toyota. Previous to that, it had dropped a rake, which had really just been hanging out, on our other vintage car.

We're not stupid, just old with poor eye sight, a heavy pedal food, lousy depth perception, and inability to judge how close we are to this brick and mortar structure.

Going to make a pact with this commanding presence. "Hands off, and we will give you space to breath."

Would love comments from anyone with similar inanimate experiences.

Connections

2009-10-14T10:00:00.000-07:00

Have you ever placed a telephone call, forgot who you were calling, and ended up in an utter state of confusion?

A funny thing happened on and at the Mahjong game today. Yes, I must admit I have become one of these women. Seems that my jewelry making, bridge playing, domestic duties, and writing endeavors do not take up enough of my free time, so I have succumbed.Wonderful opportunity to socialize, catch up on gossip and learn abou all those deseases lurking out there for the 75 and older crowd. Amazing how many glasses of water one has to drink in order to consume those multitude of flat, round, oval, square, and cylindrical style white, yellow, pink, and multicolored pills, caplets, tablets, etc. Our time breaks during our two and one half mahjong sessions attest to our water logged condition.

Cousin B and I were running late for our mahjong session. Partly my fault, had to wash my hair, and she had to drop some letters at the post office. Now if the collection box says "no pickup until 5PM," why wouldn't you drop your mail in your own box which I have noted is a permanent fixture on the front lawn with its open gaping mouth just waiting for a handful of her checks, letters, sympathy notes, get well cards, and sweepstakes entries?

Upon arrival at our destination, my phone began to ring. Inasmuch as we were already 15 minutes late for our 1:00PM game, I didn't answer. A & F had a look of consternation on their faces as we walked into the room. Since our mj date changes from Tuesday to Wednesday on a weekly basis, they were both concerned that we might have been confused. No confusion here, I still know my name.

Before we began, I had that phone call to return. As I dialed the number on my cell phone, A excused herself to answer her phone ringing in the other room. She was trying to connect with the party on the other line and I kept hearing her say, "who is this?" Almost seemed like an echo. You guessed it, two old biddies trying to figure out who was trying to communicate with whom.

Rejoice

2009-10-05T16:50:00.000-07:00

Picked up M for dinner at our club tonight. We will meet E & N S for informal dining. M announced that he and R were boyfriend and girlfriend. Two weeks and already they know. I guess it really makes it much easier. M won't have to have C take the spots off his kakis after a breakfast, lunch and dinner of toasted ravioli.

What does boy friend and girl friend mean today. In the 50's it meant that if the guy was in a fraternity, he pinned you. In my case, when my sweetie gave me his pin, he said "don't wear it yet." In other words, "I am unsure whether you are the girls of my dreams." What would you do in a case like that? I did what I thought my mother would want me to do. I smiled because I knew he would return. How could he resist my loving personality and spunky demeanor.

Dinner was rather uneventful. Full noisy crowd of people looking around and talking about important things like when they were leaving for the Winter season in Florida, Palm Desert, or other warm weather destinations. My sweetie and I have decided not to go. Will stay home and brave the harsh winter snows. Our trip this winter left much to be desired. Will go into in my next blog. Mother always said to leave the best for last.

High on the Holidays

2009-09-29T19:24:00.000-07:00

Can't blog about the Yom Kippur services, because we didn't attend any. Can't blog about fasting, because we didn't do it. If we didn't attend services and didn't fast, are we really among the "chosen people?" Since all of the males in our family have been circumcised, do you think that might count for something in the chosen ranks? Will have to pose this question to A when we take our long walks and run out of people and things to talk about.

Picked up M at Washington U. He drove us to S's grocery to stock up on supplies. Luckily we had rented a 12 passenger bus. Filled it to the roof with sundry items such as paper plates, paper towels, Kleenex, eye solution, water, power drinks, power bars, trail mix, musk or something equally as aromatic, and last but not least the mainstay of his diet, Toasted Ravioli. M said that he had been rather cranky all day inasmuch as he had fasted. Aha, we are the "chosen people."

Aunt M & uncle S had us over to break the fast, Was too embarrassed to admit that I had not participated in such a life-threatening endeavor. So I pretended to be absolutely famished and finished off five matzo balls, three bowls of soup, 15 slices of corn beef sans rye bread. Topped it off with a bacon, lettuce, and tomato sandwich, "turkey bacon." Have not been able to put a morsel in my mouth today, so do you think this could count as my "day of atonement?"

