I met Vonda years ago at a Christian leaders conference, and I’ve invited her to join us today. She is the keynote for Capture Me!, the 2009 iGETitLIFE Women’s Event, and the author of Seeing Through the Lies and the Bitsy series for children. She’s the mom of two and MaMa to a crew. Vonda lives with her husband, Gary, in South Carolina. You’ll fall in love with her feisty yet gentle Southern ways as she shares where she’s going and how she’s getting there. Join me as I glean tips for leading and living my life. Let’s get started and don’t forget to ask your questions or leave comments.

Robin: Vonda, what would you say is your mission, your purpose? Why do you do what you do?

Vonda: I know this sounds silly to some, but I do what I do because I can’t NOT do it. I’ve always loved writing, loved the stage, loved the creative process, but for most of my life I considered all that stuff just selfish self-indulgences. And even though I’d never done any of these creative things professionally, I found they always seeped into my life. They just appeared in my nursing school projects, neighborhood children’s parties, birthday party entertainments, children’s SS classes, children’s church or Bible School programs, and Christian Women’s Club leadership roles. I didn’t set out to be creative in these areas, it just crept its way in time after time. I’d be working on something and POOF! there it was—a skit, a song, a costume, a monologue. They wouldn’t leave me alone!

The day God revealed to me that He could take all those passions and interests and use them to bring Himself glory was an exciting day! For the first time in my life, I felt I was doing what I was created to do! So, to get back to your question, I do what I do to bring glory to God.

The look of a leader worth following!!

Robin: That’s awesome. I read a great book, The Dream Giver, about living and serving in the passions and interests that God places in us. Our life’s work becomes an act of worship. When you write or speak, how do you sense God’s pleasure?

Vonda: The best way I can describe it is that it feels like climbing up into a big ol’ cushy recliner, snuggling up to my Father, and hearing His heartbeat. I remember so vividly doing that with my daddy…and all would be right with the world. I love sharing His love, His grace and mercy, His forgiveness. I love that He can take my messes and use them for His glory. I love that no hurts are wasted in God’s economy.

Robin: That’s a comfy feeling, but doesn’t these same acts of worship become a chore at times? A drudgery? How does that happen?

Vonda: Oh, I know the answer to that one! It’s when I get too busy doing all the “stuff” of the ministry. You know, the bookkeeping, the letters, the contracts, the paperwork. It’s when I get away from my calling and have to work outside my area of passion and gifting. But it has to be done. I keep reminding myself that I’m sure Jesus didn’t enjoy everything He had to do to bring His message to the people.

Robin: Ouch. I guess you’re right. Jesus probably didn’t enjoy the cross. Since some things about your mission are enjoyable and others aren’t, how do you decide what you should do?

Vonda: That’s just it—there are too many things that I love to do, that I feel called to do. I love teaching God’s Word, love sharing stories of God’s grace and forgiveness, love sharing my mistakes in hopes that someone else can avoid them, love watching kids’ eyes light up when they realize they can write, love giving women the opportunity to laugh at my mess-ups of life, love letting women know that none of us has it all together but that we’re all struggling to live up to His calling and be who He created us to be.

Some say, “Just make a mission statement and don’t do anything that doesn’t fit that statement.” Great concept but doesn’t work in reality for me. Whether I’m speaking to a group of women or a group of writers or a group of kids, for me, it’s all ministry and it’s all good.

Robin: Sounds like your mission statement would have to include lots of inspiration and encouragement for others. What helps you determine you’re headed in the right direction and making progress? How do you evaluate your success?

Vonda: I don’t know that success is the word I would use because that has such a negative connotation in today’s society. Today’s success is measured by the paycheck, the notoriety, the name recognition. By those standards, few of us ever qualify. But when I look at what I know God has called ME to do—minister to women, writers, and children, I feel His nod of approval through the confirmation of those I speak to. I mean, how can I feel that I’m not on the right track when a precious sister comes to me and says, “Your message changed my life”?

