Rock Hard Times

The 2011 Grammy Awards - Random Musings or...How I Stayed Awake

2011-02-14T21:55:00.004-05:00

So, I sat through another Grammy awards show last night, expecting the worst, but this one surprisingly had a unique vibe. I dunno, something different. Like things were about to be made right in the music business. But have they ever been "right"....? That is the question (cue Moody Blues "Late Lament" here). Anyhow, I sat down to watch with an eagerness I haven't had in a long, long time to see the dear old Grammys, and I'll admit - I wasn't hugely disappointed. I'm not going to give you the fanboy rundown of each award, but I will share some of my bemusement at the music business, colored with some of my daft humor. Aww...you've read so far, what's a little longer? Do you have laundry in the oven or something?

* Nice tribute to The Queen of Soul, Aretha Franklin, to open the show. I'm glad they didn't give X-tina the task of memorizing "R-E-S-P-E-C-T" - she left that in Dallas (hi-YO!). Sidenote: How is Jennifer Hudson not more popular? Beautiful & man, can she sing.....

* Lady Gaga unveiled her new tune, "Born this Way." Madonna called, baby, and she wants her 80's hit "Express Yourself" back, with royalties & throw in the wig too, bitch. What a crock of shit. Gaga's about to hit that same slippery slope Brit & X-tina experienced a decade ago called "overexposure." Say "hi" to Taylor Swift on your way down...

* Esperanza Spalding won "Best New Artist" over Justin Bieber & Drake. LMAO. Q: Who the hell is Esperanza Spalding? A: The Bieber-nator, that's who. Nice game of keep-away here, Academy. Seriously though, who is Esperanza Spalding?

* Speaking of The Biebs, Usher humbly was on hand to accept credit for "discovering" the Canadian sensation. Just wanted to type the words "Canadian" and "sensation" in the same sentence for the first time ever...without the term "frost-bite" accompanying the latter. BTW - how the fuck did Will Smith's kid get invited to the party...?

* Elton John came out of the closet....AGAIN! No, not because he's gay, but because he was horrified to discover Cee Lo Green and his Muppet friends rummaging through the 1973 section. Also, how many more times do we as Americans need to humor Gwyneth Paltrow about her singing? So what if she gets pissed? As Cee Lo sayeth, "Fuck you-ooo-ooooo....."

* Miranda Lambert = a doll. Katy Perry = a pussy cat, "meowww." Rhianna = damn, girrrrl. WhoeverthatgirlswassingingwithBrunoMars = gorgeous. Mick Jagger = crypt keeper in training. Seriously, Mick....did you need to throw out there every Jimmy Fallon-stereotyping-mocking you move you got? Geesh...

* The Avett Brothers (yay!!) and The Avett Brothers wannabees (aka, Mumford & Sons) joined Bob Dylan for a rousing version of "Maggie's Farm." Man, I was so psyched to see this but, daggone-it Bob, the voice is about toast, man. Love ya, though....

* I'm not a big hip-hop fan, but I gotta give big ups to my homeys Eminem & Dr, Dre. Badass mofos, fo' sho'. My only request is that 2012 be the year of the anti-collaboration - how do they fit all that "featuring so & so" shit on the back of their CD covers?

* Arcade Fire - Album of the Year. Tres bien, Quebecers! Love those guys, and whew, do they wear me out watching them perform. So glad to see hard work and perseverance pay off. I take back what I said aboot Canada earlier (aboot, get it?). One thing though, how do you lose Alternative Album of the Year to The Black Keys, but win the whole she-bang? Just curious how that works...makes my brain achy.

* For a list of some of what you didn't see on TV - go here. Black Keys, Them Cooked Vultures, Iron Maiden, Jeff Beck, Buddy Guy, Neil Young - all winners. Never made it on "the big show," but with the Arcade Fire upset and takeover of the finale, plus The Avett Brothers performance, we're gettin' there....just next time let Cee Lo sing his own goddamn lyrics.

Super Bowl Week = Big Week For Music On TV

2011-01-31T12:35:00.004-05:00

Click on the title above for the full schedule. There's some hidden gems this week if you know how to set your DVR. Live performances from greats such as George Clinton, Todd Rundgren, Yngwie Malmsteen, and Robert Plant, as well as what should be a stellar Crossroads on CMT with The Pretenders & Faith Hill. VH1 Classic is turning things up a notch, featuring John Lennon, The Who, Rush, Fleetwood Mac, Paul Simon, Black Sabbath, and a special treat on Sunday, Brian Wilson performing Pet Sounds Live in London.

Oh yeah, and then there's the Super Bowl which Kid Rock kicks off & The Black Eyed Peas (Fergie & some other dudes to me) play halftime. Here's a link for the Worst (and Best) Halftime Shows Ever as well, in case you need to divert your attention away from Terry Bradshaw laughing at his own jokes for a while.

Stillers by 6 on a last minute drive by Big Ben, set up by a fumble recovery by Troy Polamalu's hair.

Don Kirshner, 1934-2011

2011-01-18T21:59:00.003-05:00

I remember staying up late as a kid on Saturday nights, not just to watch Saturday Night Live, but to catch Don Kirshner's Rock Concert. Incredibly, this influential icon is not in the rock & roll Hall of Fame. Go figure...RIP, Don.

From Rolling Stone.com -

Remembering Don Kirshner, Who Influenced Pop From the Brill Building to Bubblegum

By David Browne

January 18, 2011 6:40 PM EDT

Most music fans knew Don Kirshner, who died Jan. 17 at age 76 of heart failure, as the straight-faced host of Don Kirshner’s Rock Concert, the rock TV show that ran between 1973 and 1981. But Kirshner was more than just a TV presence — he was also an illustrious music publisher and manager, not to mention the man who helped launch bubblegum and American prog.

As Kirshner told RS in a 2009 interview, there was no better example of his renown than his negotiations to book the Rolling Stones on his show in 1973. “I was a nervous wreck because the Stones were being offered a million dollars by the other networks,” Kirshner said. “I got Mick Jagger on the phone and he says, ‘So what are you giving me?’ I said, ‘300.’ He says, ‘300 grand?’ I said, ‘No, $300 a man.’ He laughed and said, ‘Chap, I love your work and I’m gonna do it for you.’ The Stones and the Beatles, they were into our American songs and writers.”

Dubbed the “Man with the Golden Ear” by Time in 1966, Kirshner couldn’t play an instrument but was a key figure in the early days of rock and pop. Although he harbored dreams of becoming a pro athlete while growing up in New York, he started writing songs in the late Fifties with his friend Bobby Darin, which led to the creation of Aldon Music, a publishing house Kirshner co-founded with Al Nevins. Among Aldon’s stable of writers were then-unknowns like Neil Diamond, Carole King, Gerry Coffin, Barry Mann, Cynthia Weil and Neil Sedaka. “I believed they were the future Gershwins and Rodgers and Hammersteins,” Kirshner told RS. “I felt if I had a break, I could build that dream.”

By hustling their songs to other artists, Kirshner made his dream come true: It’s hard to imagine the Sixties without Aldon and Brill Building gems like “Will You Still Love Me Tomorrow,” “Breaking Up Is Hard to Do” and “The Loco-Motion."

“He was such a character, so colorful,” says Paul Shaffer, who worked on a TV pilot with Kirshner in the Seventies and became a longtime friend. “If he loved a record, he’d call people from the studio and hold up the phone to the speaker. He’d describe how excited he was when Neil Diamond came in with ‘I’m a Believer.’ He really loved this music.”

When Kirshner sold Aldon to Columbia-Screen-Gems in the mid-Sixties, Kirshner was given creative control over one of the company’s new TV series, The Monkees, resulting in their early hits “Last Train to Clarksville,” “I’m a Believer” and “(I’m Not Your) Steppin’ Stone.”

Kirshner’s tenure with the Monkees didn’t last long; the group grew to resent his control over their music. But even then, Kirshner emerged triumphant. At a meeting with the group at the Beverly Hills Hotel, Kirshner presented them with a new song he urged them to cover: “Sugar, Sugar.”

“Mike Nesmith said, ‘It’s a piece of junk — I’m not doing it,’” Kirshner told RS. “I came home and my son Ricky was reading an Archie comic book, and I thought that if I could give a voice to Archie, Jughead and Veronica, I could do the same thing, so I created the Archies.”

The all-cartoon band’s version of “Sugar, Sugar” was Number One for four weeks in 1969 and helped launch what became known as bubblegum pop. “That’s all because the Monkees wouldn’t do my song and got me PO’d,” Kirshner said.

Kirshner’s influence extended to the following decade. Rock Concert prided itself on live — not lip-synched — performances by nearly every major band of the time. For many rock fans in the Seventies, the show was their first exposure to David Bowie, the Allman Brothers Band, Kiss, Lynyrd Skynyrd, the Ramones and the Mahavishnu Orchestra.

Shaffer affectionately parodied Kirshner’s famously wooden delivery and wide-lapel suits on Saturday Night Live. (“He got a kick out of it,” Shaffer says. “He would tell me, ‘Ed Sullivan was stiff, too, but he got the gig too.’”) Kirshner also signed Kansas to his label, Kirshner Records, during which they had their biggest hits, like “Dust in the Wind” and “Carry On My Wayward Son.”

At the time of his death, Kirshner was retired and living with his longtime wife Sheila in Boca Raton, Florida. Although he felt overlooked in the annals of rock history, Kirshner prided himself on his vast song catalog (recently estimated to be worth $1 billion) and the lessons he’d passed along to those who came after him, like controversial Beatles and Stones business manager Allen Klein. “One of the things I taught Allen in the beginning was that the value of a song copyright was like real estate,” Kirshner told RS. “I kept telling him, ‘There’s nothing greater than a song.’”

Breaking Ryan Adams News!! New Album Out 12/14...!

2010-11-26T10:16:00.003-05:00

Thanks to our NYC correspondent, Miss Erin, for sharing this breaking news over Thanksgiving dinner!!

Listen: Ryan Adams releases 'Destroyer' in advance of 'Cardinals' set

By Katie Hasty - Double-disc 'Cardinals III/IV' gets a December release

Friday, Nov 19, 2010 8:17 PM

Aside from that "Sci-Fi metal" concept record "Orion," things have been fairly quiet on the solo Ryan Adams front. He helped out Norah Jones on a track, and the same with Weezer.

Ring the bell, now, though. The rocker and folker (and not-so-secret metal and rap lover) has assigned a Dec. 14 release date to "III/IV," an double-album of material recorded with his previous band the Cardinals during their 2007 "Easy Tiger" sessions, to be out via Adams' own PAX AM label. And, according to a release, it's a "concept rock opera about the '80s, ninjas, cigarettes, sex and pizza." Well, whatever.

As an enduring Adams fan -- through the jams and the firings and the podcasts and poetry and hiatuses and boring-as-hell last studio effort (sorry) -- I'm ready to try out whatever Adams wants to throw at the wall, to see what sticks.

One of these is "Destroyers," which is not on the "III/IV" tracklist (below) but is at least a taste of things to come, perhaps. A little trippy, a little soft-rock and totally imperfect, it's a decent tune that sounds somewhat unfinished... but I dig. Some of the songwriter's best material is when he sounds vulnerable and feral, and that's the MO here. And forget click-track: this is what comes out of d*cking around in the studio comfortably for a while.

There will be limited releases of red and blue vinyl and CDs of "III/IV," and the tracks will also be up for sale digitally.

Listen here:

Ryan Adams & The Cardinals - "Destroyers" (uploaded by thesteamengine)

Here is the tracklist for "III/IV":

III:
Breakdown Into The Resolve
Dear Candy
Wasteland
Ultraviolet Light
Stop Playing With My Heart
Lovely And Blue
Happy Birthday
Kisses Start Wars
The Crystal Skull
Users

IV:
No
Numbers
Gracie
Icebreaker
Sewers at the Bottom of the Wishing Well
Typecast
Star Wars
My Favorite Song
P.S.
Death And Rats
Kill The Light

The Top 10 Guitar Riffs of the 1980's (Accoding to Gibson)

2010-11-18T08:48:00.006-05:00

This article from Gibson.com seemingly has been picked clean by "the experts" on XM, Sirius & my favorite local radio station. While I'm positive I can come up with at least 10 others that are at least comparable from "my decade" (at least throw in some Stevie Ray Vaughan, Peter Buck, Mick Mars, or Mike Campbell) this list of riffs ain't half bad. Let the debate commence....! - DJ

Start Me Up: The Top 10 Riffs of the 1980s
Michael Wright11.15.2010

Somewhere deep in the primordial ooze of rock and roll there exists a phenomenon known as the “riff,” with the power to make a decent song great, and a great song an all-time classic. There were a handful of great riffs in the ’50s (“Susie Q” comes to mind), but the form really began to flourish in the ’60s, at the hands of Dave Davies, Pete Townshend, Keith Richards and other, predominantly British, guitar heroes. In the ’70s, it was part and parcel with “classic” rock. You couldn’t throw a pet rock without hitting some axeman coming up with his own “Iron Man” or “Sweet Home Alabama.” The ’80s kept the tradition running, with guitarists from decades past, like Keith Richards and Tony Iommi, still flexing their muscles, along with a new breed of riffmasters like Slash and Vivian Campbell.

It’s tough narrowing down the decade of Reagan and Rubik’s Cubes – and when all-stars like Eddie Van Halen, Tony Iommi and the boys from Iron Maiden don’t make the cut, you know you’ve got a tough list – but here are the 10 we deem the most totally awesome of the 1980s:

10. Rush, “Limelight”

You’ve got to love Alex Lifeson. Blessed (or cursed) with sharing trio space with one of the best bass players on the planet and probably the best drummer on Earth, Lifeson still manages to stand out with imaginative solos and, in the case of this Moving Pictures tour de force, major league riffage – his best since “Passage to Bangkok.”

9. Guns N’ Roses, “Sweet Child o’ Mine”

Appetite for Destruction ushered in a new age of stripped down, rip-out-your-throat rock and roll. And while the album was stacked with heavy hitters like “Welcome to the Jungle” and “Mr. Brownstone,” it was the ballad of the set that had the most unique and memorable riff. Kudos to Slash, Izzy and company for finding a way to wrap a love song around this torturous hand exercise.

8. The Clash, “Should I Stay or Should I Go”

Sometimes you only need two chords to kick an audience in the teeth, and certainly Mick Jones and Joe Strummer did just that with this Combat Rock fave. Beginners, if you need a showpiece for that school talent show but only know a handful of chords (no pun intended), you could do a lot worse.

7. Michael Jackson (featuring Steve Lukather), “Beat It”

Even metal dudes had to cop to the fact that this Michael Jackson track freakin’ rocked. Yes, it had that insane guitar solo by Eddie Van Halen, but the engine driving the song was a weighty bounce by session whiz Steve Lukather.

6. Judas Priest, “Breaking the Law”

Priest fans might argue that “Livin’ after Midnight” or “Heading Out to the Highway” are more deserving – fair play, I actually prefer “Highway” – but it’s hard to deny the brutal simplicity of this British Steel classic. Kinda makes you want to rob a bank with your guitar, doesn’t it?

5. Def Leppard, “Photograph”

There’s a bit of alchemy on this one, not unlike the opening chord of The Beatles’ “A Hard Day’s Night.” There are actually two guitar parts interwoven on this seemingly simple blast from Pyromania. It proved to be a memorable entrance for Phil Collen into the band, just as their career was about to kick into overdrive.

4. Scorpions, “Rock You Like a Hurricane”

Maybe the heaviest combination of simple power chords ever, Rudolf Schenker’s five-chord opening on this Love at First Sting track is instantly memorable – the key to any great riff. Case in point: I defy you to attend an air show and not hear this song 10 times!

3. Ozzy Osbourne (featuring Randy Rhoads), “Crazy Train”

In the 1980s, you couldn’t throw a dead cat in a music store without hitting some kid playing this Randy Rhoads warhorse. The churning, sinister opening section hurls the song forward and creates a momentum that never lets up, even as Ozzy takes it off the rails.

2. The Rolling Stones, “Start Me Up”

Twelve years after “Honky Tonk Women,” Keith Richards could still conjure an open-tuned gem like no one else. This 1981 classic is so stirring that nearly 30 years later you’re still unlikely see a football stadium not use it to psych their fans up for a kickoff.

1. AC/DC, “Back in Black”

Perhaps the greatest riff-oriented album of all time is the band’s 1980 farewell to dearly departed singer Bon Scott. Brothers Angus and Malcolm Young cooked up some of the greatest riffs of their career on this magnum opus (including “You Shook Me All Night Long,” “Hell’s Bells” and “Have a Drink on Me”), but none is more memorable than the hard and heavy title track.

8 Infamous Rock Star Deaths

2010-09-21T23:16:00.001-04:00

From the good folks over at Guyism:

8 Cliff Burton, age: 25 – Metallica

Cliff Burton helped provide the groove to Metallica’s domination of thrash metal in the 1980s and lived up to the hard partying lifestyle with his fellow band mates. However, it wasn’t the booze that d brought the reaper knocking. While sleeping on the bus in route to gig in Sweden, the bus flipped over sending Cliff out the window and then rolling over and crushing him. The cause of the accident isn’t entirely clear. Some say weather conditions were to blame others claim the driver was drunk, either way Metallica forged ahead. Cuz, that’s metal, man!

7 Bon Scott, age: 33 – AC/DC

Hey there, young rockers, we know you like to party after the show with the groupies and what not. But take a note from former AC/DC front man Bon Scott — don’t get so plastered that you pass out in a car in below freezing temperatures and choke to death on your own vomit. It’s gross and really pisses off your band mates. Some say Scott choked others claim it was hypothermia, but regardless, rock lost a great front-man. And what about lil old AC/DC you ask? Well, they went on to finish the monumental album Back in Black, which they had already started writing with Scott before he expired.

6 “Mama” Cass Elliot, age: 32 – The Mamas & The Papas

Part of the popular 1960s folk group, The Mamas & The Papas, Cass Elliot was… how should I say, on the bigger side of the scale. After a string of shows in London, Cass was found dead with a partially eaten ham sandwich by her bedside — and behold, the legend of Mama Cass choking to death while shoving food into her face is born! Whether or not this actually happened has been debated for years, but the coroner’s cause of death was ruled, “fatty myocardial degeneration due to obesity.” Damn, that sounds even worse than choking to death! Take note, Kirstie Alley, that’s all I’m saying…

5 Darrell “Dimebag” Abbott, age: 38 – Pantera

Probably one of heavy metal’s best guitarists, Dimebag was generally known as a friendly outgoing guy among his peers and fans, which made it even more surprising that he was murdered. Here’s the scoop, Darrell was performing with his new band Damageplan in an Ohio nightclub when a schizophrenic fan, charged the stage and shot Darrel, killing him and three others. It’s one thing to be shot while walking home to your pad (John Lennon) or by your father (Marvin Gaye) but c’mon, let the guy finish his guitar solo!

4 Brian Jones, age: 27 – The Rolling Stones

A founding member of the Stones, Brian Jones was always a bit of an outsider from the rest of the group, but a talented multi-instrumentalist nonetheless. The guy liked to party and was found motionless at the bottom of his swimming pool by his model girlfriend at the time. The official cause on his death certificate read, “death by misadventure” which I gotta say, sounds a lot cooler than how Elvis went out. Some rock historians attribute that this “misadventure” was actually homicide at the hands of a construction worker who had been working on the rocker’s home.