M's Boston Red Sox's pillow is completed. Took it over to have it finished and stuffed. Working on his Cardinal one. He is very wise. When entertaining his St. Louis friends he can proudly exhibit his very own Cardinal pillow and his friends can sit upon the Boston Red Sox's one. Theodore Epstein won't be too pleased, but hey, wild card winners can be all that proud.

In Conclusion

2009-09-27T10:47:00.000-07:00

This will conclude my day at the O show.

They called my name. With a palpitating heart and sweaty palms, I lead my group to our " special seats." We weren't on the stage, but were right smack in the middle section. Haven't been in such a wonderful position since the birth of my children.

The warm-up began, the studio lights were put on full power and after a question and answer period she appeared. Strolling across the stage, holding her red soled stiletto heels, she appeared as an apparition. She dazzled with her smile, style, and voice. The audience, 315 strong, arose as one body. The applause was deafening. I understand that Al Gore called to complain about the warmth generated by this love and adoration.

The guest panel consisted of five woman of varying ages. No, they didn't win the lottery, write a cook book blog, fly across the ocean blue, build homes for the homeless, or anything very esoteric. Sad to say they were a sisterhood of woman who had been infected with HIV by the same sleazy, smooth talking, lazy, oportunistic, and narcissist man - if one could call him that. It's a long story and fortunately he is now in jail for 45 years. I wonder if the prison population will shun him or he will be put up as their poster boy. Their stories naturally were very compelling and sad. He exploited their weakness and vulnerability. I have been told I was very smart to have chosen A. I in turn told her I was lucky. How fortunate one is to be both smart and lucky in many of life choices.

The show ended on schedule or even a little early. Everyone was encouraged to go across the street and shop at the O store. Contained all kinds of creature comforts that one could, would, and should purchase for oneself, kids, aunts, uncles, grandparents, pets, husbands, lovers, or just the girl next door. We forgoed the trip inasmuch as our Bangladesh driver was shortly picking up his ladies-in-waiting.

The trip to the airport was very uneventful. No peanut butter and jelly trucks had once again overturned. He did say that a milk truck was stuck on Cicero and that had caused quite a commotion among the cat population. But, since no milk had spilled, the cats departed to track down some rats. Police should have given them special passes to go after the rat that had infected those naive sisterhood of women.

Day of Reckoning

2009-09-25T10:15:00.000-07:00

Would you believe it? Barbara Streisand was the guest on the Oprah Show this week but not on our day. She is one of my favorite singers with her hits such as Evergreen,The Way We Were, Happy Days, Moon River, etc. Our children gave us the wonderful set of CD's "Just for the Record." and it still gives me immense pleasure listening to it on the porch as I toil away doing nothing.

Well anyway, the day at the Harpo Studio went like this. Got in line with the 315 other eager attendees. Evidently, most of them got the message. Didn't see one fashionable beige or white outfit, people had downsized their purses, except for the men, and everyone had on comfortable shoes, including the men. Gradually they let 50 people in at a time, we passed thru a metal detector, and surrendered our cell phones and cameras which they put in a large plastic bag with a number. We in turn were also given this same number which in our case was 330. They overlooked ML's cell phone, so as we waited we called the President and told him we were there and ask if there was any message he wanted us to pass on to Oprah. Unfortunately the envelope with my boarding pass was also confiscated. I guess they thought I was going to make a fast getaway if I got caught smuggling in my lunch.

Next, we went up to a small station where two lovely young women were standing. In my eyes anyone under 55 is young. We had to show them some proof of being such as birth certificate, passport, or driver's license. In other words anything to show that we were legitimate. After all these years, why would I make up stories. The next voice I heard was my "angel," She said, "R," so glad you could make the show." Would you believe she recognized me, or do you think it was my unusual name. I was given another sheet with the number B113. Got me to thinking. Perhaps somehow or another I should work these "3's" into my lottery "pick 3" choices next week.

Ushered into another area. Had to go up three flights of steps. Sweated so profusely had to take a shower and change clothes. Didn't look like a holding cell that could contain 315 people comfortably. Fortunately, there were chairs upon which we could rest our weary buts and there we sat, and sat, and sat. Gave us a chance to get to know the people sitting next to us if we didn't already know the people next to us. ML and I had to request information to attend to our bodily needs which required walking down these same three flights of steps - not to difficult for me, but ML has a bum knee which makes anything difficult. Successfully executed the three flights of steps, but dreaded the thought of the return trip. Wasn't necessary because they found a seat for us downstairs, although we couldn't use the bathroom because the line went all the way to Midway. But, they fed us each 3 peanut butter crackers. See that number Three and Peanut keeps popping up like a bad penny.