Listen—it’s not me, it’s not my good works or anything I’ve done to reach any definition of success, it’s only through the story of His power, the demonstration of His love, that anyone can be changed. I feel like the woman at the well who went back to her town and said, “Let me tell you about a man who told me everything I ever did!” The Bible tells us many in her town were saved. Was it because of her? No. Was it because she was a great orator who knew the techniques of persuasion? No. Was it because she was successful by their standards? No. It was because of the message. His message. His grace. His love.

Robin: That’s a powerful picture. A struggling woman used to share God’s message. I’m curious. When setbacks come, and they always do, how do you deal with them? How do you get back on track?

Vonda: I just stay busy. I find if I have lots of different projects going on, I’m not so focused on the “success” of one particular one. So when I have a project that I just know is going to be the next Christy Award winning book, or the next Oscar winning movie, and instead it ends up in the rejection pile, I can whine to my close friends (who love me in spite of the whining) and then move on to the next project. But then there are those times…you know what I mean…those times when you get up and fall down and get up and fall down…and nothing seems to be working…and people won’t leave you alone so you can do what you know you’re supposed to be doing…when you feel pulled in a hundred directions and you think you can’t take another…uh…um…what was the question?

Robin: Hmm, I guess you might get a little frustrated when things don’t go your way, but you always return to your mission of inspiring and encouraging others. A mark of a good leader is not giving up when the road gets rough. Besides being remembered for faithfulness to your mission, is there anything else you would like to say?

Vonda: Oh, how I want to pen words that will make a difference for eternity! I want heaven to be different because of my obedience to His calling. The money truly isn’t the focus. (Although I wouldn’t be OPPOSED to making gobs of money if God decided to send it my way! I mean, just imagine all the good I could do with a gazillion dollars! Wouldn’t that be AWESOME?!?!?) But I sincerely want to be remembered as someone who wrote the truth, shared the truth, believed the truth, and lived the truth. If I made a lot of money and achieved the world’s standard of success, but didn’t portray the Truth on the pages of my life, my life would have been nothing but a lie. And that, dear friends, would be true failure.

Robin: And we don’t want to be failures. Do we? Thanks Vonda. Can’t wait to be with you in September at Capture ME!, the iGETitLIFE Event.

Check out Vonda’s book, Seeing Through the Lies: Unmasking the Myths Women Believe, to find out how to live in the Truth.

Make a comment. What is your individual calling or sweet spot? How do you handle obstacles? What standard evaluates your success?

Related leadership posts: Stepping into Success, Successful Life and Leadership, 5 Tips to Lead a Successful Life

*picture from www.getentrepreneurial.com

I often feel that I don’t have the skill to get things done in the right way. But at other times I’ve felt, “I got this” and flubbed miserably.

Does having or lacking skill really determine success? Sure, a lot of factors must weigh in to bring about great achievement. If skill alone is what we work for to make ourselves successful, we may be working ourselves right out of our desired accomplishment.

It’s a little oxymoronish to consider that too much skill could spell failure. Yet real success doesn’t lie in our skill or our resources. Certain goals and levels of triumph can be obtained by shear force. But to accomplish that which is outlandishly impossible, to achieve a dream that hangs on a thread requires more than determination. Lasting success requires faith.

At least that’s what I read in 1 Chronicles 5:18 and following. The Jewish tribes had skill. “They were skilled in combat and armed” to the hilt, no less. These guys were seasoned, experts in warfare, and ready for battle.

If I had all that going for me, I’d be taking them on, pushing forward, and relying on my own abilities. Why, isn’t that what God gave me the skill for? Aren’t we to use these skills to make what we aim for successful? My self-reliant attitude and the subsequent actions would set me up for failure, or at best provide a very short-lived success.

The next phrase in the Chronicles passage about the Israelites isn’t, “So they kicked tail and took names.” No. They had skill and resources all right, but their greatest asset was God himself. Listen to what they did. “They cried out to God during the battle, and he answered their prayer because they trusted in him.”

They were skilled, fit, ready, and from all aspects had it all together to get the job done, but they didn’t rely on all of that. They won the victory because of their faith, because they trusted in God! Their skill was put to use but it wasn’t the determining factor.