3 Randy Rhoads, age: 25 – Ozzy Osbourne, Quiet Riot

Okay, so a lot of rock stars have died in plane crashes- Stevie Ray Vaughn, Buddy Holly, half of Lynyrd Skynyrd, etc etc. But I’m gonna mention Randy Rhodes simply because he was so awesome and it’s my list (go make your own if you don’t like it). Ozzy Osbourne probably wouldn’t have had a career after Black Sabbath if not for hiring young axe virtuoso Randy Rhodes. During a tour stop, Rhodes and the band’s hairdresser went for a plane joyride while the rest of the band napped on the bus. Upon flying too close to the ground the plane’s pilot clipped the bus and crashed the plane, killing all on board. Bummer.

2 Michael Hutchence, age: 37 – INXS

So whatever get’s you off sexually that’s your own business, just make sure it doesn’t kill you in the process. Before David Carradine kicked the bucket with a belt around his neck while getting his rocks off there was Aussie singer Michael Hutchence of INXS. Some say it was a suicide over distress from problems with his girlfriend, others claim it was autoerotic asphyxiation. Whatever the real reason, Hutchence bit the dust too early and INXS went on to appear on a horrible American Idol type reality show to find a new singer.

1 Johnny Ace, age: 25 – R&B singer

It’s probably a good idea that if your kid tells you he wants to be a blues musician to talk him out of it. Death, heartbreak, deals with the devil… there’s just too many cons in that profession. Memphis born Johnny Ace was a rhythm & blues singer with a bright future ahead of him… until he shot himself in the head. Apparently, while “killing” time on the bus (get it, get it?) Ace was playing with his .22 revolver after a bit of drinking. Upon being warned by another passenger to be careful Ace said, “It’s okay, gun’s not loaded… see?” and the rest is history.

The Avett Brothers: Who are these guys?

2010-07-11T12:30:00.006-04:00

From www.theavettbrothers.com:

There is no harmony like brotherly harmony. Something indelible in the weave of voices and play of sensibilities is stamped into the fraternal DNA and also stems from a lifetime of shared experiences. You can hear it in classic brother acts across the musical spectrum, from the Louvin Brothers to the Everly Brothers and on down the decades through the Wilson brothers (Beach Boys), the Davies brothers (Kinks), the Allman Brothers and even the Brothers Gibb (a.k.a., the Bee Gees). You can clearly hear fraternal magic at work in the songs of Scott and Seth Avett, better known as the Avett Brothers, as well.

That magic is abundantly evident on I and Love and You, the Avett Brothers’ big-label debut. Its 13 songs are delivered in a style that defies pigeonholing but might be described as a rootsy amalgam of folk, country, bluegrass, rock and pop – even a jab of punk-style dynamics here and there. Drawn by the naked honesty of their songs and the rousing intensity of their live shows, legendary producer and talent scout Rick Rubin signed the Avett Brothers – consisting of siblings Scott and Seth, plus bassist Bob Crawford - to his American Recordings label in 2008.

“As soon as I heard the depth in their singing and songwriting, I was in for the ride,” says Rubin, who has worked with some of the most talented mavericks in the business, including Johnny Cash, Tom Petty and The Dixie Chicks. “The Avetts’ songs have such a sincere emotional resonance. The purity of the messages stops you in your tracks. It’s unusual to hear such open-hearted personal sentiment from young artists today.”

For their own part, the Avett Brothers instantly felt at home in the studio with Rubin. “While growing up, his work influenced us in some weird way to do what we do, and it influenced our sound quite a bit, too. I mean, from the Beastie Boys to the Red Hot Chili Peppers to Johnny Cash, we explored all those records he did in depth. We felt comfortable working with someone we had faith in based on his credentials and track record. We wouldn’t be that way for anybody, we really wouldn’t.”

By the time Rubin found them, the Avett Brothers had compiled their own impressive track record. They’d already issued five full length albums and two EPs, on their manager’s Ramseur Records label. They debuted in 2001 with a self-titled six-song EP and then issued a full-fledged album, Country Was, a year later. The heart of their catalog is the albums that followed: Mignonette (2004), Four Thieves Gone (2006) and Emotionalism (2007), which offered a generous 49 songs among them. The Avett Brothers’ latest release, an EP called The Gleam II, reached #82 on Billboard’s Top Albums chart in 2008 – quite a showing for an independent CD with minimal marketing and publicity.

Over the years, the Avett Brothers built up a sizable following based on their rowdy, infectious stage shows. In concert, the high-flying ensemble tears through tunes with unbridled energy, popping banjo and guitar strings right and left while inciting stomping singalongs among audiences that appear to know every word. At times they would seemingly create their own subgenre onstage - “punkgrass,” for lack of a better word. This much is for certain: the Avett Brothers are a grassroots phenomenon, built from the ground up. I and Love and You marks the point at which they’re poised, with perfect timing, to break through to a broader audience.

I and Love and You was rehearsed and recorded at the Document Room, located high on a hillside in Malibu, California. After cutting discs at various spots around their native North Carolina for eight years, the Avett Brothers were ready to take on the challenge of making an album at a top-of-the-line studio on the far side of the continent. The brothers were hardly unfamiliar with the Golden State, as they’d been visiting family in the Sacramento area since childhood and had gigged around California in recent years. But working with Rick Rubin in Malibu represented a giant step forward.

“A benefit of making the record in California is that it switched everything up,” says Seth. “It helped put us in the mind set that we’re starting a new chapter. We’re looking to make a record in a different way than we have in the past, and we want to be open to these new methods. There’s no better way to try something new than to work in a place you’ve never been.”

The results speak for themselves. From the 17 songs they cut with Rubin, 13 made the final cut. Rubin sequenced I and Love and You – the only time the Avetts have delegated that task to someone else. “This is the first time we have not been critical of the song sequence,” Scott noted approvingly.

In fact, the Avett Brothers are rightfully proud of I and Love and You in every aspect. It is, they feel, an album they’ve been building toward. “Years ago, Seth had told me that he someday wanted to make a record where everything was as crisp and clear and well-produced as it could possibly be,” recalls bassist Crawford. “And with the help of Rick Rubin and [engineer] Ryan Hewitt, we’ve done that.”

“It’s how I’ve always wanted our band to sound,” affirms Seth. “What I like is an absolute presentation of clarity. It’s not that I want to be glossy, and I don’t know that we ever could be glossy in the way that some pop artists are. But I love music you can grasp hold of because there’s no mistaking what the person is saying and presenting, and I feel like we’ve come the closest to that on I and Love and You.”

Themes that recur on the album have to do with commitment, maturity, and moving forward through life with a positive outlook. I and Love and You has little to do with the ephemeral world of latter-day pop, even if several songs (notably “Kick Drum Heart” and “Slight Figure of Speech”) are tuneful and catchy enough to merit radio play. The Avett Brothers mean to create music of substance for the long haul. Seth Avett is just under thirty years of age while Scott is slightly over. A lot of what they’ve been writing about lately has to do with transitioning from youth to adulthood. You can hear this clearly on such songs as “The Perfect Space” and “Head Full of Doubt, Road Full of Promise,” thoughtful disquisitions that serve as the album’s thematic centerpieces.

“It’s hard to tell where some of these songs are coming from and they can have many meanings,” Seth allows, “but I think on the whole the album makes some comment on the fact that we are young men, but that youth is fleeting and it goes by very quickly. When you’re moving out of your twenties and into this time when you’re hoping to build something, it’s a beautiful thing and a scary thing. It still feels like things are up in the air like they were in your twenties when everything was up in the air and you didn’t know what the hell was going to happen and who you were going to be. But during that time you start gaining the tools you’re going to use in the rest of your life.”

The Avett Brothers have spent much of the past decade nurturing their skill as songwriters, along with their proficiency as vocalists and musicians. Although Seth and Scott are principally identified with acoustic guitar and banjo, respectively, from their live shows, both brothers also play piano, drums and most anything else with strings. (The brothers possess formidable artistic skills, too, and their sketches and paintings adorn their albums.) Clearly, however, songs are the center of the Avett Brothers’ universe. The brothers turn out songs in profusion. They write them individually, and they write them together. Each might write an entire song, or credit might be split down the middle or any conceivably fractional way. There is no set method to their songwriting. The point is, Seth and Scott generate songs constantly, because that’s what they feel that they were born to do.

“There’s not an option,” explains Seth. “It feels like a living thing, and if we want to keep it alive, we have to nourish it. There are so many things we have to consider now - the stage show, business issues, our relationship to different people and our fans - but at the heart of it is the songwriting and the connection we have with ourselves and others through that writing. It’s an essential and imperative element to our existence.”

“On top of all that, it’s just exciting,” Seth continues. “Scott and I and Bob get these new songs going, and that is our lifeblood. It’s obvious we’ve got to keep rolling with it. Whether the records come out or don’t come out, and whether there’s a market or not a market, the important thing is that we’re writing songs. They’re not just for a release date; they’re for posterity.”

The Avett Brothers formed in 2001 in Charlotte, North Carolina when banjoist Scott Avett and guitarist Seth Avett joined forces with standup bass player Bob Crawford. At the time, the brothers fronted a neo-punk band called Nemo. They enjoyed blowing it out on electric instruments but eventually began feeling the tug of the acoustic music they’d heard growing up. They were raised in the textile town of Concord, about a half-hour north of Charlotte. Their dad, Jim Avett, had a box of eight-track tapes that Scott and Seth picked through, listened to and digested. It included albums by Bob Dylan, Neil Young, Crosby, Stills & Nash, and Jim’s own folksy duo, Common Decency. Other roots musicians from the folk and country realms filtered into their subconscious, too. Thus, in 2001, the brothers launched an acoustic side band, called Nemo Back Porch Project, for which they added upright bassist Crawford. He recalls the initial meeting with Scott and Seth:

“They were wanting to do some of the music they were raised on via their dad, which was old songs by Rambling Jack Elliott, Kris Kristofferson, Hank Williams and Tom T. Hall. I met up with them on a Sunday night in an empty parking lot. I got out my bass, and these two guys showed up in a gold Ford Taurus station wagon wearing flannel shirts and cutoff pants. They were total grunge kids. We sat in the parking lot, just the three of us, and played ‘Going Down the Road Feelin’ Bad’ and ‘More Pretty Girls Than One.’ Then they showed me an original song called ‘Kind of in Love,’ and it was very interesting. It wasn’t like any of those traditional songs. Different chord structure, with all these minor substitution chords. I was like, ‘This is really unique.’”

From there, Nemo’s acoustic sideshow blossomed into the main attraction, and the Avett Brothers were born out of it. Still and all, while they built up a loyal following around their home state in places like Charlotte, Greenville and Chapel Hill, they weren’t exactly setting the woods on fire beyond those pockets of regional fandom, and Scott and Bob forged ahead with plans to attend graduate school in the fall of 2002. However, there was one unfinished piece of business in Crawford’s mind.

“I said, Listen guys, I’ve always wanted to go on the road with a band,’” Crawford recalls. “’If I book a tour, will you guys go? Can we just go on the road for a couple weeks this summer?’ And they were like, ‘People have said things like this to us before, but if you do it, we’ll do it.’” And so Crawford got on the Internet and booked a month-long 21-city tour. They camped out or slept in the truck when they couldn’t find a floor to sleep on, subsisted on peanut butter and banana sandwiches, and returned home with $4,000 and a flock of new fans in 21 cities. The Avett Brothers were off and running, and grad school got shelved.

Live shows remain the Avett Brothers’ calling card. In the spring of this year, they opened selected dates for the Dave Matthews Band. On their own, they’ve filled a 7,000-seat venue in Cary, North Carolina, and sold out two nights at the Crystal Ballroom in Portland, Oregon – one of their strongholds. In June 2009, they performed back-to-back sellouts at New York’s Fillmore East.

With I and Love and You, they’ve also taken a giant step forward on the recording front. Whereas they’d previously opted for a first-take freshness, now they wanted to proceed at a more deliberate pace, taking advantage of the options that Rubin’s wisdom, a bigger budget, a better studio and more time allowed them. In short, while they’d always tried to bottle their live magic in the studio, this time they set about making a more nuanced and well-crafted record.

“We were totally up for spending more time on it,” says Scott. “As time goes on, you become more critical about your work. And the more critical you become, the more willing you are to explore the options. We did a lot of revising and reworking in the studio. For instance, it was like ‘Let’s try drums in this part.’ ‘No, that won’t sound good.’ ‘Well, how do you know, we haven’t tried it?’ ‘Okay, you’re right, let’s try it.’ There was a lot more of that going on.’”

In harnessing the tools available to them in the service of the strongest set of songs they’ve written so far, the Avett Brothers have surpassed themselves on I and Love and You. There’s really no great secret or magic formula for what they’ve achieved here. It comes down to honoring inspiration with an awful lot of hard work. “The brothers have an incredibly strong work ethic,” affirms Rick Rubin, “and they continually worked at honing their craft. Hearing brothers who have sung their whole lives together – singing the truth – was a revelation each new day.”

“We know what we’re worth, and we’ve been campaigning for a long time to be heard,” notes Scott without false modesty. “Rick is helping that by sitting up and saying, ‘Let me work with you.’ We can tip our hats and pat ourselves on the back momentarily and say, ‘Good job guys, we have been heard by somebody who’s been heard by a lot of people, and he’s let us in his camp.’ I really look at it as a positive thing and a good milestone. And when it comes time for the next step, we’ll do our best again and keep moving.”

“We’ll just keep writing our songs and making our records, and how it goes is how it goes,” concludes Seth. “We’re trying our hardest and having some fun doing it, and that’s all it needs to be.”

7 Thinly Veiled Songs about Sex

2010-06-30T11:59:00.001-04:00

From the website Guyism:

In today’s modern world of pop music and hip hop, sex is overtly discussed with no intention of hiding the song’s true meaning under a layer of metaphors. However, go back a few decades and you’ll find plenty of artists that found creative ways to get the topic of sex onto the radio airwaves of a more repressed generation. Below are seven classic songs with a hidden meaning related to sex.

7 - Madonna – Borderline

Borderline was one of Madonna’s first hits, and created at a time when she was still a little indirect about the topic of sex. On its surface, Borderline seems like a fairly innocent song about being in love. However, it doesn’t take much reading into the lyrics to guess that being pushed over the borderline is a euphemism for having an orgasm. Evidence can be found in the following lyrics:

Stop playing with my heart, finish what you start
Won’t you set me free?
Borderline, feels like I’m going to lose my mind.

6 - Frankie Goes to Hollywood – Relax

Frankie Goes to Hollywood were notorious in the 1980s for their open homosexuality. So much so, in fact, that the album was banned by BBC Radio for being obscene. Despite this fact, the song ended up becoming a #1 hit for the band. Looking at the song’s lyrics, FGtH tried to be slightly enigmatic about the song’s sexual meanings, but just barely.

Relax, don’t do it / When you want to come
I’m coming / I’m coming, yeah
Hit me with those laser beams

5 - Wang Chung – Everybody Have Fun Tonight

This one is based on a lot of hearsay, but a fair amount of people seem to believe that “Everybody Wang Chung tonight” is code for “Everyone have an orgasm tonight.” The band has never addressed this rumor, but they have stated the name of the band (Wang Chung) can be defined as “perfect pitch.” While this doesn’t have anything to do with sex, “Everybody perfect pitch tonight” doesn’t make any more sense than the actual lyrics.

4 - Warrant – Cherry Pie

If you think Warrant’s Cherry Pie is actually about a tasty fruit dessert, then you need to grow a few brain cells. Clearly, this song (which was composed on a pizza box by Jani Lane in less than 15 minutes) is all about getting it on with his special lady. Looking at the lyrics of the song, it’s one of the thinnest veiled songs about sex of all time:

She’s my cherry pie, cool drink of water, such a sweet surprise / Tastes so good, make a grown man cry
Swingin’ on the front porch, on the lawn / Swingin’ where we want cause there ain’t nobody home

3 - Cyndi Lauper – She Bop

“Well they say I better get a chaperone / Because I can’t stop messing with the danger zone.” While fellow contemporaries like the Divinyls were more open on the subject (“When I think about you I touch myself”), Cyndi Lauper’s She Bop is quite obviously a song about masturbation. In interviews, Lauper has stated she wanted younger audiences to think the song was about dancing. However, anyone over the age of 12 knows the real meaning:

I want go south and get some more
They say I better stop – or I’ll go blind

2 - Def Leppard – Pour Some Sugar on Me

Anytime a rock star refers to sugar, it’s probably safe to say they’re discussing sex. With lyrics like “you gotta squeeze a little, squeeze a little, tease a little more,” the true meaning of the song isn’t all that hard to decipher:

Pour some sugar on me, ooh, in the name of love
Pour some sugar on me, c’mon fire me up
Pour your sugar on me, oh, I can’t get enough
I’m hot, sticky sweet from my head to my feet.

1 - Rolling Stones – Brown Sugar

Mick Jagger has stated that the song Brown Sugar is about a combination of lewd topics, including drugs and sex. More specifically, the topics of interracial sex and slave rape are fairly obvious. Given that the song was released in 1971, it’s safe to say that a thin veil of metaphor was necessary in order to get the song on radio airwaves.

Brown sugar, how come you taste so good / Brown sugar, just like a black girl should.

So there are the seven Guyism came up with. Whaddayou have?

"Rated R" 10th Anniversary Re-Issue (A Must Have...)

2010-06-30T08:20:00.003-04:00

"By the Powers Of Facebook....!" Ha ha...got my QOTSA update recently & discovered a gem - the 10th Anniversary Dee-Luxe re-issue of Rated R....! Another late summer must have, this bad boy is PACKED with extras! I can't wait! However, I can't do it jmuch ustice so I'll let the QOTSA webmaster fill y'all in....
Posted by IGA on 6/24/2010 on the QOTSA Homme site (heh heh):

ACCLAIMED QUEENS OF THE STONE AGE ALBUM RATED R REISSUED IN TWO-CD DELUXE EDITION WITH B-SIDES AND READING FESTIVAL CONCERT

“the best, most important rock album for years…No gimmicks, no postmodern guilt-trip bullshit, just punk rock space-cadet genius, Queens Of The Stone Age’s major label debut compromises nothing but still has mass appeal. The new rock royalty have come to claim their throne. Do not miss out on this.” --NME, September 2000

One of Rolling Stone’s top 100 albums of the decade, Rated R from Queens Of The Stone Age marks its 10th anniversary with the expanded, two-CD Rated R - Deluxe Edition (Interscope/UMe), released August 3, 2010. Added to the original album is a second disc with six B-sides and the band’s memorable summer 2000 Reading Festival concert--featuring nine previously unreleased songs, including live versions of Rated R’s “Feel Good Hit Of The Summer,” “The Lost Art Of Keeping A Secret,” “Better Living Through Chemistry” and “Quick And To The Pointless.”

The B-sides are “Ode To Clarissa”; “You’re So Vague,” a spoof of Carly Simon’s “You’re So Vain”; covers of Romeo Void’s “Never Say Never” and the Kinks’ “Who’ll Be The Next In Line”; a live version of the album’s “Monsters In The Parasol”; and a re-recording of “Born To Hula,” an early QOTSA song. The other Reading Festival tracks are concert takes on “Ode To Clarissa,” three songs from the band’s debut album (“Regular John,” “Avon” and “You Can’t Quit Me, Baby”), and “Millionaire,” a song originally from Josh Homme side project Desert Sessions.
Issued in June 2000, Rated R was QOTSA’s breakthrough, the band’s second album but first on a major label. Led by singer-songwriter Homme and emerging from influential California desert rockers Kyuss, QOTSA debuted with a self-titled album in 1998 that instantly earned the group accolades. After a tour, QOTSA returned to the studio with Homme’s long-time collaborator and co-producer Chris Goss (of Masters of Reality) as well as former Kyuss bassist-singer-songwriter Nick Oliveri. The result was Rated R, which guested Screaming Trees’ Mark Lanegan (lead vocals on “In The Fade”) and Judas Priest’s Rob Halford (backing on “Feel Good Hit Of The Summer”). But it was the anthemic “The Lost Art Of Keeping A Secret” which became the band’s most popular song.

