Robot Johnson

Stripped of faith

OddBot — Tue, 31 Aug 2010 17:00:33 +0000

We often see campaigns by a church to shut down strip clubs, but how often do you see the reverse?

We love strippers. Everyone in the group is constantly saying “Hey, lets go to a strip club.” Stripping women, stripping men, donkey shows, rotary club cake auctions. We don’t really care. If there’s a stage and some love, we’re there.

This article is awesome. Strippers of an Ohio strip club called The Fox Hole (The Vagina Boobie club is right down the road) protesting a church that protested them. But beyond that the article features some great narrative passages:

…The strippers, fueled by Cheetos and nicotine, are protesting a fundamentalist Christian church whose Bible-brandishing congregants have picketed the club where they work. …

…Club owner Tommy George met with the preacher and offered to call off his not-quite-nude crew from their three-month-long protest if the church responds in kind….

…There’s one gas station and a sit-down restaurant that serves country staples like mashed potatoes with gravy and Salisbury steak….

…Laura Meske — known as Lola, stage age 36 but really 42…

…Out back, letters on a bulletin board have faded away so that “No touching” now reads “ouch.” …

…”I’m not the most beautiful woman in the world,” she said. “I go out there and I try to make my money.” …

Man. That article should be voted for an Emmy. Or whatever award you give to people who write about strippers.

-OddBot

The mis-education of Fort Mill

OddBot — Sun, 29 Aug 2010 12:05:37 +0000

Fort Mill. Place of legend, a land of mist and shadow where anything could and probably will happen. Every year thousands of people vanish there without a trace. Also, they have the Peach Stand, so that’s kind of nice. And now they’ll have Robot Johnson.

We’re going to be doing a few shows in the near future, with the first one on 9/9/10 @ 8pm at the Comedy Zone (w/i Madisons on the Corner). Yes, this is in fact the area near Tega Cay. Have you never HEARD of Tega Cay? Well that’s fucking unfortunate, because it’s the place where only the most gangsta of people live. You can’t even get in there unless the pennies in your loafers are shine and the head facing outwards. You will get your ass shot and thrown back out to the dregs of Knightsbridge if you don’t come prepared.

We sure as hell look forward to seeing you and whatever other people you can convince to come out with you. It’s Fort Mill. Anyone who got our humor already moved out to San Francisco to be gay or Portland to be ironic. Or they got pregnant with like 8 babies and spend their days hating everyone else as they wait tables. Whichev.

-OddBot

Gay brother, can’t you spare a dime? (or ‘Friends don’t let Friends become Fabulous’)

OddBot — Fri, 27 Aug 2010 12:36:25 +0000

Okay, I’m officially upset. All of my gay friends on the west coast refuse to return my calls. Apparently they can’t be “bothered” to return a goddamn phone call or email or twittereetamabob. Because they’re dicks. Which is not a reference to them being gay, just a reference to them being assholes. Also, not a reference to them being gay, it’s just really lame that they can’t be bothered with manners.

You know what, they don’t deserve all this vitriol. They probably all met nice fellas or something. Someone not named Sky.

I’m happy for them. I’m happy for them all.

I just wish they’d call, so I’d know they were safe. I’m totally not even looking for fashion advice, either. I’m plenty fashionable. Craig on the other hand is practically the least fashionable person I’ve ever met (I’m not even qualifying it with gay). He still wears pants. Pants went out of season like last season. Everyone knows that this season is all chinos and running sarongs.

Look, I’ve got to go run and pick up some stuff. I’m having some of my socks tailored and they will totally screw me over if I’m not there on time.

Anyways, if you’re not doing anything on Saturday, you should come out to CAST Theatre on Central and catch our new show. It’s the Back to School show. It’s all themed to encourage children to want to stay in school so they don’t have to end up a bunch of comedians with degenerate characteristics. Also, if your kids don’t stay in school they’ll each legally be assigned one gay friend. You don’t want that, do you?

-OddBot

Yes, I am immature

OddBot — Tue, 24 Aug 2010 15:18:18 +0000

I was going to come on here, promote our Back to School show this Saturday at CAST Theatre with all it’s new and wonderful content and just delight you with random marketing/shilling and I decided “Hey, why not put up some content instead?”

So here.

-OddBot

Okay, seriously: I’m just lazy

OddBot — Mon, 23 Aug 2010 16:32:42 +0000

Let’s not lie. I haven’t blogged recently because I’m lazy. It’s not because I’m off banging my hot super-model girlfriend Mrs. Page 63 April 2005. It’s not because of my day job. It’s not even because I don’t have something to write about. Just lazy.

Hey, speaking of lazy I ran into your mom.

Anyways, we’ve got a new show this Saturday at CAST. It’ll be pimp. PIMP! Or just really awesome. Whichever.

We had fun this last weekend with the callbacks from our auditions. Thanks to everyone who has shown up for either part of it. To the two of you who scheduled a time but did not show up, we hate you and seethe silently with rage. Your insolence will forever fuel our rage-driven comedy. Thanks.

We’re going to be doing our show at CAST Theatre at 10. This promises to be a fantastic show because I said so.

-OddBot

PS: More week in thrifty coming up when I feel like writing for these awesome pictures! Woooooo.