Hope all is well ;]

On a more positive note I finally got a Macbook.  A nice young feller off craigslist sold me his brand new Macbook for CHEAP.  He even gave me the shell that he put on it, fabulous.

Make Up wise, I am not huge on make up but The Body Shop is coming out with a Mineral line next week and I got it all for FREE. It’s a $200+ dollar value and all of the employees get to take home this fabulous line.  Don’t compare us to Bare Minerals because we are completely different. Our foundation is the only mineral line on the market that has SPF 25, dermotoligist tested, perservative free, and our brushes are fabulously SYNTHETIC. I do take pride in my vegan, non animal testing job.

(Top to bottom) Divide & Multiply NEW mascara, Eyeshadow Trio, Cheek Blush, Eyeliner, NEW Lip Click

Cheek Color, Foundation, Eye Shadow

This is the Foundation Brush, Blusher Brush, and Eye Shadow Brush

Lately I’ve been on a massive job hunt. I’m not even sure what it is I’m trying to do.  I just need money because I need a new laptop.  I’m supposed to be going to Vegas in November.  My niece is being blessed, christened in Virginia either September or October. Of course I’m trying to go home for either Thanksgiving or Christmas.  All this money, I’m really thinking I’m going to lose my mind. I do know everything will be okay but right now it’s just all hard to soak up.

I’m so over Chicago.

The store I worked at closed officially on Wednesday so the past two days was packing. Friday was supposed to be pay day, but I got NO check. No one did. So I’m freaking out because I need my money, I have bills to pay! The store manager has called Human Resources 3 times and left messages. I’m just so blown right now.

When it rains it pours. Right?

One person seemed not so excited, a patron of mine at the library, that I regularly help. When I told her about my classes she went on patronizing my accomplishment. I don’t argue with older people, 60+, because I know they are senile.  The thing that irked me is how internet illiterate people are so quick to judge based on their own insecurities.   This woman said that she doesn’t agree with online courses and doesn’t see the purpose of them, she laughed about how would I do homework, how will it be graded, how will the teacher know if I read a book? She went on about how if it was some accredited school that she would feel fine about it. Being me, I just smiled, why even argue?

With that said, what’s your outlook on online schools?
Me personally, I think they are fabulous. I haven’t exactly done anything yet but I believe the concept is great.  It’s very convenient for a lot of people and doesn’t work out for some.  Really, it’s not for everybody.  Hell it may not even be for me, but I am very committed in making this work out for myself right now. I could give two shits less of what anyone thinks about how I am attempting to better myself.

Yes, we can all agree that when you’re single no one bothers with you but as soon as you’re “boo’d” up everyone wants to come out the woodworks. That’s just how it is, it fades away the longer you’ve been in the relationship, but every now and then it happens.

With my past experiences with boyfriends it allows me to read guys pretty quick when they attempt to talk to me. Now, I’m not Ms. Cleo or nothin’, but I can tell what dude is all about and how far he’s trying to go. Call it a gift if you must! (Haha) My thing is I’m not knocking their game, but I consider myself a grown ass woman and for them to think they can kick that lame ass game this way or that is not cool.  Why would I want to be with a guy with grillz sitting on 22s, screaming illegal. Or a guy with a kid, that’s baggage that I’m not even interested in. (And if you think for a second there’s no baggage, you need a reality check.)

I think that a lot of these guys approach us the way they do because the previous girl or just females in general are lowering their standards.  Just because a guy has a car they assume we will hop in or give out our numbers, or because they believe they are the sexiest thing on earth no one can tell them anything. Its quite a shame and they need to get a grip.

We are so much more than looks and money. Where’s your pride & dignity ladies? It’s 2008 being independent isn’t something new.  I always say, if I can’t afford it I don’t need it.

I had a great time at home last week. My friend and I went bar hopping, drove to Boston for a day, my mom & I went shopping, my little sister got a job, my bro in law & I discussed different areas in Boston for me to move to. (Yes, I’m moving again. Early next year. I’m bored with Chicago.)

My bestie Alesia took me out to lunch at a Sushi Bar, which was awesome. I tried Eel for the first time and it was pretty darn tasty. Whoops, that reminds me I do have something to blog about..

In high school I didn’t have many friends, a couple, possibly a handful that I could sorta trust.  Among that handful I could completely trust 2/5 of those people. One of those people I didn’t really trust, let’s call her Allison, was someone I grew up with. I thought we were BFF Jills! Until I found out she had been leaking some of my personal 411 to people I didn’t associate with. Instead of confronting her I decided to not tell her shit and only confide in my 2 pals.

Well, ironically Allison got jealous. She may not have admitted it but I could definitely tell.  I remember one time when she mentioned how I don’t tell her anything anymore, I just pretended I had no idea what she was talking about.  I felt like I had friends for different purposes but 2 that I could tell everything and anything to.  Now I’m out of high school, but I can still sense this jealousy from her.  It’s weird, as though she doesn’t expect me to have friends other than her. But hey, not my problem.

In other news 2 weeks ago when I was on my way to work I had stopped by my favorite breakfast spot, McDonalds. I ordered what I thought to be a McGriddle, but to my surprise, half way to work I realized it was a nasty, crusty, dry biscuit sandwich. I hate those things. So I did what any person would do, haha, I wrote Mickey D’s a nice little e-mail explaining how upset and ruined my day was. (Laugh if you must!) Well I just received in the mail a fabulous little card that entitles me to a free meal. So ha!!!