Rated R was, as its NME reviewer wrote, “the best, most important rock album for years.” A gold album, four Grammy nominations, seven more Modern Rock Top 40s and 10 years later, Queens Of The Stone Age return this summer to the Reading Festival and revisit a landmark album with Rated R - Deluxe Edition.

Why We Need The Strokes Back

2010-06-09T23:27:00.004-04:00

The following was posted by Paul Stokes on NME.com today. I was just thinking the same thing the other day...after not appreciating The Strokes all that much the first go 'round, I feel fortunate to have possibly a second chance. I hope they feel the same, because I've gotta feeling a lot of us are ready to commit...

- DJ

Lupo's Heartbreak Hotel sounds like a very Strokes kind of place. In my mind it's an off-the-beaten-track, slightly rundown establishment where the locals don't take too kindly to strangers. In reality, of course, the Providence, Rhode Island hall is a pretty hip downtown venue. Still, it's exactly where you'd have expected The Strokes to have played their last ever gig, on October 9, 2006.

That is, until now. Today Julian, Nick, Nikolia, Fab and Albert Jr are set to break their four-year duck and play their first show since touring 'First Impressions Of Earth'.

Originally the big comeback was pencilled in for Saturday (June 12) at the Isle Of Wight Festival, with the band coming out of nowhere to headline with their fellow New Yorker, Jay-Z.

However, in an echo of their earliest gigs (when they first appeared in 2001 they caused people to pay over 200 quid for touted tickets to their London Heaven show), the band are causing chaos with a string of hints on Twitter that they'll be playing at London's Dingwalls on Wednesday night (June 9) under the name Venison. I must confess, even a music hack like me is panicking about whether or not I can get in.

Why am I so excited? Julian Casablancas might have joked that they were playing festivals this summer purely for the cash, but he knows that, live, the likes of 'Last Nite', 'Reptilia' or 'Heart In A Cage' possess a unique internal energy that makes them impossible to play without passion and edge.

It's why they proved so revolutionary when they first exploded into our record collections. As a gang The Strokes were laid back to the point of comatose, but the music was a clarion call that caused the generation that followed them to pick up guitars (and blazers and Converse trainers) again.

That's why I'm not worried about this comeback. Sure, the band have been on hiatus but they've not been idle. In the meantime we've had solo records from Julian, Nickle Eye and Albert Hammond Jr, Fab released an excellent first album with Little Joy, while Nick – the quiet Stroke – kept the creative juices going with a spot of photography and a guest spot on Sia's latest album.

And I think with all that activity, when they get onstage together as a band, it's inevitable that The Strokes will pulse with that some edgy energy of old.

And frankly this is a comeback we need. The Strokes might have made NME's album of the decade with 'Is This It', but it feels like they have unfinished business.

When I edited the issue of NME that celebrated the band's tenth birthday back in 2008 (they formed in 1998) there was one thing we got from nearly everyone we spoke to – the band, their friends, the management, their famous fans: this was a band with so much more to come creatively.

They've had a four year break, but let's hope once they get up onstage tonight and at the weekend, that the "Boys Of The Summer" (as Julian christened them on Twitter recently) will become the Boys For The Future.

It's been a great start from The Strokes, but it's going to be even more interesting to see what they do next, because if there's one band on the planet who are qualified to follow up 'Is This It', it's a certain five-piece from the Lower East Side. Oh and if anyone has a spare ticket for Dingwalls…

Rock News. Got it right here.

2010-06-08T11:51:00.005-04:00

Iron Maiden are celebrating the start of their world tour and in advance of the release of 'The Final Frontier' by making the album track "El Dorado" available as a free download for all their fans. Frontman Bruce Dickinson says, "'El Dorado' is a preview of the forthcoming studio album. As we will be including it in the set of our Final Frontier World Tour (which opens in Dallas on June 9th) we thought it would be great to thank all our fans and get them into The Final Frontier mood by giving them this song up front of the tour and album release." Get it here.

Ryan Adams has revealed that he has written 11 new songs inspired by his recent trip to Ronnie James Dio's funeral. "11 new solo tunes came out of nowhere," Adams said. "Day after Dio's funeral they just fell out. Soft mellow acoustic jams- lots of New Orleans scenery and vibe from the trip." more

Rage Against the Machine mocked music mogul Simon Cowell with an animated skit at their free concert in London on Sunday, June 6, which was arranged to celebrate their chart victory over the reality TV show judge last year. The crowd giggled and booed as a cartoon Cowell was beamed onto the overhead screens at the concert, welcoming the band onstage with the words: "I am the supernova! If Rage had entered X Factor, they wouldn't have got past boot camp." more

Bon Jovi have defended their ticket-pricing system ahead of the band's upcoming London residency after they were accused of overcharging fans - insisting the huge costs are only for special packages. The "Livin' on a Prayer" hitmakers are making the British capital their home while they play several gigs at the O2 arena, starting from Monday, June 7. more

Arcade Fire made their live comeback last night (June 7) - playing the first of two intimate shows to 1,200 people at the ornate Granada Theatre, in Sherbrooke, Quebec. more

As fans await the new album from Ozzy Osbourne, Scream, due on June 22, three tracks from the record will be available for the Rock Band video game on June 15. more

Paramore have debuted a music video in support of their latest single "Careful". It contains the band's live performance scenes from several different concerts which are mashed up with footage from rehearsal, studio and photo shoot sessions. more

Snow Patrol have announced that they will release a new album next year. more

Marple TV have posted the second part of their interview with the late Ronnie James Dio. Check it out here.

Quiet Riot is part of Legacy Recordings' brand-new Setlist series of live collections which will be available at all physical and digital retail outlets starting July 13. more

The Farmers Classic will come to a rocking close the day after the 2010 champions are crowned when the LA Tennis Center plays host to KLOS Rocking The Net Starring Bret Michaels, to benefit the Southern California Tennis Association (SCTA) on Monday, August 2nd. more

Green Day release their Green Day: Rock Band video game this week and Billie Joe Armstrong tells MTV News that he is impressed how the game has introduced younger fans to songs they may not have heard.

Under The Table Vol. 3 - Guilty Pleasures

2010-05-15T08:38:00.014-04:00

So, us guys were just kind of milling about here at RHT, waiting on someone to start up the coffee pot. Typical everyday stuff, you know...going over yesterdays sports scores, talking lawn care. Then Consuela, our operations manager (cleaning lady - yes, that's how we roll) saunters by, flips the switch on the coffee pot (Hanif had already loaded it last night - he's crafty like that) and asks us if we'd seen last night's American Idol. Of course, we all reply, "Hell no - we don't watch that crap!" and laugh (Dean: not so comfortably) while going over the prospects of where LeBron will be plying his trade next year. Consuela says, "Ju guys suck. Ju know ju watch dat stuff. Don't even tell me ju don't watch dat "Dancing Starsss" on de TV. Ocho Cinco? I hear ju talking 'bout him all de time." Little does she know Chad is an afterthought really after checking out the latest Cheryl Burke ensemble, but she has a point. We're guarding. Heck, we're all dudes, right? So she leaves with that know-it-all smile trailing her out of the room (watch it, you're up for evaluation in a month, chica) and we commence to dismissing the elephant in the room.

Fess up, boys...what's your musical guilty pleasure? What's that one song or artist that if it pops up on a road trip with your boys you would incredulously exclaim, "How'd that get on there? Meddling kids!" What's that one song you'd be most embarrassed to be exposed having a Tom Cruise "Risky Business" moment on? What's that cassette or 8-track you keep hidden when company is over? EZ, confident in his manhood, speaks up first...

EZ - Right off the top of my head, here are a few...I'm not really embarrassed about them to be honest because they are what they are...also, in no particular order:

1) Michael Buble'- ever since I was a kid, I always likes the old Vegas scene, the crooners like Sinatra, Andy Williams, Dean Martin...there's not too much of that floating around anymore but I enjoy Buble'... have I bought any records or mp3's..? No. Bought tickets to a concert? No. Do I get sick of hearing the same song play on the radio 3-4 times a day? Yes...but I do enjoy his music.

2) I have a guilty pleasure of telling anyone within ear shot of how much I hate Creed, Nickelback, Shine Down, and all the bands in that shitty genre...I'd say it happens at least once a day here at work.

3) Whatever that Miley Cyrus song is where Jay-Z is on the radio and Brittany is on the radio...I kinda dig that song. Not sure why, but I dig it.

SuperVesey - My musical tastes are broad to say the least. As I look at my collection I notice everything from Walter Brennan, to Dropkick Murphys, Kid Rock, Johnny Paycheck, Metallica, etc. However, I guess if there is one that I seem to have to defend the most - its the Jacko albums. Even after his post-humus reclamation of his kingship, something about a grown man cranking up Michael Jackson just isn't the "coolest" thing to do. Maybe its the pedophile connections, maybe its all the surgery, maybe its Bubbles - dunno, but a stiff dose of "Man In The Mirror" just doesn't play right in an SUV full of men headed to the game - ya know? Just leave me alone, stop pressuring me, it makes me want to scream.

Hanif - I don't know if any of my guilty pleasures are flat out unacceptable anymore. There was a time where I liked stuff that was just flat out socially uncool in my music elitist circles. But, now...that same stuff seems to have this ironically cool quality. Taking a look at the first 3 that come to mind:

JUSTIN TIMBERLAKE: I loved his first solo album. I disliked N'Sync, but you could always tell that he was the talented one. I became a fan of his solo career when it was uncool and untrendy to be one, when he was still battling the N'Sync stigma. And then, Futuresex/Lovesounds came out, he had a few hilarious guest stints on SNL, and just like that. It's cool, and socially acceptable to like Justin Timberlake. One of my super music nerd friends, one who has "I only listen to everything that no one has ever heard before" written all over her, came up to me just last week and said, "Hey, have you ever heard Justin Timberlake's first solo album? There's some pretty good stuff on there..."

I just smiled, nodded, and acted as if I'd never heard it before.

KELLY CLARKSON: Here's the thing. She was an American Idol. So, automatic points are lost for that. However. She was the FIRST American Idol, before the show became annoyingly formulated....I imagine. I supposed I've never watched a full episode. But, the point remains that she can flat out sing. Period. Like no other American Idol winner after her. But, just when I was feeling guilty about my Kelly Clarkson enjoyment, it became very, very cool to appreciate her. Indie bands, GOOD bands started covering her songs (The Gaslight Anthem does a fantastic cover of "I Do Not Hook Up" which seems hilarious, but comes out quite well.), and the hipsters started getting Kelly Clarkson vinyl (a trend that I admit that I latched on to...), and it's no longer a guilty pleasure to like Kelly Clarkson. And I don't look cool when I say that I liked her back when "Behind These Hazel Eyes" was out.

PATRICK STUMP/FALL OUT BOY: Here's the thing. There was a point for me, around (third studio album) Infinity On High, where I just detached from the band Fall Out Boy, and latched on to being a huge, huge Patrick Stump fan. At the time, he was a chubby, nerdy looking frontman, with a huge, soulful voice. And, despite my loyalties to Fall Out Boy, due to the era I came from, and when they became huge, I would run around telling people they HAD to hear FOB's music, not for the band...but just for Stump. Most reactions would be, "Oh, man, get that emo shit out of here"....or some variation of that, followed by threats of physical violence. But NOW, that FOB has long since gone on the dreaded "indefinite hiatus", and Stump KILLED at SXSW a couple of months ago, dropping a ton of weight, losing the glasses, and inexplicably showing off a fresh bald spot while doing killer soul covers....HE'S NOW COOL TO LIKE. People are asking me for Fall Out Boy b-sides these days, wanting to hear more of his voice.

So, In short, I've never had any guilty pleasures that I can call my own. They all become too cool, it seems.

Dean - I'm not embarrassed in the least (ahem) to admit that I jammed to Katrina and the Waves on the way to work as my daily psych-up. The first 15 minutes of that album just put a smile on my face. Same thing with the B-52's and "Love Shack." Am I ruining it by admitting that I turned the volume down as I pulled by the students in the parking lot. They already thought I was weird enough as it was. Little did they know. (wicked grin)

DJ - Well, for me it's that 60's & 70's AM Gold. Pop music that was (and still is) soothing to the ears & to the soul. It takes me away back to a simpler time & place...riding shotgun with my dad in his pickup, sometimes being allowed to take the steering wheel. I remember he got an FM converter kit for that truck radio, and thinking back on it it kinda killed it's soul. That truck was soooo 70's....I wish he still had it.

Anyway...I'm not ashamed to admit that I still pack along some Bee Gees in the ol' ipod. Not the disco Bee Gees, but the harmonious earlier stuff - before Barry found his over-the-top falsetto. "How Can you Mend A Broken Heart," "I've Got To Get A Message To You," "Fanny (Be Tender With My Love)" - that kinda stuff. Sometimes I still soothe my soul after a long, stressful day at work with The Brothers Gibb riding shotgun along with me, while we perform vocal calisthenics.

Shoe - Well, if liking the BeeGee's makes you a nerd I'm totally screwed. But seriously, folks, if you took a look at my collection (10,000 strong in CDs, LPs, 45's, downloads, blah-blah-blah) you'd find just about everything. I just like music. Period. Depending on the mood, I'll put on anything. Sinatra, The Sex Pistols, Snoop, Tchaikovsky (yeah, he's on YouTube), Dierks Bentley, Hank Sr., I really don't give a shit. I look at music as I would a painting. What's cool to one may not be cool to another. That said, there's an artist or two that I'm not exactly proud of tapping the ole' foot to. Hey EZ, that Miley song of which ye speak ?(go ahead, it's OK to click on the link). I've haven't bought it on iTunes yet, but I will say my finger's been on the "buy" button once or twice. Catchy as hell I must say. And Hanif? I must admit that I've never changed the station when "Since U Been Gone" by Kelly Clarkson pops up (seriously, click on that one for sure). In addition, anyone who thinks Timberlake isn't talented isn't paying attention. Ah, what the hell, I'm going to open up completely. Remember that scene from Tommy Boy when that song by The Carpenter's comes on and Farley and Spade start singing along? That's me. Karen carpenter has the voice of an angel, dammit. An angel! Sometimes I'm just in the mood, what can I say? And oh, by the way. I've seen Manilow in concert. Twice. And I liked it.

Under The Table Vol. 2 - What Was Your First Concert?

2010-04-28T16:46:00.011-04:00

All Aboard...!!! The RHT tour bus is about to head out on the highway! Grab your seats folks, it'll be a long ride. Everybody move on to the back...except Hightower - you're the DD today, brutha, since you're not drinking & you're accustomed to driving large transportation all over the USA. We got snacks, we got drinks, we got cards...all kinds of entertainment (no, Vesey - you can't bring that on here to "read", I don't care if your subscription got doubled). By the way, guys...in case your wondering there is no significance to the Pink Bunny at your left, other than I thought it was kick-ass and if I had a costume like that I'd be wearing it right now. See, a convo starter! Dean...you're going to have to quiet down over there. I can't hear EZ...what's he saying? Oh, yeah...we'll get you back before the wedding...sure we will. Yessssirree...(insert maniacal laugh here)!! Alright, boys...we need to get on the road to go pick up Hanif, let's bolt. Everybody, around the bus...let's hear about your first time. Uh, wait...let me clarify for Vesey...your first CONCERT. Yeah, man. Start us off, Deano...!

Dean: Aerosmith. 07/20/1974... Columbus, OH - St. John's Arena. I was 15 years old and went with my two best friends, who happened to be brothers. Tony was also 15 and Tim was 17. The arena was smoke-filled and the sound was actually terrible. We were thrilled beyond words. Real live music with our favorite band, crowds of hippies (like we so desperately wanted to be), and yes, people really did pass joints to you just because you were setting beside them. It was practically free love and Woodstock all over for us southern Ohio boys. Jesus God we loved every second of it. I've thought about that night every time I've been to a concert since then. I wish everyone loved music like we do.

Hightower - I'm going to have to limit my response to my first ROCK concert. Better yet, it will be the first concert I went to once I figured out what good music was. You see, me and my bud Flea Fly (and my mom) took the Flurry sisters to see KC and the Sunshine band when we were in the 9th grade. Then my parents took us to see the Commodores (with Lionel Richie) that next summer. As sophomores, we talked my buddy’s parents into taking us all the way to Shreveport to see the J. Geils Band (I REALLY don’t want to talk about it).

But then spring of my junior year, we had to go to Monroe to take the ACT. We all talked our parents into letting us make a weekend of it (what were they thinking?). After the test, which nobody gave a rip about, we went to the movies and saw Porky’s and Richard Pryor Live on the Sunset Strip, straight from there we hustled over to the Civic Center to see RUSH. This was the Exit Stage Left tour. Was this a great day, or what? BTW, most of us bombed the ACT.

I knew Tom Sawyer from the Texas Tornado Kerry von Erich’s intro on Mid-South wrestling, but that was about it for Rush. Needless to say, I was blown away and became a RUSH junkie. I even dig this treat. Neal Peart is, of course, the greatest drummer ever and I will only allow arguments for second place. First ever rock concert and I get to see da Vinci on the skins. It’s been all downhill from there for drummers. Oh, also, all us country boys got freaked out when someone offered us pot – it was the first time we ever saw or even smelled it. We just knew the cops were gonna bust everybody so we moved three times and got offered in each place! Folks, when I got my first CD player, Exit Stage Left was the first CD I ever bought. I still listen to it. That’s why I count this as my first ROCK concert.

EZ - First concert I ever remember was a the Ohio State Fair... my sister went to a Huey Lewis and The News concert but I was too young (probably like 6 years old!)... so my dad and I hung out by the fence and listened anyway... then we figured out that if we rode the ferris wheel, we'd be able to see into the show AND hear great... that's about all I remember from the show...I remember loving all the lights.

The first concert I really went to (if you can call it that) was The Beach Boys after a Reds game (probably in 1986 or so)...when I moved into my house a few years ago, I found a box of my old posters and there were a couple posters in there from that show (it was sponsored by Chevrolet)...as kid, who didn't really dig on The Beach Boys you know?! I went with a friend of mine and my parents and remember climbing up on the backs of the seats at Riverfront Stadium and surfing on them for a couple hours! On the ride home, my dad was pulled over for speeding and he made us act like we were sleeping so he might get out of the ticket. It worked so we conned him into stopping to get us candy as a reward!

The first real concert I went to in an actual concert environment was a Jimmy Buffett show at Riverbend...not sure when it was but i know it was the summer after he recorded the live disc "Feeding Frenzy" in Cincinnati. I think i was 13 or 14 and had a blast looking at all the old farts dressed up in the parrot-head gear...that was actually the last time I've seen Jimmy live...if it works out, I think my fiance' and I will head down to Riverbend this year to scalp some tix.. good times..!

