I figure the website just hasn’t been updated, but then I check to see where the flight is coming from. It turns out it’s coming from Dulles, and it took off on time at—wait for it—10:10 a.m. That’s right, a flight from the East Coast—where I am—scheduled to leave at exactly the same time as my Miami flight bound for an airport with a ground hold due to thunderstorms was not subject to the ground hold, will land on time, and then leave on its next leg on time.

But wait…weren’t we told there was a ground hold for all air traffic bound for DFW?

This just smells bad.

As it turns out, the earliest flight out of DFW that isn’t completely booked is as 7:30 p.m., so I got off the plane and got myself onto a 3:30 p.m. nonstop from Miami to SFO, leaving me plenty of time to sit and write this post about the inconsistent information American Airlines tells its passengers as though there’s no way those passengers can investigate and find out just how inconsistent it is.

As an aside, I’d love to meet the genius who decided Chicago was a good place for a major hub airport. Indianapolis is closer to the center of the country and has far fewer weather problems. I’d pay real money to talk for just five minutes to whoever made that call.

But I digress.

I’m connecting to a flight to Kansas City that was scheduled to depart at 8:45 p.m. and showing on-time when we left Reagan. We arrived short of the gate at 8:25 and waited for a ground crew to guide us in. They finally arrived, then we waited for a gate agent to move the jetway into position.

As I deplaned (how company nobody ever debuses or deboats?), I asked the gate agent if it was possible to call the gate for the Kansas City flight to let them know I was on my way. I have Platinum status with American and I’m delivering a keynote talk at 8 a.m. tomorrow (Thursday) morning; this flight is the only way I can get there short of taking a flight into St. Louis and driving to Kansas City from there. (I can’t tell you how many times one of my flights has sat at the gate because, according to the pilot or flight attendant, we’re waiting for a connecting passenger. Yet never, not once, has a plane waited for me.)

The gate agent told me she had to stay on the jetway and the jetway phone only connected her to other G gates. After some prodding, she finally tried to call another G gate so they could contact the agent at the Kansas City gate here in the K terminal.

But nobody answered. Finally, a fellow passenger waiting in the jetway for her carry-on bag, asked if I had the flight number. It told her what it was and she punched it into her smartphone. (I would have done this myself except that I’d sapped my phone’s battery talking to Orbitz and American about alternate routes to Kansas City while sitting on the tarmac in D.C.) In less than a minute, she said, “You’re going to Kansas City? That flight is delayed until 10:40.”

I have never been happier to be on a delayed flight.

But it’s mind-boggling that a passenger with a mobile phone has access to more information than an American Airlines gate agent.

Something is seriously wrong here.

Glen Thomas, from Memphis Light, Gas, and Water, attended a workshop I taught in New York a few weeks back. He shared this tale by email and gave me permission to post it here.—Shel

I had reservations for Super Shuttle to pick me up. My flight had been delayed getting into La Guardia and I got in three hours later than expected. I called Super Shuttle at 9:30 and they said it would be about 25 minutes. About 35 minutes later, a Super Shuttle employee came in and said “Thomas” and moments later I was on my way. A few others were in the shuttle as well, so I didn’t think anything of it when the driver pulled up to an address in the 84th or 85th street. He then looked at me and said, “Thomas, Talia Thomas?” I told him no and proceeded to tell him at least four times that I was staying on 45th street. He called dispatch and gave them my name and they said they had no record of me. When I produced my confirmation number, they suddenly found my name but said I hadn’t called that night. They didn’t have much to say when I told them the dispatching employee’s name. At 11:30, two hours after I called, I finally got to my hotel, Club Quarters in Midtown.

The Club Quarters price is very good for a location that’s so close to Times Square. That’s all the positive comments I can provide. When I got there, the wi-fi that they advertised was not working. I
called the desk and was advised to “go out into the hall” to try it. I took this advice, and it still didn’t work. Over the course of the next five days, I asked the hotel staff six different times about
the internet access. Each time, they promised to check into it and get back to me. They never did. Luckily, our conference was at the Hilton, and I was able to take my laptop there and quickly get
online.

We requested that the hotel schedule a cab pickup for us the day of our departure. They instead called a pricier car service. We were 10 minutes late getting back, which was completely our fault, but then we waited for another 20 minutes for our luggage to be brought down. When we asked about the length of time it was taking, the indifferent concierge said, “It takes 15 minutes!”

