Rolla Mornings Live

Amateur Night at the Gallows

2007-01-03T14:39:00.000-08:00

Congratulate the Kurds, swing with the Shiites; get in sync with the new government, Sunnis.

Whatever is next, the wicked witch of the Middle East is dead, despite the muted complaints from the Munchkins of appeasement in Europe, the Vatican , and the American right and left.

Oh the hand wringing!

You’d think the Iraqi’s had murdered Jesus and all the apostles…on Good Friday.

Flame throwers are expert at producing hot air

They’d have you believe Saddam; was executed too soon, too late, on a holiday, before a holiday, was tortured, was danced around, was argued with…teased, had too tight a rope…too loose a rope, was unfairly tried, was executed before he was supposed to, was dangled too long…not long enough, should have gotten life, execution will cause more violence, etc., etc., ad nausea.

And, Oy Vey, the pick ‘em up truck his body was transported in? Who was driving it, Larry the Cable guy? SHOCKING!

And to top it off, the Sunnis won’t like us.

SO WHAT???

They didn’t like us before the war. Remember Osama?

At least Iraqi Sunnis can recognize the destruction Saddam caused fellow Iraqis just to keep himself, Uday and Qusay in business.

At least 80% of the Iraqi population is thrilled Saddam and his rape room sons aren’t coming back, despite what the liberal press says. In a country where very little is accepted as fact, Saddam has been feared for over 25 years…justifiably so. Smuggled or not, the images were clear. Saddam and his evil seed are gone…forever. Seeing is believing.

Besides if left alive, President Hillary RODHAM/clinton would have Hussein pardoned for a modest million or three contribution to her “Library”. Saddam’s net worth was estimated at $57 billion. (It’s good to be the despot…until they string you up.) After all, this week’s story is she made a boo-boo voting for the war, greens fee for running on the Democratic ’08 ticket.

The pardon would happen just after she was sworn in and before Bill had a chance to interview the new flock of interns to the White House.

Hello, information here. This is Saddam Hussein we’re talking about. The man murdered and tortured enemies, many the very same Iraqis that Bush Senior told to trust us in ‘91…then abandoned for the UN. Hussein dispatched whole families, their friends, and their babies. These enemies were made an example of, as a warning to anyone who was considering stepping out of line.

Men, women, children.

It mattered not to Saddam. Hell, he dispatched his members of his own family when he felt threatened. It must have been Hell contemplating that last serving of falafel at the palace dining room table with Hussein staring at you.

Almost all were tortured and murdered without benefit of even a thought of a trial that Saddam received. The lucky ones were spared by having a quick death without seeing family members ripped apart before them. The bodies were summarily dumped in mass graves, without the religious cleansing and proper Muslim burial, demanded by some for the very monster that perpetrated his form of “justice” for his fellow Muslims.

Where was the outrage then? Where was the UN? Where was the Vatican ? Where was Europe ? Where was France ?

Most were in his pocket in one way or another. The others? Who can explain the mental illness of appeasement?

I can’t.

Besides, the Iraqi Dictator was a mortal enemy to the USA , AND his neighbors.

I know because I have Democrats on record telling us so, then voting for war twice, the first time under Bill Clinton, before 9/11 changed us forever.

The most important inheritance you can leave your country is the example you set in life.

If anything, Saddam was outraged because he was being “tortured” by pure amateurs. I’m sure he would have gleefully postponed his swing under the gallows just to give a few pointers on how to be a real beast.

On the other end of the world, President Bush has set the example of what even a beleaguered commander in chief can accomplish with a weak, yet voted in Democracy.
The most important reason to rejoice in Saddam’s demise is exactly why he murdered so many.

It should serve as a deterrent to some of the other leader mongrels. They don’t want to die. They just want others to die for them. Osama, Ah’m Mad, Zawahiri, and Jong, may not give up…yet, but they have been put on warning.

Remember our new buddy Gaddafi? He wised up when the first Marine hit Iraqi sand.

Winning is not a four letter word.

The only way to win this war…and it’s a long way from being won, is to kill enough of the leaders. They aren’t in the dying business. They’re in the power business. Dying is for the expendable.

On the other end of the world, President Bush has set the example of what even a beleaguered commander in chief can accomplish.

Now if only those Munchkins can just follow the yellow brick road long enough to let our president win this war…

The great, great, great grandson of Frankenstein

2006-12-27T06:14:00.000-08:00

Noted politician, Internet inventor, public decrier of all things Bush, and all around Liberal Extraordinaire, ex-VP Al Gore has come down from the clouds. He was doubtlessly in conference with the almighty, Willard Scott. Al declared global warming as an "Inconvenient Truth." Alas, the common folk blamed for their contribution, have been ordered to buy fuel efficient vehicles, called hybrids.

For my part, I now carry four hybrids in my bag and use a battery driven golf cart VS my old gas guzzler. No sacrifice here. I've cut my handicap by two and have saved enough on gas to buy my wife a cheap boob job…a clearance rack.

I hear the History Channel was cancelled…too many repeats

Sadly for Al, many have not given up their TV. Occasionally, my remote ends up pointing at the History Channel. I was watching the history of Napoleon and his disastrous retreat from the frozen Russian tundra in December of 1812. I heard it was cold because of a strange epoch called the Little Ice Age or LIA.

You see, the LIA began in 1250 and lasted to 1850.

A 600 year's Ice Age. Just 157 years ago. WOW! Who woulda thought? I didn't catch that on CNN.

Professors dumped on Al so much, he had to take out a permit as a landfill.

While some scientists inexplicably side with Gore in blaming the current earth population for future dooms and gloom, many experts dissent. Even I know the industrial revolution and its' epidemic of pollutants and ozone eating Freon and Co2 came after the entire world's cooling and warming history.

Of course there's ample evidence that man made Co2 does NOT create global warming.
Paleoclimatologist Professor Tim Patterson explained when Co2 levels were 10 times more than they are today some 450 million years ago, the earths' temperatures were the coldest than at any time in the last 1/2 billion years.

Professor Bob Carter of Marine Geophysical Lab at James Cook University, Australia, used the words "pathetic," "weak," and "circumstantial" to describe Al's "Inconvenient Truth."

Our fabulous and fair UN has declared man half as much responsible for global warming as Al has accused him of.

However, the pressure not to contradict Al Gores' hot flashes has brainwashed some in the senate that believe free speech ends with Al Gore's nutty theories. Senators Snowe and Rockefeller have demanded Exxon Mobil cease and desist in funding any scientist with a view contrary to Al Gore and the rest of the weathery nuts.

This may be far-fetched, but I believe Al Gore has an ulterior motive for wanting us to believe we're in for a scorching.

History has a way of burning off the fog of propaganda.

You see, in 1816, 34 years before the end of the LIA, a young woman named Mary Shelley took a June vacation to Lake Geneva She was hoping to get a lot of R&R outside on the water and shore.

Those 12 months were notorious as the "year without a summer." The people Mary was with decided to stay warm indoors and have a ghost writing contest. One guest, Dr. John Polidori came up with The Vampyire, later used by Bram Stoker to create the modern shocker.
Mary could think of nothing.

However, in the middle of the night of that wintry summer, she had what she called a walking dream where the story of "Frankenstein" played before her eyes.

Other than the obvious physical similarities between them, if you Google Al Gore with Shelley and Frankenstein, you find 677,000 hits…coincidence?

"24 cans of beer in a case, 24 hours in a day…coincidence?" (Steven Wright.) Methinks not.

There is as much evidence that Al Gore is the Great, Great, Great grandson of Frankenstein as is the global warming "truth" frothing from his mouth.

So, I ask. Is Al Gore interested in so-called Global Warming? Or is it a deke to hide his real identity and its' cause, the 600 year Little Ice Age from which Al's spiritual forbears, if not literal ones came from.

In fact, according to the UN, the most devastating effect on the environment is caused not by planes, SUVS, or Co2. What's more harmful?

Cow manure.

That brings us back to Al Gore. Even Frankenstein couldn't overcome the wrath of the pitchfork wielding villagers.

Al Gore has been deemed irrelevant by something a little lower on the food chain: fertilizer, better known in popular vernacular as bullsh-t.

Harry's Leftovers (12/23/06)

2006-12-23T14:17:00.001-08:00

"'tis the season to be jolly....". Maybe....maybe not! Things seem to be a little slow on the local news front this time of year. I'm not sure if it's lack of effort on the part of the newsies or if we really go into a lull at this time of year. But it always seems a good time to be out with the old (leftovers) to make room for the new. So here is some of my end of year house cleaning.

TCOB.....It is the holiday time so there always seems to be some holiday expectations. I think I'm starting to notice some real backlash with all the PC crap (oops!) about this time of year. Seems like I get one or two emails a day poking fun at the PCness of some businesses and people around this time. I am absolutely tired of it myself and I don't think I want to play anymore. So, let's take care of this holiday business: For me and from me it's Merry Christmas. That's my holiday and I wish everybody the best of what it means. And it's OK for my family to also be wishing a Happy Chanukah. But if that's not enough for you, I hope you have a good--whatever you're into--but my wishes have to come from what I believe.

CHRISTMAS SEASON IS JUST TOO LONG! If you know me, you know that I am an avid TV watcher. In browsing the TV guide this week, I noticed that networks are even showing reruns of Christmas shows that played only a couple of weeks ago! When the hype and advertising for the holiday have gone on for so long that the media mogels can't even fill a schedule, it's gone on too damned long! No wonder people get shopped out and worn out over the holidays. I couldn't carry-on for five weeks even when I was 40 years younger!