SuperVesey - Unfortunately for me, and I had no idea at the time, my first concert would be one that I will undoubtedly spend the rest of my life trying to top. I had the opportunity to see Nirvana at Dayton's HARA Arena during the Nevermind tour in October of 1993. Sure, I saw some live shows before this one, but this was a real concert. This one sticks out. Even today my pimply-faced jr. high students get goose bumps when I tell them I once saw Kurt Cobain live.

Mike Taylor, the late Barney Long, me and some other guy whose name I can't recall (always a good sign for a legendary concert story) piled into Mr. & Mrs. Long's Pontiac van! and hit the road for what would become a game-changer in the young life of yours truly. Upon arriving at the show I quickly realized this wasn't going to be like the Louise Mandrell show at the county fair. As we were herded onto the floor of the Arena, I noticed the absence of chairs, we were just corralled into a pin of sorts with the stage squaring off the end. Most of the people inside the pin with me and the guys appeared to also be exponentially more strange than anyone in Highland County. I'll never forget this one dude who came staggering across the floor (obviously high out of his mind) aiming directly for us. We stepped out of his way (quickly and in unison) and he proceeded to go throw up by a metal barrier on the side of the floor. This is what you call setting the tone.

The show was opened by an Asian band called The Boredoms and then followed by a band we hadn't really heard of at the time, The Meat Puppets. (Later Cobain and Co. would cover some of their songs in the Unplugged MTV set, pretty good band in their own right). When the Meat Puppets finished, the atmosphere changed. The lights suddenly went out and you could feel and hear the rush of people in the pit towards the stage. It was like trying to stand in the middle of the street in Madrid when they run with the bulls. Only in the dark.

Nirvana played with raw power and man, it was loud. The pit quickly turned into a moshing frenzy and we bounced around the floor of the Arena, often separated from each other only to find ourselves moshing in the same pit minutes later. I'll never forget, right about the time "Smells Like Teen Spirit" was played a guy walked into the center of the pit I was standing around wearing a light blue sailor suit. Looked like a real life Popeye the Sailor (and no, we weren't on acid). He starts prancing around the circle, calling people out. Much to my buddies surprise and probably horror, I shot across the pit and blasted him out of the ring and back out into the crowd. Pretty sure I heard cheers from the crowd. It was craziness unlike any I'd ever seen. Crowd surfing, drinking, violence, sex, you name it, it was there all set to the beat of Dave Grohl's drum.

Shoe - Judging from that first paragraph I'm not on the bus. Sigh. How soon they forget the founding father of RHT. Anyway, here's the scene. It's the Spring of '74, and King's Island has decided to have their first-ever "Senior Night." They made a slight miscalculation in their plans, though, and invited every high school in Ohio. In later years they'd split the thing up into 4-5 nights, but not that first year. Needless to say it was chaos from the get-go, buses lined up on Rt. 35 as far as they eye could see. What happened on that highway with all those buses stopped is another blog unto itself. Just trust me when I say that some girl from Bucyrus named Eliza is probably still dreaming of me to this day. But on to the show . . .
Two bands played that night. The opening act was a group called Redbone. They ended up being a bit of a one hit wonder with a tune called "Come and Get Your Love." I can hear you humming it now. They entered the stage in full Native American regalia, which was OK because they were all full blooded Cherokees. This being my first live concert and all (I know, I got a late start. I made up for it quickly though) I was blown away. Little did I know that I hadn't seen anything yet. That's because Brownsville Station hit the stage like a fucking H-Bomb. That's because their drummer, Henry "H-Bomb" Weck, beat those mothers like he was cornered by a rat in a Louisiana whorehouse. When Cub Koda started the intro to "Smokin' in the Boys Room" it was over:
How you doin' out there?
Y'ever seem to have one of those days where it just seems like everybody's gettin' on your case, from your teacher all the way down to your best girlfriend?
Well, y'know, I used to have 'em just about all the time. But I founda way to get out of 'em.
Let me tell you about it!
(Place explodes into bedlam).
The band followed that with "Barefootin'" and it was on. Great great night. And oh, by the way, if anybody tries to tell me that Motley Crue's version of "Smokin'" was better, I will beat you down.
Later fellas.

DJ - Sorry Shoe...didn't see ya sleepin' back there, man! My bad! Anywho...my first concert technically was a Midnight Star/Dazz Band show at the Ohio State Fair with my good friend Richie Buskirk & his older sister Kim when I was in like the 6th grade...but we had terrible seats though & left Kim to go hit the rides before Midnight Star even came on. This was regrettable, because I really liked Midnight Star at the time & break dancing was all the rage. Could have picked up a few moves. But I digress...

My first "real" concert was Alabama & Restless Heart in what must have been the summer of 1987 at The Ohio Center. I know...Midnight Star to Alabama - quite the transition. BUT, I must tell you I was in loooove with this girl & accepted the invitation to go with her, her dad & stepmom. Country music wasn't quite my bag, but Tommy's Pizza was involved as well. Actually, I came to respect Alabama a great deal after that show - they were (are) tremendous musicians. Also found out my girlfriend-at-the-time's dad played in a band, which immediately made this the coolest girl I'd ever dated. "What happened to the girl," you might ask? Well, I ended up marrying her, and our boys seem like they might follow in Opa's footsteps...!

Real quick though...I did eventually make it to a full-fledged rock & roll show by the fall of 1989, and it was an infamous one. Motley Crue with Warrant, Riverfront Coliseum, Cincinnati, OH. Yep, this was the one where Tommy Lee was arrested after mooning the crowd after his spectacular drum solo in his revolving cage, which traveled out over the crowd. Also, something I found more hilarious than that, and maybe a bit foretelling, was that during Warrant's set their douchebag singer Jani Lane takes a big swig out of his water bottle and tosses it to the crowd (like whomever caught it would keep it as a souvenir). Much to Jani's surprise, some dude freakin' fires that bottle back at Lane & hits him in the chest. I damn near cried laughing so hard though, because Warrant really did suck that bad. You just knew the whole hair band gig was about up by then, ya know?

Hanif - Well, this is interesting. Because I grew up in the era of the D.A.R.E. concert, in which a bunch of police officers who were hardly able to play their instruments would get together, and have concerts full of songs about staying off of drugs, with a light show, over the top guitar solos, and the occasional synth. I sat through one of these in like 5th grade, and it was an all out party. Dancing in the aisles, kids with glo-sticks, flashing lights....it was like some kind of rave. Except there were no drugs. Because we were like 9 and 10 year olds. And it was a concert to promote anti-drug use.

I went again as a high school senior, as a D.A.R.E. advocate (which oddly made me incredibly cool amongst my peers on the soccer/basketball team. It was like the thing where you're so ironically lame that you become cool by default. Like Michael Cera.), and it was the worst experience ever. I nearly had a seizure because the lights were so bright, and the kids no longer danced in the aisles. Being drug free isn't as cool as it was in 1992.

That said, my first REAL concert was Montell Jordan at one of the old OSU block parties (that have long since ceased to exist, sadly), and it's telling, I think, of my era. I was too young to catch a cool late 80's-early 90's epic band. And by the time the late 90's alternative movement started back up, I was too old to have a "first concert" experience. So, I was stuck in the mid 90's, sitting crammed on a lawn, with a girl I kind of thought I liked, but I just mostly liked kissing every now and then, listening to a 3rd encore of "This Is How We Do It"

By comparison to the rest of my RHT peers, I'm ashamed to even share this.

Under The Table Vol. 1 - Who Is The Voice Of Your Generation?

2010-04-11T10:24:00.015-04:00

Welcome, welcome to our first discussion here on RHT where the minds that matter meet up with the matter that minds, "Under The Table!" This is a liquid conversation, that preferably will take on the appearance of a Roundtable Meeting Of The Minds, but could no doubt evaporate into drunken name calling and food throwing. Irregardless of the outcome, we're gonna have fun with this so let's get started before the beer gets warm:

For those growing up in the 1960's, Bob Dylan has always been widely acknowledged as "the voice of his generation." Who would you consider "the voice of your generation," and why?

EZ - for me, it is the lame answer of Kurt Cobain...by lame, I mean, it sounds "cliche'".. but i was young enough to follow the entire grunge movement (at least once it hit mainstream for the most part, which sounds paradoxical huh?- mainstream grunge)...I could identify with those bands, with their angst and lyrics...as I look back, I'm not really sure why we felt the way we did, but it felt damn good... the first time I broke my nose was in a mosh pit thrashing around to "Smells Like Teen Spirit."

Soundgarden and Alice In Chains were great, and don't get me started on Pearl Jam and how Eddie Vedder brought a new bag of tricks to the table...but Kurt spelled it out right. For me, I'm terrible at remembering lyrics but I bet I can sit down right now and play everyone of those songs from memory...the music and feeling just defined me at that time in my life.

Another that comes to mind for me would be...a bit later, towards the end of high school and college, Dave Matthews was a voice for me... but I'll stick to Kurt. I remember when Nevermind was released. I was in 8th grade and I remember Jon Soards and I riding to the Dayton Mall with Kurt Cokonougher to get some school stuff. We went to the record store and I remember a wall of Nirvana cd's, with the naked baby...I thought that was wild..I had seen the "Smells Like Teen Spirit" video on MTV and kind of dug it...I ended up buying a lizard and a big tank to take care of it and Soards and I split the cost on the cd...listened to it on the ride home and that was it...it was totally crazy sound and it became me.

Dean - I graduated from high school in '77, so I'll use the years 1972 to about 1981 as my formative ones. Wow, what a cultural wasteland that time period was. We were already pining for the 60's back then. My musical hero was (and is) David Bowie, and rock music would be lessened if he never existed, but he wouldn't qualify as the Voice of a generation in America.
Dark Side of the Moon was played more or less continuously during this ten years. Maybe it was the soundtrack to our generation, if not the Voice. Television became the thing to watch with a gathering of friends, but you had to turn it off in order to have a conversation.

... anyway, even though he was gigantic before 1972 I guess I'll pick Lou Reed as my choice for Voice. That was fun to type. His album "Rock and Roll Animal" set the standard for live albums, and still does based on pure explosive performance. His lyrics became more engaging for a wider audience, maybe because he wasn't shocking anymore, but he sure could describe the hard side of life. I felt like I had met real people with problems that put mine to shame when I listened to his songs. He's had an immeasurable influence on musicians of all genres for the last 40 years, including my favorite lyricist story: His first performance of his new album "New York" in 1988, done of course in NYC, consisted of Lou standing on stage, solo, reading each song in order from his own lyric sheets. No music or sound. The audience sat silently for the hour or so that it took, then rewarded him with a standing O as he left the stage and the concert hall. Rave reviews and all. Not bad.

DJ - I'm with EZ in that Kurt Cobain would be the easy choice. I was a sophomore in college when Nevermind came out, and I immediately became ashamed of my music collection at the time. I literally boxed up my Kiss & Motley Crue cassettes so no one would see them. I was already getting into Alice In Chains & Jane's Addiction, and Nirvana was the group that sealed my liberty from hair metal. I had a bad car accident the following summer also, and In Utero really resonated with me, especially "All Apologies." Kurt's death in 1994 also snapped me back into reality, showing me I hadn't grown up enough yet and I didn't know a damn thing about "real life."

All that being said, I was still a child of the 80's - the video age - and I feel compelled to systematically eliminate my candidates. We had images of Micheal Jackson & Madonna burned into our eyes. Bono really tried his hardest to BE the voice of our generation, but being an 80's kid I wanted to keep all my stuff and preferred not to give it to some starving kid in a 3rd world country. Springsteen released Born In the U.S.A., but that really was for the previous generation...then there was Tunnel Of Love. Some folks can argue with merit that Chuck D. from Public Enemy was the voice of my generation, and while I don't necessarily disagree, I'm from a small Mid-Western town of 5,000 & would be bullshitting you all if I told you I knew how Chuck D. felt. I understood, but could not relate. Therefore, if I add all that together: (MJ + Madonna) + The Boss - Chuck D = John Mellencamp. He's cool...but not that big of a fan. Sorry. Fail.

Which leaves me with only one other possibility for the voice of my generation. This person embraced the video media (reluctantly). He has an eye for social issues. He's small-town, working class. He's outspoken, yet in a very subtle way. He is: Michael Stipe. This exercise has shown me that the music of R.E.M. is the soundtrack of my life. They've experimented, sometimes not too successfully, yet they're loyal & true. There's a naked simplicity there, yet so complicated at the same time. Michael Stipe (with Mike Mills countering in the background) is indeed the voice of my generation.

SuperVesey - When I first saw this question I instantly flashed back to my high school years and tried to remember who really spoke to my generation. This is a difficult question from the start because I can't really say what we use to qualify the "voice of a generation." Are we talking about lyrical relevence and commentary on the times? Popularity based on radio play (I hope not). Or maybe even just influencial artists that helped form your "musical taste." I am kind of partial to the latter (and its a heck of a lot easier than narrowing it down to one!) so I'll share some of the artists that sunk a groove deep into my brain.

Being in high school in the early to mid '90's points directly to the grunge era. Kurt Cobain brought a new edge to music to say the least, and Vedder and company followed suit by helping usher in a totally new genre. I agree with DJ that the old hair band cassettes (Twisted Sister, Poison, Cinderella) suddenly seemed like the bubble gum classics of the 50's compared to the angst and raw energy of the grunge bands. But while I might like to maintain that this more serious brand of rock completely turned me away from mindless foot-tappers I would be lying if I did.

My generation was the one where MC Hammer was cool (if only ever so briefly). Hip-hop became the dominant force for MTV and guys like me kind of liked some of it. Sure Metallica and heavy metal was there to balance everything out but the variety became acceptable. I can remember when the music stores were pretty much divided into Rock and Country/Western. Genres (which may be a word born in my generation) sprang up that crossed lines (Run DMC/Aerosmith, Public Enemy/Anthrax) that opened the eyes of country bumpkins from Highland County to stuff our parents didn't even consider music. I mean, do you remember "Rock Me Amadeus"? Really, what was that? Song? Story? It was totally awesome is what it was.

I dunno, add it all up grunge, rock, hip-hop and alternative and I would have to say the voice of my generation was Hank Williams Jr. See that's just it, no voice can contain it. You want my voice? Fire up the old "We Are the World" video. That's my voice. Especially the Huey Lewis voice.

DJ - I'm so changing my answer to Falco too, SuperVesey. "Rock Me Amadeus" was the bomb. Why wasn't he in "We Are the World?" What? He's Austrian? So what...he and Taco ("Puttin' On The Ritz") would make a formidable tag team unlike the world has ever seen.

Shoe - Sorry I'm so late to the "table" here kids, but I've been busy over at that damn sports site I've been running. Anyway, being the old dude in the bunch my answer is going to take an obviously different route. For me it's a no-brainer - John Lennon was the voice for me. Yes, he was 16-years older than me but he still counts, right? The thing with Lennon was, he said as much outside of his songs as he did within his lyrics. I mean this literally. Lennon was truly saying things publicly that I only dreamed of saying to my parents and teachers. As I stated in a a blog on here a long time ago, it all started for me with "Nowhere Man." Simple yet deep (at least for this 10-year old kid) lyrics about individual apathy really struck a chord with me. It was kind of an early 60's "Comfortably Numb", at least in my mind. Not only that, on a much simpler level Lennon was the first person I ever read about who would be completely honest with an interviewer. The man was completely devoid of bullshit. Honorable Mention would have to go to the aforementioned Dylan, as well as Mr. Bruce Springsteen. I never grew up in Jersey, but there was a period in the mid-70's where I wish I had. One more thing, and I hate to beat a dead horse about who the best grunge bands were, but you Cobain fans have listened to Green River, Melvins, Sonic Youth and The Pixies, right? Right?

A Musical Guide To The Sweet 16. (Part II.)

2010-03-25T17:13:00.003-04:00

Here's the funny thing. After last night, I had a few people ask me "Well, what about The Beatles! who are the Beatles going to be??" Well, come on, people. KANSAS WERE THE BEATLES! they had it all, the harmony, the established leadership, the boyish good looks....I don't think that this means that Ali Farokhmanesh (again. We're facebook friends.) is Yoko Ono, necessarily. But we'll get there. Today, we take a look at the remaining 8 teams, and what band they represent. And through that, I'll guide you to your eventual winner. Despite the fact that this process has never been tested, I can assure you that it's foolproof. Off we go.

WEST:

(6) Xavier: This is funny, because I was legitimately stuck on Xavier, and then the great, famous DJ (of Rock Hard Times fame? YOU BET.) had this suggestion after reading last night's entry, and it fit perfectly. So, I will quote him without his permission:

"Oh please let my Xavier Muskies be Tom Petty & The Heartbreakers! Are we a mid-major, or are we not? Do we complain to record companies about the high cost of LP records, then 25 years later have the audacity to charge $150.00 for a frickin' concert ticket? X is solid, year in & year out though...and on stage you'll wonder if it's live or Memorex they're that in sync. The Heartbreakers just don't have that one guy that is blessed with talent on loan from God - except for the perplexing lapses in judgement - like Jordan Crawford. Let's just say Ryan Adams is opening for TP & The HB's and sings a set with the guys...then smashes all of Mike Campbell's guitars on his way off stage?"

So, there it is, Xavier. DJ has you pegged, and I honestly couldn't agree more. You guys are Petty, Jordan Crawford is playing the role of all of the Heartbreakers in one.

(5) Butler: Butler, in your conference, you're at the top of your game. It's been a while since you've been beaten, you're steady....unlike your wild, fast opponents, you take it slow when needed, and you are technical wizards. Your conference is often overlooked, a conference that would represent a genre that only true nerds can get into. Butler, you're Rush. At the end of the day, no one but you, and maybe 10 other people care about the intricacies of your play. Much like I could care less what time signature "Bravest Face" is in...but you just keep putting out quality . You'll have your detractors, people that just don't want to put up with the pretentious know it alls that act like they really like what you do, when we all know they're just saying it to be cool, but you don't stray from your game. People will say that it's easy to come across this good when everyone that is your immediate competition is simply below you, but hey....Rush didn't rise to the top of the Prog Rock world by selling out like Yes, did they? There's no "Owner of a Lonely Heart" on your resume, Butler. But, you MAY need to switch the style up, just a bit, to compete with the remaining field. Can you?

(2) Kansas State: For F's sake, Kansas State. Who do you guys think you are? You're coming out of the midwest, you've never seen a shot you didn't like, and you're led by a madman, a great coach, probably a great leader, but a dude with great hair, that never seems to shut up. It only makes sense that you guys are Fall Out Boy. You impress the younger crowd with your style, running up and down the court, jumping all over the place, and taking shots from everywhere...but the older crowd sees through you, and wants something a little more safe. And they're probably shocked that you've made it this far without the ego of your leader eating you alive, much like Pete Wentz eventually did. Like Fall Out Boy, Kansas State...if you keep playing loud and fast, people may never notice your glaring deficiencies, and trust me...they are glaring. Denis Clemente, you're the Patrick Stump of this outfit. The true, true talent. The true backbone, who may get a bit overshadowed by the antics of your crew. But, don't worry. If SXSW was any indication for Stump, there's hope for a bright, respectable solo career for you, too.

(1) Syracuse: Syracuse, I like you. I mean, I REALLY like you. You're versatile, everyone can do everything, it seems. And yeah, you've got a star, who often takes most of the spotlight, and that can get annoying...but the rest of the guys are all talented, do it all players who get the job done. Sounds like The Band. And Jim Boeheim is as good as Ronnie Hawkins, the wise old legend who bought you into the world. Wes Johnson is the Robbie Robertson-like, spotlight lover, who has earned it through excellent play, and style that will stop nowhere short of bronzing a guitar. Andy Rautins, though, you're like Levon Helm. The REAL cog in this flawless machine. You can do it all. You guys haven't hit the phase of turmoil and tension yet, Syracuse. Let's hope you can get through this tournament before this happens. And Wes Johnson. Don't show up to the final four in bronzed kicks.

