Roger Smalls

chewbaccas dingleberrys

roger_smalls@hotmail.co.uk (Roger Smalls) — Sun, 15 Jan 2017 10:38:00 GMT

i was watching star wars the force awakens yesterday and it has kept me awake all night wondering if chewbacca suffers from dingleberrys. with all that long hair he must be susceptible. for someone who was meant to bridge the gap between star wars and star trek the director jj abrahams missed the opportunity for a storyline involving chewy battling the klingons.

dungballs

merry christmas!

roger_smalls@hotmail.co.uk (Roger Smalls) — Sat, 24 Dec 2016 21:39:00 GMT

i am looking forward to christmas this year. although i dont have a job and mothers gland continues to play havoc i am being positive. 2016 has seen a lot of people die, i am not one of them and this is something to be happy about. merry christmas!

Poem dedicated to Kate Upton

roger_smalls@hotmail.co.uk (Roger Smalls) — Mon, 7 Nov 2016 21:07:00 GMT

Cushion for the pushin'

Have you ever wished you could step back in your memories?

Ever longed to walk along a nice beech?

Have you ever wanted to eat endless cake with a lovely woman?

Or fallen deeply in forbidden love?

Ever waited out in the rain all night for her to come home?

Ever shit in a Dyson Airblade?

Looking at the stars longing for the next time you’d see her?

Some of us gratify this love and others can only dream

boy racer logic

roger_smalls@hotmail.co.uk (Roger Smalls) — Mon, 10 Oct 2016 20:39:00 +0100

why do boy racers hit the gas and speed off when they see a prettygirl walking down the street? today i was thankful that i was on a really slow bus as it gave me ample time to admire womens bottoms and hairs

junior doctors striking again

roger_smalls@hotmail.co.uk (Roger Smalls) — Wed, 31 Aug 2016 22:09:00 +0100

junior doctors complaining that they have too much work, i'm complaining i have none. i feel very worthless these days & life feels wasted. but at least i'm not french.

does meat go to heaven?

roger_smalls@hotmail.co.uk (Roger Smalls) — Tue, 30 Aug 2016 19:56:00 +0100

i was wondering if meat goes to heaven. if so, does the meat go to the afterlife when the animal dies or when someone eats the meat? please answer this.

meat

Competitive baking tv shows

roger_smalls@hotmail.co.uk (Roger Smalls) — Thu, 25 Aug 2016 23:09:00 +0100

tonight i was due to see an old collegue for drinks as my jobseekers paid out today and have some cash to splash. however he cancelled at the last minute becuase he said he missed the tv show 'Great British Bake Off' and wanted to stay in tonight to watch it on iplayer. this saddens and enrages me that a tv is more important than friendship.

i wish i had real friends and a girlfriend. no one sits on their deathbed looking back on their life thinking 'i wished i had stayed at home more and watched competitive baking tv shows'. people call me stupid to my face all the time, but sometimes i wonder if it they who are stupid. i wonder if stupid people wonder about stupid or clever people wonder about stupid people. i am going to bed this is too confusing and i am lonely.

Mary Berry

jeremy corbyn train footage

roger_smalls@hotmail.co.uk (Roger Smalls) — Tue, 23 Aug 2016 20:52:00 +0100

i am so confused by jeremy corbyn and the recent train footage where he sits down. i want to support him as he promises free money for people like me so i dont have to find work. i also like his communist views and songs but when i see him only pretending to be a communist by sitting down when there are seats available on a train i think he is pretending to be a marter.

maybe the clothes he wears are also an act and he is being Faux Povvo instead of genuinly dressing badly. the whole reason that everyone likes him is becuase he comes accross as an underdog and every time he turns up to parliment dressed like a tramp upsets the establishment.

i will still vote for jeremy corbyn but would like to see him be more impoverish in the future and actually mean it so he can teach the conservatives a lesson. being in a position of power means he now gets things free and is expected to dress up for a queen who he hates, but his roots are about being poor and musky. he is in the same predictment as when rappers from crompton get wealthy then noone takes them seriously when they sing about being in da hood when they now live in gated communitys. we jeremy corbyn supporters must close ranks and ignore this train footage evidence planted by corporate fat cats and perpetuted by all the media.

jeremy corbyn

can i use tinder without a smart phone?

roger_smalls@hotmail.co.uk (Roger Smalls) — Wed, 10 Aug 2016 21:04:00 +0100

a lot of obese men i know use tinder to get girls and clamydia, does anyone know how i can use tinder without an iphone? i wish to use it to get dates (one offs with nice looking girls or long term relationships with girls with low self esteem if possible, not fussed) but cannot afford an expensive contract.. tinder users are not bothered about the caliber of people they date so i think i would be in with a good chance with an unclean women if i used a good enough group photo with a strong enough instagram filter. however i just need a way to run tinder. please help.