The implication of this truth for our lives is huge. We work so hard to try to be good, better, or best so we’ll have success. But it doesn’t matter if our skill is little or a lot, or if our resources are overflowing or not. What makes the difference is our level of “trust in God.” It’s the extent of our belief in God that plays the greatest role in our success.

Whew. That takes a heavy weight off my shoulders. I stress over my lack, both in my skills and in my resources. Although I’ll never have to worry about being over skilled and need to continue honing my abilities and developing my resources, I must keep all of that effort in perspective. My skill may be used, but it’s not the major determiner of my failure or success. I need to put the largest effort in learning to trust in God.

God loves to work on behalf of those who completely trust in him. Built within that trust is obedience. Even when the task seems irrational or unlikely to be successful, I must obey and trust. On a side note, I love the freedom to succeed or fail that I get when I trust God and do what he asks. The results are all his. Success is measured in faith not skill.

Check out how to be successful at Successful Life and Leadership and Stepping into Success.

* picture from personalbrandingblog.com

Too much to do. Too much strain in my faith (that God would use me). My turn to whine.

Girlfriend calls. Wants me to fix lasagna for the fellowship tomorrow night. I want to stay home in pj’s.

Writing? How can I do that when I need to call every women’s ministry contact in God’s creation on behalf of Capture ME! ~ iGETitLIFE 2009 Women’s Event. At least I’m not laid up in the hospital with a spinal leak like the iGETitLIFE coordinator. She just had a baby and the epidural caused spinal fluid leakage (pray for Jamie). And I want to whine!

(sigh)
Look. It’s like this. I obey God and still I have troubles. 

(picture from gizmodo.com)

I’m trying to not be despondent. I know God’s in control. I’m doing what he asked, but I just don’t see his hand at this time. My faith doesn’t require sight, but my sense of security sure likes it.

"If you will…firmly exhibit your faith at the precise moment, you can sometimes actually snatch victory from the very jaws of defeat… lifting your heart to God in a moment of genuine faith in Him can quickly alter your circumstances…He can turn defeat into victory in a split second, if we will only trust Him." ~Streams in the Desert

Going to cleanse my contacts for Firmer Faith and Clearer Vision.

My husband suggested creating “Rules of Engagement.” Obviously, since twitter is social, the opportunity to a small accountability group is available.

But before I make suggestions for “Rules of Engagement,” I want to describe how I could see twitter working for a small group.

I have a small group that can be mimicked.  My group is my family. My husband and two older children twitter along together. We set our “devices” to “on” so we can see what each other are doing when we post.

My husband may tweet something about being frustrated at work, or how he had an awesome lunch meeting with someone. My kids may tweet “About to take a hard test,” or “Not feeling so hot today.” One may say something funny. One may ask via direct message (dm) for a deep prayer concern.

We laugh making no response. We pray for something mentioned. We respond with encouragement. We direct message our love, concern, and jokes directly into their circumstances in real time. (On a side note, my honey and I send “love” tweets too. Maybe I should write an article on how twitter can help your marriage.)

“Devices” are our cell phones that receive text messages. Twitter sends their tweets to our phones as a text message and we can respond via text messages in three manners.

1. A straight forward response goes to any and all who look at your twitter page on the internet and not directly to the one you want to respond to. Okay, but has the opportunity to be confusing to others not following along in the conversation.
2. Using @twittername (placing the name of the twitterer you want to respond to after the @ symbol) sends it to your twitter page for all to see as well as a community notice of saying it to your intended person.
3. Using d twittername sends a personal message directly to your intended person without posting your message to the social network. (A glitch may accidentally happen in twitterdom. I don’t advise getting too personal here. It may be a way to say, “Hey, call me at ###-####,” or “I got your back on this one.”)

There are more advanced methods such as creating groups and using hashtags (#), but the simple texting method keeps our family digitally connected and involved in one another’s life. I believe if your group creates “Rules for Engagement” and commits to increased digital accountability, twitter will greatly enhance your group.

