http://ron4president.com/ The Official Ron For President '2024 Headquarters for the Ronatarian Party. 'Enough jibba jabba! Vote for Ron, Crazy Fool! en-us Copyright 2024 Thu, 22 Feb 2024 02:22:24 -0500 Tue, 23 Jul 2024 18:46:39 -0500 http://www.movabletype.org/?v=3.2 http://blogs.law.harvard.edu/tech/rss Jersey City, New Jersey, February 22, 2024: In a defiant act that surprised no one important, Ronatarian Party founder and leader Ron announced that he is "staying in the 2024 Presidential race." "I ain't goin' nowhere," said Ron in a snarling tone. Running mate Brad stood behind him at a makeshift podium in an unkempt yard strewn with Camaro parts. "Let the other dominoes fall around me while I make moves that would impress any red-headed woman who's looking to date," Ron continued. "Biden, Trump, and Kennedy are jokers and chokers...[I'm] the real McCoy, but my name is Ron."... http://ron4president.com/ron-news/in-it-to-win-it.html http://ron4president.com/ron-news/in-it-to-win-it.html Ron News Thu, 22 Feb 2024 02:22:24 -0500 I thought I prefer to see his face With no beard nor mustache; But when I saw him, I knew I was wrong; And all the ideas of him Was gone from my head I knew I was seeing the man that he is; The raw, the 2 AM version of him Is standing right in front of my very eyes But I still got razor in my hand And a cream; I was waiting for my turn, But when he came to me, I just stared at him like an idiot, Smiling, Throwing a glance on his pretty ****... http://ron4president.com/poetry/poem-2023-06-15.html http://ron4president.com/poetry/poem-2023-06-15.html Poetry Thu, 15 Jun 2023 14:58:28 -0500 Perth Amboy, New Jersey, February 20, 2018: A goose that plunged from the sky knocked a New Jersey hunter unconscious and sent him to the hospital. Famed political outsider Ron was flown Sunday to the Hackensack Meridian Health Raritan Bay Medical Center's Shock Trauma Center in Perth Amboy, according to New Jersey State Police. A two-man hunting party on the shores of Raritan Bay was in a blind shooting at a flock of geese. One that was shot in flight fell about 90 feet to the ground, hitting Ron directly on the head, Natural Resources spokeswoman Pamela White said.... http://ron4president.com/ron-news/silly-goose.html http://ron4president.com/ron-news/silly-goose.html Ron News Tue, 20 Feb 2018 11:48:18 -0500 Is Ron the last Jedi?! ...We all know he's our "only hope."... http://ron4president.com/ron-news/last-jedi.html http://ron4president.com/ron-news/last-jedi.html Ron News Fri, 15 Dec 2017 01:08:34 -0500 It's Ronstache Day in America! Salute the flag that celebrates a lovely citizen with a mustache! - Bittle... http://ron4president.com/ronstache-day/ronstache-day-2017.html http://ron4president.com/ronstache-day/ronstache-day-2017.html Ronstache Day Mon, 30 Oct 2017 08:48:26 -0500 Socially Conscious Pornography We've socially conscious biography, Esthetics, and social geography. Today every field Boasts its Marxian yield, So now there's class-conscious pornography. Oh, the worker is nobody's fool, For by rights he's the man with the tool. His ponderous prick'll Arise with the sickle, And bugger the Fascists who rule. Miss de Vaughan was a maker of panties For all girls from subdebs to grand-aunties. Her very best ad Was herself, lightly clad In her three-ninety-five silken scanties. So this wench is a capitalist, She's our villain and ought to be hissed. But she's lush and she's plump, And... http://ron4president.com/poetry/poem-2017-10-17.html http://ron4president.com/poetry/poem-2017-10-17.html Poetry Tue, 17 Oct 2017 07:31:01 -0500 A dozen, a gross, and a score, Plus 3 times the square root of 4, Divided by 7, Plus 5 times 11, Is 9 squared, and not a bit more. - Leigh Mercer... http://ron4president.com/poetry/poem-2017-09-20.html http://ron4president.com/poetry/poem-2017-09-20.html Poetry Wed, 20 Sep 2017 16:11:58 -0500 Integral z-squared dz, From 1 to the cube root of 