ISIS have piles

roger_smalls@hotmail.co.uk (Roger Smalls) — Fri, 29 Jul 2016 21:46:00 +0100

every time a terrible attack happens from ISIS they always show a video of the terrorsts sitting on the floor stroking their little guns in front of a funny flag. i know if i sit on a cold floor for too long i always get grumpy and piles. maybe ISIS members are misunderstood piles sufferers where they feel the only solution is die.

the west should buy furniture for everyone on the terrorist watch list to nip some of these feelings in the bud, i dont think anyone has ever commited mass genocide sitting in a comfortable sofa eating jaffa cakes before. even if its a nice stool from a charity shop it will give them something to sit on, ease their hemmoroids and maybe not being so angry about things.

piles

sadness riddles the internet

roger_smalls@hotmail.co.uk (Roger Smalls) — Mon, 18 Jul 2016 20:24:00 +0100

i am saddenned every time i look on the news and internet due to all the shootings and terrorism and the racists. it makes me sad and weep with so much death. i have resigned myself to watching reality television and reading pamflets until the there are happier things to read and watch.

outside i am smiling

inside i am grim

outside is positive

inside weeps

for this is just a brave front

up yours isis

Diseased meat

roger_smalls@hotmail.co.uk (Roger Smalls) — Wed, 13 Jul 2016 20:43:00 +0100

this week i went to a european food market and a furry german attempted to sell me cured ham. i find it sad as a result of brexit that europe is already trying to palm british people off with diseased meat no matter if it is feeling better or not. i am only going to allow british pork to enter my body from now on.

brexit has made no difference

roger_smalls@hotmail.co.uk (Roger Smalls) — Sun, 26 Jun 2016 14:56:00 +0100

i have been to the supermarket this weekend and brought exactly the same food shopping as last weekend before brexit. i have compared the two receipts and the costs of the food are exactly the same - in fact i have saved 40 pence with a 2 for £2 deal on some nice packs of bbq walkers bugles. i dont see what all the fuss and scaremongering was about with the prices of everything going up if we left europe and have seen little evidence of this in the high street. it seems the fat cat supermakrets have been able to absorb the growing multinational fiscal debt and weak value of the pound in order to offer some great deals on bugles and other confectionary. so its not all doom and gloom after all.

unaffected

referendum vote time tomorrow

roger_smalls@hotmail.co.uk (Roger Smalls) — Wed, 22 Jun 2016 20:59:00 +0100

tomorrow we must decide as a nation to vote to stay or leave europe. i still dont know what to do. i think people want to stay in europe becasue they dont like change, and i think people want brexit because they are old. i dont think my life can get any worse so maybe i will vote leave. or maybe not. i dont know.

can i become an uber driver without a smartphone?

roger_smalls@hotmail.co.uk (Roger Smalls) — Sun, 19 Jun 2016 18:12:00 +0100

does anyone on here know how uber works if i dont have a smartphone? things are so bad right now and i cant even afford a samsung.a couple of people i know on jobseekers are on uber and they tell me they are making lots extra and its a good opportuntiy to get to know girls.

uber

my sadness need not turn to anger

roger_smalls@hotmail.co.uk (Roger Smalls) — Mon, 13 Jun 2016 21:39:00 +0100

anger will not bring back those in orlando
anger will not stop footballers being naughty
although also negative, sadness is better than anger
sadness is better than anger

other than that nothing much has happened today, i went to the job center, walked around and brought food.

a sad day for gay communties and the french

roger_smalls@hotmail.co.uk (Roger Smalls) — Sun, 12 Jun 2016 20:13:00 +0100

i am very sad about the nightclub shootings in america and also the bad things happening in france. i am embarresed to call myself english after seeing the news of english football fans beating up frenchmen and russians. i makes me feel like weeping when bad things happen.

my heartfelt comiserations go out to all people affected by these trategies.

