Blown. Away. I mean, like the first time you heard Joe Satriani’s Surfing With The Alien blown away.  Like when Terry Bam Bam Gordy rushed to the aid of former partner Michael PS Hayes to reform the Fabulous Freebirds kind of blown away.  Like finding out Bigfoot is real blown away.  (OK, granted, I haven’t discovered the legitimacy of Bigfoot, but man, if you did, you’d be blown away, right?)  That is what I’m talking about when I read Ghost Fleet #7.

I’m not even sure where to being with this one.  Donny Cates and Daniel Warren Johnson are clicking on all cylinders right now with The Ghost Fleet.  I could start with the fact that we finally find out what the Ghost Fleet was hauling around in the back of that semi for Roland Cohle and his culty friends, because we totally find out what the Ghost Fleet was hauling.  (It’s not what I thought it was going to be.  These boys are good now.)  I could talk about how Trace drives a semi-truck out of the back end of a crashing plane… in the first seven pages.  I could talk about how Ward finally finds his courage, or about how Mickey Reno’s shirt keeps changing/narrating what’s going on around him.  Or I could talk about the Trace/Cohle showdown that’s about to happen at the end of this one.  But telling you about it wouldn’t be doing it justice.

I mean, yeah, I could describe what Joe Satriani is doing on the title cut of Surfing With The Alien, but you wouldn’t get it until you heard it.  And I could tell you about how cool it was to see Michael Hayes run out with Terry Gordy to face the Mad Dog Buzz Sawyer and The Destroyer, but you couldn’t hear the crowd react, or see the faces in the audience, or hear Gordon Solie as he makes the call.  The Ghost Fleet #7 is one of those things you just have to experience.

And I have to say, congrats to Donny for giving Cohle the best line in the issue, and I quote, “Fuck off and shoot straight.”  While I’m not giving you much context, trust me when I say that this one line, while still being all kinds of funny to me, gives you a lot of insight into Cohle.  Taken in context, you really see where Cohle’s priorities lie.  He is of a singular mind, and it’s shortly after making that statement that you understand much more clearly as to why he is so focused.  I dig this book so much.

Donny Cates and Daniel Warren Johnson are building a mythology of biblical proportions here and all I can say when I get done reading their stuff is, “Damn!”  (That’s a legit quote by the way.  Out loud even.  No one was in the room with me either.  I got done with issue #7 and just said, “Damn!”)

5 out of 5 Awkward T-Shirts

Do you ever have those feelings, those little tremors of premonition that say, “This is going to be good”?  Like the first time you heard that power chord hit on Ronnie James Dio’s Rainbow In The Dark.  You knew Dio was going to slay it vocally, but then that power chord hits, those keys kick in, and it’s on.  You know this is going to rock out loud.  That’s the feeling I got when I read the first page of Burning Fields #4.

Call it coincidence, call it Fate, call it weird, but I’ve been listening to Dan Carlin’s Hardcore History, Wrath of the Kahns.  It’s all about how Genghis Kahn rose to power.  When Michael and Tim open this issue with a story about Genghis Kahn, a story I had just heard retold in this podcast not two days ago, I knew this was going to be the issue that makes this series for me.  And it did.  Don’t get me wrong, like Dio on vocals, Michael, Tim and Colin have been delivering every month with a fantastic story steeped as much in myth and mysticism as it is in real world issues.  But man, this one steps right off the supernatural cliff with eyes wide open, and it rocks out loud.

When Dana and crew investigate the tunnels under the oil field things get very weird very quickly.  I was reminded of the book House of Leaves and the movie Event Horizon.  The very fabric of reality was shifting in front of their eyes.  Tunnels were appearing out where before there was just a rock wall.  Where there was only one tunnel, now there were several.  There’s a touch of madness starting to bleed through the very walls.  And as Ghada finally reveals to Dana exactly what all these symbols on the tunnel walls mean, as he relates the story of the Great Demon Asag, it’s as if his telling brings Asag closer to reality.