MIDWEST:

(9) THE University Of Northern Iowa: Northern Iowa, an unlikely cast. A crew of people from all backgrounds, mixed together, coming out of nowhere to take down the giants. Overlooked, underrated, and until recently, most people couldn't name ONE member of your entire crew. Broken Social Scene, anyone? Farokhmanesh is in the role of Feist, no disrespect to his gender. But, much like Feist, now that you've blown up, Ali (I shall call you Ali, because I have a hard enough time spelling my own last name, and I'll be damned if I have to spell yours, too. Great shot, but get over yourself.), people will be back tracking. Checking out all of your past hits, checking out all of your other group members, and their solo projects, and their past hits. Just don't bomb at the awards ceremonies, like Feist did at the Grammys a few years back, Ali...because you'll be at the ESPYs, at least. UNI, you guys, just like BSS, refuse to be written off as some unhuman super assembly of players, you're scrappy, fighting for every inch of respect you get, and no two players have the same sound. I like your odds to get some major hipster respect after this tourney, UNI. People will start saying they liked you BEFORE it was cool to like you. Roll with it. You'll be looked back on fondly.

(6) Tennessee: Tennessee, we just never know what we're going to get out of you, do we? Some nights, you'll put on the best show of all time, and the next night, you fall completely flat, and erupt into turmoil. You know who else had that problem? Oh, yeah. The Replacements. You guys are not headed for a good end, I'll tell you that. Bruce Pearl is the Paul Westerberg of this group, just kind of orchestrating a plan, and then getting out of the way, and letting Tommy and Bob Stinson bash their way through the show, hitting and missing all the way, much like JP Prince and Wayne Chism bash their way through a game, sometimes on fire, sometimes missing every shot they take until late into the 2nd half. But, when you're on. OH when you're on. It's the stuff of legend. You're better than everyone. But, at the end of the day, like the 'Mats, you guys just don't care enough. It's not enough to have groupies, endless beer, and glory at your fingertips. You'd rather show up to play in a dress, and nod off during the first half of your set. Godspeed, Tennessee. Godspeed.

(5) Michigan State University: Well, boys, you're in a similar boat as Purdue/Black Sabbath, it has just come at a far worse time. You were poised to make a run, and yeah, you were catching your stride, really hitting the mainstream hard, and taking advantage of the general weakness of your scene. And then you lost your leader in untimely fashion. Sadly, Michigan State, you're Nirvana. Losing Kalin Lucas leaves you utterly defenseless, much like Nirvana, and the state of Michigan is going to mourn similar to that pacific Northwest. And then, like the Foo Fighters, next year's model of you will rise to equal, if not greater success. It's a sad story, but a true one. RIP Kurt. And get well, Kalin.

(2) Ohio State University: You've got a pure genius leading the pack here in Evan Turner, boys. It may or may not even matter who the rest of you guys are, but the fact that you all compliment his skills so well? that's a match made in Heaven. People disliked when you got overlooked as a 1 seed, and THEN were slighted by getting the toughest 2 seed...but like things often do...it's seemed to work out. All that said, you all are The Beach Boys. Much like when Brian Wilson took a hiatus from the Beach Boys, and I feared for their existence, Evan Turner's brief break had me fearing for the legitimacy of your chances. But when he came back, you all were right back on top, were you not? Thad Matta, sadly, you're Mike Love. The guy who LOOKS like he's in charge, but you know really has no clue what the hell is going on half the time, and is praying that the genius of your team keeps it together, so that you can keep your car, house, and wife. Overlooked by other pop acts, aren't we, Ohio State? don't worry. The Beach Boys were often overlooked by the Beatles, and Phil Spector's wall of sound. But, look...Kansas were the Beatles, and that didn't pan out. And no one is Phil Spector, because he's in prison, but Kentucky could be well on it's way. This is definitely your time, Buckeyes. Once people realized the Beach Boys were more than just cars, surfing, and girls, they unleashed a masterpiece on us, with "Pet Sounds". Once people realize that you guys are more than Evan Turner (well....kind of...), you may finally get your masterpiece as well.

WHO WILL WIN:

If music history has taught us anything, it's that steady hands lead to longevity, but there's nothing wrong with making a little bit of an impact, doing a ton of narcotics, and flaming out. But, those are never the guys that make classic. Motley Crue had a ton of crap albums. So, I would rule out Washington. I'd also rule out Cornell. The Carpenters were beautiful, and safe, and loving. But after a few hits, they were taken over by the more rough, rugged oriented rock. So, that leaves you with Kentucky, and West Virginia coming out of the East. The thing about the Sex Pistols is this, they got INTO music to kill idols, and wipe out the ideas of legends like The Who. And, for a short while, they did. And they burned out, but not before they took the piss out of nearly all that they could. I'd say Kentucky here.

In the South, AC/DC, you have to remember....IS STILL AROUND. They're old, they're battered, but they've withstood everything. ZZ Top is still around, but no one cares. AC/DC came back stronger than ever, and put out one of their best albums last year, while ZZ Top kind of languished in Texas. Keeping the dream alive, I'd take Saint Mary's over Baylor. Black Sabbath is METAL. The Eagles are not. But, remember, this isn't Ozzy's Black Sabbath we're talking. It's not even Dio's. It's like Tony Martin's Black Sabbath. And while I'm in my 20's and not lame, and I hate the Eagles...they're the safe bet here. Take Duke. However, don't take Duke to your final 4. Because AC/DC learned the tricks over the years, the tricks to stay relevant without selling out like Glenn Frey and Don "Douchebag" Henley (Not sure if that's an actual nickname, or one I just gave him. I'll have to get back with you.)....St. Mary's to the Final 4.

In the West, it's tough. Tom Petty is a steady force, but I'm not sure that he would know what to make of Pete Wentz's bass throwing antics, angst-filled lyrics, and rapid fire mouth. I kind of see him cringing up in fear. Sadly, and I apologize to DJ, I'm going to have to suggest taking Kansas State one step further. Rush, you technically sound nerds, you're put up against a band who is JUST AS technically sound, but just chooses to play *GASP*....in a style that people can actually take in without hating themselves. Easy up here, Syracuse. Fall Out Boy, Patrick Stump aside, will never be accused of being a well-oiled musical machine. Much like Kansas State on the court. Syracuse rolls to the Final 4.

The Midwest is EASY. Michigan State, much like Nirvana, you're pretty much dead, but you'll live on in the hearts of many. That just won't translate to the actually living (and recently reunited) excitement of Broken Social Scene. THE University of Northern Iowa, advancing. It's a clash of styles with the Replacements and the Beach Boys, but you take The Beach Boys. They're safe, not in the same annoying way that the Eagles are safe, but they're safe in the fact that you know you're getting high quality, every time. They may have some poor spots at times, but they'll get it done. The Replacements...well their poor spots ended up being the death of them, didn't it? Lastly, Northern Iowa, much like BSS, is energetic, fun, exciting, and skilled. But, they just don't have that polish like Brian Wilson, and certainly not like Evan Turner. Take Ohio State to the Final Four.

SO, as it stands, you should have (*because I'm obviously correct) St. Mary's vs. Kentucky, and Syracuse vs. Ohio State. We shall re-visit this next week. Enjoy the weekend. Root for Gus Johnson.

A Musical Guide To The Sweet 16. (Trust Me On This One.)

2010-03-24T15:30:00.003-04:00

Look, I get it. I'm in the same boat as you, I'm on your side. Unless you're this dude, your bracket fell under the wrath of Ali Forokhmanesh (we're facebook friends. Just sayin'.), and Lucas O'Rear. Who has the best pair of mutton chops I've ever seen another human possess, not only that, his name is definitely Lucas O'Rear. On top of those two gems, he ALSO has a hilarious clover tattoo. Plus, he generally plays out of control. And I like that. He's that dude that you play pickup against that you just KNOW is going to injure you.

So, if you're an avid sports fan like me, you've given up on your actual bracket, and just started seeing how many double entendres Billy Raftrey can get away with on air. (Referring to a ref kicking the ball as Villanova "getting a toe job" made me blush.)....and then I thought to myself. HOW? How can I somehow combine my love for music, with my love for sports? What a rare opportunity I have! This only comes along, what? 8-12 times a year? Well, this time, I'll probably take advantage of it...I guess. What will follow is a breaking down of the remaining 16 teams (in 2 parts, 8 teams at a time), by comparing them to what band they resemble in style, players, drug habits (?), and ultimately their chance to win it all. I think this will go better than my actual bracket. And CBS: LET GUS JOHNSON LIVE! Damn, can my man get a close game?

Off We Go:

EAST:

(12) Cornell: Ah, yes. Those smart ass Ivy League kids that you love to love, until you realize that hating them is so much easier. "Don't call us Cinderella, we're one of the best teams in the country"?? Seriously? Look, I get it, you guys are shooting lights out. You play as a team, you compile some great stuff, and everything is clicking....people are in love with your work....but there's always the fear that you're one step away from falling apart. Cornell, you are The Carpenters. A little underrated by being so straight laced, and playing by the rules. But there's also something about you that creeps people out, just a bit. Much like listening to Karen Carpenter's smooth, clean vocals, People don't turn on a Cornell game for excitement. You want the safe bet. Cornell, your insecurity leads you to go to extremes, which thankfully, haven't led to an eating disorder similar to Karen Carpenter's, but leads you to say things such as, "We're one of the best teams in the Country". You've got a couple of classics under your belt, Cornell. But may never be remembered as the best of all time.

(11) Washington: Well, well, well, Huskies. A little fast, aren't we? A little TOO fast? Coming out of a mediocre westcoast scene (ummm...the Pac-10 sucks), making an early splash? I like that. I'm a little worried that you may burn out too quickly, though. Washington....be proud to be Motley Crue. Nothing like having to prove yourself after you've clawed your way up through a west coast scene that was a competition to be the most average. And you did it with flair, no regard for ever slowing down, and probably a fair amount of hair product. It's not about quality with you, is it, Washington? it's about getting the most you can, as fast as you can get it. The hair metal mentality if I've ever seen it. And there's a good chance Lorenzo Romar is using SOMETHING. Keep living the dream, Washington. Until you hit a snag, catch some cases, and have to call it quits. I don't think the reunion will be as lucrative.

(2) West Virginia: I tread carefully here, as I know the Godfather of RHT, Shoe, is a fan, and friend of the great Bob Huggins. West Virginia, you're a group of guys who play smart, fundamental ball. And have a wildly unpredictable, but fiery and intelligent leader. This was a layup. You guys are The Who. You've got your star, but everyone plays their roles, and when you guys are on, you're as amazing to watch in person as anyone in the Nation. Plus, I could be reaching, but I simply think that Deniz Kilicli looks like Keith Moon. A little.

(1) Kentucky: Hot damn. Let's see. A bunch of young guys lured in by false promises, by a master mind manipulator who will stop at nothing to use their youth and talents to get to the top? Hello, Sex Pistols. Kentucky, you guys are too much, too young, too fast. I love watching John Wall sprint from end to end and launch himself into defenders just as much as I loved watching Johnny Rotten run from one edge of the stage to the other, screaming and leering at the fans. People won't notice that you young guns are just Coach Cal's latest quick fix to stay at the toppermost of the poppermost, much like Maclolm McLaren. But, that's alright. Patrick Patterson? you're kind of acting as Steve Jones and Paul Cook, all rolled into one. You're the older, wiser guy, who holds it all together, for as long as you can. Good luck. Jodie Meeks? yeah, you're Glen Matlock. The guy that got the hell out while the getting was good, and starred in the Rich Kids. Which, an NBA career will do for you, even if it is in Milwaukee. Instead of stabbing Nancy Spungen, and vanishing before overdosing in the Chelsea, let's see how many recruiting violations Coach Cal can rack up before overdosing on sanctions, and getting another fat contract at yet another national power. This may be your year, Kentucky, but it's going to be a wild ride.

SOUTH:

(10) Saint Mary's College: A few steady Australians keeping the beat of the team going, and a dominant guy up front? Psssh. You guys are AC/DC, easily. Mickey McConnell, you're the Phil Rudd of this whole thing. Steady when you need to be, playing easy, keeping the backbeat, but then you'll surprise us by banking home a money shot, right when your mates need it most. Aussie, Aussie, Aussie! Omar Samhan is the Brian Johnson of this bunch. Loud, brash, effective, and somewhat easy to enjoy, once you get used to how intense he is. Not a lot of creativity in this bunch, much like AC/DC...they keep it simple, they do what works, and they beat you over the head until you give in.

(4) Purdue: Losing your star is a bummer, and going through constant lineup changes to find out what works? never feels good. You know who can relate to that? Black Sabbath. Granted, Purdue isn't as dark as those guys, but Chris Kramer has been around forever, much like Tony Iommi, it's just that Kramer is far more annoying, and I've never wanted to punch Iommi. Once Robbie Hummel left the crew, languished to the bench, they struggled to find their identity. Like Ozzy leaving Sabbath. And yeah, they've had some good looks here and there, they'll stumble upon a surprising gem, much like "Headless Cross"...but you know that it's just not the same, they're well overrated, and they'll stumble far sooner than later. And eventually admit that they couldn't do it without their star.

(3) Baylor: I dislike Baylor. But, forget it. You guys are stylish, and from Texas, so you're ZZ Top. Deal with it. Get some beards, and GTFO of the tournament.

(1) Duke: Ah, the popular choice to hate, because they're too clean, too glossy, too white bread (no pun)....the kind of stuff your grandmother likes. Duke, you guys are The Eagles. With your straight laced hair cuts, and basic, unexciting play, everyone pretty much wants you to fail, except for people that like guys that don't take risks. You guys aren't even edgy enough to be Fleetwood Mac. I'm not advocating cocaine and inner turmoil, but let's face it, Duke. It wouldn't hurt the old excitement meter. You'll always be at the top of the charts, but we're all really rooting for you to fail. And Kyle Singler, I want to punch you as bad as I want to punch Don Henley for what he did to Stevie Nicks' solo career. He made it better. Like a jackass.

Tomorrow, we'll explore the remaining regions. Hopefully before the games start, but I'm not making any promises.

The Double Death Of Alex Chilton, The Replacements, And March Gladness.

2010-03-20T01:42:00.003-04:00

Alright, there's two parts to this whole thing.

First off, Alex Chilton has passed away. That makes the following points a bit dicey to touch on, but....lets. First of all, Big Star was amazing. Big Star deserves JUST as much credit as the Velvet Underground, because in their own way, they were the 70's version of that same thing. All, like, 20 people that bought "#1 Record" started a band. And a KILLER band. The first two Big Star albums (The other being "Radio City"), had great stuff all the way through. There's a point where you realize that every single song on both of those albums could be a radio single. Back before Big Star, I suppose that the Box Tops are, at worst, worth listening to. Chilton is a fantastic singer, a good songwriter, and a pretty clever, if not good, guitar player. But, after leaving Big Star, following those first two records, I get confused on how he got this insane cult following. I've read blog tributes to Chilton that are written by people who obviously have NEVER followed anything he did after Big Star, and just know that he was worshiped by the indie rock elite all through the 80's and 90's. During which time, he released a lot of poorly received solo work (outside of "High Priest", which is an album I just find to be fantastic.), but still...Chilton is seen as an artist that changed the course of indie rock. Through what? I'm not sure. Lou Reed doesn't get this much respect. Still, I won't dwell. I pray that he rests in peace, and I attempted to listen to Big Star records all day.

I did not listen to Big Star records all day. Moving on to the second part of this, The Replacements were by far one of the last honest rock bands we'll ever see. I was searching for a song to link as a tribute to Chilton, and I recalled that the Replacements had a song titled "Alex Chilton", which...unsurprisingly is about Alex Chilton. Normally, this would make me want to throw up. It's not tongue in cheek, or taking the piss out of Chilton, like when Glen Matlock wanted to call the first Rich Kids album "The Monkees Greatest Hits"....no, this is genuinely, literally a love song to Alex Chilton, who had the audacity to play on the record. It would reek of sucking up if it wasn't such a damn good song. And with that, I abandoned my musical Chilton tribute, bought some Replacements vinyl, and lived the dream. And of those guys that listened to the first few Big Star albums, and decided to start a band, Paul Westerberg and Bob Stinton were the best. A few weeks ago, in yet another ridiculous record store debate (I do love those so much...), the topic leaned towards who the best musician out of the Minnesota area was. And naturally, the room split between Prince, and Dylan (What? No love for Lang?? even Prince co-signed this kid when he was like 16....digress.), and The Replacements were not even considered by anyone in the discussion. Not entirely surprising, but, for me...they're one of the few bands that were just incredibly cool, AND made excellent music. And over a sustained period of time. The Velvets were cool, but only made GREAT music for a short time. The Strokes are cool, but they don't make great music. INXS was cool...maybe a little too cool, if you catch my drift? (OK, I swear that this isn't just me being in poor taste, but when I googled Michael Hutchence, this came up pretty early. Don't shoot the messenger?)...but no one had a run of albums like the Replacements WHILE being drop dead cool as hell. Here's a brief list of why the Replacements were cooler than you and anyone you know, unless you know Lou Reed:

1.) Tommy Stinson was seriously 12 when he joined the band. 12 year old bass player. Oh yeah.

2.) Their first album, "Sorry Ma, Forgot To Take Out The Trash" was like a half hour long. And it had 18 songs on it! No one does that anymore! Tegan and Sara came close ("The Con", with 14 tracks, clocked in at 38 minutes), but that wasn't a debut album. That's literally not caring if people take the time to listen to you or not, and I admire that.

3.) On any given night, Bob Stinson would play in a dress, if he felt like it.

4.) On some nights, he would play in even less, which is what got them kicked out of CBGB's in '83, at a major label showcase. Something the band obviously didn't care about.

5.) In the 1988 Winona Ryder classic, "Heathers", the high school in the film was named Westerberg High, after Paul Westerberg, who could have no doubt had Winona Ryder as a lover if he so chose.

The list could go on and on. About how every midwest band out now, like The Hold Steady, pays it's respects to the Replacements, the same way that The Replacements paid it to Big Star, and the same way that Big Star paid it to the Velvets. But, this is the coolest Replacements story I can think of ever reading/hearing.

So, I often think that oral histories are ridiculous self-serving circle jerks that are hardly ever worth reading. There are two exceptions to this rule: The AMAZING oral history of american punk rock, "Please Kill Me", in which Richard Hell is easily at his best, and Wayne/Jayne County tells a story of a drag queen fight at CBGB's that will have you in stitches. Buy that book. And then there's "All Over But The Shouting" , the oral history of the Replacements, put together by the great Jim Walsh. There's a story in there, that I'd heard before, but it's always excellent. In short, When The Replacements got a major label deal, and left Twin/Tone records for Sire records, after the release of "Let It Be" in '84, they were told that they couldn't have their master recordings, that they belonged to the label. Not being wise to label politics, or not at all giving a shit, Tommy Stinson decided that if THEY couldn't have their own masters, NO ONE should have them. So, ever the charmer, Tommy waltzed into the Twin/Tone offices, made small talk with the secretary, who let him go back into (manager) Peter Jesperson's office, despite Jesperson not being there. Tommy located the master recordings, boxed them up, walked out of the office with a smile, and then proceeded to throw all of the recordings into Lake Superior.

