tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13877217Wed, 11 Nov 2009 00:29:38 +0000What is it? A company? A kingdom? A gardening tool? Does it contain some kind of hidden, ancient, ninja power? The answer, friends, is none of the below.http://roboshrub.blogspot.com/noreply@blogger.com (Roboshrub Incorporated)Blogger305125Subscribe with My Yahoo!Subscribe with NewsGatorSubscribe with My AOLSubscribe with BloglinesSubscribe with NetvibesSubscribe with GoogleSubscribe with Pageflakestag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13877217.post-1756217265765046738Sat, 31 Oct 2009 00:02:00 +00002009-10-30T21:13:57.013-04:00GamesWeb DevelopmentFor the last few days, I’ve been playing around with the canvas element, teaching myself how to draw primitive shapes on the fly. As a result of this gut-wrenchingly worthwhile endeavor, I now have a pretty swell little demo up and running.Play Tracer<!--[if IE lte 8]Tracer doesn’t work in Internet Explorer 8 and older, because Internet Explorer doesn’t support canvas. You should really use http://roboshrub.blogspot.com/2009/10/plot-blot.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (Gyrobo)0<img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/Roboshrub/~4/zNn_eXY8yPw" height="1" width="1"/>tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13877217.post-2958826403724999542Wed, 30 Sep 2009 00:16:00 +00002009-09-29T20:20:50.270-04:00Roboshrub PressALBANY, NEW YORKThe sun was completely blocked out over the state capital yesterday, after thousands of trees took to the streets.Protests began almost immediately after the random chemical spill / government experiment gone horribly awry / alien intervention / magic that brought almost 350 acres of pristine forest to life last Thursday. Among the protesters’ demands are an http://roboshrub.blogspot.com/2009/09/rebellion-leaf-it-to-trees.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (Gyrobo)3<img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/Roboshrub/~4/QGhanj3bCiA" height="1" width="1"/>tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13877217.post-427876089344779197Tue, 01 Sep 2009 01:20:00 +00002009-08-31T21:23:01.455-04:00Product PlacementWeb Development“You can use any numbers to prove anything,” my first grade teacher told me over coffee. She gave all the first graders hot coffee every day before art. She hated the art teacher.She also hated being woken up at three in the morning by someone in another time zone.I can empathize with that, having recently needed to conduct several conversations with people all over the world. As an avid user of http://roboshrub.blogspot.com/2009/08/0-0-world-clock.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (Gyrobo)5<img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/Roboshrub/~4/umChrfaQd20" height="1" width="1"/>tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13877217.post-4563780816420311434Sun, 02 Aug 2009 00:55:00 +00002009-08-02T17:12:42.858-04:00Web DevelopmentOver a year ago, the Webkit project introduced a fantastic new kind of Internet technology — the ability to create color gradients via CSS. This solves an age-old deficiency in the language which confined web developers and designers to either solid colors or images.Today, that ability had taken root in the mighty rendering engine that powers Firefox.There are some major differences between the http://roboshrub.blogspot.com/2009/08/css-gradients-in-firefox.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (Gyrobo)2<img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/Roboshrub/~4/3B7LjSkP0Ak" height="1" width="1"/>tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13877217.post-740295161389556740Mon, 27 Jul 2009 04:22:00 +00002009-11-10T19:29:38.773-05:00Four years ago, a horrible rip was found in time. I know because I was there — cowering like a simpering child.My name is Karl Überdale. I’m a sorcerer.Whatever you’ve heard, I’m not a crackpot; nor am I a smuggler, though I WAS during sand prohibition. How can I defend myself? I was young. Sand was everywhere. I ran with the wrong crowd.Don’t get me sidetracked… I was talking about time. Four http://roboshrub.blogspot.com/2009/07/cracks.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (Karl the Sorcerer)48<img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/Roboshrub/~4/JehmCMCyGJo" height="1" width="1"/>tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13877217.post-3931398016619305457Mon, 22 Jun 2009 23:45:00 +00002009-06-25T21:40:30.981-04:00BlogiversaryRoboshrub Inc. opened its doors four years ago today, to much acclaim and expectation.At its height, Roboshrub Incorporated employed more people than General Motors and was responsible for roughly 6% of America’s GDP (during peak years).Whole towns sprung up around our franchises, with generations of dregs bred specifically to sample our eclectic wares. Our stock price doubled every four months http://roboshrub.blogspot.com/2009/06/four-or-more-years.