http://ron4president.com/ The Official Ron For President '2008 Headquarters for the Ronatarian Party. 'Enough jibba jabba! Vote for Ron, Crazy Fool! en-us Copyright 2009 Mon, 09 Nov 2009 14:14:13 -0500 Mon, 09 Nov 2009 14:17:01 -0500 http://www.movabletype.org/?v=3.2 http://blogs.law.harvard.edu/tech/rss 3-74.07798This is an XML content feed. It is intended to be viewed in a newsreader or syndicated to another site, subject to copyright and fair use. New York, New York, November 9, 2009: Police arrested a 56-year-old man accused of threatening Ron with a corkscrew at a public restroom in Central Park. A witness told police he saw a man holding a corkscrew in his hand while kicking the bathroom door and threatening to kill Ron, who was inside. No one was injured. Officers arrested the man on charges of menacing, unlawful use of a weapon, and disorderly conduct. They confiscated the corkscrew. The man, who has no permanent address, was taken to a local police holding cell. Bail was set at $62,500 after his... http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/Ron4President/~3/tx3sn9xZnw8/corkscrewed.html http://ron4president.com/ron-news/corkscrewed.html Ron News Mon, 09 Nov 2009 14:14:13 -0500 http://ron4president.com/ron-news/corkscrewed.html October 28, 2009: This is a reminder from Ron and the entire Ronatarian Party that we're only two days away from Ronstache Day. Put away your razor! If you don't know by now, Ronstache Day is a celebration of the mustache -- specifically Ron's glorious mustache. Don't be a chump! Celebrate the day with hair on your lip! Viva la Ron! - Bittle... http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/Ron4President/~3/lqvoluADKKM/ronstache-day-2009.html http://ron4president.com/ronstache-day/ronstache-day-2009.html Ronstache Day Wed, 28 Oct 2009 11:07:27 -0500 http://ron4president.com/ronstache-day/ronstache-day-2009.html Paterson, New Jersey, October 23, 2009: Police say a 1,400-pound bull that escaped from a northern New Jersey slaughterhouse dragged a man with a lasso down a street and ran 10 blocks before being captured and sedated. Chief John DeCando, spokesman for Paterson Police's animal control division, says the bull was being unloaded at ENA Meat Packing Inc. when it broke loose just before 11:00 a.m. Thursday. Police tried to corral the bull and direct it back towards the slaughterhouse, but Ronatarian Party leader Ron decided to take matters into his own hands. Ron was in Paterson buying beer... http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/Ron4President/~3/ljuXY4QqC-k/thats-no-bull.html http://ron4president.com/ron-news/thats-no-bull.html Ron News Fri, 23 Oct 2009 09:28:45 -0500 http://ron4president.com/ron-news/thats-no-bull.html Maybe someone can explain to me why anyone would ever hold a poetry festival somewhere other than Nantucket. (Bob Van Voris) @ruminate.com... http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/Ron4President/~3/GKpOL9HQu7o/poem-2009-10-04.html http://ron4president.com/poetry/poem-2009-10-04.html Poetry Sun, 04 Oct 2009 21:11:11 -0500 http://ron4president.com/poetry/poem-2009-10-04.html Jersey City, New Jersey, October 1, 2009: Authorities say local politician Ron -- who was burned up at his roommate Brad -- fried their pet goldfish and ate some of them. Jersey City police say it's a civil matter and no charges will be filed. The seven goldfish were purchased together by the duo during happier times. Police spokesman Vance Mitchell says Brad reported on Wednesday that Ron took the goldfish from his room. Mitchell says the two argued earlier about some wine coolers Ron had bought but Brad had drunk. Officers who were dispatched to the shared home... http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/Ron4President/~3/ID6wUW9W98k/fish-fry.html http://ron4president.com/ron-news/fish-fry.html Ron News Thu, 01 Oct 2009 14:42:47 -0500 http://ron4president.com/ron-news/fish-fry.html Jersey City, New Jersey, September 15, 2009: A New Jersey history buff who recreates firearms from old wars accidentally fired a 2-pound cannonball through the wall of his neighbor's home. William Maser, 54, fired a cannonball Tuesday evening outside his home in Jersey City that ricocheted and hit a house 400 yards away. The cannonball, about two inches in diameter, smashed through a window and a wall before landing in a closet. Authorities said nobody was hurt. The cannonball awoke the fired-upon neighbor from his post-happy hour nap. The neighbor, identified as Ronatarian Party leader Ron, said he was... http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/Ron4President/~3/Yr35sBlj7-8/cannonball.html http://ron4president.com/ron-news/cannonball.html Ron News Tue, 15 Sep 2009 01:09:55 -0500 http://ron4president.com/ron-news/cannonball.html Jersey City, New Jersey, September 12, 2009: Police say three armed thieves stormed into a Jersey City home to steal a water jug full of loose change. Hudson County police said the masked suspects descended on the somewhat ramshackle home around 2 a.m. Friday. Outside they came across the enraged owner, Ron, who was returning from a night out on the town drinking. Police said the burglars roughed Ron up and berated his political positions before breaking in. Detective Sgt. Peter Paul Molloy said the bandits then went straight for an upstairs bedroom where the coins were kept in... http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/Ron4President/~3/DV_K_zHzt-w/lose-change.html http://ron4president.com/ron-news/lose-change.html Ron News Sat, 12 Sep 2009 10:01:16 -0500 http://ron4president.com/ron-news/lose-change.html I still think one of mankind's greatest inventions is that little brown strip that appears in the bottom of my underwear to tell