rockbridge times

On This Sunny Day

noreply@blogger.com (MMH) — Sat, 06 Feb 2010 20:59:00 +0000

I am not out walking. Make that a 'should' be out walking and am not. Instead, I rose from my bed at the late hour of 9:00 a.m. after a call from my brother who happened to be in the Milwaukee airport waiting for a flight back to Houston. This whole day, I've been flitting, as I do, from one thing to another. I am washing load after load of bed linens in hot water as per instructions from the allergy clinic. They told me that hot water kills dust mites. I sure hope so.
I am also sorting through endless newspapers, reading op-ed pieces and stories about Congress and Pakistan and Sarah Palin that would be funny if they weren't so tinged with ill will and dastardly goings-on.
Yes, yes, I've also written a half dozen more thank you letters and they are stacked on the back of the living room couch waiting to be paired with press clips and tucked into envelopes. Almost every day this week, I went to the post office with a new stack. Two dozen more and I think I will be finished. The good news about these letters is that they are evidence that many, many people played parts in the making of Second Seating and for that, I am grateful. No one work on this kind of projects alone. Ever.
What this Saturday has really been about is the remaking of my bed as a dust mite free zone. If all the allergy skin testing on my back and upper arms is to be believed, dust mites are driving me nuts. As well as tree droppings, pollen, house dust and cats of which I have two.
A visit to Macy's white sale a few days ago resulted my car jammed with very big bags of white this-and-that, beginning with a 'made in China for Martha Stewart' zippered mattress body suit. This morning I chose to tackle getting that body suit on my mattress. Just me. By myself. My friend Sally is in Egypt scouting pyramids at the moment and not available to give a hand for this sort of project. But, I discovered, one person can do this job. And I completely turned the mattress over on its other side for good measure. Got the hypoallergenic cover on and zippered tightly shut. Then I added a new hypoallergenic mattress pad and a non-down down comforter, two hypoallergenic pillows and one flat hard hypoallergenic pillow that I have actually been sleeping on for several nights. It works well for 'back sleepers'. Says so on the label.
Footnote, last night, sleeping with my head flat on this flat futon-like new pillow and my sleep apnea paraphernalia in place all over my face, I stirred in the night and reached my arm over my head and felt 'cat.' Marisol was curled up on that part of the new flat pillow I'd not cornered for myself. Add in Farrell's delight in jumping up on my bed for head rubs and much purring and crashing through newspapers and pushing books aside. I am scheduled for cat allergy shots too and the nurse asked me, "How old are these cats."
"Just middle aged," I responded. "They'll be around awhile." Unless I find them new homes. Now, that's a thought. Unlikley, though. My family - parents, siblings, offspring - are all cat-folk. I grew up with cats, generations of them, my girls watched litters born in the corner of my clothes closet, cats leap up on our tables, find secret places to snooze all over our houses, eat incessantly, purr, bite, misbehave, pee in the wrong places when leaving us messages, go in and out and in out any door we open. But, this is digression. My bed is now totally clean and new and I will put a towel across the bedspread tonight for Marisol. Which she may sleep on.

Sony Gives Us Numbers We Didn't Count On

noreply@blogger.com (MMH) — Sat, 06 Feb 2010 19:03:00 +0000

Just take a good look at this from Sony's annual meeting: Did you know?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cL9Wu2kWwSY

It Is What It Is and It's Not Bad

noreply@blogger.com (MMH) — Sat, 06 Feb 2010 03:39:00 +0000

So, it is almost 10:00 p.m. on Friday night and I've just returned from three hours at Celsius 13, Ian Rosenberg's lovely wine bar on Caroline St in Midtown. Hadn't been there in a long, long time, but a friend called, a friend with whom I needed to have a long, leisurely catch-up visit. We sat on the patio. Sorry no photos of the space with hanging strings of red lights and space heaters. Two glasses of wine and three hours later, we still were not entirely caught up, but we'd both done a lot of talking. By the way, she had Pellegrino while I was savoring an Australian Shiraz and then a Cabernet from where and of what vintage, I cannot remember. Kathie ordered panini stuffed with feta and tomatoes and then a plate of truffles. We are not yet finished with our conversation; it is ongoing. She swears we knew each other in another life and I think she is right.
I had another friend who emailed me today and asked if I was OK. He'd not read a new word on this blog in almost two weeks. Days are sweeping by and before you know it, Valentine's Day 2010 will have come and gone and soon it will be spring break. And it is way time for me to be scheduling another trip to Seattle, even though I've been home just five weeks. It is time to return.
Dad's 93d birthday is on Monday and there will be a party with cake and music. I hope some of the great grandchildren will be in attendance. I know that most of Dad and Mom's days are long and boring and I know from phone calls with Dad and emails from my sister that it is time for to fly again and do whatever I can to brighten things up for a few days and give my sister some free time. Needs are unending. Makes one wish for a multi-generational homestead where the elders would have caregivers and they would also have a flow of family around and about them for moment to moment entertainment.
My dear sister Kate has tumbled into a series of dental and other doctor appointments for both Mom and Dad and, of course, the outcome is never good. More work to be done. Teeth to be cleaned, ears that need better hearing. Mom and Dad's lives go on and on and on and they cannot do for themselves. Their adult family home couldn't be better and yet, there are all these appointments for which my sister is rallying. And what of their social life? Of course I need to fly back to the Pacific Northwest and 'do something.' And I've not even mentioned the grandchildren, my daughters and their families all going at full steam. So much family in Seattle, so little time.I thought I might have a block of days next week for Seattle, but they are already filled with appointments. A second round of interviews for a consulting job, doctor's appointments of my own and then two weekends filled the Mom 2.0 Summit, a social networking conference right in downtown Houston at the Four Seasons. I am thinking it may be similar to BlogHer conferences? The next weekend is a three day workshop at Art Supply with Patti Brady for which I signed up last fall. Workshop has to do with acrylics and applying images to many different surfaces. My horoscope says I'll have an epiphany in late February so the workshop may be it. I know. It all sounds nuts.
What it means is no trip to Seattle until early March. Must set aside days now. And what if that second consulting interview goes well and I suddenly am part of a team and have actual meetings to attend - and responsibilities? That's a big one.
I've been back in Houston five weeks. During these five weeks, I've been composing individual thank you letters to the many, many people who helped with Second Seating. They are being mailed with packets of press clips and copies of exhibition signage to underwriters, partners and friends who helped make Second Seating work. As usual, I had no idea how long it would take or how involved it would be. How can it possibly have taken a month? Well, in between letters, I've written two final reports for grants I received for Second Seating, both of which had varying degrees of spread sheets to be filled out with financial information. Anything with numbers is for me very time consuming.
I've attended to health issues. No diseases, just conditions. Like a stiff neck and sore muscles in almost all parts of my body - a situation that's been coming on for years and I've finally decided that something must be done, so am seeing an osteopath and a physical therapist. They push and pull and where ever they probe, there is soreness and tightness and it's no fun. I asked the physical therapist today what relaxed muscles felt like and she said to feel the muscles of my grandchildren. I will definitely feel their little necks and shoulders when I get to Seattle. Apparently mine are all like ropes holding a ship at port.
And then there are the allergies, something I've been afflicted with since childhood. Took shots when the girls were little and was fine for a decade or two. Now allergies have pushed back into my life with a vengeance, so I spent two days at the McGovern Allergy Clinic getting skin tests up and down my back and arms. They found the usual suspects like pollen and whatever falls from trees, house dust and dust mites. And of all things, rice and corn and dairy. Rice and corn? None of these foodstuffs for three months? Remember where I live and think Mexican food. Realize that means no more of Thursday's green chicken enchilada lunch special from Brothers Tacos, no La Victoria's migas for breakfast, no fried rice from Connie's that goes so nicely with a dozen oysters, no Kanomwan Thai, no Vietnamese unless I stick with pho. And forget cheeses and ice cream. I'll have two allergy shots a week and lots of new drugs. Now I am using an inhaler, Nasacort, an antihistamine, eye drops. My drug list doubled. Hey, I am in terrible shape. My eyes have been running for almost two months and my cheeks are chapped from the wet. Thank heaven for tinted eye glasses, a life saver. I still look OK, even fashionable.
Now I know any number of friends who tell me that all of this health stuff is lack of sleep and too much work for too long a time and I do not disagree. Of course, that is is exactly what my stiff neck and running nose is about. So, I am giving time to finding the right chair and small lap top table at which to sit so I am not throwing my body completely off kilter, I will walk again now that the rain has stopped and I have already bought a zippered mattress cover and new pillows and comforter. Away, dust mites.
Now, in addition to all of this attending to my body business, I have one more grant proposal to write - it's due March 1 - and as I said, I've made the second round of interviews for this consulting 'artist at the table' position. And maybe, just maybe, someday soon, I'll have finished all the thank you letters pertaining to Second Seating.
So what else has been going on? On a very blue beautiful day, I drove out with a friend to the San Jacinto Monument and took a walk and saw barges and ships and of course, the monument.We had four or five freezing nights and the garden is a wreak. We've not had temperatures like these in years, nor for so many round the clock days, so almost everything except the roses up and died. I've watched a lot of Netflix - like half a season of 'The Closer' - don't you love Kyra Sedgwick's Southern accent and the way she assigns tasks and then says 'thank you' so very sweetly - and wouldn't we all like a boyfriend like her Fritz? Then there is 'Waiting for God' which is absolutely marvelous. I am watching my favorite episodes for the second time. The dialogue is so fine that I put subtitles on when I am watching so I don't miss a word. I know I am going deaf. Then there is 'In Treatment', a series that makes we want to shake half of the therapist's patients and say 'get over it.' Which, I guess, is another way of saying it's good to be 60+. We've been there, so let's move on already. Well, I have suddenly run out of steam and have to depart this laptop for bed.
Au revoir.
P.S. I stopped by The Guild Shop today and that is another story.