I TOLD YOU SO! You may recall that I bemoaned the departure of Martin Schwartz as the editor of the RDN. I also wondered how long it would take to slip back to the "old" RDN. Have you noticed that we no longer get a posting of gasoline prices on the front page (or anywhere else)? These disappeared about the time Rolla's prices started going all over the board and Rolla suddenly jumped to some of the highest in the state. Is that a coincidence (insert your favorite conspiracy theory here) or laziness? Have you noticed that the Monday front page is usually features and fluff rather than hard news? I guess nothing happens in our sleepy little town from early Friday til Monday morning. I guess I miss the passion that Martin brought to the paper for the brief time he was among us.

ANOTHER CONSPIRACY THEORY? Seems that President Bush just signed into law a series of tax changes (deductions) that will benefit many tax payers. The problem is that these changes came about AFTER the IRS printed tax forms for this year. So there is a good chance that a lot of people who could benefit won't notice or know how to apply the deductions. The result--overpayment by many tax payers. At a time when we have one of the biggest deficts in ages and have a costly war to pay for, is this "overcollecting" just a coincidence?

WHERE OR WHERE HAS MY CABLE TV GONE...? Are you aware that both the Fidelity Cable franchise and the City's agreement with Channel 16 expire in a couple of months and, although the City had a "blue ribbon" panel working this year, we could be facing screens of gray fuzz in the near future? No one officially seems to be too concerned, but that's the way we often do business--the big rush at the last minute. The combined meeting time for two City Council meetings in December was less than an hour and a half. Wouldn't this have been a good time, without any other pressing issues, to get some of this taken care of instead of waiting for the clock to run out?

SPEAKING OF BUSINESS AS USUAL.... The City Council did approve a new agreement with the Chamber for the tourism tax. And it's far better than the previous agreement! At an earlier meeting, Councilman Magdits called for more specific benchmarks--measurable points of progress--to be included in the agreement. Approval was actually postponed so this could happen. Councilman Magdits missed the last meeting and others pushed to approve the agreement without the new benchmarks. We'll learn what the Chamber is really supposed to do and how we will measure their progress in March or April--AFTER the agreement has already taken effect. Seems like business as usual between the City and the Chamber--here's the money and tell us sometime how you spent it for us.

AND JUST A TASTE OF THE NEW.... Is TIF really going to happen? Will UMR still be here next year? Will be getting a "Lions Club" upscale grocery? What new I-44 exit? These are a few of the issues to be addressed during my predictions for 2007. Tune in this week and see!

And finally, I'll close with my usual prayer: Lord protect me from those who have no sense of humor and take themselves too seriously. And protect them from me! Grant me the knowledge to recognize the idiot in the room...and give me the wisdom to keep my mouth shut when the idiot is me!

P.S. Have a Happy New Year! If this isn't your new year--have a nice day!

The Borough Park Playoffs

2006-12-19T10:13:00.000-08:00

By Joni Weinbaum

My first anniversary trip with my new husband was an obvious choice. New York has always been one of my favorite places.

OK, Rio was close behind but I hadn’t updated my passport with my newly married name, Weinbaum.

Yep, I married a Jew.

I knew my husband shared the same love of NYC as I did and it seemed appropriate that we would spend our first anniversary in the city that never sleeps. David doesn’t sleep either. He often wakes in the middle of the night to write…something that makes me envious. We are usually on the same page on most issues but mostly, I am drawn to his passion for writing and baseball.

Being in the city for five days, we did our share of theatre and comedy as well as enjoy the natives in the local sports bars. We were missing our own St. Louis Cardinals home games during an incredibly exciting week of playoffs. Marriage is indeed a sacrifice; but who knew, that the Cards would ever make it to the World Series, much less win the whole thing?

Our busy schedule included a first time meeting with the chief editor of Jewish World Review, Binyamin L. Jolkovsky. We planned a lunch with Bin in Brooklyn ’s Flatbush at a kosher restaurant, The Jerusalem II. What was as much of surprise as the menu was the man who was waiting for us. A younger than expected, man of thirty five or so, Bin was dressed to the tees in suit, tie, and yamulka.

Bin’s eyes were soft and quiet, and he sat as if he was uncomfortable with the time he was about to commit to us. He immediately assured us he was happy to meet us and time was not a problem and yes, he had not been to sleep since the day before and it was approaching one in the afternoon. After lunch and few photos, Dave and I were ready to catch a subway back to Time’s Square for the three o’clock Cardinal game.

Bin, eager to show off his beloved Brooklyn, insisted Dave and I would benefit from a walking tour of an area that boasts the highest population of Jews next to Israel ; Flatbush and Borough Park .

I guess the Cardinals would have to wait.

Borough Park was a bit of a hike so we chased a bus for two blocks. David played track star making sure the driver wouldn’t outpace us.

I think the men hadn’t noticed I wasn’t wearing my track shoes. Flagging a cab had to be easier but this wasn’t Manhattan and I didn’t want to seem a sissy; after all I am the only one who got a night’s sleep.

We didn’t have enough change for the fare but Bin got us on with one word to the grumpy driver: “Tourists”. The driver rolled his eyes and grudgingly let us on board while the locals chuckled.

Upon arriving at the main drag in Borough Park I was overwhelmed by an amazing feeling of festivity in the air. All thoughts of Busch Stadium would have to wait as I stepped off the bus and into another world.

This was fascinating!

Sukkot, another Jewish holiday, was tomorrow and all the pedestrians were rushing to get ready. Preparation for this holiday is serious business as families with small children, all in conservative dress, walked on the crowded street to finish their days shopping. We were elbow to elbow with baby strollers and shoppers carry bags. The smell from nearby bakeries hovered with fresh bread.

Bin, explained earlier, his household was expecting several guests and his job was to do buy the food as his wife had a full time career and a long commute. He also had to return home to finish editing AND he had afternoon prayers.

I begged him to stop walking and get some of his shopping done. Besides, my high heels were starting to pinch my toes. Painstaking activities had to be done before dusk prayers and something was telling me our host was running out of time.

On the other hand, the wig stores and toy shops along with tailors and tanners…darn I wanted to join the fun. The women’s hats stores had the most ornate and colorful designs so I took it upon myself to stop the men and wander. I was clearly a tourist and didn’t want to be rude by schlepping one of their beautiful headdresses on my untidy coif. Oh, did I mention that I was the only woman in the entire borough to sport slacks? There wasn’t a female without a long, modest dress.

I grabbed my camera to capture one of the most beautiful sights I have witnessed in the American landscape. Young boys, behind endless tables that lined crowded sidewalks, were dressed in the formal attire of the culture and calling out as vendors in a ballpark. All claimed to have the best, not to mention the most affordable, merchandise.

Two plants were displayed meticulously: a long green palm and an etrog, a bumpy green fruit that resembles a lemon. Later I found out the long straight palm branch represents the spine and the etrog fruit represents the heart. Separately, these parts have the potential to be used for sin, but were joined together in the performance of mitzvoth or commandments. These symbols weren’t cheap either and each man held them up to study as if buying a diamond. WOW!

“Bin, what’s the scoop here?! You’d think it was a groom picking out his bride’s ring!”

“Well, that’s not a bad analogy.”

Analogy, I thought. Boy, am I clever but how am I going capture this on paper?

What was most apparent was the amount of peace I felt being in the midst of these people and the number of children being led by pregnant young moms, insurance the traditions this Judaism, a religion which is father to my own, will live on.

I felt connected to this culture yet I felt and looked so out of place. I could only be a tourist here but the questions I had kept coming and time was running out.

We finally thanked and bid Bin Shalom.

David and I made it back to Manhattan in time to catch the last couple of innings of our beloved Cardinals. But, I couldn’t stop thinking about what I had just experienced in Brooklyn .

As we walked back to the hotel that evening, we began making plans for next year.

Forget Rio, NEXT YEAR IN JERUSALEM !

RUN LIKE A LIB, GOVERN LIKE A BUSH

2006-12-19T10:07:00.000-08:00

Elections are like Mistletoe. Ya get under ‘em and you gotta kiss who’s already there.

Dems promised in exchange for our votes to:

Impeach Bush
Cut and run Murtha style.
Enact ALL 9/11 committee recommendations.
Impeach Bush.
Bring back the draft.
Raise taxes.
Impeach Cheney.
Amend the Constitution to include a Terrorists Bill of Rights by trying them in American courts defended by American lawyers instead of military tribunals like was done in previous wars. The anti-USA ACLU is licking its collective chops.
Rid the country of that nasty NSA wiretap of terrorists, lest we make Bush look like he’s been effective at warding off ALL ATTACKS SINCE 9/11/2001 on American soil.
Impeach Bush.

Elections humble what power corrupts.

Okay, so Dems won with leading the fanatics in a fantasy of Lib ecstasy. That particular dream of watching Bush, Cheney, Condi, Rummy, Rove, Card and Bolton perp walked in cuffs down the White House front lawn wasn’t very realistic anyway, was it?

Getting to the peak is one thing. Before you can fly off you have to check your bearings, fuel, wings and resistance. Reality and political logic seem to have set in.

Impeaching the President? Dropped quicker than new Senator Webb’s intended left hook to the President’s jaw.
Rangel’s daffy draft dredge? He was last seen with his pie hole duct taped, on his way to Cheney’s old office. Heard Nancy had to use two rolls.
Link up the Bush Administration to a chain gang in Alabama ? Except for soon to be acquitted or pardoned Libby, not even an indictment, much less a conviction.
9/11 recs? Buried lower than John Kerry’s presidential chances.
Cut and run? Carl Levin now “listening to the generals in the field.” Sound familiar? Murtha was Swift boated by his own party.
Tax increases? Dems NOW want to make a whole slew of Repub tax cuts permanent! The party of billionaire and multi millionaire leaders has realized their faux passé.
The terrorist bill of rights and NSA/ Patriot Act are still up in the air, but give the Libs a chance. The next election isn’t for almost 2 years!

The nutty left must be livid!