When the employee kept coming down with partial or incorrect luggage, I asked if I could go up to help him identify our bags. They agreed and sent me to…get this…our room! That’s where they were keeping the luggage. Instead of 15 minutes, it was a short walk up the stars on the 2nd floor. The car service tacked on $25 for their wait, and the total cost was $75 to get to La Guardia. With little time to spare, we felt that we no choice but to pay the cost in order to make our flights. Terrible, terrible service.

Every now and then, a client books my hotel room for me, and occasionally, one of them actually pays for the room. Such was the case tonight, when I checked into the Westin Providence. I was surprised, though, when I handed the desk clerk my Starwood Preferred card and was told that I would not be credited with any points because somebody else was paying for the room.

I’ve been a business road warrior for nigh on 12 years, and this is the first time I have ever had my affinity card rejected because the client was picking up the tab. Of course, there would have been no question about getting points if my stay was going on my corporate American Express card. Never mind that I’d turn around and invoice my client that cost.

Frankly, I didn’t know until I got here that my client had already picked up the hotel tab. If the fact that I’m spending the night here—me, a member of the rewards program—isn’t enough to credit me with the points (my client isn’t going to get them after all), then I’ll make a point of staying in other hotels that don’t have such absurd policies. That would include—let me see now—all of them except Westin. Way to lose a customer, Starwood.

The service is apparently provided by Nomadix. I can tell because a small browser window that remains open all the time I’m online tells me so:

This graphic refreshes every couple of minutes with a very audible “click.” If the laptop volume is on, this click becomes part of what you’re listening to. Since I’m about to record my podcast over Skype with my co-host, that click will become part of the show.

Was nobody using their brains when configuring this service?

My wife and I landed on time (thanks, Southwest) and got our baggage. Then I headed over to the Alamo Rental Car desk; I’d booked an online reservation with Alamo. The line was 10 people long and not moving. There was not one other person at any of the other rental counters. Only one employee was working the Alamo desk and, as it turned out, was also handling the National desk. Everyone in line, as far as I could tell, had made a reservation that included information on when their flights were landing. Alamo knew there would be a surge of customers at that time, yet made no plans for additional personnel to handle the load. I stood in line for 30 minutes—during which two customers completed their transactions—before deciding to pay an extra $100 for our four-day trip and got a car from Budget.

Question for Alamo: Have you ever heard of this concept called “customer service?”

This time around, the meeting was in Atlanta. It was a lock, a set date. I even coordinated a presentation with another participant. Then, last minute—that being today, with the meeting on Friday—the meeting was postponed. Too many people canceled due to illness or work or personal emergencies.

Rescheduling my flight was one nightmare, costing me about $500 in change fees and fare differences, but that was offset by the unused portion of my original itinerary being put in a bank for my use any time during the next year. With my schedule, I’ll probably use it within the next week. The real killer was the hotel. I booked with the Hilton Suites Atlanta Perimeter. Since I’m using my own money, no reimbursement, I opted for the special non-refundable web rate, pre-charged to my credit card. I called to cancel and found there was no accommodation at all. No putting the money in a bank for another night. No points to my Hilton Honors account (I’m a Silver HHonors VIP, whatever the hell that’s good for), no nothing.

I’m not blaming Hilton, mind you. It was clear when I booked it that it was non-refundable. But I will never, ever, avail myself of that option again. This meeting was a sure thing and yet it isn’t happening, and I’m out $250.80, just because I wanted to save $20 or $30 over a refundable rate. I’d rather pay the higher rate and be able to cancel than risk losing it all. My advice: Stay away from these offers. Under the circumstances, I have to question why the hotels even offer them.

I arrived at O’Hare from SFO and was pleased to find out that the gate for my connecting flight was very close. The gate was announced by the purser. I checked it again with the gate agent. And it was on the departure video screen. So I planted myself at the departure gate, powered up my laptop, and started answering email.

A plane arrived, but boarding didn’t start. The boarding time came and went. I finally went to the desk…and found another flight listed there. I rushed to the video monitor to find my flight had moved to another terminal...and it was already boarding. I ran to the gate and asked if an announcement had been made at the original gate. The gate agent shrugged. The person behind me, panting, said she had been at the other gate, too, and no announcement had been made. Again, the gate agent shrugged.

If other companies treated their customers the way the airlines do, they’d be out of business.