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (Gyrobo)6<img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/Roboshrub/~4/bAQfKbEZ7L4" height="1" width="1"/>tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13877217.post-3857311570557486502Tue, 16 Jun 2009 20:16:00 +00002009-06-16T16:34:04.012-04:00PoetryThe lights are bright and hotter than my face;My makeup is cracked and starting to peel;The red rubber noses and wigs badly chafe;And these size thirty-sixes bite at my heel.No more will I shovel elephant dungOr merrily dust out the lions’ barred cagesOr attend the acrobats’ highest rungOr suffer the sword-thrower’s silver rages.I dream of an office, a suit and tie,An apartment with exorbitant http://roboshrub.blogspot.com/2009/06/fathers-day.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (Gyrobo)3<img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/Roboshrub/~4/nzP7-7ChE-w" height="1" width="1"/>tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13877217.post-5724261238136310346Tue, 09 Jun 2009 02:20:00 +00002009-06-08T23:04:36.512-04:00New YorkPeanutsEd HelmsCrackpot SchemesHandfeetCoup SuitIMThis conversation was recorded in real time and accurately reflects the overall viewpoints and reactions of the citizenry of New York during the dangerous and unexpected coup d'état of our state government (which is not yours) in the month of our lord June 2009.Background: Albany (our state capital) is in an uproar, as we are about to learn in REAL UNFOLDING REALITY. Meanwhile, two disinterested http://roboshrub.blogspot.com/2009/06/history-just-kind-of-happened-today.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (Gyrobo)2<img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/Roboshrub/~4/Pckife82e14" height="1" width="1"/>tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13877217.post-2841652172774344500Sat, 23 May 2009 03:22:00 +00002009-08-02T13:10:11.092-04:00Web DevelopmentBy default, Blogger’s comment form allows you to enter plain text, with a scant few HTML tags to help format your text. What is this, 2007? In this day and age, I expect to find a rich text field complete with toolbar and modal dialogs. In fact, on Google’s Product Ideas forum, one popular request regarding comments was essentially this.It should be incredibly easy for those propeller-headed http://roboshrub.blogspot.com/2009/05/no-comment.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (Gyrobo)6<img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/Roboshrub/~4/1v2DigVgXVQ" height="1" width="1"/>tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13877217.post-3110732568900283599Sat, 25 Apr 2009 02:43:00 +00002009-08-02T00:05:15.932-04:00EspionageAstroturfWhat do you get when you combine blind ambition with a grand design?TIME’S UP! Have no fear, I don’t fault you for not knowing; I barely know, myself. And yet that very question needled at me this last month, driving me further and further away from you, my loyal readers.Instead of scriving new and potentially hilarious blog posts on a wide range of topics, I’ve spent this last semester on a http://roboshrub.blogspot.com/2009/04/bland-ambition.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (Gyrobo)2<img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/Roboshrub/~4/saO5TaH6Op8" height="1" width="1"/>tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13877217.post-237125045535213676Tue, 24 Mar 2009 01:28:00 +00002009-03-23T21:39:19.861-04:00CrimePersonal EffectsThis is only a simulation of my new hat.Ah, I see you’re admiring my new hat. Yes, it’s quite a fine hat. Where did I get it, you ask?It was naught but a week ago. Scotland Yard had just dredged another body up from the bog; fifth one this month. A brash young detective (who’d witnessed me solving a string of murders in Zaragoza the year prior) recommended I be brought in.So they flew me out, http://roboshrub.blogspot.com/2009/03/hathunting.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (Gyrobo)3<img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/Roboshrub/~4/ONmYgSjCbac" height="1" width="1"/>tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13877217.post-1684564864417416163Tue, 17 Mar 2009 03:38:00 +00002009-03-17T00:09:24.905-04:00New YorkY2KSafetyParty Like It's 1999Duck and CoverNew York State’sCitizen’s BrochureY2K and YOUGeorge E. Pataki,GovernorJames G. Natoli, DirectorOffice of State OperationsYear 2000 Readiness Disclosure***New York State has been hard at work on the Year 2000 (Y2K) issue for more than three years. I established the Y2K Project in April 1996 to coordinate the State and local efforts and identified Y2K as the State’s “number one technology priority.http://roboshrub.blogspot.com/2009/03/year-2000.