me when it's time to wash them. (Michael F.) @ruminate.com naul... http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/Ron4President/~3/iAAptHCmnc4/poem-2009-09-03.html http://ron4president.com/poetry/poem-2009-09-03.html Poetry Thu, 03 Sep 2009 21:25:59 -0500 http://ron4president.com/poetry/poem-2009-09-03.html Boston, Massachusetts, September 2, 2009: Talk about being in a pickle: A Massachusetts judge gave a New Jersey politician probation in a case that police said involved an assault with pickles. According to police reports, the pickle problems began when Ronatarian Party leader Ron was hanging out at his then-friend "Evil" Steve Bonadio's home in Stow on August 29. Ron went to the refrigerator and helped himself to some pickles. According to the report, Bonadio told Ron he couldn't afford to feed everyone and not to eat his pickles. Ron then began yelling and swearing and stormed out, according... http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/Ron4President/~3/JKtzV2PghMQ/in-a-pickle.html http://ron4president.com/ron-news/in-a-pickle.html Ron News Wed, 02 Sep 2009 16:07:52 -0500 http://ron4president.com/ron-news/in-a-pickle.html West Orange, New Jersey, August 14, 2009: A New Jersey politico is getting rabies shots after he said he was bitten by otters while swimming in a lake. Ronatarian Party founder and leader Ron told The New Jersey Spew that he was swimming in Crystal Lake near the Eagle Rock Reservation yesterday when three otters suddenly appeared. Feeling concerned, he swam to shore. Just as he got there, he said, "there they were -- one f*cker on my right leg and one on my mustache." He said they swam off when he shook his legs and "blew a snot... http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/Ron4President/~3/HhkLv-4Mq7c/otterly-ridiculous.html http://ron4president.com/ron-news/otterly-ridiculous.html Ron News Fri, 14 Aug 2009 13:56:57 -0500 http://ron4president.com/ron-news/otterly-ridiculous.html If all the world's a stage, the USA is the shiny vertical pole in the middle. (The Covert Comic) @ruminate.com ivsxdd... http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/Ron4President/~3/j1P9bwSYgC4/poem-2009-07-30.html http://ron4president.com/poetry/poem-2009-07-30.html Poetry Thu, 30 Jul 2009 01:48:15 -0500 http://ron4president.com/poetry/poem-2009-07-30.html Jersey City, New Jersey, July 29, 2009: Jersey City Police say a man fed up of children playing in front of his house blared a pornographic soundtrack to chase them off. Irate neighbors told police they could hear the sexually explicit audio a block and a half away. Police say Ronatarian Party founder and leader Ron faces a possible felony obscenity charge and two misdemeanors for the July 28 stunt at his ramshackle home. The 30-something mustachioed Ron has a preliminary hearing scheduled for next month. He doesn't have a listed telephone number, and his lawyer declined to comment... http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/Ron4President/~3/hx5zR2gY0ak/groan-blare-it.html http://ron4president.com/ron-news/groan-blare-it.html Ron News Wed, 29 Jul 2009 02:24:34 -0500 http://ron4president.com/ron-news/groan-blare-it.html Jersey City, New Jersey, July 20, 2009: Police said a Jersey City man threatened to slit his neighbors' throats after they reported him for playing loud music. A 32-year-old man was charged with three counts of criminal threatening and two of criminal mischief after he admitted punching a hole in the neighbors' front door. Police said they gave the unidentified man a noise ticket early Friday, but the neighbors -- identified as Ronatarians Ron and Brad -- called officers back about a half hour later. Investigators said the man went to Ron and Brad's house to apologize, but things... http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/Ron4President/~3/BqM9zmjD1tY/somebodys-knockin.html http://ron4president.com/ron-news/somebodys-knockin.html Ron News Mon, 20 Jul 2009 19:52:09 -0500 http://ron4president.com/ron-news/somebodys-knockin.html Jersey City, New Jersey, July 17, 2009: A New Jersey man says he swiped his debit card at a liquor store to buy a six-pack of beer and was charged over 23 quadrillion dollars. Ronatarian Party leader Ron checked his account online a few hours later and saw the 17-digit number -- a stunning $23,148,855,308,184,500 (twenty-three quadrillion, one hundred forty-eight trillion, eight hundred fifty-five billion, three hundred eight million, one hundred eighty-four thousand, five hundred dollars). "I almost crapped my pants," said Ron. "Well...OK...I did crap my pants. After I cleaned up, I called the bank and gave them... http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/Ron4President/~3/8RUI_MyFgLg/overcharge.html http://ron4president.com/ron-news/overcharge.html Ron News Fri, 17 Jul 2009 10:28:43 -0500 http://ron4president.com/ron-news/overcharge.html Jersey City, New Jersey, June 22, 2009: A New Jersey politician who was found asleep headfirst in a neighbor's trash can after a night of drinking has apologized and says he's embarrassed. No charges have been filed against Ron, who is the upstart Ronatarian Party's founder and leader. Ron said he had dinner and drinks with friends in nearby Newark on Saturday night. He said he was driven home in roommate Brad's Dodge Neon, but remembers little that happened after that. A neighbor found Ron in the trash can early Sunday and called police, who helped Ron home. Jersey... http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/Ron4President/~3/Mr_dOOIoI2E/garbage-pail-politician.html http://ron4president.com/ron-news/garbage-pail-politician.html Ron News Mon, 22 Jun 2009 09:17:47 -0500 http://ron4president.com/ron-news/garbage-pail-politician.html