Take that in. There's only a few pure rock n' roll moves these days, it's the last of 'em I'll tell ya. You ain't gettin' any kids bronzing guitars these days just for the hell of it, and you SURE as hell ain't going to get anyone throwing their masters into a large body of water. 'Cause that's MONEY, right? I remember watching an interview with Pete Wentz where he was talking about getting the Fall Out Boy masters and throwing them into the Chicago river, but he was too nervous. Pssh. I've got no clue what the price tag would be for the master recordings of those first 4 Replacements records, but Stinson didn't care. He was standing up for what was RIGHT, not legally, of course, but hell yes, you know? That's a killer rock n' roll move, and I DEFINITELY want a baby that looks like that. These so-called rock stars today could take notes. I'm not talkin' recklessness for the sake of it. Do it with a PURPOSE. The Replacements got it.

There's some tragedy there, as well. They went on about 2 albums too long, they kicked Bob Stinson out of the band when his drug habit got too bad, and his own little brother had to do it, no less. And Bob Stinson died before 40, literally because his body just couldn't take being alive anymore. No overdose, no romanticized suicide...his body literally just gave up. I can't imagine the hard living that you'd have to do to have that happen. Still, what greatness doesn't have tragedy attached to it, right?

So, here's to Alex Chilton, the greatest band he inspired, spring being here, and Anne Hathaway still being the hottest woman alive.

Sex As A Weapon (The Runaways, And Bringing A Knife To A Gun Fight).

2010-03-14T22:26:00.006-04:00

A few days ago, I had a discussion with my friend, Tracy. As best recalled, it went something like this:

"Tracy, no one bought their records!"

"No one bought the Velvet Underground's records...."

"True, but the Velvet Underground doesn't have a proper film made in their honor"

"Yeah, but they should, right?"

"Definitely."

"Oh, but Nif...no one bought their records...right?"

This discussion stemmed from my distaste for the buzz that The Runaways film is getting. In an act of self righteousness, I turned down a free pass to an advance screening of the film, and then proceeded to find every outlet possible to back my decision to do so, despite no one caring, by vocalizing the fact that this band having a movie made about them is an outright travesty.

The thing is this, I'm probably not a sexist. If anything, on my most genuine of days, I'm more of a feminist than anything. And I'm not talking the liberal guilt drenched male feminist, who throws some money at a few causes so that I can sleep at night, while ignoring the fact that my wife/girlfriend is conforming to the gender roles that I should be working to break down. I mean, don't get me wrong, I'm not a chest thumping feminist in the way that Ani DiFranco is. But, if you're aligning my beliefs, I'm there. I say that to say this...don't be misguided by my distaste for the making of this film, and think that it has to do with women in rock getting recognition. It also needs to be taken with a grain of salt, because I wasn't alive in 1975, no matter how much I wanted to be. That said, I'm confident in two things, and two things only: 1.) That I made an OUTSTANDING Jules Winnfield this past Halloween, and 2.) That I know a little bit about music. I don't spend time debating pointless shit in record shops while scouring for b-sides that don't matter just because it's cool. (I know it IS kind of cool, but that's besides the point.)...I kind of know my stuff.

So, my point is this, I don't even care that much that The Runaways were crap musicians. I kind of don't even care that no one bought their records, or that they never had anything other than probably a marginal album (Queens Of Noise), and a sub-marginal hit, that at best was of minor aesthetic importance ("Cherry Bomb") None of those things, standing alone, bother me....my problem is that they're not standing alone. And this entire film, all that I know of their career, and everything else behind the band...it was never about music. Look, in a perfect world, for me, sex wouldn't sell a damn thing. You would get by off of the merits of your ability. But, I've come to understand that sex DOES sell, moreover, I understand WHY it sells. And it's why we had Britney Spears dressed as a schoolgirl before her first album even came out, why Madonna is still relevant (sometimes), and why in 1975, it made sense to sign 5 teenage girls, playing music in a male dominated genre, doll them up a bit, strip them down a lot, and throw them on stage in front of a bunch of male fans. It's no more of a gimmick than the Sex Pistols were. (Ironically, Pistols Steve Jones and Paul Cook did production work on Joan Jett's first solo record.) And the Pistols were possibly just as dumb of a gimmick, but man, at least they sold RECORDS, right? The Pistols were a well managed gimmick, the Runaways? I mean, I'll take Malcom McLaren over Kim Fowley any day of the week. And I'm saying all of this kind of loving, or at worst respecting, the parts of this thing. Joan Jett is a major...MAJOR badass. I love her solo stuff, I love her indie spirit, carving out her own label when no one else would sign her. I at least LIKE Lita Ford sometimes, and I even own a shirt with Micki Steele on it....of course it's a Bangles shirt (Steele joined the Bangles after leaving the Runaways), which I mostly own because Susanna Hoffs is on it, and she's good looking. (I mean, I hope that my pointing out the obvious doesn't fall in line with objectifying this marginal musician. I'm not sexist, take 2.)...but I can't look at the career of a band that was signed as a gimmick, and then only lasted REALLY about 3 years as something film-worthy. Not when they didn't make mainstream impact. Not when the highest they ever made it on the charts was (ready?) #172. Not when their bass player was so bad, that Nigel Harrison (from Blondie) had to play the bass parts on the first 2 records. Not when I watch videos of them now, and I see Cherie Currie writhing around on stage, not really singing, but moaning, while wearing lingerie. Then it's not about music, it's not about impact, it's about sex, and milking these 16 and 17 year olds for all of it. And that's not cool, it's not right, and I thank God that they wised up, or at least Currie and Jett did, and got out of that deal.

Tracy, she of the argument that this movie is perfectly warranted, insisted that I read the book Neon Angels, which is the Cherie Currie's book that this film is loosely based off of. I actually have owned it since 2007, so I did read it. And it read like every live fast, die young rock story I've ever read. Except it made me sadder. Because these were girls that were taken advantage of, by just disgraceful industry men, when they really thought they were taking the world by storm. So, in essence, they were taken down by the very thing they were marketed to be rebelling against. And now we've got Kristen Stewart and Dakota Fanning playing this out on the big screen, and I can't help but feel like people are going to miss the point.

Plus, I mean, if we're making movies about bands that didn't sell shit, why NOT The Velvets? Am I that wrong in that?

(I could very well be horribly wrong on all of this. I must state again, that I wasn't born in 1975.)

The Notorious Epiphany.

2010-03-09T22:37:00.004-05:00

The Notorious B.I.G. died 13 years ago today. Or, rather, was killed 13 years ago today. March 9th, 1997 was a Saturday. Something I know because I would have had no other reason to NOT be at school at the hour I found out. I used to get up and watch shows on Saturday morning.....the shows where you're growing out of the Saturday morning cartoon phase, and watching shows filled with teen drama to kick off my weekend. Your "Saved By The Bell", your "Hang Time", your "X-Men" (to some extent...)....and occasionally, I'd turn to MTV. I'm dating myself, lest anyone think that I look good for my age, but I used to watch MTV because this was back when MTV used to do crazy shit. Like play music videos. On this morning, though, upon turning there, I was greeted with the cracking voice of Kurt Loder. Telling me that just hours earlier, Christopher Wallace had died from gunshot wounds suffered when a car pulled up next to the car that was carrying him, and opened fire. By that time, I was joined by my older brother, who had broken the news to me just 6 months earlier that Tupac had died. We just kind of sat. Watched video. They showed Brooklyn, the masses of Bed-Stuy, mourning it's fallen son. I don't remember what I felt. I do remember that I DIDN'T feel in any way frustrated by the violence, or bitter at the tone of the genre that spawned it, and I probably should have.

Listen, this was going to be some kind of memorial piece to BIG, I swear the hand that writes this to God, it had all the makings. But, it's been a funny week. I was in D.C. last week, at which point, the most highly anticipated first single in rap's recent memory came out. Drake, the would-be biggest of the next big things, Degrassi Community School alum, and Canadian foreign exchange student, released "Over", the first single off of the much, much hyped debut album "Thank Me Later" slated for a late March release. It was scheduled to drop sometime on Wednesday. However, on Tuesday, I was sitting with my dear friend Carmen, a skilled writer who has hip hop knowledge to rival my own, feminist leanings, a witty tongue, and hair like silk. (Last point irrelevant, of course.) Carmen checks her email, turns to me, and says "...Hey, I got the Drake single...." After getting over my bitterness over not getting it first (I mean, I'm not placing blame, but the homie Woods dropped the ball. He dropped a gym bag full of them. Digress.), we settled into critical mode, and listened. With it's swelling strings, and infectious, though a bit silly, hook (I mean, the song opens with the lines "I know way too many people here right now that I didn't know last year/who the f**k are ya'll...."), I declared the song decent, and at worst, serviceable as a first single. Carmen sat for a bit after the song was over, ran her hands through her hair, sighed deeply, and simply said, "I don't know, Nif". We moved on.

I spoke with her today. She told me that yeah, the song was fine. She is disheartened, though, by the fact that Drake seems to overuse the term "bitches" so frequently to describe women. She thought he would be different. He's intelligent, well spoken, from the suburbs, claims to love the women in his life...it doesn't make sense, she says. She thinks it's forced, and that's NOT ok. If it's organic misogyny, she can kind of stomach it, but not when it's a kid that knows better, keeping a negative trend going. She knows that she's a hip hop critic AND a feminist, so she's pulling double duty, and getting shitty pay from both sides.

And all the time she spoke, I was simply shocked that she even HAD to say this to me. That I'd somehow become so desensitized that I hadn't considered that an educated woman would hold this opinion. And this isn't Drake's fault, moreover, this isn't really about Drake. He's the great half-white hope, hip hop's own Barack, and I'm on board with it. I get it. But I worry.

Biggie is in my top 5 MCs of all time. Perched proudly at 3, he's stayed there for over a decade, because I refuse to restructure my list (despite that Jay-Z isn't in my top 5, yet Slick Rick still sits at 4. It's a stubborn thing, I'm not going through the work. Get over it.) But as it stands, I don't listen to much BIG these days. Partly because I truly believe in legends resting in piece. But, another part of me simply can't listen. Because my conscience won't shut up. It questions the content so much that I can't nod my head to songs like "Niggas Bleed" and "What's Beef" any more. Not when I've had two friends buried this year, and countless fall victim to senseless violence that has plagued the streets where I used to walk down as a 12 year old, with Biggie in my headphones. Not anymore. I know any art, ANY entertainment, can be violent. But where is the line, and where is the clear drawing of it? When I hear Biggie now, it's a level of darkness that I'm not sure I can go to. I hear not just murder, but torture, kidnapping children, killing women...and I think not to me, but to the 15 year old, fatherless or motherless, that may be misguided by people like me telling him he HAS to listen to Biggie's flow, because, hell...he could be the greatest EVER. And it's a macho act, I know that. Hip hop has always been a masculine exercise, no disrespect to Latifah, Salt, Pepa, Spin, MC Lyte, my dear friend Carmen, or any of the other women who love and stand behind the Genre. But, from the minute shirts came off, it's been about being the best, biggest man. But, as I grow older, and my idea of masculinity changes....I think, do MCs like Biggie have it all wrong?

I suppose I don't know what I'm saying here, what I'm trying to get across. Except this. Listen, no one wants this, most of all me...but there's a very, very real possibility that I'm going to have a child one day. And I'm sitting today, and thinking of my parents shielding me from most hip hop music as a child (save some Arrested Development, Tribe, and De La Soul), but I remember me STILL getting my hands on The Chronic the day it came out, and listening to it, all through school. I was 9. Sure, that's a romantic story for hip hop lovers, we've all had those moments. And I turned out moderately fine. But do I want MY son or daughter in that garden of eden? not exactly. I don't exactly want my son to hear that kidnapping a child and throwing it off of a bridge is a good form of revenge. Not sure that I want my daughter dancing to a song that tells her that she's only good as a sexual object, and if not, she's worthless. And THIS is what I hear when I listen to Biggie now. Not all of the time, but some of the time. Over half of the time, at least, and isn't that more than enough?

I'm not angry at hip-hop, don't get me wrong. I love it, God knows I love it. More than I've loved at least 2 of the girls I've dated. It's gotten far better, I think, or the optimist in me thinks. People complain about the use of the "N" word in the music. I roll my eyes and worry about the bigger fish to fry. I want hip hop artists respecting and honoring women. I want the genre to not be as homophobic. I'm all for street reporting, and street tales, because it was built in the streets, and it should stay there, and people need to know what the hell is going on. T.I. NEEDS to make the music he makes, and when he gets too caught up and tries to live the life, he NEEDS to pay the consequences. Clipse, they need to exist. If people see past the cocaine flow, they'll hear some truly heartbreaking stories about the conditions of the inner cities in America. THIS is where rap has come, and I'm happy for that, I just want it to do better. So that Drake doesn't have to overuse "Bitch" to fit in. That's a slippery slope.

I DO miss Biggie. His pacing, his rhyme structure, his delivery, his ability to weave a story, that voice....he may have been the perfect MC had he lived a bit longer. His party jams were better than any party jams. He was sweet, endearing, self deprecating ("Black, and ugly as ever")...and Hip Hop could have used his growth. It needed his growth. I do miss him, though. I wish I had a new B.I.G. album to play right now. Because I'm having the toughest time listening to the old ones.

The Notorious B.I.G. was killed 13 years ago today. And a kid sat and watched the news, unmoved. 13 years later, that same kid is going to put in the "One More Chance" remix, and be moved by how far hip hop has come. And how far it still has to go.

What Is The Most Iconic Guitar Of All Time?

2010-02-07T18:05:00.004-05:00

What is the most iconic guitar of all time? Not just the greatest guitar "player," the greatest guitar period. Now, we're not just showing off brand loyalties or anything of the such, we're looking for personality embodied in the instrument itself. These instruments have become synonymous with their player, or with a song, or maybe even a sound or period of rock history. More often than not, these guitars have a pet name, a special place next to their masters, and have been modified and customized to the point they're unrecognizable to their original manufacturer. They've been broken, painted, written upon, written about, envied, copied, and more than anything become part of who the guitarist is as a musician. They provide that perfect tone, that twang, that instantly recognizable growl that separates the original from all impostors. Some guitarists have parted ways with their axes, much like a spouse or loved one. Some guitars have parted ways with their masters due to tragedy and untimely death, but remain in posterity as a memorial of what the two achieved together.

Below is a list I came up with on my own what I consider to be the most iconic guitars of all time. Again, these are just the guitars that made rock & roll history...not the greatest guitarists (although one can make a direct correlation in some circumstances). For instance two iconic players that did not make the list (Jimi Hendrix & Pete Townshend) rarely kept a guitar around long enough to develop that kind of relationship. What I'm looking for is an inseparable partnership that developed rock & roll into what we know today. Take a gander, give me your comments, a take a minute to vote for your favorite. Hope you enjoy...these are by no means ranked in any order!

1. The Gibson Les Paul. Developed by Gibson & the late Les Paul as the answer to the Fender Telecaster in 1951. Preferably plugged into a stack of Marshall amplifiers, this guitar has gone on to be the weapon of choice of greats such as Jimmy Page, Billy Gibbons (Pearly Gates), and Slash. Instantly recognizable, the Les Paul has evolved from its original prototype as "The Log" into a work of beauty and class. However, there was only one "Les Paul," which he played until the day he died.

2. Bruce Springsteen's Fender Telecaster Esquire. What a beating this guitar has taken over the past 30-plus years! Present for every performance the Boss has made with the E-Street band, and a cover shot on the Born to Run album, this guitar has become synonymous with "The Boss."

3. Eric Clapton's Fender Stratocaster, "Blackie." In the late '60s, Eric Clapton personally combined the best elements of three vintage Stratocaster guitars to create the original Blackie. Clapton's albums 461 Ocean Boulevard, Slowhand, No Reason to Cry, and Just One Night, among others, were all recorded with this mistress. Clapton auctioned the original in 2004 to fund his Crossroads Center in Antigua for $959,000.

4. The Gibson EDS-1275 Double Neck. I'm combining this particular model into one entry, because the same model was played by two different guitarist on two of the most iconic guitar-rock epics of all-time: Jimmy Page on "Stairway To Heaven" and Don Felder on "Hotel California." You can't envision either song being played live unless it's on the EDS-1275, plain and simple.

5. Joe Strummer's Fender Telecaster. A 1966 model originally in a sunburst orange finish, Strummer acquired the guitar in 1975 shortly before joining The Clash. He painted it with gray auto primer and black paint, adorned it with a stencil of the word "NOISE" and multiple stickers over the years including the famous "Ignore Alien Orders." What gave it the most personality, however, was the way the crude finish Strummer applied wore off over time and the sunburst began to reappear. By the time of Strummer's death in 2002 his Telecaster looked less like a rag-tag musical instrument and more like an auto-biographical art piece. I just fell in love with this guitar on my last visit to the Rock & Roll Hall of Fame; it was completely mesmerizing to try and peek through the layers of time.

6. B.B. King's signature Gibson, "Lucille." A variation of the ES-355, Gibson launched King's signature model in 1982. According to Kings's biography, in the winter of 1949, King played at a dance hall in Twist, Arkansas. In order to heat the hall, a barrel half-filled with kerosene was lit, a fairly common practice at the time. During a performance, two men began to fight, knocking over the burning barrel and sending burning fuel across the floor. The hall burst into flames, which triggered an evacuation. Once outside, King realized that he had left his guitar inside the burning building. He entered the blaze to retrieve his beloved $30 guitar, a Gibson acoustic. Two people died in the fire. The next day, King learned that the two men were fighting over a woman named Lucille. King named that first guitar Lucille, as well as every one he owned since that near-fatal experience, as a reminder never again to do something as stupid as run into a burning building or fight over women.

7. Stevie Ray Vaughan's customized Fender Stratocaster, "Number One." A 1963 model with a 1962 neck, also known as "The First Wife," she sure did take her fair share of abuse. Stevie would kick it, pound it, bounce it, ride it like surfboard, swing it around by the tremolo...then turn around and pour all his love into it. He replaced the tremolo, using a left-handed one and turning it upside down to be like Hendrix. He replaced the pickups with those from a bass. the neck was damaged so many times it would eventually not take new frets. But, oh my Lord would it still scream for Stevie Ray! Number One has been in the possession of Stevie's brother Jimmie since his death in 1990.

8. The Rickenbacker 360/12 Twelve String. Once again, I cannot pin this guitar to just one player, so rich is the history. Developed in 1963, George Harrison obtained one of the original prototypes on the Beatles' first visit to the U.S. in 1964. Many of the Fab 4's early, biggest hits were written & performed on the 360/12, and was brought out of retirement for Harrison's comeback album Cloud Nine in 1987. Other players of the Rickenbacker 360/12 would soon favor the modified 370/12 (which had three pickups instead of the 360/12's two) - most notably The Byrd's Roger McGuinn and his disciples Tom Petty & fellow Heartbreaker Mike Campbell, who undoubtedly favored the new, "jangly" sound that would sweep the charts. The Rickenbacker twelve string will always be Harrison's equipment first and foremost though, given he used it from day one.

9. Eddie Van Halen's custom Charvel, "Frankenstrat." An amalgamation of pieces & parts picked up from Wayne Charvel and with a wicked paint job to match, The Frankenstrat truly embodies its nickname. Most notably, Van Halen installed a humbucker in the bridge position, giving it the "Fat Strat" configuration. Not many guitarists have a patent on a guitar's paint scheme, but EVH does and took the Krylon-crafted Frankenstrat design with him to Kramer who began to make guitars for Eddie in 1983.