And then the final few pages.  I’m not going to spoil anything, but man, things just got crazy real for Dana, and well possibly the world.

I have to say, as much as Michael and Tim hit it out of the park story wise here, Colin is killing it in this issue.  There are so many times when in this issue where the story is told through the eyes of several characters, and Colin nails it.  He’s able to bring those subtle and sometimes not so subtle emotions through his art in what seems like an effortless manner.

Burning Fields #4 is the issue that makes me want to go back and read the first three again, it’s that good.

4.80 out of 5.0 Dissolving Hands (read it, you’ll see)

Only Jack Burton could make Hell seem like a place that wouldn’t be too bad really if you just, you know, did your thing and didn’t buy into its’ hype.  Of course, that might only work for Jack Burton.

I’m not going to go into a ton of detail on this review, simply because I don’t think it’s necessary.  This book is a ridiculous amount of fun.  Period.  Eric Powell is bringing a genuinely fun and funny story to the page that strikes true to the heart of the source material.  You can hear Kurt Russell speaking the lines on the page right into your head.  (Or at least I can.  Of course, the voice in my head often sounds like Kurt Russell.   But sometimes it sounds like Abe Vigoda.  Those are some dark times… dark, dark times.)

Visually, Brian Chruilla is continuing to match Erics’ story panel for panel.  I particularly like how ridiculous yet utterly bad ass Jack looks when he walks off wearing his poker earned demon spoils.  He’s like some kind of Mongol Barbarian striding through the depths of Hell.  And when Jack offers to buy the gator faced demon a beer at the Last Bar in Hell, the look of sheer joy on that green dudes face is priceless.  And I’m not sure why Brian drew that pudgy little demon with pokey nipples, but it happened.

I dig this book.  If you like, well, fun, you should pick it up.

4 out of 5 Pokey Green Nipples

My review of Hexed #9 wherein I realize it’s totally ok for me to like Ace Frehley singing lead on Shock Me instead of Gene or Paul.  (Stick with me as I’m pretty sure this analogy makes sense.  It’s better than my original one which I may or may not share after this review.)

So, if you’re caught up on your Hexed reading, which you should be, then you know that our big hitters, Val and Lucifer, are basically off the board for now.  So this issue we see Raina and Bob take center stage, and I have to say, they really hold their own.  It’s always a risk making such a big change to your main character like Michael did with Lucifer.  He spent seven issues establishing roles, developing those characters and letting them all find their groove.  Then, Wham!  Things change.  But now with Raina filling the roll of team Captain rather nicely, it feels right.  That’s a credit to Michael for being able to slowly grow Raina’s character over the first eight issues to the point where it might be a bit uncomfortable for her to make that step to lead singer, she nails it.  Granted, I never imagined that Bob the body guard/door man would ever make the leap to side kick, but man, Michael really sells it and makes it work.

Speaking of making it work, let me just say how freakin’ pleased I was to see the ghost of Reginald, Val’s cat, turn into a complete bad-ass, demon-slayin’ beast.  Reggie wasn’t messin’ around.  The cat is a legit contender.

I’m crazy diggin’ Lucifer in her new role as The Thief.  She looks so bad-ass it’s spooky.  When Lucifer and Fastrada have their little face to face, it’s something to see.  So damn good.

Michael and Dan are putting out a really good supernatural book that just keeps getting better as it gets darker and darker.  And they do this with their big guns on the bench (for now at least).  So if you’re saying to yourself, “Yeah, I like Raina and all, but can she carry an entire issue?”  I say, “Let Ace sing the damn song!  He wrote it for cryin’ out loud!  Do you two have to sing every freakin’ song?  You let Peter sing Beth and Black Diamond, let Ace sing one!”