Never kiss a woman with botoxed lips, unless you’re carrying the antidote

I consulted Democratic meeting facilitator, Oprah Seed, on what all this meant. She believes that the Dems are getting smart.

Pelosi, Reid, Schumer, and Emmanuel, played their cards to power via a hate Bush, wrong war, Repubs are corrupt hand. The flop paired up with the voters desires. The Repubs, all in, folded like a cheap towel.

Now in control, Dems seem to be acknowledging we are at war and if it wasn’t Iraq , it’d be somewhere over “there”, that Bush isn’t running in ’08, and they have as much of a corrupt mess to clean up of their own congressmen before the next election cycle.

They ran to the left and are governing to the center. Clinton did the exact opposite, at least until he lost both houses in ’94.

Could it be the Dems plan to STAY in power?

As Oprah said, the way to find the politician in a snowball fight is to look for the one throwing curveballs.

Let’s see how long their arms last, before their Lib money managers pull ‘em for a true southpaw.

Harry's Leftovers (11/9/06)

2006-11-09T16:05:00.000-08:00

Wow! It's been a month since I've done some housecleaning. So I guess that makes it time to clean the shelves and clear the air. So here is some stuff I haven't been able to throw out in a while.

"We hardly knew ye...." I am saddened and disturbed by the departure of Martin Schwartz from the Rolla Dailey News. I feel some pride in saying before that the guy was too good and too smart to be at the RDN very long. In the short time he was here, he raised the level of professionalism at the paper, restored a lot of faith in that medium, and gave us an unbiased look at the workings of the City, RMU, and other organizations which pretended to be "public bodies." And it was obvious that some of those entities were not used to having their actions reviewed publically. I thank Steve Sowers for giving us Martin, even for a short time, but I worry about how long it will be before we regress to the old "Rolla Dailey Snooze" without someone like Martin at the helm. Time will tell.

An observation. Next time you are out-and-about in a rain storm, notice the number of people who still haven't caught on that State law requires your car lights to be on when the wipers are being used.

Are these folks for real???? I am increasingly concerned and alarmed by the number of tv ads which use stylized video-game type characters to hawk products and services instead of flesh and blood people. Charles Schwab investment ads come to mind. Here is my concern: has this generation played so many video games with these stylized characters that they no longer realize these folks aren't real. It appears so, if a noted brokerage house uses them to market and endorse their services. Sad,....tres sad!!!!!!!

I raised a question on the morning show a couple of weeks ago: Are some people too dumb to be allowed to vote? I think the folks in the above will fall into that group for me.

Is UMR (or whatever) behind the curve? Based on comments by Councilperson Wiggins and the need to do something with our own Rolla National Airport, I proposed on-air this morning that UMR take on the airport as a project with the city--establishing their new research park and being creative in addressing new energy and infrastructure needs. This very afternoon, I read in the Columbia Tribune that the City of Columbia is going to buy wind-generated electricity from a company founded by (formerly Rolla's own) Tom Carnahan, who is a lawyer--not an engineer! Doesn't that put the home of THE state technological university a little behind the curve? It does in my mind.

PS. Has the Chancellor realized his folly? I noticed this name change thing has certainly been under the radar and out of the news lately. I just hope we are not in for a big surprise!

Some final election follow-up: It's not my job to be the election commentator, but here are some things I find interesting as a voter and a citizen. I'm sure some of my Republican friends will be offended.

Mr. Ashcroft lost his senate seat to a dead guy and got a job in the Bush Administration. At least Mr. Talent lost to a living candidate, so what does Mr. Bush have in line for him? (Is that too irreverent?)

I like that we have senators from different parties. This puts the concept of representing Missouri to the test--shouldn't they now vote together more than differently, if they are truly putting Missouri first? Can't wait to see the finger pointing and hear the excuses on that one!

I thought Mr. Bush was very presidential at his post-election news conference. He did and said things I would expect from my president. (Yes, he is my president, even if I didn't vote for him). He said he believes everyone wants the same things--good education, strong economy, feeling safe--even if we disagree on the methods. That's a starting point for working together. So here is the challenge and the test--anybody can lead when all the advantages are yours. Now that the Republicans don't control congress, but still control the veto pen, it becomes a test of leadership to get things done. For both sides!!!!

I am amazed when I listen to the excuses and explanations as to why the Republicans lost ground, especially in Missouri. Senator Bond said he felt the recent Republican scandals contributed. Another explanation was that stem cells brought out a large vote and the Democratic success paralleled that issue. Another was the minimum wage issue brought out people who don't usually vote. I know it is important to analyze, but at the same time, don't overlook the obvious--just maybe after being in power for so long, they are a bit out of touch. I think this happens when any party is in power too long--party arrogance. I also see stories about finding a strategy to regain power or control. I may be naive, but shouldn't it be about something on a little higher plain than power and control?

Was I the only one disappointed when Senator Talent said he did not regret the tone of his campaign?

And finally, I'll close with my usual prayer: Lord protect me from those who have no sense of humor and take themselves too seriously. And protect them from me! Grant me the knowledge to recognize the idiot in the room...and give me the wisdom to keep my mouth shut when the idiot is me!

JOHN KERRY’S TO DO LIST FROM 10/30/06

2006-11-02T09:37:00.000-08:00

JOHN KERRY’S TO DO LIST FROM 10/30/06

1. Service the “cash cow”-ugh! X
2. "Hunt” for Thanksgiving feast in downtown Boston . X
3. Throw out rejection letters from MENSA. X
4. Check out widowed Billionaireses on Match.com. X
5. Buy his Lerch costume for Halloween. X
6. Go to ATM and cash $20 million check from –ugh- Teresa. X
7. Schedule Teresa on next space shuttle. X
8. Call US Troops, that he’s already called baby-killers and terrorists, idiots. X
9. Single handedly wipe out any chance at all of the Democrats gaining majority in next weeks’ elections. X
10. Reserve himself a picture bio next to the word “loser” in dictionary. X

Top Ten Thoughts of the Week

2006-11-02T09:22:00.000-08:00

10. Politicians put their foot down on those that refuse to kickback.
9. I put the cherry on the bottom of my sundae. I wanted to feel like I’ve earned it.
8. Hold your head high without looking down on others.
7. Unless you’re in the dictionary, you might as well define yourself.
6. If you can’t say anything nice about someone, write about him and get paid.
5. Be on the ball, but don’t lose your balance.
4. Last one late to class always sits in the squeaky chair.
3. A flame thrower is never as happy as when he is in pitched battle.
2. My doctor auditioned to set my broken arm, but he didn’t make the cast.
1. Let truth become your persuasion.

Why did the chicken cross the road?

2006-10-30T06:39:00.000-08:00

DR. PHIL:
The problem we have here is that this chicken won't realize that he must
first deal with the problem on "THIS" side of the road before it goes
after the problem on the "OTHER SIDE" of the road. What we need to do is
help him realize how stupid he's acting by not taking on his "CURRENT"
problems before adding "NEW" problems.

OPRAH:
Well I understand that the chicken is having problems, which is why he
wants to cross this road so bad. So instead of having the chicken learn
from his mistakes and take falls, which is a part of life, I'm going to
give this chicken a car so that he can just drive across the road and
not live his life like the rest of the chickens.

GEORGE W. BUSH:
We don't really care why the chicken crossed the road. We just want to
know if the chicken is on our side of the road, or not. The chicken is
either against us, or for us. There is no middle ground here.

DONALD RUMSFELD:
Now to the left of the screen, you can clearly see the satellite image
of the chicken crossing the road.

CHENEY...
Where's my shotgun?

ANDERSON COOPER/CNN:
We have reason to believe there is a chicken, but we have not yet been
allowed to have access to the other side of the road.

JOHN KERRY: Although I voted to let the chicken cross the road, I am now
against it! It was the wrong road to cross, and I was misled about the
chicken's intentions.

JUDGE JUDY:
That chicken crossed the road because he's GUILTY! You can see it in his
eyes and the way he walks.

PAT BUCHANAN:To steal the job of a decent, hardworking American.

MARTHA STEWART: No one called me to warn me which way that chicken was
going. I had a standing order at the Farmer's Market to sell my eggs
when the price dropped to a certain level.

DR SEUSS:
Did the chicken cross the road? Did he cross it with a toad? Yes, the
chicken crossed the road, but why i t crossed I've not been told.

ERNEST HEMINGWAY:
To die in the rain. Alone.

JERRY FALWELL:
Because the chicken was gay! Can't you people see the plain truth in
front of your face? The chicken was going to the "other side." That's
why they call it the "other side. Yes, my friends, that chicken is gay.
And if you eat that chicken, you will become gay too. I say we boycott
all chickens until we sort out this abomination that the liberal media
white washes with seemingly harmless phrases like "the other side." That
chicken should not be free to cross the road. It's as plain and simple
as that!

GRANDPA:
In my day we didn't ask why the chicken cros sed the road. Somebody told
us the chicken crossed the road, and that was good enough.

BARBARA WALTERS:
Isn't that interesting? In a few moments, we will be listening to the
chicken tell, for the first time, the heart warming story of how it
experienced a serious case of molti ng, and went on to accomplish its
life long dream of crossing the road.

JOHN LENNON:
Imagine all the chickens in the world crossing roads together - in
peace.

ARISTOTLE:
It is the nature of chickens to cross the road.

BILL GATES; I have just released eChicken2006,which will not only cross
roads, but will lay eggs, file your important documents, and balance
your check book. Internet explorer is an integral part of chicken. The
Platform is much more stable and will
never cra...#@&&^( C \..... reboot.

ALBERT EINSTEIN:
Did the chicken really cross the road, or did the road move beneath the
chicken?

BILL CLINTON:
I did not cross the road with THAT chicken. What is your definition of
chicken?

COLONEL SANDERS:
Did I miss one?

LARGE PRINT GIVETH. Fine print taketh away.