10. The Jackson Rhoads V. Also known as the Concorde, this guitar is complicated to say the least. It is unabashedly a copy of Gibson's Flying V, which by the time Randy Rhoads had commissioned his version from Charvel was the standard in heavy metal guitars. To further muck up the situation, Charvel president Grover Jackson decided to put his name on the neck as a kiss-off to Charvel founder Wayne Charvel, who had left the company he founded in disgust in 1978. Rhodes made a few design variations, most notably the visual polka-dot design which Rhoads would become identified by once he began playing for Ozzy Osbourne. Randy lived to see 2 models come to fruition, but was unable to provide feedback on a third which was being developed at the time of his death in 1982.

The Lomax Effect on Modern Music

2010-01-19T12:54:00.005-05:00

Some of you loyal readers may have taken note as of late the inclusion of dates naming John and Alan Lomax in RHT's "Today In Rock History" and their relationship with blues legends such as Leadbelly and Muddy Waters in the early 20th century. I've taken a great interest in uncovering exactly who these gentlemen were, and why they are of great import. What I've come up with is more questions than answers, however.

John Lomax, and his son Alan were preservationists of American folk music, first and foremost. John Lomax, a Texan, was particularly interested in cowboy songs but through a relationship with a black man early in life also had a curiosity in the folk songs of that culture as well. During The Great Depression, being an unemployed banker & former professor sought funding from the U.S. government to pursue his dream of cataloging American folk music. Whether or not his obsession was born out of a need to preserve American folk songs or repudiate claims of European scholars that all folk traditions are born of experiences passed down from the "motherland" and not learned from current situation is debatable. Lomax's son Alan would soon join his father as they were funded by the Library of Congress to record and catalog the music of the South, most notably that of Black America. During their travels, it is well documented their relationship with the legendary Leadbelly, whom they "discovered" at Angola Prison in Louisiana. The Lomaxes would make countless recordings of soon to be revered names such as Jelly Roll Morton, Woody Guthrie, Muddy Waters, etc.

It is troublesome as you read more into what the Lomaxes accomplished that while their intentions were good, somewhere they may have strayed from their mission in some respects, especially John Lomax. His relationship with Leadbelly became somewhat a travelling circus & side show, something I'm sure Lomax regretted in hindsight as he had become Leadbelly's "manager" and took him out on tour. Also, as earlier stated it is really unclear what the "end goal" was of the Lomax's odyssey. Was it solely to preserve or to prove a point that American folk music was born in America as a result of the trials & tribulations of everyday life? It is for certain that they were more in depth & thorough than anyone ever before their time in seeking out the roots of American music. It is also certain that Alan Lomax had the foresight to recognize their findings were the source of Rock & Roll music that was to take over not only America, but the world. An avenue also interesting to explore would be the rise of "protest songs" in the early 20th century and the Lomax's relationship with the genre. There were strong ties to Woody Guthrie & Pete Seeger, and Alan Lomax was investigated quite a lot by the FBI and J. Edgar Hoover for his "leftist" views and relationships.

Also confusing is the lack "preservation" of the Lomax works. Neither has been inducted into the Rock & Roll Hall of Fame, although Alan Lomax did receive the National Medal of Arts from President Reagan in 1986 and a Grammy Trustees Award for lifetime achievement in 2003. John and Alan Lomax are indeed an enigma, and I'm hopeful more will come out on their studies in the future. It would make for an intriguing motion picture on it's own, even though some of the selections from O! Brother Where Art Thou? were Lomax folk findings.

If you are interested in reading more on the subject, instead of my ramblings, I suggest you read this article I found which does the topic far more justice than I ever could: Our Singing Country: John and Alan Lomax, Leadbelly, and The Construction of an American Past by Benjamin Filene, 1991.

Breaking Down the Class of 2010

2009-12-16T22:12:00.004-05:00

Well, the announcements have been made. No Rush. No Journey. No Stevie Ray Vaughan. But we got ABBA in The Rock & Roll Hall Of Fame!!! Alright, simmer down. At least the rest of the choices were good. Joining ABBA is The Stooges, Genesis, The Hollies, & Jimmy Cliff. A solid case can be made for each. Well, I'll get to that...

First off, we'll forgive that The Stooges hail from Ann Arbor, MI. That being said, The Stooges basically were to the hippie movement what Nirvana was to hair bands. They basically spat at the notion of an idyllic world of flowers, beads, peace & love. They saw the world for what it really was - one full of disappointment, hurt, and rage during the late 1960's. They didn't live in a dream, the lived in the now. Spawning classics like "No Fun," "1969," and "I Wanna Be Your Dog," The Stooges became the model for what would become punk. There is no other more iconic persona for the pre-punk era than Iggy Pop, hands down.

Genesis is an interesting group that I've learned to appreciate, especially the early Phil Collins stuff like "Abacab" and "Turn It On." Initially finding success with Peter Gabriel on lead vocals as an art/prog band with classics like "The Lamb Lies Down On Broadway," Genesis really came into their own after Gabriel left in 1975, and drummer Phil Collins took over on vocals. The group always has had a tightly produced sound, with guitarist Mike Rutherford & keyboardist Tony Banks rounding out the "Genesis" style. I'm not really a fan of the "MTV-era" Genesis, although they did make some great videos like "Land Of Confusion." Should at least make for an entertaining look-see with Phil Collins & Peter Gabriel on stage at the induction ceremony.

As a member of "The British Invasion," The Hollies were somewhat less popular in the States than their English counterparts, but no less talented and perhaps the most accomplished vocally. Even though The Hollies did chart quite as often in the U.S. as they did in the U.K. , they never had a Number #1 song in America. Classics like "Bus Stop," "Carrie Anne," and "Stop! Stop! Stop!" all hit the Top 10 during the Graham Nash era, which came to an end in 1968 with his departure & formation of Crosby, Stills, & Nash. Lead vocalist Allan Clarke remained and The Hollies reached #2 in 1972 with an all-time favorite of mine, "Long Cool Woman (In A Black Dress)." Ironically, Clarke left the group after recording the song in 1971, but did an about-face after learning of the song's success & rejoined The Hollies in 1972.

It is hard to say that Bob Marley followed anyone's lead, especially in reggae music, but follow Jimmy Cliff and capitalize on his success is what he did indeed. While I'm not as up to speed as I should be on my reggae, at least I and everyone else knows Jimmy Cliff, and I was surprised that he wasn't already in the RRHOF, actually. He differs from Marley in that his vocals & style takes on an almost lamenting, gospel feel; whereas Marley & The Wailers had a more confrontational, brute force in their delivery. Cliff is perhaps most famous for his role in and soundtrack for the 1972 movie The Harder They Come, which popularized reggae all over the world. Cliff's work has been covered enumerous times, especially "Many Rivers To Cross." Cliff became popular with a younger, wider audience in the 1990's with soundtrack work, including a cover of Johnny Nash's "I Can See Clearly Now" from the film Cool Runnings, and "Hakuna Matata" from The Lion King.

And then there's ABBA. Forgive me, but even though I had a crush on Agnetha when I was a kid and they remain a guilty pleasure of mine thanks to my parents' upbringing, I can still boldly say they do not belong in the RRHOF. Sorry, I may sound cruel but they are way too "poppy" for this crowd. Even though for a period in the mid-seventies they were a worldwide phenomenon, the music was not all that great either. It was what it was. "Dancing Queen," "Waterloo" and "Fernando" are now enshrined with "Blowin' In The Wind" and "Atlantic City," folks...deal with it. "S.O.S." was a good enough song, but I'm thinking this induction was purely an apologetic gesture to the Swedish people, since Tiger Woods has been such a dick to Elin and all. I dunno maybe I'm the delusional one here?

10 Things That Made Popular Music Better In 2009, Part II. (Or, Taking Suggestions From Girlfriends.)

2009-12-10T21:00:00.002-05:00

Ah, so here we have it. The toppermost of the poppermost. Somewhat. I talked to the only 3 friends that I have today (I actually only have 1 friend, and I just found two random people on Facebook to (s)talk to.), and they all agreed on one thing: Music in 2009? slump. How could I even argue that there were 10 great things in anything in music this year? Well, because I'm a supreme bullshitter. And one that loves music. But I also believe my own bullshit, so I buy everything I write. And let's be clear, I could squeeze TWENTY things that made music great out of 2009. And I can hopefully make the more cynical understand that yeah, this year was a bit of a downer after a fantastic 2008, but man. The good? It was fantastic.

The top 5 things that made music a wonderful place to be in 2009.....

5.) The Blackroc Project: No, You're Not The Only One That Didn't Think It Would Work. - First off, Akron is the third greatest place in Ohio, next to Columbus and Tiffin (Yeah. Tiffin. What up, Jolly's root beer?), so that means that in my mind, Akron is the third greatest place in the world. Even before the Black Keys decided do turn the lights out on '08 with the KILLER album Attack & Release, Akron birthed Chrissie Hynde, Devo, John Lithgow, and my buddy Steve. So I loved it. That said, I was a bit shocked, and mostly confused, when I read that the Keys were hooking up with Dame Dash and Jim Jones to record a collaboration, I was all like, "Dude...." I mean, we're talking about The Black Keys, right? And we're talking the same Jim Jones who thought THIS song was a good idea to leave the cutting floor??? (seriously, take in how ridiculous that video is for a second. I don't drink, but I just see all of that as an EPIC waste of alcohol. Tiger Woods' wife could be using that.) Plus, look, I'm no prude. But I don't want your rock in my hip-hop anymore. And I DEFINITELY don't want your hip hop in my rock. That never works, and no amount of Limp Bizkit records could suggest otherwise. But this worked. It worked fantastically, and see, I'm an idealist. I have a Martin King-esque dream that one day, there'll only be one genre, so that we can get away from generalizations, negative stigmas, and REALLY get back to music. Now, I know this Itunes generation won't let this happen, but this is a step. And it's not a joke, like T-Pain mashing up with Taylor Swift, this is seriously good music. I had people that never even LIKED rap come up to me and tell me they loved this record, and where oh where could they get a copy of the last Mos Def album? Look at what this does. We're using music to break down barriers, and I'll spare you the "music can save the world" crap, but don't underestimate how the quality of this record helps everyone. When you take people out of a musical comfort zone, and convince them that there's good to be had in other mediums....you've done well.

4.) Mixtapes: Not The Ones That YOU'RE Making. The Ones That THEY'RE Making. - I'm not into mixtapes, let me say that right now. I usually don't want to hear throw away rhymes over recycled beats, it's that simple. But what Drake did with February's So Far Gone was unheard of. Unsigned artists don't release mixtapes that get so much buzz that they not only get said artists signed, but then get the mixtape re-released as an ALBUM? and the record was that good, look, Drake is the future. Whether that's immediate, or it will take time and the downfall of some of the larger rappers on the food chain, Drake is the future. And I didn't want to cop to that at first, mostly because, well.....Drake was in Degrassi. And while shit got real on Degrassi, I didn't buy him crossing over from Canada to America so smoothly. But after the mixtape, he crushed any doubt, sparked a (albeit pretty inexpensive...) bidding war, and had a deal by summer. So, rappers stepped up the mixtape game. Gucci Mane got out of jail just in time to release what seemed like 12 mixtapes this year before going right back to jail (Though I'm not a fan, it must be commended.) Young Dro and Lupe Fiasco put out mixtapes that were two of my favorite of the year, and the would-be mixtape king, Lil' Wayne released the best effort since Da Drought 3 with the somewhat scattered No Ceilings. Even rock artists considered the mixtape game, and after this, how could they not? As long as mixtapes are used properly, and don't become avenues to use your best lyrics to get street appeal, it's perfect for building anticipation for a release. Can I not wait to hear Lupe's new album now even more? You bet. He's aiming to release another one on Christmas. Joy to the world.

3.) Animal Collective Are Probably The New Beatles: Thank Goodness You All Are Finally Taking Notice. - My feelings on Merriweather Post Pavilion aside, it served as the light bulb album for the music listening public. It's got the sound of Brian Wilson trying to be Paul McCartney, and if you think that's unintentional, then you're not paying attention. I want a band that's shamelessly trying to be OUR beatles. Yeah, your generation had Beatlemania, and I'm really happy for you (resisted the urge to type "And I'mma let you finish" right after that. I know I just typed it there, but that was more for informational purposes, and not to capitalize on that worn out gag.), but we don't need it. What WE need is a band that listened to Beatle records over and over and isn't ashamed to blueprint their sound. Yeah, I know the Panic at the Disco guys gave it a good run, but they're over, and Animal Collective does it far better. This is everything. This is psychedelic folk, straightforward rock, bubblegum, fun for the kids, scary for the parents, makeout music, save the world music, and Idon'talwaysgetitbutdon'tstopmenow 'cause I'm on a roll and these guys are fucking geniuses. Period. They're not going to have the world in the palms of their hands like the Fabs, but they probably don't want that. They'll never be bigger than Jesus, but if you listen close enough, you might find him in their music anyway. And I love the Gaslight Anthem more than them, but so what? I love Springsteen more than the Beatles. This is no longer about what I love, it's about what blows my mind enough to make me feel good about where music is right now. And if these dudes want to shamelessly rip off the Fabs, then do it, and screw all that tell you it's not worth it. Merriweather is the best pure pop record America has produced in some time. And that's all we've ever wanted.

2.) Clipse : Virginia's Cocaine Kings Get Humble, Get Remorseful, And Save Rap. Again. - There has maybe never been a more critically acclaimed rap group than Clipse. The Thornton brothers have released 3 albums, all 3 have been lauded by everyone....EVERYONE in the press. I mean, Christgau LOVES these guys. So why have they never even gotten so much as a grammy nod? Why are they not world famous? Here's the thing. To say that they're gritty....well, that's an understatement. Christgau said it best when he said, "The way they paint it, music is just pocket money to them...", they're no secret to the lucrative life of drug dealing, and unlike Jay-Z's drug dealer made good, they spent their first two albums playing the drug dealer gone into reality, not liking it, and fighting with getting the life back. These dudes? they're raps Lou Reed. But grimier. Yeah, even more street, even MORE grimy than describing a heroin trip. They're not talking about taking a needle and putting it in you, shit, they're not even talking about taking a BULLET and putting it in you. They're talking about taking a PRODUCT and putting it in you, and your community, and tearing everything down for the almighty dollar. And not being remorseful for it. Did I condone the content? No, but I, and every other critic worth their salt, loved the honesty, the feeling of needing a shower after hearing one of their albums. And then the life caught up to them. Their friend and ex-manager was arrested, and charged with leading a $10 million drug ring, tearing Virginia's streets apart, and getting some more of the duo's peers put away for a long time. So we catch up with the Clipse guys on the release of this month's Til The Casket Drops expecting more horror story lyrics about the violence and greed of the drug underworld. But what we get instead? Guilt, remorse, honesty. In the first track, "Freedom", Pusha T spits, "I guess I don't feel nothin'/I've been numbed by the will to gain", and his brother Malice has some regrets of his own...."How was I to know, I was happier when I was piss poor....", and after the end of the guitar drenched track, Pusha yells. Oh, does he yell. "What more do you want from us??? We lost love, we lost family behind this shit!!! what you call music, we call life! DO I ENTERTAIN YOU MOTHERFUCKER?!?!?! WELL DANCE, THEN!!". And normally, I'd cast off such rap bravado as annoying posturing. But you can hear something in his voice. This isn't "my Dad can beat up your Dad"....this is "Wow....we're deep into this, and look at what we've done, and I'm a fucking mess, because I don't know how to make any of this right". Rap has been void of this kind of honesty for a long time. And yeah, there's stuff like "Doorman" where it's boasted, "Cocaine bought me everything I ever had", and you roll your eyes a bit, but it's so few and far between. This is the sound of a group coming to terms with life after going through their version of hell. All 13 tracks are a release of anger, you can hear the tension, the frustration...no, the unbridled rage, at one point Malice growls out the line, "I miss my man, I hope those snitches burn in hell"....and you believe it.

Look, I'll never condone the content, but I'll take the passion. They've got it in spades. No one in rap has done what they've done. And with this album, they're finally getting it. Anyone can be the king of the streets if they're on the right block. But when that crown gets heavy, and boy, it gets heavy....do you take it off? Or do you lighten your burden by taking some of the weight (literally and figuratively in this case) off of you, and put it behind you? Having the courage to do the latter is what makes Clipse worthwhile. Grammys, you paying attention?

1.) R&B Is Back: Robin Thicke, The Dream, Trey Songz, And The Return Of Babymaking. - It's official. The Dream, in this writers estimation, is a genius. Not only did he have the album of the year, he knows when to fall back and admire his work. R&B hasn't gotten critical acclaim like it's gotten this year since....when? 1999? I mean, I went so far as to declare the genre dead. It mixed so much with hip hop, and not in a fun way. The Thong Song killed all chance that R&B may ever be taken seriously again. But this year, it all came back together. Maxwell came back, and blew everyone away with an album, only to likely vanish again by this time again next year, Robin Thicke's wife is incredibly, incredibly hot, which has very little to do with this, but needed to be said, and Alan's kid has been having the kind of output the past few months that will make sure that some children will be born next summer. Trey Songz took the tasteful hip-hop/R&B route, taking handfuls of rap beats, and putting his own rap/sing mix over them, which, was shockingly impressive. And The Dream...oh, The Dream. He's got the vocal range, the production ability, and the pen. He's probably written your favorite song, but he saved the best for his gem of an album. Hey, what has soul and/or R&B been all about since the dawn of Motown anyway? dressing slick, talking slicker, and having the audacity to walk in and steal your girlfriend, because you won't mind losing to a guy that cool anyway. We got back to the basics. Sure, we could dial down the sex just a bit, not in quantity, but in lewdness. But we're building the genre back up, sure, Boyz II Men aren't walking through that door (at least not ALL of them, though they were in Dublin this year for the fireworks. Sick.), but R&B is back. I mean, FULLY back. It went from life support, to the top. Because these new R&B artists all started out as songwriters. So they've got the chops. They just needed the platform. And I like where we're going from here. Lock up your daughters.

(Your sons will probably be cool, they might get a girlfriend, but The Dream, or some other R&B star will just steal her at the end of the day, so everyone wins. Kind of.)

Thanks for tuning in to the series, and I can only hope that 2010 is as exciting and thought provoking as THIS year in music was.

10 Things That Made Popular Music Better In 2009, Part I. (Or, Taking Suggestions From Girlfriends.)

2009-12-09T15:42:00.004-05:00

Now, in case you're not thoroughly depressed and/or snowed in, let's liven it up a bit. Look, music isn't dead. It isn't dying, and I'm not cynical enough to think that all was bad. I'm a bit of a pop apologist, so while I can't promise to dial down the gushing, I promise that these next 5 things will only enrage some people 1/2 as much as my previous 10. Oh, and as far as tracking my mood on Tiger Woods-fest? I'm so over it. What a difference 3 days and 2 pornstars can make? Anyway....