(Twitter just hit Time Magazine’s front cover. Twitter is changing our culture. I really think the church ought to be involved and engaged in such awesome conversations.)

Twitter “Rules for Engagement” for group accountability and encouragement.

1. Meet face to face regularly – Keep your regular meeting times. Smiles, handshakes, and the necessary “three pat” hugs shouts concern to a much greater degree than the digital connection. Twitter cannot replace this! (Incidentally, I applaud each and every man willing to invest in another man’s life in small accountability groups. My husband has been in and started several over the years.)
2. Keep the most personal discussion personal in the face-to-face meetings. Never know when you might slip and forget to “dm” that detail resulting in shouting something meant “secret” to all internet eyes. And Twitter may accidentally put a “dm” in the main stream for everybody to see.
3. Commit to be involved in one another’s life making an effort to be an encouragement. Don’t make all the tweets self-centered. Send out encouraging quotes, Bible verses, and tidbits of learning you’ve received from your life struggles, as well as the what’s-going-on-with-you kind of tweets. If you’ve read an interesting article online, send a link using the link shortening tool in TweetDeck along with a short description of the article for your group to read. (TweetDeck.com and other applications are free downloads for your computer to make Twitter even more functional.

 I welcome more input, especially from men who twitter and are a part of a small accountability group. Please respond for the edification of all.

Do we synchronize our faith? Do we plug our God into the USB port of our need or personal world and blend it until nothing is true, definable, or authentic? Could we be guilty of religious syncing with wrong stuff?

Us? We’re believers, right. Worshippers of God. We couldn’t be guilty, could we?

Do we worship the institution called church? Do we give our everything to our children, spouse, or family? Do we worship our selfish interests, or “this is the way I am” and “this is the way I do things.” Could we be guilty of setting our desires and longing on stuff, yet blend all this worship with a religious nod toward God?

Do we synchronize our faith in the One True God with all these culturally acceptable behaviors?

I’m guilty.

The last part of chapter 17 in 2 Kings describes how groups from various nations were settled in Israel bringing their culture with them, blending worship of God into their life’s mix. “And though they worshipped the Lord, they continued to follow their own gods according to the religious customs of the nations from which they came” (2 Kgs. 17:33).

The people practiced a spiritual acknowledgement of God without a commitment or change in their life. How can we not be guilty of the same thing? How can we be totally given to God? Without mixture? How can we be a true, definable, and authentic Christ follower?

What insights can you share from your journey?
 

My life whizzes by in increments that seem like decades instead of minutes. Moments slip right by without even a nod. I’m too busy, preoccupied, or focused to relax and live in the moment. And I hate it. I don’t like how I’ve become. Are you like me, missing life’s little joys, or do you have a sure fire way to enjoy your moments?

This Memorial Day, it was all I could do to simply sit and enjoy the sun, family, and rest. My mind ran through all the stuff needing to be done. Writing projects. Speaking preparation. And event planning. The pace threatened to consume my moments relaxing with family. Guilt ridden, I managed to keep away from the computer and work, but when I relaxed I was horribly sleepy.

I needed a “debriefing” after the previous two week run. Each day piled more stuff on the list, and left no time to accomplish anything I spent five days at the Colorado Christian Writer’s Conference and came home with lots of requests and new friends needing follow up.

During a brief unload, wash, and reload of my suitcase, I watched my super-organized daughter destroy all that was sacred about my office space as she “moved my cheese” to another room.

I tried to be organized with the hotel information in Dallas/Ft. Worth where I was headed, but I couldn’t find the name, address, or metro area of the hotel in which I was supposed to sleep. (Many thanks to Twitter friends and husband’s work associates who helped me find my way.)

On the road again to Thelma Wells and the Ready to Win Conference, I spent three days with my dear friend Lou. We met more friends, experienced great worship, and yes, more stuff piled on. I can’t even see the top of the to do list any more.

When I got home, I put my suitcase into another car along my family’s luggage and off we went for Memorial Day at the lake with my mom and brother’s family. One would think I would want to relax, enjoy the moments with my little nephew and other family members. And I did, but I couldn’t turn my mind’s switch off and never fully engaged the moment.