Current State

noreply@blogger.com (MMH) — Tue, 26 Jan 2010 12:07:00 +0000

Ouch! How the days get away from me. Has it been over a week since I've posted? So many topics filter through my brain, each one worthy of attention, deserving descriptive words. Still feel somewhat in limbo-land. Takes me forever to get motivated, energized in the mornings. This sluggish morning thing began in Seattle, when even with coffee or tea, I could not get myself going until after 11:00 a.m.
Well, that continues, unless I am up at 4:30 a.m. which happens a couple of days each week. Like this morning. Though I'm drowsy again at 6:10 a.m. and should probably nap until close to my 9:00 appointment with an osteopath who is straightening out my body. Good thing she is, too. I've had a tight neck for over a decade. She, and I, have our work cut out for ourselves.
Here, in passing, are just a few of the events that were 'my life' since my last post. I finished two final project reports for funders of Second Seating and sent them both off. What a weight taken away from January. Now immersed in thank you letters to underwriters. Just finished a draft and will walk around the block while it settles. I'll return and read it one more time and then begin to personalize the ten letter I've set as a goal today. They'll all be mailed with packets of media clips and copies of signage with underwriter names.
The days are beautiful and blue just now, though most of the garden is brown. Froze and needs to be pruned back after we feel confident there'll be no more freezes. It all looks pretty sad out there. We've been clear cut with Hurricane Ike and more recently nights of 20 degree weather. It'll get up to 70 degrees today, lows of 50 at night. Quite wonderful. Ok, I'm off for a walk and will write more later.

Can Texting Ever Become An 'Old Fashioned' Hug?

noreply@blogger.com (MMH) — Wed, 20 Jan 2010 09:46:00 +0000

Our children and our grandchildren are truly not like us at all. They are morphing into what might almost be declared a new sort of species. The Kaiser Family Foundation has just tallied the ways and the time kids spend with technology.
We would be well advised to be savvy enough to learn that our iPhone is not primarily a phone at all. It's a small handheld computer that connects us to the world in thousands of ways. I know I am not even using the right terminology here. So be it for this moment.
I signed myself up for the New Media Conference at the Four Seasons Hotel here in Houston next month. It will be overrun with mommy bloggers, but they and their children are leading the charge, very nicely, thank you.
My eldest daughter just wrote a comment on a recent blog post of mine. She says "iPhones are SO not about being a phone. They are the new laptops. I avoid actually using it as a phone." I already know that the phones in their home are lost usually lost under bed covers or toys and are not used as phones very much. I already know that Skype seems to have fallen by the wayside. Too bad.
It pays to look very closely at Facebook and Twitter and lots of texting as the new ways of finding, being with, sharing life with your children and grandchildren.
I am wondering just how we learn to say, "I love you" using our own human voices among all of these new choices? How can we give a big bear hug that someone else's shoulders can actually feel? Just checking.

Here's My Sunday So Far

noreply@blogger.com (MMH) — Sun, 10 Jan 2010 20:47:00 +0000

At last, I am in the middle of drafting the narrative for HAA's final report, but couldn't resist a break to add ever more photos to this blog of mine. Here's my day in pictures. Remember that New Year's Eve counted as a Blue Moon night, so I thought I'd get my toes painted blue. A pedicure was one of my several forays out of bed this week. You can see that Tony Duquette's book "More is More" is still on my bed. I kind of like having everything I need on the bed. My coffee is within reach. So is a sleeping cat.I'd say that almost everything is dead in the garden. How many days and nights are going to be holding at 20 degrees? It's a killer, especially with blue skies. Thank heaven for a clump of concrete flowers.Here's breakfast. Yes, I've had coffee today so that HAA draft will get done. Yes, I also had a mug of Chinese herbs. No, I haven't eaten the other half of that pear or that avocado.I pinned one of Mercedes' paintings to the quilt on the wall in the living room. I quite like it there and it gives me 'ideas.' We'll see where they lead. Back to drafting words.

iPhone Photos: Indulging Myself

noreply@blogger.com (MMH) — Sun, 10 Jan 2010 02:27:00 +0000

Indulging myself usually means taking a look at just a few more photos. So here goes with family iPhone photos I've collected since mid-October. It all began when my sister Kate flew to Houston to see Second Seating. Here she is photographing with her phone at Jim Goode's Taqueria on Kirby. Actually, truth be known, Kate doesn't have an iPhone, but the rest of us in these photos do we appear to use them in various ways. Caroline has over 200 apps to entertain her children. She's put about a dozen on my iPhone. I am still working my way through them, but I think she chose well. Both Jeanne and Caroline has their lives in their iPhones. Couldn't do all the things they do without them. I am learning to be more adept.We all went to Chris and Heather's wedding in November which led to these photos. Here's one of Kelan at the rehearsal dinner, fully absorbed, undoubtedly in an app game. Girls, am I saying that correctly?This is not John's phone. I'd say by the color of the case that it's Jeanne McGrady's and Lauren is showing Uncle John a thing or two. And below is Jeanne at Christmas time when we went to eat at a Thai restaurant, no not Tom Thai up n the UW district. We were feasting in Queen Anne.And here is Caroline attending to my iPhone, trying to fix it so I can receive emails. Didn't work that day, though she's really good at fixing things. I'll take it out to the Apple store once I've risen from my bed. What a week this has been.And here I am on Christmas morning at Mom and Dad's adult family home, taking photos, of course.And then showing Mom the results. And then she tried to take a photo as well, but as you can see, she is probably just squinting at the Apple logo.
And here is Miss Lula Bell engrossed as is her mom in the next to the last photo. Sometimes they get to share an iPhone.My grandchildren, by the way, are looking intently at an app on their mom's iPhone in this photo which was taken on Bonnie Boxing Day, hence their dress-up clothes.