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-3637414/Everyone-running-Gunman-bursts-gay-nightclub-Florida-shoots-20-people-taking-hostages.html

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-3636705/The-Big-Kick-Hundreds-England-Russia-fans-clash-running-battles-streets-Marseille-ahead-tonight-s-Euro-2016-match-baton-wielding-police-fighting-tear-gas.html

brexit racist name calling

roger_smalls@hotmail.co.uk (Roger Smalls) — Mon, 6 Jun 2016 22:29:00 +0100

if i think about staying in europe their opposition ask me to check the facts.
if i think about voting to leave europe their opposition call me racist.

if such a big decision as voting meant that half the country was racist wouldnt that be against the law? i dont like being called racist as i dont think i am. i dont think that votingshould be down to name calling. i still think if we stay in euorpe i will be intitled to more benefits money so maybe.

so many thoughts.

cookies notification

roger_smalls@hotmail.co.uk (Roger Smalls) — Tue, 31 May 2016 21:41:00 +0100

i have this message from blogger:

European Union laws require you to give European Union visitors information about cookies used on your blog. In many cases, these laws also require you to obtain consent.

As a courtesy, we have added a notice on your blog to explain Google's use of certain Blogger and Google cookies, including use of Google Analytics and AdSense cookies.

You are responsible for confirming that this notice actually works for your blog and that it is displayed. If you employ other cookies, for example by adding third-party features, this notice may not work for you. Learn more about this notice and your responsibilities.

i cannot change the template to add this message so you will just have to read the message above. if you do not agree to 'cookies' then either leave, break european law or vote brexit.

my thoughts on president trump

roger_smalls@hotmail.co.uk (Roger Smalls) — Sun, 29 May 2016 23:16:00 +0100

i understand he is a successful igorant racist old businessman. i am not sure if this is good or bad. on the positive side he is successfull and a businessman - it is good that businessmen are successful and i would want someone successsful leeding me. he is racist though with isn't nice, especially if you're not white. but he is old. and old people tend to be ignorant racists so its to be expected. so i guess its part of the bundle. if wrinkly was a bad thing we'd have to accept it as its part of being old.

a lot of politicians tend to fail at other things so go into politics the same as teachers go into teeching. to have someone who owns towers and has there own reality tv show is a sign of success not failer so i dont see what is wrong. i don't know enough about the little jewish yoda man or hillary clinton who opposes trump so wont be able to decide who to vote for even though i cant vote. i wish obama would stay as he is nice.

trump towers

poem to the recipient of a rejection letter

roger_smalls@hotmail.co.uk (Roger Smalls) — Tue, 24 May 2016 19:09:00 +0100

you may test me

you may interview me

you may reject me

but you will never take my freedom

nor take my self esteme

or my weekly job seekers allowance and disability benefits

may i emerge from beneif the shadow of uselessness

to the bousem of gainful employment

drinking from the bountiful teat of a regular wage

i'll show YOU mr fancy pants

YOU and YOUR beige vauxhall insignia

i'll show YOU and YOUR exhaust pipe filled with POOP

just remember while youre on your fancy word proccessor

wearing your fancy shirt

and rubbing clean your fancy vauxhall insignia exhaust pipe

i'll be the one at home with mum

NOT YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

i'll be the one

please share this poem with anyone unemployed to comfort them

post job interview releaf

roger_smalls@hotmail.co.uk (Roger Smalls) — Fri, 20 May 2016 03:28:00 +0100

i feel very tired, i had my job interview today then went out with some of the other candidates for drinks and just walked back from a nice club. i drank water and dint do very well with the man. i am worried but we all thought we shouldnt be hard on ourselves even if do get the job. it was good to get practice in with interviews even if i dont get the job. at least the goverment paid for my new shirt.

YOUR HIRED!!!

job interview

roger_smalls@hotmail.co.uk (Roger Smalls) — Thu, 12 May 2016 19:41:00 +0100

i am very happy today as i have found out that i have a job interview next week. that is all i have to say.

new email address

roger_smalls@hotmail.co.uk (Roger Smalls) — Fri, 6 May 2016 21:20:00 +0100

i am having the technical problems and changed my hotmail account to .com so if anyone needs to contact me please email roger_smalls@hotmail.com . i am interested in friendship and romance and not spam, epsically if you look like my ideal woman below please contact me for dating opportunty.

is this you and are you lonely?

holiday spoilt

roger_smalls@hotmail.co.uk (Roger Smalls) — Mon, 2 May 2016 20:40:00 +0100

when you dont have a job every day is the same. may day was supposed to be special but today just felt like any other day trapped at home. no where to go and no money to spend.