Did I tell you I hate feeling this way?

Now, I’m back at home in my new space that still has my “old cheese smell” with stuff piled high on this to do list. I want to throw the list away and start over. Can I ignore all that stuff on the calendar, the sticky notes, the promises to deliver, and e-mail alarms?

What’s this? A jury summons! (sigh) Maybe they’ll arrest me for contempt of court or whatever for not showing up. Then I can rest.

What helps you relax and enjoy the moments of life? How do you deal with life’s stuff that piles up stealing from you that little something precious?

Oh, by the way, I was instructed to “Relax. Enjoy the moment” in the Colorado Rockies when this two week run started. A shoot ‘em straight kind of girl shared pointedly that I needed to live in the moments, enjoy the mountains. She’s a truth-filled friend, Suzie Eller. You might want to look her up. 

Suzie’s counsel was profound, but I’m still trying to figure out the how. I need all the help I can get. Please send me your tips.

Climbing the ladder to glimpse the top of stuff to do. . .Back to sorting the priorities and work . . .

If you got a moment (yeah, I know), please pray for me to live in my moments.

May the blessings of moments be alive and real for us all.

In business, I’ve tweeted quotes of conference speakers. And, when attendance wasn’t an option, I’ve watched tweets of twitterers at the conference. Their twittering created a feeling of connection with the event and gave the most impressive information almost like I was there. I’ve also taken conference notes on my iPhone and scheduled noted events in my calendar all while listening to the speaker. I’ve seen speakers reading scripture from their Blackberry and following their presentation notes from the same. Mobile devices aren’t just phones to those who utilize their great functionality. They’re cool tools!

Should these awesome devices be used during church? For a long time I’ve thought how Twitter can be used to create a community that is involved rather than spectating during church. Christ followers want to interact, make a difference, and worship. They don’t want to watch church. They want to engage. Those who use mobile devices and Twitter in their everyday life will naturally want to do so during church.

Twitterers heralded the prayer request for the shooting of Pastor Fred Winters of Maryville, IL that happened during a church service.  My husband and I received the real-time tweet and brought the request to the attention of our church meeting a thousand miles away. Real-time prayer needs. Should we twitter in church?

I wonder if the question of twittering in church could be rephrased, “Should church engage the culture?” When we send missionaries into a culture, they study it to learn effective ministry in it. We live in a post Christian culture that needs engagement for the purpose of sharing Jesus. My previous post with great video, Twittering Ministry, shows how today’s business world has changed and the implications for necessary change in ministry.

Once I had a friend jokingly tap me on the shoulder during the service and whisper, “Are you texting in church?” Me, a preacher’s wife, texting in church? I’ll admit to nothing. At that time I was only taking notes.

It seems taboo to utilize a different way of making notes than scribbling on a piece of paper. Wasn’t there a time when scribbling on paper was considered prep for passing notes in church? Now churches have fill in the blank outlines and other methods of engaging attendees with note taking. Why not the PDA? It won’t get lost or tossed as scrap.

Churches could teach their parishioners how to engage each other and their community during church with these not-so-new tools and alleviate the stigma of “not paying attention.” The fact is users may be even more engaged in worship and ministry than those sleeping or staring blankly at the wall behind the pastor. (Do you know how many ceiling tiles are in your church?)

Time magazine released an interesting article worth reading, “Twittering in Church with the Pastor’s O.K.” Certainly our world gets it, and some churches are getting on board as well. Check out a worship leader’s perspective “Using Twitter the Phone in Church.” by Chad.

 “What is Twitter?” some ask. It’s micro-blogging, or broadcast texting. You can say whatever to whoever wants to listen in 140 characters. You can use text messaging on phones, applications on PDA’s, and online computers to Tweet. For a better description of the what and how of Twitter, check out Michael Hyatt’s step-by-step posts or peruse Social Media Strategies and Tools Explained blog by Beth.

Oh, and tweet me, @RobinBryce. Let’s engage for the glory of Christ.