Finally

noreply@blogger.com (MMH) — Sun, 10 Jan 2010 00:04:00 +0000

The flight back from Seattle seems eons ago. Just looked at this downloaded photo. How beautiful it was to be flying over the mountains at sunset. And seeing it all from an upgrade into first class. I declined a glass of wine when offered, which was probably a mistake, or not.
Finally, I am getting some work done, after days spent in bed or in efforts to rehabilitate myself.
Spent the better part of this day with Melissa, pouring over the blanks on the Houston Arts Alliance (HAA) final report form which must be filled in and gotten to Neighborhood Centers by mid-week. Then, they'll so complete their portion and send on to HAA for review. Finally, NCI should receive a check for $5000, the remainder of the special opportunities grant for which they applied and were awarded on my behalf last September. HAA doles out these grant funds in two parts. In my case, that is OK, as I raised so much more money that I used to pay invoices as they arrived. I cannot imagine what artists must do about paying folks and vendors in a timely manner if they don't have ready cash at the time of delivery. Whatever, tonight and tomorrow, I'll write the narrative and then on Monday get some advice from HAA staff on allowable categories for funding and then I'll work with Melissa once again on the expenses pages.
After we finish the HAA final report, I have a second final report to give Diverse Works for The Idea Fund grant. It's simpler, but still, it has both narrative and budget information.
And then, incidentally, I've been asked to send a letter of intent for another totally different art project - in just a week's time. That means next Friday afternoon, so this upcoming week will be busy indeed. I suspect few if any thank you letters for Second Seating will be drafted until all these other things are wrapped up.
I am still pondering items to put in gift baskets for folks who did so much for Second Seating. "The Making of Second Seating" - that would be the book - is only partially laid out at blurb.com, an on-going endeavor that will be finished even later this month. It's intended for funders and folks who might like a remembrance. And I think it will be a good item to put with new grant proposals, as they occur. At least, I think it will give panels and curators something concrete to peruse, for if I can make art, collaborate with others, raise funds, promote, give parties and generally create an all around successful project, funds should be granted. Enough.You probably suspect caffeine for this burst of words and you would be correct. Caffeine got me through the work of today and it's obviously still guiding my fingers on this keyboard. I finally unpacked my second suitcase this morning, though my dresser is loaded with stuff to put in a multitude of drawers, closets and other spaces.
It's still freezing outside and each day more plants shrivel and brown. I finally wrapped my little sea grape bush, the one which has been growing so nicely since early this spring. Its leaves are now frozen brown and stiff as paper. Hope the roots make it. Hibiscus is gone, as are all the potted plants. The croton plant, I've put in the screen porch. Trailing flowering vines are brown at the front of the house. Will those roots survive? Hope so. The evergreen wisteria is just that - green all over. Can't imagine that the Carolina jasmine will bloom in a few weeks as is it usual habit.
So, it's dark now and I need to check out the refrigerator for some supper and then, if I am still on a caffeine high, I'll get back to the HAA final report narrative. If not, I bundle into bed and read and wish I had some Netflix movies. I've sent them all back and the new choices from my queue are in transit. My bed is littered with books and newspapers. It's been a luxurious week, even though I've though I've felt absolutely flat, no pun intended. Talking about energy here.

Tony Duquette's Malibu

noreply@blogger.com (MMH) — Thu, 07 Jan 2010 16:02:00 +0000

Here's a link to fantasyland, circa 1950s, a la Tony Duquette.

What's not to love here?

Remembering 3 Family Meals in Seattle

noreply@blogger.com (MMH) — Wed, 06 Jan 2010 03:18:00 +0000

New Year's afternoon, Denny and Kate hosted a dinner with all the special 'good luck' Southern dishes he prepares so well. He serves the very best pea soup I've ever tasted with corn bread baked in a skillet, cut in wedges like a pie and covered with butter and honey. That's for starters. Then Denny makes black eyed peas and collard greens. Can't beat the combination of all four. We waited to eat until John arrived from Houston mid day and we waited some more while he and I went to visit Mom and Dad. Then with as many of our kids as possible - that would be two of my three daughters and most of their families - we shared a New Year's repast. My sister Kate was sorely missing her two as one rarely has a celebratory meal in one's own house without your own kids - or some of them. And the table was beautiful. The Jensen silver we each have was at each place setting and I've always thought that the round soup spoons are to die for. John and I shared a second New Year's meal with Mom and Dad the next day when we warmed more of Denny's soup and black eyed peas and greens and brought Mom and Dad to their house. After devouring every single black eyed pea, Dad burst into song. Wish I'd filmed him singing "Eyes of Blue, I love you, Has anybody seen my girl." That tenor voice can still belt one if the mood strikes. Those few moments became the high point of the day.
Here are a few more photos, these from dinner at the Brooklyn Steak House on 2nd Ave where John invited Denny, Kate and me on Sunday evening. I cannot tell you how much we like the ambiance and the service. And then there is the feeling of the place with its ceramic tiled floor, the bar as a nice place to eat informally, the booths that speak to private dining, the oysters that the menu says are 'deftly shucked.' They must be. They sure are good and twice as expensive as Chinook's. John and I found that place one evening as we left Virginia Mason after Mom broke her hip a couple of years ago. We'd been with her most of a day and when we left, I said I needed a steak to keep going. John took the word of someone he talked with at the hospital and we've been eating there every since, sort of as a 'good thing to do' after lots of caretaking and worry about Mom and Dad.I had a platter with a mix of Penn Cove and BayWater oysters - both smallish and briny, but each with a distinctive flavor and very different shells. The steaks are terrific and so was my martini. So, there you are, 'break bread' together and often something soul satisfying happens.

