http://ron4president.com/ The Official Ron For President '2012 Headquarters for the Ronatarian Party. 'Enough jibba jabba! Vote for Ron, Crazy Fool! en-us Copyright 2010 Tue, 02 Feb 2010 22:56:31 -0500 Tue, 02 Feb 2010 23:51:29 -0500 http://www.movabletype.org/?v=3.2 http://blogs.law.harvard.edu/tech/rss 3-74.07798This is an XML content feed. It is intended to be viewed in a newsreader or syndicated to another site, subject to copyright and fair use. Behind every successful man is a strong woman, except for the man who invented that talking sex robot. (Chuck Bonner) @ruminate.com hwcn vovbj -->... http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/Ron4President/~3/lWkgf1OzIm0/poem-2010-02-02.html http://ron4president.com/poetry/poem-2010-02-02.html Poetry Tue, 02 Feb 2010 22:56:31 -0500 http://ron4president.com/poetry/poem-2010-02-02.html Newark, New Jersey, January 28, 2010: Doctors and nurses at Newark Beth Israel Medical Center struggled to get a man's penis out of a stainless steel pipe because the restricted blood flow had caused it to become erect. Instead, they resorted to calling in the Newark Fire Department. The fire crew turned up with a special equipment unit from the Mulberry Street station and seven firefighters to help. One fireman understatedly described the situation a "delicate operation." The firefighters used a four-and-a-half-inch industrial metal grinder to cut the pipe from around the anaesthetised man's penis. The penis was left... http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/Ron4President/~3/DffBMu8pMxM/dick-pipe.html http://ron4president.com/ron-news/dick-pipe.html Ron News Thu, 28 Jan 2010 13:57:40 -0500 http://ron4president.com/ron-news/dick-pipe.html Next time I go back to that biker bar, I'm bringing my friends along to help me out. Sure, they might laugh at *one*, but I bet those chain-swinging morons would cower before *three* Jedi knights. (Hugh Ringling) @ruminate.com uwsdf... http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/Ron4President/~3/gO31_Kr7Y4o/poem-2010-01-19.html http://ron4president.com/poetry/poem-2010-01-19.html Poetry Tue, 19 Jan 2010 20:55:44 -0500 http://ron4president.com/poetry/poem-2010-01-19.html Jersey City, New Jersey, January 13, 2010: A man was released from jail on charges he threatened a neighbor who had disturbed him by stomping snow from his feet outside his own house. Police said 46-year-old John Cocktosten was released on bond Tuesday following his arrest Saturday. Officers said Cocktosten brandished a shotgun and threatened Ronatarian Party founder and leader Ron who had been stomping snow from his feet around 7 a.m. Saturday. According to The New Jersey Spew, Cocktosten told police the stomping awakened someone else who was sleeping at his place. Cocktosten was charged with aggravated assault.... http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/Ron4President/~3/dz9tpgPFSig/stomp-the-yard.html http://ron4president.com/ron-news/stomp-the-yard.html Ron News Wed, 13 Jan 2010 06:49:05 -0500 http://ron4president.com/ron-news/stomp-the-yard.html January 4, 2010: Now the confectionary world has latched on to Ron's burgeoning popularity by making Mister Ron candies. I was privileged to sample a Christmas candy over the holidays and found it irresistibly delicious! If only the rest of America would put a piece of Ron in its mouth, we'd continue to promulgate our message across this great land. The Ronatarian Party movement would swell with growth and pride. Please do your part and promote this product in your hometown and beyond. - Bittle... http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/Ron4President/~3/Zy_S8JOPKh4/mister-ron-candies.html http://ron4president.com/businesses/mister-ron-candies.html Businesses Mon, 04 Jan 2010 14:23:08 -0500 http://ron4president.com/businesses/mister-ron-candies.html Ron is Home and I Think He's Drunk Oh you better not shout, You better not cry, You better not pout, I'm tellin' you why; Ron is home and I think he's drunk. He's walkin' real slow, He slurs when he speaks, I don't even think He’s shaved in two weeks, Ron is home and boy is he drunk. He spent most of Brad's money On Johnny Walker Black And then he took all of the rest And lost it at the track. Sooo.... You better not pout, You better not cry, I don't like that look in his eye,... http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/Ron4President/~3/XE8zGuGxC24/poem-2009-12-24.html http://ron4president.com/poetry/poem-2009-12-24.html Poetry Thu, 24 Dec 2009 08:39:38 -0500 http://ron4president.com/poetry/poem-2009-12-24.html "Ron" Stewart and "Ron" Hodgeman discuss America faking its own death during the December 15, 2009 broadcast of The Daily Show with Jon Stewart (Comedy Central). Notice how they both sport mustaches while calling themselves "Ron" -- an obvious homage to Ron's fervent political movement. Ronatarianism has clawed its way into the forefront American society. Ron is here to stay. Deal with it, bitches!... http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/Ron4President/~3/d6EHo2VOI4Q/the-daily-show-with-ron-stewart.html http://ron4president.com/ron-news/the-daily-show-with-ron-stewart.html Ron News Wed, 16 Dec 2009 08:46:32 -0500 http://ron4president.com/ron-news/the-daily-show-with-ron-stewart.html Happiness is a tired cellmate. (Brad