2006-10-26T19:58:00.000-07:00

Did you ever notice how many variations of the truth always seem to surface at election time? We hear a campaign ad that states "My opponent voted against aid for widows and orphans.", and we think "What a jerk!" Later the opponent runs an ad stating that he voted against extravagant spending on salary increases for politicians. The confusing part is, both statements can be true, and they can even be referring to the same bill.

There is nothing to keep a legislator from taking a great sounding and beneficial piece of legislation like our "Widows and Orphans Benefit Act" and tacking on an amendment which, if the bill passes, will result in a huge pay increase for the legislator and his staff. The incumbent legislator may find himself having to vote against the widows and orphans in order to kill the huge political salary increase. Then, later, at election time, his opponent is waving that vote against the widows and orphans like the American flag on the fourth of July. This is why every Governor and the President needs line item veto. With line item veto, the executive branch could veto the budget busting salary increase for the politicians, while allowing the Widows and Orphans Benefits to be signed into law.

An even more devious practice is writing a prohibition for some measure into an issue to be placed on the ballot, then, way down in the fine print, adding language to specifically allow the very measure voters thought the prohibition measure on the ballot did away with.

Sound familiar?.....It should. You will have an opportunity to vote on just such a measure on November seventh. It is called amendment 2, otherwise known as the Stem Cell Initiative. Lets look at it closely. Section 38(d) Paragraph 2, subparagraph 1 states "No person may clone, or attempt to clone a human being."

On the surface, this looks to be iron clad, but let's look deeper. Buried down on page 3 of 4, paragraph 5 states "Human embryonic stem cell research," also referred to as "early stem cell research," means any scientific or medical research involving human stem cells derived from in vitro fertilization blastocysts or from somatic cell nuclear transfer. For purposes of this section, human embryonic stem cell research does not include stem cell clinical trials.

What nobody includes in the ballot information is this very important fact. Somatic cell nuclear transplant, when done with sheep cells, made world wide news when we all got our first look at Dolly the Sheep. That's right...A CLONE, and the very process used to produce it is specifically allowed in amendment 2.

You have got to watch these people every second, and read every word. If you are like me, you have got to have someone who knows all these medical terms translate it for you. In this ballot issue, I see a very deliberate attempt to lull the voter considering it into a false sense of security regarding the prohibition of human cloning, then do exactly the opposite of what he thinks he is voting for. The prohibition was right up front on page one where nobody would miss it. The specific language allowing this particular cloning technique was tucked away over three quarters of the way through lots of legal and medical terminology where nobody will see it.

If Amendment 2 passes, and someone asks you what Missourian has red bushy hair, big floppy shoes, and lives in a test tube, the answer is.....Bozo the Clone.

Be careful at the polls!

Playing Catchup with Tech Soup!

2006-10-24T10:13:00.000-07:00

Tech Soup Episode 4 - September 20, 2006

Have you ever wondered what Windows Services are and why you need them? What they are: Processes that support functionality for the operating system and user accounts. Why you need them: Well...you don't need ALL of them. Actually, you can run Windows applications and surf the web without using ANY services according to Mark's Sysinternals blog. If you're not ready to disable or set all of your services to manual, you can find out what they do by visiting an excellent tutorial at PCStats.com.

Tech Soup Episode 5 - October 11, 2006

If you surf the 'net on a regular basis, then you've been hearing about the new release of Internet Explorer 7. If you're preferred browser happens to be Firefox, you've also been breathlessly awaing the release of Firefox 2.0. Both should be ready for download by the end of October. If you don't download and install IE7, it will be pushed out to your computer via Windows Update (I didn't know that when we did this show, Steve...) beginning November 1. If you want to know more about IE7 and the automatic delivery, visit Microsoft. If you want to keep up with what's happening with Firefox 2.0, visit Mozilla.

Desperate Ex-Presidents

2006-10-20T05:39:00.000-07:00

Great presidents never die…but they do know when to SHUT UP!

Whoever said politicians are all alike, haven’t studied recent ex-presidents. Ford, Reagan, and Bush 1, were all succeeded by Dems, Ronnie one removed. To my knowledge, they maintained their quiet over policies and behaviors they would deem ridiculous.

Even Nixon remained quiet while rebuilding his reputation, after his deserved self banishment from office.

Thus, the Republicans maintained the dignity of their country, party, themselves, but most of all; the Presidency itself.

Some leave their mark, others just a stain

The opposite is true of our most recent Democratic commander in chiefs. They can’t resist any and all attempts to attack their successors, even on foreign turf.

Since Clinton has befriended the emir of Dubai , Sheik Mohammed Bin Rashid Al Matoum, he has been paid to bestow several speeches to the UAE for about $400,000 a sermon. This Arab country, supporter of the Israeli boycott, also contributed about $500,000 to the Clinton Library.

No wonder our most recent ex-president danced on his wife’s presidential chances when he urged Dubya to give over our ports to recent backers of the Taliban, the UAE. During the last speech he criticized his successor for the Iraq war, ignoring the fact that removing Saddam was one of the major tenets in his own pre-9/11 administration.

Carter has been equally busy.

While visiting Castro in 2002, Carter lavished praise on the Cuban health and education systems while forgetting to mention the thousands of political prisoners Fidel had languishing in his prisons. Two years later President Jimmy felt it necessary to confirm Hugo Chavez’s controversial “election” as el-presidente of Venezuela , despite evidence of murders by Hugo’s brown shirts and a 59% exit poll that revealed the Devil pointer lost.

Now Carter wants to blame Bush for the anti nuke deal he made as a Clinton assignee to appease Little Kim in 1994. What chutzpah! It proves that a fool and his policies are never parted.

Never leave a dullard alone with a sharp knife.

Why the difference between Republican and Democrat ex-presidents?

History hasn’t been kind to Carter, his mishandling of the economy and failure to do anything effective in the kidnapping of our embassy personnel from Tehran until his embarrassing performance helped Ronald Reagan get elected.
Clinton , always the selfish prick, was more concerned with popularity polls than protecting his country. Instead of making decisions that a real commander in chief would make he hid behind his self imposed impeachment struggle.
Both are so arrogant they believe the country can’t do without their “expert” leadership. One is so eager to get his former residence back he’s pushing (I mean supporting) his wife to run.
The number one reason they won’t shut up is the CC boys can’t stand to be out of the spotlight. They both have a relentless need for attention.

Let’s not go overboard. As my good friend and liberal lobbyist, Phil A. Buster, reminded me, “Hey Bushbot, those guys have done great things since they were in office.”

He’s right. Carter has been tireless in his work for Habitat for Humanity, building homes for the needy donning hammer and nails himself alongside wife, Rosalynn.

Clinton and George Senior have raised billions for Tsunami victims (mostly Muslim), and hurricane victims.

Deny truth and you must rationalize the lie

On balance though, it’s plain to most that ex-presidents shouldn’t interfere with the new commander in chief. It’s no longer their job to protect America and Americans from Islamofacist slaughter, the likes we seem to forget about until 9/11 movies suddenly remind us of the horrible deaths suffered by 3,000 of our brethren on that awful day.

Besides, both Carter and especially Clinton bear much of the responsibility for enabling and encouraging terrorists to attack and attack and attack. They convinced the likes of Osama, Saddam and Zarhawi that the USA was a paper tiger and would eventually back down.

Bush and future presidents need a chance to disprove Osama’s skepticism. Carter and Clinton can help. All they need do is keep doing what they’re good at, helping the poor and troubled…and stay out of what they never had a talent for, foreign policy.

The Purpose of Government

2006-10-17T03:15:00.000-07:00

At the October 16 meeting, the Rolla City Council completely lost sight of the purpose of governments, be they local, state, or federal. The purpose of government is to do things for us that we as individuals can not do. Prime examples are the construction of roads, utilities, and other infrastructure, the maintenance of armed forced to defend us, police to protect us, etc. The Rolla City Council has just put itself into the recycling business, and with a monopoly on service!

With only one dissenting vote, that from Lou Magdits who is without doubt the councils most expert member on recycling, the council established the solid waste division of the City of Rolla as the only legal entity allowed to pick up recyclables. They did allow themselves an out, for things they can't or don't want to mess with. They just say that "This service is not provided". This allows the City of Rolla to "cherry pick" (John Butz's term) the recyclables, taking high value items like aluminum cans, cardboard boxes, etc, but leaving other less desirable materials. The only difference here in the use of the term is that when John Butz discussed it before the council, "cherry picking" was bad.

How these people think of trash and recyclable materials as being one and the same is beyond me. The difference is a no brainer. Trash does not have value. Recyclable materials do.

The council has totally forgotten that their place is not to compete with private enterprise. The fact that recycling as a private enterprise is alive and well is easily verified with nothing more than a quick look in the telephone directory yellow pages. There are numerous recyclers listed, each sorted by the materials they recycle.

The solid waste department receives monetary value from everything these private enterprise businesses recycle. That value comes from the fact that these tons of material do not enter Rolla's waste stream. The solid waste department does not have to buy and maintain trucks to haul these materials in, pay people to operate the trucks, or pay tipping fees on this material at whatever landfill they are dumping it into.

The City of Rolla is becoming a poster child for how not to treat a business. In additional to countless fees, charges, and general snafus, we now have an instance where a local recycler's money was accepted and he was issued a business license. Then the solid waste department comes to the council with a changed ordinance, declaring a monopoly on the right to pick up recyclable materials, and sends him letters telling him to cease and desist recycling.

Lets examine this absurdity by simply projecting it a little. If the City of Rolla is going to start taking over services provided by private enterprise, why not open a gas station, a restaurant, or how about an accounting firm or a real estate agency? Instead of going to court to sell Buehler Park, keep it and open a mini-mall!