First Day Home

noreply@blogger.com (MMH) — Tue, 05 Jan 2010 23:31:00 +0000

The sun is now low in the sky, lowering itself an hour later than in Seattle. It's just 5:30 and I've risen from my bed to check emails and take a Tylenol. Was told at Pilates this morning that a vertebrate in my neck is askew, thus the ache down the back of my neck and along the muscles of my clavicle. What specific stress in Seattle caused this?
I've not attempted to accomplish much of anything today. After Pilates, I shopped to restock my refrigerator at Whole Foods and Fiesta, ate too much of a peanut candy cluster along with two spelt bread sandwiches filled with Mary and Queta's gift of summer sausage.
I intended to get back into bed and read and nap, both of which I accomplished. I read much of today's New York Times and cracked open "More is More", the book about Tony Duquette's life work. It was in the stack of mail and packages that greeted my arrival home last evening. I am delighted with his take on living. Also dipped into Gourmet Magazine's new cookbook that I bought from Daedalus before I left for Seattle. Poignant to read as the magazine itself will no longer be published.
I feel generally a mess, bone and muscle weary. Each time the phone rings and I choose to answer it, I can hardly life to my voice and I almost slip off to sleep as I listen. The door bell rang three times over an hour ago and I just could not answer it. However, the bell was stimulating enough that I began to look around my bedroom with a desire to photograph the view from my bed pillows.
I've not even made a 'to do' list yet today, and I guess that is OK. I am weary, weary. I've no doubt it will take me all of January to properly thank everyone who helped with Second Seating and to get those final reports in so I can collect the remainder of my grant money.
I may have to add coffee into a daily mix of stimulants in order to make this stuff happen in a timely way. I'd thought to banish coffee for awhile to see how I'd survive. Uhmmmm.
I am going back to bed with a heating pad, books and the hope that Tylenol will make it all better until I ascertain whether my neck will right itself by itself.
On another note, it was wonderful to watch You Tube clips of Annise Parker's inauguration day. Just wonderful.

More Is More Says Tony Duquette and He's Right

noreply@blogger.com (MMH) — Fri, 01 Jan 2010 05:32:00 +0000

Every so often I find a book, an article, a painting, a 'something' that excites me. So it was at Barnes & Noble at Northgate Mall last night. Yep, I spent over an hour in a Barnes & Noble instead of down at Elliot Bay Bookstore, an independent bookseller, but I was on my way home from Mom and Dad's and needed some entertainment before heading to the house. In the Home & Garden section, I found a really big coffee table book titled 'More Is More' with a very flamboyant cover. I immediately sat myself down on the floor and spent half an hour with the book, which is filled with the work of artist and designer Tony Duquette. His jewelry, his interiors, his chandeliers, his everything, is over the top, layer upon layer, tableaus to be arranged and rearranged for the sheer pleasure of it. I've got to get home and get busy again. Find I am losing it here. The ideas are not pumping through me in Seattle. Interesting how they've vanished or perhaps gone into hiding during this trip to the Northwest. One thing I have been thinking about is painting my entire living room sort of like this image below or like the painted woman above. Just covering the walls with stencils, painted images and 'stuff.' I'd do this after removing everything from the walls. Then I"d bring back what was there before, piece by piece to see if it still works in the space. Sure intrigues me.

Blue Moon This New Year's Eve

noreply@blogger.com (MMH) — Fri, 01 Jan 2010 04:14:00 +0000

Except that we won't be seeing it tonight. It's rainy, cloudy and chilly in Seattle. However, last night, as you can see in the photo above, the moon was almost full and gorgeous. This evening Kate and Denny and I went to Chinook's for drinks and supper. I had half a martini with gin (followed by pill for an immediate headache), Kate had two Cosmos and Denny stayed with white wine. Denny and I shared a platter of fresh oysters and then steamed mussels and clams and finally, we all split a crème brûlée. Then there was the walk along the pier. Beautiful and damp with mist and glowing night lights. Happy new year to all.

Ellen Goodman

noreply@blogger.com (MMH) — Thu, 31 Dec 2009 04:45:00 +0000

If you've not read Ellen Goodman's last ever column, here's the link. For decades, she's been writing about our world - that would be the world of women - and all its shades of gray. We women have taken great strides and yet.... And yet, it hasn't all turned out the way we expected or hoped. Our daughters have 'more' opportunities, but less child care. They earn smaller salaries than male counterparts, but have jobs and careers in fields we could only dream about. They take things for granted thing we fought for. The word feminist is still harsh to our daughter's ears and they don't want to carry that mantle.
Goodman writes, "Today, half the law students and medical students are female. But only 15 of the Fortune 500 companies have female CEOs. We had the first serious woman candidate run for president . . . and lose. We had a mother of five, a governor, and a Title IX baby run for vice president . . . as a conservative. The Equal Rights Amendment was defeated because people were scared into believing that women could end up in combat. Now nearly a quarter-million women have served in Iraq and Afghanistan, 120 have died, 650 have been wounded. But still no ERA."

Remember the ERA? It was supposed to wend its way through the states with ease and then up rose incredible opposition to 'equal rights for women.' The opposition chipped away at it like they are chipping away at abortion rights today. What we didn't know in the early days was that battles won might be temporary or overturned or rejected. We thought we were going ever onward, way back in the day. Take another look. Women keep losing 'stuff.' Important stuff. So recall the chronicles of Ellen Goodman and push forward.

Four Days After Christmas

noreply@blogger.com (MMH) — Tue, 29 Dec 2009 21:58:00 +0000

I just discovered an hour ago that I've misplaced my long felted aqua and loden green checked coat that I purchased from Jinny Avery's friend a couple of seasons ago and is one of those 'life time' garments that you just don't 'lose.' I think I left it in the overhead bin of the plane on December 13. Have sent emails to Continental and traded inane emails with their virtual trouble shooter. We shall see what transpires. I love that coat, but lots of time has passed and I've been wearing the red cotton and bamboo pull-on knit coat that I got form Joni's in Houston. It's been perfect for these Seattle days, but then so would the longer, more precious coat.

So I am sitting here at Tulley's in Magnolia and email isn't working well here today for some reason. I think it has to do with my Godaddy email account, my perennial irritant.

Walked in the park this a.m. and generally did little or nothing at the house except to make a sort of to do list. Will get on up to Mom and Dad's shortly and perhaps even get to Macy's at Northgate to trade Dad's two new ties for a pair of slacks. He says he'd prefer a new pair of slacks to the ties. So be it.

I seem a bit at loose ends. Perhaps after visiting Mom and Dad, I'll simply drive all the way downtown to Pioneer Square and take a walk towards Elliot Bay Bookstore and environs. And try not to spend any money. Ha.

Oh, last evening I took it upon myself to boil a dozen of the large left over oysters and bake another dozen in the oven. Thought I would eat them, but only took photos of them. Have a dozen wonderful pairs of shells - to pack, to send to Houston? Right. The remaining shells are now out in Dad's vegetable garden awaiting crows, seagulls and raccoons.

Don't you love this photo of the two dads with my wonderful grand daughters in Discovery Park. We all have another very similar photo from several years ago with the two boys on their dads' shoulders. Need to put the two together.

Discovery Park at Christmas

noreply@blogger.com (MMH) — Sun, 27 Dec 2009 22:08:00 +0000

Mary B and I had never seen Discovery Park more crowded with people and dogs. And Mount Rainer was in evidence over 100 miles away. On a clear day it looms in the southern sky, way out of proportion to anything else.

Ubiquitous black berry bushes with little trails that lead into them for summer berry picking.