(OK, is Ace the best singer ever?  No.  But it was refreshing to hear that change up with him on lead vocal and he held his own.  Just like Raina.  Hey it’s better than my first analogy, which going to be that I liked the Midnight Express more than the Rock n’ Roll Express.   But that didn’t make sense because the Midnight Express were way cooler than RnR.  I know that was a stretch, but I couldn’t force myself to say I liked the N.W.O. B-Team better than the main N.W.O. roster ever.)

4.75 out of 5 Reggies

I dig peanut butter. I mean a lot. I was practically raised on the stuff. I also really dig pickles. Love dill pickles. I can eat tons of them. I never thought of putting those two things together, but apparently, some folks do. (Including my Mother, which I find super weird for all kinds of reasons.) So imagine my surprise at how satisfying I found Archie vs. Predator #1. Bravo fellas. Bravo.

Honestly, I thought there was no way I was going to be into this book. I haven’t read an Archie comic in ages. (Yeah, I read Archie comics back in the day. Shut up. They were fun.) But when I did, I always liked them fine. And yeah, I was a huge fan of the Predator movies. I actually liked the second Predator movie a bit more than the first, but that’s a whole different discussion. I really had no idea how Alex de Campi was going to make this mash-up work. But you know what, people like peanut butter and pickles, so I’ll give this a go. Besides, I had heard good things about the Afterlife with Archie book that was out a while back so I thought, why not?

I must say, I’m completely cool with this marriage for several reasons, not the least of which was the art of Fernando Ruiz. I have to say, this looks like an Archie book should. So hats off to you Fernando, this book looks exactly the way it should.

But I’m telling you, Alex de Campi hits it spot on with working Predator into the life of Archie by not trying too hard. Alex manages to stick with the familiar tropes of both these properties and they happen to work really well because of it. The Archie gang doesn’t veer off into weird sci-fi-esque stylings of the late ‘80’s/early ‘90’s action films. And Predator isn’t watered down and repositioned as an alien teen infatuated with Veronica. The Predator is the Predator. He hunts people down. And yes, he hunts folks down in the first issue and collects his trophies. (Skull and spine for those of you wondering.) And the scene where you discover this is appropriately gruesome. And even though this is an Archie comic, you get to see two corpses hanging upside down from a tree… one with no head. This is exactly what you would expect if Predator killed some folks in Archie’s world.

By not shying away from what/who Predator is and just placing that character into the world of Archie, Alex has managed to take this peanut butter and pickles sandwich and serve it up in a really delicious way. So, while I will definitely be reading the rest of this series, I’m still not sold on the whole peanut butter and pickles idea. (I know, I know, I should really try it. But seriously, it just sounds gross.)

4.5 out of 5 Jugheads

I’m a sucker for team books.  I’m a sucker for cool looking costumes.  I’m an even bigger sucker for cool looking bad guys.  I know, Captain Midnight isn’t really a team book, but he ends up with a fairly cool team by the time this issue is all said and done, so yeah, I’m a sucker for Captain Midnight #21.

Admittedly, I have not been keeping up with Captain Midnight.  I plan on fixing that oversight pronto.  (Pronto?  Do people say that anymore?  I mean I just did, but wow, it felt weird.  Oh well, I’m sticking with it.)  I have absolutely nothing against Captain Midnight; I liked the first few issues I read.  It unfortunately fell off my radar.  But, big credit to Dark Horse and the boys for doing a crossover right.  A crossover is supposed tempt you into checking out a book you normally wouldn’t or hadn’t been reading.  In this case, the vigilante of Arcadia, X makes a guest appearance in Captain Midnight.  Now, I dig X a lot.  So, because I like X, I thought, “You know what?  I should give Captain Midnight a go, see what’s up.”  And it worked.  I dig what’s happening in here.

Joshua and Manuel are serving up some really solid action scenes.  There’s an appropriately gruesome opening scene where we meet X for the first time this issue.  There’s some cool back and forth between X and Helios that is just twitchin’ to turn into an actual knock-down, drag out brawl.  And the panel with Captain Midnight, Helios, The Mark and X all running down the street… that’s a team book I’d look at a lot.