If local recycling entrepreneur Russ Falkenrath sues the city, and justice prevails, he will win. There is a host of charges he can bring, restraint of trade among them. This doesn't even deal with the fact that the owner of anything of value, (the recyclable materials) may not have it taken from him. The Rolla City Council has no place interfering with business decisions between the holder of recyclable materials and whoever he deals with for recycling them.

Coach Gary Miles had nearly everyone in Rolla saving aluminum cans for donation to the Rolla Bulldogs. We read the articles in the Rolla Daily News, and took pride in his actions so our team could travel in chartered air conditioned Tiger Coaches. Now, instead of being credited for his original thinking and support of his team, he would get a nasty latter from Brady Wilson, telling him to cease and desist, and that only the City of Rolla has a right to collect and recycle those cans. What a truly dismal turn of events.

There is still time to reconsider this colossal screw-up before it goes too far. Any of the council members voting in favor of this totally misdirected ordinance can ask that it be reconsidered.

It's time for the council to reconsider this action, correct their mistake, and realize that their purpose is not to compete with private business, but to provide an atmosphere in which it can grow and flourish. If private enterprise were not successful here, we wouldn't need a Rolla City Council, because there wouldn't be a Rolla.

Harry's Leftovers (10/12/06)

2006-10-12T08:06:00.000-07:00

Been gone for awhile, so there hasn't been much cookin' at my place. But now I'm back and stuff has started to pile up. So, it's time to start cleaning out the ol' frig!

Congratulations...and it looks like they finally got it right! Have you noticed what the local gas shieks have done with our gas prices lately? NOTHING!!! And what makes that significant is that it's so unusual. One Friday of last week, teachers from all over the area were in town for a teachers' conference. And the locals didn't try to push up the prices. The past weekend was homecoming at RHS and at least three graduation classes had big-time class reunions. And the local oil magnates didn't try to gouge the folks migrating back home. I also bet that everyone, including the dealers, were better off because of it. THANK YOU!

Is it just me....(probably)? Didn't it seem appropriate that the last debate between U.S. senate candidates was held at a high school? The whole thing seems a little high schoolish to me--he said/she said/no I didn't/yes you did!!! I have just one election question or issue: "Tell me what you can/will do for me that the other person can't/won't do?" Cut through the crap (that word again)--when you get me that answer, you probably have me!!!

Rolla's GREATEST political asset... Without a doubt it is Martin Schwartz, the new editor of the RDN. In fact, I'll go as far as saying he's the best I've seen, but I've only been here for 22 years. Here's why: He reports on things like the RMU board meetings,which we never see; he attends city committee meetings which might have long range impact, which is where the city really does much of it's business; and he asks tough questions that need to be asked and doesn't just accept the pat-answers. I'm sorry to say, I think Martin may be too smart or too good to last in Rolla. That will be a shame.

It should be a fun time ahead for ol' UMR...or what's its name! At risk of repeating the on-air rant, I am really intrigued with the name changes and "morfing" that is going on with the State's colleges (oops...I guess they are all universities now). As if the name suddenly changes your mission or what you do or what you pretend to do. If you want names that will market your institution and get people in your door, I have a few to try. How about SUDSU, BABESU, UPLA.

UMR (whatever) wants a new name which will help folks identify its technological mission. Like somebody who is too dumb to find UMR or know its rep would even make it here! Well, here's a few suggestions for you, too. I guess Rolla Technical Institute is already taken--besides, that's probably too regional. How about University of Missouri Observatory of Knowledge (UM-OK). Or Special Missouri University of Technology (SMUT). Since they seem to want to change into something else, try University of Missouri Offering Research Focus (UMORF). Or finally, State Higher Institute of Technology (No, I can't do this but you can draw your own conclusion).

If they are really serious, I suggest adding "T" to the old name: MSMT -Missouri School of Mines, Metallurgy, and Technology. See, I really do like tradition and have some respect for institutions.

And finally, I'll close with my usual prayer: Lord protect me from those who have no sense of humor and take themselves too seriously. And protect them from me! Grant me the knowledge to recognize the idiot in the room...and give me the wisdom to keep my mouth shut when the idiot is me!

Candidate Discussion Nights

2006-10-04T12:40:00.000-07:00

For Immediate Release
FFI: Steven R. Leonard 364-6794

Rolla Television will be conducting live candidate discussion nights over the next two weeks on Rolla Television Channel 16. This will be the ninth year of candidate discussion nights held on local television. The forum offers voters the opportunity to call in and ask questions of those running for public office. Candidates for 16th District State Senate, Phelps County Prosecuting Attorney, and 149th State Representative will be present to answer questions from viewers.

The format for the Rolla Television Candidate Discussion Night Series is a free-flowing and casual discussion of the issues facing Rolla residents. Candidates will receive topics for debate and discussion from the host and will be available to answer questions from live telephone calls. The Rolla Television Candidate Discussion Night Series will also broadcast live on the Internet at www.voiceofrolla.com .

The schedule for the programs leading up to the November 7th election is:

October 9, 7:30 PM - 16th District State Senate - Frank Barnitz, Susie Snyders
October 11, 7:30 PM - Phelps County Prosecuting Attorney - Ken Clayton, Courtney George
October 19, 7:30 PM - 149th State Represenative - Bob May, Wayne Bledsoe

Rolla Television will also televise election returns and reaction live on November 7.

###

Top Ten Thoughts of the Week

2006-10-03T13:22:00.000-07:00

10. One round world…so many squares.
9. Rearranging your past makes your future a lie.
8. Blond 1: “I think I need to diet.” Blond 2: “What color?”
7. When you submit to the will of others, your soul goes on standby.
6. I tried to reinvent myself, but the patent expired.
5. Woman that claims equality to man, suffers low self esteem.
4. While dressing up is overrated, I never leave the house without pants on.
3. I had an accountability partner. The state called him a parole officer.
2. Even a Lazyboy stretches out every once in a while.
1. Beware the loophole that fits like a noose.

Open Letter to the Cable TV Franchise Renewal Committee

2006-10-01T13:00:00.000-07:00

Dear Committee Member

I am writing this to inform you of a highly undesirable situation that has developed involving the business practices of Fidelity Communications.

When the present cable television franchise agreement was adopted, channel assignments were set aside for access operations. The City of Rolla was established as the steward of the access channels. At this point, local television in Rolla consisted only of spectrum space on the cable assigned to the city. No programming or locally originated signal existed.

Just prior to the establishment of Channel 16 operations, a series of breakfast meetings was held at Shoney’s to discuss establishment of the operating parameters of the channel. Lou Magdits represented the Rolla City Council, Bob Tucker represented Fidelity Communications, Larry Vance and I represented Rolla Video Productions and KTTR.

The purpose of these meetings was to determine if it was financially feasible for us to attempt to operate a local channel on the cable system. We were advised that the City of Rolla had no interest in originating a local television channel. Mr. Magdits also advised us that no funds were available from the city for any type of local television channel. Bob Tucker, representing Fidelity Communications, informed us that no funds or materials would be provided. He also stated that Fidelity had no interest in operating a local channel and did not possess the equipment, experience, or know-how for such a project.

I also served as Chief Engineer for KTTR-KZNN, owned by Mahaffey Enterprises of Springfield. KTTR operated KTTR CABLE SIX on channel six, which was rented from Fidelity. Since KTTR already operated CABLE SIX as an electronic graphics channel, I inquired and was personally informed by John Mahaffey that Mahaffey Enterprises would definitely not attempt to operate a local television channel.

These decisions and the resulting assurances were crucial for Larry and me. It would be financially difficult or even impossible for two local entrepreneurs, whose only assets were a small amount of pocket money, their knowledge of broadcasting and electronics, and lots of hard work to try to compete successfully with multimillion dollar corporations holding comparatively unlimited assets.

The prospect of operating a local television channel was a very high-risk venture. The Sowers family, with their considerable funds, the combined income, sales, and reporting assets of the Rolla Daily News, had previously attempted a Low Power Television Station on Channel 7. Due to their complete lack of broadcasting and engineering knowledge and experience, Channel 7 was a failure.

Many local merchants spent large amounts of money getting local spots produced prior to the station’s going on the air. When the Channel 7 signal was received by less than 10% of it’s projected viewing audience, local merchants realized the money they had spent on production costs was lost. Support of the operation plummeted. Channel 7 was soon off the air and giving away their equipment. Needless to say, this costly failure muddied the waters greatly for two local entrepreneurs with very limited assets who wanted to start a local television channel. The entire business community was understandably very difficult to convince that any type of local television origination could succeed.

Having been assured that Mahaffey Enterprises and Fidelity Communications would not attempt operation of a local channel, we developed a proposal, which the City of Rolla accepted. Channel 16 was assigned to Rolla Video Productions for the operation of Rolla TV16. We rented building space from the City of Rolla. We cleaned up and remodeled the space now occupied by TV16. The space we rented did not meet several City Building Codes when it was received. It did not even have a bathroom.

With a little money and lots of sweat, we renovated the building space. We hand built much of the electronic equipment necessary for the operation of the channel, and Rolla TV16 began telecasting our signal to Rolla. Rolla TV16 has, from day one, existed solely upon funds from program underwriters. We have never received one cent of subsidy from the City of Rolla, or Fidelity Communications. We have honored our promise to be self-sufficient.

Shortly after TV16 went on the air, Fidelity Communications expressed an interest in supplying an “intern”, paid by them, to learn how to operate a local channel. We were promised that Fidelity wanted to operate a local channel on another cable system they owned in the City of Sullivan. Absolutely nothing was ever disclosed to us about operating a local channel in Rolla and operating it in direct competition with TV16.

Relying upon Fidelity’s assurance that they had no intention to originate local programming in Rolla, we saw no reason not to assist them. Their proposal was agreeable to us. Their “intern” worked with our personnel and was taught the basics of our operation and local television origination.