Random Family Holiday Photos

noreply@blogger.com (MMH) — Sun, 27 Dec 2009 21:23:00 +0000

OK, the afternoon is still young. The sun is still shining, but instead of walking and taking advantage of this gorgeous day. I will load photos on to this point. Only then will I walk. So, here are some of my photos of the kids and all the rest of the family. And then there are some more startling, or at least unusual, photos of me, because Mary B was here to take them.
Hey, Caroline got a kit and made this snow ball. Formed the little green Christmas tree and painted it, then stuff it full of water and snow and wrapped it up for Charlie Bean.
Lulu Bell is under that big towel. Hiding from us all after her bath.
Lulu Bell and her mom a day or two before Caroline's surgery.
Charlie turning the pages of the new book I gave him for Christmas. It's story about a circus boat that shipwrecks off the coat of Maine and all the animals are befriended by the citizens of a small coastal town. The very bad circus owner is flummoxed.

Lulu Bell and Charlie Bean, both intent on something on the steps at the Arapahoe house. I am sure it's a game on their mom's iPhone. Is there anything else that engrossing?
Kelan Bain and Lauren Grace opening gifts on Christmas morning from Mameau.
Mary B and I both served as elephants or camels for Lulu and Charlie. We were both great lumberers.
And here we are actually reading the book about the circus animals who took refuge in a small town in Maine.
And there we are, Mary B and me, ready for a walk in Discovery Park on Christmas Day in the afternoon. She sure is good at taking self portraits.

Christmas morning at Mom and Dad's. Busy opening gifts and generally bringing cheer.
Mom's taking a photo with my iPhone, but I think it's a self portrait. Seems pointed in the wrong direction.
Dad got a whole new wardrobe this holiday season.
This would be Jeanne and me on Christmas morning at the McGrady's. And what was so funny on her iPhone?
More Christmas morning at the McGrady's - a very short visit before they headed off to ski and we headed off to Mom and Dad's place to unwrap presents and spend some time.

Missing chile con queso

noreply@blogger.com (MMH) — Sun, 27 Dec 2009 21:19:00 +0000

Well, you've going to want to read Alison Cook's tribute to Houston's own Tex-Mex chile con queso. Always knew Houston's East End had the very best queso. Alison writes that some future scientist will probably "discover that chile con queso has a mysterious and beneficent effect on serotonin levels." Of course.

Family Day On Bonnie Boxing Day

noreply@blogger.com (MMH) — Sun, 27 Dec 2009 18:45:00 +0000

The sun is shining brightly in Seattle. It's the fourth day in a row of brilliant sun, blue skies and walks in Discovery Park. Yesterday, Bonnie Boxing Day, was our big 'family holiday' and, for whatever reasons, it was a good day - the clear skies and sunshine meant the kids could be both inside and outside, Christmas expectations were in the immediate past, we planned the event as a 'come as you are and not a specific moment', please bring extended family and know there is a place for everyone to sit at a table. All of these elements turned out to be good things.
Mary and I expanded the dining room table to seat a dozen and then added the drop leaf table with places for six. I pressed two of Mom's holiday table cloths, cut yards of English ivy and a bough of red berries from the garden for centerpieces, folks were bringing all sorts of food. It all worked. Kate brought Mom and Dad and had help getting them into the house and into their chairs. Wish I had a photo of the two of them presiding from their chairs on either side of the fire place. Though, they hardly 'presided' this year. Activity hummed all around them, but the life force was clearly with younger generations.
Shamus, Dan's dad, brought two buckets of fresh oysters that he gathered right in front of his house in Lilliwap. Dan set up his grill on he patio and those of us who love grilled oysters were in heaven. Kelan has been a fan since toddler age and can down a dozen easily. Yesterday Charlie got into his first oyster eating experience. He liked them. Hurray!Inside, the buffet was set with a great sized platter of ham slices, a basket of rye and cranberry wheat rolls as well as gluten free sliced bread (all bases covered), many layered bean dip (one side with black olives and one side with NO olives), two kinds of potatoes, green salad with green beans, Pink Lady apple slices and pomegranate seeds. On the stove were two big pots of soup that Jeanne made - a veggie hamburger soup and the peanut, garbanzo bean and sweet potato soup. All good stuff.
Kate brought the steamed Christmas pudding and I made a triple batch of foamy yellow sauce. Denny lit the 150 proof rum that we poured over the top of the pudding for its annual presentation at the table. Even when we darken the room, you can never truly see much of the blue flame. But, no matter. Pudding and foamy yellow sauce are divine and when John gets himself here at New Year's we'll steam it again and make a fresh batch of sauce.
After much pudding and sauce, there was the walk in Discovery Park. Which meant the house was clear to run a load of dishes and reshape the dining room back to its original dimensions and number of chairs. And have a little more Starbucks coffee. We had a twenty cup container and folks poured and repoured. We forgot the wine and the egg nog. Coffee was the beverage of choice. Who knew? We'll remember that for future gatherings and for picnics in the park. This is Seattle, after all.
So, there really is no major point to be made in this blog post, other than to say that four generations of our family, and family of extended family, met happily for good food and a celebration of the season.
Dad did not give his blessing this year. He asked to be relieved of this duty. I filled in with an overlong 'speech' , not a prayer, during which I read John's email from Houston. He should have been with us. John called as I was beating the foamy yellow sauce and the phone was handed around. Queta is in Iowa with her family and Chris is in California with Heather's family. So there were folks missing, but all in all, we sure had a pleasant time.
And, after all the family departed, Kate, Laura, Mary B and I caught the 4:30 showing of "It's Complicated." Full theater and we had to sit on the front row. I need to see it again from the back of a theater. Nevertheless, a terrific Bonnie Boxing Day thing to do. Nancy Meyer, you've made another movie for 'older women'. That would be someone my age. I can see the formula at work and it doesn't matter. I like it all anyway.
Hey, frustration lately at the Arapahoe house because I cannot blog there. The network I used to tap into if I sat in a particular bedroom of the house, isn't as strong as it used to be. Emails are OK and I can get the Google home page, but uploading photos and catching up on Facebook, forget it. It's back to Tulley's or my sister Kate's for free wifi.And just to keep this meandering post in perspective, heck, keep our lives in perspective...while we've been celebrating this holiday and I've been absorbed in finding a good internet connection, a Nigerian terrorist tried to blow up a plane landing in Detroit. He was subdued by passengers and crew. I believe that passengers are going to put up a fight and rush to the rescue when stuff like this happens. I don't think we'll be passive. we'll be flying differently from now on. Ready for battle? I understand there is a new reg in place. Passengers cannot have anything in their hands or laps the last hour of the flight. Not a book? Crochet work? An ipod? And only one carry on?

Crying All The Way Home

noreply@blogger.com (MMH) — Tue, 22 Dec 2009 02:52:00 +0000

Isn't 'crying all the way home' a song title, a nursery rhyme? Haven't I heard this phrase before? I've certainly lived it. Crying all the way home is not new. And I did it again this afternoon. Left Dad and Mom just after 4:30 p.m. I'd taken Dad to the dentist at 1:30 to get his bridge adjusted. The access to the dentist's office, by the way, does not have a handicap ramp for a walker or wheelchair. Dad has to clutch at a stair railing and pull himself up four steps as I ready his walker at the top of these steps. It is very complicated to take Mom or Dad anywhere. Dad always remarks that he loves to leave the adult family home because he can see normal people out and about without walkers. I wish he had the opportunity to 'get out' every single day, but it's not part of the program.
He spent a successful 20 minutes at the dentist and had his bridge filed or whatever and then we drove by the Ballard locks and up through Discovery Park and on past the house on Arapahoe St. Then we crossed the Ballard Bridge and stopped at Jeanne's house to see the kids out in front. They gifted us with a holiday card and an evergreen wreath from Kelan's school. After seeing the kids at the curb, we drove in terrible traffic toward Northgate toward the comfort of his chair and a snack of a home made cookie and a glass of juice.
Mom was still out with Katie on a Monday afternoon field trip to the mall so we had a few minutes alone together. Once again ensconced in his chair, Dad looked at me and said it brings him to tears to see Mother so mired in dementia. She was especially 'mind wandering' today. Sentences are unfinished or don't make sense. She wants to be up and out of her chair and off 'doing something.' And it is never clear to me what she wants to be doing. I look at an old lady who, several years ago, was a smart, competent woman. Busy with tasks all day long or into a New York Times crossword puzzle or had her nose in a book. She now spends her days in a comfy chair voicing thoughts that seem so jumbled that we cannot even have a simple conversation.