Okay I’m done now haha. Thanks for reading my post ;] love muffins.

The pictures I just added to my flickr are of me & my bf, 5am before my flight left and pictures of my neice and myself yesterday.

Since I’ve been home I’ve already seen some nobodies. I was at my favorite spot, Target, with my family. As we were leaving these 2 girls decided instead of getting on the same elevator with me they’d wait for the next one. Hey, whatever floats your boat, clown ass. I’m so sure I’ll see many more lames.

I’m not so sure when I became so terrified of flying nor why.  The past year and some months I’ve become really scared during take off. I can’t sleep on planes. I always stay up no matter how early it is or how much sleep I’ve accumulated the night before.  Yes I’ve tried taking some pills but that really doesn’t work either. No I haven’t gone to a doctor for sleeping pills because I have no insurance.

Hmm maybe now that I’m 21 I can have a drink.  My thing is I always fly at the crack of dawn, 6am. Liquor that early…I am not too sure that’s a good idea. I always pray when I fly, my family prays. I even always bring my father’s obituary. It’s like a ritual. I have to have it and my prayer book with the prayer of the day. I read it. There’s a part that you say outloud I have no shame I read it right on outloud.

Anyways, in other news, I’m fed up with people who aren’t responsible.  Last summer I had 3 jobs, I had an internship, was a bartender, and worked at The Body Shop. All in one summer. This summer I have 2 jobs. Granted I’m not perfect and I do come in late from time to time…yesterday I opened the store and one of the associates was supposed to come from 12-5, to work with me. Well he strolls in early looking like who-shot-John. And talking about how tired he is from being up all night because he decides to invite his friends over. Well his friends invited friends and it became a huge gathering where they stayed up all night playing games.

So how about he’s falling asleep, standing up. Sitting down behind the register, falling asleep. I’m like you need to stay active because that’s not looking good, people come in and you’re falling asleep? That’s bizarre as hell. At 1pm he’s saying he needs to go home, yada yada. I’m like no you’re not I’m not staying here by myself.  Well guess who calls my shop manager and he picks up and tells her how he needs to go home. She told his ass no. So when 2 rolls around I’m fed up. He hasn’t done anything, helped anyone. I told him to go home, because he’s making me look bad and the company.

My thing is people need to have better judgement, especially when they have a job they NEED. There’s no excuse. Why even have people over when you know you have to work the next day. I work 2 jobs because I need the money, I have expenses, loans, bills, the list goes on. I know I need my 2 jobs and I don’t take it for granted.

I just moved from a girl who had no respect for my stuff, she’d feed her cat my kitten food and eat my food while I was away at home.  What kind of crap is that? Just when I thought my living situation was great, now dude thinks it is okay to just drink all my stuff? I hate having to tell people about themselves, have some respect. You didn’t buy it so don’t touch it. I’m all for sharing stuff if we are going HALF on it.  He’s going to get another bottle & my soda. My thing is though if you have to reimburse me then why didn’t you just get your own damn bottle. I don’t care if I’m not around for you to ask, then that means you don’t touch it until I am around to give you permission.

One thing I can’t stand is my stuff being invaded. I don’t take that stuff lightly at all.

Anyways, my birthday was FREAKIN great. Pics are on my flicker.

Highlights…Mom sent me 21 cards, $50 Target & Marshalls card, Subway, McDonalds & Dunkin Donuts, Shay sent me a personalized Cocktail glass, Landlord Yvonne did a lovely floral arraignment, Dani, Marshawn got me Target gift cards, Dre got me some stuff off my registry,Nena got me a fancy dress, Edith got me an American Express gift card!

This was certainly the best birthday that I’ve had in a long time. A great 21 I enjoyed it A LOT!

I hate when people ask me “How’s school?” It makes me want to scream, then cry. You see, I was going to an HBCU and I hated it, and when my dad passed away during my Sophomore year I felt like that was the last straw and I needed to get the hell out of there. I was accepted into Columbia College Chicago and transferred. My ultimate goal is to start my own magazine & they have a Magazine Editing Program. Well in the middle of my first semester as a Junior a Parent Plus Loan got denied. Yes, in the MIDDLE of the semester. So basically I wasted my time because that was just…..a waste pretty much. I have an outstanding balance of…I’m not even going to say. I’m seriously just too ashamed.

Well I can’t get a co-signer, due to other personal reasons, family isn’t that close, I don’t want to pop up like “hey can you co sign” just doesn’t seem right to me. I’ve tried every and any loan possible, I get denied. Recently the “debt collectors” for the school called me. I mean I’ve done everything I could to the point that even the debt lady didn’t know what to do.

She calls me today trying to give me “Options” on paying back. Man..these “Options” were outrageous. I don’t know how she even considering coming at me with that nonsense. But I can’t pay it so I’m guessing it’s going to the courts. I’m just at my wits end…I went from being in school to not being in school. I’m a Junior for goodness sake, almost done. Now everytime someone asks me about school I don’t even want to talk about it. Everytime I see someones graduation I just get sad, it makes me want to cry.

I feel so stuck right now. Like everything I ever wanted to do is out the window…I wish I’d wake up from this nightmare…