Shortly thereafter, when their “intern” had mastered the basics of how we operated. Fidelity Communications terminated its rental agreement with KTTR Radio. They removed KTTR CABLE SIX, and took over cable channel six. From Fidelity’s first hour of programming, they duplicated our Bulletin Board. They have since been in direct violation of their agreement with us, not to operate a local channel. They immediately began duplicating our Bulletin Board, using all the techniques their “intern” learned while working with us.

When we began our operation, most people did not know how to write copy for use on a bulletin board format. Our underwriters sent us the basic details of their business or community event, and we assisted by writing up the actual copy to be aired. Not only was Fidelity violating their promise to us that they would not operate a local channel, they actually copied verbatim and aired on channel six the original copy we wrote for our underwriters.

At the time, I owned a local business called Complete Exteriors. We were in the home improvement business and sold seamless siding, soffit and fascia, windows, doors, etc. I advertised my business on Rolla TV16. As soon as I began advertising, a sales representative from Fidelity Communications contacted me. I was personally solicited to move my advertising from TV16 to Fidelity’s channel six. I was promised that Fidelity would “beat any price or offer that TV16 could make”. This was done before the Fidelity sales rep knew that I was a part of TV16. Needless to say, I did not move my advertising to channel six.

I advised their salesman that I, as a Rolla merchant, was offended by their use of an out of town radio station (KTUI – Sullivan) for the audio on their channel. I asked, “Why should I pay to advertise on your video when your audio is carrying commercials from competing out of town merchants?” I am still waiting for an answer to that one.

Why should Rolla's franchise agreement allow the franchisee to operate a local channel upon which he promotes out of town businesses, and encourages Rolla residents to spend their money in Sullivan instead of Rolla?

Fidelity Management, in recent months, has also lied to the editor of the Rolla Daily News. The RDN Editor investigated Fidelity’s duplication of programming appearing on RollaTV16. Editor Janese Heaven, after writing her front-page article, told me personally that Fidelity Management had, on three separate occasions, specifically denied any programming duplications. I spoke with her and stated that they did indeed duplicate every feature of our programming they were capable of. They have attempted both football and basketball coverage as well as parades and other local events. She then told me that she had only recently subscribed to Fidelity Cable. She seemed confused as to whom to believe, and told me she remained unconvinced.

I suggested that she watch the upcoming telecast of the Rolla Lady Bulldogs versus the St. James Lady Tigers. We taped the game in the St, James High School Auditorium. The Fidelity camera operator set up his camera on the right end of the stage, at floor level, and inadvertently appeared in TV16’s coverage of the game every time the action swung to the stage end of the gym.

All of Fidelity management’s lies to the RDN about not duplicating our programming were verified as such by their own camera guy. It must have been a total embarrassment for Fidelity’s Managers to be quoted three times claiming they were not duplicating Channel 16 programming, only to have their camera man appear on TV16 for all to see doing the very thing their management denied to the RDN Editor on three separate occasions.

Fidelity can have no other reason for paying to produce local programming on channel six, than to prevent as many underwriters as possible from trading with TV16. A perfect example is the programming from East Central College presently carried by Fidelity. Fidelity gives this airtime to the college for free, rather than have the college trade with TV16. They lose money doing it, just to deny TV16 the income.

Fidelity cannot be trusted to keep their original promise concerning local television programming. They make every possible effort to prevent potential underwriters from programming on TV16. Their management then, gets caught lying to the community in a front-page newspaper article, denying their course of action.

TV16 furnished years of programming logs to Daily News editor Janese Heaven so she could verify all the programs we telecast and check Fidelity’s program logs for duplications. We received an inquiry from her a few days later, asking if program logs could be accessed under the sunshine law. I informed her that there is nothing secret about the programming logs of any broadcast facility. There is nothing to prevent any broadcaster from showing their program logs to anyone who might ask to see them. Reputable broadcasters freely provide copies of their program logs along with their invoices, so program sponsors can verify when their ads were broadcast. The RDN already had our logs. The only possible people failing to produce their programming logs had to be Fidelity.

If the Fidelity management told the Daily News they could not reveal their program logs, then they lied about that, too. This deplorable conduct is the very reason we are asking that prohibition of Fidelity Communications to operate a local television channel be specifically set forth in the renewed Cable Franchise Agreement.

Fidelity has numerous honest ways of making money legitimately with their cable system. In addition to the television programming offered to their subscribers, they are now marketing both telephone and Internet services on their cable system.

They have also deleted entertainment channels and replaced them with product sales channels such as QVC. Every time a purchase is made from subscriber in zip code 65401, QVC pays Fidelity Communications a percentage of the sale. Fidelity also sells local television spots on national network programming, such as Fox News, TNT, ESPN, Etc. These networks originate “Local Avails” and provide control tones to allow local cable operators to sell and insert local spots into the network programs. The networks fill these “local avails” by airing promotional announcements of upcoming programs. These are called “promos”. Viewers watching these networks on systems that do not insert local spots never notice, because they see the “promos”. Those that do insert local spots air them in the selected “local avails”. We have no objection to these local spot sales. Fidelity has aired local spots for years, and we have no problem with that.

Giving away product to prevent possible clients from trading with a legitimate business is not now, nor has it ever been, an honorable business practice. We want Fidelity Communications to honor its original promise to us. We want them to cease and desist from their operation of a local channel. We also suggest they use channel 6 to return one of the entertainment channels they took away from their subscribers when they added the income producing product sales channels.

These less than honorable practices have been my only disappointment with Fidelity. The technical quality of the product delivered to our homes by Fidelity is better by several degrees of magnitude than the offerings of the previous franchisee. I personally purchase my telephone and internet services from Fidelity and am very pleased with these services.

I remain convinced that, with all the legitimate ways of producing income available to Fidelity Communications, there is no necessity for them to break their promise not to produce local television. They should also immediately discontinue their use of highly dishonorable business practices, their attempt to eliminate TV16, and their efforts to take over as a Rolla’s local television provider.

In view of these facts, I again urge you to include in the new franchise agreement a specific prohibition to prevent Fidelity Communications from the operation of a local channel or production of any type of local television programming on its Rolla system.

The question here is very simple. Do we, or do we not, have a franchisee that can be trusted only to engage in honest business practices, to be truthful, and to honor its agreements with the City of Rolla and other entities it does business with?

William P. Botts
Director of Local Programming
Rolla TV16
1014 Pine Street
Rolla, Missouri

Top Ten Thoughts of the Week

2006-09-28T07:00:00.000-07:00

10. My wife and I stopped flying. It’s too hard to check in her implants.
9. Sometimes you have to put your foot down to get a leg up.
8. I flirted with death but found out it was too much of a commitment.
7. Writers are the glue that keeps actors attached to their jobs.
6. Too many fans spoil the hairdo.
5. My pony got a sore throat. He was a little horse.
4. I called the suicide hotline. No one answered. Maybe next time I’ll use the phone.
3. A common thread weaves a brilliant mosaic through adversity and dismay.
2. If superglue is so adhesive, how does it come out of the tube?
1. Sometimes you have to go out on a limb to turn over a new leaf.

THE LIGHT IS BETTER OVER HERE!

2006-09-22T03:43:00.000-07:00

A policeman was walking his beat when he observed a man crawling around beneath a street light. When he inquired as to the nature of the problem, the officer was informed that the man had lost his keys. The policeman joined the search, and after several meticulous trips over the entire area, asked the man "Are you sure you lost them here?" "No," replied the man. "I lost them half a block back there in the dark." When the officer asked why they were crawling around where they were, the man replied "Because we can see better up here under the light."

This stupid sounding story perfectly describes the restrictions placed upon or petroleum companies and exploration engineers by environmentalist extremists, and their Democrat allies in congress.

We know perfectly well where the oil is, but they have passed laws making it impossible for us to drill where we need to in order to use it! No drilling off the coast of Florida. No more drilling in the Gulf of Mexico. No more drilling off the California coast. No drilling in the Arctic National wildlife Refuge (ANWR)!

These extremists have hamstrung our oil industry, and done everything possible to keep us depenant on oil upon which we get price gouged by people who hate us. They then funnel the petro dollars by the billions into terror groups like Hamas and Hezbollah. If we want to get to the bottom of who is funding terror around the world, we will find that WE ARE! Excessive oil profits going to nations like Iran, and Syria, formerly to Saddam Hussein's Iraq, and even some of what we pay the Saudis goes for weapons that arm the terrorists we fight every day. These funds helped Iran pay for Hezbollah troops and the rockets they fired into Israel during the recent war in Lebanon.

Huge new oil discoveries were just recently announced in the Gulf of Mexico. In fact, if we add up the proven oil available off the California and Florida coasts, previously located oil in the Gulf of Mexico, and in ANWR, the total is Amazing.

WE HAVE MORE OIL THAN THERE IS IN THE MIDDLE EAST! The only thing keeping us from drilling wells and breaking our addiction to Middle East oil is the work of the environmental extremists and their Democrat allies in Congress! Remember all those NO DRILLING areas I mentioned above? If you look at the list of the places these huge oil deposits are located, they match exactly!

Drilling into these vast pools of oil would change the way the world works. How much better off would we all be if the BILLIONS of petro dollars we pay nations who hate us were circulating in our economies instead of theirs? How much would the Islamic Fascists be crippled without those same BILLIONS of petro dollars? How many fewer weapons could these oil rich dictators buy and build without our BILLIONS?

Yes, the world would be a much better place if the United States of America were ENERGY INDEPENDENT. We can be, if we simply demand that Congress repeal these stupid laws which forbid our petroleum industry from doing the common sense thing and drilling where the oil is.

If he had looked where the keys actually were, the man in the story would have found them immediately and been quickly upon his way!