When I left, I thought I'd take in the first floor of Nordstrom at Northgate as a sort of compensatory act, but realized I needed to head to Jeanne's so, allowing for traffic, I'd make suppertime with the kids. Then I went through the procedure of undoing multiple locks and then using two hands at the same time on two different door knobs on either side of the gate - this to keep demented folks from wandering out into the world, that would be the street. That's when I burst into tears. No, not tears. Really loud crying. I cried as I triple locked the gate, I cried as I unlocked my car door, I cried as I pulled away from the adult family home where my parents live. Then I stopped the car and just cried.
This happens every once in a while here in Seattle. The city is a sad place for me. There are good parts to any visit, but rushing from house to house with the back drop of Mom and Dad's world becoming smaller and tighter is no fun. Seeing my parents dying slowly, inexorably declining, rolling down the slippery slope, but still with flashes of their former selves, gets me.

Then at red lights all along the way back to Ballard, I scanned recent emails, chuckling at the words from one friend off to Cape Cod, sighing at the words of another and quite overcome once again with Seattle emotion. Crying all the way as rain pelted the windshield, as car lights bounced before me, as the sky became totally black at 5:00 in the afternoon.

Off and Running

noreply@blogger.com (MMH) — Mon, 21 Dec 2009 00:06:00 +0000

I am packed up, car loaded. Ready to leave my basement abode at Caroline and Steve's and then be on call during the day time. Their refrigerator is loaded with food and dinners brought by friends. When Steve took Lulu to a birthday party this morning and Charlie went off on a play date, we wrapped 'Santa's gifts' for the kids. Mission accomplished.
Then I drove to Mom and Dad's for an early afternoon visit. Kate and I (and I take most of the responsibility here) sort of, or simply didn't, or overlooked, no, decided not to because they didn't bring it up...in any event, I did not take them to the 1:00 p.m. holiday concert at their church in downtown Seattle. I couldn't face it without a second party along to navigate the walkers up ramps and into the church. I couldn't face even getting Mom our of the car, even with those big wide white belts one can use for leverage. And so they didn't go to the concert and that was one of the first things Mom brought up when Kate and Laura arrived about 2:00 p.m. We said we'd missed it as it was last night and indeed, there were two performances. One last evening and one at 1:00 today. I will take their boom box with Mom's Christmas choir audio tapes to them tomorrow and at least, they can hear the Aruba choirs.
It is hard to get a conversation going with Mom and Dad. Dad so wants us to be there. He looks very tired as though he'd like a nap, but when we mention taking a short nap, he says no, he doesn't want to miss a minute of our visit. Mom has trouble getting out a complete thought. I think she is pleased we're there. I know she is pleased, but her mind wanders. Truly, what they need is to be surrounded by family and loved ones all the time. It sure must be lonely for them even though the care is excellent and kind. They've been shunted off, but it would be so hard to replicate the care they need and get in this adult family home in one of our homes. We or a caregiver must be 'on it' every moment, just as one would be attentive with a small child, watching out for their safety, remembering needs they cannot express, and seeing that they enter into 'life' moment to moment.
We chowed down a lot of caramel corn and regular Bartell's popcorn and even small paper cups of Dad's black berry liqueur that I brought from Caroline's house. I left just after 3:00, stopped for knitting needles for Caroline, bought a couple of stocking stuffers for her, got three movie tickets for George Clooney's new movie and will meet Kate and Laura at 5:15 at the theater. Then share supper with them. And finally, get to Arapahoe, unload all my stuff from the back of the car and sleep in a different bed in a different house.
Now it is a countdown until Christmas on Friday. We are beginning to plan for a family gathering on Bonnie Boxing Day. There may be 17 of us at the Arapahoe house. When Mary arrives, she and Laura and I will move tables around so we can accommodate everyone. We'll have Mom's Christmas pudding and foamy yellow sauce too. It'll be the batch she made just before she broke her hip. I remember taking the big bowl of pudding batter down to her physical therapy class at Virginia Mason so that she could tell them about making a wish and stirring the pudding. The batter sits for a week soaking in rum or bourbon and needs to be stirred. Stir and make a wish. That day lots of folks made wishes, so this pudding is filled with as many wishes as raisins.
Onward.

How It Is in Wonderland

noreply@blogger.com (MMH) — Fri, 18 Dec 2009 14:32:00 +0000

Here's what I can say about my days thus far in Seattle. It's hard work entering the lives of my two older daughters and their families in a meaningful and ‘good’ (whatever the means) way. It’s intense and always delicate as I move back and forth between roles of participant and observer. Where can I be helpful? When can I be useful? When am I in the way?

Each family has it own protocols and I am struggling to attune myself to them. Living in their homes requires discretion, intuition, sensitivity and a fair degree of nimbleness as situations and reactions change quickly.

Let it be known that I have these skills in varying degrees. Be that as it may, I wonder if every moment would be this complicated without small children and their demands and quite frankly, the mind games they play with we adults? Who knows? It is what it is.

So, moving right along, I’ll give the health update and then illustrate what goes on with photos and some word vignettes.

Steve and I brought Caroline home from the hospital around noon today. Her doctors say she is progressing, recovering, doing very well. Amazing to have major surgery and be sent home with good wishes in 2 1/2 days. But she is indeed ‘doing very well.’

Because her stitches and other evidence of surgery are inside her mouth and up her nose, Steve proffered what is a terrific idea. To remind the kids that Caroline has, in fact, had serious surgery and cannot lift small children or have balls or other objects thrown about in her presence, he suggested she wear bright colored bandages across her nose. When Charlie and Lulu see them, it’ll mean she still ‘recovering.’

Steve and I shared a tumultuous morning getting the kids off to elementary school and pre-school. Both Charlie and Lulu like their classes, their teachers and their friends. Both trot right into the school buildings once we’ve arrived at the curb. So, it is ever startling to me that each puts on such performances of not eating breakfast, refusing to dress or putting on a coat when leaving the house. As I write this, it occurs to me that morning rituals or the drama surrounding them actually have little to do with preparing for school.

I do understand that neither child had proper sleep last night and that their mom has not been at home all week. And they have been remarkably good about accepting her absence. However, I see all four of my grandchildren fight wearing clothes and saying no to food they actually like, resisting every day occurrences. These ongoing dramas are fueled by what exactly? I am so thankful that I live in Texas. Did I write that?

What missteps I make navigating through the days. The missteps may seem small, but they accrue. Is that the appropriate accounting term?