“False starts and weak foundations can be ruinous,” said Maxwell. We rehearse first impressions, opening statements, and initial handshakes because how we start is important. Here’s a summary of Maxwell’s five insights to a positive start.
 

1. Start with yourself. Practice. Prove to myself what I am made of through my commitments. As I successfully lead myself, others will follow my leadership and my success will be evident.
2. Start early. The longer I wait, the harder it is to change. Start early to develop good leadership qualities and disciplines to insure success physically, financially, spiritually, and all areas of life.
3. Start small. I can’t swallow the whole whale in one gulp. Take baby steps in the direction I know is right without intimidation of the big task or impossibilities of the vision. Starting small frees me to focus on the task at hand and leaves the whole whale cut into manageable bites.
4. Start with vision. My dream, passion, and life purpose fulfills me the most. Find a person who is successful in my field and learn from them, tailor my occupation to include what satisfies me. Pursuing my vision helps my success.
5. Start now. Do something today. Put together a long string of days doing some little something in the right direction. My success depends upon my discipline and follow through.

Now, where do we begin? Oh yeah, with myself. See you in success corner. Summarized from Maxwell’s post on the "Starting - The First Step Toward Success" on the Catalyst blog.  Hop on over there to read his article and get started toward success.  

On May 22-23, 2009, join Thelma Wells at her Ready To Win Conference in Garland, TX (Dallas area). It’s free! Register for your free tickets and get more information at ThelmaWells.com.

Thelma’s the real deal, an authentic Christ follower that’s been in the slump, at the bottom of the hump, and in need of rising up. She knows how to win in difficult situations. Come join in, if you’re Ready To Win. You’ll be blessed.

I’ll be there. Tweet me @RobinBryce, and we can have a Tweet-up for fun. if you’re unsure what Twitter is click Twittering Church? for links of explanation. Look forward to seeing you there.

I stood under the sun and puffy-clouded blue in my pj’s with a feed bucket handle in the crook of my arm, a pitchfork in one hand, and the latch to the chicken coop in the other. The dogs yapped in their usual way during the normal critter feeding on the ten-acre plot we rule. That’s when it happened.

The dumb dogs quieted. I heard the rattle of a diesel engine and looked up to see a big dually pickup stop at the end of the drive. A man jumped down out of the driver’s seat and began his approach.

Crud! I’m out here in my pajamas. What should I do? As I thought, I felt, “Remember . . .” I puffed up my feathers like I was bigger than life, stepped slightly aside the coop into full view, and then reached down into the best hick voice I could find.

“What can I do fer ya?” Figuring that if he felt I was part and parcel of this here domain, he’d know I knew how to fight for it and myself. I am Texas stock, you know.

He halted his advance, slightly lifted both hands palms out, and began his spiel.

As he began talking, I decided I would go down fighting to protect all that is. My pj’s became bulletproof armor and that pitchfork would have to be good enough for spurring roosters of all kinds.

The dogs were useless. The dumb things seemed to have their tongues ripped out. Like they’re going to protect anything. By the way, do any of you loyal blog readers, all three of you, want a registered German Shepherd wuss? Free. Really.

“Yes ma’am, I just dropped by to see if I could pump out your septic.”

As he finished his sentence, I thought he must be a local as well. He gave a respectful response including the term “ma’am.” It once was said, in that Dennis Quad baseball movie something about Texas women being strong. He must’ve clearly understood that truth from experience, the learning of a local.

In larger-than-truth style I hollered, “Naw!” And moved the pitchfork to the other hand, once again reaching for the coop latch. I kept my eye on both roosters, the one with feathers and the one climbing back into his truck.

No blood for the pitchfork, the armor melted into pj’s, and our ten-acre piece of God’s green earth was safe again.

On the breeze, I barely heard, “Remember . . .”

PS. I can speak hick when necessary, but I don’t write it very well. I hope you enjoyed this trivial/not-so-trivial confession of a preacher’s wife. I just had to write it down. Oh, if you want the dog, I’ll ship her, send her, bring her to you. Email Robin@RobinBryce.com.

Rooster picture from animalartstickers.com