But it’s not all action, action, action.  Joshua and Manuel also serve up some pretty personal moments between Cap and Joyce, the woman he was ripped away from when he got himself hurled into the future/our present.  There’s also a nice subplot with Captain Midnight’s Scooby Gang (yeah, I called them a Scooby Gang) doing some atypical Scooby Gang stuff.  Instead of hanging around waiting for the word from Cap, they form a plan and figure out a way to infiltrate Black Sky on their own.  I really liked that aspect of this issue.

Plus when you throw in a cool looking bad guy at the end, my little geek heart just grows three sizes.  Unfortunately, since I haven’t been keeping up with Captain Midnight, I don’t know who the half-metal-dual-sword-wielding-snake-on-his-chest guy is.  But man, he’s cool looking and I’m a sucker for cool looking bad guys, so I don’t even have to know what his name is to know I want to see how this pans out.

So I either picked a great time to hop back on to Captain Midnight; because cool things are happening… Or a really bad time, because we’re just a few issues away from the end of this run of Captain Midnight.  Either way, good things are to come.

4.5 Out of 5 Scooby Gangs

This is just flat out, pulpy goodness wrapped up in some really cool art.  What more could you ask for out of these two pulptastic heroes?  (Do I mean Conan and Sonja?  Or do I mean Gail and Jim?  The answer… Yes I do!)

Conan / Red Sonja is, I imagine, what some folks might call a “guilty pleasure”.  I would say those people have some kind of weird sense of guilt.  It’s fun.  And I don’t feel one bit guilty about me being pleased with this book.

-But Doug, don’t you think “Sword and Sandal” Fantasy is a bit droll?

Um, no.  No I do not sir or madam imaginary critic of my reading choices.  Besides, who says “Sword and Sandal?”  I always thought it was Sword and Sorcery.  And Droll? (Hold on while I Google “droll”….) Ah, gotcha… Nope.

-But the female is barely wearing clothes…

And still kickin’ big ass.

-And the male is a physically imposing lout.

Now wait a minute…Lout?  Ok, that might be accurate, but again, he too is kickin’ big ass.

-Are we to believe these two bandits are so skilled in the art of combat that they can easily defeat seven well-armed assailants?

Um, yeah.  They’re heroes.  It’s what they do.

-I still don’t see how anyone coul….

Just wait a minute.  Have you read Conan / Red Sonja?

-Well, not all of it, no.

You looked at the preview art and didn’t actually read any of it didn’t you?

-…..

That’s a yes.  Look at that first page.  See the looks of determination on their faces?

-They do look rather steadfast, yes.

But you can feel that they are facing uneven odds at best and yet from their faces alone you can tell they are bound and determined to succeed, correct?

-I do get that impression, yes.

Now turn the page.  That’s a hell of a splash page, yes?  Conan and Red back to back.  Conan has a chain, Red has a sharp stick…And they’re surrounded by seven warriors.  Doesn’t that just look cool?

-That would take a rather stout strength of character to stand up to those odds, yes.

But it looks cool right?

-I will say that is a rather striking image, yes.

And after the fight, where’ they’re standing over their fallen foes (looking pretty bad ass in their victory I must say), and Red Sonja hurls the trident into the chest of the King that put them in the pit in the first place… You have to admit, that’s some ballsy move right there.

-It wasn’t your typical end to a disagreement, you are correct.

And as we move on we see Conan, or as you call him, the “physically imposing lout” looking rather forlorn right?

-Hmm, that doesn’t seem very heroic.  Wait, is Belit his love?

Got it in one.

-And she is lost to him?

Yeah, she died.

-He seems…

Heartbroken?  Yeah.  He is.  He’s also a bit regretty over his violent past.

-Regretty?

Don’t start with me.