Let it be known that we all have evidence that my hearing is not what it used to be. I miss words. Most often it's the word on the end of a sentence. Last evening, Charlie curled himself up in the chair in front of the computer, saying he needed ‘something.’ Indecipherable to me for the simple reason that I can’t hear important words. However, I step into the room, into his space, to ask what he needs. He shouts, “I need space.” And Steve calls from the next room, “He needs space.”

Of course. Charlie has worked very hard to learn to identify when he needs to withdraw and collect himself or just be still. I was totally wishing I’d heard his request the first time around.

The evening before, I attended a holiday performance at Kelan’s elementary school. He’s in the choir and sang beautifully. The beginner’s band performed first and as the flutes began to play a few bars, I found myself on my cell phone. Not good. Our grown children will always tell us when we’ve erred. "Don’t talk on the phone,” Jeanne whispered, “because the person next to you may have a child performing right now.” Well, that’s a good point.

Can you see Kelan in the center of the front row with his knit cap on? His eyes never left the conductor. Good boy.

In Seattle, I navigate among households, remember at least two house alarm codes, use different sets of keys, different cars at different times (on which side is the gas tank on this one?) and allot fairly equal time among the houses except in emergencies or unusual circumstances.

Caroline says I always have something wrong with me when I visit. I don't think that is completely true, but this time I do have eyes that have gone nuts with redness and swelling. Actually, I think the cream proscribed by my eye doctor in Houston has made it all worse, so I am working on natural remedies now, soaking my eye lids with green tea bags and taking Queretin and a magnesium-calcium formula and lots of Emergenci and homeopathic runny nose and eyes pills under my tongue. Charlie photographed me this morning as we waited in the car for Steve to deliver Lulu to her classroom. It's not pretty. Charlie photographed himself too.

He lost his very first tooth last evening and I suspect the tooth fairy will be arriving for a visit tonight. If everyone has not already passed out with weariness upstairs. It's pretty quiet up there.

So, perhaps some more photos and fewer words now? Here's Lauren McGrady right up front watching the beginning band perform. Are those pajama bottoms she' wearing?

Jeanne made wheatless Christmas cookies this week and they're pretty good. She brought some over to Caroline this afternoon and I notice that Caroline has eaten them all but a couple of those little tiny angels.

Before her surgery, Caroline showed me how to open a pomegranate and extract the seeds. She freezes the seeds and they are terrific. You score the pomegranate and make individual sections and then drop them in a bowl of water. As you loosen the seeds they sink the bottom and the pulp floats to the top. Very exotic fruit. I've got a container filled with seeds in the freezer. The kids love the frozen seeds too. What a terrific antioxidant.

We are receiving a lot of dinners from Caroline's friends and I've been cooking too. She left a top round steak from Whole Foods in the refrigerator and after consulting the new edition of The Joy of Cooking, I seared the thing in a pan and then extended the juices with a cup of red wine. Steve and I have been noshing on it for two days.

Here's Charlie eating Cherrios after he asked me to light the candles on the Menorah. Cannot even remember when that occurred.

Here's Lauren as she looked this afternoon when she arrived with her mom to deliver the wheatless and frosted Christmas cookies. And the last photo is of Jeanne and Lauren leaving after their visit. Quite a pair, aren't they?

So, here's to love. What would we be without our families? Even if being with them requires a complicated mix of devotion, skills, humor and strong spirit. I suspect they need some sort of complicated mix of love and forbearance to weather my visits too.

The Next Day After Surgery

noreply@blogger.com (MMH) — Wed, 16 Dec 2009 18:03:00 +0000

Caroline told me today that she's met folks on Twitter that are having the same surgery as she's just had. She says that she's sent tweets to them offering support and hears back from them. She tells me that you can put a hatch mark before a specific word or subject in a tweet and folks will find it and respond when the subject matter interests them. A new way of connecting and then offering and gaining support.
I remember that at BlogHer conferences every breakout session, actually every single moment 24/7, was 'public'. Given this concept and Caroline's communications on Twitter, I've begun to wonder why I've been so reticent on this blog about saying exactly what Caroline's surgery entailed. I never know when I might overstep invisible boundaries. Might say too much for the world to hear or read.
So, I haven't blogged in earnest about Caroline's surgery. Instead, I've been sending emails to friends of my generation and I receive emails filled with concern about her health and well being. I'll bet few of my long time friends will ever read this blog post. Different generations communicate by different means. We use the phone and we email. Tweets and Facebook? Well, no. Not for major surgery.

Even so, here goes. My eldest daughter had a benign tumor removed from her pituitary gland yesterday. The surgeon said he had to scrape and dig at it. It didn't open up like vanilla pudding as some do. Her tumor began to sound more like a hard little nut with lots of tendrils. Who knew? She was in there for four and 1/2 hours while they pried it loose or dug it out or whatever it was they did. And she'll have radiation in about six weeks after the swelling is down so that her optic nerve won't be affected by the treatment. She'll be in the hospital for three more days while they monitor all of her systems.
And the thing of it is, she had a similar situation seven years ago and we walked those same halls in the hospital, except that she and Steve had no children then. The surgeon was delighted when he heard she was pregnant because it meant that her pituitary gland did not sustain any damage. Same surgeon, so we are confident that she's sustained no damage this time around either.

I was at the hospital just before seven this morning. Drove there in the dark and found that she had a terrible headache from lack of food and yes, caffeine. So I ordered breakfast for her: scrambled eggs, bacon, a bowl of oatmeal with brown sugar, a strawberry milkshake and apple juice. And I bought her a double shot latte. She scarfed it down and suddenly she said she felt much better. They also brought her pain meds, so the combination set her up for the rest of the day. She's been out of bed with the physical therapist and the occupational therapist, brushed her hair, brushed her teeth, keeps those leg tights on and those non-skid hospital socks.
And after we picked Charlie and Lulu up at their respective schools, Steve and I drove back to the hospital for a visit with their Mom. Charlie was interested and glad for some hugs. Lulu kept her distance. The sight of that nose bandage did her in and she'd have none of it.
Their visit was short and we ended up at Taco Time for a 5:00 p.m. supper.
We have every indication that all of Caroline's doctors are pleased with the results of the surgery and her continuing recovery. So, will Caroline be back on Twitter soon to offer new tweets to those folks that are facing what she's just faced? I suspect so and I suspect she'll feel support and some sort of kinship with these people who've been down this particular road. It's a good thing to find support and connections with others. Might it not be a good thing if we of the 'pick up the phone and call' generation get a little more tech savvy?
Maybe.