Christianity vs Islam

2006-09-19T19:31:00.000-07:00

The faith of “forgiveness” VS the religion of “peace”

Saturday night…the battle for all of Heaven and Earth!!! No rules, no holds barred, A FIGHT TO THE DEATH!! Judgment provided by the One and Only L-rd! $49.95 on pay-per-view. BE THERE OR BE SQUARE!!!

I know…I know. This is no joke. But finally Jews saw a break in the heated focus of fanatical Islam and its’ qualms about Israel and the Hebrews’ reluctance to convert or conveniently disappear under the waves of the Mediterranean .

Inadvertently, the Pope has taken the heat off the Jews and other infidels.

What did the Pope say? He referred to a thirteenth century text quoting an emperor as saying that Muhammad commanded the spread of Islam by the sword, in the hopes of starting a “dialogue.”

What was he thinking? Didn’t G-d send him the memo? One does not speak of Islam as Islamofacists speak to the rest of us…the unofficial 11th commandment.

So what did that quote bring so far from fanatical Muslims?

An Italian nun murdered in Somalia .
A demand that the Pope apologize. When the Pope offered his regrets, some Muslims claimed the Pontiff didn’t show enough personal remorse and must repent…even more!
Threats of a Holy War against Christianity and the West. Gee, I thought we were already well into one.
An English Muslim Cleric/lawyer, Anjem Choudary, calling for the head of the Pope…just like he did for the Dane that depicted Muhammad in less than flattering light…in cartoons, no less.
The firebombing 5 Christian Churches by Palestinians in Gaza and the West Bank , some thousands of years old. This follows the burning and desecration of Synagogues there.

And this has taken place in just the last 72 hours!

Just one question…When does the majority of “moderate” Muslims rise up and stop this nonsensical violence?

At least the Jews will see a break in the heated focus of radical Islam and its’ qualms about the Hebrews’ religion for and of “monkeys and pigs”.

Right?

Wrong!

“Just when I thought that I was out they pull me back in.” Michael Corleone

Almost instantaneously, Iranian newspapers came out and stated that Israelis and the USA were to blame for what the Pope said.

As quoted in the Iranian paper, Jomhuri Islami. “The reality is if we do not consider Pope Benedict XVI ignorant of Islam, then his remarks against Islam are a dictat(e) that the Zionists and the Americans have written for him…”

Yep, you heard right. The Jews now control the Pope.

As Larry the Cable guy says, “I don’t care who you are, THAT’S FUNNY!”

I come from a neighborhood so tough we used .38 specials as toenail clippers

This brings me to a childhood memory. As a boy, the bigger kids in my gang would get into verbal fights with the leaders of a competing gang. The next thing I knew they taunted the toughest guy in their gang. Words were short and quickly led to the threat of putting me, the “little one” out on the frontline. Not very bright, I ended up fighting in a lot of those street battles, while the “tough guys” watched.

Will the so called “big” guys in the UN back off the sanctions the Security Council established against Iran and leave the “little guy”, Israel , with a survival obligation they can’t refuse?

France has just backed down from the sanctions against Iran they voted for.

What a surprise!

If Hitler came to the UN today and demanded to build gas chambers for local “energy”, France would have given him the ovens, as long as he agreed not to actually murder any Hebrews. .

Never stick your neck out for someone that’s threatened to behead you.

Muslim nations are actually contemplating a global campaign to increase tourism.

I’m not kidding.

For once, I’m speechless…probably the only way one would be allowed to visit.

I’d go, but I have to fold my laundry.

I’ll be watching for Islamic Tours on the Discovery Channel.

Top Ten Thoughts of the Week

2006-09-19T13:30:00.000-07:00

10. My Asian friend gave me a shirt with Chinese written on the back. It took a year and a severely bruised but to find out it said, “KICK ME.”
9. Celebrate persistence and good results will follow.
8. Every judge expects you to lie. If they can’t catch you in one, they’ll accuse you anyway.
7. Hear about the bankrupted tech company? It was a Geek Tragedy.
6. Never strike your caddy in the fairway. The rough is more private.
5. Arrogance will be tolerated as long as you’re the only game in town.
4. I was going to be a mountain climber, but I peaked at the first plateau.
3. What is a “smithereen” and why do we want to beat people to it?
2. My neighborhood was so tough the Italians called themselves the Baritones.
1. It takes two to foreplay.

Selective Indignation

2006-09-18T23:12:00.000-07:00

For years, I have admired Paul Harvey. I can easily see why his three daily news programs are the top three news programs in the country. Years ago, he coined the term "Selective Indignation" to cover the kind of situations we have in the news this week.

Pope Benedict XVI (16th for those of you not skilled in Roman numerals) was speaking at a university where he quoted a Byzantine Emperor regarding Muslims. The Emperor stated (paraphrased) that no good thing came as a result of spreading the Islamic Faith by use of the sword. (Bottom Line.....Believe as we tell you or we'll kill you.)

Who did the quotation actually hurt?...NOBODY! But the whole Muslim world has had their turbans wrapped extra tight ever since he made the speech. They have demanded his execution. They have rioted. They have destroyed property and injured each other. All this over a quotation from a 14th century Emperor!

I have tried ever since the other huge Muslim upheaval over some cartoons that were published back in January, to understand how these people can get so bent out of shape. Muslims were maimed and killed in the riots that followed the publication of the cartoons. Who did the cartoons actually hurt?....NOBODY!

If these Muslims want something to get really warped over, let me suggest that they pour into the streets by the millions in protest against the Muslim Extremists and Terrorist who are killing about one to two hundred of them a day from Iraq to Afghanistan.

Every evening newscast carries a story about the latest homicide bomber who drove a car bomb into a public area inhabited by women and children and detonated it. A few days ago, terrorists set off a roadside bomb to attack a passing patrol, even though they saw Muslim children who were unknowingly playing next to it. The children were blown apart when the terrorists detonated the bomb.

It is long past time for the peace loving Muslims, if indeed there are any, to take action. They must denounce the deranged clerics who teach their young children by leading chants of "Death to Jews." and "Death to America" in their schools. They must stop collecting money in their mosques and directing it to those who finance terrorist operations. They should be in the streets demonstrating and burning in effigy the Muslim Terrorist Extremists who would watch as Muslim children are ripped apart by explosives they set off to try to kill or injure those in a military or police patrol.

I saw a newscast last night (Monday) in which a Muslim official was telling the audience what a bad rap Muslims are getting. As I watched the B-Roll, (that's the tape you see in the background while interviews are being conducted), The Pope was being burned in effigy simply for quoting the words of an Emperor who died in the 14th century. This is ridiculous!

Until the Muslims start denouncing and demonstrating against the terrorist extremists and Islamic Fascists who have hijacked their religion, put the boot to clerics who teach their children to hate and kill, and stop using their mosques to house and launch weapons and to fund terrorism, they are going to keep getting painted with the same brush wielded by the terrorists, the homicide bombers, and the militant clerics.

One can only imagine the world wide protests and demonstrations that would occur instantly if an American pilot took an F-18 and bombed a shopping mall toasting a hundred fifty or two hundred Muslims to a crackly crunch. There would be howls of protest from every civilized nation on the planet. Muslims everywhere would demand the trial and execution of the pilot.

Why don't we see any of the same protests and demonstrations when a Muslim homicide bomber delivers the explosives that do the same thing to the same people in the same shopping mall using a booby trapped panel truck in place of the F-18?

Until we start to see corrective action in the streets, in the newspapers, and on television, Muslims are going to take it on the chin. They have nobody to blame for it but themselves.

They rioted when they said cartoons showed disrespect for the Prophet Mohammad. Do they think Mohammad is being honored by blowing up their children in order to get a shot at a passing convoy?

If this is what Islam has to offer, then their prophet and his teachings are totally disgusting and they certainly don't deserve any respect!

Do Dems Convert to Bushbots in Booth?

2006-09-16T19:22:00.000-07:00

“Pay no attention to that man behind the curtain”-The Wizard of Oz

Despite loony left conspirator enthusiasts, Ohio has finally been conceded by c-BS. Yep, Bush actually won that election, despite the debate Senator Kerry seems to be having with himself.

What never added up was the inconsistency of the exit polls. Early returns from Ohio foretold a Kerry massacre. Yet we still address GWB as Mr. President.

How could this be?

Here’s the answer.

It depends on what the meaning of the word “vote” is

Democrat/liberal/supposed Bush haters lied to the pollsters. Once the curtain was drawn, in the privacy of the booth, they voted their true conscious, or maybe just their hidden capitalistic avarice. But when the exit questions came, they fibbed like the true Clintonites they are. Maybe they parsed responses as meaningless gestures as long as they gave lip service to the cause.

Examples are rife within my own family. My cousins from Chicago, Michael and Susan (not their real names) are both double PhDs. Susan runs a college and Michael is a famous psychiatrist, and tenured English Lit Professor. They’re great people and I love them, but are so liberal; they think Howard Dean is right wing. They travel hundreds of miles in their tinny tangerine gas efficient Volvo to stay a day or two at my house every year on their way to vacation in New Mexico, just to demolish their conservative Cuz, me.

My odds are low facing these two Mensa Mafiosi. When I asked Susan just what it was that made her hate Bush, she said, “He’s stupid.” When I asked how she knew this, her response was, “Everyone knows this,” with an upward roll of her eyeballs.

Mike and I go round and round on abortion. Finally, I attained a small victory when I convinced him of the obvious evil of late term abortion.

Then, after I subdued his Lib loquaciousness with an amazingly potent merlot, he fessed up. Seems, as a businessman/psychiatrist he liked Bush’s tax cuts. No, he didn’t admit voting for Dubya, but indicated that it was a possibility. Without benefit of merlot buzz, or friendly confines of a relative’s home, do you think Dr. Mike would admit to voting Republican to a pimple faced innocent Democratic youth Bush hater?