-Let me guess…The fiery haired heroine “comforts” the brute with her physical charms.

Keep reading…

-I knew it!  Wait… what’s that on his arm?  Eeww.  Oh, that can’t be good.  What is that?  Wait.  She isn’t going to cut off his arm is she?  She can’t cut his arm off!  That wouldn’t make any sense!  How are they going to… Oh, that can’t feel good.  I cannot believe he just did that.   How did that even get on his arm anyway?  Thoth-Amon?  Evil wizard type.  That seems like something a villain named Thoth-Amon would do…No.  He’s not going to make them… Seriously?  He wouldn’t.  Wait?!  That’s it?  But what happens?

See.  I told you.  Fun.

-….

Well…

-Fine.  This book does have its merits.

Damn right it does.  It’s super fun and looks really good while being super fun.

-Can I keep this?

Sure.  Knock yourself out.

Well that got out of hand rather quickly.  My point is this. Gail and Jim are delivering a really solid book with two iconic and charismatic lead characters.  And Randy Green’s art is rock n’ roll for the eyes.

4.75 Out of 5 Imaginary Critics

Reading Rocket Salvage, for me, is like watching Lucha Libre wrestling.  It’s big; it’s bold; it’s colorful; it’s fast paced; it’s a bit over the top; but most of all just plain fun.

When it comes to over the top action, Rocket Salvage has you covered.  In this issue, the top rope action is highlighted by Primo’s daring prison break and subsequent escape in the shell of a rocket.  I mean, c’mon, he’s escaping in a nuclear missile for Pete’s sake!  (OK, I have no idea who Pete is or how that even became a saying.  It is a saying right?  It’s not just some hyper localized colloquialism that popped up in semi-rural East Central Illinois that I and maybe six other people remember hearing in our youth right?  Or is it just something my Dad would say?  Note to self:  Google “For Pete’s Sake”.)  Add to that, the coolness of Zeta learning to master her Mechakenisis and blowing stuff up along the way.

One of the things Lucha Libre does well is work comedy into the action without upsetting the flow of that action.  Kind of like Rocket Salvage does.  And thanks to Zeta when she asks Utzman if he was in prison for being a moron, I laughed out loud.  (Nope.  Not going to type the short hand version of Laugh Out Loud.  Not going to do it.  It’s one of those things I just don’t do.  And won’t do.  A guy has to have his standards.)  Clearly Utzman is the comedic punching bag here, but he’s also a fairly important lynch pin to this story.  So again, nicely done Rocket Salvage.

But in spite of all the over-the-topness, (pretty sure that’s a word now.  But even if it’s not, it is at least accurate.)  Lucha Libre can be some of the most heart-felt storytelling of its kind… Just like Rocket Salvage.  It’s blatantly clear that Primo cares deeply for his family, no matter how dysfunctional they may appear.  Besides, how awesome does flashback Primo look in that opening panel with his near mullet hair and classic handlebar mustache?  Plus, little Beta and his eye patch.  That’s family right there.

So all in all, when I say Rocket Salvage is like Lucha Libre, it’s nothing but a compliment.  No matter what your flavor of Lucha may be AAA, CMLL, or Lucha Underground (by the way, if you’re not watching Lucha Underground, you totally should be.  If you like the pro wrestling that is.  It’s really solid.  Good matches.  Nice action.  And Vampiro is a really rock solid color announcer.) or just dig that kind of action; you should give Rocket Salvage a few minutes in the ring.

4.5 out of 5 Huracan Ranas

I’m going to make this one short and sweet: This comic rocks.

For those of you who want more specifics, I’ll continue, but rest assured, the end result will be the same.  Ei8ht is one of my favorite looking comics out right now.  I absolutely love the aesthetics of what’s happening in the pages of this one.  Granted, I’m a bit biased by being a fan of Rafael’s art since I first became aware of it in the pages of American Vampire, but still… this thing looks great.  It’s not just the line art, but it’s that limited color palette Rafael is using to help tell this tale.  It’s fantastic.  I know I talked about it in my review of issue #1, but damn, this thing still looks good.  And that limited amount of red used really makes those pages pop.