4 1/2 Hours

noreply@blogger.com (MMH) — Tue, 15 Dec 2009 22:31:00 +0000

So here we are, Steve and I, sitting in another smaller 'family waiting area' on the fourth floor adjacent to the wing where Caroline's hospital room will be. We've just spoken with her surgeon in a consultation room off the big family waiting room on the second floor. Caroline is now in recovery, having been in surgery from 9:00 a.m. until after 1:30, 4 1/2 hours. That's a long time, but the surgeon said things went well. As you might expect, it's been a strange sort of day. Steve and I have done a lot of visiting and every minute is about 'waiting'
At least there are a lot of windows in this UW hospital so we can see outside every once in a while and are not totally isolated in this giant interior warren of corridors and wings and walls.
Actually, the walls in this place are filled with art, one of the things I admired from our other experience here seven years ago. The art is varied and appears to line every single wall on every single floor. It's purchased with funds gathered through the UWMC Service League. So say the man placards. There are paintings, metal work, antique fabrics, glass, masks, collage and quilting. The art serves, for me at least, as a sort of signage. I can remember the way from point A to B and C by the paintings I pass.
And that terrific taxi-yellow chaise welded and polychromed steel sculpture by Carla Grahn is still on the third floor, in a new location, but still gorgeous and funky. I love it. It enchanted me when I first encountered it. What really got me seven years ago, as we came to the hospital day after day was the fact that at a certain time of day, the cleaning crew left a very full bright yellow trash receptacle right beside the chaise. I am sure they had no notion of the interplay between the trash container and the chaise. It was marvelous because it was so unintentional.
In this small waiting room where we are now ensconced for what appears to be a fairly long wait, a lady is constantly on the phone speaking a sort of Mediterranean language. Not quite Italian, perhaps Greek or Albanian? Her words and phrases roll up and down, filled with emotion. Other folks drift in and out, speak quietly and go softly. Steve wishes for an 'app' that would identify the language and translate at the same time. He makes his own translation of her many words that continue to rise and fall and fill the air.
Steve finally took his leave for a quiet, anonymous walk to get a coffee for himself and a banana for me. I have one of those buzzers or 'notification pagers' on the table next to me. It will light up when Caroline is at last in her room and awake.
I am attempting to get Jeanne on the phone. She'll be picking up Charlie from kindergarten in half an hour and will take him with Kelan to an after school sports session. We must renegotiate as I am not sure I'll be back in Wallingford at 5:00 to receive him. Either it's taking Caroline a long time to wake up or they are jammed in the recovery room and folks are waiting on guerneys to be moved to their rooms. I suspect the latter.
So, I am writing about the art, the cell phone conversations and rescheduling because what precisely can we say or think right now about the big reason we are here? My dear eldest daughter is slowly waking up after some major stuff and it appears that the surgeon was successful. But, how is she, really? How will she be in six weeks when the swelling goes down? In a year? In five years? She'll be just fine.
Here's Caroline at 6:30 a.m. this morning, getting more and more tubes and needles in her left arm in preparation for surgery. Throughout all of these 'getting ready' procedures, she kept her platinum wedding band on her left ring finger, saying she couldn't get it off. The staff kept telling her that it was just fine. Donna, one of the nurses who stopped by to introduce herself to Caroline and say she would be in the operating room, called Steve and me mid-morning to say she had Caroline's ring and would bring it up to the family waiting room. Interesting. I asked how she managed to get it off Caroline's finger. She said, "I'm an old nurse. I know all the tricks." And she proceeded to show Steve and me how you run a piece of cotton tape under the ring and then wind the narrow tape round and round the finger between the ring and the knuckle, tighter and tighter. Then one is able to move the ring over the wound tape and off it comes. She says they only do that when a person is knocked out because it hurts and her finger is likely to be sore tomorrow. When Kate called for updates I mentioned the ring and she said that Denny had taken rings off fingers during hand surgery many times the very same way.

P.S.
Left Steve and the hospital just after 5:00 without seeing Caroline. Off to Ballard and Jeanne's house where I found Charlie, Kelan and Lauren happily watching TV. Loaded Charlie into the car and away we went back along 45th St. to Wallingford. His Daddy called him on the way and Charlie explained just where we were and that we'd be home very soon. Charlie seemed to have had a very good day.
Karen Howard is bringing dinner and Vanessa is bringing Lulu home and I am very, very sleepy.

A Day Is Over When It's Over

noreply@blogger.com (MMH) — Tue, 15 Dec 2009 04:24:00 +0000

What a day. Awakened on an air mattress about 7:00 this morning when I heard Caroline with Lulu Bell in the kitchen making coffee. I called to them and Caroline came down the stairs with Lulu in her arms ready to crawl into my bed for a visit, which is what my girls always do in an early morning, but Lulu was having none of it. No sharing of her mom.
I'd been really cold during the night because neither Caroline or I remembered to get out comforters for the bed, so I was up in the night to put on a coat and grab the wool blanket from the couch in their den to add to my inadequate covers. Still wasn't enough. It's cold here in Seattle. We've now got the air mattress swathed in comforters. But tonight's sleep time will be really short because we drive to the hospital at 5:00 a.m. for her surgery at 7:30 a.m.
I think we are all nervous about it. The 'to do' lists Caroline's written and revised numerous times note where the kids will be and when and with whom. They are very detailed as are the lists of who will bring dinners. Caroline is an event planner by trade and her events usually go off without a hitch, even when they involve major stuff happening to her. Hope that holds true for the work they'll perform on her tomorrow. Caroline has even shown me what's in her freezers and refrigerators. They are loaded with Trader Joe's stuff.
I'll talk a little more about food here. This evening Charlie and I fixed a flower salad made on a dinner plate with slices of avocado, apples and boiled eggs. It kept him happily occupied and then he ended up eating half of it all. Lulu ate a bite of a hot dog and a bit of avocado and some fried cheese. Trader Joe's 'cheese to fry' is wonderful. White cheese, that when dropped in a frying pan with hot oil, gets crusty on the outside and is schushie on the inside. I'm liking it with green salsa. We've also eaten it with Wallingford honey.
After the kids ate, Steve and I finished off almost all of a Trader Joe's meatloaf and some rice with leftover green peas that the children rejected. We had a couple of beers too. Not sure what Caroline ate beside rice and fried cheese.
Today I saw Charlie's kindergarten classroom and met his teacher and the crossing guard. What a good school. A really big hurray for good public schools. Both of my grandsons are enrolled in Seattle public schools after thier moms and dads made very careful decisions. I couldn't be happier.
Caroline has been carrying Lulu everywhere since she had her tonsils removed a week ago. Is this constant need to be carried a reaction to the anesthesia or to the procedure itself? She's also having night terrors. Are these terrors also the after effects of the anesthesia?
This morning after dropping off Charlie, we went to the pharmacy on 45th street that has homeopathic remedies and got little 'under the tongue' pills for Lulu's night time troubles which she has resisted entirely.
I, however, also got little white pills for a very runny right nostril and right eye. Wondering with this onslaught is a continuation of the allergic reaction in my eyes that's been going on now for several weeks? Or something new? Hard to know. I am remembering the same right eye tearing incessantly for weeks last year, giving me quite a chapped cheek. It's happening again.
When Lulu was napping this afternoon, I took off for Mom and Dad's for a visit. I showed them the video of the opening reception of Second Seating with all it's speeches and mariachis. Mom requested this video well before the opening. Just before it was over, Katie arrived to take Mom over to the mall, a weekly one-on-one field trip. I stayed on with Dad for a one-on-one visit with him which was very nice.
Then back again to Caroline's and the kids and it sure gets dark early here in Seattle. Sort of like London when it's dark just after 4:00 in the afternoon. I know it was dark before 5:00 when I got into making that flower salad with slices of avocado, apples and a boiled egg with Charlie.
Oh, and after supper, I got both Charlie and Lulu into the tub where they played for 35 minutes, quietly and without incident and with lots of tub toys. Everyone is upstairs now awaiting the onset of sleep. That's the plan. The day is almost over.
And tomorrow is the really big day.