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (Gyrobo)2<img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/Roboshrub/~4/NOdDVFoALXc" height="1" width="1"/>tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13877217.post-4876565825166781379Tue, 24 Feb 2009 02:10:00 +00002009-02-23T21:14:56.978-05:00ElectronicsReligionPsychoGod wants you to buy a bigger television.—The Book of GenesisThis is basically how the bible starts. Some may criticize me for paraphrasing and simplifying, but it’s 100% true; at least for the Abrahamic faiths, which include Judaism, Christianity and Islam.Did you ever wonder why movies and television stations and high definition DVDs use a 16:9 aspect ratio? What? You’ve never heard of aspect http://roboshrub.blogspot.com/2009/02/god-loves-widescreen.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (Gyrobo)5<img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/Roboshrub/~4/XJpXE735XUs" height="1" width="1"/>tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13877217.post-3674324352899890020Thu, 08 Jan 2009 20:56:00 +00002009-01-08T15:56:42.140-05:00The CIA gets a bad rap in the public eye, and is often targeted as central to Illuminati conspiracy theories. It's time their name was cleared.The CIA is not some omnipresent psychic secret police force that takes orders from an orbiting supercomputer. Not by a long shot. In fact, the CIA is just a secure governmental agency for civilian intelligence. They are largely statisticians, http://roboshrub.blogspot.com/2009/01/cia-rpg-tba-mvp.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (Professor Huxley)6<img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/Roboshrub/~4/e1svVeMtPm4" height="1" width="1"/>tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13877217.post-1047659959142424720Wed, 24 Dec 2008 03:13:00 +00002008-12-26T15:37:17.546-05:00Poetry’Twas snowing that night, as I sat on my porch.One could see not the stars, as clouds clogged the sky —Though the stars were alight, I could see to the north —Down by the horizon, those suns harried forth —But the surly, burly clouds would not be denied.“Faster, thicker, colder, quicker,” the happy snowclouds sang.As if by ritual, my trees reached to cloak their bark —“Light or heavy, we shall http://roboshrub.blogspot.com/2008/12/snowcloud-symphony.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (Gyrobo)9<img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/Roboshrub/~4/f0r5h9sPxAE" height="1" width="1"/>tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13877217.post-1427142400515343637Tue, 09 Dec 2008 23:05:00 +00002008-12-09T18:06:10.495-05:00I have to warn all you guys about an awful device that has cropped up more and more frequently in my life over recent years.It's those fuzzy toilet lid covers.They are awful.Toilets are delicately balanced so that both the lid and the seat may both be flipped to an upright position. The reason is so that I don't pee all over the toilet seat.HOWEVER, many people, for whatever reason, find these http://roboshrub.blogspot.com/2008/12/critical-flaw.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (Professor Huxley)10<img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/Roboshrub/~4/mCjuTcwLXXs" height="1" width="1"/>tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13877217.post-2214608307115865079Sat, 15 Nov 2008 17:45:00 +00002008-12-04T23:47:40.951-05:00Yup, I wrote a new widget you can put into your web sites. I meant to write something longer, sooner, but… no.Code:<iframe src="http://databathing.com/inauguration_day/" style="border:0;height:232px;width:240px;"></iframe>(Put it somewhere after <div id="sidebar">)Result:http://roboshrub.blogspot.com/2008/11/inauguration-day-countdown.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (Gyrobo)10<img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/Roboshrub/~4/j8qN_mgPdOQ" height="1" width="1"/>tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13877217.post-810789319965533786Fri, 24 Oct 2008 04:55:00 +00002008-10-24T01:14:02.226-04:00By Brad Beaumont of the Bottleton BugleAmerica is at a crossroads: the highest political office in the nation is about to see the shattering of either the age or race barrier. While a smattering of factors can still swing this historic election, one man in particular has proven, time and again, to have the fantastic foresight to correctly predict (with the exception of Al Gore in 2000) the http://roboshrub.blogspot.com/2008/10/why-tintarellos-endorsement-matters.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (Gyrobo)6<img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/Roboshrub/~4/dQvKKV7zIXQ" height="1" width="1"/>tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13877217.post-4765054434678035366Wed, 01 Oct 2008 01:26:00 +00002008-09-30T22:29:04.522-04:00Notice how the title ends with an exclamation mark. That was intentional, to convey importance.Lately, my free time has been spent between two time-consuming activities. The first is hiking along the rail trail which is a hop, skip and jump from my house:I probably won’t be doing any more hiking, though. The rail trail has lately become the haunt of bank robbers, people who don’t clean up after http://roboshrub.blogspot.com/2008/09/gallant-previews-of-coming-attractions.