If you ever watch late night (or early morning) television, you see all kinds of weird products being advertised. When a certain type of ads come on the tube, you know that you are watching a really old movie or a sitcom that has been in reruns for 20 years. Like those ads for the about animal cruelty. Animal cruelty is not funny, but if an ad for the ASPCA comes on, you know you are watching television that no one else is watching. The other kinds of ads that tip you off that you have stumbled away from the beaten path is when washed-up celebrities start to pitch fishy financial products. When a formerly big name actor comes on the screen to talk to you about reverse mortgages, you can be sure of two things: a) this is someone who is broke after making more money in a year than I will make in my lifetime and b) no one should take financial advice from this person.

All of that got me wondering: What are the worst financial products that show up in television advertisements? Here is the list of my Top 10 Smarmy Financial Products as seen on TV:

#10: Buying Gold

Gold is not the worst investment in the world. Enron employees and Madoff clients have stock that they would gladly trade for gold coins or bullion, however, gold is not a practical investment for the average person for many reasons: high fees, high price, low intrinsic value, and the list goes on. Gold is often pitched as a hedge against the coming financial Armageddon, but unless you can eat gold, plant gold, use it to heat your house or fuel your car, your gold bars will be worthless if the worst should happen.

#9: Cash for gold

My children are always telling me to “get some cash for our gold”. What they do not realize is that we do not really have any scrap gold and if I did, the last thing I would do is put it in an envelope and send it to an appraiser who works for the same company that is offering to buy the stuff in the first place. If you want to sell your jewelry, fine, but I suspect you might get a better deal from the pawn shop a couple of blocks from your house.

#8: Whole Life Insurance

I fell for the Whole Life insurance pitch a few years back – biggest waste of $300 ever. You are much better off purchasing a term policy and investing or saving the difference between the term premium and the whole life premium. Whole Life is a great deal for life insurance companies.

#7: Auction Buying

I signed up for this one too several years ago. These are the advertisements that talk about the great deals you can get by buying houses, cars and other kinds of valuables through government auctions, foreclosures, law enforcement seizures, etc. The catch is that the only way you can find out about the auctions is usually by paying a monthly fee, but even after you pay the monthly fee, it is difficult to figure out where the sales are being held and even if all of that falls into place for you, you will never outbid the professional buyers. Buy at auction type memberships are not a scam, but you pretty much have to work full-time to make it profitable. You are better off keeping your day job.

#6: Liability Lawyers

There are times when real injuries occur because of real negligence, but many times these ambulance chasers are out to manufacture a scenario where a company has to pay up. Remember these trial lawyers are not really working for you and if your case does not pan out, you will never see them again. It is true that some folks win major legitimate settlements, but frivolous lawsuits just drive up prices for the rest of us. Just remember that the coffee you are purchasing from McDonalds is hot, very hot. That is the point of coffee.

#5: Bad Credit Car Loans

If you hear, “Your tax refund is your down payment!” or “Bad credit history? No problem!”, then you are probably watching an ad for a used car dealership that specializes in transportation for people who cannot qualify for a traditional car loan. I walked into one of these places not too long ago and they were dealing in loan interest rates of 19 to 28%! Not a good idea. You have to have other transportation options – mass transit, bicycle, walk, carpool, buy a junker for $500, skateboard, scooter and more. Not too many people need a car so badly that they have to pay 25% interest.

#4: Leveraging home mortgages

This is a get rich quick scheme aimed at home owners. Typically we are shown scenes of luxury and people “making $10,000 a week by working 20 minutes a day!” There are a lot of different permutations, but most require you to liquidize some of the equity in your home in order to purchase other property and eventually build an effortless stream of income. This was a really bad idea in 2007 and nowadays, the scheme has not improved much.

#3: Debt consolidation

Debt consolidation is a sneaky one. Combining all of your little debts into one great big loan might seem like a good idea. Who doesn’t want to lower monthly payments? The problem is that you almost always pay more interest over the long run and most people simply spend the surplus money in their budget and end up in larger debt than before. Just pay off the loans that you already have.

#2: Reverse Mortgage

Do I really have to explain what a bad idea a reverse mortgage is? If you have paid off your home and you need cash, sell the home and live off the proceeds. Don not dig another hole of debt. A reverse mortgage is just about always a bad idea, no matter what Robert Wagner has to say about it. If he was so good with his money, why is he pitching shady financial products on late night television?

#1. Payday Loans

Everyone knows that a payday loans is the financial equivalent of sticking your head in a plastic bag, yet payday loan stores are still popping up everywhere, even in neighborhoods that used to seem upscale. I once lived in a town where the aldermen forced such stores to display the average annual percentage rate that customers were paying in the front window. That sign almost dried up payday loan business overnight.

What are your top ten smarmy financial products? The only good thing about these commercials is that they allow me to watch television shows from the ’70’s and ’80’s in 2010!

Photo by D.C.Atty

It had been almost twelve months since I last saw a $125 Chase Checking bonus, then last week I received a $100 coupon in the mail and then yesterday, HustlerMoneyBlog posted a link that will generate a $125 coupon.

You can go through his site to get the coupon or try my link posted below. Here are the steps:

1. Hold CTRL and click on this link so a new window opens.
2. Log into your Chase account. I do not think you can generate the coupon without an active Chase account.
3. Stay in the browser and leave the two windows open.
4. Come back to the Rocket Finance page, hold CTRL and click the link up in point #1 again.
5. A third window should open and give you a $125 coupon, print it or write down the coupon code immediately.

Take the coupon to your nearest Chase branch and open a new checking account. In order to qualify for the bonus, you must open with at least $100 and set up direct deposit within 60 days. I have had success in qualifying for the bonus using both my work payroll direct deposit and ING Direct.

Remember that the account must stay open for at least six months and the $125 will count as interest income on IRS Form 1099-INT.

I printed off six extra coupons – contact me if you want one. They go really fast!

But the more I research the issue, the more I realize that the libertarians have it right. I support the legalization of many drugs that are now illegal, so long as legalization is accompanied by strong penalties for people who hurt others while under the influence of those drugs.

This goes against the policies enacted by one of my political heroes, Ronald Reagan. Intuitively, his “war on drugs” seemed to be the correct way to treat this issue, however, the last twenty-five years have proven that the government is ineffective in the struggle against drug use. Your brain on drugs will still look like a fried egg, but what you choose to put into your body is your business until it infringes on the rights of others.

This money is going into the pockets of government bureaucrats and contractors. Very little of it is finding its way into the paychecks of teachers or into the educational experience of our children.

This is the state of affairs in almost every government program we have in the United States. Yet, we continue to pour money down the rathole.

I had just about given up hope that Chase was ever going to revive its bonus coupons for checking accounts with direct deposit. Many of you have contacted me in hopes of finding a coupon over the past year, but I had not seen one since last April or May. Then, last week, we had one delivered to the house. The $100 bonus coupon was in a flyer that went out to everyone in our neighborhood.

Every, year, my wife and I open new Chase checking accounts in order to qualify for bonuses. The last couple of years, the bonuses were $125 apiece. An extra $250 is a nice way to start off the new year. We are still looking for a coupon for my wife, maybe one of our neighbors still has one . . .

Chase allows customers to redeem one coupon every calendar year. It is kind of a pain to change our direct deposit and close the other accounts, but the bonus is worth it. I don’t have any coupon codes to give away to any readers, but thought all of you might want to know that this particular bonus is still alive!