10.) Lady Gaga: See What I Did There? - This isn't hypocritical, it's reality. Whether or not she does it for me, she is an important cog in the next evolution of solo female pop. I dislike her holding the torch, trust me. But I don't see anyone else willing to take the backlash along with the accolades. Who? Miley Cyrus, outside of also being horrible, has paper thin skin, Taylor Swift, adorable as she may be, isn't crossover enough (unless we're taking this seriously?), Hayley Williams is tied to a band (and not a very good one at that), and all of the rest are either too indie, too old, or too anti-everything to be taken seriously. What music, on the whole, has been lacking since the demise of Britney, and I mean the REAL demise of Britney, the one that affected her musical standing JUST enough, is a brash, (forced and copied, but....) unique, and entertaining solo female pop artist. The guys are fine. We've got Justin Timberlake, if all else fails. And, going back to the point I made the first time around, Gaga's got some musical chops, I don't think many....but Spears had NONE, and Madonna had misguided ones. And Gaga doesn't seem to intentionally play to her sexuality (look, I'm not going to stoop to making a joke off of rumors here, I've got slightly better taste than that, sometimes) as much as people expect. Now, she's not a nun, but she's also not making videos where she's pretty much being held up by a stripper pole while groaning inaudible lyrics. (Britney jokes aside, hat tip to Danja on that track. That beat is infectious.) The point is, I don't get Gaga, and I don't care for her.....thing. But I'm also smart enough to know what's good for music. And she's got the goods. I'm not buying....but I'm one of few. And that's good enough.

9.) Movie Soundtracks: Oh, Yeah. They're Cool Again. - First off, I'd like to dedicate this to 80's teen flicks. Because every one made....the music was spot on. They made me appreciate the film soundtrack more than anyone else. (Oh, and yes...I do own a vinyl copy of the Pretty in Pink soundtrack. So?) It's not even about setting a tone for the film, your epic film should do that on it's own. It's about getting a bunch of cool artists from past eras that the kids today will appreciate, so I can impress some girl outside of the movie theater by schooling her on my extensive Morrissey knowledge. So, in essence, movie soundtracks have to be good, or I'll never get dates. This year, more than any other, movies made digging in the crates cool. 500 Days of Summer, while an evil movie, that left me heartbroken and shattered for weeks, mixed Regina Spektor with the Smiths and Simon & Garfunkel almost effortlessly. Pirate Radio? mixed my new overseas crush of the year, Duffy, with the Kinks and Otis Redding. (And, by the way, how can you not just adore Duffy? She's Welsh, has the swag of Dusty Springfield, and she's so cute. She got robbed at the Grammys. Adele, I'mma let you finish.) Not to mention the bang up job that Karen O did on the Wild Things soundtrack...look, we're no longer looking at movies and tuning out sound. Movies are now the things that remind us, "Oh! I've got to download that song when I get home!" And I love it. When the Coen Bros took the soundtrack out of No Country For Old Men in 2008, it was genius. Now? I could always take more music with my films. Even Adam Sandler had a good serious contribution to a soundtrack.

8.) Autotune: The Good, The Bad, And The News. - Autotune had long been out of hand, though with Kanye West's 808's & Heartbreak late last year, it probably hit a peak this year. The thing is, with West, that was partially tasteful autotune at first. He knew when to get a normal haircut again, and get back to the business of murdering Jay-Z on Jay's own track. The rest of the world didn't seem to catch on to the trend of stopping, prompting the aforementioned Jay-Z to go partially crazy, grow a weird afro, and record the now famous track "D.O.A." (Death of Autotune), which was all hilarious. And then, best of all, we got parody. Oh, did we get parody. That = equally hilarious. ("Am I crazy, am I trippin' on shrooms...or are you singin' about pimpin' on the late night news??" Come on. That is pure gold. PURE.) The thing is this. What is music, if at some point a hilarious trend can't be exposed to make us all laugh? Never mind the fact that autotune got comically overused. The fact that it got exposed, and has practically vanished, but not before giving us some comic relief, is well worth celebrating.

7.) Emo Dudes Grew Up: And Making Mix CD's For High Schoolers Harder To Make. - Pete Wentz gets married, has a kid, dials down the eyeliner, and subsequently, dials down the cliche' heartbreak metaphors. What happens? Folie a Deux happens. Fall Out Boy's most legit, focused effort since debut Take This To Your Grave nearly 7 years ago. Take the overcomplicated lyrics, and replace them with fun, witty lines that are just as good out of context as they are in context, and you've got it. That album alone showed that it's cool to be emo-turned-happy. Other bands followed suit. Cute is What we Aim For broke up and took their ridiculous name with them, to focus on more "adult" efforts, My Chemical Romance re-went back into the studio to re-craft their Black Parade follow up, and claim that they wanted to make it more "true to rock and roll". And the general mood is up, look, I get it, Chris Carraba is emo's Godfather, so he has to still be a whiny tool, but man....he's still giving it all he's got, and trying...REALLY trying to write lyrics that are more intricate than those in say...."Screaming Infidelities", which I put on almost every mix CD I made for every girl ever in 2002. Not everyone can be influenced by the Cure and make the same records Robert Smith is still making now. Because, face it, Robert Smith is getting to old for this shit anyway. And no one wants to be 40 and screaming. (Although, I still love the Cure, and I'm not sure what that says about me. In a funny twist, Wentz and Patrick Stump remixed a Cure song beautifully. Eh...) So, what did all of this do? This domino effect, simply put, turned some of the younger crowd to other things, exposed the high school crowd to more diverse music, and then..............

6.) Your Kids Are Probably Listening To Better Music Than You Again: Passion Pit, The Gaslight Anthem, Fleet Foxes, And Other Reasons To Have Your Teenager Make You A Mix CD - The new breed of band over the past few years can beat up any other brand from any other year. Just 2 weeks ago, I was sitting in Virginia, in an incredibly thick music discussion, when I was asked who I could confidently say the best band of the past 5 years was. Without hesitation, I responded, "Well, the Gaslight Anthem....easily", and look, it's not even close. I think they're that damn good. And I know I'm biased, they're a Jersey band, and I'm admittedly a Jersey scene fanboy. They pretty much frame everything they do after Springsteen, and let's face it. I like Springsteen just a little bit. But it's not just that. It's the fact that this new breed of band, they're getting back to appealing to the SONGWRITER in us. Yeah, Brian Fallon might think rock n' roll began with Asbury Park and ended with Nebraska, but man, that's where BEST stuff was anyway. And I know, I know...isn't Gaslight copping Springsteen swag the same as Gaga copping Madonna swag?? Maybe, but last time I checked, Madonna couldn't lead music to the promised land. Bruce could. These guys can. (Despite that, they're from Jersey, and they bleed and breathe Jersey, so if they steal some of Springsteen, they've earned it.)

Passion Pit, by all estimations at this point, will be my band of the year. I was never sick of electronic keyboard rock, but even if I was, I'd dig these guys. Their album, Manners, is so worth a listen, it's not even funny. Look, are (at times) 3 keyboard players overkill? hell yes. But, Overkill is the new understatement (where have you guys been?), and they're the belles of the ball. And even if they flame out, I could care less, they gave me the best 2 years ever. Last January, I was outside of the Newport on OSU's Campus, down because the fucking guy at Apollo's gyro place screwed up my gyro again, and these kids, bummed 'cause it was too cold to skate are hangin' around the record shop, and they look me up and down, kids these days, you know? and I wanna know what they're listening to, I wanna know what the kids these days are doing to get their fix of good music, and I don't wanna hear any Lil' Wayne or Backstreet Boys neither. And these kids, they're like, "Man, we're listening to Passion Pit and Fleet Foxes....whattya know about it?" if a possible pre-teen is listening to better music than me (which they probably weren't overall, just at that moment), that's a massive victory for pop music. The crop of bands that have popped up since early 2008 is like the 1997 NBA Draft. Everyone's good. Everyone's contributing. Throw in Florence and the Machine, La Roux, White Lies, the insufferably cute Ting Tings, and a handful of others, and well....The Kids Are (finally) Alright. Again.

(Tomorrow is the final installment, in which we look at 5 things that made the toppermost of the poppermost just delightful in 2009.)

10 Things That Made Popular Music Worse In 2009, Part II. (Or, Well, That Deescalated Quickly.)

2009-12-08T21:34:00.002-05:00

So, where did we leave off yesterday? Ok, look, I know I said I wasn't going to track this thing. But all I know is, I went to sleep, and Tiger Woods was at a possible 7 mistresses. I woke up at 10. And now we've got 11??? Listen, people. Me and my bros? We know how to party. Or at least I thought we did. T Weezy is bagging double digits, including some chick from a pancake house and...oh, yeah. ANOTHER PORN STAR. (Though, in that industry, which admittedly I'm not a major in...I feel as though the word "star" is thrown around a bit freely, right? I mean, is everyone a star?)....so the saga continues. Don't mistake my finding humor in this story for me condoning Tiger Woods possibly tearing his family apart. But much like any trainwreck, I'm in it for the lolz. Anyway, I left us with the first 5 things that damaged pop music in 2009 yesterday, which actually led to at least 2 thought provoking discussions about Lady Gaga. And now for the conclusion.

5.) Timbaland: WHAT HAPPENED? - The funny thing is, as of last night, this wasn't on the list at all. But, I had the dubious task of writing a review for the much awaited follow-up to 2007's Shock Value, the wisely titled Shock Value II. (And it blazed all the way to 5th....mmmm.) Listen, the first Shock Value destroyed me. Back in 2007, I told anyone that would listen, be it in print, or in person, that this album...THIS album would re-define the art of production in popular music. Timbaland? he's like a large, black Phil Spector (minus the guns and weird shit.) , this can't fail!

Well, Shock Value was not an enjoyable record. Yes, there were some gems. But on the whole, what we got was a sorely overproduced album with terrible collaborative efforts, capping off with a joke of a collab with Elton John.

Here's the thing, before I tear SV2 apart. Timbaland is an important cog in pop music production. For what will be coming up on nearly two decades, he framed a sound, and built artists. Really. I mean, ok, do I love Nelly Furtado? No. I don't even like her. But I own Loose. Because I'll be damned if the beat for "Promiscuous" isn't one of the best beats of all time. And if you think that adults would take Justin Timberlake seriously if it wasn't for Timbaland, you're mistaken. He's another Futuresex/Lovesounds away from being the new King of Pop. Tell me I'm wrong. But, Timbaland, after having a fantastic 2007, even with the SV flop, and a pretty damn solid 2008, vanished this year. This did two things. It left the toppermost of the poppermost void of hits with the Timbaland sound, the brand that he's towered over Billboard with for years. He produced on a mere 8 albums this year, and outside of his work with Chris Cornell on Scream, none of it was extensive. He struck out all over Jay-Z's aforementioned BP3, possibly offering up two of the worst beats on the entire record ("Off That" and "Venus and Mars"....Drake's infectious hook saved the former. The latter was beyond help.), and plodded his way through attempting to make Keri Hilson his next Aaliyah project. The second thing it did was expose us to just how bad mainstream production has gotten over the years. Yeah, it's front loaded, but with Kanye West and Timbaland not in the picture, well...you're asking a lot of The Neptunes. Producers like Danja, Polow Da Don, and Cool & Dre just had a hard time assuming the weight. They're like Pippens to Timbaland's Jordan. And for them, 2009 was that infamous "migraine" playoff game.

And Shock Value II , which I won't spend too much time on, is a disaster. It's Timbaland's heroic flaw coming to the front again, instead of working with the heavy hitters that he's aided, the Jay's, the Missy Elliot's, the ones with all of the best Chemistry, his ego makes him work with collaborators that he's CLEARLY better than. Just so that if he succeeds, he can say, "Look! I AM what you all thought!! I took Miley Cyrus!! Miley Cyrus!!! And I produced for her, and made her GREAT!!! I AM GENIUS!!!"

.....But, Then this happens. So, you're no longer sold.

4.) Albums Of 2009: The Best One Is......No, Wait, It's In Here Somewhere. - In short, I don't know that there was a great album this year. There wasn't one that towered over all of the rest. Now, is that bad? Not totally. But there were a handful of really flawed albums that were just "good" or "very good", which makes for a very curious state of music. I'd say 2008 had the Fleet Foxes record, TV on The Radio, and Gaslight Anthem....All GREAT records. Like, 5 star records. What album that came out this year is greater than 4 stars, if we're being honest? Look, I LOVE Animal Collective. I do. I still feel like Merriweather Post Pavilion is simply not more than a really good Beach Boys tribute album. REALLY good, but still, it is what it is. My number 1 album of the year, and I can share it since those of you that will read my end of year articles know this already, is The Dream's Love Vs. Money. That was my #1 album in July. That's not a good look. And yes, that's a great album, I wouldn't call it the best just to call it the best. But I can't think of another year this decade in which this would be ANYONE'S album of the year.

3.) Hip-Hop's Next Generation: Ummmm....Cool Story, Bro. - Well, ok, this was #1 for a long time, but I had some great discussions that made me scale back my opinion. See, I love hip-hop. I think it's easy to forget, because of all genres, I probably talk about it the least, but I know the most about it. I've seen the evolutions. I've seen Rakim fade out and NaS pick up where he left off, I've seen Jay-Z raise from the hails of gunfire that destroyed the genre in the 90's, I've seen Southern rap be re-defined, annoyingly at first, and then become comfortable. And now, We're at that place again. That place where the would-be greats are either getting older (Jay-Z, NaS, Scarface), Played out (Lil' Wayne), or burned out (T.I., and depending on the day, Lupe Fiasco.) So, in comes these guys.

Throw in Drake, not pictured, and those are the would-be leaders on the new school. Kid Cudi, Wale, B.o.B., Asher Roth, Charles Hamilton, Mickey Factz, Cory Gunz, Ace Hood, Curren$y, and Blu. Now, it's not that these guys aren't that good. But their output in 2009 barely made a drop on the radar. The Asher Roth backlash was hilarious. But it didn't really help. The Greenhouse Effect mixtape got decent buzz, but debut album Asleep in the Bread Aisle pretty much got trashed. Cudi and Wale did their part, both releasing albums that won me over with just half of a listen, and spoke positively to the future of where hip-hop could go. The rest? Cory Gunz spent the year much like he spent last year. Talking about how great his album is going to be when it drops, Mickey Factz left something to be desired on everything he spit on, I forgot Blu even existed, Ace Hood's album bricked, and Charles Hamilton got punched by a girl.

All things considered, we didn't break even. The good is, Drake will be fine. He needs to break free from the Young Money machine, and really strive for the creative control he so wanted, but he'll be fine. Wale and Cudi speak to that same point. But that can't be it. Mainstream hip hop needs artists to fill the Jay-Z void, it's how it survives. Underground hip-hop is fantastic because it can survive off of beats and rhymes alone, which is pure, and I love and respect it. But the mainstream arena needs THOSE GUYS that have crossover appeal, yet can still make the backpackers nod and smile from time to time. Otherwise, the over-commercialization of the genre will have to continue to appeal to the lowest common denominator. And I get worried that this is where we're heading if the under 30 crowd doesn't step up in 2010.

2.) Band Breakups: Teenage Girls Are Pissed. (Or, Ryan Ross, WTF?) - So, let's do the rundown. Cute is What We Aim For? Done. Louis XIV? Done. Danity Kane? Totally done. Laurie Ann Gibson doesn't bullshit. Cheetah Girls? Had to look it up for the purpose of this ongoing gag, but....yeah. They're done.

Now, of that group, the only one that even matters the least to me is Louis XIV, simply because Illegal Tender is one of the best EPs that I've heard in my lifetime. But there's two others that didn't TOTALLY break up...but....

So, first, Panic at The Disco splits in half. Ryan Ross and Jon Walker decided to part ways with Brendon Urie and Spencer Smith. And Brendon Urie, because I imagine he's a passive aggressive, whiny asshole, decides to put that stupid exclamation point back in the name. And now we've got 16 year old girls walking around with "Team Ryan" and "Team Brendon" shirts. Awesome, just what I needed to really spice up my August. But, yes, oh yes. This hurts pop music. Anyone that read any of my opinions on 2008's Pretty. Odd. would see that I thought it was a fantastic leap forward for a band that had a now-bright future. As long as the budding genius of Ryan Ross was recognized to it's fullest, since Ross was pretty much the only talent in that band, and showed that left to his own devices, he could do amazing work. I mean, seriously. P.O. was a good album front to back, a nod to classic rock, slickly arranged, with dialed down lyrics....I loved it. So, when I read that Ross had split to form his own band, The Young Veins, I was stoked.

But then something weird happened. Or, a series of odd things. First, Ryan Ross apparently woke up to a pile of cocaine, took a photo with it, and some questionably aged girls, and pulled the good old, "I have no clue how any of that got there". Which pretty much made the whole "Ryan Ross thinks he's a 60's rock star, but really isn't, LOL." thing make a whole lot more sense. And then I actually HEARD the Young Veins music. Let me see if I can describe it. It's like Ray Davies. If Ray Davies sucked. Ross can't sing, so it's really tedious to listen to, and despite his impeccable ear, he's no instrumental virtuoso, so the instruments often come off as clumsy, and cluttered. Mostly, look. Ryan Ross isn't going to win over the garage rock revival crowd after being in PATD. He's just not. And he's alienating all of the teenage girls who think that The Kinks were a 70's hair product. So, what? now The Young Veins are in limbo, at last check, they didn't have a record deal, and Ryan Ross is now going to be that brilliant young dude who screwed up, left a band because he overshot his critical acclaim, and he's going to rot in middle ground hades. Shit.

And what's worse, Panic's first post-Ross song....was pretty damn good. Catchy, great hook, Urie not doing his traditional over-reaching vocals....I don't think Panic is good for pop music long term WITHOUT Ross. And I don't think Ross is good for pop music long term without Panic. What a mess.

Lastly, as I'm sure most have heard, Fall Out Boy is on chill for a while. Look, here's the thing. I get it, man, I do. You do it until you can't fake it anymore, or until it doesn't mean shit, or until you want to kill each other, and you bow out. But don't play this "break" thing. I've got odds saying they won't come back. We've all been in relationships where this happens. And that's fine, I'd be sad, I've been a fan of theirs for the majority of this decade, even thought their last album was a peak. But I can take it. Patrick Stump has been the only talented guy in that band for years now, probably since the last song on Cork Tree , so whatever. But don't play the "break" game, Wentz. I can take it, much like Mike Gundy, I'm a man. But don't play that game with the young fans that you claim to pour your heart out for. Listen, I called this breakup at the start of the year, so I come out looking good. But the other day, I was sitting with my friend Courtney, a lukewarm FOB fan at first, and we're listening to their would-be swan song, the newly released "From Now On, We're Enemies", and she sighed, looked up and simply said, "You know, I was never THAT into them....but I'm gonna miss these guys." Me too, guys....Me too. Now sign me up for a fucking epic Patrick Stump solo career, right?

1.) Michael Jackson: If You Thought It Would Be Anything Else, You Have No Idea Who You're Reading. - I will remember the day when Michael Jackson died. Period. I'll remember where I was, all of it. I'll remember hastily writing a tribute before the death was announced, "just in case" (Poor taste? maybe, but come on.), getting a call from the best of my old time friends, Maria, in which she weakly asked into the phone, "Hey....umm....is Mike Jackson really dead??" when I responded that I thought so, she exhaled sharply, and simply said "Wow.....shit, man....I'm really sad." I remember writing this tribute, answering numbers of calls and texts, and finally just sitting back for a second, turning my phone off, setting my laptop aside, and thinking....'Wow. My generation lost it's Elvis.' I found myself sad, too, not because I knew the guy, but because if music as the soundtrack to a life is any indication, HE knew ME. Cheesy as it may be, it's true. If you were born after 1980, you got a glimpse of something magical, when you were still young enough to get excited about such things.

It's only right to close such a piece on such a not. R.I.P. once again, Michael.

(Tomorrow, we'll brighten up with the first 5 things that made pop music AMAZING in 2009. Tune in.)