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (Gyrobo)6<img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/Roboshrub/~4/YAaV1lhIyfA" height="1" width="1"/>tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13877217.post-7579289738947115342Thu, 11 Sep 2008 03:06:00 +00002008-09-10T23:25:19.122-04:00Funny how art imitates life; I actually would like one of the new Nanos in orange. But I've already got one of the Cartmans.http://roboshrub.blogspot.com/2008/09/new-nanos-are-out.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (Gyrobo)5<img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/Roboshrub/~4/WtHPTUeOvs4" height="1" width="1"/>tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13877217.post-8915563758660189303Thu, 04 Sep 2008 01:31:00 +00002008-09-04T17:46:20.733-04:00CSSIHLo! Another comic!Last time we showed you an embarrassingly low-budget Charlton comic. The pages were as thin as the plots, and their adverts focused on the coveted 7-55 demographic. This time around, the Comic Scans Sans Inky Hands (CSSIH) project is doing a complete 180, bringing you a phenomenally awesome 1973 DC comic.Wikipedia teaches us that House of Mystery was originally a horror http://roboshrub.blogspot.com/2008/09/cssih-house-of-mystery.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (Gyrobo)1<img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/Roboshrub/~4/-Y8RcWuUzfs" height="1" width="1"/>tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13877217.post-666636462295764204Mon, 25 Aug 2008 02:03:00 +00002008-08-24T22:38:13.674-04:00Office SuppliesPsychoYou know the pen I’m talking about.The one I borrowed from you about a month ago? The blue one with black ink, the fountain pen you got as a graduation present from your grandpa? With your initials embossed on the cap?The one you’ve been searching furiously for since last Monday?That pen is mine now. I’ve got it in a coffee cup with about twenty or thirty others. Not just pens, either. Some are http://roboshrub.blogspot.com/2008/08/youre-not-getting-this-pen-back.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (Gyrobo)2<img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/Roboshrub/~4/bUdk9cLi5rA" height="1" width="1"/>tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13877217.post-2137289707292238452Fri, 15 Aug 2008 15:00:00 +00002008-09-04T17:46:03.827-04:00CSSIHLet’s talk about demographics.The Comic Scans Sans Inky Hands (CSSIH) project scans comic books from the distant past for present consumption. We’re messengers, couriers, doormen to the gates of culture. If you’ve been reading this series for a while, you know that after the main story, there’s also a section called “Errata” containing all the adverts/non-stories of the comic. For some, this is http://roboshrub.blogspot.com/2008/08/cssih-many-ghosts-of-doctor-graves.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (Gyrobo)2<img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/Roboshrub/~4/NrWaJdi-kdo" height="1" width="1"/>tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13877217.post-2013239708964000140Mon, 11 Aug 2008 05:07:00 +00002008-09-04T17:33:24.668-04:00CSSIHWhat do you get when you take a mediocre premise, execute it poorly, and print it at odd angles on inferior paper? Comic Scans Sans Inky Hands (CSSIH) prefers to let you discover the answer to that question firsthand — or rather, no-hands — by scanning printed artifacts from what by the early 1990s was already dubbed the Golden Age of Kitsch. Read these scanned pages and ponder them. What do theyhttp://roboshrub.blogspot.com/2008/08/cssih-ghostly-haunts.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (Gyrobo)1<img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/Roboshrub/~4/YrRVkPSrREg" height="1" width="1"/>tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13877217.post-5377089931257230050Tue, 05 Aug 2008 03:00:00 +00002008-09-04T17:33:58.159-04:00CSSIHIt was rumored that forty years ago the design for a billion dollar bill was inadvertently printed into the pages of a comic book, and that to this day it remains legal tender.Who started this rumor? Irrelevant. Is it true? Maybe. The Comic Scans Sans Inky Hands (CSSIH) project aims to find out for sure by scanning the pages of as many 1970s comic books as we can.We have a host of stories for youhttp://roboshrub.blogspot.com/2008/08/cssih-monsters-on-prowl.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (Gyrobo)3<img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/Roboshrub/~4/hCHArlLV-H8" height="1" width="1"/>