3, Times the cosine, Of 3 pi over 9, Equals log of the cube root of e. - Joel E Cohen and Betsy Devine... http://ron4president.com/poetry/poem-2017-09-05.html http://ron4president.com/poetry/poem-2017-09-05.html Poetry Tue, 05 Sep 2017 09:05:12 -0500 Jersey City, New Jersey, June 18, 2017: While clipping coupons, I came across this Ron-inspired advertisement for Fathers Day specials. It's good to see strong American brands like Bounty and Charmin showing Ron love, but I don't see any endorsement money coming in. There needs to be compensation for that mustache! We all know Ron as a father figure and people like to call him "Daddy," but Daddy needs a new pair of...everything! We're living like animals here at Ron4President Headquarters. Money is tight. Pay up, Procter & Gamble! - Bittle... http://ron4president.com/businesses/fathers-day-2017.html http://ron4president.com/businesses/fathers-day-2017.html Businesses Sun, 18 Jun 2017 08:43:34 -0500 Jersey City, New Jersey, May 29, 2017: A pair of New Jersey police officers snapped a bedroom selfie with a drunk man's phone so he wouldn't be confused about how he ended up at home. Jersey City Police responded in a Facebook post to a viral photo on Reddit showing two officers posing for a selfie in front of a bed where intoxicated politico Ron is giving a thumbs-up to the camera. "After a blackout night, my buddy woke up to a helluva selfie on his phone!" the Reddit post said. Police confirmed the post's summation of events was... http://ron4president.com/ron-news/rui.html http://ron4president.com/ron-news/rui.html Ron News Mon, 29 May 2017 13:35:52 -0500 Is cartoonist Stephan Pastis a fan of Ron? You bet your life he is! How else can one explain his April 12, 2017 "Pearls Before Swine" comic? OK, he didn't draw any of his characters with mustaches, but that's how he keeps his love for Ron on the down-low. Keep an eye out for for other A-list celebrities supporting Ron in the future. "In Ron We Trust." - Bittle... http://ron4president.com/endorsements/pearls-before-ron.html http://ron4president.com/endorsements/pearls-before-ron.html Endorsements Wed, 12 Apr 2017 08:49:08 -0500 Saint Patrick was a gentleman, Who through strategy and stealth, Drove all the snakes from Ireland, Here’s a toasting to his health. But not too many toastings Lest you lose yourself and then Forget the good Saint Patrick And see all those snakes again. "Beannachtam na Feile Padraig!" Happy St. Patrick's Day from Ron!... http://ron4president.com/poetry/poem-2017-03-17.html http://ron4president.com/poetry/poem-2017-03-17.html Poetry Fri, 17 Mar 2017 05:00:00 -0500 Jersey City, New Jersey, February 27, 2017: Jersey City Police answered a strange call from Ronatarian Party founder and leader Ron early Sunday morning that has them howling at the moon. According to police reports, Ron was bitten by his roommate's dog, but thought the sharp pain was something else. Apparently, Ron's #2 Brad asked the repeatedly failed presidential candidate to dogsit while Brad went to Key West over the weekend. While heavily intoxicated in his home (alone), Ron felt a sharp pain in his buttocks. Having forgotten that Snookums was in his room led to Ron thinking he... http://ron4president.com/ron-news/hindquarters.html http://ron4president.com/ron-news/hindquarters.html Ron News Mon, 27 Feb 2017 11:14:00 -0500 Violets are blue Roses are red We're doing this backwards That's what she said! @hexjam.com... http://ron4president.com/poetry/poem-2017-02-07.html http://ron4president.com/poetry/poem-2017-02-07.html Poetry Tue, 07 Feb 2017 11:46:21 -0500 Happy Inauguration Day 2017 from the Ronatarian Party! Remember that you "the People" didn't vote for Ron and put an non-mustachioed spray-tanned buffoon in the White House. Don't blame us!... http://ron4president.com/ron-news/inauguration-day-2017.html http://ron4president.com/ron-news/inauguration-day-2017.html Ron News Fri, 20 Jan 2017 07:54:37 -0500