Could Susan have followed suit after Mike talked to her of their impending financial windfall? To her, admitting to voting for the “brain-dead” Bush would be tantamount to opposing the NEA in public.

“Can’t we all just get along?” - Rodney King

Then there’s my Cousin, Ted, also a Chicagoan. He’s of a mind that we can talk with al-Qeada, feel their pain, show sensitivity, and Walla; we can all hold hands around the campfire and sing Kumbaya.

Any chance he got, he blasted Bush…that is, until Hezbollah, started lobbing ball baring Katushas into Israeli civilian areas. The worm turned on this issue. Guess he saw the run and cut Democrats as pulling the plug on our only trustworthy ally in the Middle East .

He could have voted for Bush, had he sensed this in 2004. Admit it? Not in the name of Lenin, not even Putin! He now fills my e-mail with tough anti-terrorist, anti Islamofacist essays.

Teddy has turned.

You can’t build a legacy sitting on the fence

When you’re in the voting confines on November 7th, or in future elections, remember the Clintonese efforts to play hide and seek with history.

Anyone with an open mind, watching the hubris Clinton and his cronies raised over the Disney/ABC 9/11 presentation, had to wonder what he was so distressed about. After watching it, one can only speculate why he wanted to bring more attention to his administrations’ irrefutable lameness. Terrorists attacked us time after time after time during his scandal ridden 8 years as president. His response ranged from nothing to ridiculous.

The house of mouse outted Clinton and the Democrats for the horrible position they left our country in.

Aussies are taking revenge on innocent stingrays for the one that attacked and killed Steve Irwin the crocodile man, killing at least 10 so far. No conspiracy or cooperation was alleged amongst the Ray Clan to murder Irwin.

Knowing Bubba’s track record, if I were Mickey and Minnie, I’d apply for the Witness Protection Program…especially Minnie.

Moral of the story? Listen to advice; vote your conscious.

Harry's Leftovers (9/16/06)

2006-09-16T09:06:00.000-07:00

Some things have been stewing with me for awhile, but some things just never got served. Here's this week's dishes in the 'frig.

You should see the city from ground level sometime! I've made comments from time to time about my new habit of jogging and walking around town. This really is a great way to get acquainted with our city. For example, did you realize that our city has different smells? Pine Tree Rd. actually smells like diesel exhaust, while the air is sweeter a block away (and quieter, too!). I also see what's in your recycle bin on trash day. I get a perspective on how tall the weeds really are that grow in the cracks in the streets. Traffic is another crazy item: I have seen a guy driving with a (real) dog sitting on the dash. I've seen a lady brushing her hair while driving and talking on her cell phone. I've seen a woman putting in her earrings while driving and talking on her cell. I'm used to the cell phone and driving thing by now, but how many hands do these people have???

Thanks to some and poop on others. During my tours, I have noticed more conscientious dog owners carrying bags to protect some of us from having to wade through dog-mess. I know some of these folks and they were probably doing this before it became an issue with me, so I take no credit here. Ber Juan and Green Acres seemed better the last time I was there. My newly designated "Walk of S(hame)" is now Lovers Lane.

There really is some good news out there but we need to hear it! About the first of September, the State Department of Education (DESE) released the preliminary test results for school districts from last spring. This was the first view of whether or not schools were making expected annual progress and meeting standards of "No Child Left Behind". This is also an unbiased indication of whether or not the Rolla Public Schools is doing the job we pay them to do. AND THEY ARE!!! But the disappointment is that I had to track this down on the DESE website. I think the board of education and the district administration should be blowing this horn. I don't understand the silence here, but maybe it just business as usual. We usually don't hear much unless they want something.

I'm really curious about St.John's/Mercy Medical's new building project. The Council just rezoned land at the corner of Lions Club and 72 for a new medical arts center. I'm really curious about how all this plays out. Do we need that much space for new doctors? Are we getting new docs and can we support them? How does this play with PCRMC's new office complex? And what happens to the old medical arts facility across from the hospital? Seems like we might be getting alot of empty office space around town.

The Story that Martin Weinbaum Would Not Let You Hear!!!! Is the Parks Department the Next Big City Boondoggle? Did you know that it actually took a special act of the legislature to establish our tourism tax? The contract with the Chamber gets all the talk, but looking at the actual law that set this up can be insightful. I think the law may actually raise a question of whether or not the tax can actually be used to buy a park (Forest Service property), which the city is trying to do. (Mr. Leonard disagrees with me on this.) I am curious about how we can afford to pay for trails at the Audubon area but we can't keep our restrooms clean and open. I'm not sure we didn't avoid that discussion in budget hearings. We have another park up for sale in Meadowbrook. I think this is risky without the Beuhler Park decision. The judge's ruling may say that the city cannot sell any dedicated park--and I believe Meadowbrook, even though it is undeveloped, was parkland dedication from a contractor. Didn't he expect it would be used as a park? It's interesting that Mr. Sibley asked about this park a couple of meetings ago when Audubon was discussed. I think he was told there may be something coming up, but we haven't heard any more except sell the park.

And finally, I'll close with the usual prayer: Lord protect me from those who have no sense of humor and take themselves too seriously. And protect them from me! Grant me the knowledge to recognize the idiot in the room...and give me the wisdom to keep my mouth shut when the idiot is me!

A Quiz

2006-09-14T06:42:00.000-07:00

AN average person only gets 7 correct.

This is based on U.S. info, so use all lobes of your brain. This can be more difficult than it looks - it just shows how little most of us really see!

There are 25 questions about things we see every day or have known about all our lives. How many can you get right? These little simple questions are harder than you think-- it just shows you how little we pay attention to the commonplace things of life.

Put your thinking caps on. No cheating! No looking around! No getting out of your chair! No using anything on or in your desk or computer!

Can you beat 23?? (The average is 7) Write down your answers as you go. Check answers (on the bottom), AFTER completing all the questions.

REMEMBER - NO CHEATING!!! BE HONEST!!! That means no looking at your phone or anything on your desk...

Then, before you pass this on to your friends, change the number on the subject line to show how many you got correct. Forward to your friends and also back to the one who sent it to you.

LET'S JUST SEE HOW OBSERVANT YOU REALLY ARE.

> Here we go!
>
> 1. On a standard traffic light, is the green on the top or bottom?
>
> 2. How many states are there in the USA ? (Don't laugh, some people don't know)
>
> 3. In which hand is the Statue of Liberty's torch?
>
> 4. What six colors are on the classicCampbell's soup label?
>
> 5. What two numbers on the telephone dial don't have letters by them?
>
> 6. When you walk does your left arm swing with your right or left leg? (Don't you dare get up to see!)
>
> 7. How many matches are in a standard pack?
>
> 8. On the United States flag is the top stripe red or white?
>
> 9. What is the lowest number on the FM dial?
>
> 10. Which way does water go down the drain, counter or clockwise?
>
> 11. Which way does a "no smoking" sign's slash run?
>
> 12. How many channels on a VHF TV dial?
>
> 13 On which side of a women's blouse are the buttons?
>
> 14. Which way do fans rotate?
>
> 15 How many sides does a stop sign have?
>
> 16. Do books have even-numbered pages on the right or left side?
>
> 17 How many lug nuts are on a standard car wheel?
>
> 18. How many sides are there on a standard pencil?
>
> 19. Sleepy, Happy, Sneezy, Grumpy, Dopey, Doc. Who's missing?
>
> 20. How many hot dog buns are in a standard package?
>
> 21 On which playing card is the card maker's trademark?
>
> 22 On which side of a Venetian blind is the cord that adjusts the opening between the slats?
>
> 23. There are 12 buttons on a touch tone phone. What 2 symbols bear no digits?
>
> 24. How many curves are there in the standard paper clip?
>
> 25. Does a merry-go-round turn counter or clockwise?
>
> ANSWERS
>
> 1. On a standard traffic light, is the green on the top or bottom? BOTTOM
>
> 2. How many states are there in the USA ? (Don't laugh, some people don't know) 50
>
> 3. In which hand is the Statue of Liberty's torch? RIGHT
>
> 4. What six colors are on the classicCampbell's soup label? BLUE, RED, WHITE, YELLOW, BLACK & GOLD
>
> 5. What two numbers on the telephone dial don't have letters by them? 1, 0
>
> 6. When you walk does your left arm swing with your right or left leg?
>
> RIGHT
>
> 7. How many matches are in a standard pack? 20
>
> 8. On the United States flag is the top stripe red or white? RED
>
> 9. What is the lowest number on the FM dial? 88
>
> 10. Which way does water go down the drain, counter or clockwise?
>
> CLOCKWISE (NORTH OF THE EQUATOR)
>
> 11. Which way does a "no smoking" sign's slash run?
>
> TOWARDS BOTTOM RIGHT
>
> 12. How many channels on a VHF TV dial? 12 (no #1)
>
> 13 On which side of a women's blouse are the buttons? LEFT
>
> 14. Which way do fans rotate? CLOCKWISE AS YOU LOOK AT IT
>
> 15 How many sides does a stop sign have? 8
>
> 16. Do books have even-numbered pages on the right or left side? LEFT
>
> 17 How many lug nuts are on a standard car wheel? 5
>
> 18. How many sides are there on a standard pencil? 6
>
> 19. Sleepy, Happy, Sneezy, Grumpy, Dopey, Doc. Who's missing? BASHFUL
>
> 20. How many hot dog buns are in a standard package? 8
>
> 21 On which playing card is the card maker's trademark? ACE OF SPADES
>
> 22 On which side of a Venetian blind is the cord that adjusts the opening between the slats? LEFT
>
> 23. There are 12 buttons on a touch tone phone. What 2 symbols bear no digits? *, #
>
> 24. How many curves are there in the standard paper clip? 3
>
> 25. Does a merry-go-round turn counter or clockwise? COUNTER