But this is more than just a good looking book.  The story is more than holding up its end of the bargain.  I’m so down with this time hopping sci-fi fantasy adventure it’s crazy.  I’ve said it before that good art can help elevate a passable story.  Of course, bad art can also drag down the coolest of stories.  But in this case, the visuals are as much a part of the story as the dialogue or characters or setting.  It’s a very integrated piece of storytelling where every element is carrying its weight effortlessly.

I really dig the slow burn reveal of Joshua’s memories as he pieces together his original mission.  It’s a cool way to reveal to us as readers what Joshua’s backstory is as he relearns it for himself.  I’m also digging The Meld itself.  The collection of miss matched people, places, and things just sort of slam banged together and being forced to eek out an existence.  And the time hopping nature of the story telling, you know I dig that.

Mike and Rafael are serving up a unique story, with a unique setting, in a unique way.  That’s a lot of unique in one story.  And it rocks.

4.5 out of 5 Slam Bangs

I do like me some sci-fi action, and that’s exactly what Shaper #1 delivers.

Eric Heisserer calls Shaper his brand of Space Opera, and rightly so.  Eric unloads plenty of drama all couched in a lavish looking futuristic/space setting.  The bulk of that drama revolves around our main character, Spry.  We meet him as an orphan with a ton of potential but a bit of an attitude issue.  He’s a lost soul searching for connection and meaning, the veritable diamond in the rough.  We find out quickly that this kid who has unlimited potential locked away just beneath the surface…, literally has unlimited potential locked away just beneath the surface.

Eric puts all the pieces on the table for you to look at, ogle over, and whet your appetite for more in this first issue and it works.  I mean a race of shape shifters that pass down all of their learned forms to their offspring?  That sounds cool.  Of course these cool shape shifters, or Shapers, are not popular with those in power.  Unpopular may be an understatement.   Shapers have been nearly hunted out of existence to the extent that some folks think that Shapers are just a myth.  The things of legend.  (Obviously this isn’t the case, as we find out before the end of this first issue.)  But when we see them change shape, man, that’s pretty freakin’ cool.  So I’m in on that regard.

And of course the main Pro/Antagonist (depending on your point of view) is a complete bad ass by the name of Tor Ajax.  (Now that’s a name, son!)  I’ve said it before, I’ll say it again, I love a cool lookin’ bad guy.  Even the more plentiful shock troop baddies look pretty cool.  So yeah, I’m in here as well.

I’m even down with what I thought was going to be a bit too meta of a plot device, the card game Heroes of the Caliphate.  I tend to get a bit sketchy when it comes to self-referential hooks in comics, books, movies, what have you.  So when Spry was teaching a fellow student how to play this card game in the opening scenes, I wasn’t sure how I felt about it.  I mean, these cards are based on people and events in the story being told.  Tor Ajax is one of the cards.  But then, after I read a few more pages, it clicked and I dug it completely.  Of course it makes sense for there to be a card game like Heroes of the Caliphate.  In a world where Shapers are seen as the bad guys, for lack of a better term (since it’s not exactly defined as to how folks see Shapers in this world), of course you want a piece of propaganda that supports that view.  It’s actually pretty clever.  So yeah, I dig that too.

And I’m in on the art as well.  Felipe makes this first issue pop and look really good.  Tor Ajax looks like the bad ass he appears to be; the Shapers look cool in their new shapes (one turns into a freakin’ fire breathing dragon!  Hells yeah!);  And the space ships look cool and alien.  I don’t know if they would actually fly with that design, but who cares!  It’s cool lookin’!

So keep it comin’ boys.  I’ll read me some Shaper Space Opera Action.

4 out of 5 Holo Cards