Simanek) @ruminate.com... http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/Ron4President/~3/Xyf00r-F6ds/poem-2009-12-13.html http://ron4president.com/poetry/poem-2009-12-13.html Poetry Sun, 13 Dec 2009 23:08:46 -0500 http://ron4president.com/poetry/poem-2009-12-13.html December 2, 2009: While Ron's great influence on humanity is well documented and wholly praised, a worldly philosopher might inquire: "What is Ron's influence in the animal kingdom?" Great question. It has long been circulated that "a dog is a man's best friend." As Ron is revered by men everywhere and many men are, in turn, loved by a dog, by the transitive property of friendship: Several dogs worship Ron. But how can we prove that these dogs truly love Ron? Canines cannot verbalize their love of Ron nor can those dogs geographically separated from Ron show their affections... http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/Ron4President/~3/qngY4aXqLV4/humunga-stache.html http://ron4president.com/businesses/humunga-stache.html Businesses Wed, 02 Dec 2009 09:47:08 -0500 http://ron4president.com/businesses/humunga-stache.html New York, New York, November 24, 2009: You'll need to be 21 to take a bite out of this Thanksgiving turkey. The owner of a Midtown pub is serving Wild Turkey with a twist -- for Thanksgiving, he's soaking his holiday birds with booze. "It's a turkey you can eat and drink at the same time, but you'll need a cab home," said pub owner Paul Hurley, who will serve up birds injected with 100-proof Georgi vodka. "There's an ounce of vodka in every bite." Hurley, the owner of O'Casey's Tavern on East 41st Street, said a former patron... http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/Ron4President/~3/0xZvpuGhx5g/tipsy-turkey.html http://ron4president.com/ron-news/tipsy-turkey.html Ron News Tue, 24 Nov 2009 09:33:00 -0500 http://ron4president.com/ron-news/tipsy-turkey.html New York, New York, November 9, 2009: Police arrested a 56-year-old man accused of threatening Ron with a corkscrew at a public restroom in Central Park. A witness told police he saw a man holding a corkscrew in his hand while kicking the bathroom door and threatening to kill Ron, who was inside. No one was injured. Officers arrested the man on charges of menacing, unlawful use of a weapon, and disorderly conduct. They confiscated the corkscrew. The man, who has no permanent address, was taken to a local police holding cell. Bail was set at $62,500 after his... http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/Ron4President/~3/tx3sn9xZnw8/corkscrewed.html http://ron4president.com/ron-news/corkscrewed.html Ron News Mon, 09 Nov 2009 14:14:13 -0500 http://ron4president.com/ron-news/corkscrewed.html October 28, 2009: This is a reminder from Ron and the entire Ronatarian Party that we're only two days away from Ronstache Day. Put away your razor! If you don't know by now, Ronstache Day is a celebration of the mustache -- specifically Ron's glorious mustache. Don't be a chump! Celebrate the day with hair on your lip! Viva la Ron! - Bittle... http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/Ron4President/~3/lqvoluADKKM/ronstache-day-2009.html http://ron4president.com/ronstache-day/ronstache-day-2009.html Ronstache Day Wed, 28 Oct 2009 11:07:27 -0500 http://ron4president.com/ronstache-day/ronstache-day-2009.html Paterson, New Jersey, October 23, 2009: Police say a 1,400-pound bull that escaped from a northern New Jersey slaughterhouse dragged a man with a lasso down a street and ran 10 blocks before being captured and sedated. Chief John DeCando, spokesman for Paterson Police's animal control division, says the bull was being unloaded at ENA Meat Packing Inc. when it broke loose just before 11:00 a.m. Thursday. Police tried to corral the bull and direct it back towards the slaughterhouse, but Ronatarian Party leader Ron decided to take matters into his own hands. Ron was in Paterson buying beer... http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/Ron4President/~3/ljuXY4QqC-k/thats-no-bull.html http://ron4president.com/ron-news/thats-no-bull.html Ron News Fri, 23 Oct 2009 09:28:45 -0500 http://ron4president.com/ron-news/thats-no-bull.html Maybe someone can explain to me why anyone would ever hold a poetry festival somewhere other than Nantucket. (Bob Van Voris) @ruminate.com... http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/Ron4President/~3/GKpOL9HQu7o/poem-2009-10-04.html http://ron4president.com/poetry/poem-2009-10-04.html Poetry Sun, 04 Oct 2009 21:11:11 -0500 http://ron4president.com/poetry/poem-2009-10-04.html Jersey City, New Jersey, October 1, 2009: Authorities say local politician Ron -- who was burned up at his roommate Brad -- fried their pet goldfish and ate some of them. Jersey City police say it's a civil matter and no charges will be filed. The seven goldfish were purchased together by the duo during happier times. Police spokesman Vance Mitchell says Brad reported on Wednesday that Ron took the goldfish from his room. Mitchell says the two argued earlier about some wine coolers Ron had bought but Brad had drunk. Officers who were dispatched to the shared home... http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/Ron4President/~3/ID6wUW9W98k/fish-fry.html http://ron4president.com/ron-news/fish-fry.html Ron News Thu, 01 Oct 2009 14:42:47 -0500 http://ron4president.com/ron-news/fish-fry.html